Trump’s DOJ Persists In Trying To Convict Sandwich
And oops, Greg Bovino lied about getting hit in the balls.
Key to Donald J. Trump and crew’s dismantling of democracy is flipping the bird to the justice system that they feel has wronged him, and what better way than to beleaguer the courts than with his personal squad of underqualified, inexperienced, often former(-ish) personal defense attorneys, led by alleged Trump bribe-taker and the former(?) lobbyist for Qatar, Pam Bondi. This club has everything: illegal appointments, a failed beauty queen, a blowsy talk show host, and a whole lot of nasty attitude.
But this troop of fascist-humping losers sure are having a credibility problem with most courts. Every court except the Supreme Court, that is. Which has already given Trump unitary plenary executive authority to just go lock up whomever he wants by royal decree, or even get Seal Team to shoot whomever he wants in the face on Fifth Avenue, and they have overturned multiple lower courts at every turn to make his will so.
But for whatever reason, maintaining some kind of a legal fig leaf remains important to him. Guess he figures if the shooting starts, the rioting starts for real, and he and his Project 2025 Mandate unfuckables like Kevin Roberts aspire for the second American Revolution to “remain bloodless if the Left allows it to be.”
And shootouts are not Bone Spurs’ personal style. Since his days coming up as an acolyte of Roy Cohn, Trump has always used the court system as his personal cudgel to punish his detractors and send a warning to others. A conviction has never been the point! It is about slowly bleeding people with legal fees, and making them an example to others. So he and his squad will push, push the envelope of what they can legally get away with, chipping away as they can.
And, strange as it may sound, credibility matters to him to a degree, as we learned when Trump publicly whined to Pam Bondi on his shitty web site that her DOJ needed to hurry up and indict some of his enemies because the lack of locking people up was “killing” his “reputation and credibility.” But trying to convince juries to lock up everybody the government wants to charge isn’t working out too well. Humiliatingly badly, in fact!
In Washington DC, former Fox News host/current US Attorney for the District of Columbia (shudder) Jeanine Pirro is having a sloshing old time getting protestors locked up for sassing ICE agents. At least seven grand juries so far have told her to fuck on off.
Including one empaneled back in August to try to get local hero Sean C. Dunn charged with a FELONY carrying a sentence of up to eight years in prison for throwing his sandwich at an ICE chud who was skulking on the corner. But the Grand Jury told her NO SALE, even though the entire incident was filmed, and Dunn confessed to police immediately: “I did it. I threw a sandwich.”
She’d crinkled her crow’s feet and cawed at the time, “This guy thought it was funny — well, he doesn’t think it’s funny today, because we charged him with a felony.”
But hardeeharrhar, the grand jury 86’d her ham-handed and half-baked attempt. And then probably after squeezing the last drops from a box of Sutter Home, she came right on back with her battle-ax and charged Dunn with a misdemeanor, allowing her office to skip embarrassing themselves in front of another grand jury. Because there’s no more serious crimes deserving of the courtroom, apparently!
And so now Judge Moxila Upadhyaya and a jury are now on a third day of considering the case of misdemeanor assault by sandwich.
In court, lawyers tried to drum up sympathy for poor, assaulted Border Patrol officer Gregory Lairmore, who himself sounded reluctant to be cast in the role of victim of assault and reportedly often laughed along with how stupid it all was. Lairmore was not injured, but he testified that he felt the impact through his ballistic vest.
The sandwich came apart and “kind of exploded” on his chest upon impact, he said.
“I could smell the onions and mustard.”
But, queried the defense attorney, did the sandwich really explode? He showed a photo of the sandwich and wrapper on the ground.
“That sandwich hasn’t exploded at all, has it?” defense asked.
“It looks like a little bit is coming out towards the bottom,” Lairmore suggested, hopefully.
Even Lairmore’s Border Patrol dickbag co-workers recognized what a dumb joke the whole “assault” was, tucking a plush sandwich labeled “Felony Footlong” into Lairmore’s lunch box.
Is Jeanine Pirro going to squeeze a misdemeanor out of this farce from a DC jury? Outlook not good!
And in Illinois, another protestor just got their charges dismissed after the Commander of Border Patrol, Gregory Bovino, was caught lying. WHAAT? Bovino had claimed that on October 3, a protestor outside of the Broadview ICE facility named Cole Sheridan whacked him in his love spuds so hard that he needed two weeks to recover and an MRI (of his testicles or brain is unclear). And Bovino, who was supposed to have his body camera on, did not even possess one!
Surprisingly, though, another agent did have a camera that was on. And what do you know, the incident was nothing like Bovino had described. In fact, the Border Patrol agents appeared to have put hands on Sheridan first, imagine that, and the next scene was Sheridan on the ground with Bovino on top of him. And though Bovino had claimed to be wounded, requiring two weeks of bed rest, he went on to make multiple television appearances that very night. You can see why ICE hates body cameras.
And so the DOJ dropped Sheridan’s charges when it was obvious that dog was not going to hunt.
Meanwhile, Bovino is due back in federal Judge Sara Ellis’s courtroom today, to explain why his goons keep defying her orders.
And in the Eastern District of Virginia, where Pam Bondi just retroactively double-appointed Lindsey Halligan to go after James Comey, John Bolton, and Letitia James, here’s a twist! A judge told Halligan to comply with discovery about the very obviously selective and vindictive prosecution of James, and Halligan made a motion for the Biden-appointed US District Judge Jamar Walker to go fuck himself, we don’t have to, respectfully.
The Court’s instruction is premature as the Government bears no such obligation until a defendant “overcomes a significant barrier by advancing objective evidence tending to show the existence of prosecutorial misconduct.”
Go on, failed beauty queen who has never prosecute a case before, you tell that judge how you know the law better than he does!
And so that’s how THAT has been going.
So much for Bondi rescuing that credibility!
[Wednesday Journal / US v. Letitia James filing / Talking Points Memo]
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Stupid fascists remain stupid.
A fact for which we must remain grateful.
/Narrator: No Balls in evidence/