Horny Tennessee Congressman Divorces Wife After Discovering Fountain Of Youth (A Much Younger Woman)

How do all these sex scandals this week keep involving Republicans, huh?

Simply irresistible.

This week has seen so many weird sex scandals about Republican gubernatorial candidates writing very graphic sex fantasies on Internet porn sites and Republican congressmen chasing underage booty and reporters sexting with one of the highest-profile and much older supporters of the Republican presidential candidate that we almost missed another Republican congressman blowing up his long marriage because he was knocking boots with a woman in Washington 27 years his junior. Let’s rectify that slip-up. Our slip-up, not his.

Mark Green is a third-term Tennessee congressman of heretofore undistinguished accomplishment while in Congress, where he was sent to fill the seat of Marsha Blackburn when she was elected to the (United States!) Senate. In August he filed for divorce from his wife of 35 years, Camilla, citing that old chestnut, irreconcilable differences.

What are those irreconcilable differences? Well, if you believe his soon-to-be-ex wife, it is that Green wants to run around Sodom-on-the-Potomac drinking and carousing and chasing younger women like a common Kappa Alpha while continuing to sell himself to the public as a good Christian conservative, and she would prefer that he not do that.

The story burst into the public eye a week ago when Camilla Green revealed her husband’s affair with the 32-year-old woman in a series of text messages to acquaintances. She wrote that her husband was “living life greatly deceived,” and that she had “offered reconciliation, and he wants nothing of it.” She also wrote that “Satan has rewritten our marriage in his mind.”

The stories we’ve seen so far have been a bit unclear, but the acquaintances who received this text may have been other congressional wives. We base this on the messages having apparently circulated amongst lawmakers and also that Green told the original recipients she wanted “to make others aware of how readily available ‘predators’ are for our husbands. If my story can prevent this tragedy from happening to someone else, I will tell it.”

“Our husbands” seems like a tell that possibly has Mark Green’s colleagues scrubbing all text messages from their phones.

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ANOTHER GROSS STORY THAT YOU COULD READ!

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“Predators” is an interesting way of deflecting blame for the affair from her husband, who after all is a 59-year-old family man with agency. Also it is 2024 and at least some parts of society have learned to not automatically blame age-inappropriate affairs on the younger jezebels who tempted the powerful husbands into sin. We’re not in the era of Jay Leno making nightly Monica Lewinsky jokes, thankfully.

Note that Green so far had blamed “Satan” and female “predators” for her husband’s actions, when the simpler explanation — he’s a man — is staring her right in the face.

Camilla Green also accused a 32-year-old reporter at Axios of being her husband’s mistress. This prompted lawyers for the outlet to write her a cease-and-desist letter informing her that she had gotten the wrong woman. Camilla later apologized to the still-anonymous reporter, admitting that she had misidentified both the woman and her employer. (The real mistress reportedly works in politics, but has not been publicly identified.)

Though the mistake was eerily similar in outline to the other gross sex scandal we have been reading about on Friday about a young journalist in her early 30s having an affair with an older married politician. Sure, the name of the journalist, the journalist’s employer, and the older married politician’s identity were different, but otherwise the story fit the general outline.

Really makes you wonder how much of this kind of stuff is happening in Washington at all times. Ha ha, no it doesn’t, many people in national politics are over-sexed amoral sociopaths with expense accounts and no end of therapy-worthy character defects. We didn’t need House of Cards to tell us that.

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ALSO THIS GROSS THING.

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Green’s daughter Catherine also weighed in, saying that the family had noticed a marked shift in Mark Green’s behavior over the last year and a half and said politics was a negative influence on her father:

“Over the last year and a half, two years, we’ve really noticed a difference in him. So who knows if that’s just the toxic environment that is D.C., but something has changed,” Catherine said. […] Catherine described her father as increasingly “self-centered” and aloof, noting a lack of communication and disinterest in family activities over Christmas.

One irony here is that Green, a Donald Trump supporter whom President Brainworms nominated to be Secretary of the Army before he ran for Congress, had announced early this year that he was retiring. Then after a few weeks of lobbying from the former president, among others (including possibly his mistress, we wonder if she might not have been thrilled about his returning to Nashville), he changed his mind.

Tennessee’s Seventh is a deep red district, and Green is expected to roll right over whatever roadkill the Democrats put on the ballot to run against him. And then, with his marriage behind him, it’s look out, ladies of DC.

All together now: Ewwwwwwwww.

[Nashville Banner]

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