Can This Miami US Attorney Snatch 'Best Trump Asslicker' Tiara Right Off Lindsey Halligan's Head?
And can he at long last find the DEEP STATE CONSPIRACY that framed Donald Trump for Russia, Russia, Russia?
Lots of articles out there about how the Department of Justice and FBI are a total clownshow/shitshow right now.
There’s the Washington Post, which is reporting on how the DOJ has lost “thousands” of qualified people, through politically motivated firings, retribution, resignations and more, and they’re just not getting replaced. It turns out the Venn diagram of people who are MAGA loyalists willing to suck Donald Trump’s butt 24/7 and people who are actually qualified to work at the DOJ is not a Venn diagram at all, it’s just a picture of two great big totally unrelated boobies, or two other circle-shaped things that aren’t touching.
They are begging for people to apply. It used to be kids from the top law schools all wanted to work at the DOJ, it was considered a prestigious thing to do, despite the low salaries. Not with the Blonde Shitnose in charge. US attorneys are literally begging former prosecutors to maybe come back. Said one who worked as a prosecutor in Chicago decades ago, and who recently got hit up: “I was astonished. I have never seen anything like that. When I came to the US attorney’s office, I had won 13 state murder prosecutions, and I still thought I had such a slim chance of getting a job because it was such an ultracompetitive place. […] Now it’s like, ‘If you ever threw a pass, do you want to be a quarterback?’”
How utterly predictable.
Meanwhile, the humiliating Kash Patel stories keep coming, and we’re not just talking about all the stories of him jetting back and forth to Nashville on his taxpayer-funded private plane because he allegedly has a girlfriend and she’s a pretty lady allegedly who allegedly has intercourse with him allegedly right on his very penis allegedly because of how she chose to be his girlfriend of her own free will allegedly because she allegedly thinks he’s a real hot guy allegedly allegedly.
THIS ONE!
There’s also the thing in the New York Times about how Kash reportedly promised the chief of MI5 in the UK that he would protect the job of an FBI agent stationed in London whom MI5 viewed as crucial to their national security, and Kash looked him in the eyes and made that promise, and then proceeded to immediately go back on that promise. And MI5 is so pissed off about it that they’re talking to the New York Times about how horrified they are to be betrayed by their alleged top ally like this.
(Another related breaking story, not about DOJ/FBI, but involving the Trump dissolution of the relationship between the US and the UK, is that the UK has stopped sharing intel with the US on Caribbean matters because they don’t want to be part of Secretary Shitfaced and his big Microdick “Drug Boat” Murder Spree.)
Yeah, these Trump traitors, pigfucks and morons are really covering themselves in glory.
Here’s another one. It looks like Lindsey Halligan, the hairsprayed dimwit insurance lawyer from the Eastern District of Virginia making worldwide headlines for her hilarious bumblefucking of the evidence-free prosecutions of James Comey and Letitia James for completely imaginary crimes, has some competition in the “dumb fucking idiot willing to throw away their entire career for a chance to cover their noses with whatever Pam Bondi’s is covered with” department.
This is Jason A. Reding Quiñones, US attorney for the Southern District of Florida, and yikes.
MSNBC reported yesterday that Reding Quiñones had to call a hasty division-wide meeting yesterday, we are guessing to try to administer some loyalty oaths or root out any Deep Staters who value legal ethics more than they value bathing Donald Trump’s colon with their tongues. Two prosecutors had just resigned, because they wouldn’t participate in Reding Quiñones’s “conspiracy” investigation into the investigation into Dear Leader Trump for his campaign’s various coordinations with Russian government officials in the leadup to the 2016 election.
Which happened. According to the Republican-led Senate Intelligence Committee then chaired by Marco Fucking Rubio.
But wait! Hasn’t that been investigated a whole bunch of times? Didn’t all the braindeads like Sean Hannity spend years breathlessly masturbating to fantasies that John Durham’s investigation was going to FIND THE CONSPIRACY, and instead all he did was file a couple of bullshit low-level cases, which he subsequently lost?
Didn’t the inspector general look into this? Hasn’t every inbred yokel with a congressional gavel wasted years of their already sad lives trying to find something, anything, to blow it all wide open and prove that the Deep State and Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama and Peter Strzok and Lisa Page framed Donald Trump and made him look like an idiot and a Russian asset?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.
Anyway, MSNBC reported that everybody at the Southern District of Florida was on “pins and needles” over the meeting called by big stupid Jason Reding Quiñones, people worried he was going to try to make them work on his new investigation into the chicken that Donald Trump has fucked so many times it’s no longer recognizable as a chicken.
At least one of the prosecutors who’s already resigned did so because they “felt like there was something they could not take part in because it would violate their ethical responsibilities,” per MSNBC’s source.
As MSNBC notes, Reding Quiñones’s office had sent out, and Lady Shitnose’s Main Justice had approved, 30 subpoenas on Friday. For whom? Former CIA Director John Brennan! Former DNI James Clapper! The FBI loooooooovers Strzok and Page!
Who signed the subpoenas, at least some of ‘em? Some bitch in HR named Manolo. (To be fair, some bitch in HR is Executive Assistant United States Attorney Manolo Reboso, third in command at SDFL, but MSNBC provides the context that “typically, that role oversees office operations and human relations matters.” Hence, some bitch in HR named Manolo. And importantly, NOT LINE PROSECUTORS, which is how it works when it’s a real case.)
What were the subpoenas for? Well, you know, just anything! Just anything they have about the intelligence community’s assessment that Russia was skullfucking the 2016 US election for the benefit of Trump, and to hurt Hillary Clinton. Yes, the same assessment Russia’s girlfriend/least qualified DNI in American history Tulsi Gabbard has been shamelessly lying about the better part of this year.
Of course, one problem with looking for that kind of information with these subpoenas, per MSNBC:
Those kinds of documents, the source familiar said, were so highly classified that they “would be in the possession of the government.”
Oh. So in other words, it’s kind of like when Kash Patel’s FBI ordered employees to search their cubicles for any smoking gun evidence about Amelia Earhart’s disappearance, upon the White House’s demand, in case they found anything lying around (that might help distract people from the Epstein Files cough cough).
AKA, totally “performative,” as MSNBC’s source described it.
But wait, it gets better, hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, take it away, New York Times:
Some of the people who have reviewed the subpoenas said they did not mention specific crimes being investigated. Most federal crimes have a five-year statute of limitations, and offenses must be charged in a venue where the conduct occurred. It is not clear how the preparations of the intelligence assessment, which took place in and around Washington, would be connected to Florida, apart from Mr. Trump’s residence there.
Subpoenas did not mention crimes? Literally anything they find (they won’t find anything) would be almost certainly past the statute of limitations? (Even Robert Mueller’s investigation was over in 2019.) How is the chlamydia-filled swamp next to Donald Trump’s trash palace the appropriate venue for any of this? (They literally think that the venue is perfectly legal and cool because that’s where Mar-a-Lago is.)
Told you this dipshit Reding Quiñones is vying for Lindsey Halligan’s position in the puppy pile.
The New York Times reported Friday that this appears to be a case of fucking MAGA idiots on the internet rubbing sticks together trying to find a Trump prosecutor stupid enough to take up their case, working backward from the foregone conclusion that “A cabal of Democrats and ‘deep-state’ operatives, possibly led by former President Barack Obama, has worked to destroy Mr. Trump in a yearslong plot spanning the inquiry into his 2016 campaign to the charges he faced after leaving office.”
Derp, found one.
We feel like yappy MAGA pitbull Mike Davis has been saying “justice is coming” for a real long time, but sure, maybe this Miami mouthbreather will be the one to TOTALLY stick the landing.
Or at the very least, he’ll help Grandpa Dementia Britches in the Oval Office feel reassured that somebody’s gonna get Obama and Hillary one of these days, just you wait and see!
It’s all part of keeping the hospice patient comfortable.
[New York Times / MSNBC]
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So Donald is the dog that didn’t bark, eh. And he knew about the girls because he told Ghislane to stop, eh. And he spent hours and hours alone with one of them, in Epstein’s house, eh.
My shocked face. We all know Donald at that time was pretty much incapable of spending even five minutes alone with a vulnerable female without assaulting her.
If you're an amoral lolyer who wants to flush your legal career down the drain, there's no better place to be than Maladministration 2.0!
But hey this whole shoddy prosecution has no actual crime in it. But it's *something.* It's *something.* Anything to distract from the pricktator being the co-star of the "files" of his scumbag-in-arms Jeffrey Epstein.