Were 'RFK Jr,' 'Roadkill,' 'Raccoon,' And 'Penis' On Your Random-Word Bingo Card? Wonkette One-A Day, March 24, 2026
Dok’s on One-A-Day duty today and has already aced the first requirement: Actually remembering to write a headline. Some days, just getting over lowest bar is a win.
As Rebecca reminds us in Tabs, Evan is on vacation this week, so try not to panic too much. One hallmark of Trump’s second term is that the appropriate level of panic can be difficult to determine. Also, in your Tabs gif, a baby giraffe denies he has a gamboling problem.
Trump has sent ICE agents to major airports, where they aren’t really helping because they aren’t trained to do airport screenings. It’s the absence of thought that counts.
Best Bluesky comment about this story: “Great headline. No stomach to read the details lol.” [Multi-colored heart emojis] Fact check true.
The incompetence, preening cosplay, and unapologetic brutality of the Kristi Noem era at Homeland Security are gone, and will be replaced by the incompetence, semiliteracy, and unapologetic brutality of newly-confirmed DHS head Markwayne Mullin. who doesn’t need a costume to be an idiot.
Labor historian Erik Loomis tells us about the amazing reason FDR and Congress granted independence to the Philippines. As a colony, its people could easily come to California, so racist white Californians demanded Washington DC cut the Philippines loose.
Two “RFK is a dangerous weirdo” stories in one day? It is so: In the name of Freedom, Secretary Brainworms McRacoonpenis will let teenagers get a head start on looking like a vintage leather bag by the time they’re 35.
Today has been A LOT. Tomorrow probably will, too! We’ll be here again to help you get through it!
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I really need to hear the extinction scream of the patriarchy come to an end sooner.