At Least China Wasn't Behind The Peenerballoons At Trump's Trial
It's your Wonkette roundup!
It’s probably just as well that Donald Trump’s trial in Manhattan today took a break so the Great Man could attend his son Barron’s high school graduation for at least five minutes and then fly off to a fundraiser. Yesterday, the second day of testimony from Michael Cohen, was wild, and Wonkette’s Marcie Jones was there to bring us all the WTF, including the weird helium-filled mylar peeners that were released by a weird helium-filled Trump fan as “art.” Note her headline’s attention to detail, as she uses the German spelling while riffing on Nena’s original 1983 hit.
Friday was the 70th anniversary of the landmark Brown v. Board of Education ruling, and Dok Zoom wrote about Joe Biden’s visit with some of the plaintiffs and their families, followed by Joe’s speech to mark the occasion. That moral arc of the universe needs some pushing at times.
Oh, gosh, we got ahead of ourselves and forgot to mention the morning’s news roundup, which featured a whole bunch of Tabs, as is the custom in these parts.
Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito didn’t only fly an upside-down US flag in the “distress” position right after the January 6 insurrection, now he’s blaming his wife. Swell guy!
I'm Sam Alito And I Don't Know What Possessed My Wife To 'Stop The Steal' Like A Dang Ginni Thomas!
More terrible people (it was kind of a terrible people day, to be honest): Greg Abbott pardoned a racist creep who 1) announced on social media he wanted to plow his car into a Black Lives Matter protest and maybe shoot people too, 2) plowed his car into a protest and shot a man dead, and 3) became a hero to crazy racists after he was convicted of murder. This is not good at all.
More awful people: the Kevin Spacey comeback nobody in their right mind should want, but that some very clueless celebrities do.
An entire legislative body full of terrible people: North Carolina’s Republican-controlled Senate just couldn’t stop passing terrible things this week.
STILL MORE AWFUL PEOPLE, but at least with the redeeming feature of being hilarious sex creeper pervert hypocrites.
OK, that’s almost it for the awful people, whew!
This one’s got one awful person but several excellent people not standing for it, so on balance, not-awful wins big!
It’s Friday, as we may have mentioned, so we closed out the week with excellent advice about how to better tolerate a dear friend’s goofy crystal woo-woo phase, and the obligatory cocktail from Hooper Your Bartender: it is a fruity spring wonder.
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Oh look, Substack just happened to have a stock photo of an alley cat, too! Happy Friday!
For some reason known only to my subconscious, that picture of an alley cat is set to 'Little Green Bag' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kWHalsbZLk
And mortarboarded and diploma’d young Barron takes his leave from St Aedelberth’s School for the Freakishly Tall, Go Giraffes!