Hey, did you notice that, as a pop culture phenomenon, zombies finally seem to be kind of over? Not that there won’t be any more zombie movies, just that they stopped being ubiquitous. That occurred to us earlier today when we had a very good reason to link to Jonathan Coulton’s hilarious 2006 song “Re Your Brains,” which framed a zombie apocalypse in the language of routine office buzzwords.
We don’t know, we could be wrong. Just something we’ve been gnawing on. Anyway, here’s what Yr Wonkette was up to today while you were dodging the undead.
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We started the day, as ever, with Tabs, today featuring a .gif image of an adorable kitten who’s really into its kibble.
Trump’s new DHS Secretary Marwayne Waynemark Mullin said that his agency will always abide by the Constitution and US law and, and will sometimes abide by federal court orders, unless of course DHS decides the federal judges are woke and political, and therefore not legally valid. We suspect that’s not how that works.
Now that he’s no longer in charge of the Border Patrol, former chief goon Greg Bovino is surprised to find himself having his dick sucked by actual Nazis every time he talks about deporting 100 million people, which is a third of the US population. Where did all those Nazis come from and why do they like him so? Is it the one-arm salute?
Scott Pelley was shitcanned by CBS News for having too much journalistic integrity for the Bari Weiss era, and he has quite a bit to say about it. The zombies tearing apart the corpse of a once great news outlet can’t understand why he’s not a team player.
Measles, whooping cough, rotavirus and other diseases are surging across American communities, so the Trump administration is reducing the number of vaccines recommended for children. After all, antivaxxers are convinced that vaccines are a secret plot to depopulate the earth.
Donald Trump picked mortgage-fraud accuser Bill Pulte to be the Director of National Intelligence because he’ll do anything Trump wants him to. His complete lack of any experience in national security or intelligence makes him the perfect candidate, since he’s uncontaminated by the Deep State or anything like expertise.
That’s it for today, we’ll see you tomorrow, ideally without any zombies other than the metaphorical kind.
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The Jonathan Coulton song has been cheering me up all day.
Speaking of the undead, you know what I just thought of...
Back in grade school I remember learning about Ancient Egypt and how the pharoes built monuments to be interred in, along with their closest devotees and servants to be buried alive.
I thought it was a crazy relic of our ignorant past, and thank goodness we knew better in the contemporary age.
But after looking at Trump and those still clinging to MAGA... these people are not going to know which way is up after they have warped their entire 'Christian' worldview around this man