Wonkette news of today: All of it, Katie!

No roundup yesterday because I accidentally sent you just about each one of our actual posts! Today I did not, you are welcome! Here is every news that happened today!

There was your morning news brief, le tabs!

Scandals That Rocked The Food Network To Its Core! Tabs, Wed., March 6, 2024

Meet your new president, this guy!

Should Joe Biden Even Be Allowed To Run For President After Humiliating Loss In American Samoa?

Kyrsten Sinema fucked off :(

Physicists: Known Universe Too Small For Kyrsten Sinema To F**k Off Far Enough

We told Dean Phillips to fuck off!

OK Dean Phillips, Time To F*ck Off

And then he fucked off!

Hooray, Dean Phillips F*cking Off!

They should not do that, I think.

Hope Liberty University Really Enjoyed Covering Up Sexual Assaults, Because It's Gonna Cost Them $14 Million

Also that not doing should: The New York Times!

New York Times Polls Doing That Thing Again

Hmmm, wonder why they need so much security, no reason probs.

Supreme Court Wants More $$$ To Protect Supreme Court

I’m not putting any money down, but:

Texas Dem Colin Allred Vs. Ted Cruz: What If Texas Voters Found Their Minds?

Bless her heart.

MARGE TAYLOR GREENE NOT A JEWISH SPACE LASER, YOUR A JEWISH SPACE LASER!

Your Wonkette temporary tattoos? AQUI!

There you have it, all the news that happened in the entire world. See you bright and early for tabs!