We’re seeing headlines that Donald Trump, who is less popular at this point than getting genital herpes from a slutty wombat while listening to Peter Thiel’s lizard mouth talk about the Antichrist, is off to the campaign trail to “rescue” Republican candidates who need rescuing. He’s going to Ohio, Iowa, and Nebraska, all of which have Senate races Republicans could potentially lose in a little over a month. (Nebraska? Oh yes. In this environment? Who the hell knows!)
But he’s also going to Alabama, and Oklahoma, because … well, it’s unclear. Alabama gubernatorial Democratic nominee (and certified actual swell fellow) Doug Jones says it’s because "We're scaring the hell out of them[.]” Possible!
And look, we believe that wherever Trump and his squeaky-toy-honking clown Natalie want to go is fine with us, because appearing in a picture with Donald Trump at this point is basically electoral suicide.
Don’t take it from us, take it from droopy-faced Ken Paxton, who is very possibly about to be the Republican who lets a Democrat break the Republican firewall in Texas and — if how things are playing out in Georgia are any indication — changes American politics forever.
The New York Times got audio of Paxton recently trashing Trump to donors and lobbyists and blaming him for his garbage numbers. He also suggested that Trump’s loser midterm convention in Dallas specifically hurt his numbers and everybody else’s.
The recording, which is muffled at times, captures Mr. Paxton being asked, “Do you feel like he’s a little bit of a drag?” It is not clear from the audio whom the questioner is referring to. [It is clear whom the questioner is referring to.]
Mr. Paxton responds: “So to be honest with you, the numbers — when we did that convention — it dropped our numbers. Everybody’s numbers dropped. Right now, yeah, not good.”
This would be a funny time for that great big Republican PAC to stop spending $125 million on Paxton. We are just saying.
The Paxton campaign is denying the report and accusing the New York Times of manipulating it, because come on, my God, have you seen how badly Paxton is doing right now? And to have him on tape treating Dear Leader like this? After Dear Leader completely blew the Texas Senate race on his behalf, by endorsing him over John Cornyn in the first place?
The campaign says its internal polling has Paxton up three points, which is interesting, since zero (0) publicly released polls on Real Clear Politics’s list of the most recent nine polls have Paxton up by any points. (Their average is James Talarico +2.9.) Larry Sabato’s Crystal Ball is still calling Texas a toss-up, as is Cook. We see why they’re being conservative, based on history, but it’s going to be real interesting if one of them jumps off the ledge and moves Texas and Talarico into the “lean D” column.
Seriously, though, after everything Donald Trump has done for Paxton, and this is how he treats Trump? Who can forget all the times, including at that Republican convention in Dallas, that Trump has explained that even if you think Paxton is ugly and wears bad clothes and don’t like to hear him talk, Trump agrees with you, but you should still suck it up and vote for Paxton, who sucks?
Said Trump, “You may not like the way he looks […] the fact is that some may not like the way he dresses, I don’t! […] They may not like the way he talks, I can see that …”
Yes, we all can see that.
And yes, everybody agrees, Trump’s midterm convention in Dallas was awful, a confab of STIs and fungal infections that were picked last for kickball in elementary school. No Republican wanted to go to it in the first place, certainly not anyone in a tough race this fall. The only thing it launched was the shame-boners of every convention attendee who spent hours afterward gazing at the pictures of Hasan Piker’s bulge that Republicans had put up on the Jumbotron for that night’s communal wanking session.
PREVIOUSLY!
The Times reports that they’ve heard other “private whispers” from Republicans about what a real ass-suck Trump’s Texas convention was, due to how everybody hates Trump. But Trump is pretty sure it helped, though! “The convention helped Ken Paxton a lot,” said Trump shortly after the event. Trump, of course, would be physically incapable of saying anything else about it.
Meanwhile, Karl Rove said in a Texas Tribune interview that “In the last 48 hours, [Sen.] Ted Cruz has reached out to me and says, ‘We're losing.’ Ken Paxton has sent me several emails saying, ‘I'm losing, I need your help.’” Rove hasn’t said whether he, too, is a Talafreako, or if he is only voting for that one Democrat in Texas, because the Republican running for railroad commissioner is such a bigot. But it’s very clear that he agrees in the strongest terms possible that Paxton is a giant fuckup and a loser.
At press time, James Talarico was challenging Ken Paxton to debates on Fox News, saying that if Paxton is scared to debate him anywhere else, “Let’s go to Ken Paxton’s safe space.” (Rove agrees that they should debate!)
Meanwhile, Ken Paxton has a message for you haters who thinks he’s soft on pedophiles: “The criticism has been that I let a child predator out after one day. Well, guess what? They served 60 days.”
Yeah.
Ken Paxton. You may not like the way he looks. The fact is that some may not like the way he dresses, we don’t! You may not like the way he talks, we can see that.
But he puts pedophiles in jail for 60 DAYS.
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“The criticism has been that I let a child predator out after one day. Well, guess what? They served 60 days.”
And that's not even true. The guy served *29* days of a 60-day sentence, which the judge imposed after Paxton's hand-picked prosecutors asked for "time served plus 1 day" and the judge told them (in polite legal terms) to get the fuck outta here with that.
I am so fucking sick of him fucking EVERYTHING up. I can't wait for the day he's dust.
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Trump’s border wall construction cut into an ancient ground carving older than Stonehenge
An ancient ground carving that was severely damaged by the administration’s border wall construction was created before Stonehenge and Egypt’s oldest pyramid, according to recently publicized research.
The Las Playas Intaglio, a giant fish carved into the Sonoran Desert in Arizona, is now considered the oldest example in the Americas of a geoglyphic, the ancient art form that is carved into or drawn on the ground.
In April, contractors hired by the Trump administration to make way for a second wall along the Arizona-Mexico border “scraped” a 50-foot swath through the ancient carving, according to the Center for Biological Diversity, which documented the damage.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trumps-border-wall-construction-cut-ancient-ground-carving-older-stone-rcna600217