Where Were You When You Heard Dershowitz Switched Parties? Wonkette One-A-Day, April 21, 2026
Alan Dershowitz, the “liberal establishment” lawyer who has been humping Donald Trump’s leg like a needy chihuahua since 2017, finally announced today that he’s become a Republican. Truly, one of those epochal moments in America, like the final episode of Manimal or the day the Ms. Pac Man machine at the laundromat got a new high score, ending the reign of the enigmatic “ZYZ.” Remember it, or don’t.
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The day started as usual, with Tabs (including Dersh news) and an adorable .gif of a babby elephant!
Gary brought us up to date on the latest Trump cabinet member to get the boot, and isn’t it funny how so far it’s been women getting quitfired, while terrible men keep their jobs? What a funny old world!
Evan gave Alan the Full Dershowitz, to mark this important turning point in American politics.
Dok gave the New York Times a good talking-to for its disingenuous fretting over Democrats actually fighting back against Donald Trump’s gerrymandering. Wouldn’t it be more ethical to lose nobly?
Marcie brought us the tale of two horrible Republicans fighting to smear each other as the most despicable fraudy grifter! Can’t we just hope for two knockouts?
And Evan closed out the day with a reminder that while telling Fox News anchor Greg Gutfeld to go fuck himself won’t solve all our problems, it would certainly solve our Greg Gutfeld problem.
Yr Wonkette loves you, and we’ll see you again tomorrow!
Ah yes, Dershowitz: I once walked past him in Harvard Square. He is literally the size of a troll.
Writing this disaster.
https://thistleandmoss.com/p/what-survives-the-morning-the-ceasefire-expires-tomorrow-the-oaks-don-t-care-what-he-decides