Secretary Squeals-A-Bunch Had A Pretty Embarrassing Day In Congress
It would be cool if we had a Defense secretary with more impressive military experience.
Yesterday, Jules Hurst III, the comptroller at the Pentagon, told the House Armed Services Committee that Donald Trump’s stupid, servile war for Benjamin Netanyahu in Iran has so far cost American taxpayers, who cannot currently afford gas, $25 billion. That number will only rise as America continues to lose, and as Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth learns in real time — and is forced to emotionally process — that the reason America hasn’t won a war in 80-someodd years actually has nothing to do with girls or Black people or gays or transgender people, but on foreign policy concepts he’s far too stupid and inexperienced to understand.
Meanwhile Trump is posting memes, renaming the Strait of Hormuz as “Strait of Trump,” prompting some to ask why Trump would name his greatest failure after himself. But that’s a silly question, because Trump always names his greatest failures after himself.
Anyway, the real show in Congress yesterday was the very sensitive, thin-skinned, needy, soft and milquetoast Nilla wafer of a WAR!!! secretary, Pete Hegseth — they formally requested the name change this week, because that’s their stupid priority in the middle of NOT A WAR — getting triggered over and over and over again by Democrats, including in exchanges with Democratic man senators with more esteemed military records than his own.
As usual, the whining was intense and came from the beginning, as Hegseth mewled that the “biggest adversary” America faces is the “defeatist words” of Democrats.
“The biggest challenge, the biggest adversary we face at this point are the reckless, feckless and defeatist words of congressional Democrats, and some Republicans,” Hegseth said at a House Armed Services Committee budget hearing. “Your hatred for President Trump blinds you to the truth of the success of this mission.”
Aww, boo boo. Cry more, bitch.
Rep. Chrissy Houlahan, one of the honorable veterans Secretary Shitfaced has been attacking for making a video reminding troops that they have a sworn duty to refuse illegal orders from tyrants and their little pissboys, remarked on Pete’s whining:
“You reserve more words and more vitriol to condemn Democrats than you did for [Chinese President] Xi Jinping and for [Russian President Vladimir] Putin combined,” said Rep. Chrissy Houlahan (D-Pa.). “It’s pretty telling to me that you decided to use your words and your time for that.”
Pretty sure Daddy Trump would fire Pete if he was mean to Trump’s daddy Putin.
Spouting the same propaganda Benjamin Netanyahu uses to keep Israelis on constant edge, Hegseth told Congress of Iran that “When someone tells me for 47 years that they want to kill us, I think I am going to take them at their word.” We guess Hegseth has Daddy issues for Bibi too, because he kept dutifully reading these lines throughout the hearing.
Democrats went after Little Pete for his murder of Iranian school girls on the literal first day of his big war, his Venezuelan boat murders, for his melodramatic firing sprees at the Pentagon, which just show how unfit he is for the role of being a man who commands other men. Democratic Rep. Salud Carbajal of California called him “the gift that keeps on giving when it comes to incompetence.”
Houlahan noted that he had no answers for why he fired now-former Army Chief of Staff Randy George. “It’s very difficult to change the culture of a department that has been destroyed by the wrong perspectives with the same officers that were there,” Hegseth whined. “So you think General George destroyed a culture?” asked Houlahan. “You have no answer, sir. You have no way of explaining why you fired one of the most decorated and remarkable men who’s ever served the nation.” She noted that his response was “immature.”
Of course it was. He’s in over his head. He’s a former Fox News host, an empty suit and an empty head. God didn’t create him for greatness.
Limp Pete of course buttered his Daddy’s ass repeatedly during the hearing, with his tongue, because that’s what his masculine insecurity complex says he’s supposed to do. He called Daddy the “sharpest, most inciteful commander-in-chief we’ve had in generations.” Haha, OK, Pete. We understand.
Here’s a taste of how the hearing went:
“You’re disparaging me that I don’t care about the passing of our troops! That’s disparaging and smearing in every way!”
Really? Because he doesn’t seem that upset. He seems more upset with woke Democrats who expose what a small man he is than he is about our troops dying for his fuckups.
Anyway, what a very sensitive boy!
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Here is Democratic Rep. John Garamendi of California calling Hegseth a liar right to his face:
“Sec. Hegseth, you have been lying to the American public about this war from day one, and so has the president. You have misled the public about why we are at war. You and the president have offered ever-changing reasons for this war. You’ve misled the public about the progress of the war.”
Ohhhhhh, Secretary Shitfaced had a little tantrum in response to that! He got up out of his hair and makeup chair and HOW VERY DARE YOU!-ed Garamendi, especially after Garamendi called his Iran fuckup a “quagmire.”
“My generation served in a quagmire!” Don’t you dare call Pete Hegseth a quagmire!
“The way you stain the troops when you tell them two months in — TWO MONTHS IN, CONGRESSMAN, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER, SHAME ON YOU, CALLING THIS A QUAGMIRE, TWO MONTHS IN!”
Dramaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
“Don’t say I support the troops on one hand, then a two-month mission is a quagmire. That’s a false equivalation!”
Yes, that’s what he said. “Equivalation.”
The clip above ends with Hegseth whining that criticizing his illegally and monumentally stupid war is tantamount to attacking the troops, probably because Hegseth doesn’t have the kind of military c.v. that would allow him to have a more professional, 30,000-foot understanding of such weighty matters as a whole, entire war.
He should probably stick to speeches about hairstyles.
So that was fun.
The questioning from Jason Crow, another one of the actually honorable veterans Hegseth has been attacking for valuing the Constitution and the Uniform Code of Military Justice more than he values the things Pete values, like insecurity and basting Daddy Trump’s balls, was also a lot of fun.
Instead of focusing on Iran or Hegseth’s firing spree, Crow, knowing Trump was at home watching the hearing on the toilet, took the opportunity to try to humiliate Hegseth and drive a wedge between him and Daddy, peppering him with questions about why he hired as his personal attorney Tim Parlatore, who at one point was a Trump lawyer, but who has been very disrespectful toward Daddy since!
Crow established that Tim Parlatore travels with Pete and he is Pete’s senior adviser and Pete loooooves him. Watch as Pete gets so confused about where this line of questioning is going, what this man who is better than him is leading him into, and his inability to stop it. “You’re playing a gotcha game!” Pete squealed, in his way. “You’re playing a losing hand!” squealed Pete, while losing.
“You purport to have unfaltering loyalty to President Trump,” said Crow, only to be interrupted by Secretary Rage Issues, raging, “Oh you care a lot about President Trump, don’t you!”
Crow’s point was that Hegseth “repeatedly go[es] behind the president’s back,” appointing people Trump doesn’t like, and that he is not honest in his dealings with Trump.
We’ll give you that whole five minutes:
So that’s some fun wedge-driving!
And here’s Seth Moulton, a Marine Corps veteran whose service is also more impressive and honorable than Secretary Squeals-A-Lot’s:
“How is this war going? Do you think we’re winning?” Moulton asked the idiot. Hegseth answered “militarily, on the battlefield.” Moulton clarified that he was asking about THE WHOLE WAR, dummy. Do people who win wars get entire Straits of Hormuz closed on them?
“OK so we’ve blockaded their blockade. So then they blockaded us, and we blockaded their blockade. That’s like saying ‘Tag, you’re it.’ Or, you know, if President Madison had said, ‘Well, the British just burned down Washington, but don’t worry, we’re gonna burn it down as well!’”
It wasn’t a question. Moulton immediately turned to General Dan Caine, who was also there. Sometimes it’s better to ask a professional, or just a real man.
Today at 11:00 (ET), Secretary Softy McSqueals-So-Much will be at the Senate Armed Services Committee. We’ll put up a livestream once it starts, and we find one! Here’s the livestream! Let’s see what a fool and a coward they make him look like.
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"That's a false equivalation [sic]"
I read that 'sic' as a 'hic'.
It's all toddler tantrum all the time with MAGA.