Jenna Ellis Flips In Arizona Fake Electors Case
Good co-conspirators can be so hard to find!
Well, well, well, look who’s turned state’s evidence … again! It’s weepy Jenna Lynn Ellis, that former Trump lawyer who rode behind Rudy Giuliani’s pooter-toot express after the 2020 election, pushing the fake-elector-scheme and honking on Twitter and various cable talk shows about how Trump did too have sooo much evidence of election fraud, but he can’t show it to anybody yet, because it’s super secret for some reason. But he will soon, any day now, you betcha!
But there was no evidence, it was all made up, and now 35 people have been indicted in four states for election frauding. And Jenna Ellis is now officially the smartest and most pleadingest of them all!
Whatever Ellis has been telling Arizona state Attorney General Kris Mayes’s office about her 17 co-defendants in Arizona, it’s been meaty enough to get all of her charges dropped, so long as she keeps cooperating. Mayes said in a statement: “Her insights are invaluable and will greatly aid the State in proving its case in court.” Oh RLY? Tea emoji, eyeballs emoji! 🍵🫖 👀!
Here’s the agreement! How times have changed! Ellis was so loyal to Team Treason all the way through the January 6 hearings in ‘22 that she pleaded the 5th like 200 times.
And what did it get her? A case of COVID from marinating in Rudy’s farts! And then after she got indicted for election frauding for Trump in Georgia in ‘23, the world’s most poundfoolish man refused to pay her legal bills, while he shoveled cash from his PAC to other defendants, right in her face. So welcome to the underside of the bus, suckaa!
Ellis drew on her inner strength, and found the evidence of election fraud she’d been looking for was inside her, all along.
She pleaded guilty to one felony in Georgia, and agreed to pay $5,000 restitution, write a vewwy sowwy letter to the citizens, serve five years of probation, and testify against all her co-defendants. (She got a reprieve on the last one, as the Georgia case is stayed pending a hearing in front of a three judge all-Republican panel for exploring new ways to call Fani Willis a whore.) Ellis’s Colorado law license got suspended for three years. And she raised $220k with a GoGriftMe account. But that’s not nearly enough to cover years of litigation. Not even with her right-wing conspiracy theory podcast income on the side, no matter how many times she claims a lady boxer is really a man.
And then, this April, she and 17 other schemers got indicted in Arizona on counts of Conspiracy, Fraudulent Schemes And Artifices, Fraudulent Schemes and Practices, and Forgery, with a healthy serving of nine felony counts for her. So no wonder she was like, so long and thanks for all the farts.
Who might Ellis have been dishing on in Arizona? There’s four of her former co-defendants from Georgia: Giuliani, Mark Meadows, John Eastman and Mike Roman (he’s also indicted in Wisconsin!). And there’s also some new faces! We’ve got Eric’s buddy Boris Epshteyn, Turning Point USA CEO Tyler Bowyer, two Arizona state senators who are members of the “Freedom Caucus,” and 10 other assorted fake electors. You can see their fraudy signatures here.
Big Boss Treasontits is in the Arizona indictment, but as an unnamed “unindicted co-conspirator number one.” Might that change? His paws sure are everywhere!
Back in ‘22, Former Speaker of the AZ House of Representatives Rusty Bowers testified to the US House January 6 Select Committee that Trump and Roodles rang him up thirstily and repeatedly, urging him to hold hearings in the Arizona statehouse over made-up election fraud. But they refused to provide any evidence of said fraud! But still they were on him like a coonhound tick, harassing him to decertify Arizona’s election results, while Bowers kept refusing.
Sadly, there don’t appear to be recordings of any of those perfect phone calls of Trump and Roodles begging Bowers to save them, the way there was with Brad Raffensperger in Georgia. If only!
Still, now that Jenna Ellis has been ratting, maybe someday we’ll hear more about the extent of the attempted Trump-related fuckery that went down in late ‘19 in the Grand Canyon State.
She has made a statement:
We are grateful the Arizona Attorney General’s Office completely dismissed the indictment against Jenna Ellis as she was not involved in the so-called ‘fake elector’ scheme. Jenna was originally told she was not a target and her cooperation is her continued willingness to tell the truth.
Sounds great, can’t wait! Let’s get this case on the calendar with a judge, Maricopa County!
"Ellis drew on her inner strength, and found the evidence of election fraud she’d been looking for was inside her, all along. "
Dance as if nobody's watching, and sing like your freedom depends on it, gurl.
Oh the fraud'll come out tomorrow, betcher bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be fraud.
Maybe the real friends where the Rootles tootles we smelt along the way.
Follow me for more inspirational posters for terrible lawyers with dubious moral compasses and weird religio-culty tendencies.
It’s weird that a 4 time indicted, 34 count convicted felon, violent coup plotter and fake elector schemer is not only still in this race but still stands a chance at winning.
But Joe had to go because “we have standards for the presidency”. I’m not mad at that I’m just saying this whole thing is weird AF.