Not-Running-For-President RFK Jr. Demands US Supreme Court Manager Let Him Back *On* New York Ballot
Not-Running-For-President RFK Jr. Demands US Supreme Court Manager Let Him Back *On* New York Ballot
Will his brain worm please make up RFK Jr.'s mind.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is apparently desperate to replace headlines about his sexting relationship with reporter Olivia Nuzzi from the top of search results, the one where he claims she texted him obsessively, unsolicited, while he kept repeating, “please, madam, I am a married man and this is all terribly offensive to my sensibilities,” while weeping softly.
BARF!
How else to explain him EMERGENCY EMERGENCY begging the Supreme Court — the United States Supreme Court — to be put back on the ballot in New York, in a 234-page filing?
New York is not even close to a swing state; Kamala Harris is most recently up by 13 points. But Trump made two appearances there last week and seems to think he can win it. Who knows what drives the rabid bats and various varmints that are running loose in these guys’ skulls?
Junior got kicked off of the New York ballot back in August, after a judge found that his claims of residence in a $500-a-month room in a foreclosed house in Katonah, New York, “existed only on paper and were maintained for the sole purpose of maintaining his voter registration and political standing.” Sure, Jan, he spends most of his time in a rented room, and not the multimillion-dollar house next door to Dr. Dre, Scooter Braun, and Gwyneth Paltrow that he and his wife have owned in Brentwood (California, most definitely not New York) since 2021.
Why make up such a silly lie? Probably because his running mate, Nicole Shanahan, is also a resident of California, and both of them being from the same state would violate the terms of the Twelfth Amendment.
So, Kennedy whined to the court that removing him from the ballot was terribly unfair to the voters of New York, and New York has no state business meddling in the goings-on of national elections, how dare they question where he lives. Plus he spent a lot of money getting signatures to get on New York’s ballot, he complains. Leticia James should pay his legal fees! He demands to speak to the manager!
ARGH!
Perhaps Whale Karen thinks if by some miracle SCOTUS agrees to let him worm his way back onto New York’s ballot, then he could demand to be put back on the ballot in Georgia, where the red mud makes the spoiling more fertile? Yes, we know he said he wanted off the ballot in states where his presence would hurt that dear lovable Trump — heck, he sued to get back off the ballot in North Carolina, past the “get off the ballot deadline,” where he unaccountably won his case, meaning they had to reprint all the state’s election materials in contravention of state law and probably are going to fuck up weeks of state- and federally mandated early voting for everyone! — but when in the past 40 years has he made sense? What are silly ballot deadlines compared to JUSTICE? Sure, it’s the longest of long shots. But you don’t get eleventy-hundred mistresses, a whale head on your roof, a dog haunch for lunch or dead bear in your trunk by being sensible and shy!
Enjoy these many other RFK Jr. whale tales!
RFK Jr. Didn’t Eat Dog, That Skeleton Was Just The Sexual Assaults In His Closet!
Guess We Gotta Do The RFK Jr. Brain Worm Story, Don't We?
RFK Jr. Leaning Even Harder Into The Anti-Semitic Conspiracy Theories
Uh Oh! Is RFK Jr. Stealing Core Republican 'Conspiracy Theorists With Measles' Vote From Trump?
Trump Rambles To RFK Jr. About Horse-Sized Vaccines, For Unity
Bobby Brainworms is now claiming that President Big Mac is gonna save your kids from bad food:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAWcRyJSnC9/?igsh=MWozbGR5eDNiazhiaw==
Generally I'm not in favor of frontal lobotomies but in this case I think it's the only way to deworm this guy.