Five Things That Didn't Suck In 2025
Fairly sure we can find that many.
We at Wonkette love you filthy fuckaducks and want you to remember that while everything is terrible, there are still good things, even in this Fuckyear of 2025. We were already well into drafting this (but nowhere near the outskirts of Barstow) when somebody online went and called attention to the 30th birthday Monday of Flossie, the world’s oldest living cat, who was born in 1995 and outlived both of her original owners (10 years with her first human servant, 14 more with the first owner’s sister). Flossie’s current person is Vickie Green of London, who in 2024 wrote a lovely Guardian piece about Flossie, noting that she’s the same age as her record-setting pet.
Before adopting her two years ago, Green actually thought Flossie’s listed age on the Cats Protection website had to be a typo, because no way did they have a 27-year-old cat. They did, and shortly after, Green did. She only learned that Flossie was likely the world’s oldest living cat later, when Cats Protection messaged that they’d received the veterinarian’s records confirming her birthdate (Flossie’s obviously). Here’s the Guinness World Records vid:
Give Flossie another eight years and two days, and she’ll surpass Creme Puff, the worlds’ oldest cat ever.
Green wrote she’d expected to help Flossie live a nice few months more, but here they both are, and we’re delighted. She attributes the kitty’s longevity to luck and the fact that everyone who’s had her loved her. Flossie has lost her hearing and her eyesight is nearly gone, but she’s still playful and loves napping, both good qualifications for long life, or at least enjoying it while you’re here.
And that’s not even in our actual top five, some of which come from Wonkette and others not.
1. The Earth Is An Optimist
Here’s a story we missed in November: Just a year after the removal of four aging hydroelectric dams whose electric output was far outweighed by the ecological damage they did, “there are salmon everywhere” in the Klamath River. Michael Harris, California Department of Fish and Wildlife’s environmental program manager for the Klamath watershed, says, “The speed of their return is remarkable.” And he wasn’t talking about how quickly the little guys swim.
The dam removals were the culmination of decades of efforts by people from the Yurok, Karuk, and Klamath tribes to bring back the salmon that had virtually disappeared from the river, blocked by the dams for nearly a century. The dams didn’t just stop fish from getting upstream, they also had a terrible impact on the river’s water quality and temperature. But eventually, between 2022 and 2024, the dams were removed, and the tribes, with the help of nonprofits and federal funding (ahem!), began a massive reseeding project. It involved some 2,000 pounds of native seeds from 98 different plant species that grow, or sometimes formerly did, in the river basin. Crews collected seeds by hand from 2018 until just before the dam removals. Then the seeds were sent to nurseries to propagate, resulting in tons more seeds and seedlings, and once each dam was removed, replanting and reseeding of the basin started. Some areas were reseeded by helicopter, but much of the work was done by hand, including the planting of seedlings. The goal of the revegetation effort is to “establish interconnected biologically diverse ecosystems” and to encourage the return of native species, including pollinators like the bees who got innovative premade habitats, to get started, from an outfit called BeeOdiversity. (NERDS!)
Long, inspiring story short, it worked. This fall, salmon were being tracked by tribes and state scientists not only in the Klamath, but also into several tributaries above Klamath Lake in Oregon, where they hadn’t been seen for generations. For good measure, biologists and restoration project partners are taking DNA samples to track the changes in fish populations as the salmon return to the area.
For another feel-good side of the river’s restoration, see this lovely Washington Post story (gift link) from August, about a group of 15 teens from the tribes along the Klamath (plus chaperones) who kayaked the entire 310-mile length of the Klamath from its headwaters in Oregon all the way to its mouth in California. It took a month to do, and was the first descent of the full river possible in 100 years. The trip was also the focus of a documentary by Oregon Public Broadcasting.
Okay, we hate to mention this, but we gotta: It’s a good thing that the restoration project got off to such a strong start, with much of its funding coming from the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law, because in October, the Trump administration cut off $2.1 million in remaining grant money for Klamath restoration, claiming that the projects “no longer align with U.S. Fish and Wildlife priorities.” Rivers are DEI, we guess, especially if the people restoring the land are Native Americans. The Mid Klamath Watershed Council and other partners are now looking for alternate funding.
(subheading stoled from “Lisa” on Bluesky, OPB documentary via “Unmitigated Gaul” on Bluesky, and ht to Joel Hanes on Bluesky for the info on the tribes’ revegetation efforts AND a neat book tip!)
2. Americans Are Saying NO To Trump All Over
Yeah, yeah, this is one of those good things that’s only necessary because of some truly horrible stuff, but we’ll take our good news where we find it. In poll after poll, in rally after rally, and most importantly, in election after election, Americans are rejecting Trump and Trumpism in huge numbers. Governors of blue states keep giving Trump and his ICE goons the finger at every opportunity. Nobody likes Trump or his policies except the hardcore Trumpers, and the administration knows it. So keep blowing whistles on ICE, keep refusing to serve the goons lunch, keep refusing to sing for the Mad King, and keep pushing back against the madness at every opportunity.
3. As Popes Go, Pope Bob’s Pretty Good!
After JD Vance maybe killed Pope Francis (some say!) just by being in his presence, the College of Cardinals elected Robert Prevost of Chicago, USA, as the new Woke Marxist Pope, which is great because you can sing that to the tune of “Pink Pony Club.” We just like calling him Pope Bob so much that we actually had to look up his official name, “Pope Leo XIV.”
Pope Bob quickly incurred the wrath of MAGA loons because he said un-Christian things like “immigrants are human beings,” and “don’t execute people,” and “climate change is real,” and how can you even claim to love Christ if you don’t recognize that public executions are part of God’s plan? He even said that poverty is not poor people’s fault, and that the poor shouldn’t be treated as lesser human beings, and that really upset the prosperity gospel types. Then all the weirdos got on Twitter and posted pictures of a muscular handsome Jesus with a hammer, and called Pope Bob a heretic for not recognizing that poor people are lazy and bad and have it coming, just like they imagine Jesus said.
4. Most People Are Actually Pretty OK If Given The Chance (But Don’t Trust Phone Scammers)
Oh look, we did that one right after Christmas, and in case you missed it, here it is again, and with the cat story we now have five good things, so we’ll retcon that as number 1 and call it a day. So long, hope you enjoyed the fish.
[En.philenews (Cyprus) / Guardian / Active NorCal / RES Progress / Redheaded Blackbelt / OPB / WaPo (gift link) / OPB /
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Happy New Year, my beloved Wonkers. May 2026 bring better days, and may we hold the memory of those we've lost in our hearts as we step forward into the New Year.
Thank you Dok, this is just what we need. Flossie's story brought me great joy, and I may be speaking for all the cat lovers of Wonkette in that.