Nancy Mace DID TOO Get Handshaked To Death, And If You Say She Didn't She's Suing!
'Kay.
There is one fact that, we think, should preface all fair and balanced reporting about performatively two-faced Republican Rep. Nancy Mace of South Carolina: Nobody likes her. Not even her own Republican colleagues.
Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez dropped that little fact on Bluesky a few weeks ago. Commenting on Mace’s bizarre, deranged, weeks-long anti-transgender bender, AOC said:
Fwiw she is pretty widely disliked even by her GOP colleagues. She’s all over the place. Messy. Fights with them too. This is the most attention she has gotten in ages despite her many attempts, hence the differences in tack some have taken in this whole brouhaha. She really craves it. It’s weird
That’s a description, quite frankly, of a lot of MAGA figures. These are friendless losers, many of whose only semblance of self-worth comes from completely debasing themselves for Donald Trump, and then craving 24/7 those moments when he acknowledges their unquestioning obedience by sharting in their general direction.
Mace (recently!) used to love trans rights, before she became obsessed with where trans people poop after the election of incoming Democratic Rep. Sarah McBride of Delaware, who is trans. She’s been acting very constipated and angry about that ever since.
Now she is threatening to sue media outlets that don’t report the true gravity of the murderous transgender handshake attack that left her in a full-body cast this week, completely disfigured for life, and also dead.
Or maybe she is wearing a sling. Maybe she needs it. Maybe she doesn’t. But she definitely died of Shaken Handy Syndrome. Will she get better? Dunno, will you pay attention to her if she does?
Mace told far-right influencer Benny Johnson Thursday she believes the reporting amounts to defamation, and warned that media outlets covering the story better watch their backs.
“I have a warning for any media outlet that says I wrongly, falsely accused this guy of physically accosting me, of assaulting me,” she told Johnson.
“That is defamation. And so I would be walking on eggshells if I were you,” she said with a giggle.
Huh, well OK, we typed on eggshells.
The congresswoman also accused anyone who disputes her characterization of the interaction of “victim-shaming.”
Bless her heart.
According to witnesses, Nancy Mace was not in fact handshook to death this week at a Capitol event for foster youth by a nice man named James McIntyre, who told her that transgender youth need her support. She had him arrested, and then tweeted — probably with her toes due to her arm having recently been ripped off — that she had been “physically accosted tonight by a pro tr*ns man.”
When we first saw that tweet, we wondered how long it took her to settle on the verb “accosted,” and noticed how hard that verb seemed to be working in any event. Hey, know who didn’t have to work hard that night? Paramedics. Because she didn’t want to be treated by one. (Probably couldn’t have done anything for her anyway.)
The accused accoster has pleaded not accost-y.
A former Mace staffer reacted on Tweeter to a pic Mace posted of herself in a sling, recovering from handshake:
Ever since the incident, Mace has been tweeting about it, and about trans people, with approximately the frequency of Donald Trump were he to become inadvertently super-glued to his toilet. Every tweet, just about, has the hashtag #HoldTheLine, because did you know MAGA conservatives have this hilariously weird PornHub fantasy about being Braveheart? They do, and it is so goddamned funny and so goddamned weird. It’s mostly the MAGA men, but we guess the MAGA women are into it too.
Of course, Nancy Mace is so desperately on-the-nose and unsubtle, she posts tweets like this:
You betcha.
It’s so sad because Braveheart was fighting for something real, even the romanticized, historically bullshit Mel Gibson version of Braveheart they all jerk off to.
Meanwhile, Nancy Mace is on a Crusade to save America that started when she challenged the new trans congresswoman from Delaware to take a leak in a non-Nancy-Mace approved pissin’ hole.
Yes, please Rep. Mace, continue trying to convince us you’re one of God’s important children with important thoughts! You’re nailing it.
In summary and in conclusion, the real reason Nancy Mace is mad right now is that none of her stunts are working and everybody thinks she’s a clownfucking joke and nobody likes her, not even the people she desperately wants to be her friends.
DURRRRRRR DURRRR DURRRRRRR #HOLDTHELINE.
[HuffPost]
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Wasn't this basically the plot of a Brady Bunch episode, only with a neck brace and Jackie Coogan?
Somebody should drop a $100 bill in front of Mace and see if she reflexively grabs for it with her injured arm. That's what Bobby and Peter would do!
Sue the fuck out of her for defamation and false arrest, or you're basically giving the Right a template for how to crush and destroy any liberal they don't like and gain fame and money while doing it.