Hunter Biden Transcript Is Smoking Gun That House Republicans Are Biggest Buffoons In US American History

Yeah we read it. And oh my God.

We already knew the decision by House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer to bring in Hunter Biden for a closed-door deposition quickly turned into a real dick-stapling competition against himself, with himself forecasted to lose.

When Comer, Jim Jordan, and the other one went on Hannity that night for their performance review, Comer and the other one boldly declared that on a scale of one to 10, Hunter’s testimony was an eight, in terms of how damaging it was to him. Bless their hearts, we thought, because we know Comer’s track record for, you know, everything.

It was quickly pointed out that Comer wasn’t there for much of the deposition, didn’t ask questions, and that the other one — fine, his name is Jason Smith, he’s the chair of Ways and Means, look he’s so unimportant you already forgot it again — wasn’t even present.

But whatever. Maybe it was SMOKING GUNNNNNN.

Maybe they unzipped Hunter’s religion right on down and whoa nelly there was his penis, defiant as ever.

Well now we’ve read the transcript. All of it.

Below are some highlights — strap in! — and by the end you’ll see why James Comer is a blue ribbon prize-winning Kentucky fried pigfuck who never should have been released from the set of Deliverance.

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When Eric Swalwell asked the right question.

The hearing hadn’t even gotten going, but Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell wanted to make sure Jimmy Crack Comer wasn’t going to stick the transcript up his ass so he could just go on Fox and lie about what happened. He said Comer has 91 transcripts buried up there. Somebody answered that it should come out within a day, God willin’.

And Swalwell asked: “In English or Russian?”

So that set the scene.

Hunter Biden also set the scene a moment later when, during his opening statement, he called the Republicans Russian dupes to their faces, since their star witness is in jail right now for feeding lies to the FBI which were fed to him by Russian spies.

When Hunter kept explaining that just because his dad might have eaten spaghetti near somebody, that is neither ‘bribe’ nor ‘impeachable.’

Hunter said 1,000 ways, 1,000 times, that his dad had zero to do with his business, never did, never would, never profited, never did any favors for anybody Hunter did business with, nada.

He said, “If you want to question my business, if you want to question the business that I do, then we can talk about my business. But what does that have to do with an impeachment inquiry?”

But the Republicans were just obsessed with every time somebody Hunter worked with might have come somewhere near his father, especially while eating food.

For example, they badgered Hunter about how many times he ate at Cafe Milano in Washington, and with whom. Did his dad eat there sometimes, and did his father do CORRUPTION there? Hunter explained:

HUNTER: I had many dinners at Cafe Milano. Many of them were social. Many of them were family. Many of them were a combination of social, family, and business.

And so it would not be rare for my dad to call me and say, what are you doing, because between the White House and the Vice President's residence, literally, Cafe Milano is kind of equidistant. It's, from the back gate -- there's a back gate --

QUESTIONER: Uh-huh.

HUNTER: to the VP's residence. And if my mom wasn't there or if my mom was home in Delaware, he would, you know, stop and have a bowl of spaghetti with me or whoever I was sitting with.

QUESTIONER: Okay. How often did your dad do that? Like, how many times do you remember that happening?

Oh my fucking God.

HUNTER: I can't count the number of times my dad stopped to have dinner with me and my family. He would stop over at my house and have dinner with me and my children.

Because he’s his goddamned father and their grandfather, Jesus fucking Christ. And here’s the part they won’t understand, but: He loves them.

That’s but one example. It came up again and again.

Indeed, Hunter occasionally buying his dad dinner, or paying the pool guy, was basically all the evidence Matt Gaetz needed to accuse the Bidens of taking part in “international bribes.” After a bizarre back-and-forth where Gaetz demanded Hunter tell him how many times he had ever paid for something — anything! — for his father, this exchange happened:

GAETZ: so it sounds like your finances were pretty interwoven.

HUNTER’S LAWYER ABBE LOWELL: Will the record show that we're all laughing?

HUNTER: I mean, are you kidding me? No. I don't -- again --

GAETZ: So do you --

HUNTER: I'm sorry, Mr. Gaetz, I'll take you seriously. And it's hard to do --

LOWELL: Why would you do that?

HUNTER: -- but I will. I will take you seriously, but it's hard to do.

So saith us all.

When he kept mentioning Jared Kushner.

“Unlike Jared Kushner, I’ve never received money from a foreign government,” said Hunter.

After explaining for the millionth time that his dad was never involved in any of his businesses — and telling the Republicans forthrightly that they fully know that — he mentioned Jared again:

HUNTER: You know all of those things. But you look at one text message out of context. And when I say, Hey, my dad's going to be in town. He's also visiting my daughter, I'm going to have lunch, maybe we'll all get to see each other, because it's also with my uncle, I'd love him to meet my new partner, you say there's something wrong with that?

I really mean it. He's out of office.

QUESTIONER: I mean, I think it raises questions.

HUNTER: No, he's out of office. You're saying he can't do that. So when you -- when Jared Kushner flies over to Saudi Arabia, picks up $2 billion, comes back, and puts it in his pocket, okay, and he is running for President of the United States, you guys have any problem with that?

A couple of them sort of pretended like maybe they did, but you know they don’t.

Later, while playing Skee-Ball with Harriet Hageman’s brain — she’s the bug-eyed clownfart who replaced Liz Cheney — when she accused him of “work[ing] for” foreign countries and he said he hadn’t, she merely said, “Okay.” To which he replied:

HUNTER: No, no, no, no, no, no. Not "okay." I never worked for a country. I am not Jared Kushner. I never got money from a country. Not one foreign government ever gave me money, guys -- none, zero, not one.

What he means is go fuck yourself.

The parts where Hunter debunked Russian propaganda right to the Russian Republican dupes’ faces.

Who wants some long debunked Russian/Republican lies about Joe Biden firing Ukrainian prosecutors as a favor to Hunter and Burisma? Because the mouthbreathing Republican questioner literally asked those questions directly to Hunter. How utterly humiliating for them.

QUESTIONER: But [Burisma CEO Mykola] Zlochevsky, at the time, was under investigation by the prosecutor general in Ukraine, Mr. Viktor Shokin.

HUNTER: In 2015? No, that's the exact opposite of the truth. And I think you can go to, I don't know, maybe 15,000 public reports. And you can talk to the IMF, and you can talk to the -- you can talk to the World Bank. And you can talk to the EU, the EU Commission on Energy and the EU Commission as it related to democracy.

And you can talk to the State Department, or any State Department official that testified before your committee, Mr. Jordan, or when you were impeachment. And they can say the exact opposite.

Is that clear?

Five seconds later, in case it wasn’t:

HUNTER: So I guess the most important point that I'd like to add and for once and for all here is that we can all agree is that there is not a single person other than Alexander Smirnov who says that Shokin, that Shokin was fired because I was on the board of Burisma.

It's literally the exact opposite, and that has been a fact now since it was first claimed. It is a fact. I'm telling you. It is a fact.

And I would really like you all to either look at -- look at every single report that's out there. Look at what Mr. -- President Poroshenko said.

President Poroshenko, Viktor Shokin is the godfather to his child. President Poroshenko came out against Viktor Shokin and said everything he said is a lie. It's the exact opposite was true. Godson to his child, he went on national television here in the United States and said everything is a lie.

We remember when Poroshenko did that. It was on Fox News. He made Brian Kilmeade look like a real idiot that day!

The part where Hunter exposed Republicans for the fucking ghouls they are.

There was a bunch more — for instance, Hunter really made the Republicans look like asses over their obsessions with their ever-rotating cast of new SMOKING GUN! witnesses. For example, Tony Bobulinski, whom he called “a bitter, bitter man that did not get in on a deal that he wanted to get in on, because I thought that he was both incompetent and an idiot.” In fact, much of the second half was devoted to debunking the testimony of that creeper.

And he kept getting in their faces about why these MAGA traitors trust spies covered in Russian jizz more than they trust the FBI.

And there were many more hilarious exchanges with Republican congressmen who appear both physically and mentally to have been repeatedly dropped on their heads as children, like Matt Gaetz. This one is getting a lot of attention:

GAETZ: Were you on drugs when you were on the Burisma board?

HUNTER: Mr. Gaetz, look me in the eye. You really think that's appropriate to ask me?

GAETZ: Absolutely.

HUNTER: Of all the people sitting around this table, do you think that's appropriate to ask me?

Ouch.

But we want to close with something more important.

Democratic Rep. Jamie Raskin gave Hunter the opportunity to really talk about what was happening here. Raskin noted that witnesses had said they feel like Republicans are literally trying to push Hunter into a relapse. (Would it be unreasonable to say House Republicans’ primary project these past few years has been to try to cause the relapse and/or death of another Biden son? You be the judge, especially after you read the full lines of questioning from Matt Gaetz and Harriet Hageman.)

Raskin expressed hope that Hunter was doing OK. Hunter responded:

I'm more determined than I've ever been in my life that the number-one most important thing that I can do, not only for myself but for my family and for those that love and support me, is to maintain my sobriety.

And -- I don't know. I think one of the things that I have not been able to fully comprehend -- I'm speaking to everybody at the table here -- is at least the understanding of that, at least the understanding of the fact that I am certain every single person in this room has had someone in their life that they love, if not themselves, if not personally themselves, that have been the victims of the disease of addiction. And I don't consider myself a victim, but I do know this: is that it's real, and it rips apart families, it rips apart communities.

It's something that I am -- I know, for me, if I have a purpose in life now, that purpose in life is to be an example to other people that I know that have it a hell of a lot harder than I do, even in these circumstances.

It's one thing to have to come and face all of you, and that's intimidating, and I can tell you, it fills me with anxiety on a daily basis, but I know this: There are people out there that -- that don't have families that love and support them anymore. There are people out there that don't, from the outside, look like they have any hope at all.

And all I can say is this: is that the one thing that I would hope that you would respect is that struggle, if not for me, at least for the people that are your constituents that are facing the same thing.

And I'm not being saccharine or I'm not being disingenuous, and I promise you I'm not in any way saying this other than for this: Everyone -- everyone -- has dealt with this in one way or another.

And I have to make my amends, and I made mistakes, and I screwed up. I know that. The world knows that now. The world knows that a thousand times over now. But I do know this: is that, at least when you talk about it, give me that benefit, give your constituents that benefit, give the people of America that benefit.

Over 35 million Americans right now are suffering from addiction, and it's a disease that takes lives every day. And you know it. You watch it. And they are not evil. They are not bad people. It doesn't stop some of them from being bad or evil, and they have to pay for what they've done, if they've done something in addiction that they should not have done. And that's my responsibility.

But I can tell you this: The only involvement of my father in anything in my life has been as my father, not as a business partner, not as a benefit of my business, not anything.

But I would just hope that you would respect what everyone else is going through and realize it's not just about me when you speak about the things that I've faced as it relates to -- and some of those behaviors in my darkest days.

No further questions, said Jamie Raskin.

And we don’t have any either.

MAGA Republicans are beneath garbage on the totem pole of humanity.

And they have fucking nothing on the Bidens.

[READ THE TRANSCRIPT! IT WAS A PERFECT DEPOSITION!]

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PREVIOUSLY IN ALL OF THESE, JESUS.

Let's See How James Comer's Impeachment Investigation Is Going. Is He Nailing It?

Sounds Like James Comer Stapled His Donger To The Wall Again With This Hunter Biden Deposition

James Comer Throwing First Biden Impeachment Hearing Next Week, Promises No New Evidence Against Bidens

Didn't We Say James Comer Was Literally Just Investigating The Fumes Of Rudy Giuliani's Russian Spy Farts?

Brian Kilmeade Boned All The Biden Impeachment Conspiracy Theories On Live TV, Whoops, That's A Wrap!

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Evan Hurst on Twitter right here. 

BlueSky! 

@evanjosephhurst on Threads!

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