Your Congress Boyfriend Dan Goldman Is Already Kicking The Sh*t Out Of Republicans' Fake Biden Impeachment
And he's having fun doing it, looks like.
When Republicans are doing anti-democratic, anti-American fascist shit like trying to impeach Joe Biden based on absolutely zero evidence, and also zero actual allegations, it’s nice to have dashing New York Democratic Rep. Dan Goldman around to humiliate them.
He’s always making fun of fake Republican whistleblowers and making them look like idiots to their face, or being hilariously dismissive of Marjorie Taylor Greene, who’s so stupid and unprepared for her job that she tries to make up imaginary parliamentary procedures.
He’s a lawyer, and he’s a smart and quick one. Indeed, he was the Democrats’ impeachment lawyer for Trump Impeachment The First, before he was in Congress. So he kind of knows his subject matter here, without having to do too much studying.
Goldman had some fun in the House Oversight Committee yesterday nailing the Republicans’ dicks to the wall and calling their clownass impeachment what it is.
Apparently two-faced Republican Rep. Nancy Mace had been vomiting words about following all their multitudes of evidence, so as Acyn reports at Meidas Touch, Goldman picked up there:
"I believe she stated that Joe Biden received bribes, committed money laundering, and was involved in a prostitution ring. She claims there are texts, emails, and phone calls, but then she says we should trust the evidence itself, and in that, I agree because the evidence itself shows absolutely no connection between Joe Biden and any of those allegations."
Yes, we feel that if Republicans had evidence of Joe Biden getting bribes and doing money laundering and being a pimp, that should be big news no matter your party affiliation.
Alas.
Addressing the hilarious excuse being trotted out by every pigfuck Republican right now, that they absolutely must do an impeachment inquiry in order to get the evidence Biden is holding back (LOL!), Goldman said, "The problem is not that they can't obtain the evidence; the problem they have is that the evidence does not support their allegations."
Alas.
And then he really jammed his foot up their asses and twisted it.
GOLDMAN: Why are we going to spend the next few months on a bogus and sham impeachment inquiry? Because Donald Trump wants them to, and Donald Trump has been calling them and urging them to do it because he was impeached twice.
One of those impeachments of Donald Trump was because he tried to extort the president of Ukraine to investigate Hunter Biden. The president of Ukraine refused. Unfortunately House Republicans don’t have the spine that President Zelenskyy has, and they are now doing Donald Trump’s bidding.
So in case any Republicans are out there unable to understand why literally no Democrats feel threatened by James Comer’s poop-juggling Kentucky Deliverance banjo show, or any other part of this fake “impeachment inquiry,” this might be a clue.
Seriously, you stupid cumstains. Please put this on TV throughout the presidential campaign, while Donald Trump racks up criminal convictions and prison sentences.
Goldman’s been all over the place making fun of Republicans’ garbage this week. He issued a scathing statement on Kevin McCarthy’s announcement of his fake impeachment inquiry, which serves as a nice companion to Democratic Rep. Jamie Raskin’s scathing letter on the failure of all the MAGA Republicans’ investigations. Here’s Goldman’s:
We like where he calls this “yet another abuse of power by House Republicans in their nakedly partisan quest to do the bidding of Donald Trump and distract from his 91 charged felonies.” It’s elegant wording.
On Jen Psaki’s MSNBC show, he made fun of how the Republicans have zero evidence against Biden. Minutes later, Ken Buck, the Republican House Freedom Caucus guy who keeps calling Marjorie Taylor Greene a dumb bag of hammers, agreed with him.
On Kaitlan Collins’s CNN show, Goldman noted how the Republican losers always use sleight of hand and say “Biden family” and hope you don’t notice they didn’t actually accuse Joe Biden of anything, since they have less than zero evidence about Joe Biden.
Yeah, it’s good to have Dan Goldman and Jamie Raskin and all the rest on our side.
Meanwhile, Republicans have that hillbilly James Comer and Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz and the rest of their Stranger Danger Caucus.
Oh, and Rudy Giuliani has generously offered them his services.
Pick your fighters, America.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
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Can Martini or someone make a gif of Goldman taking down McCarthy and the MAGA morons with the old Mortal Combat "FINISH HIM..." ending over the top?
The Idiots: The evidence is OVERWHELMING!
Us: OK, show it to us.
The Idiots: We need to have this inquiry to find the evidence!
Us: So how do you know it's overwhelming, then?
The Idiots:...
The Idiots:...
The Idiots: THE EVIDENCE IS OVERWHELMING!