White House Dementia Care Unit Lets Trump Write Walk Of Fame Plaques All By Himself!
It's good for him to have activities.
Last night, a dementia-addled loser interrupted the season finale of Survivor to yell at Americans in all caps for 20 minutes for not being sufficiently grateful for his tariffs and his elimination of mandatory transgender for everyone and their peasant obsession with “affordability” and “groceries.” He lied each time he breathed, and they were stupid lies, lies even the inbred pigs who still count themselves as part of the 36 percent who approve of him could tell are lies. (Maybe. They’re as stupid as he is, so maybe not.)
We sure hope Susie Wiles didn’t sign on to that speech, because it might tarnish the image of woRdL’s sMarTesT PolITiCaL oPreratTor that she was so desperately trying to cultivate in those Vanity Fair interviews. (Topic for discussion: What if Susie Wiles is actually a total dumbass, which is exactly what she looks like in the pictures that accompany the article?)
We have no reason to talk any further about his speech. It was dumb as shit. Everybody is laughing at it. We were at a concert at the time, and we opened up the internet afterward to see that the general consensus was that it was totally unnecessary for Trump to postpone his evening diarrheas for that — he could have just delivered the speech atop the toilet on Truth Social, like every other night — and that in comparison, Pete Hegseth’s preening Viagra overdose in front of the generals was the goddamned Gettysburg Address.
We want to talk about something else that’s actually related, because there’s a whole lot about last night’s speech that screams “keeping the patient comfortable,” and really, that’s the emerging story of his entire second failed presidency.
They’re putting up comforting, garish gold lettering to label rooms for Straight Liberace, so he knows where he is, and they’re repaving the Rose Garden to make him feel like he’s on his own patio at Mar-a-Lago, or maybe at a Panera off the interstate. They’re letting him bulldoze entire sections of the building so he can have a comforting ballroom. Why, at this rate, they might let him build a replica of that ugly bathroom at Mar-a-Lago, for the storing of the classified documents he’s actually allowed to have this time!
And then news broke yesterday that, in what they’re calling Trump’s Presidential Walk of Fame, they’ve put up new plaques underneath all the different presidential portraits, to better reflect President Poopsmells and his various sad loser grievances.
It’s of course horribly offensive. If you look at the picture above you can see that of course they’re putting up garish cheap Home Depot shit atop each portrait, haphazardly and far too much. You can tell he’s designing this himself, because it’s like A Beautiful Mind, except instead of math equations, it’s just cheap, tacky gold shit smeared everywhere, like the president has been playing with his turds inside a bucket of gold glitter in a marble columns showroom off the New Jersey turnpike and now he’s fingerpainting.
But before you get all offended by what the plaques say — don’t worry, you’ll have that chance in a second — please understand that this story is of the same genre as the other stories about turning the White House into a facility where Trump can hospice in place while his brain fully completes its conversion into expired pudding.
How do we know? Because of this dispatch from Mark Guiducci, the Vanity Fair global editorial director, commenting on the Susie Wiles story and photoshoot, and Christopher Anderson, the Vanity Fair photographer who did that Susie Wiles shoot, this little tidbit was also in the news yesterday:
Go ahead, embiggen that second shot.
“Wiles's executive assistant informed us that we would not be allowed to photograph either the ‘Presidential Walk of Fame’ or the Rose Garden, as we’d asked. ‘Those are very special to the president,’ she said. ‘They’re his spaces.’ Actually, I wanted to remind her, they’re not.”
Point to Guiducci, but that tells the real story of this so-called Presidential Walk of Fame. It’s one of the spaces in the White House that’s meant to make Trump feel comfortable while his body rots in place. It helps distract him, calms him, helps him nurse his grievances, helps him understand where he is.
You can imagine him slurring at Karoline Leavitt and asking her to take him down the hall so she can read aloud to him his plaques about himself, about Sleepy Joe Biden and about Barack Hussein Community Organizer Obama.
That’s what this is.
Speaking of Leavitt, you can tell Nazi Fillers Barbie was sneering when she crafted this statement:
“The plaques are eloquently written descriptions of each President and the legacy they left behind,” White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt said in a statement describing the installation in the colonnade that runs from the West Wing to the residence. “As a student of history, many were written directly by the President himself.”
You know how you can tell he wrote them himself? Because they feature the third-grade reading level and dementia-fied grammar and capitalizations so common in his toilet tweets.
You know how else you can tell? Because the “student of history” doesn’t have much to say about presidents who haven’t personally made his dick feel incredibly small. Or as the AP puts it:
The broadsides dissipate the further back into history the plaques go.
Uh huh. We guess he just hasn’t finished brushing up on all the history required to finish writing all the other presidents’ plaques.
But anyway, about those eloquently written descriptions, for example Joe Biden! Haw haw haw! It doesn’t have a picture of Joe Biden, just his autopen! Look at everything Biden’s plaque says!
Sleepy Joe Biden was, by far, the worst President in American History. Taking office as a result of the most corrupt Election ever seen in the United States, Biden oversaw a series of unprecedented disasters that brought our Nation to the brink of destruction. His policies caused the highest Inflation ever recorded, leading the U.S. Dollar to lose more than 20% of its value in 4 years. His Green New-Scam surrendered American Energy Dominance and, by abolishing the Southern Border, Biden let 21 million people from all over the World pour into the United States, including from prisons, jails, mental institutions, and insane asylums. His Afghanistan Disaster was among the most humiliating events in American History, and resulted in the murder of 13 brave American Servicemembers, with many others gravely wounded. Seeing Biden’s devastating weakness, Russia invaded Ukraine, and Hamas terrorists launched the heinous October 7th attack on Israel.
Nicknamed both “Sleepy” and “Crooked,” Joe Biden was dominated by his Radical Left handlers. They and their allies in the Fake News Media attempted to cover up his severe mental decline, and his unprecedented use of the Autopen. Following his humiliating debate loss to President Trump in the big June 2024 debate, he was forced to withdraw from his campaign for re-election in disgrace. Biden weaponized Law Enforcement against his political opponent, while also persecuting many other innocent people. He left office issuing blanket pardons to Radical Democrat criminals and thugs, as well as members of the Biden Crime Family-But despite it all, President Trump would get Re-Elected in a Landslide, and SAVE AMERICA!
Again, understand that these plaques are there to comfort Donald Trump as he appears to be suffering from absolutely crippling dementia. Also, note that they feature particular and peculiar delusions specific to Donald’s rancid, diseased brain, like his 1980s Batman movie belief that countries are emptying their “insane asylums” and sending those people here, because he doesn’t know what “asylum” means.
Similarly, the Obama one says, “Barack Hussein Obama was the first Black President, a community organizer, one term Senator from Illinois, and one of the most divisive political figures in American History. As President, he passed the highly ineffective ‘Unaffordable’ Care Act, resulting in his party losing control of both Houses of Congress, and the Election of the largest House Republican majority since 1946.”
Also, “Under Obama, the ISIS Caliphate spread across the Middle East[.]”
Also, “Obama also spied on the 2016 Presidential Campaign of Donald J. Trump, and presided over the creation of the Russia, Russia, Russia Hoax, the worst political scandal in American History.”
OK, Grandpa. Whatever you need it to say.
You can see some pictures here:
The AP notes that “the introductory plaque presumes Trump’s addition will be a White House fixture once he is no longer president,” which is very funny because it does indeed presume that! Shhhhh, nobody tell Trump they’re going to rip all the gold shit down and raffle off tickets for which previously deported immigrant family gets to press the “implode” button on his ballroom, to kick off the construction of the new East Wing.
But we do hope they leave these plaques up after they bury Trump on the golf course next to Ivana, or at least transport them over to Walter Reed, so that future neurologists can study Donald Trump’s big, beautiful brain.
[AP / Vanity Fair]
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OH I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THIS SACK OF SHIT IS FUCKING DEAD!!!!
I am 100% convinced that every time one of Trump's staffers repeats "ThE bEsT iS yEt To CoMe!!!!111!1!!!" they're actually talking about his obituary.
We can but hope.