Dumb Turkey Rudy Giuliani Has 99 Self-Made Problems, And He Is All Of Them
Gobble gobble dumb turkey.
Christmas is coming, but it feels like it’s here already, because there is a Roodles update! That pants-dropping Scotch-soaked troll is a gift to yr Wonkette, because everything he does is so comically awful.
Okay, yes, it is not funny at all how he has completely ruined the lives of Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, the two Georgia elections workers who were happily living their lives and minding their own business when he decided to defame them with his racist election-stealing lies. Nor is it hilarious how they will never work again because the notoriety and harassment he bestowed upon them make them pretty much unemployable, not to mention how they will spend the rest of their lives being dogged by an army of MAGA trolls. That part sucks balls, and whatever amount they get from him will never be enough to give them back their lives.
But, this dumb turkey and his self-made problems!
When we last left off, his lawyers had quit him, on account of unspecified “professional ethics” concerns, ahem. But now he’s got a new lawyer, a divorce lawyer and former police officer from Staten Island named Joe Cammarata! And while el Roodles hired Joe from Staten Island to arglebargle in New York that the case should be postponed because of his ever-so-important social engagements, and also for his DC Circuit appeal on the merits, he apparently did not hire Joe the divorce lawyer for the second defamation action he has in DC, for contempt. For that one, he appears to be representing himself. Or not representing himself, as it were!
PREVIOUSLY!
The action was an injunction filed by Freeman and Moss’s lawyers last December, because America’s Mayor™ can’t stop, won’t stop, defaming them. It got put on pause after he filed his bullshit bankruptcy motion, which he ended up withdrawing after refusing to cooperate in his own bankruptcy which he asked for, and being on the verge of getting kicked out of court by the judge’s size 12 Florsheim. So now Rudy is liquidating, and the pause got mooted when he consented to STFU. But of course he is still defaming Freeman and Moss anyway, constantly, to anybody who will listen to a “quadruple-counting votes” rant on the courthouse steps, or on his MyPillowGuy-sponsored podcast.
So on November 20, Judge Beryl Howell warned Rudy but good that if he failed to respond by this past Monday, December 2, the court would consider it “conceding” Freeman and Moss's motion for contempt and would invite them to pick appropriate sanctions. And, fail to respond he did. So now he’s ordered to be back in DC December 12, and the court can attach assets that would otherwise be judgment-proof in the collection action. Like some of that $43,000 a month he gets from his retirement funds and Social Security? We shall see!
Meanwhile, back in New York last week, Goodles lost his shit in court again. While he has finally turned over Lauren Bacall’s car, he did not turn over the keys, or the title, which he claimed he just couldn’t find. And the judge was like, you were a US Attorney, you can’t figure out how to get a copy of the title for a car? Which triggered Rudy to interrupt the judge and start hollering that he’d applied for one, but it hadn’t come yet. “I did apply for it! The implication I’ve been not diligent about it is totally incorrect, the implication you make is against me and every implication against me is wrong! I have no car, no credit card, no cash, everything I have is tied up, they have put stop orders on my business accounts, and I can’t pay my bills!”
(Note that the Florida DMV says a duplicate title takes five working days, and Rudy was ordered to turn over the title more than a month ago.)
The screaming led to some amazing courtroom sketches by the inimitable Jane Rosenberg, as also seen above. Check her describing his blurty, interrupty loony behavior on CNN, with a slideshow.
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Anyway, we repeat, Rudy gets $43,000 a month from his retirement accounts. And he does not have a driver’s license, so therefore doesn’t need a car. All of those Uber rides are part of how he somehow managed to spend $120,000 in just one month last January.
The judge (who is a Trump appointee, by the way) told Rudy to STFU, and, “next time, he’s not going to be permitted to speak, and the court will take action.” Promises, promises!
So, what next? Freeman and Moss did get his watches, or at least some of them, and their lawyers found his storage unit in Ronkonkoma, though a facilities spokesman calling himself “Joe the Box” posted, then deleted, a “a defiant video on X in which he expressed support for Mr. Giuliani and said he would not stand for someone to ‘dissect’ the former mayor’s life.” Roodles has until December 13 to account for his property and deliver it to a facility of Moss and Freeman’s choice. Though he still has not turned over the paperwork for his New York condo, which has been complicated by his ex-wife Judith’s name still being on it. In jail like yesterday would have been more satisfying, but Judge Liman is apparently a patient man.
Then January 16 he has another trial in New York about his Florida condo and those World Series rings his chimpy son claims that Rudy gifted him. And no, Trump can’t pardon him or get him out of this mess. Maybe he will appoint him ambassador to Italy?
[Law & Chaos podcast/ Andrew Torrez on Bluesky/ New York Times archive link]
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Rudy's getting $516,000 per year, and some part of that is very likely tax-free. The judge needs to lien all but about $2000 per week. He can keep 20% and he can learn to live with his somewhat diminished circumstance. Shit happens, Rudy. You done fucked up.
Why doesn't Rudy just jettison all the crap, go live in a 3 bedroom rental in The Villages, get himself a golf cart, with flags, and hold court at a bar every day at 3pm? He would be a god among mere mortals.