Night Of The Boneless Chicken Heart Strangler Lawsuit
It's your Wonkette roundup for Friday, July 26, 2024
Congratulations on making it to Friday! We have an especially fine blend of news and weirdness for you! The day started, as ever, with Yr Editrix and Tabs, and accelerated from there.
Evan explains that Donald Trump is being a great big chicken and refusing to debate Kamala Harris, because he is chicken and a LOSER
Speaking of blasts from the past, which we weren’t actually speaking of but we aren’t revising anything today, Kim Reynolds, the awful county clerk lady who refused to complete marriage licenses for LGBTQ folks nearly a decade ago, resurfaced with a lawsuit to invalidate all the gay marriages and send anyone having unapproved sex to jail. Marcie Jones has the deets:
The economy is doing pretty darn well and CNN even allowed itself to notice! Also, Dok threw in a cat picture.
The rightwing war on libraries continues, with brave librarians and citizens fighting back, hooray! Bonus reference to Les Misérables, but only the novel not the musical. OK, we guess Javert is in the musical but there’s no singing in the Texas part of this story, for it is sin.
Wonkhusband Shy Pixel has a story of fire, devastation, climate, and some lady named “Alice” (but probably not) at the RNC. Gotta like a story with a line like “Every day looked like a new seal had been broken and smelled like fire and smoke and death.” Read it here!
A meditation by Robyn on the freaky rightwing freakouts about perfectly nice things like laughter and non-procreative sex, because after you get angry that Joe Biden petted a dog and likes ice cream, you can only go downhill from there.
Donald Trump’s dumb attempt to get his 34 New York felonies thrown out is not likely to succeed, because New York judges aren’t as gullible as MAGA chuds or six justices on the US Supreme Court.
“Boneless chicken wings” are not made of wing meat, and according to the Ohio Supreme Court, you can’t reasonably expect them to be boneless either. What a crazy country!
Thank goodness Hooper the Bartender showed up with this week’s cocktail, a Matcha Sake Tonic! It’s refreshing, it’s very sippable, and as Scotty said in that one episode of Star Trek where he had to get an alien drunk, “It’s … it’s green.”
And that’s about it for Yr Dok Zoom and his substitute newslettering, unless you want to hear him natter on about how the wildfires in Oregon have turned Boise grey and coughy, and nobody wants that.
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Great job this week guys. Get plenty of rest this weekend because I expect double the articles on Monday and I WILL speak to the manager.
Fact check : Reynolds isn’t a lady.