IN A WORLD … where talent-free right-wing hacks can finally “unleash” their creativity through the AI magic of stealing other people’s work … there is a man. A man who wanted to make it big in entertainment, but failed at that and pivoted to becoming a right-wing blowhard, because what else was he going to do? A man who finally has the chance to show the world what they missed out on.
And that man is — well, that man is a lot of men, but that man is also Dave Rubin, who this week debuted his very own AI slop “short film” depicting the horrific dystopia that awaits us all if those wily Democratic Socialists get their way.
It is quite the work of art, if your idea of art is plugging a bunch of prompts into ChatGPT to turn your right-wing fever dreams into a fake action movie trailer.
So it’s 2028 (I think?) and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been elected President of the United States (yay!). All of the scary bad people fill the streets and cheer for this terrible nightmare while “good people” get in their cars and drive into the city.
I think probably they were supposed to be going away from the city and all its communist fireworks of doom, but the AI seems to have not picked up on that!
Evil President AOC (yay!) is then seen telling a man who I think is supposed to be Hasan Piker how thankful she is for all his help.
An evil Bernie Sanders looks at the crowds, saying, “Socialism isn’t a dream anymore.”
BUT THEN, almost immediately after the election, people are lined up outside of their “Government Groceries” store, waiting on their rations!
And the cops are coming for your Grandma’s house!
And the business your family has owned for generations!
Then, you know, we black bag Chuck Schumer, whose freakishly strong hands can penetrate marble like it’s Jell-o.
It is at this point, however, that it is made clear that the plan all along was to use the promise of socialism to usher in an Islamic caliphate in the United States! How? Why? No one is sure! It just is. Now we see Zohran Mamdani’s true colors as he wraps a green Hamas scarf around his head!
It is at this point that this is very much a ripoff of the Daily Wire’s instant mega-hit Run Hide Fight: Infidels that came out last month, as the Queers For Palestine protesters march through a dark alley, only to run into the Muslim Brotherhood and, um, a random girl in a fluorescent pink shirt.
Naturally, they learn the value of Islamophobia the hard way when this hardcore band of Muslims and one random white lady who doesn’t look particularly religious start slitting all of their throats, as Barack Obama and Abdul El-Sayed gaze down approvingly from some kind of evil apartment building (probably right before making out!) while laughing at all of the stupid people they had fooled.
Things start getting even dicier as the police start arresting nice ladies just for being blonde (probably) and evil Antifa looters raid the beige store!
At least they’re polite enough to bag up their items, and print their own gift receipts.
Then there’s more looting, of course, and more cars on fire as the evil Antifa supersoldiers tear through the city in search of more GAP stores to raid.
“Useful idiots believed they had opened the gates to a better world,” our British lady narrator explains, “but they didn’t realize what the gates protected this whole time.”
Oh, and what is that, you ask? It is the Founding Fathers and cowboys and rockets and random home movies and Martin Luther King Jr. and Ronald Reagan and random fields and … Muhammad Ali? Wait. Really? Muhammad Ali?
Yep! Muhammad Ali! The famously not Muslim Muhammad Ali.
Also Marilyn Monroe, Frank Sinatra, all the sports, yadda yadda yadda, all of the good, nostalgic, Boomer moments you can shove into a few seconds, and ta-da! You have a heartstring-tugging AI movie that all of the worst people on the internet can fawn over and cry “Yes! This is what we are trying to prevent from happening!”
Because, you know, it’s not that they’re bad people who don’t want everyone to have healthcare and food and housing and an education — it’s that they know, for a fact, that those things will necessarily bring about an Islamic caliphate in which no pair of khakis will ever be safe. Duh!
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You know, I think one of the more interesting differences between the Right and the Left is that our horrific scenarios of a future with them in control are exactly what they say they want. It’s not “they get what they want and then everything goes horribly wrong because the great things they said they wanted were just a trick to bring about this far more terrible world.” No, it’s literally just “Here is what they want, it would be bad and unpleasant, so let’s not do that.”
But on the reverse, it’s always “Yeah, these people say they just want everyone to have health care but what they don’t tell you is that after the revolution you won’t even get to have your own toothbrush! You’ll have to share the neighborhood toothbrush with everyone on your street! Muahahahahaha!”
I think it’s because that’s the only way these folks can get people to accept the terrible world that they are actually very open about wanting. They want people to accept a Christian nationalist theocracy in order to prevent a far-worse Islamic caliphate, to accept severe income inequality to prevent evil communists from taking over, etc. etc. Everything that isn’t what they want, as terrible as the things they want may be, is just a slippery (and fiery!) slope to what pretty much no one wants.
Unfortunately for them, the only way they have to display our secret evil agenda is, apparently, through AI slop, because absolutely no one is going around advocating for any of it.
OPEN THREAD!
PREVIOUSLY ON WONKETTE!
I was riding Xena Warrior Scooter through Cumberland Park and this tree made me slam on my brakes. The orange is stunning. I just sat there staring at it, as a few loose leaves fluttered down around me.
You hear, stop and smell the roses; I suggest to also stop and take in the color, a feast for your eyes.
https://substack.com/profile/155618292-ziggywiggy/note/c-372819457?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2knfuc
Also a mourning dove in silhouette.
https://substack.com/@ziggywiggy/note/c-372356562?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2knfuc
Socialism is so unpopular that the closest we ever got to it was FDR. He was so unpopular that he was elected president 4 times and ushered in decades of unprecedented top-to-bottom prosperity. This was so unpopular that we had to change our constitution so that something like that could never happen again.