Wonkette Email of News for July 27, 2023!

I don’t know how this ended up being my job (the newsletter I mean, not Wonkette. I know how that ended up being my job, I BOUGHT IT FOR ME!), and I’m not feeling great today and I still have to do tabs and waaaah waaaaaah, here are all today’s stories.

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Your Worst Office Romance Was Never This Bad! Tabs, Thurs., July 27, 2023

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Her Name's Not Snow White Supremacist Guys

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Are College Towns Becoming ‘Republican-Killing Death Stars,’ OF VOTES?

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No, AP, We'll Call It 'X, The Platform Formerly Known As Twitter' Over Our Formerly Known As Alive Body

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Miami-Dade Police Director Shoots Self In Head, So.

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Joe Biden From The Government And Here To Help, May Ronald Reagan Rot In Hell

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BIG F*CKIN' DEAL ALERT: Biden Will Help The Hague Hold Russia Accountable For Vile War Crimes In Ukraine

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LIVE: White House Saying Words That Probably Aren't Even 'Hunter Biden'

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Joe Biden Won't Let Texas Gov Greg Abbott Declare Actual War On Mexico

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Is That A Quarter Behind Trump's Ear Or Is It About To Be Indictment-Thirty AGAIN, MFers?

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Republicans Lie Their Asses Off After Hunter Biden Plea Debacle. Also Before And During.

And finally, your open thread, which Dok just emailed you because I couldn’t get into the back end because my mobile hotspot (our internet’s been out all day) crapped out just in time for end of day so he edited Evan for me, and I said DOK YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THEM and he said BUT THE BUTTON TOLD ME TO and I said YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO IGNORE THE BUTTON DOK and he said BUT THE BUTTON IS A BULLY. So here, have it again.

I’m sorry. I feel like shit. Everything’s so hard today. Maybe I’m getting my period again. Wouldn’t that be terrific.

Angry Little White Guy Wisconsin GOP Rep. Being Very Angry Little White Guy!

Okay bye.