Trump Gonna Move Heavily On Madison Square Garden, Take New York And New Jersey Furniture Shopping
He's gonna move on them like a bitch, but he won't get there.
The taint-sniffers at Breitbart did a taint-sniffing interview with Donald Trump that’s just been released. Example of serious journalist sentence from interview:
“One of the other things I’m going to do — and I may be foolish in doing it — is I’m going to make a heavy play for New York, heavy play for New Jersey, heavy play for Virginia, heavy play for New Mexico, and a heavy play for a state that hasn’t been won in years, Minnesota,” Trump said in the more than two-hour-long interview at his luxurious seaside Mar-a-Lago resort here.
Oh, his luxurious seaside Mar-a-Lago resort. Would that be the one that’s definitely worth a billion dollars or maybe more, just in case there are some state secrets buried in the walls that America’s enemies might want to buy, not that we’re saying there are?
What’s really making news about the interview, though, is the rest of that quote, where Trump, sitting with Breitbart beta boys who are too obsequious to laugh at him when he says such things, said he’s going to make “heavy plays” for New York, New Jersey, Virginia, New Mexico, and Minnesota, which are all very blue states. (Yes, including Virginia. They go squirrelly with state elections sometimes, but they haven’t voted for a Republican for president since 2004.)
How heavily is he going to pet those blue states? Well he’s not saying he’s going to grab them by the pussy and take them furniture shopping, but …
“I’m going to do rallies, I’m going to do speeches, I’m going to work them,” Trump said. “That doesn’t mean I’m going to work them as hard as I work Pennsylvania, where I’m doing very well.”
Yeah, he is kind of saying that, turns out.
Not sure if Trump’s surely genius campaign strategists really want him wasting his time trying to win his home state that wishes he had never been born, when there are swing states to campaign in, but shhhhh it’ll probably be fine.
Also, he has this idea:
“But we’re going to do these other states too, and it will be a heavy move,” Trump said. “I may rent Madison Square Garden and that’s the belly of the beast, right?”
Huh. Hey, remember what happened when Trump was inaugurated and there were like five old racists with walkers there and he forced Sean Spicer to beclown himself pretending the attendance was YOOGE?
How many of his MAGA idiot followers do we think are 1) capable of visiting New York without shitting their pants in fear, and 2) also capable of the physical act of navigating their way to Penn Station and into the arena?
Lotta stairs, man.
At that point in the interview, Breitbart starts slobbering over the idea of Trump in Madison Square Garden, and telling fantastical stories of all the grown men with tears in their eyes when Trump showed up there for the UFC fight recently. Breitbart also babbles on and on about how scary New York is now, as does Trump, because these people are addled-brained racist lunatics, but definitely also experts on New York:
“We have some very good people there,” Trump said. “So, I believe we have a chance to win New York. I believe we have a chance to win New Jersey. If you look at Lee [Zeldin], he lost by a pretty close race. But it’s 100 times worse now than it was two years ago. Now, you have people — you have migrants living on Madison Avenue. You can’t get into a hospital. You can’t get into a school. You go to a public school and half the kids are sitting there and have no idea what the teacher is saying. You can’t get into these schools. I think it’s really bad and I think the people in New York and New Jersey and a lot of these states are — it would have been semi-unthinkable but I think these are states that can be won.”
Um, sure, OK. Literally everything for Trump is whatever he was shitting his racist pants about from atop his golden toilet in Trump Tower in 1988. His brain is stuck there. He has absolutely zero idea what New York is like right now.
Dean Obeidallah makes another connection regarding why Trump might want to do a rally at Madison Square Garden. Could this be the real reason Trump — or whoever has their hand up his ass controlling him right now — wants to do that?
No no no, you’re thinking of Trump’s father getting arrested at a KKK rally in 1927, not a Nazi rally in 1939. You silly, always mixing up your Trump-involved hate rallies!
Of course, Trump has been doing a lot of overtly Hitler-istic Nazi things lately, and his rallies are basically Hitler rallies already and that does sound like him.
So yeah, fuck it, that’s probably it. No reason to assume otherwise.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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I was just in NYC with my kids over the holiday period and we didn't get mugged or raped even once! We did collectively flip off Trump Tower, though.
Also, if Trump manages to actually secure a location for a hate-rally in NYC itself, I would like enough of a heads up to corner the market on rotten tomatoes. There's a reason he holds rallies in red states or in places outside of major urban centers. NYC hated you even before you became a candidate, you filthy orange beast.
“Like so many Americans, I left New York for good, and am now in the state with, let’s see: warmer weather, law and order, better education, more freedom, better quality of life and guess what? No state income tax."
NYC just lost another Chump licker, Hannity has left the city. Good riddance, you lived on Long Island, ya mook.