Knock knock knocking on Heaven's Door! Wonkette One-A-Day for 5/5/26!
Happy Cinco and afternoon post roundup!
Hello dear ones! It’s time for all the posts of today!
Evan, as every Tuesday morning, did your tabs. And he’ll be doing them on Thursday too because I’m taking tomorrow off! (Read tomorrow’s tabs anyway, particularly because you need to know where to MEET US IN HAWAI’I!)
You see this stupid thing (acting) Attorney General Todd Blanche said about how you need an ID to go to a restaurant? Well, Gary did, and that was enough for him to write this thing making fun of him!
He’s melting right in front of our eyes and they’re saying it’s raining.
It sure is interesting that this whole “go be a tradwife” thing kicked off right when young women started out-colleging the young men, and now they’re outearning them too. Yes, “interesting.”
Still don’t have to hand it to her, we promise.
Oh, Bezoses, you’re so gross. But the Ball Without Billionaires was a goddamn hoot.
See y’all bright and early for tabs!