Trump's UFC Bouncy House Battle Brawl Saved America, Triggered Libs. VICTORY!
The night's big winner, on seeing a copy of the Declaration of Independence: 'Their language was different. I’m not smart enough to read that.'
Donald Trump’s big bouncy-house birthday bloodsport party Sunday night did a wonderful thing, according to Dear Leader’s most fervent online fluffers: the spectacle united Americans in love of their country, made clear that America Is Back, and was also a much-needed poke in the eye to the snooty elitists who are completely out of touch with Real America.
Sweaty Men Pounding Each Other Restored American Pride
Here’s Super Patriot Glenn Beck (admittedly, not exactly in the forefront of rightwing thought leaders, but he’d love to make a comeback) gushing about how the UFC spectacle was absolutely not like the Roman circuses, because those spectacles were a distraction from the failures of the Empire, while the UFC fights were actually the American People celebrating America’s 250th birthday and our innate wonderfulness! Or at least the American People celebrated through their appointed representatives, the filthy rich entertainment conglomerate Paramount Skydance and the UFC, both of which are favorites of Great Leader.
Another big difference between the Roman approach to distracting the people with bread and circuses and the Trump approach is that bread prices keep increasing, and if you wanted to see the circus you had to be a Paramount+ subscriber.
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In a similar vein, TPUSA CEO Erika Kirk explained that the whole point of the UFC show was to demonstrate to America-hating commie libs that the White House once again belongs to the American People, or at least to the corporate entities Donald Trump favors, which really is the same thing! You elitist commies who thought it was OK for Barack Obama’s birthday to feature a Hip-Hop BBQ that created no jobs have now all been put in your place! As Kirk explained, Democrats hate ordinary folks and want to impose government on them, while Donald Trump wants us all to feel like we’re at home in the White House, especially if we donate a few million bucks to his super PAC.
We do have to wonder a bit at her contention that “Turning the White House into a place of celebration, culture, and public engagement […] strips away the myth that government is something distant and above the American people,” because we thought the official line is that government is in fact evil and must be eliminated or resisted.
The other thing to remember about the White House, which belongs to The American People, is that Donald Trump can tear down any part of it he wants to, because he got a plurality of the vote in 2024, making him king of the American People and the embodiment of our wishes. If he wants something, obviously we do too.
But for pure patriotic glurge, it would be hard to beat the outpourings of (former?) unwitting (?) Russian agent Benny Johnson, who declared the Culture Wars finally over, because Donald Trump won them Sunday night, with fireworks and kickwrasslin’. The only thing these dweebs like more than fretting about how libs are destroying American culture is proclaiming that in fact the Right has finally, decisively prevailed.
![Johnson: I recorded this at 2AM when I got back to my hotel room… My raw reaction to witnessing UFC at the White House is this: Patriots have taken back culture. We are the culture. The White House brought rappers, actors, comedians, rock stars, tech billionaires and world leaders together to stand shoulder to shoulder with the enlisted military who protect us all, celebrating the the honor, unity, Godliness, bravery and violent combat that built this country. To see the American fighter magnified and glorified again under the roaring jets of B-2 bombers and cheering cadets. Man, that is the USA. The left has no answer to this. Nothing. Take away their ability to control culture and they collapse. We all know a President Kamala would have replaced last night’s masculine demonstration of patriotism with a drag show featuring child predators and angry scolding speeches from DEI hires. America chose the Patriot path, instead. Trump brought back the Colosseum to Western Civilization in the greatest sporting event in U.S. history. We have taken back culture. Patriots in Control [9:27 PM][flag emoji]](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DGFe!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd617db35-3cb1-45ef-8960-477b3528cbda_601x710.jpeg "Johnson: I recorded this at 2AM when I got back to my hotel room… My raw reaction to witnessing UFC at the White House is this: Patriots have taken back culture. We are the culture. The White House brought rappers, actors, comedians, rock stars, tech billionaires and world leaders together to stand shoulder to shoulder with the enlisted military who protect us all, celebrating the the honor, unity, Godliness, bravery and violent combat that built this country. To see the American fighter magnified and glorified again under the roaring jets of B-2 bombers and cheering cadets. Man, that is the USA. The left has no answer to this. Nothing. Take away their ability to control culture and they collapse. We all know a President Kamala would have replaced last night’s masculine demonstration of patriotism with a drag show featuring child predators and angry scolding speeches from DEI hires. America chose the Patriot path, instead. Trump brought back the Colosseum to Western Civilization in the greatest sporting event in U.S. history. We have taken back culture. Patriots in Control [9:27 PM][flag emoji]")
Surely no one has ever gone wrong proclaiming their political movement will last a thousand years, huh?
“Libtards have no answer, and have been set back one thousand years by the America 250 celebration,” he crowed in the attached video, marveling that the spectacle was “the greatest sporting event in the history of our country and maybe the world.” And that was just in the first 40 seconds. He went on to say that the history-changing event meant that patriots are now in control, and no one can dispute that simple fact. I’ll admit, I couldn’t watch it much beyond the second minute, in deference to my brain cells.
Also, those were Navy F/A-18s and Air Force F-16s, not B-2 bombers, you dipshit. (Near the end of the night, there was also a flyover by B-1 bombers from DyessAFB. They were also not B-2s.)
Johnson also offered, in another tweet, this completely factual summary of what a great 250th anniversary our nation has had under Trump.
America’s 250th birthday year so far:
Trump won the war with Iran.
UFC came to the White House lawn.
USA is hosting FIFA.
The S&P 500 is on track to close the year above 8,000.
Gas is going down. Jobs are up. The flag is flying high.
This is the greatest comeback story in human history.
We’ve won the culture war.
God bless this beautiful country [American flag emoji]
Really, everything is pretty much perfect!
Oh, sure, a few sourpusses in the replies dared suggest that maybe Trump didn’t win the Iran War, but he’s giving them far more money than Obama did, and if a bigger payout isn’t victory, what is? Somebody sure came out on top, and it’s awfully petty to split hairs about who it was.
The American People Have Spoken!
Despite the confident declarations of victory by Trumpfluffers, it turns out that outside the Chudbubble, the whole silly mess didn’t meet with rave reviews. In advance of the event, a June 11 Reuters/Ipsos poll found only 16 percent of Americans approved of the event. Forty-six percent said they thought it was inappropriate, and the rest either said it was neither appropriate nor inappropriate (23 percent) or that they they were “unsure” (15 percent).
So when you put approval and complete indifference together, that’s a huge win for Trump! That’s the genius of the man, and how he got elected twice.
Even among Republicans, only 31 percent thought it was “appropriate,” while the largest result, 36 percent, went with “neither.” Seventy-five percent of Democrats and 45 percent of independents said it was not appropriate.
Chud Bigot Says ‘Michelle Obama’s A MAN,’ MAGA Nation Swoons
In a post-fight interview with Joe Rogan, heavyweight fighter Josh Hokit did his part to bring dignity and greatness back to America by dragging out an old dumb conspiracy theory, praising Trump for “having the balls to put shit like this on,” and closing with “And lastly, Michelle Obama is a man. Am I right, America?” The crowd cheered, and Trump himself apparently smiled, says CNN.
UFC CEO Dana White offered the mildest possible rebuke of the comment, texting Time magazine Monday to say, “I understand that the Obamas are public figures but I’m completely against saying nasty and false things about people’s families. Everyone knows my position on free speech but I hate that kind of nonsense.” So far at least, Hokit doesn’t appear to have been sanctioned by UFC in any way.
MAGA assholes love it, though, because it’s really funny to call Michelle Obama a dude, and it owns the libs. On Fox News, Greg Gutfeld explained that this is just the best stuff ever, because there is zero difference between politics and kayfabe, like how Hokit at the weigh-in pretended to be drunk and to “throw up” on himself (probably spitting applesauce on his chest). Hokit also said, very not racistly, “So what, maybe I was drinking last night. Who wouldn't be? I have a giant black man that wants to knock me out.”
Besides, Gutfeld went on in a careful explanation unrelated things righties get mad about, the Left is far worse and has said mean things about Melania! Plus, something something Graham Platner! Hokit’s attack on Michelle Obama was both completely justified pushback against a host of all the things the Right is mad about, but also it was merely harmless trolling because wingnuts don’t care what you people think.
It was a very well-thought-out defense.
GUTFELD: Hell, I seem to remember, not too long ago, how often I heard that Melania Trump was an escort — and from a lot of people who are now “oh, oh, oh!” huffing and huffing. People who say that a Black kid who stabs a White kid, that was just him defending himself. People faking Charlie Kirk getting stabbed in the neck, thinking it’s funny. People hoping for another Luigi Mangioni to take out Elon Musk or perhaps Trump or maybe both!
Another thing: Greg’s not mad. Please don’t put in the newspaper that Greg got mad.
Gutfeld continued, explaining why the Right has patiently borne the thousand injuries of the Left without even complaining once, and so when some wrassler says Michelle Obama has a dick, that’s actually just fine, and not even offensive.
GUTFELD: See, we don’t have to listen. In fact, we enjoy it when you’re upset.
That guy is a troll. He showed up at the weigh-in pretending he was drunk and was throwing up applesauce as a fake pretense because he was pretending he was scared. That’s called a troll. We get it. Not our fault if you don’t. He knows it’s going to upset you. He’s a troll! You give a mic to a troll?
Mr. Gutfeld seems a little unclear about who gave Hokit a mic.
In conclusion, thank God Donald Trump has brought back American greatness, for all sixteen percent of Americans who think we should have these spectacles at the White House all the time, and if you don’t like it maybe you’re the problem.
Oh, and did we mention that in addition to their regular pay for the event, some of the fighters got bonuses in the form of the Trump family’s very own cryptocurrency, World Liberty Financial, which was one of the event’s official sponsors? This was a very high-profile promotion for the fake Trumpmoney, but is absolutely not a conflict of interest because the White House says it isn’t, the end.
OPEN THREAD.
[Reuters/Ipsos poll / CNN / NYT / Mediaite / Guardian]
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The power is back on!
Exactly 48 hours since the storm took it out.
Just waiting to get internet back.
I restarted the modem and router.
UPDATE:
Internet back!!
I am back on my beloved Dell desktop, a flashlight is no longer needed to use the bathroom- putting contacts in by flashlight is hard btw, can take a hot shower, got cold soda and icy vodka, I can use my fan for sleeping.
Although I think I will keep using the battery powered radio, because WCNX ROCKS (CORRECTION, WNCX) , it plays everything from the Cars, to Led Zepp, to Nirvana to Megadeath.
Also heard that the blood I donated 3 weeks ago was sent to help a patient in Bloomington, IN.
Went roller skating.
It ended up being a good day after a couple of sucky ones.
I will get groceries tomorrow, starting with a clean fridge, looking on the bright side!