CBS Not Live Factchecking VP Debate, They're Doing Something Way Stupider
CBS Not Live Factchecking VP Debate, They're Doing Something Way Stupider
And all the other details about tonight!
Tonight is the night! Kamala Harris’s running mate, Governor Coach Tim Walz of Minnesota, will go toe-to-toe with JD Vance, Donald Trump’s running mate and the senator from Peter Thiel’s grundle, and hopefully by the end of it we’ll be talking about how it was neat how we all got to watch Walz stuff Vance so far into a couch that we never have to see him anymore.
It’s happening at 9 p.m. ET on CBS News (and simulcast on all the other networks and on YouTube and streaming, etc.) and we will of course be liveblogging it here. What will we see?
Well, we won’t see any moderating, that’s for sure. CBS News has decided to be a coward and wuss out on fact-checking — kind of the only purpose of them being there, really. We guess it was so traumatic (for Donald Trump) during the ABC News debate when the moderators like eight entire times said, “No, they’re not eating the cats,” and “No, they’re not deciding whether to execute the baby,” that the CBS team just preemptively caved.
They are going to offer, though — this is really stupid, y’all, back up so the stupid doesn’t hit you in the face — a QR code that viewers can scan for live fact-checking. Isn’t that stupid? Wonder what kind of expired-meat-grade employee came up with that idea.
Claudia Milne, senior VP of standards and practices of CBS News, says that “the moderators will give them the opportunity to fact-check each other in real time.” Oh, they both get an opportunity, how nice! Because in a world where JD Vance openly admits that he makes up blood libels against immigrant communities because it encourages voters to be more sympathetic to his and Trump’s Nazi platform, JD Vance deserves a chance to “fact-check” Tim Walz in real time.
Fuck, the media is full of human table scraps.
But sure, whatever!
The moderators — maybe we should just call them “the people who sit at the table” — will be Norah O’Donnell and Margaret Brennan. The mics will be left on the whole time, but the people who sit at the table will be allowed to turn them off.
No audience, 90 minutes, two commercial breaks. One million bottles of whatever alcohol you need.
The Trump people are trying to lower expectations, of course. Trump adviser Jason Miller said that Walz is “really good” at debates, and that “[h]e’s not going to be the wildly gesticulating effeminate caricature we see at rallies.”
That’s right, Jason Miller with his tiny little butthole mouth and his permanently red cheeks and everything else we know about him, that guy is calling Tim Walz “effeminate.” Because everything is projection with MAGA guys. Everything.
Meanwhile, Trump said of the debate that Vance is “going up against a moron. A total moron, how she picked him is unbelievable.”
As far as debate prep goes, Pete Buttigieg has been playing Vance for Walz — heh — and that he did it wearing a “cheap red tie instead of camp casual attire.” It’s funny because Republicans are tacky people.
We can speculate on topics we’re likely to hear a lot about — Politico Playbook did a fine job — but we probably all know them already. We imagine Tim Walz is brushing up on that hacked oppo file of 10 (Million) Things JD Vance Hates About Donald Trump, though. And we imagine Vance will make up some truly ridiculous lies about Walz, probably accusing him of forcing transgender furries to eat Haitian litterboxes in all Minnesota classrooms or something equally plausible.
The latest polls show that everybody continues to hate JD Vance (because he’s a gross pervert) and that people like Tim Walz just fine. This may be the last debate we see before the election on November 5.
Can JD Vance turn things around? Oklahoma anger-issues hick senator Markwayne Mullin and Kremlin paycheck recipient Benny Johnson think so!
That’s some great copium, boys.
JD’s so cool, y’all are gonna fuck your OWN couch!
Meanwhile, here is a video of Tim Walz holding a cat.
We know which side we’d rather be on, and it’s not the one with the sicko fascist who wants to rent-a-cop America’s vaginas, who does not even know how to “donut” correctly.
But Vance is one of the slimiest motherfuckers in the entire country, so we won’t count our chickens until Tim Walz sticks a fork in him.
See you tonight and OPEN THREAD!
[videos via Aaron Rupar / Brandi Buchman]
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There was a joke tweet yesterday purporting to be from a (fictional) Republican praising Vance in the debate 12 hours before the debate had happened. The joke kept going, pointing out that people only had a problem with it because it was posted AM instead of PM but the Republican wouldn't change his mind just because the debate hadn't happened.
Anyway, Ross Doubthat did the same thing with his article about Vance's debate performance.
I listened on the radio which often gives a different sense than one gets from tv. on the whole I thought Vance was mainly trying to appear less crazy than we all know he is. CBS tripped up this plan several times.