Either white MAGA conservative idiots feel incredibly threatened by Taylor Swift — NAH! Can’t be it — or Ms. Swift is up to a lot more than Look What You Made Me Doing that hot piece of ass Travis Kelce. (And totally Yoko-ing the Kansas City Chiefs in the process, probably! And Yoko-ing all of football!)
She’s been exposed beyond a shadow of a doubt as a person who cavorts with the demons and sometimes opens the hellmouth during her show, during that one song “Willow.” You can tell because there are orbs on stage. (A real exorcist expertly determined all this. Shut up, exorcists are people too!)
MAGA troll goat pubis people were extremely upset when Swift won Time’s Person of the Year award. They were so mad, so very mad. What has she even accomplished with her changing the economies of the countries and cities she visits, and her being the biggest star in the entire world? Is she even a white dude country singer who tries things in small towns and is on tape saying the “N”-word?
Recently Swift went to a comedy show where the comedian was giving some proceeds to humanitarian relief in Gaza, and bilious racist TERF trash Megyn Kelly had a real conniption over that one.
And let us never forget that for many of these people, the real problem is that Swift cockblocked their dreams that she was a secret Nazi when she started speaking out politically, and they will never get over it.
So anyway, Jesse Watters!
He’s got a theory, and it’s that she’s a Pentagon asset, because here’s why.
JESSE WATTERS: Well, Taylor Swift's the biggest star in the world. Sorry, Gutfeld.
Very sorry, Gutfeld.
She's been blanketed across the sports-media entertainment atmosphere. The New York Times just speculated she's a lesbian.
That is definitely what makes a person famous. (We didn’t read the op-ed in question, because whoa TL;DR, but Swift’s people seem creeped out by it and so do others. We’ll let you get your inhaler while you start processing that the New York Times might have published a giant piece of shit.)
And last year's tour broke Ticketmaster. A tour that's revenue tops the GDP of 50 countries.
Mediocre white gentleman needs to get to point.
I mean, I like her music, she's alright …
Mediocre white gentleman does not have point, has opinion.
but have you ever wondered why or how she blew up like this?
Well, during the pandemic she released, back-to-back, two of the most brilliant albums of her career, right there in a moment when people were REALLY paying attention. That’s just one thing, but it’s the first thing that popped into our head. We bet if Jesse googled Jeeves about it, he could find out some things.
Or he could just wildly speculate that she’s in the employ of the Pentagon and this is all a psy-op:
Well, around four years ago, the Pentagon Psychological Operations Unit floated turning Taylor Swift into an asset during a NATO meeting. What kind of asset? A psy-op for combatting online misinformation.
OK. Guess Occam’s Razor has spoken.
So now we are back to how truly inferior white conservative guys cannot handle the notion that Taylor Swift is the most powerful celebrity in the world on her own merit, because she’s a genius businessperson and also because gabillions of people truly love her.
No, there must be something nefarious afoot. Something that keeps them from having to reckon with how stunningly irrelevant this person’s success makes them feel. Not because of anything she did, mind you, but because of how self-conscious and hyper-sensitive they are to anything that knocks their already fragile masculinity down 1,000 more pegs.
Anything that reminds them the world doesn’t really have a need for them.
Media Matters points to a report from Mediaite, which shows that Jesse (SURPRISE) got it all wrong (NO WAY!) about the Pentagon’s secret Taylor Swift psy-ops unit to manipulate Americans into loving her instead of loving white MAGA conservative dudes. It’s absolutely a fake story, it wasn’t a Pentagon employee, it happened at a NATO conference on cyber conflict called CYCON. But look at the mouthbreathing MAGA motherfuckers who have been sharing it on Twitter:
Watters may have gotten the idea for the misleading segment from a three-minute snippet of the CYCON video that was shared on X/Twitter on Monday by former State Department official Mike Benz, who served under Donald Trump.
“Watch the incredible moment that a rep from the Pentagon’s psychological operations research firm pitched NATO’s military psyops center on turning Taylor Swift into an asset for the Western military alliance to stop ‘disinformation’ on the Internet,” Benz wrote.
A community note attached to the post notes that the claim is false and provides a link to the entire presentation.
The tweet was subsequently re-shared by Jeffrey Clark – the former Trump Justice Department lawyer who was indicted with Trump in Georgia over the president’s efforts to overturn the election in the state.
Jeffrey Clark. That guy is definitely hinged and full of good information, and does not remotely need a policeman or a grownup to protect him from sharp objects and his own fears.
“Is Swift a front for a covert political agenda?” Jesse asked. “The pop star who endorsed Biden is urging millions of her followers to vote. She’s sharing links. And her boyfriend Travis Kelce, sponsored by Pfizer. And their relationship’s boosted the NFL ratings this season, bringing in a whole new demographic. So how’s the psy-op going?”
Later on, Jesse and his guest bitched and moaned that Taylor Swift posts voter registration links and her fans destroy the white fascist MAGA agenda by clicking them. In case you wondered if that’s also part of this, how Taylor Swift is ruining America by helping people who aren’t white conservative men vote.
Of course it’s possible Jesse knows the story is fake, and he’s just lying to his viewers because that’s what Fox News does. “That’s real,” said Jesse, echoing the way his timeslot predecessor Tucker Carlson would signal that he was about to knowingly lie.
That’s it, that’s our grand conclusion.
PREVIOUSLY IN TAYLOR SWIFT BECAUSE GOOD LORD THESE PEOPLE AND TAYLOR SWIFT.
Megyn Kelly Calls On Her Billions Of Fans To Boycott Taylor Swift For LMAOOOOO Fuck Off Megyn Kelly
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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Don't worry, Jesssup, you can still get Kid Rock to run a voter registration drive. That ought to even things out.
"And her boyfriend Travis Kelce, sponsored by Pfizer."
Yet another thing they can't get over. Mr. Football encourages people to get vaccinated while Ms. Swift encourages people to register to vote. The horror.