James Comer Gonna Make Joe Biden Sit In This Chair ‘Til He Tells Congress What He Did!
Joe Biden knows what he did! Tell 'em what you did! Jingle jangle jingle jangle jingle jangle banjo banjo STRUUUUUUUUUUM.
Rep. James Comer has invited President Joe Biden to testify in Congress about, um, whatever it is that Rep. James Comer has been hallucinating that Joe Biden did. Nobody knows. It’s not like he has any actual evidence of literally anything. Nobody’s really sure what the allegation even is.
Just look at the last hearing. And the ones before that. And every Fox News appearance he’s made. And every time he’s stapled his own dick to the wall trying to make “impeachment” happen, because we guess that is his kink.
We are physically unable to compile all the important James Comer Shits The Bed stories we’ve written, here is a sampling and just hit that search bar above if you need more Comer crack.
THESE FOR INSTANCE.
Now this windsock Deliverance stuntman has sent Joe Biden — the president of the United States — a letter asking/begging/demanding he come SIT RIGHT HERE and confess to Congress. He suggests April 16 might be a good day, but — get this — Comer is willing to work with Joe Biden’s schedule. Isn’t that precious?
House Committee on Oversight and Accountability Chairman James Comer (R-Ky.) today is offering President Joe Biden the opportunity to testify at a hearing in furtherance of the House of Representatives’ impeachment inquiry and is calling on President Biden to answer questions about his participation in his family’s pay-for-influence schemes.
LOL shut up, you Kentucky fried pisshole.
You can read the full letter if you want, or you can skip that if you’re worried you might injure yourself laughing. Spoiler, it’s so embarrassing Comer even mentions in his press release the $40,000 he thinks is the SMOKING GUN!11!!1 that proves China is paying Joe Biden to (collect underpants?) (???) (profit?).
Because as we all know, the standard cost of an international bribe is $40,000. You can pay it in cash, or you can buy the recipient a reasonably well-equipped RAV4. International bribe recipients like a nice RAV4 as much as anybody else.
The White House has of course been pissing itself laughing ever since Comer announced he would be doing this:
“Comer knows 20+ witnesses have testified that POTUS did nothing wrong. He knows that the hundreds of thousands of pages of records he’s received have refuted his false allegations,” White House spokesperson Ian Sams posted on X last week after the Kentucky Republican announced he would be inviting the president. “This is a sad stunt at the end of a dead impeachment. Call it a day, pal.”
Bless James Comer’s dipshit heart. Many of his fellow Republicans hate him and think (know) he’s a moron. They all know James Comer isn’t going to successfully impeach fuckall.
Hell, even Comer knows he’s likely stapled his own dick to the impeachment wall for the last time, and has in recent months started pretending he never wanted to impeach Joe Biden in the first place, but rather his true goal has always been criminal referrals. For what? He does not know.
He would vote for his impeachment of Joe Biden, though! You know, if he ever wrote up some articles.
Alas.
Pretty sure we’re just gonna have to sit here and listen to Comer babble about this until he exhausts himself.
If he was our dad we’d make him live in the outhouse.
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Comer exudes so much incel DEBATE ME! energy, it’s just sad.
Maybe the real impeachment was the friends we made along the way.