Come For Rudy Giuliani's New Mugshot, Stay For His Latest Grifts And Slurs Against Fani Willis!
Enriching himself from a 9/11 charity for first responders, so on-brand.
Shall we check in on Scotch goblin Rudy Giuliani? He was last seen on this mommyblog getting served that subpoena from Arizona on his 80th birthday that he’d been ducking. What’s he been up to since, besides haunting children’s nightmares?
Well, he got booked in Arizona and a got new fresh mugshot, which really brings out his creepy leer, cigar stains on his teeth, and whatever weird things he’s got going on in the scalp department.
His creditors in bankruptcy court have discovered that surprise surprise, he’s been hiding income, from both a venture called “Rudy Coffee,” and also from a 9/11 charity, a possible clue as to why he can’t find any accountants to sign off on his cooked books.
Roodles’s creditors have asked the court to appoint a trustee to oversee his finances, which sounds like a fine idea, since he clearly never had any intention of cooperating in the bankruptcy filing that he, himself asked the court for.
His lawyer is also now claiming he has “possible” lung disease from 9/11. Though if true, it did not stop him from going to a Christian nationalist event at a Christian church and loudly calling Fani Willis a “ho.”
“I’ve got two prosecutors, Fani the ‘ho’” [pause as cheers and laughter erupt from the fine Christian audience, where children were present.] “I’m sorry,” he snotted. “Faw-nee. What is ‘Faw-nee’? Now, F-A-N-I is not Faw-nee. And I’m not calling her Fani. I could drop the ‘ho’ part if she’d just quit and go away. But to me, if you spell your name F-A-N-I, you’re ‘fanny.’”
A “ho,” slurred the man who has reportedly cheated on all three of his wives, has been sued for sexual assault and harassment, and literally dropped his pants and grabbed his junk at a woman he’d met minutes before in the Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.
Rudy’s a whole filing cabinet of despicable deeds (the fake electors, that’s a whole other entire story) but a 9/11 charity hustle seems extra-low, even for him. He had told bankruptcy court that while he is an employee of Giuliani Communications LLC, he’d been working for free, out of the goodness of his Christian heart. Shocker, total lie! He’s been getting $16,300 per month from it for his internet show, mostly from the Stephen Siller Tunnel to Towers Foundation, which was set up in honor of the firefighter from Brooklyn who was a father of five and only 34 when he died during the collapse of the South Tower. The charity advertises itself as supporting first-responder and Gold Star families. Wonder how those donors and families feel about the money going to keep Rudy in scotch and fountain pens while he sits in a $3.5 million condo?
Rudy also gets $43,000 a month from his retirement accounts, yet $711,600 a year is somehow still not enough for him to live on. Maybe Andrew needs braces? And as if all of the other scammery wasn’t enough, he got busted hiding a bizarro coffee venture from his creditors, who only heard about it from social media from his doofy ad. The Rudy Coffee brand launched in May, with three blends: “Fighting for Justice,” “Enjoying Life” and “America’s Mayor,” Mmm, the smooth, rich flavor of an old spittoon!
What in the CGI is that background, is that Katie Britt’s kitchen?
As it turns out, the company he partnered with, Burke Brands, is also in bankruptcy. Maybe they can recommend him an accountant? Here’s the Daily Beast brewing up smooth and rich coffee puns:
And the news soon percolated into the [bankruptcy] courtroom, as five days following the video posting, attorneys for the mayor’s creditors subpoenaed Burke Brands and demanded they spill the beans about the deal. Four days after that, the same lawyers filed a ream of documents that included the inked agreement between the ex-mayor and the roastery, which explicitly stated “Giuliani will be entitled to 80% of net profit of each sale of Rudy Coffee.” The money will pour into a Missouri-based bank account for Giuliani Communications LLC, according to the accord.
Further, the April 23 contract estimates that every 32-ounce bag of coffee will mean $5.039 in green, while a four-pound bag will grind out $10.285 in profit, and the biggest 76 ounce sack will net $14.284.
Enjoying life, you bet he is! His creditors are also wondering if he’s getting paid by NewsMax, or if he’s also been appearing there out of Christian charity, too.
So many creditors, and potential creditors for the Juan Valdez of Trumpistan! There’s the $148 million he owes to election workers Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, for fabricating racist lies that ruined their careers and got them driven from their homes with violent threats. Also his other pending lawsuits: Dominion Voting Systems wants $1.3 billion for all the election fraud lies; former assistant Noelle Dunphy, whose accusations include rape, is suing for $2 million (read the details yourself if you want, ugh); his lawyer Robert Costello who claims Rudy owes him $1.4 million; and Hunter Biden is suing Rudy and Costello, too, for that laptop bullshit.
Does Rudy give a fuck? You know he doesn’t. He’s 80 years old, and apparently plans to grift and spend every last nickel he can before he’s ready for the Four Seasons crematorium. He didn’t care about his kids while he was married to their mom and catting around, and he sure as shit isn’t going to worry about leaving them a nest egg now.
Scotch don’t drink itself!
[New York Times / Daily Beast / AP]
Rudy Coffee : "It's ghouled to the last drop!"
I’m just glad I’m around to see this fool’s life crumble into ash.