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Wonkette Movie Night: MST3K The Mole People

'Peanut nostrils happy clams.'

4 hrs ago • ziggywiggy

Let's Make Some More Badass War Porn Murder Videos, Bro!

A guest post from Pete Hegseth

9 hrs ago • Gary Legum

With Reports Russia Is Giving Intelligence To Iran, Wonkette Asks: Is Trump Dead Yet?

11 hrs ago • Marcie Jones

Donald Trump's Best Economy In US History Sheds 92,000 Jobs, Smile Or Else!

On the upside, Trump spent yesterday morning trying to get Bill Maher fired.

13 hrs ago • Doktor Zoom

Happy National Flapjack/Cereal/Crown Roast Of Pork Day!

That's ... certainly a meal of some kind.

14 hrs ago • Robyn Pennacchia

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THE SPLIT: Chapter One

In which we meet our heroine and her dainty little gun.

All the rest of THE SPLIT!

All of them Katie

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What Hooper's drinking to survive the daily news.

Mar 6 • Matthew Hooper

Hey James Carville And Rahm Emanuel, It's Shut The F*ck Up Friday!

Please don't listen to James Carville and Rahm Emanuel, they are bad and stupid.

Mar 6 • Robyn Pennacchia

Did Abused Girl Once Almost Bite Donald Trump's Dick Off? Maybe, Could Be, Sounds Like It, Yeah.

If we had to read it, so do the rest of you.

Mar 6 • Gary Legum

Virginia's Got Some *Sic Semper Tyrannis* For Trump's Face!

With full blue house, Gov. Abigail Spanberger and Lege take his agenda head on.

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Wonkette Movie Night: MST3K The Mole People

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Marcie Jones

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Doktor Zoom

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Robyn Pennacchia

Happy National Flapjack/Cereal/Crown Roast Of Pork Day!

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Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Jet Pilot!

Evan Hurst

Judge Boxwine Won’t Put Joe Biden In Jail For ‘Autopen,’ Because Idiot

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Sunday Show Republicans Ready For WAR! WAR! WAR!

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Surprise, You Might Be Canadian And Not Even Know It!

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Featured

If You're Still Nothing But Incandescent Rage Over Minneapolis ICE Murder, Come Sit By Us

Let's talk about channeling that rage!

Jan 8 • Evan Hurst

Whom Shall America Bomb Next For Displeasing God-Emperor Trump?

Our fascist leader spent the weekend listing some options!

Jan 5 • Gary Legum

Everything About WTF With Venezuela That We Could Fit Into 1,600 Words Or Less!

Can we get some checks and balances over here? Ha ha, just kidding, that is not a thing anymore.

Jan 5 • Marcie Jones

Who Are The Heroes Of 2025? It's A LONG F*CKIN' LIST.

If you're doing anything tiny to fight fascism, you're on it.

Jan 1 • Evan Hurst

Wonkette

Wonkette

Wonkette is filthy, hilarious, liberal news. YOU CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Judge Boxwine Won’t Put Joe Biden In Jail For ‘Autopen,’ Because Idiot

Also because 'autopen' is not a crime, turns out.

Mar 6 • Evan Hurst

Sh*t Still Going Down. Tabs, Fri., March 6, 2025

Lemon, it's Wednesday.

Mar 6 • Rebecca Schoenkopf

Kristi Noem Leaving On A Sex Plane

Does Corey have to stay and be Markwayne Mullin's fuckpiece, or does he leave too?

Mar 5 • Doktor Zoom

Fortune Magazine, WaPo: Won't Someone PLEASE Think Of The Billionaires?

Your heart just breaks for them.

Mar 5 • Robyn Pennacchia

Top posts

Sounds Like Secretary Sh*tfaced Needs To Come On Home And Resign

Feb 14, 2025 • Evan Hurst

Is This What They Held Over Joni Ernst’s Head To Make Her Confirm Pete Hegseth?

Mar 5, 2025 • Evan Hurst

Jared Moskowitz Helps Republicans Accept That James Comer Might Not Never Find Hunter Biden's Dang-A-Lang

Mar 21, 2024 • Evan Hurst

Oh This Poor Dumb Trump Lawyer Trying To Defend Military Trans Ban In Court!

Mar 15, 2025 • Marcie Jones

Unfortunately For Us All, A Lot Of Trump Voters Do Actually Want This.

Feb 27, 2025 • Robyn Pennacchia

We Never Send Out This Newsletter

Republicans Find Rock Bottom In Texas With Rep. Tony Gonzalez

Grody Old Perverts, at it again.

Mar 5 • Marcie Jones

Trans Folks Stubbornly Continue To Exist In Kansas, Despite New Driver's License Law

Two bad news items and one good one. Come on in!

Mar 5 • Doktor Zoom

Guess Pete Hegseth Thinks Dead American Troops Are Suckers And Losers Too

Change our mind.

Mar 5 • Evan Hurst

Life During Wartime. Tabs, Thurs., March 5, 2026

Morning news roundup! Things to read!

Mar 5 • Rebecca Schoenkopf

Nice Time

Virginia Gov. Abigail Spanberger Launches De-Youngkinization On Day One

With a big middle finger to ICE and Trump, too.

Jan 20 • Doktor Zoom

Actual Nice Thing: Universal Child Care Is Coming To New York City

Mayor Mamdani and Governor Hochul are ready to make it happen.

Jan 9 • Robyn Pennacchia

New York Swept Up In Mamdanimania!

Note to dude who canceled his Wonk subscription with note 'Mamdani is an anti-Semite': Fuck off till you run out of road.

Jan 2 • Doktor Zoom

Nice Time: Hero Of Australian Mass Shooting Thanked With Great Big $1.65 Million Check

People just want to help.

Dec 26, 2025 • Doktor Zoom

Pete Hegseth Got New Call Of Duty, Mom Ordered Pizza, Says We Can Stay Up As Late As We Want

Later we can sneak into his dad's office and look at his Playboys!

Mar 4 • Evan Hurst

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Now Claims To Have ADHD, Continues To Have Insane Ideas About ADHD

He is, of course, self-diagnosed.

Mar 4 • Robyn Pennacchia

Day Five Of Operation Epstein Fury: Apocalypse Soonish

Democrats cluck while the world descends into chaos

Mar 4 • Marcie Jones

Recipe Hub

Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Jet Pilot!

What Hooper's drinking to survive the daily news.

Mar 6 • Matthew Hooper

Those Cakes We Like ... Really Want To Know What A 'Posset' Is

Today, we are solving mysteries!

Mar 1 • CakesWeLike

Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, 216 Tiger Soda!

A very, very complex competition cocktail.

Feb 27 • Matthew Hooper

Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Espresso Sunrise!

A pick me up to start a good weekend.

Feb 20 • Matthew Hooper

Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Recipe, GROG!

Your bartender has turned completely pirate for the weekend. Plunder some hearts and go drinking with him.

Feb 13 • Matthew Hooper

Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, King's Square Spritz!

Something tropical-minded for a winter that won't let go.

Feb 6 • Matthew Hooper

Those Cakes We Like ... Have Abandoned Their New Year's Resolution Already

It's healthy if it has fruit in it, right?

Feb 1 • CakesWeLike

Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Coffee And Cigarettes!

In which your bartender wanders abroad and is humbled.

Jan 30 • Matthew Hooper

New Years Eve

2025 Hero Of The Year: Zohran Kwame Mamdani!

Hope and glamor are back in New York City, baby!

Jan 1 • Marcie Jones

2025 Shitheels Of The Year: Trump’s Clown Car Cabinet

How can you pick just one?

Jan 1 • Marcie Jones

Who Are The Heroes Of 2025? It's A LONG F*CKIN' LIST.

If you're doing anything tiny to fight fascism, you're on it.

Jan 1 • Evan Hurst

2025 In Hungry, Hungry Leopards

Here, have some schadenfreude.

Jan 1 • Robyn Pennacchia

A Sober [Hic!] Assessment Of Pete Hegseth’s First (Last?) Year As Defense Secretary

WARFIGHTER! WARFIGHTER! WARFIGHTER!

Jan 1 • Evan Hurst

Five Things That Didn't Suck In 2025

Fairly sure we can find that many.

Jan 1 • Doktor Zoom

The Year Trump Made The White House Resemble A Tacky Russian Whorehouse

Which we suppose makes sense in a way.

Dec 31, 2025 • Gary Legum

2025: The Year The USA Got Infected With Both Measles And Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

One could cause hearing and vision loss, the other may make you pray for them.

Dec 31, 2025 • Robyn Pennacchia

2025: The Year In Trump Making Peace!

No more wars? No! More wars.

Dec 31, 2025 • Marcie Jones

2025 In What Did They Do To Their Face!

Time to be a catty bitch!

Dec 31, 2025 • Robyn Pennacchia

2025: The Year Big Oil's Investment In Trump Paid Off

Also the year Trump outlawed science, Project 2025 happened to the planet, and China became the climate's best hope.

Dec 31, 2025 • Doktor Zoom

2025 In Trump's Rotting Body

We just hope it hurts!

Dec 31, 2025 • Gary Legum

Hey! You could subscribe to Wonkette!

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