He's Been Drawing Clocks Since 2018. Tabs, Tues., Oct. 28, 2025
SHOW AMERICA YOUR CLOCK.
Another day, another tabs!
Donald Trump wants America to know that he took another dementia test recently. Clearly they’re telling him it’s an intelligence test, meant to show how smart he is, but … no, it’s not that.
Fuckin’ People magazine, y’all, which is absolutely killing it right now.
By the way, if you don’t know the rule about People magazine these days, it is, if you want to know if a story is breaking through with normies — and in so doing use it to shame Democrats and their consultants for being idiots who are only willing to talk about “kitchen table issues” — check to see if People is covering it. Oh look, sure is! [People]
Gavin Newsom weighed in, noting that “Most people don’t take that many cognitive tests unless a doctor is worried.”
Of course, if they were trying to track a sudden decline … but we’re not a doctor, how would we know!
Speaking of not a doctor!
![Trump on Truth Social: “Pregnant Women, DON’T USE TYLENOL UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, DON’T GIVE TYLENOL TO YOUR YOUNG CHILD FOR VIRTUALLY ANY REASON,” Trump wrote. “BREAK UP THE MMR SHOT INTO THREE TOTALLY SEPARATE SHOTS (NOT MIXED!), TAKE CHICKEN P SHOT SEPARATELY, TAKE HEPATITAS [sic] B SHOT AT 12 YEARS OLD, OR OLDER, AND, IMPORTANTLY, TAKE VACCINE IN 5 SEPARATE MEDICAL VISITS! President DJT”](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!AgOF!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffc4e439f-9eb5-4552-9497-81b4c5650d87_1156x1458.png "Trump on Truth Social: “Pregnant Women, DON’T USE TYLENOL UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, DON’T GIVE TYLENOL TO YOUR YOUNG CHILD FOR VIRTUALLY ANY REASON,” Trump wrote. “BREAK UP THE MMR SHOT INTO THREE TOTALLY SEPARATE SHOTS (NOT MIXED!), TAKE CHICKEN P SHOT SEPARATELY, TAKE HEPATITAS [sic] B SHOT AT 12 YEARS OLD, OR OLDER, AND, IMPORTANTLY, TAKE VACCINE IN 5 SEPARATE MEDICAL VISITS! President DJT”")
He posted that at 4:00 a.m., from Malaysia. [Daily Beast]
But anyway, back to dementia. Trump, as he bragged about his dementia test that he (allegedly) did great on — he always brags that he aced his dementia test, he is so proud:
As we were saying.
But yes, as he was bragging on Air Force One about the dementia test he (allegedly) nailed, he of course had to make himself feel smarter than two women of color who are far superior to him in every way, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Jasmine Crockett. And he babbled:
“Let Jasmine go against Trump. I don’t think Jasmine– The first couple questions are easy: a tiger, an elephant, a giraffe, you know. When you get up to about five or six and then when you get up to 10 and 20 and 25, they couldn’t come close to answering any of those questions.”
The test takes 10 minutes, and it is not designed to be hard for anyone whose brain is functioning. It does not measure intelligence. It does not measure IQ. There is no such thing as a hard test for smart people that begins with “identify which one is giraffe.”
“I took– Those are very hard– They’re really aptitude tests, I guess, in a certain way, but they’re cognitive tests. Let AOC go against Trump.”
Not hard. Not aptitude. Dementia.
AOC chimed in:
Yes, yes they did. That’s on the Montreal Cognitive Assessment, the dementia test Trump is always taking and (allegedly) doing well on. It’s a whole thing with dementia testing. We would love to see what kind of clock Trump drew, and if it looks like a good clock, or a bad clock, or if he wrote any perverted birthday messages to Jeffrey Epstein on top of the clock’s pubic hair.
But hey, one more thing, because Trump also said he got an MRI at Walter Reed, and that he aced that one too. Why did he get an MRI? [CNN]
Here is Trump doing one of his cock-jerking dances in Malaysia:
Speaking of AOC, she is the president now, she became it when she sent this tweet. Riley Gaines, that back-of-the-pool loser, tweeted a pic of AOC, Zohran and Bernie at a rally together, whining, “We’re being destroyed from within.” And AOC replied:
Speaking of Trump’s dementia, he posted a meme on Truth Social thanking himself for working so hard, for no money. (You know, besides all the bribes and gifts and whatever fraud he and the family may or may not currently be committing, etc. But other than that!) [Daily Beast]
And speaking of our hilarious joke about Trump drawing a clock and putting pubic hair on it, did y’all see this from Michael Wolff, about what he says Trump is terrified of re: Ghislaine Maxwell?
Huh, what would that make Trump? If he and Epstein indeed facilitated the getting of young girls for … there’s a phrase for it, we’re sure we’ll remember sometime!
OK, ugh, guess we have to talk about ICE now.
Look, it’s ICE Nazi Gestapo in Chicago tear-gassing a neighborhood that’s trying to get ready for the kids’ Halloween parade. Hey Nazis, we invite you to cry more that we’re calling these Nazis the Nazis they are. [Independent]
And ICE is about to get sooooo much worse. Just … read this entire thread, and Wonkette will have an ICE update for you luego.
Here’s part of Rachel Maddow’s terrifying show last night, about all the surveillance powers and terrifying tools being given to ICE:
The top of the USDA page looks, um, interesting right now. [USDA]
Who’s coping harder than hard about Zohran Mamdani? Ron DeSantis is coping harder than hard! [Florida Politics]
Oh, Pam Bondi’s fascist clownfucker DOJ is sending election monitors to try to intimidate non-white, non-Republican people at the polls and see if they can do any light election rigging in the process? Well then California will send babysitters for the DOJ election monitors. [Politico]
José Andrés and his World Central Kitchen have shown up to the disaster area of … Washington DC. To feed federal workers who aren’t being paid because of the shutdown. USA! USA! [Washingtonian]
AND ON THAT FUCKING NOTE.
The end.
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Penguins! Your hed gif source info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/its-penguin-spice-season
And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/3004c8f1-9022-47e6-8105-738b90d2fe63?utm_source=share
Man, that shade at Riley Gaines is pointy knife perfect.