Hey, a change from song lyrics to Willa Cather references. Maybe tomorrow it’ll be a My Little Pony gag and we’ll all be safely back in 2010.
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The day began with Tabs and JD Vance’s new nickname, “Low-T JD.” Also a gif of single-celled wrasslin’ organisms.
Speaking of non-sentient single-celled organisms, here’s a story about Ken Paxton.
Speaking of simple organisms that live only by reflexive reactions, here’s a story about White House comms weirdos freaking out because Jack Smith went to a concert wearing a “No Kings” t-shirt, which means we must cancel elections forever.
Speaking of terrible people, here’s a story about Megyn Kelly attacking the victim of a gang rape for ruining the lives of the nice young Cornell men who have so far suffered no consequences other than “write an essay.”
Speaking of people we wish we’d stop hearing about forever, Sam Alito has a “new” book out, a collection of speeches in which he calls same-sex marriage a “decisive” turn against “religious liberty” because now people who hate LGBTQ+ people are forced into silence except when they publish bestselling books about how oppressed they are.
And finally, speaking of people who you forgot were still around until you learned they died, Jim Bakker is now one of them.
Yr Wonkette loves you and Willa Cather, or maybe we mean Eudora Welty. Both really.