James Comer Sick Of Being Outsmarted By Evil Genius Archnemesis [CHECKS NOTES] Steve Doocy

When you're crumbling under the weight of the journalist scrutiny at 'Fox & Friends,' boy I don't know.

Dec 13, 2023

This week on “Fox & Friends,” Steve Doocy once again humiliated House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer, who was not present, by correctly explaining that despite how Republicans have been out of breath investigating Joe Biden for one million years now, they haven’t found shit.

They have found Joe Biden buying a truck and letting Hunter Biden use it and fronting a few payments. They have found Biden loaning family members money and getting paid back. And that dipshit Comer has tried to “Hee Haw” dance around and convince people he’s discovered scandals, but he has nothing. And everybody knows it.

It is desperately embarassing, and James Comer is desperately embarrassing. If James Comer was your son, you’d lock him in the outhouse permanently, and if people asked where your son was, you’d say, “He lives in the backyard, with the squirrels and the poop.”

Doocy does this to Comer pretty regularly. For some reason, on this one issue, Doocy has integrity.

Comer is so angry about it. He went on Newsmax again (he goes on TV a lot, we guess it beats working) last night to wail at one of the interchangeable white freak hosts about his archnemesis Steve Doocy, the evil genius of the morning timeslot on Fox News.

NEWSMAX IDIOT: Why would Doocy say, all the work you’ve done, that you have nothing? Why do you think that is?
COMER: Well he’s been this, he’s had that position from the very beginning. I’ve quit goin’ on “Fox & Friends” because of Doocy. You know, I mean, he’s the one guy on Fox who’s been very critical of the investigation, I have my theory why, we’ll talk about that at a later point, but at the end of the day he’s entitled to his opinion, but I don’t think the average viewer of Fox News agrees with Doocy one bit.

‘Kay.

James Comer has a theory why Steve Doocy criticizes his clownfuck of an investigation, but he’s not telling you right now, probably because he hasn’t made it up yet. He’s always going to tell you later.

This is more embarrassing than when Vivek Ramaswamy manages to make Brian Kilmeade look smart.

‘Comer doesn’t like Doocy because Doocy is the only one on Fox who impolitely points out that his investigation is a joke. Comer doesn’t like Doocy because Doocy outsmarts him. Comer crumbles under the the journalistic scrutiny he faces on “Fox & Friends.”

Y’all ever notice when Comer talks, the way he always does this breathlessly excited, nervous, saliva-filled giggle, like he knows he stole a bunch of cookies and put them in his underpants, and as soon as he goes back to the outhouse he’s going to eat the cookies in his underpants, but he’s also scared he’s going to get caught?

You may interpret his weird slurring giggles differently.

At press time Steve Doocy was petting a cat and concocting his next evil scheme to hoodwink the world into thinking James Comer is a pigfucking dumbass.

[video via Acyn]