Loser Trump Coup Lawyer John Eastman, You Are DISBARRED AS F*CK
More accountability for Trump lawyers!
A good thing at this moment in Trump 2.0 is that we are starting to see news on a fairly regular basis about lawyers who have served Donald Trump by committing crimes or ethical violations for him or otherwise licking his balls the way he likes, facing accountability. Last week, the story of dipshit Ed Martin and his battle with the DC Bar over his reported violations of the constitutional rights of Georgetown students when he was acting US attorney in DC, and his obstruction of the investigation into it.
The humiliation of Lindsey Halligan is a hoot. The ongoing humiliation of Alina Habba.
One of the greatest prayers you can pray for these people — even better than Pete Hegseth’s violent loser Pulp Fiction prayers — and for people like Pam Bondi and Todd Blanche, is that when they shuffle off this mortal coil on a one-way ticket to eternal damnation, they will do it as non-lawyers. Same way Rudy Giuliani one day will. Same way Roy Cohn did.
And now, the same way John Eastman will. That’s right, one of Donald Trump’s number one coup lawyers, who helped him construct the plan to overthrow the United States government and overturn the 2020 election, and the Trump lawyer who looks most like the Harry Caray character on SNL just after getting smacked in the face with a Looney Tunes anvil, has been fully and finally disbarred in California.
Say it with us: Hahahahahahahahahaha.
Prefer a non-Substack subscription? The button below will take any amount of your choosing at Paypal — let me know if you want the newsletter subscription too! they’re separate! — or we have a Patreon too.
As The Hill explains, the California state supreme court told Eastman to fuck off with his begging that they review a lower court’s decision to disbar him for his illegal and anti-American efforts to overthrow the government and install his white supremacist Dear Leader in eternal power. And this is all they had to say about that:
“The court orders that John Charles Eastman … is disbarred from the practice of law in California and that Respondent’s name is stricken from the roll of attorneys,” reads a terse order on the docket of Eastman’s case.
Done, goodbye.
Eastman’s lawyer, who is still a lawyer, released a long-ass whine about how they’re going all the way to the United States Supreme Court, how not letting Eastman do coups is a violation of his constitutional rights, blah blah. We don’t feel like reprinting it.
Eastman was the architect of Trump’s coup, as much as anybody else was. He was the one who had the idea and wrote the memos to the effect that Mike Pence could just throw out electoral votes for states that had been unfairly won by Joe Biden receiving a majority of the vote. They could replace them with these fake electors he found right here in his yellowed tighty-whities! He was also a fan of admitting on camera that he just wanted Mike Pence to break the law some on January 6, how is that so bad?
Eastman was indicted in Georgia for his election-stealing activities, he lost his job as the dean of Chapman University’s law school (where he used his work email to leave behind lots of evidence), his disbarment hearing was a clownshow of shitfuck proportions, he was found liable for 10 out of the 11 counts against him, and he was recommended for disbarment back in 2024. Also he begged Trump for a pardon back in those days, even though he hadn’t been charged with a federal crime. “I’ve decided that I should be on the pardon list, if that is still in the works,” he wrote, about what he had decided the punishment should (not) be for the crimes he committed. He finally received that pardon last year.
Oh yeah, and his stupid kids think their daddy is just like Jesus. In fact, out of all the loser Trump lawyers, Eastman may be the most whining-est professional victim of all of them, or at least tied with Rudy Giuliani.
A statement from the pro-democracy side of things:
“Eastman played a central role in the plot to overturn the 2020 election—pressuring state officials, advancing baseless claims in court, and promoting a fringe theory that the vice president could reject certified electoral votes. His unethical actions have had real, lasting consequences for our democracy, and we applaud the California Supreme Court’s decision to disbar him,” Christine P. Sun, Senior Vice President of Legal at the States United Democracy Center, said in a statement. “This decision is part of a broader reckoning for those who seek to undermine the rule of law in this country. While Trump tries to consolidate power, the states and courts continue to successfully check executive overreach and the unlawful actions of his administration.”
A delightful addendum to this news is that, while Eastman is/was one of the most prominent anti-democracy lawyers in the country, before that, he was one of the most prominent gay-hating bigot lawyers in the country. In fact, it could be argued that he earned his place in fascist legal circles by translating God Hates Fags into legalese.
He was the chairman of the National Organization for Marriage. Remember them? He compared the anti-gay fight against marriage equality to the fight against slavery. More:
In 2000, Eastman called homosexuality an indicator of “barbarism.” He called the Supreme Court’s 2003 Lawrence decision, which overturned laws criminalizing consensual gay sex, a “despotic” decision.
Oh yeah, and he just loved Uganda’s evil “Kill The Gays” law.
And because basic bigots are always basic bigots in every basic bigot way, Eastman also wrote that racist Newsweek op-ed arguing that Kamala Harris’s parents were too stinky and foreign, therefore she is not really a natural-born citizen. He’s big into the “birthright citizenship doesn’t say what it fucking clearly says” thing, for obviously white racist reasons.
This son of a bitch should rot in prison forever, and then hell, since he was the architect of a coup that led to a terrorist attack on the United States Capitol, but he’s old and by the time real accountability comes for him, he’ll probably be dead and gone and nobody will remember him besides those stupid kids.
But now he’s not a lawyer in California. Proceedings are ongoing in DC to make him not a lawyer in DC. He’s suspended at the moment.
May his humiliation continue.
[The Hill / Democracy Docket / Right Wing Watch]
Want to read more Evan than just what’s at Wonkette? Visit The Moral High Ground and subscribe to it!
Follow me on Instagram!
And on BlueSky!
And on Facebook!
Any chance disbarment includes seizing his stupid hat collection? That would be only fair.
This is all nice, but THESE PEOPLE BELONG IN PRISON.