Back in the Before Times, the middle weeks of August, when Congress wasn’t in session, used to actually have slow news days. The late summer was also called “the silly season” in Britain because Parliament wasn’t sitting, and Funkadelic hadn’t yet arrived. Now the merry-go-round keeps going faster, so that everyone needs to hang on tighter, just to keep from getting thrown to the wolves.
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Oh heck, we forgot to put Wednesday’s Nice Times closing post in Wednesday’s Wonkette One-A-Day, so here it is now! New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani held a “Parents’ Night Out Event” with free babysitting last weekend, so parents could enjoy a little quiet time. Rightwingers who can’t shut up about family values were outraged by all the communism.
Wonkette’s Thursday began, as always, with Tabs, featuring a provocative headline and a gif of a hungry bunny rabbit.
Lindsay Graham’s sister doesn’t know anything about Taiwan, but she does know who she’s supposed to hate, and that’s all voters expect of her.
The Natalie Imbroglio continued, and somehow managed to get stupider, with the disturbing revelation that Donald Trump is “post-sex.” Ew.
Wonkette photojournalist guy Dominic Gwinn brought us a photo essay on Great Leader’s many, many uglification projects in DC. Ew again!
Dearborn, Michigan, was treated to another far-right social media influencer’s gross attempt to do a hate rally against Muslims, and the good people of Dearborn had a message for the Nazi punks. (Spoiler: the message was “Fuck off.”) And hey, why does Republican Senate candidate Mike Rogers have one of the Nazi rally organizers on his “Faith Coalition Leadership Team”?
RFK Jr. has started a YouTube cooking show to teach Americans how to feed a family of four nutritious meals for less than $20, as long as by “20 dollars” you mean “actually a bit over $70.” Funny how stores won’t sell you just 84 cents worth of olive oil!
Yr Wonkette loves you. Stay cool if you can, and don’t let RFK Jr. teach your kids to do math.
George Clinton came down in the Mother Ship with a message for Doc and all Wonketters: Paint the White House Black! Bow-wow-wow-diddy-oh-diddy-ay/Bow-wow-diddy-oh-diddy-ay! (Ain’t nothin’ but the dog in me!)
.. wonder if what the right really hates about godless socialism is that we tempt them with gifts while they do it with fire & brimstone (& not much else, based on the evidence) 🥸🤔🤨😅🧐😼