NY Times Shocked Trump Personal Lawyer AG Acting Like Trump Personal Lawyer
Every day is a new day!
We have given Glenn Thrush shit in the past for aggravated New York Times-ing, like this one time in 2017 when he was fairly convinced Hurricane Harvey was about to turn Donald Trump presidential, after Trump used “dulcet” and “reassuring” language about his upcoming trip to survey the wreckage. (Spoiler, Trump did not become presidential.)
Well here we are again, and here is Glenn Thrush at the New York Times, shocked that Todd Blanche, Donald Trump’s once and future personal fluffer, we mean personal lawyer, we mean (acting) attorney general, is acting like … Donald Trump’s once and future personal fluffer, we mean personal lawyer, we mean (acting) attorney general. What precedent is there for this, except [gestures wildly at literally everything]?
Here’s that headline:
Raise your hand if you thought “pushing back” was in Todd Blanche’s skillset, so that we may brand thee a dipshit.
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Once seen by some as the most conventional of President Trump’s political appointees, Todd Blanche has taken off the gloves in his new role as acting attorney general.
Once seen by whom, please? The White House press release transcribing department at the New York Times? We’re sorry, we understand they still call it the “newsroom.”
Todd Blanche, the acting attorney general, has tried to tread an ever-narrowing path between his role as a top Justice Department official and the job that got him there in the first place — as President Trump’s doggedly loyal former lead defense lawyer.
Did that ever-narrowing path include when he gave convicted child molester Ghislaine Maxwell a sweetheart deal that involved getting her moved to a Club Fed prison where she gets puppy playdates? Also when he went to visit her to ask her the stupidest questions imaginable, in order to try to elicit some kind of useful lie from her that would TOTALLY EXONERATE Donald Trump and make people stop asking about his role in the Epstein Files? (Which are named after Donald Trump’s favorite dead child rapist?)
Haha, no, because Glenn Thrush forgot to mention that in his entire piece! The piece about how surprising it is that Todd Blanche eats nothing but Donald Trump’s ass all day! And Glenn Thrush’s editor forgot!
Glenn Thrush continues:
Allies of Mr. Blanche thought he could achieve two seemingly irreconcilable goals when he was elevated to temporarily replace Pam Bondi after her ouster in April: restoring stability and competence to the department and taking a handful of actions that were sufficiently drastic to convince the boss he was tough enough to make his title permanent.
Well, Todd Blanche’s allies are morons then.
And yes, we know Blanche has been sorely upset with the incompetent oafs he’s been surrounded by at DOJ and elsewhere in the Trump administration. That does not mean he is himself competent. It just means these are a bunch of backbiting MAGA prisses who are always convinced of their own brilliance, even when they are currently the one fucking everything up.
So far, however, Mr. Blanche has exhibited few of the modest moderating tendencies he exhibited during more than a year as Ms. Bondi’s top deputy.
Modestly moderating Todd Blanche, having a modest cup of coffee with Ghislaine, moderately!
WHEN WAS THIS, GLENN? WHEN?
Under Mr. Blanche, the pace of investigations against Mr. Trump’s perceived enemies has accelerated — most strikingly, the indictment of the former F.B.I. director, James B. Comey, for posting on social media an image of seashells that prosecutors cast as threatening. Mr. Blanche has used his new perch to boost debunked election conspiracy theories promoted by the president.
But the moves that most starkly illustrated Mr. Blanche’s evolving approach came this week. In announcing on Monday a $1.8 billion fund that would benefit those who claim they were targeted by the federal government, he effectively forged a pipeline to funnel taxpayer money to Trump allies, among them supporters who ransacked the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021.
Yes, much approach, very evolving, starkly illustrated, that the man who’s used every station of the MAGA cross at which he’s kneeled to slob Trump’s knob is still doing that.
Thrush babbles a while about how shocking and unprecedented Trump’s $1.8 billion white terrorist secret Santa program and Blanche’s administration of it are, then gets back to his original thesis, not because he’s in the process of proving it, but we guess he thinks if he types it enough, it’ll be convincing:
Thus far, Mr. Blanche has not found any of Mr. Trump’s directives or requests sufficiently objectionable to offer his public defiance or resignation …
We’re sure Todd has a line he won’t cross, you betcha.
But Mr. Blanche has earned a reputation within the department as among the most conventional of Mr. Trump’s political appointees, at times seeking to counter moves, including some pushed by the White House, that he viewed as being unsupported by evidence or the law.
Oh my fucking God. Again, according to whom? Who in the department thinks this?
Is it because under Pam Bondi and Kash Patel, the DOJ and FBI sufficiently fired or hounded out of their jobs everyone with integrity and competence, leaving nothing but paste-eating MAGA incels and Nazis over there? Are they the sources who think Todd Blanche, who literally got his first Trump DOJ appointment because he did such a good job as Donald Trump’s personal lawyer, is normal?
WHO, GLENN? WHO?
Thrush does, at long last, try to offer a couple examples of Moderate Todd, like when he didn’t want to indict Letitia James because doggone it, they didn’t possess any evidence she had committed any sort of crime. He didn’t think Lindsey Halligan should try to dumbfuck her way through the first James Comey prosecution. He didn’t think they should immediately arrest Comey for “seashells.” He thought they should investigate James Comey for “seashells.”
Good old Reasonable Todd!
Finally, Thrush appears to be charmed by the fact that, instead of reading from a burn book like Pam Bondi, or having pathetic, try-hard temper tantrums like Kash Patel, Todd Blanche just comes into Senate hearings and sneers and bats his eyes while he plays dumb, splits hairs and lies through his teeth.
We are not personally charmed by that.
The acting attorney general, appearing at a subcommittee hearing, calmly parried hostile questions about the $1.776 billion fund. But his brow furrowed when he was asked to confront a core question by Senator Chris Van Hollen, a Democrat from Maryland.
He calmly parried! But then his brow furrowed!
“The fact that I used to be President Trump’s lawyer, is just a fact, but I’m the acting attorney general!” said an agitated Mr. Blanche, the former head of the president’s criminal defense team. “So don’t say the president’s former personal lawyer will do something — the acting attorney general will do something.”
Bless his heart, he was agitated!
Actually, in that moment Todd Blanche had a little crybaby temper tantrum, the meltdown of a milquetoast little MAGA troll realizing in real time that no one, and we mean no one, will ever respect him as a real lawyer ever again in his whole entire life.
Except Glenn Thrush, we guess.
Now write us something nice about how Donald Trump did a wet dementia fart and it made him presidential!
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Speaking of dems doing things, Rep Mark Pocan introduced Tax The Grift Act to heavily tax any payouts from the treason fund.
https://www.channel3000.com/news/rep-pocan-introduces-tax-the-grift-act/article_7822d222-87cb-49da-8e4b-c8eebf1ba9a8.html
He's my rep and I love him all to pieces.
I guess every day is a new day for the sweet summer children at the NYT.