Aw, Fiddlebritches! Hunter Biden Accuser Just Pleaded Guilty To Lying To FBI!
Now who's gonna tell James Comer Russian spy lies about Hunter's penis?
Early this year, we found out something hilarious, namely that House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer, the Kentucky fried pigfuck himself, had been played hilariously by an informant claiming to have dirty secrets about Hunter Biden and the rest of the Biden family, Ukrainian secrets, secrets the informant had 100 percent gotten from Russian spies.
Alexander Smirnov was Comer’s star witness, who was gonna blow this case wide open as soon as he sat down to testify before Congress. But like yeah LOL nah, that’s not exactly how it went.
Smirnov’s lies to the FBI about Ukrainian Biden bribes made up the FD-1023 form Comer and Jim Jordan and Chuck Grassley spent months yelling about, which was supposed to be their smoking gun. It was also the form full of Russian spy lies for which Smirnov was indicted and arrested. This is the long debunked malarkey tale that figured heavily in Donald Trump’s first impeachment, when it was brought back to America by Rudy Giuliani. It alleged that the Ukrainian energy company Burisma had hired Hunter Biden to get close to his sweet, sweet Joe Biden goodies, had bribed them each $5 million, and that Joe Biden had gotten the Ukrainian prosecutor general fired to protect Burisma. All bullshit.
And Smirnov admitted he got his fake lie stories about the Bidens from Russian intelligence.
Now he has struck a deal and pleaded guilty. Womp womp. What a sad coda to the only thing that’s given Old Pigfuck Comer’s life any meaning these past few years.
Smirnov admitted in court documents that he gave “false and derogatory information” about the Bidens to the FBI. He will be sentenced to anywhere from 48 to 72 months, with credit for time served. And this all came out of the office of Special Counsel David Weiss, the same one who went after Hunter Biden.
Oh, and now Hunter Biden is pardoned, which means who’s going to jail? Yep, just the informant with the Russian spy lies about the Bidens that made James Comer’s belly giggle like a bowl full of jelly. Merry Christmas, Pigfuck!
For a full recounting/reminder of exactly what Smirnov did, check this link, as Wonkette has written it previously eight times and doesn’t feel like doing it again. In that post, we noted that Sean Hannity spread this informant’s bullshit 85 times last year, and put it in 28 monologues. Chris Hayes also noted that Hannity had Jimmy Pigfuck Comer on his show 43 times last year.
We are sure Fox News is wall-to-wall with Smirnov’s guilty plea now, you bet.
As for James Comer, that sad failure, we are sure he is feeling fully chastened and won’t make a mistake like this again, ha ha just kidding.
First of all, Comer is still out there bitching and moaning that Joe Biden lied about “his family’s shady business dealings.” He wrote an op-ed in Fox News, just whining about a Biden family “influence-peddling racket” that he still desperately needs to believe exists, otherwise why did God interrupt him trying to make chickens and roosters kiss on his farm in Kentucky and ask him to come to Washington? Seems a waste of his plucky talents.
In that op-ed he tries so hard to make it seem like his Oversight Committee’s impeachment investigation into the Bidens didn’t turn into a complete limp dick. He does not succeed, but it’s OK, Fox News viewers don’t read op-eds. He claims he exposed the “lie” that the Hunter laptop is Russian disinformation. (Interestingly, Lev Parnas still says it sure did get corrupted by Russian intelligence.) He tries to put lipstick on his own series of pigfucks, all the bombshells he pretends he found that weren’t bombshells.
It’s sad. It’s like he’s doing an exit interview with his bathroom mirror and the mirror is making armpit farts sounds and calling him a loser.
Elsewhere, Comer has expressed complete openness to Donald Trump’s masturbation fantasies of having members of the House January 6 Select Committee jailed, including Jamie Raskin, who served alongside Comer as the ranking member of the Oversight Committee.
Also he says he’s a “big fan” of having Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez become the ranking member of Oversight, now that Raskin is leaving to occupy that position at Judiciary. He says she’s a “good person,” and more:
“I certainly look forward to working with the next ranking member. And if it’s AOC, I think we’ll have a good working relationship,” he concluded. “We‘ll obviously have a lot of differences on policy, but I think she’s a good, well-spoken person for the Democrats to serve in that position.”
We’re sure he thinks he’s playing some kind of multi-dimensional chess mindgame trying to encourage Democrats to select AOC as ranking member. (Unfortunately, Dems went with Gerry Connolly instead.)
Bless his heart.
Can y’all imagine what a dipshit he’s going to be chairing that committee with Trump as the president?
OPEN THREAD.
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Hats off to Wilbur and Orville, the original Kitty Hawk Two-ah!
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By far, the most popular note I’ve ever put on Substack was in regards to my dad’s pecan pie. It was posted several weeks ago and I’m still receiving comments on it. Anyway, as much as the comments have been overwhelmingly positive, I got one trollish one a few days ago from some incel loser that was apparently appalled that a MAN would be cooking when I, his daughter, am apparently too lazy to do it (I guess men can’t possibly want to, or get pleasure from cooking); and a second weird one today from somebody commenting so that they could promote their own substack. The first guy already deleted himself because I pointed out a grammar mistake (heh, so delicate), but the latter is still there. Is it bad form to delete that or should I even bother?