Wonkette's News Of Today Was TWELVE DAMN POSTS Basking In The Debate!

End of day post roundup!

Photo by Dominic Gwinn

Guys, what a day we had at the Old Wonkette. Evan and Robyn and CripDyke and Dok and Dom and Marcie and … is that everyone? They just smashed out posts like they were Serena Williams making field goal baskets. Just damn!

Sorry I sent so many posts at you today, but I figured you’d want to make sure you saw them. Each one was a goddamn delight! And there were still more I didn’t send!

Without further ado!

First, last night we had Evan’s livebloog masterpiece!

Drink Every Time Kamala Harris Calls Trump A Felon! Your Debate Liveblog

And he wrote that from a PARTY! How? I don’t know!

There were my tabs, non-debate-related because of the vagaries of the space-time continuum.

Oh No, You Forgot. Tabs, Wed., Sept. 11, 2024

Robyn, A HERO, had this ready to go for us before she even went to bed last night!

THE TAYSWIFT ENDORSEMENT HAS DROPPED!

And now we begin our takes on the 10 most hilarious parts of the debate. Get ready!

This is not hilarious actually, it is a blood libel.

JD Vance Encourages Supporters (And Donald Trump) To Claim Haitians Eat Pets Even Though It's A Lie ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also not hilarious, now that I think about it.

Trump Got Involved With The Taliban Because They Were Doing The Killing

Absolutely beautiful photos, please treat yourself!

Kamala Harris's Totally Awesome Post-Debate Party In The City Of Brotherly Love

It was WHEW!

Trump's Abortion Answer Was So Stupid We Had To Make A Flowchart About It

Now you will have #facts at the ready!

Debate Spent Two Minutes On Climate, And One Candidate Actually Talked About Climate

LOL.

Eight Times The Moderators Were Mean And Hurtful To Donald Trump, Very Meanly, Very Hurtfully

Not LOL. Not LOL at fucking all, you syph-brained dick.

After Debate, Trump Refuses To Apologize To 'Exonerated Five' Member, Delusionally Thanks Him For His Support

Tucker Carlson Golden Retriever Face:

Imagine Sending Your Illegal Aliens To Prison And They Come Home Days Later With An Operation

INNARESTING.

It’s Not Just That Kamala Harris Called Trump A Starf*cker For Dictators. It’s HOW She Did It.

And finally, Dok Doktor of Rhetoricked at you.

Five Times Kamala Harris Flawlessly Triggered That Idiot, By A Doktor Of Rhetoric

Please notice that of all the substackers and newsletterists who filled your inbox this morning with all their musings on the debate, Wonkette is the WORLD’S LAST WEBSITE employing all these magnificent humans at a decent wage (and fully paid healthcare!) to bring you not one thinkering but news and analysis ALL DAY LONG. And that’s ENTIRELY because of donors like you.

We never have a paywall and never will as long as I’m the owner of this mommyblog and banana stand, and yet we’re able to bring you all this joy and delight — and sometimes really rotten news that we suffer through together. We’ll for sure have some rotten news tomorrow! But today was truly special, some joy for the ages. And I’m so glad we get to bring it to you.

If you are able, pony up, suckers! And if you’re not able, we love you too.