Trump Trial Watch, Week Two: No New Poots, But A Contempt Fine
Also, maybe puppy-shooting isn't the way to voters' hearts.
As Mondays go, today was a Tuesday, but I work four days a week so it was Monday for me! Also, lots of good Tabs today from Evan!
Evan also wrote about how not even Donald Trump, who actively dislikes dogs (the feeling is mutual) was impressed by Kristi Noem’s bizarre tale of canicide. Tough luck, Gov. Noem! No, please, don’t try again to demonstrate your loyalty.
Gary brought us the latest sad story of a former Trump lawyer, explaining how Kenneth Chesebro was surprised to find out that if you decide to cooperate with prosecutors, you actually have to tell them about the secret Twitter account you used to tell the Dumbest Man on the Internet how to write about your fake electors scheme. Yes, even though it was secret!
Oh, and speaking of Trump lawyers, they still have their hands full as his election interference trial enters week two, and at long last a member of his family, failson Eric, showed up in the courtroom to show that he cared. No word on what game of chance he lost to the others to get stuck with that duty.
Joe Biden’s presidency is now in real peril, according to idiot House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer, who came up with a new reason his “investigation” into Biden’s impeachment crimes haven’t actually turned up any crimes: There’s simply TOO MUCH EVIDENCE of all the crimes that Comer and team are completely buried in work trying to sort it all out.
In other news from the House of Nuts, House Democrats said today that if it came to it, yeah, they’d vote to keep Mike Johnson as Speaker because even though he’s terrible, he actually seems to want to keep the government open and stuff. Marjory Taylor Greene is super duper stomping hilarious mad about that, and you must take her seriously, no really you guys. Now it’s finally a real contest to see whether Greene can make herself even more hated by her own caucus than Ted Cruz is by his.
In 2024 campaign news, it seems that after Mehmet Oz’s loss in the 2022 election, Pennsylvania Republicans learned better than to nominate a candidate who actually lives in a mansion in New Jersey. So this year, they’re going with a guy who lives in a mansion in Connecticut.
Also, now that he’s decided he’s fine with answering all questions about abortion with “It’s up to the states,” Trump is sticking with that: States can pass whatever laws they want about abortion, including monitoring all women to see if they’re pregnant, and it’s not any of Trump’s business and he won’t weigh in on it, unless he doesn’t like it and he cuts off all government funding to them. But that’s up to them.
Also we had some crime news that was probably good news, although it also feels pretty awful, like the story of Jimmy Dennis, who was wrongly convicted of murder after cops covered up evidence. He spent 25 years in prison for the murder he did not commit, much of it in solitary confinement, but eventually he got out and has now been awarded $16 million in damages for his ordeal. Hooray, justice… took forever.
Also, we should all be glad that crime is down significantly all across the country since its peak during the pandemic, yay. But that hasn’t kept Republicans and rightwing media from constant fearmongering about crime, such that Americans say that crime is among their top issues in the election. And not in a “crime’s going down, good!” way.
Finally, some very important developments in the ongoing crisis of Republicans not finding enough things to be angry at Joe Biden about, Newsmax host Eric Bolling has the evidence that will finally force Biden to leave office: Biden ate a salad, and he ate it on TV, probably in the wrong way to eat salad, and that proves he is unfit. The madman may go on to pet another dog, or even have ice cream, too.
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In higher, brighter, mental health benefit news the Biden administration has continued to follow up on campaign promises made in the lead up to the '20 election for legalization of marijuana at the Federal level! Some idiot on MSM claimed he was doing it in an election year (now) to appeal to young voters, the Covid fog must still be affecting some who can't remember jack shit about '20, the hellscape of the Country under tfg with Biden to the rescue running on student loan relief (check) and legalizing weed (check) = Biden delivers. 💙
I like the idea of convicted felons being salaried $650,000 a year. I mean, honestly, that is how well I regard our police.