Archive - Wonkette

Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Garage Sale!

Time to clean out the liquor cabinet.

15 hrs ago • Matthew Hooper

FIFA Peace Prize Winner Donald Trump Doing More Peace Again Definitely For Sure!

Did anyone tell Hamas and Israel their war is over?

18 hrs ago • Gary Legum

Trump Admin: 'Nearly Dead' No Excuse For Not Working For Your Medicaid

Under a new rule, even being under hospice care won't automatically exempt you from the new Medicaid work requirements.

20 hrs ago • Robyn Pennacchia

Trump Blanches At Blanche Confirmation Impasse, Will Take His Blanche And Go Home

He might try again after the two Republican Senate holdouts retire ... let's elect Democrats to their seats instead!

22 hrs ago • Doktor Zoom

Trump State Department Can’t Find [YOUR COUNTRY HERE] On Map

Yes, we said State Department.

23 hrs ago • Evan Hurst

Cocktober Comes Earlier Every Year. Tabs, Fri., July 31, 2026

Morning news roundup and things to read!

Jul 31 • Rebecca Schoenkopf

Elon Musk's War On 'The Odyssey' Going As Well As All Musk's Other Endeavors

Even Joe Rogan and Ben Shapiro have defected.

Jul 30 • Robyn Pennacchia

Dumb Blue States Should Have Voted Trump If They Were Going To Have Weather Emergencies

Suck it, losers.

Jul 30 • Gary Legum

Trump Regime Having Big Hissy Over French Calling Human Rights Abuser A Human Rights Abuser

Quelle horreur !

Jul 30 • Evan Hurst

Just Ahead Of Midterms, Trump Raises $$$ Of Medicare Drugs. Say, Do Old People Vote?

They don't if he won't let them. Problem solved.

Jul 30 • Doktor Zoom

Republicans Spend Day Having Angry Ivermectin Orgasms At Dr. Fauci

To be fair, some of them were hydroxychloroquine orgasms.

Jul 30 • Evan Hurst

And Verily Diddeth They Find Out. Tabs, Thurs., July 30, 2026

Morning news roundup! Things to read!

Jul 30 • Rebecca Schoenkopf

#nojs-banner { position: fixed; bottom: 0; left: 0; padding: 16px 16px 16px 32px; width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; background: red; color: white; font-family: -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol"; font-size: 13px; line-height: 13px; } #nojs-banner a { color: inherit; text-decoration: underline; } This site requires JavaScript to run correctly. Please turn on JavaScript or unblock scripts