Sitemap - 2015 - Wonkette
2015: The Year Gay Became Mandatory And All The Christians Got Holocausted
We Sure Yelled At The Media A Lot This Year, For Sucking
2015: The Year Of Official Wonkette Baby Forever
2015: The Year Anti-Vaxxers Made Measles The New Black
The Year In Loser Governors Failing To Become President, Like A Bunch Of Losers
2015's Most Responsible Gun Owners: We've Got The Whole Year In Our Cold, Dead Hands
2015: The Year Bristol Palin Stole Kim Kardashian's Face, And Did A Lot Of Other Cool Stuff Too
Dear Jesus, What A Year 2015 Was! A Letter From Michelle Duggar
Everyone So Excited We Have To Talk About Bill Clinton's Penis Again
Wingnuts So Mad At Big Bad Joss Whedon, For Making Sweet Love To Planned Parenthood
Angry Dude Whips It Out At Sex Shop Over Broken Dingle-Dangle Pump
Ted Cruz's Fundie Dad Thinks God Did Bang-Up Job Writing U.S. Constitution
Bill Cosby To Ring In New Year From Jail, Maybe
Mean ACLU Won't Let Hospital Refuse Ladyparts Care For Jesus Reasons
Virginia Republican Bets Gov. Might Appreciate Guns More If We Let Someone Shoot Him
That One Republican You Didn't Mind So Much Quits Pretending He's Gonna Be President
Two Whole Tens Of Minorities Line Up Behind Donald Trump
Dude Caught Boning Goat, But It Probably Wasn't Erick Erickson, Unless It Was
Here Are Some Cool Ways Corporations Screw The Poor Out Of Healthcare
Oregon Bigot Bakers Cave To Big Gay, Probably Getting Eated By Lions Right Now
Chicago Cops Can't Stop Shooting Black People Dead For Some Reason
Texas Lady Told God To Send Tornadoes To Different Neighborhood And He Was Like 'OK'
How Many Mosques Did You Burn For Jesus's Birthday? (Updated)
Warren Buffett's Mobile Home Company Just Loves To Be Racist To Everyone
Jeb Bush Begs Donald Trump To Pick On Him Some More Please
Spoiled Rich Kid 'Affluenza' Killer Busted Being Spoiled Rich Kid In Mexico, Oops!
Ben Carson: Running For President Is Haaaaard
Grand Jury Decides Cop Had No Choice But To Shoot 12-Year-Old Tamir Rice Dead, Oh Well
Feminist Hero Donald Trump Wishes Bill And Hillary Wouldn't Be So Sexist To Ladies
Alabama Governor's Beachfront Mansion Remodel Is Most Important Crisis Facing Alabama
To Save Babies, Texas Murders HIV Funding At Planned Parenthood
Stories Of Disastrously Inept Food Service Employees
David Duke Thinks Donald Trump Could Tone It Down A Notch
Peyton Manning Hires Ari Fleischer To Ensure No One Believes A Word He Says
Deleted Comments Of The Week: 'Wake Up And Smell The Cyanide, You Schmuck'
Here, Have A Lot More Star Wars Crap: Your Saturday Nerdout
Make Some Rum Balls, So We Can Get Sloshed Up In Here
Anna Duggar Wants You To Read Your Weekly Top Ten
Deleted Comment Of Christmas Past: Get Your Jews Out Of My Sacred Baby Festival!
Lo, Unto Bristol A Child Is Born: Hello, Sailor (Grace Eggnogg Palin)
Here's Your Wonkette Christmas Menu, To Put Inside Your Face
Mike Huckabee Dreams Of Sugarplums, Hillary's Vagina, For Christmas
Bryan Fischer Knows Dinosaurs Are Really Just Ginormous Grandma Bible Lizards
Old Wisconsin Lady Can't Sleep, What With ISIS Having Rough Sex Next Door
Meghan McCain Will Defend Ted Cruz's Jerk Babies From All Of You Apes
Kentucky's New Teabagger Gov. Matt Bevin Wasting No Time Screwing Voters, Poors
Florida Patriots Issue Fatwa Against Sheriff For Hiring Muslim Deputy
Does Ted Cruz Secretly Want To Gay Marry The Homosexuals?
Only Two Days Left To Steal Baby Jesus!
Fox News: President Obama Again Proves He's Out Of Touch By Stating Facts, Being Black
Bernie Sanders: Today We Are All Hillary's Disgusting Va-Jay-Jay
Chris Christie Vows To Win War On Terrorists And Toilets, For The Kids!
Convicted Felon Dinesh D'Souza Still Mad Obama Put Him In Jail Like A Common Felon
Here Is Your Heartwarming Christmas Tale Of Awful People Manipulating Poor Children
Ben Carson To Defeat Terrorists By Politely Telling Them To Cut That Out, Guys
Fox News Wondering If Maybe Hillary Knocked Chelsea Up For Political Reasons
No Indictments In Sandra Bland's Death. Guess Everything's Fine In Texas, Then
FDA Allows Gays To Donate Blood Now, But Only If They Promise Not To Gay
All Of America Boycotting Sam's Club For Hating White Men, Says Stupid White Man
Racists And History Nerds Join Forces To Save New Orleans Confederate Treasures
PolitiFact Lie Of The Year Is Every Single Word Out Of Donald Trump's Face Hole
Of Course Ted Cruz Is THAT Guy Who Will Spoil Star Wars
Donald Trump Can't Stop Thinking About Hillary Clinton And Schlongs
Anna Duggar Pretty Sure Jesus Will Keep It In Josh's Pants From Now On
Donald Trump Has Found His Next Wife!
Sarah Palin Guesses Atheist President Would Be Better Than ISIS, Oof Gosh!
Carly Fiorina Admits She Was Wrong, Which Proves She Was Right, So There
Jeb Bush: Winning Is For Losers
Stories Of Restaurant Customers Who Really, Really Weren't Supposed To Eat That
Lindsey Graham Dropping Out Of Race To Spend More Time Yelling 'Bye Felicia!' At ISIS
Focus On The Family Sure Demon Weed Made Robert Dear Shoot Up Planned Parenthood
Cops Called To New Mexico Governor's Loud Drunken Party, Somehow No Palins Involved
Epic Comment Fight Of The Week: NO ONE IS SAFE On Wonkette! (Trigger Warning)
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Butt Nekkid 'Gay Conversion' Clinic Gets Dressed, Closes Forever
Dirty Dirty Crude And Other Great Gifts From Your Corporate Overlords
Democrats In Disarray: Your Hardcore-Politics-Junkies-Only Democratic Debate Preview
Stop Snickering And Eat Gingerbread With Lemon Sauce
Ted Cruz's Ad Looks Just Like SNL's Fake Ads, Except Terrible, Not Funny
Congress Reaches New Levels of Suckitude With Funding Bill: A Wonksplainer
Donald Trump, Lying Carly Fiorina And War On Christmas RAGE! Your Weekly Top Ten
DNC And Bernie Sanders Campaign BFFs Again, Ready For Awkward Make-Up Sex
Mike Huckabee Sad Everyone Hates Him So Much, Even Jesus
Pharma Douchebro Martin Shkreli Ain't Got No Job No More :(
Bernie Sanders Did A Bad, Will Have To Sue His Way To The White House Now
Dr. Ben Carson Says Republicans' Brains Are Broken
Congress Votes To Keep America Running For At Least One More Year, Hooray!
How Do You Find Medical Marijuana In Faraway Lands? There's A Website For That!
New Orleans Kills Confederate Traitors All Over Again
Donald Trump Big Fan Of Vladimir Putin's Murderous Man Balls
Hero Parents Will Save Us All From The Terror Of Jihadi Handwriting
Canadian Ted Cruz Has Awesome New Slur For Foreigns
It Is Star Wars Day, Finally! Nothing Else Matters
No Cop Will Ever Go To Jail For Killing Freddie Gray
Uh Oh, White People, A Cop Shot A White Dude And Got Away With It
Shirtless Russian On Horse Has Yoooge Boner For Donald Trump
Sarah Palin Also Too Knows What It's Like To Have A Broken Brain
Poor Little 'Affluenza' Boy Violates Probation, May Have Fled America With ISIS Or His Mom
Scott Walker Finally Able To Ensure All Elections In Wisconsin Will Be Rigged
Pharma Douchestick CEO Martin Shkreli Arrested For Being Giant Douche, Also Fraud
Carly Fiorina Will Not Be Swayed By Your Petty Facts About Generals Or Anything Else Really
Hey Texas Kiddies! How'd You Like To Smuggle Cocaine For The Cartel?
By The Time You Finish This Post, Ben Carson Will Be Done Blinking His Eyes
Flint, Michigan, Invites You To Wash Down Those Rabbits With A Nice Glass Of Lead
The Vilest Moments Of The GOP Las Vegas Debate, As Chosen By Wonkette, Which Knows From 'Vile'
Garbage Free Beacon Writer Writing Garbage About The Obamas' Dog
Lindsey Graham Got Confirmed Bachelor All Over The Undercard Debate, Buttercup
Maine Governor Paul LePage Eated All Your Food Stamps
Ben Carson Promises To Bathe In The Blood Of Innocents
Wingnut Ladygasms All Over Paul Ryan's Beard
Dead Breitbart: Why Are All These Black People Forcing Trump Supporters To Kick Their Ass?
Rick Santorum Knows Unaccompanied Honduran Babies Just In It For The Obamaphones
Mike Huckabee Youth Outreach: Yelling At Stoners To Go Die In A War
Terror, Terror, Terror, Donald Trump, And Terror: Your GOP Mainstage Debate Livebloog
Clinging To The Clown Car's Trailer Hitch: Your Second-Tier GOP Debate Liveblog
Carly Fiorina Lies To Dogs, Eats Milkbones, Is Bitch
'Fox & Friends' Jizz Their Stockings In Yuletide Rage
Military Court Won't Even Kill Deserter Guy Bowe Bergdahl Dead, How Is That Fair
Trump's Las Vegas Rally Sounded A Lot Better In The Original German
Your Never-Ending Olive Garden Shrimp Bowl Sauteed In Never-Ending Child-Slave Tears
Sad Dumb North Carolina Town: Stop These Solar Panels From Bogarting Our Sun!
Shooty Screamy Former Police Chief In Hoosegow For Simple Lady-Threatening Misunderstanding
Donald Trump's Physician Says Trump Will Be The Classiest Healthiest President Ever
Sarah Palin Wants To Bone This Fascist French Chick
What Is That Sexy Canadian Guy Doing In This GOP Debate Preview? (No, Not Ted Cruz)
Help Them, Ted Cruz, You're Their Only Hope
Serena Williams Ends Sexism, Racism With Sportsball Throne. Just Kidding!
Tennessee Ne'er Do Wells Can Wear Their Thug Pants IN JAIL
Donald Trump Has Had It With Hillary Clinton's Nonstop Murder Spree
Lying Liar Carly Fiorina Does Not Like Being Libeled Like A Common Sarah Palin
Austinites Commit Mass Flatulence On Texas Open Carry Group's Dumb Fake Mass Shooting
Stories of Righteous Restaurant Revenge
Karl Rove Doesn't Care If Your Grandbabies Die, And Other Paris Climate Change Fun-Times!
California Wingnuts Extremely Concerned About Where You Make Toilet
Maybe Donald Trump Should Pay To Repair All These Mosques
Deleted Comments: Stop Lying About Donald Trump By Quoting Him
The Snake Oil Bulletin: What's The Deal With The Breast Milk, Huh?
How Paul Ryan Failed As House Speaker In Record Time: A Wonksplainer
Even After Mass Shootings, Gun Company Stocks Remain Bulletproof Investment
Eat Brussels Sprouts, Bacon And Bleu Cheese Salad Like An Adult, Stupid
Did Alleged Abusive Baby-Hoarding Kansas Councilman Steal A Child From Lesbians? Probably
Luke Skywalker Was A Jedi Jihadi, So Emperor Trump Banned Him: Your Saturday Nerdout
Republicans Are Jackholes And So Are Restaurant Customers. Your Weekly Top Ten
Wonkette's Evan Hurst Is World-Famous In Memphis: A Story By Evan Hurst
Syrian Refugees Won't Be Eatin' Georgia's Food Stamp Lobster And Filet Mignon Steaks
Open Up Your Wallet, Sucker. Wonkette Just Broke Your Browser For The Very Last Time.
New York Priest Stole $1M Church Lady Donations For His Gay S&M Master, As One Does
Marco Rubio Loves Obamacare, For People Named Marco Rubio
First They Came For Donald Trump, And Ben Carson Said 'I Think You Want That Other Guy'
Brave Lady's Guns Seized For Shooting Into Crowd, How Is That Even Fair?
We Are Accidentally Creating Our Own Untreatable Plagues, Whoopsie
Ted Nugent Will Eliminate Liberals With Gay Stuff In Their Butts, For America
Sheriff Joe Arpaio Fixin' To Protect Arizona With Private Army. What Could Go Wrong?
GOP Has Secret Plan To Win The War On Donald Trump
All The Hanukkah Crap To Not Buy This War On Christmas Season
Michelle Obama Doing Gangsta Rap Again
Fox Doesn't Find Your Zombie Jesus Jokes Funny, Young Man
Anti-Choice Protesters Need Your Children To See Adorable Fetus Pix On Their Way To Class
Gun-Lovin' Texas Heroes Will Show Everybody How Fun Mass Shootings Really Are
Rahm Emanuel Sorry Chicago Cops Keep Killing Black Guys. He Can Still Be Mayor?
There's More Gay Marriage Throat-Cramming To Be Done In North Carolina
Ladies Officially Allowed To Die In Combat For America Now, Huzzah!
Tennessee College Gets To Boot Pregnant Homos, Keep Its Precious Taxpayer Moneys
Donald Trump Coincidentally Cancels Trip To Israel After Israel Tells Him To Suck It
Rep. Steve King Wants To Know Why His Muslim Colleagues Hate America
Planned Parenthood Shooter Did It For The Babies, Let's Ban Pro-Lifers From America
Obama Won't Repopulate America With Sexxxy Gay Muslim Refugees. OR WILL HE?
FBI Director Said 'Jihad,' Everybody Wet Your Pants!
Even When He Is Talking About Jesus, Ted Cruz Just Can't Tell The Truth
Justice Scalia Knows The Blacks Are Too Dumb For Real Colleges
Washington Post Demands Racist GOP Hatemongers Tsk-Tsk Racist Donald Trump
Douchebag Pharma CEO Martin Shkreli Won't Let You Have No Wu-Tang Either
Bryan Fischer Rears His Stupid Head To Remind Us He Really Hates Muslims Too
Fox News Teaches Kids How To Run Toward Gunfire, What Could Go Wrong?
The Duggars Will Help You Steal A Baby In Five Days Or Less, Maybe
It's Only Fair To Ask: Is Donald Trump Working For ISIS?
Hillary Shows America How To Lady-Scissor In Heartwarming Gay Ad
Rand Paul Thought Of Banning Muslims First. How Come Trump Gets All The Credit?
'Muslim Free' Gun Range Lady Says Trump Got His Great Idea From Her, You're Welcome
America About To Run Out Of Money Again But Speaker Ryan Says It's Cool, Brah
GOP Rep. Marsha Blackburn Does Not Care For Your Silly Poll About Planned Parenthood
Fox Twit Elisabeth Hasselbeck: It's Obama's Fault We Have To Hate Muslims, Thanks Obama!
Bernie Sanders Happy To Discuss ISIS And Terrorism Any Time That Isn't Now
Have Yourselves A Merry Confederate Christmas, In Hell!
SCOTUS Is Your Unlikely Gun Control Hero Of The Week
Here Are Some Terrific Republican Ideas For Defeating Terrorism
Fox News Boots Potty-Mouthed Pundits, Will Only Use Family Friendly Hate Speech
Donald Trump Says No Muslims Allowed, 'Christians Only' Republicans Appalled
Jimmy Carter Ditches Dumb Cancer, Will Live Forever Now
Bristol Palin Takes Bold Stand Against Shooting ALL The Muslims
Ted Cruz Gains In Polls, Promises Burnt Offering Of Syrian Civilians
Michigan Republican Sad He Can't Fix The Blacks, Stop Calling Him Racist
Fox News Very Sorry You Can't Call President Obama 'A Pussy' On TV
Jeb Bush Not Aware Of Any Christian Radicals, Pro-Life Terrorists Feel Snubbed
Syria To Invade Texas This Week, Bye Texas!
Nevada Dingbat Rep. Michele Fiore Heading To Paris To Murder Refugee Terrorists Herself
Dumb Restaurant Customers Are Inexhaustible Resource Of Dumb
Missouri Democrat Wants To Treat Gun Sales Like Abortions. Where Does The Wand Go?
Jerry Falwell Jr. Offers To Whip Out His Big Gun To Keep Us All Safe From Muslims
San Bernardino Definitely Terror Attack, But We Don't Know Who To Bomb Yet
President Obama Addresses Terrorism, Asks Americans To Only Panic A Little, Please
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Glee At Americans Being Murdered! By Muslims! Wow!
The Snake Oil Bulletin: 'Wi-Fi Suicide' Would Make a Great Band Name
Here Are Erick Erickson's Nuanced Thoughts About The Planned Parenthood Shooting
Home For The Holidays (Because Walmart Fired Them For No Reason)
Make BBQ Shrimp and Grits, Because F*ck It, No One Lives Forever
Aren't You A Little Middle-Aged For A Stormtrooper? Your Saturday Nerdout
Evil Coal Mining CEO Don Blankenship Guilty Of Conspiracy, Faces Harsh Wrist Slap
San Bernardino Was Terrorism And The Media Is A Mess. Your Weekly Top Ten.
Peggy Noonan Will Slur Through Her Prayers If She Wants To, Jerks!
MSNBC: Let's Invade San Bernardino Suspect's Mom's Privacy, For 'Journalism'
FBI Finally Calls It Terrorism, Fox News Needs New Shorts
GOP Candidates Jewsplain Jewing To Jewishes. Goes Well As You'd Expect, Only Worse
Precious White People Losing Their Damn Minds Over GMO Salmon
Idiot Nevada Lawmaker Michele Fiore Decks The Halls With Guns, Tits, More Guns
Sarah Palin Sad About Getting Fired, Bristol Being Whore. You Buy Her Book Now?
Carly Fiorina OK With Terrorists Buying Guns As Long As They Use Them Responsibly
Short-Timer Harry Reid Don't Give A Damn And It Is Glorious
President Donald Trump Will Kill America's Heroes Dead
How We Got Even Dumber Watching TV 'News' On San Bernardino
Daily Beast Finds Terroristy Name In Phone Book, Solves San Bernardino Case
Cops Disappoint Fox News Morons, Still Refuse To Call San Bernardino Shootings ‘Terrorism’
Minneapolis Police Finally Bulldozed Those Pesky Black Lives Matters Protesters
San Bernardino Mass Shooting GREAT News For Donald Trump
Wussy President Obama Won't Even Bomb ISIS For San Bernardino Shootings
Here's What We Know About San Bernardino Mass Shooting. The Rest Is Just Noise.
Multiple Casualties Reported In San Bernardino Mass Shooting, Wonder If Guns Were Involved
Exxon Gonna Break Columbia University's Kneecaps
New Louisiana Governor Will Fill Bobby Jindal's Seat With So Much Gayness
Surprise! Planned Parenthood Shooter Super Into Jesus, Adultery, Lady-Beating
Texas Governor Succeeding At Being Biggest Douchebag To Syrian Refugees
Ben Carson Remembers That Time Ben Franklin Gave God A Beej
Jeb Wants A Bush On His Ticket
Mississippi Says Nice White Dad Died In Police Custody From Tripping Balls, Ayup
Iowa Republican Would Like To Murder Some Foreigns If That's All Right
Remember, Liberals: Ted Cruz And Dead Breitbart Are The Reason For The Season
Let's All Have A Jolly Laugh About AIDS With The Reagan Administration!
Snot-Nosed Conservateen Does Not Want To Be Your Wingnut Hero No More
Jeb! So Bad At Running For President That Even Herman Cain Is Mocking Him
Ted Cruz Hasn't Sticked 17 Kids In His Wife's Babyhole So Stop Whining, Hillary
President Obama Knows Americans Aren't Dumb Enough To Elect Republican President
Actual Black People Messing With Donald Trump's YOOOGE Black Pastor Endorsements
Alabama Lawmaker Boycotting Big Gulps And Lottery Tickets Because Muslims Are Gross
Dudes Who Shot Up Black Lives Matter Crowd Not Quite Racist Enough For Hate Crimes Charge
Fox News: Too Bad No One At Planned Parenthood Was Armed, Except For All Those Cops
Wisconsin To 15,000 Poors: Let Them Eat Bootstraps
Hot New Interactive Barbie Toy Will Spy On You And Your Children, Hooray!
President Hillz Will Do Such Sexy Things To Your Infrastructure, Baby
Ted Cruz Condemns Unladylike Actions Of Planned Parenthood Terrorist
Tim Tebow Will Not Do Home Runs To Sexy Girlfriend Ladies
Even Jeb Bush's Brother George Thinks He's A Dumb A**hole
Texas Patriots Just Postin' Muslims' Addresses Online, Please Don't Dox Them!
Pope Francis Drops Dope New Record On Black Friday, Like A Common Adele
Carly Fiorina Lying Fresh New Lies About Planned Parenthood Because Of Course
University Of Chicago Cancels Classes Under Credible Threat Of Second Amendment
Stories Of The World's Most Awful Restaurant Customers
Donald Trump Rejects Chuck Todd's 9/11 Reality, Replaces It With His Own
Mike Huckabee Finally Finds A Terrorist Who Isn't Muslim
Ben Carson On Fire With Great Plan To Leave Syrian Refugees Right Where They Are
Put Your Leftovers In Your Stomach, With Spicy Turkey And Squash Soup!
The Snake Oil Bulletin: How To Detect The Gay, With Science
Hot And Saucy Potato Pancakes With Applesauce, Because You're Hot And Saucy
Here's Your Turkey Drunk, Black Friday Hungover Weekly Top Ten. Read It NOW!
3 Killed In Terrorist Attack On Planned Parenthood; Let's Ban Islam Just To Be Safe
Use Up That Canned Cranberry Sauce, With Booze!
Let's Congratulate Pfizer On The Birth Of Its New Baby Tax Rate
This Would Be A Really Great Time To Buy Some Last-Minute Christmas Presents
Merry Thanksgiving: Here Is Your Safe Space To Drunk-Whine
Here Is Your Annual Thanksgiving Sarah Palin Turkey Day Massacre, For 'Tradition'
No, Mr. Limbaugh, Thanksgiving Is Not A Celebration Of Pilgrims' Triumph Over Socialism
Wholesome American Guts: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2015
Pat Robertson Teaches How To Hate Your Gay Kid Real Good This Thanksgiving
Won't You Feed The Wonkette Children This War On Christmas Season?
Sexciting Study Finds You Should Be Doin' It Way More
Nostalgic Repost Of Repasts Past: The Jell-O Recipe That Mamie Eisenhower Used To Win The Cold War
It's A Thanksgiving Miracle! Chicago Cop Might Not Get Away With Murdering Black Kid
Ted Cruz Dumber Than Babies, According To Scientists
It's A Thanksgiving Miracle! Evil Abusive 'Chicken Coop' Mom Going To Jail Forever
Cheerfully Insane National Review Music Video Is OH SWEET JESUS!
Student Libertarians Demand Government Give Them Money For Guns. UR DOIN IT RONG.
Simple New York Farmers Latest Casualties In Gay War On Freedom
President Obama Probably Thinks Mike Huckabee Should Shut His Stupid Squeal Hole
Muslim Clock Nerd Ahmed Mohamed Gonna Sue Bejesus Out Of Bigot Texas Town
Ben Carson Forgot To Never Forget New Jersey Muslims Celebrating 9/11
White Dudes Shoot Up Black Lives Matter Crowd, Minneapolis PD Maces Them. All Lives Matter!
Study Finds Sarcasm Is Good For You. Yeah, Right.
Fox Blonde Elisabeth Hasselbeck Suddenly Wants To Spend More Time With Her Kids, Suddenly
Guess Which Big Tough Guy Americans Want To Be Their New Daddy
Dilbert Guy Scott Adams: Why Won't Any Of These 'Women' Give Terrorists A Hug?
Wonkette Needs You! To Beta Test Our Ad-Free Subscriptions
Republicans Wish Obama Did Turkey Murder As Good As Sarah Palin
Wonkette Diamond Club Terms Of Service
Topeka Family Homeschooled 16 Kids Real Good, When They Weren't Beating 'Em, Allegedly
Marco Rubio: Shame About Terrorist Attacks In Paris, At Least It's Good News For Me!
Armed Patriots Save Texas From Freedom Of Religion
Pa Duggar Teaches Menfolk How Not To Be Gross Perverts Like His Son Josh
Ben Carson Big Fan Of Guy Who Did Constitution, Old Whatshisname
Sara Benincasa's 'D.C. Trip,' By Sara Benincasa, Reviewed. (By Sara Benincasa)
Trump Supporters Welcome Black Guy To Rally, With Their Fists
Loudest Patriots In America Defend Idaho From Pro-Refugee Speeches At Boise Rally
Deleted Comments: Like Your Master Obama, Wonkette Wants To Destroy America
David Vitter Trashed Like A Soiled Didy In Louisiana Governor's Race
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Deep In The Heart Of Stupid
It's Alive! Mystery Science Theater 3000 Is ALIVE! Your Weekend Nerdout
Fine Hipsters, Taco Bell Will Put Free-Range Artisanal Kale Eggs In Your Chalupas
What’s Long And Hard And Screws People Over? U.S. Refugee Policy! A Wonksplainer
Bernie Sanders Jumps On 'Don't Be Schmucks To Foreigns' Bandwagon
Hillary LOLs At Benghazi Republicans, Sarah Palin Talks To God. Your Weekly Top Ten
Happy Birthday, Old Handsome Joe Biden! You Don't Look A Day Over SEXXXY
Ohio Republicans Suggest Getting Your Lady Parts Checked At Food Banks
Peggy Noonan Sorely Disheartened By Obama, ISIS, Ne'er-Do-Well Ruffians
Topeka Councilman In Jail Just For Spanking His 16 Kids A Little On Their Bottoms, Probably
Dumb Millennials Don't Even Believe Jesus Rode Dinosaurs
GOP Congress Vows To Protect Us From Syrian Orphans Who Did Benghazi
Pope Francis Declares War On Christmas
Ted Cruz Gettin' High On His Own Supply
Fake Journalist James O'Keefe Says Refugees Have Fake Passports. Please Panic Now.
Correction: Donald Trump Did NOT Threaten To Deport All Muslims To The Moon
Marco Rubio's Plan To Defeat ISIL Is Whatever You Want It To Be, Baby
Sarah Palin Calls Jesus Gun-Humpin' Idiot
Congress Votes To Crap Its Pants, Surrender To ISIS
Daily Caller Would Like To Resettle Sexy Syrian Refugees In Tucker Carlson's Pants
Looks Like David Vitter Might Be Sleeping On The Couch Again
Barack Obama To Sportsball Guy: Take My Wife, Please!
Nice White Dad's Autopsy Suggests Being Hogtied By Cops A Horrible Way To Die
It Puts The Wonkette On Its Bosoms
Louisiana Cops Who Killed Autistic Six-Year-Old Might Be Very Bad Men
John Kasich Detects Some Flaws In His Jihad For Jesus Plan (But He's Still For It)
Dumb Fox Chick Not Scared Of Old Grandma Muslims, Just The Kids
Arkansas Judge Invited Hot White Felon Boys Over For Sexytime. Totally Normal.
Is Ann Romney The Daddy Of Donald Trump's Baby?
Missouri Lawmaker Says Muslims Want To Abort Him, For Hating Planned Parenthood
Wonkers With Businesses, Haw Haw Haw As If, Come And Advertise On Your Wonkette!
Ted Cruz Challenges Rapscallion 'President' Obama To Fight Club Him To Death
Crusades Sure Is Dumb Idea, Says Guy Who Wants To Declare Holy War
Mike Huckabee: Syrian Refugees Are Just Like That Time I Ate The Bad Squirrel Meat
Team Trying To Upgrade Ben Carson's Brain Admits Operation Has Failed
'Moderate' John Kasich Only Wants To Bring Back The Crusades A Little Bit
Pity Obama Won't Say What He Really Feels About Whiny Coward Republicans
Dearest Gawker Media, Won't You Please Leave Wonkette This Tiny Crust Of Bread?
Bobby Jindal Announces He Will Not Be President-Elect, Because That Has A Hyphen In It
Sexxxy Green Bay Packers Quarterback Tells Refugee Haters To Eat Astroturf
Sarah Palin Waiting For God To Tell Her What To Quit Next
House Republican: Hillary Clinton Tricked Us Into Looking Stupid On 'The Benghazi'
RedState Explains Racisting, How Does It Work?
Donald Trump Has Exciting New Real Estate Opportunity For You, Syria!
NRA-Lovin' Texas Lawmaker Awful Worried Syrian Refugees Could Buy Guns
Pat Robertson Lets Gays Off Hook For That Whole 'Sodom' Thing
Paris Attacks Making Brave Americans Soil Themselves, Quelle Surprise
Republicans So Awful, Obama Wishes They'd Be More Like Bush
Shame How Ironic Band Name Murdered All Those Parisians :(
Let Wonkette Baby Make You Smile Because Nothing Else Will
Sarah Palin Explains Why God Keeps Getting Bristol Pregnant
GOP: Give Us Your Tired And Your Poor And Your Jesus-Lovers Only
Send Your Fundie Sister Some Hope On A Rope Soap This War On Christmas Season!
In Solidarity With Paris, Republican Governors Invite Syrian Refugees To Burn In Hell
Michigan Mayor Almost Missed Crucial Pizza Party Because Of Whiny Homeless Poors
Westboro Baptist Church Knows Paris Attacks Happened Because God Hates Frogs
David Vitter Doesn't Want Gay Sex Shoved Down His Throat When He Didn't Even Pay For It
Liz Cheney Seriously Considering Another Losing Shot At National Office
Barack Obama Won't Say Magic Words 'Radical Islamic Terror,' Must Resign
Liberté, Égalité, Ménage À Trois: It's Your Weekly Top Ten!
Deleted Comments: You Can't Be A Liberal And A Christian, Duh
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Semen Masks Make A Sticky Situation
We'll Always Have Paris: Live-Blogging The Democrats' Sposed-To-Be-Snoozy Saturday Debate
Read These Unterrible Things About Paris If You Want To Feel Better (And Live)
Walmart And Pals Trying To Lower Black Friday Body Count, How Nice!
GOP Tax Plans Are Just Free Stuff For Rich People: A Wonksplainer
Today We Are All Parisians. But Some Of Us Are Complete Idiots.
Ready To Spend Saturday Night Watching Hillary And Bernie Eat Each Other Alive?
Multiple Terrorist Attacks On Paris, President Obama Refuses To Speculate Wildly
Let's Order Chinese Food And Watch Donald Trump's Brain Essplode
Missouri Lawmaker Don't Want No Smart Kids Studyin' Up On Abortion, No Siree
BREAKING: George Bush Kept Us Even Safer Than We Knew On 9/11!
Michigan School Hardly Freaked Out At All By Gay Character In Children's Book
Is Ben Carson Like A Child Molester? Serious Republican Issue Of The Day
First Starbucks Destroys Christmas, Now It's Gay For The Queers?
Duck Dynasty Dude: Who Among Us Hasn't Banged Some Hookers? Vote David Vitter!
Houston Daycare Worker Fired Just For Being Bigoted Jerk To 6-Year-Old
Did Josh Duggar Jailbreak From Sex Rehab? Guard Your Sheep And Your Women!
Christian Energy Drink Lady Turns Her Crazy On Demon-Sexer Katy Perry
Texas Rep. Not Saying Obama Made Up Climate Change Hoax, He's Just Askin'
Cost Of Megachurch Pastor's Mansion Is God's Little Secret
Utah Judge Won't Let Loving Lesbians Get Their Gay All Over Foster Kid
Maine GOP Knows Liberal Preacher Running For Mayor Hates Christians
Finally, People Make Fun Of Hillary's Looks For A Change!
Gay Barack Obama On Gay Magazine Cover Proves He's A Secret Gay
Bristol Palin Real Mad Media Ignoring White Child's Shooting She Read About In Media
Bill O'Reilly: If Mexicans Don't Like Stereotypes, Get That Mariachi Band Away From Me
Tennessee School Can't Hand Out Bibles Anymore Because Stupid Constitution
Kim Davis's Lawyer Tells Elected Official To Do Her Damn Job. For Real.
Republicans Agree Big Banks Are Growned Up Enough To Take Care Of Themselves
Thousands Of Mormons To Nail Magic Underpants To Temple Door In Mass Resignation
Barack Obama Insults Veterans By Helping Them Go To College
Lying Liar Carly Fiorina Lied Many Lies At The Debate, And That's No Lie
Veterans Day Is A Great Time To Buy Sarah Palin's New Book, Remember Reagan
FBI Ruins Nice White Power Rangers' Plan To Kill All The Blacks And Jewishes
Republicans Will Save America By Outlawing Liberal Philosophers
Fine Here Is Your Bloody Kurt Vonnegut For Armistice Day 2015. Hi-Ho.
Ben Carson Sick Of People Donating To His Charity And Getting Away With It
Look How Jeb Winned The Debate!
Top Republicans Join Egyptologist Ben Carson For Bible Hour: Debate Liveblog
GOP Losers Welcome Christie And Huckabee To The Kids' Debate: Liveblog!
Cure Your Crotch Weasels The Christian Way: Put A Ring On It!
Florida Lady Hides Xanax Up Butt While Stealing From Walmart, As One Does
Daddy Bush Says It's 'Bullsh*t' That Jeb Was Ever The Favorite Son
Sen. Tom Cotton Knows 'Disabled' Fakers Spending Your Tax Moneys On Drugs
Former Deadbeat Congressjerk Solves Black America's Problems, With Twitter
Jesus Buying All His Christmas Presents At Hobby Lobby And Chick-Fil-A From Now On
Egypt Does Archaeological Dig On Ben Carson's Brain, Discovers A Idiot
Cop Too Soused To Accept Mothers Against Drunk Driving Award. Yes, In Florida.
America To Pay Iraqis For Dead Civilians We Definitely Did Not Kill
GOP Senator: Sure, Kids Deported To Honduras Might Die, But It's So Pretty There
Let's Watch Republicans Try To Out-Stupid Ben Carson. Your Debate Preview!
Sad Confederates Demand Right To March In Enemy Nation's Veterans Day Parade
Hell Yeah, Jeb Bush Would Murder A Baby!
Mike Huckabee Never Stabbed Everybody Like That Criminal Ben Carson
Sen. David Vitter Sorry For Banging Hookers, He Can Be Louisiana Governor Now?
Sportsballers Force Mizzou President Out, Ending Racism Forever (If It Ever Existed)
Ben Carson Didn't Fabricate His Entire Life Story, Obama Did!
Starbucks First Corporation To Murder Christmas This Year
Ted Cruz Demands Next President Start His Day Praying To Jesus Or Giving Head
Idiot Nevada Lawmaker Michele Fiore's Grifty Home Healthcare Business Goes Tits Up
Colorado Town Shocked To Discover Teens Do Sexytime, Even In Colorado
Griftin' Duggars, Teabaggin' A-Holes And Ted Cruz. Your Weekly Top Ten
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Did You Know Gay Sex Isn't Even Real?
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Putting The Moran In Mormon
Hall Of Fame Ratf*cker Exxon Probably Knew About Global Warming Before The Rest Of Us
OMG It's Another New Star Wars Trailer, Now 20% Cooler! Your Saturday Nerdout
How Obama Is Dividing America By Making Things Better: A Wonksplainer
You Know Who Else Bought You Beers And Sausages, San Francisco Bay Area?
Hillz R. Clinton On GOP Candidates: OMG LOL WTF HAHAHAHAHA!
Kansas Teacher Does The Gay Agenda To Kids, Refuses To Resign In Shame
GOP Losers Suck So Hard They've All Been Demoted To Kids' Table Debate
President Obama Will Not Be Laying Any Keystone Pipe Today
Can We See Ben Carson's Birth Certificate, Just To Prove He Was Really Born?
Dumb Duggar Kids Admit Mission Trip Is Basically Sexxxy Beach Vacation For Jesus
Look How Obama Ruined The GOP Primaries With All These New Jobs
Ben Carson Insists He Really Was A Teen Thug, Stabs CNN Reporter To Prove It
You Will Fall Madly In Love With This Half-Nutso Louisiana Cop
Lesbian Superhero Houston Mayor Wants Gay Rights Ordinance Back Right Now, Dammit
Wisconsin's Russ Feingold Will Buy Old Senate Seat With Hollywood Jew Moneys
Yr Wonket Beated Up A Idiot Today And It Was Great, Also Too
Brave Idaho Patriots Wet Pants Over Invasion By Tens Of Scary Refugees
Jewishes Not Interested In Your Bathroom Junk, Don't Care If That Makes Jesus Cry
Rick Santorum Beated Up Whoopi Goldberg And ISIS, Will Be Toughest President
Ben Carson Hip Hip Hops And He Don't Stop
Daddy Bush Says It's Dick's Fault Dubya Was A Idiot
Pentagon Blew Millions On Patriotic Sportsball Displays. Let's Cut Science Budgets!
Colorado Voters Murder Founding Fathers, For The Kids
Surprise, Dr. Ben Carson's Latest Pyramid Scheme Involves Actual Pyramids
Kim Davis: Maybe The Appeals Court Will Feel Bad About My Gay Butthurts?
Duggars To Announce New Jesus-Approved Boning Rituals Very Soon!
Jeb Bush Surrenders To France, Declares War On Questions
Ben Carson Not Ready To Be President Of Cuba, Either
New Jersey Pastor Fakes 'Muslim' Attack On Self, For 'Personal' Reasons
Chick-Fil-A Fails To Meet 2015 Gay-Bashing Quotient. Fix It, Jesus!
Ted Cruz Doesn't Care If He 'Accidentally' Blows Off Someone's Head With A Shotgun
Pissed Off God Levels Toledo For Failing To Elect Prophetess Opal Covey Mayor
Fornicating Michigan Teabaggers Lose Comeback Bids, Probably Because Satan
Genius Proposal Would Replace Hated IRS With Beloved Private Debt Collectors
Houston Votes Yucky Gay Homosexicans Off Island
Ohio Squares Do Not Wish To Join Your Reefer Madness, America
Meet Kentucky's New Cock-Fightin' Teabaggin' Gov. Matt Bevin!
Watch Your President Barry Bamz Obama Mock Whiny-Ass Republicans To Their Face
Why Did Ben Carson's Enemies Force Him To Shill For Quack Cancer Cure?
Make America Great Again: Reparative Therapy, But For Straight White Dudes
Houston Votes On Whether Gays Should Be Allowed To Live, Breathe
Month-Long Vacation Not Enough, So Congress Decrees August Now Has 7 Weeks
Jeb Bush Hiring Big Brother's Best Friends To Fix It For Him
Idiot Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore Will Represent Boobs And Guns In Congress!
Carly Fiorina: Sure, I'm A Liar, But Argle Bargle Liberal Media Grrr Argh
Texas Couple Fights To Keep Kids Good And Stupid, The Way Jesus Likes 'Em
Donald Trump Leads Republican Scabs Across Their Own Debate Picket Line
Video Proves Fake Democrats Better Than Real Republicans
Jeb! Bush Poised For Triumphant Comeback Literally Any Moment Now
Rand Paul Wants You To Just Say No To Heroin, Book-Learnin'
Fox News Teaches Dumbass Viewers How To Use New 'Facebook' Thing Real Good
Holy Batman Nipples! And Other Pictures From Our Chicano Park San Diego Drinky Thing!
Loser Republicans Want Debates To Be More Fair To Losers
Jeb Bush Will Fix All The Things, As Soon As He Figures Out What They Are
Carly Fiorina Wants To Know Why She's The Only Chick Who Gets Sexismed
Brave Christian Football Coach Suspended, Can Spend All Day Talking With God Now
Speaker Paul Ryan Damn Sure He's The Only American Who Deserves Weekends
Whiny Republicans And Creeper Fundamentalists. Which Are Ickier? Your Weekly Top Ten
Deleted Comments: Why Do You Uncouth Churlish Perverts Hate Dr. Ben Carson?
San Diego, Come Be Dead With Us, TODAY (Sunday)
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Turpentine Smoothies For Everybody!
Let's Meet The Dirty Cabal Of 'Liberals' Who Control The 'Liberal Media'
Why Dumbass Republicans Want To Impeach IRS For Doing Nothing Wrong: A Wonksplainer
China Will Win Your Capitalist American Heart With This Weird-Ass Music Video
Republicans To Cancel NBC Debate Unless Candidates Get Reality Shows And BJs
Just Gonna Do Some Light War To Syria, That Should Fix It
These Candy Corn Jell-o Shots Will Feed Your Sweet Tooth, With Booze
Jeb No Do Geography So Good. Yup, He's A Bush All Right!
Lesbians Terrorize Hawaii Supermarket With Kisses, Lesbianism
Ben Carson: Bible Proves He's Ready To Be President Of Noah's Ark
Congressjerks Threaten To Bomb Paris Climate Talks With Snowballs, Derp
Dudes Who Wait Until Marriage Bad At Boning, Probably Gay, Says Science
Republicans Demand Kinder, Gentler Debates With Multiple Choice Questions
Jeb Bush Wins Coveted Endorsement From Son; Dad And Brother Remain Undecided
Gross Duggars Bribe Anna With Big New House If She'll Stay With Cheatin' Husband Josh
Why Republicans And CNBC Can F*ck Themselves Right In the Free Market
Master Debater Ted Cruz Brilliantly Recites Pre-Written Tantrum
Orange County, California, Knows How To Party (Tonight!)
Help, My Husband Is A Homosexual! I Can Have GoFundMe Bigot Bucks Now?
Dear RNC: Stop Bitching About Last Night's Debate Questions. You Sound Like A Idiot.
Ben Carson Only Endorsed Quack Nutritional Supplements A Tiny Bit, For 10 Years
Congress Gives Paul Ryan Speaker's Gavel, To Choke On
Mike Huckabee So Glad Clintons Didn't Murder Him, Like How They Do
Top 10 Loser Republicans Debate Which One Has To Drop Out Next: Liveblog!
Second Tier Loser Republicans Debate Which One Has To Drop Out Next: Liveblog!
Republicans Prep For Debate With Pissing Match Over Dressing Rooms, Everyone Loses
Donald Trump Demands Iowans Love Him Again, Or They're All Fired
The Top 29 Things The 'D' In Paul Ryan's New Fancy Speaker Name Stands For
Sloppy Sexxxy Drunk Lindsey Graham Way Better Than Regular Kind, Still Won’t Be President
Mitt Romney Quite Pleased With His Swell National Romneycare Program, Oh Goodness Yes
Officer Who Dragged Black Teen From Her Desk Boning A Black Chick, So It’s Cool
Super Christian Donald Trump Thinks Ben Carson's Weird Religion Is Weird
Sicko Ex-Speaker Dennis Hastert Pleads Guilty, Might Go To Jail For 5 Minutes
Texas Is In Your Planned Parenthood Records, Fapping To Your Pap Smears
Time To Watch Republicans Sniff Donald Trump's Jockstrap Again: Your Debate Preview
Bristol Palin So Glad She Didn't Abort Her Mom's Baby
Gay-Hatin' Indiana Republican Caught Trolling For Online Dick, What A Shock
Jeb Bush Baffled By Zippers, Magnets, Life Itself
Hello, Los Angeles. Won't You Buy A Girl And Her Husband And Her Official Wonkette Baby A Drink?
How To Sex Your Boner-Killer Hag Of A Wife: A Christian Wonksplainer
South Carolina Cop Protects Community From Black Girl Insolently Sitting At Desk
Uh Oh, Is Hobby Lobby Going To Hell For Stealing All God's Cool Stuff?
Some Newspaper: Jerry Hall And Rupert Murdoch Totally Doing It. Sorry About Your Breakfast
This Other Company Will Put Punchy-Faced Pill Man Out Of Business, Sell Drug For A Dollar
Scuzzy Child-Rehoming Rep. Justin Harris Got Himself On National Teevee!
Jeb Predicts Marco Rubio Will Win Two Terms As President, Just Like Loser Obama
Hillary Clinton Says It's Her Birthday, Probably Lying About That Too
Christian Bride Passes Traditional Daddy Vag Inspection Before Wedding
Poor Little Rich Boy Donald Trump Only Got $10 Million From His Daddy
President Ben Carson Will Emancipate Unborned Babies From Uterine Plantations
Good Christian Fame Whores Having Another Baby! Unless They're Lying.
Jeb! Doesn't Want To Be President Anyway, Take THAT, Dad
Boehner Announces Committee To Investigate How Planned Parenthood Did Benghazi
Maryland Cop Loses Job, Self-Respect After Biting Dude's Balls In Fight
Nevada Wingnut Sharron Angle Threatens To Lose Another Senate Race
Maureen Dowd Is A Idiot, Says Joe Biden And Everyone Else
Bobby Jindal Never Wanted To Be In Your Stupid Kids' Table Debate, May Just Stay Home
Hillary Clinton And Sid Blumenthal Did Benghazi, For LOLs. Your Weekly Top Ten
Deleted Comments: Hillary's A War Criminal And So Are You, Wonkette!
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Sesame Street Holocausting Your Children!
1000 To One Odds Our Vegas Party Sunday Will Be A Rocking Good Time
Turns Out Starbucks Is A 'Grande' Tax Avoider! And Other Assorted Coffee Talk
Watch Rachel Maddow Torture Benghazi Confession Out Of Hillary Clinton!
How The Wingnut Freedom Caucus Took Congress Hostage: A Wonksplainer
Here's Hillary Clinton, Owning The Benghazi Committee Like The Badass She Is
Justice Department Won't Throw Obama In Jail For Doing IRS-Ghazi To Teabaggers
Wingnuts So Sad Hillz Didn't Admit She Ordered The Code Red In Benghazi
Paul Ryan Grabs His Ankles For GOP Wingnuts, Will Be Speaker Until They Kill Him Too
Benghazi GOP Congresslady Doesn't Think You're Very Funny, Hillary
Lincoln Chafee Drops Out After Hillary Becomes President Of Benghazi
Rep. Elijah Cummings: America Is 'A Better Country' Than This Benghazi Hearing BS
What The Benghazi Hearing Taught Us: Republicans Are Dicks, Hillary Already President
Wonkette Smearing Its Big Love On Salt Lake City Tomorrow! (Or Tonight!)
Hillary Can Understand Slow Georgia Hick's Benghazi Questions Just Fine, Thanks
Mommy, Why Are Those Guys On The Benghazi Show Punching Each Other?
Benghazi Republican: Why Didn't Hillary Have Lesbian Sleepovers With Ambassador Stevens?
Hillary To Kappa Kappa Gamma On Benghazi Committee: WTF Are You Even Talking About?
Benghazi Committee Republicans Super Jealous They Don't Get Cool Emails Like Hillary
Science Fact: Everyone In America Sick And Tired Of Hillary's Damn Benghazi Emails
Hillary Clinton To Benghazi Committee: You Have Made A Huge Mistake
Homosexican Couples Officially Allowed To Pay Taxes Together, Thanks Obama!
Happy Benghazi Day! Watch Hillary Clinton Admit She Did Benghazi, For The LOLs
House Wingnuts Will Let Paul Ryan Be Speaker, But Only If He Wears 'Kick Me' Sign
It's Official: Bill Clinton Did 9/11
Ben Carson Will Defund Commie Liberal Colleges, Because Freedom
Wingnuts Piss All Over Grieving Joe Biden, Because That's What They Do
Donald Trump Cool With Shutting Down Mosques Full Of Muslim Bears
Jesus Endorses Mike Huckabee For President, Sends All Other Candidates To Hell
Let's Give Joe Biden A Hug And Leave Him The F*ck Alone Now
Responsible Gun Owners Continue Shooting Kids To Keep America Safe
Ma And Pa Duggar Having Sexxxy Time At Christian Diddle Camp For Marrieds
Playboy Will Still Make Naked Ladies For You, But Only In Mexican
Martin O'Malley Finally Says Something Stupid Enough To Get Noticed
Paul Ryan Agrees To Be Next GOP Speaker To Resign In Disgrace
Pat Robertson Wishes The Homosexuals Would Stop Thrusting Into Him So Hard
Trump And Carson Beg Obama's G-Men To Protect Them From Bad Guys
Science Says Lesbian Mommies Are Better Than Good Christian Heterosexual Parents
'Democrat' Jim Webb Drops 'Democrat' Charade, Will Definitely Be President Now
Rush Limbaugh Outraged Republicans Won't Beat Up Hillary Clinton Just Cuz She's A Girl
White Power Morans: Jews Stoled Our American Star Wars And Gived It To The Blacks!
Let's Gay-Marry Canada's Hot New Prime Minister And Let Him Try To Get Us Pregnant
Dana Perino So Sad George Bush Blamed For 9/11 Attack That Never Even Happened
Everybody Hates Ted Cruz: George W. Bush Edition
Hero Nerd Science Teen Ahmed Mohamed Visits White House, Doesn't Blow It Up
Brave Christian Football Coach Eated By Lions
BREAKING: Joe Biden To Announce He Is Running For President, Or The Opposite Of That
Idiot 'OK Corral' Historic Re-Enactor Shoots Guy Right In His Billy The Kids
Tennessee Pastor Knows You'd Be Real Sad Right Now If You Were An Abortion
Let's Meet The Sexy Montana Navy SEAL Stud Who Will Obviously Be Next House Speaker!
Sad Congressjerk Tasked With Proving Hillary Did Benghazi Tells Everyone To 'Shut Up'
Dumb Racists Deploy Wrong Ethnic Stereotype Against Maine Mayoral Candidate
Nice Christian Protesters Say Kim Davis Is Big Whore, Going To Hell Probably
Ben Carson: If Only We'd Drilled Baby Drilled, We Coulda Caught Osama Bin Laden
Mitt Romney So Happy He Decided Not To Lose Another Election
Pat Robertson Teaches How To Hate Your Gay Kid Real Good This Thanksgiving
Jeb Bush Can't Win, Settles For Explaining How Dubya Stopped 9/11
Sarah Palin Wroted Her Own Bible
Duggars Edge Out Bristol Palin In 'Biggest A Idiot' Contest Once More. Your Weekly Top Ten
Sundays With The Christianists: Let's Read Some Terrible Pro-Abstinence Comics!
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Beat Your Meat with Some Slap Therapy!
Love Child! Stay Away From David Vitter Or He Will Bortion You (Allegedly)
Weird Sex Mushrooms Give Ladies Spontaneous Orgasms (Or Not): Your Saturday Nerdout
What Is Washington DC? A Wonksplainer Just For You, Jeb!
Wonkette Stealth Updates Design Because Of How We Hate You
Coal: It's A Dirty Business. Oh, And Sometimes It Murders People Too.
Florida Couple Will Let Cops Arrest Them Once They're Done Boning
We Talked To Trump's Virginia Supporters. They Seem Nice!
Mike Huckabee Still Hearts Duggars Cuz 18 Of Them Probably Aren't Kid-Diddlers
Dear Republicans, Could You Please Stop Crying And Do Your Jobs For Five Minutes?
Dumb Duggar Kids Will Refund Your 'Missionary' Donations If You Promise Not To Tell Jesus
Bobby Jindal, You Have Failed. Go Home NOW!
Here's Carly Fiorina Lying Some More. Watch The Video!
Mike Huckabee Agrees: Slavery Is Pretty Dadgum Cool!
Fox News 'CIA Expert' Not A CIA Guy, Not An Expert
A Ridiculous Amount Of Notice For You, So Cal, To Put On Your Drinkin' And Wonkin' Shoes
Jeb Bush Can't Remember That Unforgettable Space Shuttle Disaster He'll Never Forget
'Sovereign Citizen' Porn Producer Decides He's A Doctor, Nevada Disagrees
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Is An A-Hole, Chapter Eleventeen Billion
Here's Bernie Sanders On The Ellen Show, Talkin' About Handcuffs And Tight Panties
'Democrat' Jim Webb Pretty Sure It's CNN's Fault He's Not Going To Be President
Crazy Tongue-Speaking Prophet Lady Running For Mayor ... Of Our Hearts!
Pat Robertson Swears Faith Healing Works For People Who Aren't Pat Robertson
Wisconsin Will Heal Pain And Suffering Caused By Transgenders Doing Potty
Good Toddlers With Guns Protecting America From Tyranny On Weekly Basis Now
President Obama: Afghanistan War Going So Great, Let's Never Leave!
Make America Great Again: Mount Doom, But for Guns
Oregon Couple Going To Jail For Killing Their Baby With Religious Freedom
Rand Paul Pretty Sure Gays Can Just Go Do Hair If They Get Fired From Their Jobs
GOP Senator Says Moms Need More 'Me' Time, Votes Against That Ever Happening
Koch Brothers Protect White Nashville Ladies From Scary Blacks Riding Buses
Hey Wolf Blitzer, Why You Gotta Be So Mean To Poor Lincoln Chafee?
Wingnuts Save Marriage With 'Little Red Riding Hood' Where Wolf Is All The Gays
Fox News Does 'Journalism' On Planned Parenthood
Ben Carson's Broken Brain Has New 'Thoughts' On Gay Marriage
'Oath Keepers' To Teach America's Kids How To Bum-Rush Gunmen, Resist Tyranny
Hillary Clinton Lady Yells About Planned Parenthood Way Better Than That Liar Carly Fiorina
Ticking Time Bomb Jim Webb Would Like To Be President Of Vietnam Flashbacks
Ben Carson Sorta Sorry For Saying Jews Holocausted Themselves, Can He Be President Now?
Mike Huckabee: Asians Eat Dogs, Unlike My Son, Who Just Kills Them LOL!
Tennessee Rep. Will Banish Islam From History. You Know, For The Kids
Democrats Agree: Nobody Gives A Damn About Hillary's Sextghazi Emails
An Affair To Zzzzzz: Liveblogging The Democrats Being Total Grown-Ups, Lame
Playboy To Go Never-Nude In 2016. We'll Be Grieving In Our Bunk
Confederate Flag-Humpers Indicted Just For Threatening To Kill Black Children
Indiana Stealing $3.5 Million From Poors, Giving It To 'Pro-Life' Church Ladies
Carly Fiorina Failed At Hewlett-Packard In A Whole Other Way You Didn't Even Know About
DVR Alert! NBC To Air 'Law & Order: Duggar Fingers Unit' This Fall
Let's Netflix And Chill While We Pretend To Watch Democrats Chit-Chat: Your Debate Preview!
It's Armageddon Time, And Only Ben Carson Can Save Us!
Ex-Con Jim Bakker Says Planned Parenthood Sacrifices Babies For Satan, So That's New
Bristol, You Ignorant Slut: Once Again You've Missed The Point Entirely
Mississippi Dude Worries Removing Confederate Flag Is Bad For The Jews
Texas Will Have To Pry The Dildos Out Of These Kids' Cold, Dead Wherevers
Gay-Hating Wingnuts Must Stop Using Google, Drinking Coke, And Having Abortions
Why Did Anne Frank Hide Like A Coward Instead Of Killing Nazis Dead Like A Real Man?
Bigots Weep As Oklahoma Town Murders Christopher Columbus
Bristol Palin Shocked To Learn She Is A Idiot
Christopher Columbus Was A Dick
Dumb Duggars, Bristol Palin And Gross Kevin McCarthy. Your Weekly Top Ten!
Deleted Comments: Why Aren't You Fighting The Devil Instead Of Mocking The Duggars?
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Oh Look, More Mommies Who Know Science Better Than Doctors
Doomsday e-Church Tries Turning Apocalypse Off And On Again: Your Saturday Nerdout
Count Carly's HP Donors On Zero Hands And Other Campaign News From Corporate America
What Does The Speaker Of The House Do, Other Than Adultery? A Wonksplainer
Make America Great Again: Introducing The Oscars, But For Abortions!
Hey Everyone, Let's Talk About Justin Bieber's Penis, With His Dad!
Another Day, Another Campus Shooting: One Dead, Three Injured, Yawn
Future Not-Speaker Jason Chaffetz Very Sad He Found Bupkis On Planned Parenthood
Ben Carson: If The Jews Had Guns, The Holocaust Might Not Have Turned Out So :(
Arizona Tea Party Hero Rep. Thinks All This Congressional Chaos Is A Blast!
Paul Ryan Is A Idiot, But Not Enough To Take Speaker's Job. Or Is He?
Florida Judge Gives Domestic Abuse Victim Something To Cry About (In Jail)
Ben Carson Beated Up A Robber One Time, With His Brain
Looks Like Mike Huckabee And The Duggars Are Still Totally Gay For Each Other
It Turns Out We Weren't Kidding About Kevin McCarthy's Sex Scandal. Huh!
It's 'Bring Your Bible To School' Day! Don't Forget To Slaughter Some Midianites!
House Republicans Having No Good Very Bad Day. Let's Point And Laugh At Them!
RINO Kevin McCarthy Drops Out Of Speaker's Race To Spend More Time Not Being Speaker
God Pencils Into Calendar 'Smite Tennessee County, Lunch With Huck'
Obama Sorry About Bombing Doctors Without Borders, Will Aim Better Next Time
Bristol Palin Outraged Other Girls Won't Get Knocked Up In High School Like She Did
Josh Duggar's Penis Banned From TLC, Maybe From His Wife Too
Congratulations, Texas! Abortion Laws To Keep Women Safe Doing Opposite Of That
Rand Paul Will Save America's Children With Some Stickers
Drunk John Boehner Knows Congressional Democrats Are The Real Oregon Shooter
God Tells Televangelist Felon To Wear Black Panties, Probably Means World IS Ending
Ten Commandments Removed From Oklahoma Capitol, Governor Would Kill To Get Them Back
Mike Huckabee Furious With Gay Liberals Who Run Roman Catholic Church
Nevada Rep. Michele Fiore Investigates: Why Does Prozac Keep Mass-Shooting Everyone?
Ben Carson Only Mentioned Hitler To Piss Off Liberals, LOL!
North Carolina Teabagger Candidate Needs Your Help Murdering People, We Think
Carly Fiorina's Medieval History Degree Will Help Her Beat ISIS, Crush Albigensian Heresy
Bristol Palin Must Apologize For Mass Shootings
How Much Would You Pay To Watch Kim Davis Rub Naughties With A Black Lady?
'Oath Keepers' To Boycott Waffle House Until It Apologizes For Being Mean To Guns
Catholic Church Considers Finding Nicer Way To Tell Homos They're Gonna Burn In Hell
Hindu Witch Lady Terrorizes Innocent Christians At Air Force Dental Clinic
Bobby Jindal Demands Apology From Oregon Shooter's Father, For Not Loving Guns Enough
Ben Carson Will Only Visit Families After Next Massacre If Victims Aren't Such Pussies
Uh Oh, Looks Like Dumb Duggar Kids Don't Have Proper License To Win Souls For Jesus
Ted Cruz Thinks Refugees Are Gross, Forgets Where His Dad's From
Mean Judge Says Hobby Lobby Not Allowed To Look At Your Genitals
Indiana Governor: What About A Law So We Still Get To Hate The Gays?
World's Going To End Wednesday. Wear Something Nice!
Oh Look, Another Republican Suddenly Supports Disaster Aid For His Own State
Tennessee Lt. Governor: Don't Panic, But Every Christian Needs A Gun Right Now
11-Year-Old Shoots 8-Year-Old Over Puppy, America Remains Free Of Tyranny
Time To Add 'Deadbeat Loser' To Carly Fiorina's List Of Accomplishments
Kirk Cameron's Gay-Hatin' Sister Hopes You Feel Real Bad About Having HIV
Erick Erickson Quitting RedState To Spend More Time F*cking Goats
President Hillary Clinton Will Grab Your Guns, Do Benghazi To Them
Cops Add 'In God We Trust' To Patrol Cars, Mostly To Piss Off Atheists
God Cancels Hurricane Joaquin, Endorses Buttsex
Good Christian Fame Whores Too Sad To Be Good Christian Fame Whores Right Now
Textbooks Calling Slaves 'Workers' Too Offensive Even For Texas
Teabagger Rep. Jason Chaffetz Says Only He Is Sexy Enough To Be Next House Speaker
Tennessee County Begs God Not To Sodomize It
Florida Would Like To Give You $200K For Killing Someone, As Long As It's 'Self-Defense'
Pope To Fire Everyone Who Makes Him Think About Gays Or Kim Davis
Sheriff Investigating Oregon Massacre Likes 'Oath Keepers,' Sandy Hook Truthers. Oh, Fun.
Fox's Favorite Priest Outraged Catholic Hospitals Might Be Forced To Save Lives
How Many Lies Can Liar Carly Fiorina Tell Before Breakfast? Your Weekly Top Ten.
Deleted Comments Of The Week: 'The Cookie Jar Is Human Organ Trafficking'
The Snake Oil Bulletin: One Weird Trick to Lose Belly Fat. Starve Yourself!
Is America Ready For This French Retro-Porn Sci-Fi Parody? Your Saturday Nerdout
Please Train Your Replacement On Your Way Out! This Week In Corporate Layoffs
Why John Boehner Is A Drunken Numbnuts Coward: A Wonksplainer
Heal Your Broken Soul With The Soothing Sounds Of Honey Boo Boo's New Single
A Mass Shooting Happened Three Hours Away. What Are You Going To Do Now?
President Jeb Bush Addresses Grieving Nation: 'Stuff Happens'
Nevada Rep Michele Fiore Wishes Gun-Free Zones Would Stop Murdering Everybody
No, Bristol Palin, Hillary Clinton Is Not Afraid Of Your Grizzly Mama
Pope Francis Barely Noticed Kim Davis On Way To Brunch With His Gays
Satanic Temple Sues For Woman's Religious Freedom To Do Devil Abortions
Dear The Gays: STFU About Hillary's 'Anti-Gay' Email
Vatican Issues Clarification: Kim Davis Sucks And We Hate Her
Portland, Oregon, We Are In You. You Come To Our Party Now, Tonight!
Mass Shootings Hardly A Problem At All, Except Every Week
Sean Hannity Says Lying Liar Carly Fiorina Isn't Lying, We Can All Go Home Now
Another Mass Shooting In America. What The Hell Are We Supposed To Say?
President Obama Asks Americans To Stop Shooting Each Other, For Real This Time
Second Amendment Saves At Least 10 At Community College From Being Alive, F*ck You America
Alabama Finds New Clever Way To Show The Blacks How Much They Care
Second Planned Parenthood Hit By Arson In A Month. Those Videos Are Working!
Kentucky Governor To Kim Davis: Your Dumb Lawsuit Is Bad, And You Should Feel Bad
Mike Huckabee Demands Lap Dance From America Or He Will Burn This Place Down
Donald Trump Tells Syrian Refugees To Go Back To Mexico
BREAKING: Joe Biden Still Not Running For President
James O'Keefe Catches Hillary Clinton In Biggest Felony Yet!
Baltimore Public Housing Maintenance Dudes Getting So Much Head, Bro
Suck It, Ted Cruz: Government And Planned Parenthood To Remain Open
Greedy Gay-Hatin' Bakers Pocket Sweet Bigot Bucks, Tell Court To Suck Frosting
High School Students Try To Do Journalism On Guns, Gun-Humpers Freak Out
Josh Duggar's Penis Had A Accident On Another Porn Star
America Hears Pope's Words On Death Penalty, Gets Back To Killing Folks ASAP
Jerk Behind Planned Parenthood Videos Accidentally Confirms Carly Fiorina Is Lying
Donald Trump Is Yoogest Evangelical, Also A Jew For Jesus Maybe
Indiana Republican Sorry For Sending Everybody His Sex Tape, Will Resign Now
Benghazi Congressjerk Never Quitting, Will Investigate Hillary's Yoga Emails Forever
Three Guys Who Will Never Be President Have A Catfight
KKK Dude So Jealous Of Jews At Auschwitz, With Their Coffee Breaks And Swimming Pool
Kim Davis's Lawyers Say She Had A Secret Stitch 'N' Bitch With Pope Francis
Vermont Anti-Vaxxers Might Have To Start Own Church To Freely Worship Measles
Here's A Sexxxy Song About Being An Outlaw For Jesus. You Should Fap To It.
Uh Oh, Lying Liar Carly Fiorina's Planned Parenthood Lie Just Turned Into A Bigger Lie
Dead Breitbart Exposes Nerd Hero Clockmaker As Dangerous Bubble-Blowing Thug
Liar Carly Fiorina Lying About New Thing
Ted Cruz Has No Friends And Everybody Hates Him, LOL
Nation Braces For Dick-Filled Sex Festival Known As 'Ex-Gay Awareness Month'
Even Maine's A-Hole Governor Thinks New 'Shame The Poors' Project Is Gross And Bad
Catholic School Sends Gay Boy Home For A Week To Think About How Gay He's Been
Americans Already Mad As Hell Over Republican Government Shutdown
CNN Begs Joe Biden To Run For President, Promises Debate Spot And Puppy
Indiana Pizza Bigots Accidentally Cater Gay Wedding, Will Go Straight To Hell
Carly Fiorina Would Like A Shot At Torturing Islamics, Please
Oh Look, Another Planned Parenthood Caught Doing Absolutely Nothing Wrong
Ben Carson Has More Thoughts About Muslims. They Are Dumb, Racist Thoughts.
NASA Finds Water On Mars, Dan Quayle Still Wrong
Donald Trump's Tax Plan Terrific News If You're Already Rich
Shell Oil Quits Drilling Alaska Arctic Like A Common Palin
Does Commie Pope Francis Heart Kim Davis? Bad Commie Pope!
End Of World Off To Slow Start
Elizabeth Warren Talks Black Lives Matter, And It Is Awesome. You Click Now!
Pentagon Finally Gets Its Own Gambling And Strippers Scandal
Gentleman Discharges Gun In Pants, Goes To Emergency Room Half-Cocked
Lying Liar Carly Fiorina Not Happy Everyone Noticed She's A Lying Liar
White Republican Congresslady Has Badass Idea For Getting Rid Of Black Congresslady
Let's Giggle At John Boehner's Drunky Cry Faces Some More. Your Weekly Top Ten.
Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Hear From All The Experts On Buttsex
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Fact Checking for Morans
Your Saturday Nerdout: Are You Ready For The Supermoon Eclipse? Or Apocalypse?
Target's Union-Busting Robots, And Other Updates On Our New Robot Overlords
Another F*cking Government Shutdown? Seriously?
Bristol Palin SO MAD At Obama For Doing Thing He Didn't Actually Do, GRRRRR
Donald Trump Takes Out His Jesus Thing, Waves It At Christian Voters
It's The Values Voter Summit! Has Grindr Crashed Yet?
For Real I Would Bang John Boehner: A Sexxxifesto
China Ruins Republicans' Favorite Excuse For Ignoring Climate Change
Pope Put Holy Spirit In John Boehner's Butt, Forced Him To Quit
Let's Meet Our New House Speaker In Charge Of Getting Nothing Done In Congress!
John Boehner Quitting Congress To Spend More Time Crying Into His Wine Glass
Dead Breitbart's Ghost Forced To Pay Up For Murdering Shirley Sherrod's Career
Here Are A Bunch Of Pictures Of John Boehner Crying Alcoholic Tears On The Pope
Great News, TLC's Going To Let The Duggars Perv Up Our TV Screens Some More
Ted Cruz Wishes Pope Shared His Fetish For Killing People
Wingnuts Tell Commie Pope To Get A Brain, Moran
Catholic School Denies Gay Kid's Sacred Right To Date Boys From Other Schools
Defunding Planned Parenthood Officially Stupidest GOP Idea Since Last Stupidest Idea
Hooker Dude Wants To Make Sure Teenagers Don't Do Sex Things To Cucumbers
Megyn Kelly Lets Kim Davis Yammer About Jebus For A While
Arizona Patriot Road-Tripping To Michigan To Arrest Senator, Please Send Gas Money
New Pope Tells Congress The State Of The Union Is Insufficiently Communist
Mommy, Why Are Donald Trump And Fox News Fighting?
Dalai Lama Says No Uggos Or Fat Chicks
Denver Man Cites 'Historian' Bill O'Reilly, Offers Us Meth. Ayup.
Mike Huckabee Excommunicates Obama For Inviting Sodomites To Meet Pope
Donald Trump: Don't Call My Bigot Supporters Bigots, You Bigot
Terrible Pill Man With Punchy Face Will 'Drop' Drug Price If You Won't Murder Him Please
Let's Meet The Biggest Loser Candidate In America. His Name Is Carl!
Ben Carson Pretty Darn Angry At Satan For Inventing Evolution
Carly Fiorina Promises No Sexist Comments About Hillary Clinton's Vagina
Jeb Bush Tells His Beloved Hispanic Culture To Go Back To Mexico
Better Watch Your Mouth, Donald Trump Suing Everyone Who's Mean To Him
Iowa Plays F*ck, Marry, Kill With The Republicans. (Spoiler: Jeb Dies)
Who Wouldn't Want To Jerk Off To Kim Davis Erotica?
President Obama Hopes All The Jewishes Starve Good
Archbishop Steve King Lectures Pope On How To Catholic Good
Good Christian Housewives Declare War On Miss Piggy The Whore
Arizona Town Pretty Sure Jesus Never Followed The First Amendment Either
Maybe Kim Davis's Gay Friend Will Visit Her When She Goes Back To Jail
Douchebag Pharma CEO Raises Drug Price 5000% Because Screw Your Sick Baby
Marco Rubio Says You Can Use Parts From Dead Babies, But Only When God Kills 'Em
U.S. Military Letting Afghan Allies Rape Boys On American Bases, So That's Gross
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Finds Exciting New Way To Dick Over Food Stamp Recipients
John Kasich: Don't Worry, I Leave Mexican Doctors A Little Tip Too!
Dumb A-Hole Scott Walker Not Going To Be President, Just Like We Told You
I Say, Old Bean, Did British Prime Minister Do Sex Things To A Dead Pig?
Conservatives Ready To Impeach Pope While He's In The Neighborhood
Democrats Still Running For President Too, Apparently
Ben Carson Will Not Have A Muslim President Smearing Sharia On His Constitution
Sarah Palin Can See Clocks From Her House, And Ahmed's Thing Is NOT A Clock
Dumb Tennessee Republicans Have New Plan To Ban Gay Marriage. It Is A Stupid Plan.
Bobby Jindal Cool With Muslim President, As Long As He's Christian
Donald Trump Defends Rights Of Trump Fans To Be Total Idiots
Carly Fiorina Is Lying, And Everyone Knows It. Even Fox News.
BREAKING: Nerd Hero Teen Didn't Whittle His Clock From Scratch, Send Him To Gitmo!
Mike Huckabee's Shriveled Manhood Threatened By Gay Homosexual Army Secretary
Jeb! Losing So Hard, He'd Like To Now Remind You He IS A Bush
Internet Shocked To Learn Ann Coulter Still Exists. Your Weekly Top Ten.
Deleted Comments Of The Week: 'Get Off Your Rump And Vote For Trump!'
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Oh No, The Witches Have Cursed Donald Trump!
Your Car Might Be Lying To The Government And Other Recall News From Corporate America
Congress Sucks Harder Than Your Mom: The Debt Ceiling, Wonksplained
Cartoon JPMorgan Plutocrat Says Let Them Eat iPhones
Florida Man With Two Guns Does Road Rage The Best, Shoots Self In Leg
Bristol Palin Terrified Her Baby Will Get Arrested For Being Muslim Science Terrorist
Jeb Bush Invites All The Christian Refugees To Crash On His Couch
Unladylike Republican Staffers Bar-Fighting Like Common Palins
Jimmy Carter Caught Lusting For His Wife On Base-Ball Kiss Time Camera
Wingnuts Have Had It With That Muslim Teen Terrorist Ahmed Mohamed And His 'Science'
No, Donald Trump Did Not Tell That Dumbass He's Going To Kill All The Muslims
John Kasich Big Fan Of Hispanic Ladies Who Clean His Hotel Room
Idiot Alabama Judge Thinks You Need A License To Do Buttsex
Horny Teabagger Lady Pretty Sure Michigan Legislature Only Kicked Her Out By Mistake
Even Your Favorite Chips Come In Homo Gaysexual Lesbian Rainbow Flavor Now
All-American Teenage Science Nerd Hero Ahmed Mohamed Invited To Run The World
Jeb Bush's Mother Disappointed But Not Surprised Son Is Drug-Smoking Loser
Bristol Palin Can Make Babies, Where's Her White House Invitation?
Where Were You When Kim Davis Stood Up For Jesus At Columbine?
Of Course Jew-Hating Scum Queen Ann Coulter Is Terrible. But She's Right (This One Time)
Republicans Rank Hottest Chicks In America On A Scale Of Zero To Ben Carson's Mom
Jeb Bush Forgot To Remember 9/11
Wonkette Came, Wonkette Saw, Wonkette Felt The Bern
Mississippi Cops: We Totally Arrested That Black Doctor For Being Uppity, Ayup!
Bobby Jindal Knows Who Was Persecuted For Being A Muslim Science Nerd: Kim Davis
Donald Trump Finally Googles Bible Verses For Billionaires
Who Let A Girl Into Donald Trump's Sausage Party? Liveblogging The GOP Debate
Running To Be Trump's VP: Liveblogging The Pathetic Losers' Table 2016 Republican Debate
Which 2016 Republican Is The Best Reagan At Reaganing Like Reagan?
Meet This One Christian Baker Who's NOT A Dick To Gay People!
President Obama Invites Teen Muslim 'Bomb-Maker' To Jihad The White House
Hooray, You Can Write Cusses On Your Traffic Tickets, America F*ck Yeah!
Muslim-Hatin' Gun Range Lady Has Thoughts On Syria's Humanitarian Crisis
Hewlett-Packard Laying Off 30,000 Workers, AKA Pulling A Carly
Pretty Sure Bobby Jindal Just Said Ted Cruz Gives Donald Trump Snail Blowjobs
Awww Look, 'Pro-Life' Ladies Try To Do 'Feminism'
Texas Teen Builds Clock, Gets Arrested For 'Bomb Hoax.' Did We Mention He's Muslim? Yeah.
Let's Make Sex To Ronald Reagan's Ghost With The GOP Candidates! Your Debate Preview.
Chris Christie Is Not Dead Yet, Says Chris Christie
Mike Huckabee Is An Evil, Soulless Sack Of Fermented Rat Jizz, Syrian Refugee Edition
Oh Look, Not-Joe The Not-Plumber Hasn't Vanished Up His Own A**hole Yet
Scott Walker Revives Campaign With Promise To Bring Back Sweatshops
Let's Help Jesus Punish That Judge For Being Mean To Poor Kim Davis!
New Mexico Mom Refuses To Pray To God, Court Takes Away Her Kids
Run For Your Lives, The Apocalypse Is Coming, And This Time It's Mormon!
Get Filled Up And Gushed On By God, With Pat Robertson
Black Lady Sent To Mental Hospital For Saying She Drives A BMW. Whatever, Crazy Lady!
Carly Fiorina Did GREAT Job With Hewlett-Packard. Too Bad It Was In Iran.
God Tells Alabama Town To Pull Up Its Damn Pants
¡Atención, Hispanos! Jeb Loves Latino Stuff, Like His Wife. Vota El Jeb!
Sexy Republican Lawmakers Sorry For 'Exchanging Documents' In Each Other's Pants
Bobby Jindal Bravely Calls For Legalization Of Jesus
'Muslim Free' Gun Shop Owner Saves Florida From Jihad With Classy 9/11 Sale
Nice White Dad Hogtied By Police Didn't Die Of LSD Overdose, What A Shock
America All Out Of Workers Because Everyone's Snorting Food Stamps And Social Security
Donald Trump Attacked Carly Fiorina's Face And She Is MAD (At Democrats, Obviously)
Justice Department OK With Hillary Clinton Deleting Emails About How She Did Benghazi
Jeb! Bush Promises Not To Sleep Through Next Debate
Office Depot Apologizes For Killing Free Speech, Jesus
God Changes His Mind, Tells Kim Davis To STFU And Let Gays Get Married
Black Doctor Jailed Because Her Husband Said A Swear
Ronald Reagan's Ghost Tells GOP Candidates To Quit Trashing His Shining City On A Hill
Let's Hate Mike Huckabee Some More! Your Weekly Top Ten.
Sundays With The Christianists: A Mutilated Squirrel Teaches Your Kids Why Welfare Is Bad
The Snake Oil Bulletin: And Now For Some Olden Timey Bullcrap!
We Are All A Science Idiot: Your Saturday Nerdout
New York Times Says Wonkette Is The Banksy Of Internet Writing!
Congrats, America, The Troops Got Poisoned And YOU Get To Pay For It
Hey Dumbass! Prosecution Is Not Persecution: A Wonksplainer
Rick Perry's Dreams Of Presidenting Just Died, Bye Rick Perry's Dreams!
Jesus Said No Jews On The Supreme Court
Help Us Name The World's First Ted Cruz Hardcore Gay Porn Flick, Starring Ted Cruz!
Tennessee Republican Demands Schools Delete Islam From History, Because 9/11
Wonkette's Annual Children's Treasury Of Terrible 9/11 Art
Christian Taliban To Crucify Donald Trump For His Sins
Time For More Tax Cuts And Trips To Disney World, Cuz 9/11 Is Coming Again Maybe
Horny Family Values Teabaggers Tossed From Michigan Legislature, Oh How Sad
The One Place In Texas It's Not OK To Carry A Gun Is In Your Vagina
Dumbass Ohio Parents Think Jesus Hates When Transgender Kids Go Potty
Wonkette Wonk-Luck Will Be Mile-High, Denver, TONIGHT! (Boulder Saturday, Boulder!)
Mike Huckabee: If Gays Can Get Married, That Means We Can Buy Black People, Right?
Never Forget (Except For The Stuff They Wish We'd Forget, Go Ahead And Forget That Stuff)
Here's Your Video Of Hillary Clinton Twerking Like She's Miley Cyrus Or Something
Donald Trump Wouldn't Piss On Bobby Jindal If His Pants Were On Fire. Whoever He Is
Creepy Arkansas Rep's Preschool Trying To Rehome Kids Straight To Heaven Now
'Oath Keepers' Militia Will Protect Kim Davis From Jackbooted Homosexual G-Men
Sarah Palin Has Learned To Word Salad In Russian, Y'all
Jeb! Bush Would Like Some Disastrous Tax Cuts Named After Him Please
Fox News Has Thoughts On Kim Davis. They Are Strangely Interesting Thoughts!
Family Values Sen. David Vitter Does Not Want To Talk About That Time He Banged Hookers, OK?
Donald Trump And Ben Carson Having A Good Old-Fashioned God Fight
Donald Trump Is Your New Ronald Reagan, But Dumber And Less Classy
Polls Show Most Americans Think Kim Davis Sucks
Louie Gohmert Says He'll Quit Congress Over Iran Deal, Bye Dumbass!
Harvard Law Professor Running For President (No, Not The One You Want)
Scott Walker Doesn't Think So Good, Hypothetically
Republican Congressjerk Wants To Save The Babies, Then Let 'Em Starve
Mike Huckabee Didn't Appreciate Ted Cruz Trying to Hijack His Kim Davis Jesus Party
Oregon Judge Won't Marry No Gays, But Look At His Rad Picture Of Hitler
Pat Robertson Just Called Kim Davis A Whore
Now That Kim Davis Is Free, Time To Crucify The Heretics
Jeb Bush Explains How 'Fun' Works
Hillary Clinton Apologizes For Whatever It Was She Did While Being Hillary Clinton
Sex-Crazed Michigan Reps Beg For Light Spanking, Ooh Yeah, Just Like That
Shut Up, Losers, Donald Trump Never Said That Thing He Said
Elizabeth Warren Loves Donald Trump's Gay Communist Tax Plan
RIP Rick Perry's Presidential Campaign, Again
Wonkette Kiss-The-Baby Tour Rolling Into Santa Fe Tomorrow! (Today? Anyway, Wednesday)
Mike Huckabee Begs Judge To Send Him To Jail, Make Him Sexy Christian Martyr Too
Tyrant Barack Obama Bent On Making You Stay Home From Work If You're Sick
Dumb Duggar Girl Probably Hasn't Bagged Any Central American Souls For Jesus
Homeschool Mom Protests 'Muslim Indoctrination' At School Her Kids Don't Attend
Kim Davis Is Free, Everybody Go To Kentucky And Do Gayness In Her Face
Texas County Wanted To Hire Only Bible-Believing Baptists, Is That Wrong?
Dick Cheney Is Bombing Iran Right Now, In His 'Heart'
War Hero Donald Trump Was Most Terrific War Hero In Prep School
Kim Davis Begs God To Set Her Free LOL
Sarah Palin Can't Wait To Quit Trump Administration
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Maybe A Dolphin Ate Your Baby
Papa John's Is Still A Douche, And Other News From Corporate America
Deleted Comments: In Which A Rat's Ass Is Given About Bristol Palin
Labor Day: Why You Get To Day-Drink Like A Blogger Today!
Hey Everybody, Where's Kim Davis? Oh That's Right, She's In Jail! Your Weekly Top Ten.
That Time House Majority Loser Eric Cantor Honored America's Unsung Managerial Class On Labor Day
Dame Peggington Noonington Explains 'Work' To The Little People
Labor Day Weekend Gas Prices Lowest Since 2004, Have You Thanked Michele Bachmann Yet?
Let's All Get Drunk For Three Days, For 'Unions' Or Whatever
Happy Birthday Beyoncé, Mike Huckabee Still Thinks You're A Whore!
Satan Probably Won't Let Kim Davis Raise Bigot Bucks On GoFundMe :(
Georgia High School Adds Baptisms To Football Practice, Benches Constitution
Trump Bodyguard Slugs Hispanican Protester, Seals GOP Nomination For Boss
Bristol Palin Ringin' Those Bells To Warn Us The Chinese Are Coming
It's A Nice Day To Kentucky Marry Your Gay Homosexual Lover!
Reality TV Show Star Thinks Neurosurgeon Isn't Qualified To Run America
Rick Perry: Even Dumber Than You Thought. No, Even Dumber. No, Even DUMBER.
Sorry, Jeb Bush Is Not The Savior Of The Jews
President Obama Got Diddled By A Fish, Y'all
Kim Davis Is In Jail, And Wingnuts Are Jizz-Crapping Their Pull-Ups In RAGE!
Nikki Haley Wishes Black Folks Wouldn't Be So Ugly About Getting Shot By Police
Whiny Tennessee Judge Says No More Divorce Because Gays Ruined That Too
God Agrees Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis Is A-Hole, Sends Her To Jail
Which Republican Candidate Can Lick That Kentucky Clerk Lady's Knob Best?
Magic Bible Words Protect Gun From Grubby Muslim Hands
Donald Trump Pinky-Swears Undying Love To GOP, Wink Wink
Donald Trump Doesn't Want To Press '1' To Hear Jeb Bush Lose In English
Here's Chris Christie Being A Dick To Some Girl, Because It Is A Day
Mean Obama Regime Now Making Short-People Jokes About Alaska's Favoritest Mountain
Someone Please Put Rick Perry Out Of His Misery And Tell Him It's Over
John Kasich Likes Planet Earth OK, Not Ready For Serious Commitment
Rand Paul: It's 'American' To Be Rude Law-Breaker, As Long As You're White
Carly Fiorina Gets Lady Quota Affirmative Actioned Into Next Republican Debate
Josh Duggar May Be On The Lam From Sex Rehab, Suspect Considered Horny And Gross
Fox News Tells Obama To Go Be A Weather Girl If He's So Worried About Climate
Jeb Bush's New Sick Burn Against Trump Is The Saddest Thing You'll See All Day
Aw, Man, Does This Mean We Don't Get To Do War To Iran?
James O'Keefe Blows Lid Off Hillary Clinton's Vast 'T-Shirts For Canadians' Swindle
Harlot Kentucky Clerk To Be Sentenced By Pontius Pilate Thursday
Sarah Palin, It's Time To Have The 'Denali' Talk With Your Dumbass Daughter Bristol
Canada Also Thinks Scott Walker Is A Idiot
Let's Watch Donald Trump And Mike Huckabee Jizz All Over America's Tallest Mountain
Alabama Secessionist Rally Was Hilarious Failure. Please Point And Laugh
If Arizona Congressjerk Doesn't Scare Your Kids About Terrorists Nuking Them, Who Will?
Pope Francis Offers Get Out Of Hell Free Card To Baby-Killing Whores
Clinton Email Bombshell: John Boehner Probably Blackout Drunk Right Now
Time To Vote In The Wonkette Primary! (A Primary For Libtards)
Shocking New Polls Show Republicans Are Still Morons
Loser Kentucky Clerk's 15 Minutes Of Martyrdom Just About Up
Wingnut Heroes To Arrest John McCain For Doing Bad Things
How Are The 2016 Democrats Not Embarrassing America This Week?
Why Are Hamptons Snobs Racist Against Kids With Lemonade Stands?
Angry Feminist Angry Angry Feminist Isn't Angry Feminist Enough
Texas Republican Wishes Americans All Looked The Same, Like The Orientals
Rick Perry Thinks He's Jesus, Hopes To Also Come Back From The Dead
South Dakota Republicans Want To Sneak A Peek Inside Teen Athletes' Pants
NRA Dude Hopes Virginia Shooting Victims' Parents Won't Be Total Pussies About This
Donald Trump's Analogies Not Making America Great Again
Liz Cheney Knows Real U.S. American Patriots Love Old Dick
Tyrant Obama Stealing America's Mountains Now, Giving Them Yucky Foreign Names
Texas Finds Exciting New Way To Screw Disabled Kids And Olds
Chris Christie Wants Barcodes For Foreigners, Just Like You Know Who
Kentucky Clerk Lady Already Going To Hell
America About To Fall In Love With Scott Walker, Says Scott Walker
Deleted Comments Of The Week: This Is Clearly A Homo-Sexual Web-Page
Josh Duggar Can't Read This Post Because He's In Jesus Jail. Your Weekly Top Ten.
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Donald Trump Has A YOOGE Offer You Can't Refuse
Why Do You Weep? Blingee Lives! Your Saturday Nerdout
Sarah Palin Knows Donald Trump's Favorite Bible Verse Is ALL OF THEM KATIE
Walmart Pries Guns From Cold Dead Hands, And Other News From Corporate America
Congress Planning New, Exciting Ways To Screw You In The Bottom This Fall
A Thoughtful Soliloquy On Miley Cyrus, Her Nipples, And Also Donald Trump's Nipples
Oh Great, Now Even The Southerns Are Gender Fluid
So Lame How CNN Won't Let Carly Fiorina Be President Already
The Seven Best Times Jeb Bush Embarrassed His Mother This Week
George W. Bush In New Orleans: Heckuva Job, Myself!
Peggy Noonan Talked To Guy Who Works At A Deli And Now Donald Trump Is President
Ashley Madison Cheater Wannabes Mostly Just Sexting With Robots And Josh Duggar
Gays, Abortions, Blacks, Oh My! Your Virginia Shooting Tragedy Bingo
Sarah Palin Says Donald Trump Is Jesus, Basically
Planned Parenthood Sting Videos Are Full Of Bullcrap. No, Even MORE Bullcrap.
John Boehner Said A Swear About Ted Cruz!
Let's Go To Rehab With Josh Duggar And Learn How To Give Our Penises To Jesus
Screw You Guys, Gov. Paul LePage Gonna Go Be A Senator Now
Donald Trump Takes Bold Stand Against Hitler
George Zimmerman Opposes Racist Hate Crimes Now, Hooray!
Bobby Jindal Begs Obama Not To Say Dumb Climate Change Stuff On Katrina Anniversary
Carly Fiorina Did Great Job At Hewlett-Packard, Says Guy Who Fired Her
Gay-Hatin' Kentucky Clerks Having Real Bad Week
We Must Join With Ben Shapiro To Stop The Gays From Killing Again!
Rand Paul Suggests Black Lives Matter Focus On Other Lives Instead
James O'Keefe Releases SHOCK VIDEO Of Hillary Campaign Torturing Puppies
Godly Christian Fame Whores Call In Sick To YouTube
Donald Trump Fanboy Can't Believe Univision Anchor Even Allowed In White People's America
Josh Duggar In Sex Rehab Again, Because Check Out What He Did To This Porn Star
Uh Oh, We Almost Forgot To Thank The Menfolk For All This Awesome Equality
It's National Dog Day. Pretty Sure We Could All Use Some Doggies About Now
Here's How The Second Amendment Has Prevented Tyranny Lately
How We Will Not Be Talking About The Murder Of Two Virginia Reporters
Virginia Journalist Killer Was Black Man, And Wingnuts Are ON IT
TV Reporter And Cameraman Shot To Death On Air, Because America
Trump Shows America How He Will Deport Mexicans, On Live TV!
Bristol Palin Says Obama's The REAL Lazy Half-Term Gov. Quitterface Grifter Queen
New York Times Just Suggesting Maybe Hillary's Getting Some Lesbian Ass On The Side
Fox News Dudes Being Total Girls About Donald Trump's Sexism
Does Weed Make You Skinny? Let's Ask Science!
Obvious Gay Hooker Service Raided For Being Obvious Gay Hooker Service
Dumb Jackhole Sen. Tom Cotton Still Thinks He's President Of Obama
Republicans Plotting To Take Away Your Freedom To Make America Great Again
Bernie Fans And Republicans Agree: Hillary Clinton Should Drop Out NOW!
Duke Freshman Snowflake Babies Pretty Sure Mom Said No Reading Books About Lesbians
Illinois Bishop Has Godly Plan To Keep Gay Cooties Out Of Schools
Jeb Bush Doesn't Know Dick About Women's Healthcare
Donald Trump Finds New Creative Way To Pick On Poor Stupid Jeb Bush
Kansas School Murders Jesus In Front Of The Children
Hey, What's Up With The 2016 Democrats?
Bill Cosby Knows Media Only Calls Him A Rapist Because He's Black, Also A Rapist
Jeb Bush Only Meant To Do Racism To Chinese Indians, Not Messicans Like Columba
No, Scott Walker, You Cannot Write For Wonkette
We Are All Junkie Heroin Dope Fiend Smackheads Now, Thanks Obama
Donald Trump To Jeb Bush: YOUR MOM!
Gay-Hatin' Oregon Bakers Send Love Cakes To Homos, Tell Them They're Going To Hell
You're Off The Hook, China. Pat Robertson Says Stock Markets Crashing Because Of Abortion
Fox News Knows Obama Personally Ordered Terrorist To Ride That French Train
I Got Kicked Out Of The Militia's Motel Room
Republicans Have New Brilliant Idea: What If We Keep Being Mean To Gays Some More?
Donald Trump Bravely Says 'Christmas,' Even In Alabama
Chris Christie: I Too Can Be A Dick To Jimmy Carter
Scott Walker Not Too Scared To Say All Muslims Are Bad
Americans Pretty Much All Gay Now, According To Science
Donald Trump Gives YOOOGE Boner To Stupid Racist Americans
Sundays With The Christianists: The Day My Idiot Brother Brought Salvation To Flagstaff, Arizona
Just Biding Our Time Until We Find Josh Duggar's Grindr At This Point. Your Weekly Top Ten.
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Onions Probably Cure Cancer And AIDS, Because Why Not
Your Saturday Nerdout: The World Now Has A Vomiting Robot. Thanks, Science!
If GOP Candidates Were This Funny In Real Life, We Might Like Them!
More Than Corndog Fellatio Pics: The Iowa State Fair, Wonksplained
God Already Forgave Good Christian Fame Whore For His Ashley Madison Account
Michelle Obama Will Say Cusses Until You Eat Your Effin' Vegetables
Ted Cruz Chooses Perfect Day To Be A Dick To Jimmy Carter
Islamic Leaders Call For End To Fossil Fuels, Will Probably Jihad Your SUV
More Bad News For Republicans: Americans SO Gay For Labor Unions
Scott Walker Wants To Be President Without The Tricky Questions, Please And Thank You
Announcing The Wonkette Wonkebago Fall 2015 Itinerant Panhandling Tour And Quitterthon!
Anna Duggar Should Stop By Her Local Planned Parenthood, And So Should You
Jeb Bush Asks Media For Help Slurring Brown Babies
Oh No, Josh Duggar's Cheatin' Penis Makes The Family Values Crowd Look Bad!
Carly Fiorina Says All The Stupid On Climate Change And Then Some
Donald Trump Googles This Martin O'Malley Fellow, Decides He's A Weak Loser
Police Group Suggests Maybe Police Could Try Being A Little Less Shooty, Please
Trump Supporters Making America Great Again, By Beating Homeless Hispanic Dudes
GOP Losers So Mad At GOP For Treating Them Like Losers
Josh Duggar Real Sorry Porn Demons Forced His Penis Into Strange Ladies
Jeb! Bush Failing So Hard He Needs His Brother's Help, LOL
Martin O'Malley Doesn't Want Some Old Hag Lady To Be President Of Him
Watch Jimmy Carter Laugh At His Cancer, Smileyface Emoticon Here
Bobby Jindal Happy To Call Brown People Names If He Can Be President
Donald Trump Warns Pope Francis About ISIS Monsters Under His Bed
Mike Huckabee Lectures Jewishes In Their Homeland. It Does Not Go Well
Ben Carson Has Cool Idea For Bombing Mexicans With Drones
King John Kasich Promises To Ban Whiny Teachers From Whining
Idaho Transportation Dept. Has Had It With You Stoners Stealing '420' Mileposts
Jerkface Gov. Paul LePage Will Resign If Enough People Dump Pigs' Blood On Him At Prom
Looks Like Josh Duggar Wanted To Molest An Adult For Once
Sexy Bill Clinton Turns Sexy 69 Haw Haw Get It SEX JOKES!
'Pro-Life' Wingnuts Secretly Love Abortion, This Video Says So
Donald Trump Is The Greatest Constitutional Scholar, He Is Really Terrific
Georgia Gallery Owner Replaces Confederate Flag With Nazi Flag, That's Better
Sarah Palin Likes Her Men Dumb And Drunk, Like Donald Trump
Armed Idiot Protects Oklahoma Gun Store From Muslims By Shooting Himself
More Bad News About Planned Parenthood. For Republicans, That Is
Rachel Maddow Wants To Gay Marry Yr Wonkette, And We Accept!
Texas Ag Commissioner Doesn't Really Want To Nuke All The Muslims. OR DOES HE?
Sarah Palin Finds New Job To Quit
Man Brings Bomb To Abortion Clinic, Definitely Not There To Bomb Abortion Clinic
Scott Walker Will Repeal And Replace Obamacare With Unicorns And Pixie Farts
Poor Dumb Rick Perry Thinks He's Still Running For President
Donald Trump, Who Owns Everything But A Mirror, Called Heidi Klum Ugly
God Has New Plan For Duggars To Get Rich On TV
Republicans Want Trump, And If Not Him, Then Maybe Trump Would Do
Missouri Republicans Demand Interns Stop Being Too Sexy To Resist
KKK Dude Wanted To Unleash Death Ray Against Muslims, Including Obama
George Zimmerman Made New Finger Painting For Racist, Gun-Fondling BFF
Now That Everyone Loves Carly Fiorina, Let's Remember Why She Sucks
GOP Candidates Take Knife To Messican-Loving Parts Of Constitution
Finally, A Real Plan To Rid Nebraska Schools Of Commie Infiltrators
Why 10-Year-Olds Should Not Be Pregnant: A Wonksplainer
Bristol Palin Is Not Amused By You, Internet
Ted Cruz Running For President Of Guam
RIP Blingee: World's Greatest Terrible Website Headed For Digital Heaven
Dr. Ben Carson's An Abortion Archaeologist, What Do You Think About That?
Alleged Prep School Rapist Only Did It Because There Was A School Sex Contest, Probably
Donald Trump Copied Scott Walker's Immigration Homework, Says Scott Walker
Teabagger Fornicator Writes Million Words About Jesus, No Words About Resigning
Carly Fiorina Endorses Hillary Clinton For President
Bernie Sanders Refuses To Answer Sexist Questions About His Luxurious Mane
Birthers Doubt Eligibility Of Anyone To Be U.S. President
Republicans Report Having The Bestest Marriages Ever, Are Probably Lying
Michele Bachmann Says Carly Fiorina Loves Muslims Too Much To Be President
Ben Carson Will Protect Jews, No Matter What Religion They Are
Donald Trump Has Detailed Plan To Kick Mexico's Ass Now, And It's Terrific
Mike Huckabee Says Awful Dumb Thing Because He's Mike Huckabee
Crunchy Cooters, White Supremacists And Megyn Kelly. Your Weekly Top Ten.
I Came, I Saw, I Got The F*ck Out: Your (Final) Florida Roundup
You Know You Want This Star Wars Speeder Bike Rocking Horse: Your Saturday Nerdout
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Why Did Jesus Send Us To Collections, Mommy?
BREAKING: Televangelist Scamster Pat Robertson Has Never Actually Read The Bible
Lady Writer Wishes Hurricane Katrina Would Destroy Chicago, Is That Mean?
Here's Your Badass Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Doing Gay Stuff In Vietnam
Jeb Bush Talked To Black People, Says They Mattered, He Can Be President Now?
Christian Teabagger Lady Rep. Only Banged Her Crazy Colleague, Never Broke Any Laws
Fox Starts War On Christmas In August. Take That, Global Warming!
Carly Fiorina Goes Anti-Vaxxer Stupid, Still Won't Be President
Rick Santorum Knows Fetuses Are Cuddle Buddies, Not 'Medical Research'
You Really Hurt Giant Pussy Erick Erickson's Feelings, You Jerks
Confederate General Bobby Jindal Invades New Orleans
Fox News Jackass Greg Gutfeld Will Keep Fetuses In Wastebaskets Where They Belong
No American Political Ad Will Ever Top This Beautifully Insane Canadian Thing
Jeb! Bush Remembers That One Time His Brother Won The Iraq War
We Are Sorry, Mr. Trump, We Really Thought You Were Joking
Another Court Tells Another Gay-Hatin' Baker To Suck A Cake Froster
Dear Congress: We Hate You. XOXO, America
Raise Your Glasses High For Jimmy Carter, Wonkers, May He Live Forever
Alabama Church Will Give You Shootin' Lessons If You Give Your Heart To Jesus
Good Christian Fame Whores Probably Liars Too
Bic Sorry For Being A Dic In Sexist South African Ad
Michigan Teabagging Fornicator Still Making Up Super Amazing Sh*t
Dr. Ben Carson Was Big Fan Of Using Baby Parts Back In His Doctorin' Days
Oh Look Who Is Actually Breaking The Law (Hint: It's Not Planned Parenthood)
Where Were You When Michele Bachmann Became Princess Of Iowa 4 Years Ago?
Mexico Rudely Refuses To Build Gold-Plated Border Fence For Donald Trump
'Pro-Lifers' Present Abortion Masterpiece Theatre At White House, And It's Insane
Mean Judge Makes Kentucky Clerk Murder Jesus By Doing Marriage Licenses For Gays
Kid-Dumping Arkansas Rep. Justin Harris Gets 'Courage' Award For Best Family Values
Donald Trump Merchandise Too Classy And Luxurious For All You Losers
Great Feminist Blog RedState Says Hillary Clinton Is An Ugly Ho
Megyn Kelly Gives Ted Nugent Cat Scratch Fever, In His Penis
Sorry, Wisconsin, Gov. Walker Just Blew Your Last $400 Million On A Sportsball Arena
Texas Judge Says You Can Be Gay Even When You're Dead
Sad Mississippi Lovebirds Just Wanted ISIS Honeymoon Of Their Dreams, Is That Wrong?
Bernie Sanders Surging In New Hampshire Poll, So You Should Buy This Mug
Fox Chick Certain All The Man Prisoners Will Want Hoo-Has Now
Abortion Is Good For Everyone, It's Science
Shoplifter Hates Obama, Loves His New G-Spot Delight Vibrator
Gross Texas A.G. Ken Paxton Sure Hopes He Gets To Screw Some Ladies On Way To Prison
Open Carry Dude Assaults Wife, Kills Two Sons, Keeps Second Amendment Safe
Pat Robertson Shows Grandma How To Shove Jesus Inside Her Grandkids
Lowe's Hardware Sorry For Offering Segregated Delivery Service, All Fixed Now
Megyn Kelly Joked About Her Husband's Dick One Time, So Donald Trump Wins Forever
You (Probably) Won't Have Sexy Daddy Rick Perry To Kick Around, Fap To
Nice Texas Cops Just Wanted To Reach Into Black Lady's Vagina In Public, That's All
Vote For Marco Rubio, Or The Kitten Gets It
Relax, Ladies, Donald Trump Will Let Planned Parenthood Treat Your Wherevers
Bristol Palin Takes Break From ISIS Battle To Slob Trump's Knob
Armed White 'Oath Keepers' Descend On Ferguson, Will Definitely Calm Everything Down
Jeb! Bush So Mad Hillary Clinton Invaded Iraq
Nevada Rep. Michele Fiore Has Girl Parts On Her Nakedness Area, And So Should You!
Michigan Teabagger Fornicator Also Accused Himself Of Child Molestation, For Jesus
Scott Walker Wishes Blacks Would Be Nicer About All This Racism Stuff
Republicans Demand Mean A-Hole For President
Nice Christian Fornicator 'Blackmailed' Into Spreading Fake Gay Sex Scandal
If You Think Donald Trump Said Megyn Kelly Was Bleeding From Her Hoo-Ha, You're A Nazi
Fox & Friends Confused Which Toys Have A Penis And Which Have A Vagina
Rand Paul Says Hard Work And Tax Cuts Will Make Everyone Rich, Especially The Rich
John Kasich: Climate Change Is Real, And We Must Ignore It Immediately
BREAKING: Obamacare Good For You, Whether You Like It Or Not
Donald Trump Pretty Sure Bleeder Megyn Kelly Is The One Who Should Say Sorry
God Tells Florida Pastor Unborned Babies Will Pay National Debt, So Defund Planned Parenthood
Dumb Kentucky Clerk Sues For Religious Freedom To Suck At Her Job
Gov. Sam Brownback Has A Brother, And He Also Blows A Lot
Republicans Bleeding From Their Everywheres, And It Is Awesome
Elizabeth Warren, Dumb Duggars And A Bunch Of Republican Jerkoffs. Your Weekly Top Ten.
Deleted Comments: Why Is Wonkette So Unfair To White Supremacists?
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Crystal Dildos for Your Crunchy Cooter
Grill Peaches In Honor Of St. Lawrence, Soak Them In Booze In Honor Of Yourself
Donald Trump: Why Was Megyn Kelly Moderating A Debate Instead Of In The Blood Hut?
Ted Nugent: What About Lion-On-Lion Crime?
Texas Judge Sentences Dude To Marriage, Bible Study
What Did President Barry H. Bamz Obama Think Of The GOP Debate?
Hillary Clinton Can't Stop Laughing At Dumbass Republicans
Spoiler: None Of These GOP Jerkholes Are Going To Be President
Carly Fiorina Won Happy Hour! Could Someone Explain Why?
Remember That Time John Kasich Said A Gay And Republicans Cheered?
Maine Supreme Court To Gov. Paul LePage: No, You Didn't Veto Anything, Doofus
Donald Trump Already President Of All You Overrated Losers
Christian Teabagger Reps Have Terrific Plan To Hide Real Affair, With Pretend Gay Hooker Scandal
GOP Debate Gives Peggy Noonan Very Dainty, Ladylike Orgasms In Her Brain
Nice White Power Ranger Blows Up Own Leg While Making Bombs
Kirk Cameron's Idiot Sister Hates Gays Almost As Good As He Does
Liveblogging The Pathetic Embarrassing First Tier GOP Losers Debate: A Live Blog
Liveblogging The Pathetic Embarrassing Second Tier GOP Losers Debate: A Live Blog
Good News, Kansas Poors, You're Allowed To Eat Food Again
Whore It Up And Fight Cancer With This One Weird Trick!
Erick Erickson: Fertile Latinos Will Breed Permanent GOP Majority, Strong Like Bull
What The Hell Does Sarah Palin Want Now?
Texas Will Make Sure Gay Man Dies Knowing How Despised He Was
Appeals Court Spanks Texas Voter ID Law Right On The Bottom
Jeb Bush Thinks Donald Trump Is An 'Asshole'
Wingnuts Invent Fun New Way To Slur Each Other, Hooray!
Mean RNC No Fun Anymore, Won't Even Put Gay-Bashing In Platform
Looks Like We All Owe Bill Clinton A Hummer Now
This Picture Of Donald Trump And Bill Cosby Riding A Lion Says It All
Stupid President Obama Doesn't Even Realize How Great War Is, What A Stupid
White People Upset At White People For Being Mean To Blacks, Guess It's Serious Now
Wingnut Just Asking If Maybe Obama Is BFFs With Kenyan Demon Who Lives Inside Of Him
Pot-Munching Cops Too High To Destroy All The Hidden Cameras, Oops
Florida Jerks Super Excited Their Neighbor Shot A Kid, Saved A TV
Donald Trump And Nine Other Losers Walk Into A Bar: Your Wonkette Debate Preview!
Ben Carson Not Sure Which Bible Parts Are The Boss Of The Constitution
Dumb Gay-Basher Gets Dumb Ass Handed To Him By Gay-Married West Point Ninjas
Schmuck Shoots At Jade Helm Troops, Thwarts Obama's Invasion Of Mississippi (Updated)
Jeb! Bush Loses Election 15 Months Early
Angry Fox Viewers Yell At Each Other, And It Is Hilarious
Happy 54th, President Obama! You're Still The Kenyan Muslim Infiltrator OF OUR HEARTS!
Horrible Bad Factory Farmers Can't Put You In Jail For Exposing Them No More!
'Priests For Life' Says We're Gonna Be All Eated Up By Racist Pervert Sex Dragon Thing
America Loves Ladyparts More Than Guns, Still Hates Republicans
Chris Christie's Hot Tips For Sexing Your Lady Without Putting A Babby In Her Butt
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Is A Idiot What Don't Write Good
Broke-Ass Duggars Forsaken By Their Lord, Please Send Money
'No Racial Slurs' Rule At Confederate Rally Worked Out As Well As You'd Expect
Wingnuts Want Very Own Sanctuary Cities Where Gay Abortions Can't Hurt Them
Bobby Jindal Sticks It To Planned Parenthood By Screwing The Poors
Amy Schumer Says Mass Shootings Somehow Involve Guns, Guess She Hates America
Elizabeth Warren To GOP: Exactly How Stupid Are You?
Which Parts Of Kraft Singles Are We Supposed To Eat? A Wonksplainer
Mean ACLU Sues Teacher For Trying To Shame Atheist Child Into Heaven
Ted Cruz Would Like You To Think About His Penis Wrapped In Bacon
Mike Huckabee Will Send Very Tiny Army Men Right Into Your Cooch
Mormon Dad Forgot To Teach Son To Hate Gays, Will Never Get His Own Planet Now
Watch Erick Erickson Shove This Coat Hanger Up GOP's Vagina!
Who Is Chris Christie Punching In The Face Today?
Dickbag Texas A.G. Indicted For Doing Bad Crimes, Being Dickbag
Donald Trump Imports Waitstaff From Mexico, To Keep An Eye On Them Probably
White House LOLs At Sen. Tom Cotton For Being Dumb Dork Austin Powers Wannabe
Koch Brothers Invite Reporters To Not Report On Party For Secret Donors
President Obama Sends Climate Change Memo To America's Idiots
Sass-Mouth Barack Obama Sasses The Republicans, Sassily. Your Weekly Top Ten.
Deleted Comments: A Real Marine In National Security Warns Wonkette To Leave Iran
Rick Scott Is Just Like Mother Teresa: Your Florida Roundup
None To Beam Up Just Yet: Your Saturday Nerdout
The Snake Oil Bulletin: This Week Full Of Actual Snakes!
The Long And Fartknocking Road: A Sarah Palin Channel Retrospectacular
Liberal Trolls Helpfully Improve Southern Pride Facebook Page, With Old Gay Dicks
Here Are 9 More Things For Steve King To Gay-Marry After He Divorces His Lawnmower
Donald Trump Will Repeal Obamacare, Replace It With Terrific Fence
Fox Genius Dana Perino Real Upset People Hate Torture More Than They Love Babies
Mike Huckabee Worried All The Military Ladies Will Want Fancy New Sex Boobies Now
Ted Cruz Tells Obama And Clinton To Stop Rubbing Their Lithe Bodies All Over Islamic Tyrants
Gay-Hating Oregon Bakers Real Tired Of Getting Concentration Camped By Hitler
Hillary Clinton Asks New York Times To F*ck Off And Die, Thanks
Wingnuts Win! AP History Exam Will Only Pass Patriot Kids Who Know America Is Perfect
Auschwitz Museum To Rename Itself 'Nothing Compared To Obama's Iran Deal' Museum
Republicans To Shut Down Government Again Because Screw You, America!
Verified Jew Person Sarah Silverman Is Biggest Hitler Since Barack Obama
Medicare Turns 50, F*ck You Zombie Reagan
Cincinnati Campus Cop Actually Charged With Murdering Black Guy On Camera, Weird
Donald Trump Does Not Want To See Your Disgusting Baby-Feedbags
Rick Perry And Donald Trump Both Have A Boy Penis, But Which One Is The Biggest???
Rules For Commenting Radicals: The Lion-Killer Update
Mike Huckabee: Maybe Holocaust Metaphor 'Not A Good One.' Or Maybe It Was AWESOME!
Wonkette Es Broked, Please Send Money
Donald Trump Knows Climate Change Is Just Classy, Luxurious Version Of Weather
Bryan Fischer To Save America From Satan Statues With Special Jesus Constitution
Oh No, Barack Obama Is Going To Do The Puppy Holocaust Now, For Allah!
Come On Down To This Confederate Flag Rally, But Please Don't Say N*gger Out Loud
Everyone Loves Planned Parenthood, So Republicans Are Trying To Kill It
Obama Could Be President For Life, But He Doesn't Want To. OR DOES HE?
No F*cking War With Iran, Says Everyone Including Morgan Freeman And Your Mom
Hillary Clinton Whips Out Her Big Science Brain To Make Republicans Jealous
Donald Trump Wants To Tap Sarah Palin, Wonkette Dies Of Orgasms
New York Times Sorry For Sucking At Journalism, Again
Here, Rage At This Dickhead American Dentist Who Murders Beautiful African Lions For Fun
Ben Carson Says Racist Obama Genociding All The Blacks
Boy Scouts Gay Now, Mormons' Magic Underpanties All In A Wad
Israel Tells Mike Huckabee To Shut His Stupid Squeal Hole
Donald Trump Never Raped His Wife And Even If He Did It Was Classy
Fox News Lady Idiots Sick Of Being Tyrannied By Minorities All The Time
Confederate Dead-Enders Not The Kind Of Clowns Black Kids Want At Birthday Parties
Rick Santorum Begs Jews To Hate His Guts Too
Bugs Bunny Is 75, And Now You Feel Like An Old
Todd Starnes Writes Love Letter To Donald Trump's Penis
Seattle Straight Pride Parade Goes Off Without Hitch, Paraders
Weird, Jews Don't Accept Mike Huckabee As Lord And Savior Either
Pat Robertson Reminds God To Murder Supreme Court
Trump, Walker OK With Huckabee Calling Obama Hitler, Wish They'd Said It First
Crybaby John Boehner Must Be On His Period Again
Douchebag Hipsters Named Trevor Would Like A Glass Of Your Finest Rosé Please
Rick Perry Gives Guns In Movie Theaters Two Thumbs Up
President Obama Politely Suggests Republicans Are Bunch Of A-Holes
Bobby Jindal Will Talk Gun Violence, Soon As He's Done Giving The NRA This Rimjob
Mike Huckabee: Obama's Actually Holocausting Jews For A Change
Senate Republicans Spent Their Sunday Being Dicks To Ted Cruz
Deleted Comments: Why Do You Liberals Care If Druggies Die?
A Completely True Story About A Brazilian Pastor And His Holy Peen Milk. Your Weekly Top Ten
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Creationist Aliens Want To Exorcise The Witchcraft From Your 'Puter
Here It Is, The Most Florida Headline To Ever Florida: Your Florida Roundup
NASA Discovers Earthlike Planet For Donald Trump To Be President Of: Your Saturday Nerdout
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Says Liberals Bad, Kevin Costner Movie Good
Florida Wingnuts Not About To Stand For Kiddie Books About 'Nice Muslims,' Hell No
Rush Limbaugh Mad Teenage Boys Don't Put Out Like They Used To
New York Times Writes Badass Slash Fiction About Hillary Clinton Criminal Investigation
Wonkette Camping Corner: Don't Set Your Poo Wipes On Fire, Dumbass
Lafayette Shooter Was Teabaggin', Gay-Hatin', Hitler-Lovin' Fool, THANKS OBAMA!
Bill Cosby Got Quaaludes For His Sore Vagina, To Sex Ladies In Their 'Rejection' Holes
PSA: Don't Make Meth In Federal Labs And Blow Them Up. You Might Lose Your Job.
Texas Says Sandra Bland Was Potted Up On Weed, Because That's What Makes You Die
Another Guy Shoots Up A Movie Theater. America!
New Poll Shows Republicans Starting To Realize They Suck
Military Recruiters Not Thrilled With Militia 'Protecting' Them, By Accidentally Shooting Stuff
Jeb Bush Will Murder Medicare And Your Mee-Maw
Ted Cruz Gets Republican Jizz All Over Your Beloved Star Trek
Kids These Days Good At Math, Bad At F*cking
Duggars Real Sad God Canceled Their Dumb TV Show
PC Police Murder Blackface Fundraiser For Cops Who Killed Freddie Gray
Sen. Tom Cotton Appalled How John Kerry Went To Iran To Crucify Jesus
Donald Trump Risks His Life To Yell At Messicans
Donald Trump Has YOOOOOOGE, Beautiful Plan To Elect Hillary Clinton President
Rachel Maddow Uses Tiny Words To Teach Rick Santorum How America Works
Senate GOP Screwing Lady Veterans Out Of Having Babies, Because Planned Parenthood
Nevada Wingnut Rep. Michele Fiore Stoled All The Money From Medicaid, Maybe
Sen. Joni Ernst Worried Obama Lowered Flag To Half Staff For Secret Muslin Reasons
Marco Rubio Thinks President Obama Is No-Class Bitch
Dumb Rick Perry To Dumb Donald Trump: MEEEEEE-OW! SCRATCH! HISS!
Wingnut Birthers Prove Hillary Clinton's Even More Secret Gay Muslim Than Obama
Donald Trump Would Agree Lindsey Graham Smashing His Phone To Sounds Of Vivaldi Is CLASSY
Rick Santorum Should Try Calling Donald Trump An Asshole If He Wants Any Attention
I Am Donald J. Trump, TEN BILLIONAIRE, I Own A Mansion And A Yacht
Loser Dudes Who Harass Ladies Online Are Micropenis Losers In Real Life Too, Says Science
Sandra Bland Arrest Video Explains Nothing About Her Death, Everything About Dick Texas Cop
Bill Cosby: Stop Smearing Me By Quoting All My Rape Words In The Newspaper!
Conservatives Hate New Pope Now, For Being Dumb Commie Tree-Hugger
Arizona Governor Demands Emergency Ban On Nonexistent Baby-Parts Flea Markets
Pat Robertson Still Worried You’re Gonna Gay-Bang Your Dog
Nice White Dad Mysteriously Dies In Police Custody, We Can Talk Police Brutality Now?
Sen. Jim Inhofe's Imaginary Friend Dying To Know Where Transgender Troops Will Go Potty
Old Handsome Joe Biden Mauled In Puppy Dog Play Fight
Florida Gun Shop Will Keep You And Your Treason Flag Safe From Marauding Islamics
Republican Sen. Mitch McConnell Is NOT Going To Vote For Hillary's Vagina
Donald Trump Scrawls Lindsey 'Good Time' Graham's Cell Phone Number On Bathroom Wall
Rand Paul Must Be Craaaaazy With This Tax-Code-Slashing Ad! Every Page Must Go!
National Review Calls Bernie Sanders A Nazi, For The LOLs
Donald Trump Sorry Everyone Too Stupid To Understand John McCain Is Big War Hero Loser
Let's Learn About That Jerk From Ohio Who's Not Going To Be President, Then Promptly Forget
Dead Breitbart Real Upset How Gay Rainbow Flag Murdered Those Marines In Chattanooga
Barack Obama Hacking Your Puters To Steal All The White People Money
Texans Fear Muslim Corpses Will Escape Planned Cemetery, Do Jihad On Them
Sarah Palin Says Donald Trump Is Also Too A POW Hero, Of Our Hearts
Donald Trump Winning Because Plenty Of Republicans Like Loudmouthed Dickheads
Looks Like Gawker's Got Some Job Openings, Y'all
President Scott Walker To Bomb Iran, Like, Yesterday
Ben Shapiro Files Charges Against Transgender Lady For Making Him Look Like Total Pussy
Nine Mean Names Elizabeth Warren Should Call Donald Trump
Stupid Fox News Idiots Confused Why Sharks Always Live In The Ocean So Much
KKK And Black People Celebrate Post-Racial Harmony, With Their Fists
If You're One Of Ashley Madison's 40 Million Gross Cheating Whores, We Have Bad News
Donald Trump YOOOOGE Fan Of God And Those Little Jesus Crackers
How Many Fox News Anchors Does It Take To Give Donald Trump A Rimjob?
John McCain Graciously Refuses To Tell Donald Trump To F*ck Himself In The Ear
Scott Walker Not Sure How You Get The Gay, But Knows He Doesn't Like It
Donald Trump Can't Believe People Don't Like His Straight Talk On Loser POWs
All Of U.S. America Was A Total Sh*t Show, How Was Your Weekend?
Seattle Earthquakes, Unborned Fetus Parts And Gawker! Your Weekly Top Ten.
Deleted Comments Of The Week: More Butthurt Confederates, If You Can Believe That
It Was A Bad Week To Go To The Grocery Store: Your Florida Roundup
Snake Oil Bulletin: God Frees Tax-Criming Creationist From Slammer Right On Time, Praise Jesus!
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Channel Announces Blowout Sale, All Derp Must Go
John Lewis Is A Comics Superhero, Prepare For Ludicrous Speed, And Earth 2.0: Your Saturday Nerd-Out
Wingnuts Fondly Remember Simpler Time, When Americans Were Too Poor For Buttsex
An Open Letter To Gawker, From Your Friend Wonkette
Rand Paul Canceling Government Again, Because Planned Parenthood (And Because He's A Dick)
Butthurt Crackers Butthurt Over Slavery Monument Since They Can't Have Treason Flag
Godly Grifter Jim Bakker Says Iran Deal Means End Times, Please Send Money
Jeb Bush Says Gays Can Have Flowers, But Not Gay Flowers
Barack Obama Goes To Prison. Sorry, Wingnuts, He's Just Visiting
Disgraced Former Rep. And Roid-Rager Michael Grimm Going To Pokey, For Tax Criming
Donald Trump Defeats Soviet Union, Builds Vietnam Memorial With His Bare Hands
Rep. Steve King Is Most Mexicanest Person Alive, Says Rep. Steve King
New Orleans Crotch Cricket Rate Off The Charts, So Let's Not Teach Sex Ed
Why Do Black People Keep Killing Themselves When They Get Arrested?
Tyrant Dad Barack Obama Won't Let His Girls Text At Dinner Table, IMPEACH!
Stupid Donald Trump Says Rick Perry Is The Real Stupid
Four Marines Murdered By ISIS, Or Maybe Just Lone Wolf With Muslimy Name, Who Knows?
Old Man Married To Queen Calls People Spongers On Way To Cash Million-Pound Treasury Cheque
House GOP Knew About Planned Parenthood's Fetus Parts Yard Sale Last Month, Didn't Care
Caitlyn Jenner Is Not Afraid Of You And She Will Beat Your Ass, Backwards, In Heels
Lindsey Graham Isn't A Scientist, But He Thinks Scientists Know Stuff. He's Doomed.
L. Ron Hubbard Controlling Texas Now From Beyond Earthly Grave
Hey, GOP, If You Love Donald Trump So Much, You Can Shove Him Up Your Butthole
Dumb Okie Hicks Greet 'President' Obama With Treason Flag, Love
Barack Obama Stoled All The Rain In California And Gave It To Iran, Says Drunk John Boehner
TLC Sends Duggars Away To Live On Farm With Honey Boo Boo's Mom
PSA: Do NOT French Kiss Your Chickens With Your Tongues, You'll Get Salmonella Herpes
Sarah Palin: Iran Bad, Obama Bad, Let's Build A Wall, Something Something You Betcha
NOM Spokesbigot Says It's Bad For Teachers To Secretly Gas Jews, Be Lesbians
Dumb A-Hole Scott Walker Wants To Protect Boy Scouts From Politicians Like Him
In Surprise Twist, Texas Town Allows Fabulous Kids' Books To Gay Up Public Library
Obama Doing Black-On-Black Racism To Bill Cosby, All Because Of A Few Measly Rapes
GOP Senator Enraged Obama Giving Arms To Iran, Wait That Was Reagan
Democratic Plant Donald Trump Is Not Democratic Plant, Says Donald Trump
Federal Court Tells Nuns To Shove Paperwork Right Up Their Jesus Holes
Scott Walker Literally Begging For Pee Now
Tennessee Says Don't Drive Drunk, And Don't Go Home With That Ugly Bitch Either
Texas Tells American Babies To Go Back To Mexico
Actual Nazi Sentenced To Prison For Genocide, Obamacare
Scott Walker Joins The 'Tough On Iran Like Reagan Was' Club
Scott Brown Wrote Country Sexxx Song About His Wife, To Play When They Have Country Sexxx
Ted Cruz Super Excited By NASA Pluto Flyby, Still Wants To Murder NASA
Why Is Planned Parenthood Selling Your Babby For Scrap? (Oh Right, It's Not)
Butthurt Missouri County Decides To Stop Being Butthurt, For The Troops
Young Donald Trump Was Too Big A Pussy To Fight Wars For America
Man Nabbed In Horsef*cking Sting, Not Even From Florida
University Cancels Dumb Jenny McCarthy Anti-Vaxxer 'Science' Class
Seattle To Be Destroyed By Biggest Earthquake Ever, Bye Seattle!
Scott Walker Says Minimum Wage Is 'Lame,' Poor People Grody To the Max
Oklahoma Republicans Make Hilarious Joke About How Poors Are Gross Animals
Rick Santorum Needs You To Know His Wife Used To Shack Up With An Abortionist
Iran Nuclear Deal Will Either Usher In New Era Of Peace Or End Of Civilization As We Know It
Alex Jones: I'm No Homophobe, It's Just That UN Is Using Gays To Kill Off Humanity
Sad White Couple So Sad Black Town Doesn't Appreciate Confederate Flag Parade
Mean Judge Makes Felon Dinesh D'Souza Clean All The Freeways With Lindsay Lohan
Butthurt Missouri County To Spend Year Mourning Gay-Murder Of Marriage
Congrats Trans Folk, Obama To Let You Meet Interesting People And Kill Them!
Jade Helm Week Is Here. Have You Decorated Your Bunker Yet?
Who Would Win In A Cage Fight Between Donald Trump And El Chapo?
Surprise! Basically All Women Who Have Abortions Just Fine With That, Actually
Gov. Paul LePage Accidentally Turning Maine Into Feminist Paradise, Haha, Whoops
Nice Texas Judge Willing To Homo-Marry You If He Must, As Long As You Know He Hates You
Fox's Todd Starnes Will Save America With Smoked Pork Butt, Just Like Jesus
Wingnut Fox Pastor: Jesus Wasn't Some Mexican-Loving, Sunflower Seed-Munching Pussy
Another Dumb A-Hole Is Going To Not Be President, And This Time It's Scott Walker
Donald Trump Wishes We'd Invaded Mexico For Doing 9/11, Maybe
Beached North Carolina Wingnuts Worry Only Gays Will Get Rescued From Drowning Now
Let's Take Bets On What Sarah Palin Will Quit Next! Your Weekly Top Ten
Deleted Comments: Democrats Did The KKK, So Wonkette's The REAL Racist
Lady Beaters, Fetus Shooters And Bar Fights: Your Florida Roundup (Is Extra Violent This Week)
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxer Death Squads Will Set Us Free
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Is Your New James Joyce Yes She Said Yes She Will Yes
Afternoon Nicest Time: The Time Young Handsome Joe Biden Fell In Love With Gay Marriage
Former Rep. John Dingell Bored At Airport, Wins Internet All Over Again
Mean New York Times Won't Let Ted Cruz Cheat His Way Onto Bestseller List
Here Goes South Carolina's Treason Flag. Bye-Bye Treason Flag! Byeeeee!
Gay-Hatin' Kentucky County Clerk: I'm Only A Dick Because I Love Jesus Too Much
Stupid Man On Internet Says Commie Pope Loves Bolivian Commie Crucifix, Is Communist
Tyrant Obamacare Insuring More Americans Than Ever, Thanks Obama!
A Story About Mexican Drug Violence Donald Trump Is Too Weak To Tell
Nancy Pelosi Sticks Confederate Flag In Republicans' Eyeholes, Chaos Ensues
Gun Humpers Put Away Obama Shooting Targets (For Now), Use Gay Rainbow Flags Instead
Fox 'Doctor' Keith Ablow: Men Punch Ladies Because We Let Girls Do Sports
Let's Dig Up The Rotting Bones Of Confederate Traitor (And KKK Founder) Nathan Bedford Forrest!
Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin To State Supreme Court: You Are Not The Boss Of Her!
South Carolina Removes Confederate Treason Flag That U.S. House Republicans Can't Quit
Will Old Handsome Joe Biden Be President Of Hillary Clinton? MAYBE!
Jimmy Carter Says Gay Boning Is Just All Right With Jesus
George W. Bush: Sorry About All The Maiming. That Will Be $100,000, Please.
Mean U.S. Constitution Bullies Alabama Town Into Removing Christian Flag From City Hall
Jeb! Bush To America: Work Makes You Free
Let's Point And Laugh At Dumb Jim Carrey Twitter-Ranting About Vaccines
Idiot Texas County Clerk Lady Issues Declaration About How Good She Hates The Gays
Minuteman Border Militia Creep Maybe Molested Little Girls? Oh Yay It Gets Worse
All The Mexican Rapists Will Vote For Donald Trump, Says Noted Idiot Donald Trump
Here's Your Video Of An Ignorant Bigot Lady Clerk Denying Gays A Marriage License For Jesus
Dumb Florida Rednecks Don’t Give A Sh*t, Gonna Hoist Them Stars And Bars
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Doesn't Know How To Veto Stuff Good, Just Enacted Welfare For Refugees
This Is Just A Really Nice Town Seal Of A White Dude Killing An Indian Dead
Here Is The Gay Evolution Kirk Cameron Sexxytime Novelette You Didn't Know You Needed
Wingnut Tennessee Rep Lady Named 'Butt' Has Dick All Over New Campaign Logo
Rick Santorum Takes Victory Lap Now That Supreme Court Allows Man-Dog Marriages
Arizona Held The Stupidest Confederate Flag Protest Ever, And It Was Beautiful
Bill Cosby Doesn't Cause Rape, That Jive-Bottomed Rap Music Causes Rape
Come Make Lifelong Friends And Learn New Skills At The KKK's Funtimes Summer Camp!
'God Hates Retirement' Is Wingnuts' Hot New Reason For Killing Social Security
Bill Cosby: Always Room For Moral Scolding (While Paying The Women Their Rape Moneys)
New Texas Textbooks Love The Confederacy (And Their Sisters) So Much
Well Of Course Undocumented Immigrants Are Helping Build Donald Trump's New DC Hotel
South Carolina Senator Cries Hilarious Man-Sobs For Confederate Flag Bested By Gayness
Convict James O'Keefe: Help, I Am Being Treated Like A Convict!
Ted Cruz Will Save Jew Churches From The Homosexuals
Chuck C. Johnson Has Thoughts On The Charleston Shootings. They Are Strange And Racist Thoughts.
Why Isn't Donald Trump Yelling At These Orthodox Jews?
Subway's Jared Lost A Lot of Weight, Gained A Lot Of Child Porn (Allegedly)
Sports Lady Will Tell Large Men How To Use Their Balls
Email From Your Crazy Uncle: Obama Welcomes ISIS Youth Groups To Michigan, Sure Why Not
Bill Cosby: I Put The Rape Drugs In The Women
Look Upon This Comment Of The Day And Weep, Ye Mighty
Happy Birthday, George W. Bush, Come Get Yr Bowl Of Salted Rat Dicks!
Champion USA-America Soccer Lady Wins Match, Gets Lesbianism All Over TV Screen, USA!
Lawsuit Against Trump's Scammy 'University' May Reveal What The Bastard's Really Worth
Media That Writes About Hillary Clinton's Shoes Demands She Show Them More Respect
Scott Brown Elected Senator Of Pyramid Schemes
Pro-Life Colorado Republicans Angry That Teen Abortion Rate Declining
Donald Trump Dimly Aware That Messicans Don't Like Being Called Rapists And Murderers
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Was It Over When The Jews Bombed Pearl Harbor?
The Fartknocker Report: Nanny-Stater Sarah Palin Tells America How To Raise Kids Good
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Let's Slut It Up With Some Hot Hugging Action!
Our Terribleness Is 'Staggeringly Impressive': Your Florida Roundup
Sarah Palin Declares Independence From Pretending To Be Employed. Your Weekly Top Ten.
HI YOU WANNA LOOK AT SOME WONKETTE BABY PICTURES? Shut Up Liar, Yes You Do
Lather Up Your Sexy 4th Of July Body With These Homemade JAMS!
A Children's Treasury Of Sexy Fourth Of July Patriotic Musical Videos
What Is Wonkette Ramming Down Your Throat This Fourth Of July?
Barack Obama's Terrible, Horrible, Badass, Balls Out Rager Of A Week
Girl Scouts Sneak Past Secret Service, Camp Out On White House Lawn
HELP WANTED: Tennessee County Clerk's Office Seeks Non-Bigot Applicants For All Positions
California 'Kill The Gays' Lawyer Figures Amending Constitution Should Let Him Kill The Gays
Watch Lindsey Graham Cry Like A Little ... Oh, He's Crying For Joe Biden. Carry On!
Poor Oil Giant BP Has To Pay $18.7 Billion Just For Wrecking Gulf Of Mexico
Majority Of Americans Agree God Loves America Best
'Democrat' Jim Webb Announces Candidacy To Be 2016's Tim PawlentyZZZZZZZZZ
Wingnut Gay-Hatin' Texas A.G. Might Go To Jail Forever Because HAHAHAHAHA
Death-Threatening Loon Just Death-Threatening Lady Pastors For Their And Jesus's Own Good
Killer Mike Doesn't Hit His Wife, And Other Reasons Hip-Hop Is More Moral Than Bill O'Reilly
Sincerely Held Belief In Publicity Inspires Reality TV Polygamists To Apply For Marriage License
Obama Set To Legalize Dog-On-Boy Rape, Says Clinically Sane Tom DeLay
This GoFundMe Sh*t Is Really Getting Out Of Hand
Bobby Jindal Will Protect Straight Marriage The Bestest, He Can Be President Now? (Updated)
Giant Pussies At LSU Fire Professor For Saying Bad, Bad Words
Total Joke Bernie Sanders Draws Ten Thousand For Wisconsin Rally, LOL What A Joke
Things That Do Not Go In Guacamole
Miscarrying Lady Almost Dies At Catholic Hospital, But At Least She Didn't Get An Abortion
Could All Sen. Jim Inhofe's 'Gay Friends' Please See Wonkette After Class?
Dear Black Folks, Mike Huckabee Would Like To Be Your White Knight
Idiot Wingnut Chick: America's Not Racist, Except For Obama
Donald Trump Fires Macy's For Letting Mexican Rapists Into America
Fidel Castro Wins Cold War, Hooray!
Hispanic ¡Jeb! Bush Says Donald Trump Wrong About His People Being Drug-Criming Rapists
GOP Congresstwit So Sad SCOTUS Pissed On Graves Of Christian Civil War Heroes
Donald Trump Knows First Amendment Just As Good As He Knows Mexicans
Justice Department: Maybe Police Treating Ferguson Like Fallujah Was A Bad Idea
Jesus-American County Clerks Paralyzed By Gay Cooties
Wingnut Terror Alert Level Raised To 'Hey Gurl!' After White House Gay Rainbow Display
Oklahoma Supreme Court Murders God
Jeb Bush Tax Returns Reveal He's F*cking Rich
Confederate Loser Buys Delicious ISIS Cake From Walmart Bakery, Doesn't Eat It
BREAKING: Majority Of Americans Like Taking Gay Obamacare Up The Butt
California Pries Measles Out Of Anti-Vaxxers' Cold, Dumb Hands
Open Enrollment For Gay Reparations Beginning Soon, According To Anonymous Moron
Girl Scouts Will Get Along Just Fine Without Transgender-Hating Bigot Bucks, Thank You
Rick Santorum: Know What Really Makes Sea Levels Rise? Gay Marriage.
Chris Christie Announces Presidential Campaign By Yelling At America For Its Own Good
Chin Up, New York Poors, You No Longer Have To Use Separate-But-Equal Doors
KKK Throwing Totally Non-Racist Confederate Flag Party At South Carolina Capitol
President Obama To Give Everyone Free Money Just For Working Real Hard
Bobby Jindal Didn't Mind Stomping On Freedom When Judge Blocked Interracial Marriage
Whore-Sexing Sen. David Vitter Wiped Away Gay Marriage Tears With Greasy Chick-Fil-A Meat
Jeb! Bush So Proud He Quietly Hid Confederate Flag, Stuck It To PC Police
Donald Trump Fired From NBC For Being YOOOOOOOGE Racist Lick Knob
African American Churches Sure Burning Down A Lot, Probably War on Christians
Alabama Needs Time To Relax Sphincter For First Gay Marriaging
Bristol Palin A Smidge Displeased With All You MOTHERFARKING JERKFACE BITCHEZ!
Muslim-Hatin' Rep: But Are White Terrorists Even Terrorists, Really?
When Will God Stop Forcing Ben Carson To Run For President?
Supreme Court Conservatives Say Murdering Inmates Still A-OK
Texas And Other States Fixin' To Secede From Gay Union
Donald Trump Bans Mean Spanishes From Fancy-Pants Miami Resort
GOP Rep. To Supreme Court: If You Like Obamacare So Much, Why Don't You Gay Marry It?
Nerdy Teens Invent 'Smart Condom' To Detect STDs, Never Getting Laid Now
Hero Shows Removing Confederate Flag Mostly A Matter Of Pulling The Damned Thing Down
CNN EXCLUSIVE: Beware The Flag Of Radical Islamic Dildos And Buttplugs
Gay Marriage, Confederate Flags, And Bristol Palin's Immaculate Conception! Your Weekly Top Ten.
Deleted Comments Of The Week: The Illiterate, The Perverse, And The Deranged
Flatworms, Flesh-Eating Bacteria And Rick Scott (But We Repeat Ourselves): Your Florida Roundup
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin's Empire Of Grift Crumbles Into The Eternal Sea
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Activist Court Says De-Gaying Hot Naked Dudes Is 'Fraud' Somehow
Barack Obama's Eulogy For Charleston Victims Is Amazing, Graceful (Video)
A Sappy Love Letter From Your Gay Wonkette, About America Getting Gay Marriaged In The Butt
Hillary Clinton's Gay Marriage Video Will Give Your Cold Shriveled Heart ALL The Feels
Supreme Court Losers Lose Their Sh*t Over Gay Marriage, And It's Delightful
Nice Knowing Y'all, Louie Gohmert Says God's Gonna Smite Us Now
Wingnut Texas AG Has Hilarious, Beautiful Meltdown Over Gay Marriage
How GOP 'Presidents' Will Fail To Save America From Buttsex-Based Marriage
How SCOTUS Decided To Turn America Gay: A Wonksplainer
Obama Hearts Gay Marriage, Hates God
Wingnuts Very Upset That Gay Jihadists Just Did 9/11 To America
Supreme Court Says We Are All Gay-Married Now, America F*ck Yeah!
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Facing Impeachment For Alleged Blackmail, Being A-Hole
Donald Trump Has To Sue Univision Now, Because It Acted Too Mexican At Him
Looks Like God Knocked Up Bristol Palin Again
Every Single GOP Candidate Has A Cunning Plan To Murder Obamacare On Day One
If Tennessee Renames Park Honoring KKK Founder, ISIS Wins
Use These 5 Black Hippity-Hop Songs To Oppress Sean Hannity's Lily-White Ass
Ted Cruz Confuses Indiana's Anti-Gay Law With The Alamo, Thinks He's Davy Crockett
Let's Get Drunk On Republican Obamacare Tears, Together!
President Obama: I Will Never Stop Cramming Obamacare Down America's Throat
Supreme Court Gay-Marries Obamacare Again, For Republicans And America
Whole Foods Busted For Overpriced Organic Vegan Tofu Yuppie Chow
Lindsey Graham Figures Charleston Shooter Must Be Some Kind Of Ay-Rab, Somehow
Bobby Jindal Is The Wingnut Presidential Candidate Nobody's Been Waiting For
'Democrat' Jim Webb Fondly Remembers Slave Holders, Still Won't Be President
Surprise, America, Your Worst Terrorists Are White Wingnuts!
Nikki Haley Did Her One Good Thing, Back To Being Coward Now
Oppressed Wingnuts: Please Stop Lynching Us With Gay Rainbow Flag!
Confederates Mourn As Flags Quietly Secede From Poles, License Plates
Nebraska Guy Wishes To Join ISIS, To Win Back Confiscated Pussy
Mean Attorney General Won't Let Californians Vote To Kill Homos Dead
Won't Some Nice White Person Please Give Ann Coulter A Hug?
Sarah Palin Loses Fox News 'Job' Again, Guess She'll Have To Find New 'Job'
Texas Separatists Find New Freedom-Loving President: Vladimir Putin
Saving Planet Would Save Lots Of Money Too, Go Figure!
New Poll Finds Hillary Clinton Already President
Wonkette Doesn't Sell Confederate Flag Apparel, But We Gots Panties With Teeth!
America's Worst Lawyer, Larry Klayman, Explains How Barack Obama Got Those Blacks Shot In Charleston
Mike Huckabee: Can We Shut Up About Racism And Talk About My Lord And Savior Jesus Christ?
Texas Doesn't Care If You Have Cancer In Your Ladyparts
Confederate Flag Suddenly More Hated Than Donald Trump, Pubic Lice
Here's A Jaunty Gay-Hatin' Campaign Song For Republicans, Since They Can't Use Any Others
Obamacare Great For Poors And Minorities, No Wonder GOP Hates It
Millennials Do Racism Almost As Good As They Do Texting, Studies Show
Walmart Wonders Where It Got All This Confederate Flag Merch
Fired White Supremacist Cop Seeks Confederate Support (U.S. Currency Only)
Life On Earth Doomed, Everybody Panic. Or Go Shopping, Whatever
Rick Perry Wants To Free Americans From Tyranny Of Obamacare By Letting Them Keep Obamacare
Jeb Bush Will Fight Gay Marriage Forever! Or Until He Changes His Mind
Republicans Decide Time Has Come To Take Sorta Brave Stand Against Confederate Flag
Rep. Steve King: Who Cares About A Few Massacres When You Have All This Freedom?
RINO Ben Carson Nukes Own Chances At GOP Nomination, Declares Racism Not Over
IBM Punches Gov. Bobby Jindal In Scrotum Sac Over Gay-Hating Executive Order
Joe Arpaio Happy To Guard Black Churches, Whether They Want Him Or Not
Charleston Killer's Favorite Racist Gave A Bunch Of Money To Top Republicans, Oops
Fox News Race Experts So Mad Obama Allowed To Use N-Word And They Aren't
Ted Cruz Tells Another Appropriate Well-Timed Joke, This Time About Guns Ha Ha Ha
Kids These Days So Lame They Don't Even Get Potted Up On Legal Weed
Tucker Carlson Revives Hilarious 'Disarm The Secret Service' Gag From 2013
Chuck C. Johnson Sues Gawker For Defecation Defamation, May Also Have Banged Sheep
GOP Candidates On Confederate Flag Ranked, From Yellow To Romney
Deleted Comments: What Did You Do In The Race War, Daddy?
And Then Suddenly All Eyes Were On Charleston. Your Weekly Top Ten.
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Revenge Of The Son Of The Bride Of Dracula Vag
Is This Thing Loaded? Only One Way To Find Out: Your Florida Roundup
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Takes Summer Vacation, Leaves Fans Lonely, Confused
Make Your Dad's Fathers Day Great, With Wonkette Signature Dadbod Apparel!
Look Over Here, It's An Octopus So Adorable We Can't Even!
Here Are 9 Wingnut Reasons For Charleston Murders That Aren't Spelled R-A-C-I-S-M
Lindsey Graham Says Being Confederate Loser Racists Is Just Part Of Who We Are, Y'all
Alabama Cops Suspended Just For Being In Neo-Confederate Hate Group. How Is That Fair? (UPDATED)
Kansas Republicans Very Upset Black Lady Rep Called Them Big Dumb Racists
Charleston Killer's Pals: You Wanna Kill Black People, That's Your Bidness
Jeb Bush Doesn't Wanna Believe Racist Murderer Is Racist, And You Can't Make Him
Badass Baltimore Lady Will Make Yard 'Relentlessly Gay' As She Wants, Thanks
Teacher Fired For Saying 'Sandy Hook' During Safety Drill Inspired By Sandy Hook
Supreme Court: Texas Doesn't Have To Put Your Loser Confederate Flag On License Plates
NRA Dude Identifies Real Charleston Shooter. Surprise, It Was The Black Pastor!
Dylann Roof Confesses To Murdering 9 To Start Race War, Real Motive Still Unknown
Feminists Murder Patriarchy Again, For Ten Dollar Bill
You Should Watch These Kittens, Science Says It's Good For You
Dr. King's Most Embarrassing Niece Knows Charleston Shooting Happened Because Abortion
New Study: No, Dear, The Answer Isn't More Guns
Rick Santorum Worried Gays Won't Let America Pray For Charleston Shooting Victims
Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston
President Obama Divides Nation, Says Charleston Shooting Involved Gun
Wingnuts React To Charleston Church Shooting With Thoughtful Gravitas We've Come To Expect
Fox News Condemns Vicious Hate Crime In Charleston -- Against Christians
Gunman Kills 9 At Black Church In Charleston, Clearly An Isolated Incident
Donald Trump Says Bill Clinton Was Best, Classiest President Ever, Too Bad About Hillary's Age
Science Nerds To Climate Deniers: Wanna Bet 'Climate Change' Isn't Real? For Real, Wanna Bet?
Daily Caller Very Worried Gays Being Treated Poorly At Oklahoma University
Maryland Girl Scouts Too Black To Have Opinions On Animal Abuse, We Guess
Wingnuts: Sure, Josh Duggar Molested Kids, But Barack Obama Molested America Way Worse
NC Teacher Resigns After Reading Kids Fairy Tale With The Queer Kind Of Fairies
Gov. Sam Brownback Only Raised Taxes On Poors, So It Doesn't Count, Right?
Wingnut Congressmen Have Little Tiff, Kiss And Make Up Because BENGHAZI!
Baptists Find Neat Loophole To Fire Janitors Who Do Gay Stuff In The Butt
Here's A Few More Lefty Neil Young Songs For Donald Trump To F*ck Right Off To
Florida Tax Break For Fancy Yacht People Will Create All The Jobs, You Betcha
California GOP Lady: Why Cram Vaccines Down Everyone's Throat Over One Measly Outbreak?
Jesus Christ Welcomes You To Hawkins, Texas, But Not In Some 'Religious' Way
Will Christian DJs Go To Hell For Celebrating 60-Year-Old Gay Dudes' Birthdays?
Of Course Fake 'Black' Lady Will Get Reality TV Show Now, Because America
Houston Astros Hacked, Maybe Should Change Password To Something Better Than 'LOLSPORTS'
Senate Votes To End Torture, Not That We Ever Did That
Here Are 12 Of The Stupidest Things Ever To Come Out Of Donald Trump's Mouth Hole
Texas To Build Very Own Gold Stash Inside Giant 20-Acre Mattress
Donald Trump Farts Out Yoogest, Classiest Presidential Campaign Announcement, From His Butt
Fired Fox Anchor Will Never Achieve Dream Of Whites, Blacks Hurling N-Word Equally
Donald Trump Puts A Ring On It ('It' Being America; 'Ring' Being The Kind For Your Penis)
Border Patrol Bravely Protects America From Job-Stealing Preschoolers
Weather Channel Has Evil Scheme To Trick Old Wingnuts Into Believing Climate Change Is Real
Congratulations, Texas! No Way Will This 101-Year-Old Lady Do Vote Fraud Now!
Man Bones Wife's Dog. Down, Boy, Down!
Colorado Supreme Court Solves Pressing Problem Of Stoner Quadriplegics In The Workplace
Rachel Dolezal Got Reverse Racisted Before She Got Racisted
Get Your Sexy Bernie Sanders T-Shirts Now, To Put On Your Dadbod!
Moby Says You Can Eat That Cheeseburger, As Long As You Never Shower Again
Rachel Dolezal Quits NAACP, Will Continue Fight For Her People, Whoever They Are
Scott Brown Senator Of Bike Shop Now, LOL
White Power Idiot's New Plan To Buy Tiny Town For Aryan Paradise May Still Have Some Kinks
Rich A-Holes Guzzling California's Last Drops Of Water Because 'We're Not All Equal'
Here Are 50,443 Inspiring Americans Who Won't Let Supreme Court Do Gay Stuff To Their Butts
George W. Bush Real Glad He Won Iraq War, Misses Commander Guy Cosplay
Chris Christie Locks Down Voters Who Love Student Loan Debt
Wingnuts Outraged Juggalos And Fox News Classified As Hate Groups, Except They Weren't
New Texas 'Open Carry' Gun Law Still Won't Let You Do Crimes, Have Gun. Sooooo Unfair
Official 'Kick Me' Sign Now Available From Jeb! Bush Campaign Swag Shop
Deleted Comments: Leave The Duggars Alooooooone
It's A Nice Day For A Wonkette Online Baby Shower! Your Weekly Top Ten.
Oh Hey There’s A Shark In The Middle Of The Road, Guess The State: Your Florida Roundup
The Snake Oil Bulletin: When Your Psychic Tells You To Buy Her A Time Machine, Run Away
Mississippi Grads' Families Won't Face Jail Time For Being Excessively Proud Of Kids
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Vomits Pre-Digested Content Right Down Your Throathole
Actual Live Human Being Emerges From Mommyblog Editrix's Abdomen
Wingnut Chorus: Fake-Black NAACP Lady Just Like Fake-Lady Caitlyn Jenner, Haw Haw Haw
Sen. Jim Inhofe Tells Pope To Leave Climate Change To Scientists At Big Oil
Democrats Betray Obama On Trade Deal, Guess He's Done Being President Now
Wonkette Writes Wingnut Letters To President Obama, About How He Is A Idiot
Elizabeth Warren Pretty Sure She Knows A Thing Or Two About How Banks Work, Thank You
Jeb Bush Told Lady Poors To Get Hitched, Ended Poverty Forever, Hooray!
Lo Unto Wonkette A Child Is Born
Charming Fella Just Needs $1 Million To Run Blacks Out Of Texas
Former IMF Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn May Be Gross Rapey Perv, But He's No Pimp
Nevada's Bunny Ranch: Stay Away From Our Nice Hooker Sex Ladies, Josh Duggar!
California Lady Lawmaker Knows What Causes Droughts, And It Is Abortion
Being God's Chosen Presidential Candidate Giving Ted Cruz Nasty Case Of Stigmata
Colorado Man Shoots Own Foot To See How That Feels
Wingnut Millennial Picks Dumb Fight With Wingnut Boomer On Fox, Hilarity Ensues
Arizona's 'F*ck Islam' Hero Selling Motorcycle To Buy More Guns, Obviously
Jeb Bush Doesn't Think Single Moms Are Dirty Whores Anymore
Creation Museum Guy: If Miley Cyrus Is So Gay, She Should Do Sex To Barnyard Animals
Let's Remember 11 Times Rupert Murdoch Was A Giant Cretinous Sh*thead
Mike Huckabee Sure Does Pal Around With A Lot Of Alleged Child Molesters
Fox News Says Fine, Little League GOP Candidates Can Have TV Debate Too
Mitt Romney's Summer Camp Teaches Republicans How To Lose Like Mitt Romney
Nobel Laureate Resigns, Just for Saying Girl Scientists Can't Stop Getting Lady Boners In Lab
Chase CEO Jamie Dimon Wonders If Elizabeth Warren Even Knows How Banks Work
Nice Christian Forced To Ditch Wife Now That Gays Have Ruined Everything
Texas Cop Sorry Roughing Up Teens Offended You, But He Had A Hard Day Too
Yr Wonket's New Wingnut Admirer Wants To Put His Peen In A Liberal Lady Editor
Rand Paul Can Fix Racism With Tax Cuts And More Republicans
Big Banks Won't Stop Cramming Homosexuals Down Franklin Graham's Throat
Superhero Barack Obama Spending Summer Vacation Saving The World
Nine Things President Obama Might Be Holding Besides This Dirty Pack Of Cigarettes
What Are Dumb Duggars Trying To Hide Now?
Kansas Plan To F*ck The Poors Somehow Costing Millions, Is That Bad?
Very Sane Montana Republican Will Let You Retire At 600, Maybe
This Is The Worst Thing Pat Robertson Has Ever Said
President Lindsey Graham Doesn't Need First Lady, Hos Can Just Take Turns
Texas Pool Party Cop Resigns To Spend More Time Wrestling His Family To The Ground
Fifth Circuit Protects Texas Ladies From 'Unsafe' Abortions By Letting Them Have None At All
Duck Dynasty Dude Was Molested Too, And Not Just By Family's Gross Religious Beliefs
Florida Teen Gets Honor Society Gig After All, Despite Slutty Sundress
Email From Your Crazy Uncle: John Kerry Didn't Wreck His Bike, ISIS Tried To Kill Him
Cleveland Rabble-Rousers Charge Cop For Murdering Tamir Rice, Since No One Else Will
Sarah Palin Goes On Fox To Yell At Fox For Molesting Duggar Girls On Fox
Jeb Bush: Let's Get Rid Of Unwed Whores By Making Fun Of Them In Public
Wingnuts Outraged Teen In Bikini Forced Hero Cop To Smack Her Around Some
Rick Santorum Has One Supporter In Iowa, And Her Name Is Peggy
Young Mom Charged With Murder For Home Abortion, Another 'Pro-Life' Victory!
SWAT Team Probably Had Very Good Reasons For Blowing Colorado House All To Hell
Gov. Sam Brownback To Judges: Wouldn't It Be A Shame If I Stoled All Your Moneys?
Lady Sen. Joni Ernst Knows Ladies, And Hillary Clinton Is No Lady
Republicans Have Secret Plan If SCOTUS Kills Obamacare. No, You Can't See It.
People Have Paid Millions To Listen To George W. Bush, For Some Reason
If Your Erection Lasts Longer Than 6 Days, Better Hope You're Not In A New York Jail
Ted Cruz Supports Gun Control, To Protect Ted Cruz
Surprise! Americans Love Socialism, Want To Kiss Bernie Sanders Right On His Man-Lips
Mike Huckabee Wants You To Know He's Still Mighty Proud To Be A-Hole
Rick Santorum Says Pope Francis Is Bad At Science, Bad For America
TSA Way Better At Catching Breast Milk Than Terrorists Or Weapons
White Cop Who Shot Unarmed Black Man Dead Not Getting Away With Murder Just Yet
Arkansas Senator Dude Tired Of Homos Parading About During Sunday Church Services
Minnesota Archdiocese Busted For Protecting Kid-Diddling Priest
Fox's Favorite Catholic Priest Says Sexual Abuse No Reason To Deprive Duggars Of TV Show
Hero Cop Protects Texas From Black Teenagers At Pool Party
International Olympic Committee: Caitlyn Jenner Can Keep Gold Medal, Trolls Can Suck It
Sundays With The Christianists: Here's A Delightful Children's Book About Hell
Megyn Kelly Plays Softball With The Duggar Sisters: Your Weekly Top Ten
Send Us Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Mentally Ill Kentuckians: Your Florida Roundup
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Give Us All Your Moneys, Psychic Jesus Needs A Butt Injection
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Is All Het Up About The Spanishes
Let's Go Spit All Over Minneapolis, Because It's Legal Now!
Donald Trump Sharts In Rage At Mean Fox News Bully Charles Krauthammer
Don't Accuse Louie Gohmert Of Callin' Obama A Terrorist, 'Twas An Innocent Question
Megyn Kelly Asks Duggar Girls: Show Us On The Doll Where The Liberal Media Touched You
FDA Wants To Help Ladies F*ck Too, With Lady Boner Pills
Angry Screaming Patriot Pretty Sure Army Just Invaded Michigan, Has Video To Prove It
Senate Republicans Love All Veterans Except Gay Kind
Wingnut Nebraska Governor: Fine, Repeal The Death Penalty, I'll Just Murder Folks Myself!
Hero Mitch McConnell Says Senate Not Gonna Bother Doing Its Job Anymore, Take That, Obama
Antonin Scalia Tells Grads: Always Be Yourself, Unless You Are Hitler
Alabama 'Pro-Lifers' Want Abortion Clinic Closed To Protect Kids From Alabama 'Pro-Lifers'
Tyrant Hillary Clinton Will Haul All Americans Off To Voting Camps
This Lady Says Sick Bastard Denny Hastert Molested The Hell Out Of Her Brother In High School
Bill O'Reilly Knows Why Kids These Days Are Stupid And Dumb, And It Is Facebook
President Donald Trump Has Secret Plan To Kill ISIS, But Loser Obama Doesn't Even Care
Good News! EPA Says Drinking Water Mostly Free Of Dirty Fracking Sludge
Porn-stached Wingnut Just Asking: Should We Secede Because Of Gay Homo Marriage?
Minnesota Cordially Invites You To Come Gay It Up With Your Hot Dish Husband
Mama Grizzly Sarah Palin Gives Duggars Tongue Bath Just Like She Does With Her Own Cubs
Marco Rubio Still Running For President, Still Real Dumb
Walmart Workers Get To Wear Jeans Now, Even Better Than Getting Paid
Rick Perry's Campaign Won't Be About 'Lofty Rhetoric,' Not That We Were Worried
Mike Huckabee Removes Nasty Duggar Stains From Campaign Website
The Duggar Interview: Why Won't The Liberal Media Stop Molesting Our Kids?
California City Bans Chemtrails, Mind Control Rays; Everybody Obviously Cool With It
Hey Ted Cruz, Why Don't You Shove Your Joe Biden 'Jokes' Right Up Your Bible Hole?
Brazen Florida Teen Exercises Right To Bare Arms, Loses National Honor Society Gig
Alex Jones: While You Were Staring At Caitlyn Jenner's Funbags, Obama Grabbed Your Guns
Ex-Republican Lincoln Chafee Wants To Be Your Next Democratic President. Wait, Who?
Congratulations, George W. Bush, Half The Country Doesn't Hate You Anymore!
Families Face Jail For Cheering Mississippi High School Grads, Lucky Not To Be Tased
Dear Gays, Please Come Back To Indiana. XOXO, Gov. Mike Pence
Surgeons Are Conservative, Midwives Hate America. It's Science!
Rudy Giuliani Could Be President Of 9/11 If He Wasn't Gay Married To Immigrant Abortions
Wisconsin Abortion Bill Lets Sad Daddies Sue If Their Sacred Sperm Is Wasted
Lady Scientists, Wanna Get Ahead? Smile And Let Men Sneak A Peek Down Your Lab Coat
Duggars Could Have Been Jailed For Ignoring Josh Duggar's Three Sister-Touching Confessions
Dick's Gay Daughter Mary Cheney Tells Gay-Hating GOP To Stop Being Dicks
Fellow Gun-Humper Who Shot At George Zimmerman Just 'Standing His Ground,' What A Surprise
Sorry, Losers, You're Stuck With Elizabeth Warren Kicking Ass In The Senate
Senate Passes Patriot Act Revisions With Less Big Government Snooping; Mitch McConnell Has A Hissy
High School Principal Will Not Have Graduation Sullied With Gay Valedictorian, No Siree!
Two WW I Heroes Finally American Enough To Receive Medals Of Honor They Earned
Rick Santorum: Dumb Pope Francis Needs To Shut His Mouth About Climate Change
Glenn Beck Says Texas Flooded Because Rick Perry Is Just Too Darned Good At Prayin'
Politico: Look At That Stuck-Up Elitist John Kerry With His Fancy Bicycle!
Head Foot-The-Ball Guy Resigns In Huge FIFA Scandal We All Care About Very Much
Mike Huckabee's Secret Trans Fantasy: High School Sex Boobies For Everyone!
Fox's Megyn Kelly Won't Be Too Mean To Duggars About Kid-Diddling Because Bill Clinton. Really.
Arizona Muslim-Hater Needs $10 Million To Save His Family, Mean GoFundMe Won't Let Him Have It
Caitlyn Jenner Making Wingnuts Feel Shame Tingles In Their No-No Parts
Hardened Criminal Dinesh D'Souza Finally Freed From Maximum Security Sleep-Away Camp
Idiot Homeschool Mom Reviews Creation Museum, Likes How It Bibles Up Science
GOP Would Like A Shot With The Blacks Once They're Done Making Love To Barack Obama
Senate Unanimously Votes To Protect Us From Terrorists, With Craft Beer
NBC Affiliate Decides Republican Navy Doctor Too Gay For Delicate Tennessee Viewers
Dumb Virginia County Can't Stop Invoking Jesus, Must Pay $74,000, Ha Ha Ha
Jeb Bush Loves His Brother, Swears He Will Be Nothing Like That Idiot
Idaho School Staff Packing Heat, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
SCOTUS: Guy Threatening Ex On Facebook Probably Not A Real Threat, Just A Dick
Human Dental Dam Rick Santorum To Stop SCOTUS From Doing Gay Stuff To America, Somehow
Supreme Court Spreads Sharia Law All Over Abercrombie & Fitch's Popped Collar
Lindsey Graham Promises To Be Butchest, Scariest President EVER!
Won't Someone PLEASE Think Of Poor Blackmailed Maybe Child Molester Denny Hastert?
One Million Moms Can't Compete With Badass 'Lucifer,' Want Teevee Show Canceled
Arkansas Family Values Rep Who Regifted Children To A Rapist Still Sure He's The Victim
Hero Rand Paul Saves America From NSA Spying, At Least Until Tuesday
Martin O'Malley For President Of Pointing And Laughing At Sarah Palin
If The Duggars Love Hobby Lobby So Much, They Should Gay Marry It. Your Weekly Top Ten.
Beau Biden Dies At 46, Confirming Fundamental Injustice Of Universe Once Again
Deleted Comments Of The Week: There's Sharia Creepin' All Over Wonkette!
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Let's Give Each Other Bleach Enemas, In Our Butts!
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin So Mad Barack Obama Loves ISIS More Than Jesus
Now You Will Send Us Moneys For Your Bernie Sanders 2016 T-Shirt. No, NOW.
Lighthearted Reality Show Sends Czech Family To Nazi Summer Camp
American Dude Will Beat ISIS All By Himself If He Has To, Please Send Money
Josh Duggar Told A Foster Kids' Group How Evil It Is To Abuse Kids. He Would Know.
'Dad' Gay Marries 'Son' In Pennsylvania, But Not In A Gross Kid-Touching Way
Yep, Ex-Speaker Denny Hastert Paid Hush Money To Cover Up Kid-Diddling. ALLEGEDLY.
Homeschooling Hero Wants You To Stop Being Mean To Righteous Kid-Diddler Josh Duggar
Rick Santorum Such A Idiot He Can't Even Deny Science Good
Surprise, Kiddie Porn Cop In Josh Duggar Story Into Some Nasty-Ass Kiddie Porn
Let's Remember That Time Speaker Denny Hastert Covered Up A GOP Sex Scandal!
Free Speech Loving Islamophobes Invade Phoenix Mosque To Draw Mohammed, Guns
Jizz Causes Lady Cancer, And Other Fun Sex Tips From The Duggars
Ex-Speaker Denny Hastert Indicted For Paying Hush Money To Cover Up Something REAL Bad
Hero Patriot Lady Saves Minnesota Neighborhood From Scary Muslim Mom And Dad
Fox & Friends: Hillary Clinton Can't Talk Southern, She Only Lived In Arkansas 18 Years!
Some Chicks Like Granny Panties, And The NYT Is ON IT!
Someone Thought A Rap Song About Ted Cruz Was A Good Idea
Surprise! GOP Plan To 'Fix' Obamacare Will Just Make It Worse
Texas ‘Open Carry’ Loon Ready To Start Executing Lawmakers, Because Freedom Is Why
Alaska Judge In Big Trouble, Just For Saying Rapey Words To Everybody
Ted Cruz Still Wants To Murder Federal Government, But After It Cleans Up Texas
Colorado Public High School Basically A Church, Saving Kids With Jesus Pizza
TLC: What If We Did A Show About The Duggars Who DON'T Diddle Little Girls?
Oops, U.S. Military Accidentally Ships Live Anthrax All Over The Place
Is Hillary Clinton World's Evilest Arms Dealer Ever? Maybe!
Congratulations, Nebraska, Your Governor Isn't Allowed To Kill You Anymore
Former RINO Gov. George Pataki Remembers 9/11, Can He Be President Too?
CIA Drops Climate Research Program Because Polar Bears Make Lousy Spies
Rick Santorum: The Only Presidential Candidate Willing To Fist You With Your Own Moneys
Sit Back And Relax With Some Soothing Elizabeth Warren Getting MAD About A Thing
Kiddie Porn Cop Says Lying Duggars Didn't Mention ALL The Kiddie Sex Crimes
Sister-Molester Josh Duggar Sued Arkansas DHS, Probably For Calling Him A Sister-Molester
Texas Happy To Let Obama Invade With FEMA Now Please
Family Values Republicans Just Fine With Gross Duggar Family Sex-Criming
For The Ladies: What Not To Wear If You Don't Want To Get Diddled By A Duggar
Sure, Rand Paul Is Now A Tree Hugger, Why Not?
Gov. Scott Walker: Ultrasounds Are So Hella Cool They Should Be MANDATORY
Senate Republicans Have Neat New Plan To Make You Pay More For Slut Pills, You're Welcome
Outlaw Biker Gangs Enlisting Army Guys, What's Wrong With That?
Mean Sen. Joni Ernst Takes Castratin' Knife To Former Presidents' Allowance Moneys
Bernie Sanders Will Officially Socialize You, America, From The White House
Look, It's Another Republican Calling Bullsh*t On Dumb Obamacare Lawsuit
Thanks To Pedophile Cop Pal, Sister-Touching Josh Duggar Will Never Be Prosecuted. Thanks Cop Pal!
Jim Bob Duggar: Incesters Like My Oldest Boy Should Be Put To Death
Rightwing Troll 'Journalist' Chuck C. Johnson Banned From Twitter Forever, Again
Guess Who's Mixed Up In Duggar Family Sex Crimes Now? Hobby Lobby, Of Course!
VA Can't Help Disabled Vets Make Babies Because 'Pro-Lifers' Hate The Troops
Excellent News! John McCain Might Get His Butt Kicked, By A Girl
George W. Bush Wanted To Gay Marry Some Ladies, Because He Is A Filthy Liberal Now
Let's Watch The GOP Cage Fight With Itself About Obamacare, Again
Kickstarter For Joe Arpaio To Crush His Enemies Like Cockroaches They Are
Tuesday With The Christianists: Sex Education To Keep You Purer Than Those Slutty Duggar Children
America's Gay-Hating Cake Bakers Would Like To Be Pen Pals With Cake Bigots In Northern Ireland
No Duggars Were Harmed In The Writing Of This Post. Your Weekly Top Ten.
We Are Now, As Ever, At War With Eastasia. Happy Memorial Day From Yr Wonkette.
High School Teacher Canned For Teaching Allen Ginsberg's Filthy Buttsechs Poetry
Step Right Up And Get Your Vaginal Probe: Your Florida Roundup
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Deepak Chopra Has Derp Thoughts About Evolution
How Not To Counsel Your Daughters When They've Been Molested By Josh Duggar
DuPont Chemical Plant Kills 4 Employees, Pays $99,000 Fine. That'll Learn 'Em.
Ireland Throatcrams Itself With Marriage Equality, Shoots Gay Rainbows All Over Dublin
Texas Oil Heir Finds Secret Of Happiness: Murdering Endangered Rhinos
TLC Pulls Gross Duggars Off The Air Because Honey Boo Boo's Mom Wanted Equal Molesting Time
Huckabee: That Duggar Boy Made A Mistake, Just Like When My Son Murdered That Dog
Pervy Virginia Dem Who Won Election From Jail Will Marry Teen Secretary, Rule Galaxy
Mean California Dems Won't Let Fake Abortion Clinics Lie To Ladies And Call Them Whores :(
Josh Duggar Touches GOP Presidential Candidates With Same Hands What Touched His Sisters
Kansas GOP Spends Four Days Failing Extra Hard, Takes Well-Earned Four Day Weekend
Hey, Remember All The Times Those Duggars Warned Us How Evil Gays Threaten Children?
Oregon 'Oath Keepers' Declare Victory Over Federal Jackbooted Thugs, Go Home
Shhhh, Texas, Everything Will Be Fine When Rick Perry Is President
Congrats, Santa Barbara! You Got Oiled By One Of America's Slimiest Pipeline Companies!
Mike Huckabee Will Save Gun Owners From Tyranny Of Learning How To Shoot Guns
Gross Josh Duggar Admits To Molesting His Own Sisters, Resigns From Family Research Council
Shifty Barack Obama Won't Even Admit He Invented ISIS
Boy Scouts President Says Gay Scout Leaders Just Fine, Haters Can Take A Hike
Ben Carson Coulda Killed Bin Laden And Saddam Without Going To War, Just Like JFK Did
Jeb Bush: People Need To Stop Being So Uppity About Climate Science
So You Think You Can Be An Al Qaeda? Show Us What You Got.
BREAKING: Bush And Cheney MAY HAVE Said Some Lies In Lead-Up To Iraq War
Strangely Lucid Rand Paul 'Filibusters' Patriot Act, Will Get Back To Being Insane Tomorrow
Hillary Clinton's Emails Are Sexplosion Of Benghazi Lies, Betrayal And Glamour Shots
Let's Get Waco Biker Gangs To Shoot Up The Muslims, How About That?
GOP Senator Loves Iran, Hates Obama, Wants You To Shut Up About That Now
Congressdolt Louie Gohmert: Iraq War Was A Mistake Because Obama Has Boner For Our Enemies
President Donald Trump Will Build YOOOGE Gold-Plated Fence To Keep Out Messicans
Now Even Court Transcripts Are Lying About How Bill O'Reilly Maybe Beated Up His Wife
Ted Cruz Wishes America Would Focus A Little Less On Buttsex, A Little More On ISIS
Rand Paul Thinks States Should Regulate Your Vag, Except For When He Wants To
Prosecutor Says Latino Wife-Beaters Are Cool, As Long As They Beat Their Own Kind
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Will Starve Your Kids, Because You're Probably A Gross Junkie Anyway
After Waco Shootout, Know What Texas Needs? More Guns EVERYWHERE!
Too Big To Fail Banks Sorry For Scheming To Steal All The Money In The World
Walmart Training Video Will Scare You Away From Evil Mean Unions Forever
Oh, Did Dumb Josh Duggar Do A Sex Crime When He Was 17, Just Like Jesus?
Obamacare-Hating Republican Hates Republicans Now, Loves Obamacare
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal Will Screw The Gays All By Himself, You'll See
President Bernie Sanders Will Force Your Kids To Have Free College
NRA To Louisiana: Lady Beaters Are People Too, Should Have All The Guns
It's Arizona's Turn To F*ck The Poors, Again
Even Crazy Old Pat Robertson Knows Iraq War Was A Mistake, Sorta
Toe-Tapping Sen. Larry Craig Liked His Manwhores Butch (No Femmes, No Asians, No Fats)
Fox Host To Grads: Want To Save The World? Go Work For Big Oil
New Jersey Loves Chris Christie Too Much To Share Him With America
Guess Which Whiny Crybaby Congressjerk Wants A Pay Raise This Time
Bill O'Reilly: My Daughter Is A Dirty Liar, I Never Beated Up Her Mom
Cleveland Cop Who Killed 12-Year-Old Tamir Rice Will Be Investigated Someday. Maybe.
Ma And Pa Duggar Still Trying To Make ALL The Babies, For Jesus
Mean Obama Won't Let Cops Play With All Their Badass Military Toys
Fox & Friends OUTRAGED We Don't Get To Kill Boston Marathon Bomber Yet
Marco Rubio Gets His Chance To Flub Iraq Question, Nails It
Bristol Palin's Wedding CANCELED, Let's Make Up Reasons Why
We Are Shocked To Learn That Bill O'Reilly Beated Up His Wife, Allegedly
Scott Walker Will Be Best President Of America, Because He's Been To Europe Like Twice
Jeb Bush Says More Dumb Stuff, And It's Not Even About Iraq This Time
Failed Congressional Candidate Planned To Kill Some Muslims As Love Offering To Sean Hannity
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Smears Constitution All Over Everyone At Gay Wedding
GOP Full Of Olds Who Will Die Soon, Says Science
Fox News: Obama's Wrong, We Hardly Ever Shame Those Lazy Poor Leeches
Lindsey Graham Running For President, Will Kill You For Your Thoughts If Elected
9 Dead In Waco Biker Fight; Armed Society Not Quite So Polite
Sore Loser Mitt Romney Loses Again, Like A Loser
Ann Romney May Be In A Gang, Hide Your Kids! Your Weekly Top Ten.
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Welcome To The Cesspool Of Filth
Let’s Shoot Up A School Bus On Our Way To The Gun Show: Your Florida Roundup
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Let's Fill Our Veins With Air Bubbles And Try Not To Die
The Submissive Wives Of TLC Would Be More Than Happy To Make You A Sammich
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Knows Democrats Are Causing California's Drought
It Is Time To Ban All The Men From Congress, Obviously
Wonkette Wingnut BFF Bradlee Dean Makes Poem, Proves Gay Marriage Will Cause Holocaust
While We Were Filling Up Our Pickups, China Cut Greenhouse Gas A Whole Bunch
Boston Marathon Bomber Sentenced To Death, Terrorism Over Forever
Well-Known A**holes Judith Miller And James O'Keefe Discuss Why They Are The Worst
Gavin McInnes: Stop Being Miserable, Ladies, And Be Housewives As God Intended
Farewell, B.B. King. We'll Still Live On, But So Lonely We'll Be.
House Republicans Find Billions Of Dollars Under Couch Cushions, Will Spend It On War
Jeb Bush Will Repeal Obamacare, Replace It With Apple Watches (Buy Your Own, Loser)
Speaker John Boehner Does Not Care For Your Stupid Railroad Safety Questions
Activist California Judge Says 'Just Don't F*ck' Does Not Count As Sex Ed
Evil Gov. Rick Scott Would Rather Shut Down Government Than Give Healthcare To Florida Poors
Ted Nugent: Guns Don't Kill THAT Many Kids, But What About Swimming Pools, Huh?
Pro-Lifers Will Not Have California Putting Dead Babies In All The Vaccines
Fox News Affiliate Will Protect You From Picasso's Fancy Sex Nipples
Muslim-Hatin' Rep. Steve King Sure There's No Discrimination Against Muslims
Dear White People: You're Going To LOVE Disney's New White 'African' Princess
Sexting Missouri House Speaker Resigns, For Sexting, KTHXBAI!
NRA: President Hillary Clinton Is Already Murdering Freedom
Why Does Jeb Bush Hate The Troops?
Who Caused That Amtrak Crash? Oh, Just The Gays
There Goes Wacky Psychopath Kim Jong-Un, Shooting All His Friends With Missiles
Jeb Bush Appalled Hillary Clinton Doesn't Answer Questions As Good As He Does
John McCain Accidentally Joins Ukrainian Government, Bye John McCain!
Bill O'Reilly: Leave That Sexist Barack Obama Alooooooone!
Missouri Family Values Republican Sorry For Sexting Co-Ed, Ready To Forget This Ever Happened
Oath-Keepers Founder: Let's Hang John McCain For Being Hitler
Rand Paul: Why Help Iraqi Refugees? We Won, So Suck It, Losers.
Republican Candidates Agree: The Best Living President Is Ronald Reagan's Rotting Corpse
Sovereign Citizen Sends Jews Fake Anthrax Letters, Jews Don't Get Obvious Joke
Family Values Republican Says Marriage Is Only For Straights And Married Dudes Who Sext Interns
Idiot Tennessee Rep Knows All The Christians Are Being Holocausted, Just Can't Say Where
Bill O'Reilly Very Sad Americans Are Divorcing Jesus, Jiving On The Rap Music, And Smoking Crack
Ohio Will Let You Vote For The Low, Low Price Of $8.50!
Fox News Has Thoughts On Obama's 'Leeches' Speech. They Are Bad Thoughts!
Jeb 'The Smart One' Bush Determined To Prove He's Just As Stupid As His Brother
Fine, Sure, Star Wars Is Muslim, Whatever. Live Long And Prosper, Weirdo.
Iowa Farmer Won't Sell Land To Oil Company For One Lousy Whore
Texas Will Make Sure Your Doctor Knows Where You Got Your Filthy Obamacare
Dumb Duggar Girl And Dumb Husband Explain Atheists Don't Exist (Kind Of Like God)
Hurray, Montana Says Cops Can't Steal All Your Sh*t And Sell It For Cash Anymore!
United States Of Texas Not About To Let Supreme Court Gay It All Up
Big Oil: All Your Tax Dollars Are Belong To Us
Louisiana Senator Is Not Cool With Scientists Murdering All The Creationists Dead
Allen West Got Sharia Law All Over Him In The Walmart Checkout Line
Obamacare-Hating Idiot Super-Pissed Obama Won't Pay His Doctor Bills Now That He Needs It
Jeb Bush Answer To 'Would You Have Invaded Iraq?' Almost As Big A Clusterf*ck As Invasion Of Iraq
Butt Ass Nekkid Michigan State Senator Shoots Up Ex-Wife's Car, May Have Issues
Moocher Red States Still Don't Want Free Healthcare Money With Obama's Name On It
Iowa Republican Happy To Give You His Own Pee So He Can Drug Test Poors
Kentucky Nanny State Won't Let 'Off-The-Grid' Family Raise Kids In Garbage
Yes, Insurance Companies Have To Cover Your Vag
Esteemed Teevee Journalist Would Like Ted Cruz To Say A Spanish, For Journalism
Chris Christie Eated All The Snacks
Surprise! Pennsylvania Fracking F*cks The Poors Hardest And Longest
Somebody Shot George Zimmerman, Let's Speculate Why
Wyoming Won't Have You Going Around Taking Pictures Of Their Cow Sh*t Infested E. Coli Rivers
North Carolina Official Not About To Listen To Ay-Rabs Makin' Prayers To Allah Or Whoever
Nice Time! New York Gov To Save Manicurists From Your Spa, We Mean 'Sweatshop'
Breaking: Anonymous Source Says Obama Lied About Bin Laden Raid, Everything In Universe
Mike Huckabee: Hawking Fake Diabetes Cures Proves I'll Be A Great President
Texas GOP Tired Of Getting Arrested For Taking Guns To Airports, Has New Law To Make It OK
Hero GOP Senator Will Save Tax Dollars From Dumb Things Like Chocolate
Deleted Comments Of The Week: The Holocaust Was A Hoax, Martial Law In Texas Is Real
Wisconsin F*cks The Poors While Texas Gets Put In A FEMA Camp. Your Weekly Top Ten!
The Snake Oil Bulletin: The Food Babe Gets Her Revenge! (No, She Doesn't.)
We're Being Invaded By Reptilians! (Not Just Rick Scott!) Your Florida Roundup
In 1979 Sermon Against 'Life Of Brian,' Young Mike Huckabee Was Already One Biggus Dickus
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Will Not Pay Taxes On Soda, Not While ISIS Is Still Around
Alabama Rep. Saves Schoolkids From Learning They Are Disgusting Monkeys
Nice Time: Stephen Colbert Saves South Carolina Schools From Jerks Who Run South Carolina
Florida Gov. Rick Scott: Yes, I Am A Lying Piece Of Sh*t
North Las Vegas Mayor Is Not Familiar With His Kiddie Porn, No Siree
Bill Clinton Sorry He Put Everyone In Jail
House GOP Figures It's Safe To Ban Abortion Now That Everyone's Stopped Paying Attention
Atheist Lady Sued For Calling Fraud Faith Healer A Fraud
Lame California Hippies Don't Want Industrial Waste In One Glass Of Water They Have Left
Justice Department Looking Into Why Baltimore Police Department Is So F*cked Up
Texas Gets Ready For Its FEMA Camps. Bye Texas!
Jeb Bush Unveils Presidential Cabinet, Everyone In It Is George W. Bush
Shocking Million Word Wingnut Exposé Proves Obama's Kenyan 'Grandma' Is A Muslim
Mississippi Teabagger Doctor Will Write Rapey Sex Fiction From The Halls Of Congress
Idiot Texas Rep Calls For Department Of Clinton Investigatin', To Investigate The Clintons
Ben Carson Copied All God's Answers On His College Chemistry Final
Missouri GOP Knows Cities Can't Be Trusted To Make Their Own Minimum Wage Laws
Congressjerk Steve King Warns We Must Brace For Endless Civil War, Thanks SCOTUS
Florida Parents: You Keep A 'B' Average, We'll Keep Giving You Weed And Cocaine. Deal?
Wisconsin's F*ck-The-Poor Food Stamps Bill Will Cost Millions, Totally Worth It
Bryan Fischer Will Root All Queers Out Of Wingnut 'News' Websites
17 Million Newly Insured Americans Point And Laugh At Failed Obamacare
America-Hating Appellate Court Says NSA Can't Read All Your Sexts To Fight Terrorism After All
Law-Breaking DC 'Pro-Lifers' Will Keep Firing Whores, For Jesus
Did Jeb Bush Personally Film Hardcore Porn Flicks As Florida Governor?
Pentagon Workers Using YOUR Tax Dollars For Gamblin' And F*ckin'
Secret Masonic Police Force Doing Secret Sh*t From Hot CA Attorney General's Office, Maybe
Mean Judge Won't Let Felon Dinesh D'Souza Have Summer Vacay From Prison, UNFAIR!
'Pro-Life' Mike Huckabee Sure Liked The Idea Of Killing AIDS Patients In The '90s!
Gun Fun Roundup: Please Don't Shoot Your Pal In Gun Safety Class
Sofia Vergara's Ex, Sherri Shepherd, Fox Doc Keith Ablow Enter Jerk-Off Contest. All Win.
President Ben Carson Sure Is Glad Supreme Court Decisions Don't Apply To Him
Holocaust-Denying Dude Has GREAT Idea: 'Nuremberg Trials' For Climate Scientists!
How Are White Wingnuts Fixing The Blacks Of Baltimore This Week?
Sen. Tom Cotton Turding Up Fellow Republicans' Iran Punchbowl
Muslim Congressman Keith Ellison Obviously Behind Shooting In Texas Because Muslim
Phyllis Schlafly's Niece Pines For Olden Days When A Man Could Get A Little Ass From His Wife
Senate Republicans Pass Meaningless 'Budget' Just To Prove They're Dicks
House GOP Hearing On Science Uncontaminated By Any Scientists
Walmart To Texas Wingnuts: We're Not Building Secret Tunnels So China Can Come Kill You
Marvel CEO Thinks Girl Superheroes Can Eat It
'Clinton Cash' Author Worries Clinton Mafia Will Murder Him, Like How They Always Do
Totally Normal Nebraska Lady Would Like To See ALL GAYS In Court Right Now!
Wisconsin Takes Lead In F*ck The Poors Sweepstakes: Now You Can't Buy Beans And Rice
Texas School District So Good At Teaching Teens Not To F*ck, Only 1 In 15 Have Chlamydia
Let's All Have Sex On The Beach, And Then Go To Prison Forever!
Nice Christian Makes Video Game To 'Kill The Faggot,' Like Jesus Would
Oh Good, Gov. Bobby Jindal 'Wrote' A History 'Book'
Mike Huckabee Will Be President Of Making All The Ladies Stop Saying Gay Cusses!
Pentagon Says There's No Plot To Invade Texas. But It Would, Wouldn't It?
Wall Street Billionaires Not Making As Many Billions This Year, Sad
Surprise, Military Even More Rapey Than We Thought
Fox News: BREAKING! Black Man Shot By Police! Oh Wait, Never Mind
Fired Baltimore City Employee Just Liked To Watch Porn All Day At Work, Is That Wrong?
Dudes Kiss On The Mouth On LA Dodgers Kiss Cam, And Nobody Even Gay-Bashes Them!
Hero Waitress Tells Kansas Gov. Brownback Exactly Where To Shove His Tip (Into Schools, Duh)
God Hates Duck Dynasty Musical, Smites It Like Sodomite
Republicans Slash Money For NASA Because NASA Might Use It For Science
Rick Santorum Sorry For Saying Nice Thing About Bruce Jenner, Swears He Didn't Mean It
Mean GoFundMe Refuses To Raise Cash For Allegedly Murderous Baltimore Cops
First And Second Amendments In Battle To Death As A**holes Shoot Up Texan Anti-Islam Event
Paul Ryan Knows Real Problem With Welfare Is How Rich Those Poor People Get Off It
Ben Carson Prematurely Ejaculates Presidential Announcement
Epic Fail Carly Fiorina Officially Announces She's Just Like Hillary Clinton Only Better
Surprise! Satanic Temple Has Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs About Abortion Too
John Boehner Wants To Know Why Hillary Clinton Isn't Helping Congress Get Stuff Done
You All Sure Do Love Pat Robertson's Gay Blowjob Advice! Your Weekly Top Ten.
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Poverty Is A Myth Because Poors Are Fat And Lazy
The Snake Oil Bulletin: No, Your Cat Is Not Vegan. You Are An Idiot Who Is Killing Your Cat.
Florida Is Completely F*cked, The Legislative Edition! Your Florida Roundup.
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Says No Racists On $20 Bill, Let's Stick With Andrew Jackson
Wingnut Tony Perkins: If Supreme Court Gay Marriages Us, We Might All Die
CIA Learned Hottest Torture Tricks From American Psychological Association
Republican Congress Does Not Care For All These Anchor Babies, Picks HOLY F*CK RACIST To Testify
Alan Keyes' Army Of One Will Declare WAR On Gay-Marrying Supreme Court, Time To Panic!
'Bridgegate' Still A Thing, Chris Christie To Still Never Be President
RINO Jeb Bush Thinks Poverty Might Be Part Of Baltimore's Problem, As If
Sen. Tom Cotton Picks Twitter Fight With Iranian Foreign Minister, Gets BURNT!
Hero GOP Throws Tantrum, Votes To Stop Washington DC From Murdering Babies And Freedom
Colorado Heating And Air Company Isn't Racist, Just Doesn't Like Serving Blacks, That's All
Maryland State Attorney: Sure Looks Like Baltimore PD Probably Murdered Freddie Gray
DC's Capitol Police Leaving Their Loaded Guns All Over Town, Oops
Ted Cruz Too Smart For Real Senate Rules, Prefers The Ones He Made Up
Ben Carson: The Only Way To Stop A Bad ISIS With A Gun Is A Good ISIS With A Gun
Texas Lady So Mad Airbnb Gave Her Bed, Breakfast And Bigotry The Boot
What If We Cut Off Food Stamps And Starve The Poors In Baltimore? That Might Work!
Oh Great, Now Obama Wants Poor Kids To Read Books, Will This White House Ever Stop?
Teen Pregnancy Prevention Works Great In Colorado, So Of Course Republicans Try To Kill It
Lady Scientists' Study Would Have Been Better If A Boy Wrote It, According To Science
NRA: Know What Baltimore Needs? More Guns, So Everybody Can Stand Their Ground!
If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say About Republicans, Come Sit Next To Barney Frank!
National Review: But What About The Clintons' Underage Sex Slaves And Russian Blackmail?
Did Carly Fiorina Run Hewlett-Packard Into The Ground, Or Did SEXISM Do It?
Pop Quiz! The Troops Vs. Scummy Payday Loan Lenders. Who Do You Think Republicans Support?
Barack Obama Literally Slaughtered Terrible For-Profit Scam Corinthian 'Colleges.' Oh. How Terrible.
Baltimore PD: Maybe Freddie Gray Broke His Own Spine. Yeah, That’s The Ticket
WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE: Let's Eat Bon-Bons And Braid Hair With The Tennessee Gay Marriage Plaintiffs!
Watch This Dumb Duggar Say A Bunch Of Stupid Sh*t About Gay Marriage
Donald Trump Demonstrates Presidential Restraint By Not Screaming At Crying Baby
Sorry Wingnuts, You Will Have To Find A Different Lie About Freddie Gray's Severed Spine
Sorry, Kansas, But Gov. Brownback Has To Spend All Your Money Stopping Bortions
Hero Gov. Greg Abbott Will Stop Obama From Doing Martial Law And ISIS To Poor Texans
Attention Lawyers: No One Should Stay In A Motel 6. Especially Your Clients.
Dumb Guy Has Best SCOTUS Argument Against Gay Marriage: Buttsex And Abortion Are Not Crimes!
Florida Frat Shut Down, Just For Whizzing On Flags And Cussing Disabled Veterans
Heroic Texas Ag Commissioner Will Save Children From Spending A Few Hours Without Fried Food
Bernie Sanders Will Be President Of Forcing Hillary To Act Like An Actual Liberal
Jeb Bush Knows All About Being An Immigrant, Except The Being An Immigrant Part
Supreme Court Rams Gay-Marriage Nonsense Down Your Earholes. A Wonkette Transcriber!
Jesus Saves Oklahoma Rep From Murdering Himself With Fire For The Unborn Babies
Dr. Ben Carson Wants You All To Be Civil About The Baltimore Police Nearly Severing A Man's Spine
People Seem To Think Bud Light Slogan Is Rapey, Just Because It's Really Rapey
Anti-Gay North Dakota State Rep Caught Sending Dick Pics On The Grindr, Surprise LOL
Rand Paul Knows Baltimore Thugs Just Need Good Dads, Like His Drunk, Criming, Jerk Son Has
Sen. Chuck Grassley: No Need To Fix Voting Rights Act, Blacks Already Vote Enough!
Michele Bachmann Has Beef With Barack Obama. Probably Kosher Beef.
Wingnuts' Last-Ditch Effort To Make Justices Stay Home On Gay Marriage Day Shockingly Unsuccessful
Baltimore's All F*cked Up Because There Aren't Enough Dads Or Jesus
Michigan Cops Want In On That Whole 'Beating Unarmed Black Guy' Civil Unrest
Family Values Guy Says Gays Can't Get Married Because His Daughter's Period Grossed Him Out
Pat Robertson: It's Cool If Your Husband Gets Drunk And Blows That Guy Just The One Time
Now Rand Paul Wants Congress To Find Dirt On Hillary Clinton For Him
Creflo Dollar Knows Real Reason He Didn't Get His Private Jet. Spoiler Alert: It's Demons.
George W. Bush Emerges From Spider Hole To Trash-Talk Obama's Middle East Strategy. Really.
Loretta Lynch Is Finally Your New Attorney General, IMPEACH!
Gay-Hating Oregon Cake Bakers: Satan Cancelled Our GoFundMe! (No, Not Kidding)
Surprise, Baltimore Police Are Pretty Much Constantly Beating And Paralyzing People
Rich Gay Republicans Very Sorry For Not Knowing Ted Cruz Is An A-Hole
Heroic Maine Governor Paul LePage Stops Poors From Bogarting The Baloney Slices
Brave New Tractor: John Deere And General Motors Pretty Sure They Own All Your Stuff
Corrupt Missouri Town Locks Out New Black Lady Mayor. No, A Different Corrupt Missouri Town
President Barry H. Bamz Obama: 'F*ck It'
Deleted Comments: This One's About Vaccines And Vaginas!
It's Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let's Sit Next To Each Other And Talk Sh*t About People
Racism Is Just As Imaginary As Climate Change! Your Florida Roundup
The Snake Oil Bulletin: It Sure Is Tough To Know Whether Or Not You've Had Brain Cancer
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin So Mad Obama Won't Stop Murdering The African Christians
Wingnut Columnist: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is A Bad Scientist, Could Someone Please Kill Him?
Gay Boy Gets To Go To Prom With Hella Cute Straight Boy Of His Dreams!
Dog The Bounty Hunter Not Crazy Enough For Fox News, Sadface!
Chemtrail Loons Yell At Arizona Congressman For Not Being Total Dipsh*t
New York Times Very Concerned Jeb Bush Isn't A Gross Enough Fatty To Be President
Koch Brothers Explain Bible To Pope. Thanks, Koch Brothers!
Minnesota Republicans Solve Pressing Problem Of Waitresses Making Too Much Money
You Won't Believe How Kansas Is Paying For Rich People's Tax Cuts (Unless You're Not Dumb)
Montana Lawyers Honor Judge Who Said Slutty Teen Rape Victim Was Asking For It, Just Because
Disgraced Colorado Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt Will Hunt Demons In State Senate
Of Course Joe Arpaio Sent A Private Dick After A Federal Judge's Wife. He's Sheriff Joe!
Maine Republicans Want To Cure Infertility, Unless You Had A Disease In Your Filthy Vagina
Ted Cruz Doesn't Like Gays, Does Like Their Money
Sorry Nutbags, Even AZ's Hard-Right Gov Thinks Keeping Foster Kids From Gay Homes Is Dick Move
GOP Will Release Benghazi Report In 2016 To Help Hillary Clinton, Obviously
North Carolina Will Make You Wait For That Abortion Until You Realize You Don't Want It
Loretta Lynch Confirmed; Eric Holder Can Finally Take This Job And Shove It
Rep. Steve King Shows Gay Supreme Court Who Is The Very Straight Boss Of Them
Sovereign Citizen Lady Is Citizen ... OF OUR HEARTS!
Senate Republicans Introduce Bill To Protect Obamacare From Senate Republicans
Rand Paul's Jerk Son Just Can't Stop Getting Arrested For Drunken Hijinks!
No, Vaccines Are Not 'Raping' Your Children, Says Science
Bobby Jindal Is Being Bullied By The Gaywads, And He's Not Gonna Take It Anymore!
Carly Fiorina Will Win White House With Her Record Of Success. Also, Her Vagina
Senate Cafeteria Cook Is On Food Stamps, Must Be One Of Those Moochers GOP Always Talks About
Wingnut Rep. Cussin' Folks Out For Mocking Her Bill To Kick Feds Out Of Nevada
Senate Republicans Have Had It With These College Kids And Their Luxurious Student Loans
Taco Bell To Congress: Here's 6,000 Free Tacos, Now Help Us Screw Our Workers
Fox News 'Democrat' Kirsten Powers: I Can’t Believe Obama Drowned Those Christians!
Obama Celebrates Earth Day By Trolling Dumb Florida Republicans
Cool, Kansas Is Ripping Kids Away From Medical Marijuana Advocates Now
Rand Paul: Sexist Women Won't Stop Sexisming Me!
Ted Cruz's College Years: Portrait Of A Young A**hole
Tennessee Lady Rep Not Buying Your 'Rape And Incest' Story, Harlot
Gov. Paul LePage Will Protect Maine From Threat Of Decent Wages
The NRA Has Some Lessons For SarahPAC On How To Cheat At Campaign Finance
Rick Perry Might Go To A Gay Wedding, But Would He F*ck A Groomsman?
Serial Rapist Says Gays Are THE WORST
BREAKING: Senate Republicans Very Proud Of Themselves For Doing A Thing
Wingnut Dennis Prager: Nature-Worshiping Pagans Stole California's Water, Gave It To Fish
Tulsa Pretend Cop Enters Plea, Takes Bahamas Vacation Like Any Other Manslaughter Suspect
Clever Gay-Hating Bigot Children Hang Nooses, Offer To Lynch Gay Kids. For Jesus.
Michele Bachmann Super Excited We're All Gonna Die And Go To Jesus Heaven Real Soon, Hooray!
Men's Rights Dude Tells Fox & Friends Why Marriage Is A Scam To Take His Man-Money
Americans Starting To Like Obamacare Forcing Them To Have Cheaper, Better Insurance
Bill O'Reilly Knows Who Has It Rough In This Country, And It Is The Rich
Wisconsin Rep. Will Card Poors For Food At Their Separate And Unequal Welfare Groceries
GOP Will Confirm Loretta Lynch For A.G. Just As Soon We Outlaw Abortion Some More
How Is Obamacare Turning Us Into Nazi North Korea Today?
Allen West Can Keep Football Players From Getting Hurt, Just By Saying A Little Prayer!
Mike Huckabee Says You Can Serve Your Country Again Once He's President
Good Christians To Smoke All The Homosexuals Out Of 2016 Candidates' Hidey-Holes
Jeb Bush Gonna Death-Panel Americans To Death, With Death Panels!
Rand Paul Will Tell Us The Bad Thing Hillary Clinton Did, Just As Soon As You Find It For Him
FBI So Sorry Its Agents Lied About That Gross Hair Evidence For All Those Years
Poor Chris Christie Is Not A Rich Man. He's Barely A Five-Millionaire!
Heritage Foundation: Gay Marriage Will Make All The Gross Spinsters Kill Their Babies. It's Math!
Judith Miller Knows Who To Blame For Her Crap Iraq War Reporting (Hint: Not Judith Miller)
Tennessee Swingers Club Cites Religious Freedom To Bone
'Bible Man' Banned From Tenn. Grade Schools. Townfolk Turn Other Cheek, Just Kidding
Marco Rubio Is Not A Scientist, Is A Idiot
President Obama Is Maybe Cool With You Tokin' Up, For Your 'Health'
Deleted Comments Of The Week: You Sheepy Sheeple Are Such Sheep!
It's Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let's Drink Mimosas And Judge People
Gyrocopters, Demons, And Squirrelly Motherf*ckers! Your Florida Roundup
The Snake Oil Bulletin Sifts Through The Pseudoscientific Dingleberries Of Dr. Mehmet Oz
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Will Murder The ATF And Its Jackbooted Thugs
Ted Cruz Loves 'The Simpsons.' It's Not Mutual.
Star Wars, F*ck Yeah! F*CK YEAH!!!
Who's Winning The 'F*ck The Poors' Trophy This Week? It is Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback!
Republicans: Oh, You Lost Your Obamacare, Well Boo Hoo Hoo
Vermont Heroes Taking Your Booze Hostage For Legal Weed
Country Stars Tim McGraw, Billy Currington In False-Flag Gun-Grabbing Sandy Hook Slapfight!
Michelle Malkin Outraged: Twitter Jailing Conservatives Like They Are Japanese-Americans
'Oath Keepers' Will Help You Do Armed Standoff With Feds, Whether You Want It Or Not
Florida Turns Down Obamacare Money, Now Suing For More Obamacare Money
Did You Misplace Your Dildo During The 18th Century? If So, Good News!
House Science Committee Solves Climate Change By Just Not Studying It
Deli Owner: No One Liked My White History Month Celebration, Please Send Bigot Bucks Now!
Hillary Clinton Beats Up Crippled Children, Takes Their Candy And Parking Space
Shut Up Paul Anka, Ben Shapiro's Dad Has Written Greatest Pro-Life Anthem OF ALL TIME!
Eighth-Grader's Class Picture Photoshopped Because It Had F-Word On It ('Feminist')
Florida Appointee Utters 'Climate Change' Three Times In Succession, Summons Devil Himself
Donald Trump Is The Family Values Candidate All His Ex-Wives Have Been Waiting For
House Republicans Protect Your Spoiled Kid's Right To Be A Trust Fund Baby
Michigan Mechanic Won't Serve The Queers, Time To Crank Up The Old GoFundMe
Joe Arpaio, Pam Anderson, And PETA Walk Into A Prison Cafeteria...
Christian Texas Lady Thinks Religious Freedom Protects Her Right To Feed The Homeless, AS IF
Congratulations, God, The Tennessee House Just Loves Your Book! (Exciting Update!)
North Carolina Won't Let You Hunt On Sundays, Thanks Obama
Tulsa Sheriff's Office Faked Certification For Cosplaying Cop Who Accidentally Killed A Man, Oops
Republicans Actually Say Out Loud They Are Not Loyal To America, To Pollsters, With Their Mouths
Florida Man Tries To Air-Drop Message To Congress, It Does Not Go Well
Even This Cuddly Teabagger Dude Might Vote For Hillary, So He Can Keep His Beloved Obamacare
Ted Cruz's Dry-Drunk Daddy Will Save The Jews From Obama, For Jesus
Sure, Idaho, Child Support Bill Will Lead To Sharia Law. What? No, You're Not Crazy At All
Do Not Gaze Upon The Minnesota State Senate Like Common Eyeball-Havers, During Debate!
Harry Reid Talking So Much Sh*t About Everybody Now, Does Not Give A Flying F*ck
Jesus, Internet, What's The Matter, Did Gwyneth Paltrow Bone Your Dad?
Republican Ladies Have Own Equal Pay Bill, Aren't They Just The Cutest Things?
TSA Fired That Dude Who Fondled Your Hot Peen At The Denver Airport
It Takes 7 Kids With Whooping Cough To Change 1 Anti-Vaxxer Mom's Mind
People Are Finally Going To Jail For Iraq War Crimes. No, Really!
Surprise! Marco Rubio's Church Is Full Of Demon-Wrasslers, Gay-Haters And Creationist Derp
How Old Is The Earth? Golly Gee, Republicans Running For President *Just Don't Know*!
Did This Bunny Rabbit Just F*ck Himself To Death?!
Family Values Guy Says Hillary Clinton Is Too Ugly To Be President, Guess That's That
Jeb Bush Super Proud Of That Time He Tortured Terri Schiavo, For 'Life'
Bristol Palin Living In Sin For Third Or Eighteenth Time, For Abstinence
Fox News: Hungover Hillary Ate At Chipotle To Woo The Spanishes, Newsflash!
Credit Card CEO Doesn't Want Employees To Starve, Will Be Kicked Out Of Capitalism Now
President Obama Declares War On Men
Elementary School Nurse Will Determine If Students Are Patriotic Enough For Her Services
Bill O'Reilly: Hillary Clinton To Murder All The Poor White Christian Men, Goodbye America
It's Come To This: Republican Wins JFK 'Courage' Prize For Believing Science
Walmart Withholds Medicine From Lady Who Miscarried, Because She's Probably A Sinner
Study: Women Less Likely To Travel Back In Time To Kill Hitler, So Don't Put Them In Charge Of That
Marco Rubio WINS THE INTERNET With Announcement For ... No He Doesn't
Maryland Finds 'Free Range' Children At Park, Throws Them In Baby Jail
Carly Fiorina Thinks Hillary Clinton Is A Lightweight, Unlike Carly Fiorina
Indiana Hires Fancy PR Firm To Help It Rebrand As NOT The God-Hates-Fags State
Michele Bachmann: God Is Punishing Us For Obama, Just Like It Says In The Bible
Hillary Clinton Invited To Real Live Gay Wedding, Will There Be Pizza?
Obamacare Reign Of Terror Continues: More Americans Insured Than Ever Before
Which Incompetent Dopes Are We Handing Guns And Badges To This Week?
Marco Rubio Really Really REALLY Wants You To Know He Will Lose For President Too
NRA Convention Is Jizz-Soaked Festival Of Guns, Fear, Hillary-Hate, More Jizz
Never Wrong Bill Kristol Has Just The Right GOP Dick To Beat Hillary Clinton
Donald Trump: How Can We Win If Obama Keeps Saying 'ISIL'?
Sandy Hook 'Truther' Arrested Just For Harassing Sandy Hook School Staff. How Is That Even Fair?
Hillary Clinton Ruins Everyone's Sunday, Will Never Be President Now
It's Sunday Funday, Let's All Have Brunch And Gossip About The Week's Top Stories!
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Rand Paul Is A Genius, You Morons!
Who Forgot To Close The F*cking Sunroof?: Your Florida Roundup
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Says Obama Is World's Weakest, Most Powerful Despot
Obama Shoots Giant Rainbow Out Of His Hand, Instantly Turns All Jamaicans Gay
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Cure Your Kids' Autism By Shooting Bleach Up Their Butts!
Oh Yay Buddhist Yoga Dudes Can Be Rapey Mens Rights Activists Too!
Maybe Rand Paul Didn't F*ck Up Guardian Interview, Is Still A Dick Anyway
Party Pooper Eric Holder Reminds DOJ Staff They Cannot Have Sexy Funtimes With Hookers, Unfair!
Old Handsome Joe Biden, Binky Thief
County Wants Aaron Schock To Pay For Special Election To Put New Buttcheeks In His Old Seat
Alan Keyes, Not Crazy: Obama Colluding With Iran To Bomb U.S. Like Hitler, Probably (Not)
Let's All Watch Convicted Felon Dinesh D'Souza Whine About His Martyrdom While Strolling The Beach
Hi, Let's Talk About My Hemorrhoids! By Me, Rebecca Schoenkopf!
South Carolina Waves Constitution Around To Prove Gays Can't Get Married And Ladies Are Chattel
Cops Slam Black Driver's Head Against Car, Demand He Stop Hitting Himself
Some Chick Running For President Even Though She Has A Vagina And Everything, LOLOLOLOL
You Won’t Be Laughing When God Makes Koran-Burning Preacherman President, Muslims!
Another Day, Another Secret Service A**hole Gets Caught Being An A**hole
Americans Cool With The Gay Marriage, Don't Care About Your Dumb Religious Freedom
If Rand Paul F*cks Up One More Day This Week, He Wins A New Car!
It's Appomattox Day. The South Lost. Deal With It.
Now Arkansas Says You Can Reverse Your Abortion With This One Weird Trick
Frothy Rick Santorum Thinking About Lubing Up For 2016 Republican Primaries!
Happy Bundyversary, America! Come On Down To Bundyland For BundyPalooza 2015!
Gross Tennessee Legislator Tells State Senate About That Time He Got Spayed
Anti-Vaxxers Furious California Might Take Away Their Precious Measles
Catholic High School Teachers In Gay Trouble
Rand Paul: I Don't Hate Women, I'm An Equal Opportunity Dick
Wingnuts Just Asking: Is Hillary Clinton A Violent Spouse Abuser? And A Lizard Person?
Trans People To Rampage Through White House 'Gender Neutral' Potty. Hide Your Kids!
All The Cool States Banning Employees From Mentioning 'Climate Change' Now
Pizza Bigots Sharing Dough With Florist Bigot, Like Good Gay-Hating Jesus Would Do
NFL Hires A Girl, Ruins Football
Yup, Rand Paul F*cked Up His Second Day Running For President Too
Obama Stomps All Over Jesus At Easter Prayer Breakfast, Wingnuts Outraged
Arkansas Governor Signs Bill Ensuring Slimy Rep. Justin Harris Will Never Regift Another Child
Mean Girl Lindsey Graham: Even Hillary Clinton Could Fix Iran Better Than Stupid Rand Paul
Kansas Invents New Name For Abortion Procedure, Then Bans It Because It Sounds Icky
Rand Paul Teaches Lady Reporter How To Talk To Him, Again
Russia's In Ur White House Computers, Snoopin All Ur Sextings
No Guns Allowed At NRA Convention, Now Everyone Will Get Mugged :(
Sen. Tom Cotton Would Like Some Iran War, Like Bill Clinton Did
Florida Pastor Has A Penis, Like Adam, Moses, Jesus, And All Real Leaders
Pigs Fly, Hell Freezes Over, Cop Charged In Murder Of Black Man
Rand Paul Will Be Tough On Iran Like Reagan Was. Um.
Rand Paul's Terrible Horrible Totally F*cked Up Day
John McCain Has An Announcement To Make Too, Pick Him, Pick Him!
Bobby Jindal Is BFFs With Some Duck Dynasty Guy, Let's All Vote For Him Now
Super Rad Louisiana Lesbian Will Dance At Her Prom In A Tuxedo After All!
Let's All Poke Through Rand Paul's Online Garage Sale And Then Not Buy Anything
How Much Money Will God And Liberals Send To Maine Family Planning Group?
Let's Watch Rand Paul Pretend He's Going To Be President. Live!
'Family Values' Lunatic Todd Kincannon Arrested Just For Showing Wife Who's Boss
Obama Teaches Republicans Lesson On Presidenting For Dummies
Whether In Blackface Or Not, Mindy Kaling's Brother Is Consistently A D*ck
ALEC: Global Warming Is Real, And We Think It's FABULOUS
Happy Rand Paul Is Running For President Day, Everyone!
Gov. Rick Scott Changes Mind Again, Murders Medicaid For Florida After All
Hidden Gun In Church Adds Excitement, Flesh Wound, To Easter Vigil Service
Colorado Bakeries Don't Have To Make 'Death To Fags' Cakes, How Is That Even Fair
Ted Cruz Will Repeal Supreme Court, Replace It With His Dad
Top Staffer For Republican Senator Resigns In Ginormous Sexxytimes Scandal!
Jeb Bush One-Ups Marco Rubio By Becoming Hispanic Voter
'Patriots' Take Credit For Perfectly Routine Removal Of Chinese Flag, Save America From Communism!
Revenge Porn Extortionist Sentenced To 18 Naughty, Barely Legal Years in Jail
Rolling Stone Sorry That Lying Bitch 'Jackie' Made Them Do Such Terrible Journalism
Kansas Will Make Sure Welfare Queens Can't Get Their Palms Read On Caribbean Cruises
Louisiana Principal Determined To Ruin Prom For Bad-A** Tux-Wearing Lesbian Honors Student
Hero Tennessee Legislator Explains How Guns Are Like Bicycles, Only Safer
Confused Republican Senator Continues To Insist He's President of America
It's Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let's Reminisce About The Week That Was!
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Stop Cramming Gay Pizza Down Our Throats!
Let's Jizz All Over The Walmart: Your Florida Roundup
The Snake Oil Bulletin: You Know Who Needs Religious Freedom? Anti-Vaxxers, That's Who!
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin To Save All The Anchor Babies From Mean Obama, Wait What?
Here Are The Racist Emails That Landed Sh*tty Ferguson Officials In The Unemployment Line
Yes, Ted Cruz Is Running For President Of The United States Of Jesus
Why Does Neil deGrasse Tyson Hate The Flag And America?
Peggy Noonan Goes For A Walk, Stumbles, Hits Head, Writes Column Anyway
In Maine, A Chafed A**Hole Gets Vaseline
Republican Senators: Can You Explain Climate Change To Us, EPA, So We Can Not Believe You Some More?
Thanks A Lot, Liberals, For LITERALLY HOLOCAUSTING That Dumb Bigot Pizza Place Family
Sorry, Idaho, You Are Getting Jihaded By Radical Muslims Now :(
Gun-Humpers Using Sexy App To Track Gun Control Advocates, What Could Go Wrong?
Obama Doubles Down On Dumb Plan To Create Jobs For Vets, Save Planet
Wonkette Fires Gay For Freedom, Make Us GoFundMe Now
Arkansas And Indiana Suck Up To Big Gay With 'Fixed' Religious Freedom Bills
Wingnuts Thrilled With Iran Nuclear Deal, Have Nothing But Kind Words For Obama
Harry Reid Invited To Celebrate Retirement With Hookers, Will Have To Bring His Own Blow
Inspiring! These Pandas F*cked Each Other For Almost Eight Whole Minutes!
Ted Nugent Unravels Veteran Suicide Epidemic: Obama Did It
Get To Baby-Making, Duggars! Muslims To Outnumber You In Only 55 Years!
Sen. Tom Cotton Says Gays Should Be Glad They're Not Hung
Tennessee Wants Only Real Guns Near Schools; Toy Ones Could Put An Eye Out
Iran Violates U.S. Constitution, Makes Deal On Nukes With Tyrant Obama
Obamacare Adds 50,000 More Mouths To Feed, By Not Letting People Die. Oh Great.
Nevada Wingnut Michele Fiore Will End Sex Trafficking By Cutting Off Pimps' Giggleberries
TSA Thinks You Might Be A Terrorist If You Smell Bad
Rick Santorum: Nobody Gets Me Like ISIS Gets Me
NJ Sen. Robert Menendez Indicted; Sorry, Daily Caller, No Fake Underaged Hookers This Time
CA Lawyer Who Wants To Kill All Gays Gets Poor Review From Ex-Boss (And Everyone Else)
Jerkoff Tenn. Senator Calls Citizen A Cuss Just For Pointing Out He's A Jerkoff And Hypocrite
Jerry Brown Won't Let California Water Its Lawn, Just Because There's No More Water
Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers Declares Victory Over Obamacare Fans, Goes Home
Texas Republicans Will Cure AIDS Through Magic Jesus Sexytime School
Indiana Pizzeria Will Do Anything For Love, But It Won't Do That
CO Rep. Klingenschmitt Booted By Fellow Republicans For Being A Jerk
Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson Won't Sign Anti-Gay Bill As Is, Reports Walmart
Nebraska Guy To Regulators: Here, Have A Cold Glass Of Delicious Fracking Juice!
Mean Federal Judge Won't Let James O'Keefe Sue For Libel Just Because He Wasn't Libeled, Unfair!
Supreme Court Tired Of White Kids Whining About Their Precious American Flag
Alabama Doctor-Senator Was Just Kidding When He Filed Revenge Bill Against Dead Patient
Is Indiana Gov. Mike Pence The Michael Jordan Of Hating Gays?
Oh Hey, The White House To Do Something On Climate Change! Tyranny, Etc., Impeach!
What Really Happened To Harry Reid? The Wingnut Theories Might Not Surprise You!
Kentucky Says Gay Marriage Ban Is Fair And Equal Because Straights Can't Do Gay Marriage Either
Wonkette Buys Human Again, A Queer Gay Homosexual One For A Change
Alabama Senator-Doctor Will Finally Get Revenge On New Mom Who Died Under His 'Care'
Private Prison Company Forced Inmates To Eat Delicious Garbage Buffet
Everyone Is Laughing At That Poor Dumb Idiot, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence
My God, My God, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Bill O'Reilly's Dumb Jesus Movie?
New Hampshire Rep. Just Asking: Does Medicaid Expansion Make You Shoot Heroin?
Crazy CA Rep. Barbara Lee: Global Warming Will Turn Womenfolk Into Common Whores
Ben Carson: Gay-Hating Bills Are Only Necessary Because Liberals Are So Mean To Jesus
Religious-Freedom-Curious States Maybe Rethinking That Now, Whoops
Here's Neil DeGrasse Tyson On Space Aliens To Make Your Monday All Better (Video)
James O'Keefe Totally Pwns Catholic College For Loving ISIS And Terrorism. Obviously.
Pregnant Stabbing Victim Invites CO Rep. Klingenschmitt To Shove Donation Up His Jesus Hole
Tammy Duckworth Will Kick GOP Ass With Her Robot Feet All The Way To U.S. Senate
Indiana Religious Freedom At Work: Weed Dude Forms 'First Church Of Cannabis,' Man
Billionaire GOP Sugar Daddy Foster Friess: Stop Making Daily Caller Look Bad, By Quoting Them!
Obama Trolling Donald Trump Again, Will Visit Kenya, Or Home Sweet Home
Indiana Gov. Mike Pence: I Proudly Signed Some Anti-Gay Sh*t I Don't Understand
Ted Cruz Explains Why No One Likes Him
Rightwing Sociopath Todd Kincannon Didn't Domestic Abuse His Wife; He Was Just On Drugs
Senate Can't Find Time To Get Anything Done, Goes On Spring Break For Two Weeks
President Scott Walker Will Overwhelm ISIS With Sheer Weight Of His Flip Flops
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Oh Yeah Wonket? Well YOU'RE An Abortion!
We Took A Week Off, Is Florida Still Dumb? (Yes): Your Florida Roundup
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Furious At Tyrant Obama For Letting ISIS Win All Wars
Wingnut Alex Jones And Troll Army Declare WAR On Toymaker For Selling Hillary Clinton Dolls
Snake Oil Bulletin: Health Guru 'Cures' Cancer With Diet And Detox (And Not Having Cancer)
Willie Nelson Will Fulfill Lifelong Dream Of Smoking Out Entire US Of A, For Fun And Profit
Elizabeth Warren To Wall Street: Drop Dead
God Gives Lady Gift Of Prophecy To Save The World, Predict How Movies End
Corporations And Celebrities Agree: Anti-Gay Indiana Can Get Bent
Peggy Noonan Impressed By Ted Cruz, Or Weakened By A Hangover, Hard To Tell
Internet's Stupidest Man Chuck C. Johnson: Disgraced Torturer Allen West Also A Big Horndog
Wall Street Banks Beg Elizabeth Warren To Stop Bullying Them, Or Else
Monsanto Fanboy: Weed Killer Safe Enough To Drink. F*ck No, I Won't Drink It. (Updated)
Mean Democrats: If Tom Cotton Wants To Sext With Iran, He Has To Pay For It Himself
Arizona Wingnut Senator: We Can’t Make You People Go To Church, So Have Some Guns Instead
Harry Reid Retiring To Let Someone Else Lead Senate Democrats To Defeat For A Change
Congressmuffin Aaron Schock: I, Like Abe Lincoln, Am No Longer In Congress
Louie Gohmert Teases 2016 Run Then Quickly Pulls Out, Leaving Us Lonely And Unsatisfied
George Will: Income Inequality Is Good So Poors Should Shut Up
The Way Jeb Bush Is F*cking Up, You'd Think He Was Already Running For President
Homosexual Spotted At Michigan Newspaper, May Be Armed With Agenda, Caution Advised!
Ted Cruz Tossing A Fine Word Salad On Whether He'll Enroll In Obamacare, Who Can Know? Not Him!
Here Is John Boehner, Too Drunk To F*ck (Video)
DEA Gets Its Very Own Colombian Hookers-N-Blow Scandal
Arizona Passes Bill To Make Doctors Lie About Abortion To Ladies For Ladies' Own Good
Michigan Cops Had Perfectly Good Reason For Beating Up Unarmed Black Guy, Probably
Colorado Rep. Klingenschmitt: God Hates Bortions, So He Killed A Baby. That'll Show Us!
Republican House Passes Budget Bill To Screw America Because Screw You, America!
Christian Church Will Take Convention To Better State Than Anti-Gay Indiana, For Religious Freedom
Now It Is Ted Cruz Who Is Poor Persecuted Galileo, And Climate Scientists Are The Church
Tucker Carlson And Brother Buckley Double-Team Lady In Most Sexist Bullsh*t We've Seen Today
Wingnut OUTRAGED Obama Gave Interview To Noted Gay Porn Site 'Huffington Post'
Obama Rubs Obamacare In Republicans' Faces Again, What A Bad Man!
Christian End Times Family Band Gunfighting With Cops For The Lord
America's Worst Lawyer, Larry Klayman, Suing Clintons Again, Totally Gonna Nail 'Em Now!
New Jersey Town Councilwoman Flips 'P.O.S.' Mayor Double Birds, Because New Jersey
Nice Time! Super Cool Gamer Nerds Tell Indiana Gov to Go Frak Himself
Ben Carson Is A Brain Surgeon, So He Knows A Psychopath (Obama) When He Sees One (Obama)
Missouri D*ckhead Rep. Will Stop Poors From Depleting State's Sushi Supply
Donald Trump: I Invented The Word 'America.' YOU'RE WELCOME!
Georgia Patriot Plants Fake 'Muslim' Bomb To Warn World Of Muslim Threat
Butthurt Michigan Woman Sues Planet Fitness For Being Nice To Transgenders
Ted Cruz To Cover His Family With Obamacare, THEN Kill It With Fire, Because He's A Dick
California Ballot Measure Will Put Anti-Gay Bigot In Timeout For Being 'Intolerant Jackass'
Oh Hey Look At All The Billions Of Dollars Hospitals Are Saving With Obamacare
Gay-Hatin' Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Ready To Be Martyred At The Straight-People Alamo
Ted Cruz Loves Good Old Country Music Because 9/11 And Also Pandering
Jesus Helps Duck Dynasty Guy Refrain From Cutting Off Your Penis
Hot Nevada Ass-Kicking Chick Will Help Bundys Murder Federal Government. Again.
There Goes Michelle Obama, Murdering The White House Florist Again
The Gentleman From Arkansas Will Give Poor Women IUDs To Stop Birthing Trash
Alaska Republican Will Sue You If You Broadcast His Butt-Dials
Florida State Senators Taunt Emergency Chief: You Ain't Allowed To Say 'Climate Change'!
Let's Watch The Super-Racist Video That Cost Four Florida Cops Their Jobs
George Zimmerman: God Made Me Do It
Texas Rep. Finds Life's Great Purpose: Forcing Air Force Cadets To Swear Oath To God
Girl Scouts Show Obama Science Projects He Did Not Build
Happy Birthday Pat Robertson, You Are Not Dead!
Congressman From Dukes Of Hazzard: Confederate Flags Are The New MLK
Time To Inspect Ted Cruz's Canadian 'Birth Certificate,' Obviously
All Your Excited Reactions To Ted Cruz's Big Presidential Jesus Announcement
Ted Cruz Would Be Very Bad News For Gays, If He Were President LOL
Marco Rubio Will Replace Obamacare With Obamacare (And Tax Cuts), Can Be Preznit Nao?
Ted Cruz Will 'Repeal' Common Core 'Law' When He Is 'President'
Ted Cruz Kicks Off Presidential Campaign, Wonkette Staffers Crying Through Orgasms
John Boehner: Is Obamacare Replacement At The Bottom Of This Barrel Of Chardonnay?
Oh No Ted Cruz Forgot Something
Florida Employee Says 'Climate Change,' Has To Write 'Science Is A Lie' 10,000 Times
Ted Cruz FIRST! To Declare Candidacy For Also-Ran Loser Of 2016
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Are We Being Anti-Semitic To Sarah Palin?
The Weekend Stock Photo Report Resigned From Congress Before It Was Cool
The Snake Oil Bulletin: I See Bullsh*t in Your Future
The Fartknocker Report: Help, Help, Sarah Palin Is Being Repressed!
Congressschmuck Steve King Doesn't Understand Why American Jews Are So Anti-Semitic
King Obama To Give Citizens Choice Between Voting Or FEMA Camps, Thanks Obama!
TSA Let A Known Terrorist Fly. Who Was It, Besides Obama?
Mitch McConnell Writes His Own Letter Telling Everyone To Ignore 'President' Obama
Daily Caller OUTRAGED Feminist Professors Get Paid Like Actual Professors
Army Unit Has 'Racial Thursdays' Tradition To Relieve Stress Of Not Being Racist The Other Days
All Teabagging And No Brain Makes Maine Governor LePage A Dull Boy
FBI Officially Following Aaron Schock On Instagram
Arizona Wingnut Senator Not Big On Worker Rights Except Maybe For Her Son-In-Law's
Lawsuit Alleges Nice California Teacher Taught Students About Racism, By Being Racist
Peggy Noonan Pub Crawls Through 2016 Field, Finds Gin, Contradictions, More Gin
Tennessee Church: Know Who Else Wanted Equal Rights? SATAN!
Paleo Chef's Baby Food Book Pulled Because It Could Kill Babies, Unfair!
New York School Profanes American Flag With Arabic Pledge, Burn It All Down!
Texas AG Will Protect State From Scourge Of Gay-Marrieds Caring For Sick Spouses
New Hampshire Lege Tells Kids To Shove Their 'State Raptor' Bill Right Up Their Butts
Penn State Frat Bro: Everyone Needs To Just Chill About Passed Out Naked Chick 'Satire' On Facebook
Texas Landlords Bulldoze Piñata Store, Neglect To Tell Nice Tenants Because They're Mexican
Anti-Abortion Group Vows To Rebuild After Tragic Glitter Bombing
Obama: Yeah, I Actually DID Save The Economy, You're Welcome
Candidate Walker Touts Awesome Program That Governor Walker Wants To Cut
Rick Santorum Meets South Carolina Lady Who's Crazier Than Rick Santorum
Bad Seed Aaron Schock Has Shamed His Daddy And Made Him Sad
Michele Fiore: The Coloreds Go To College Now So Stop Playing The Race Card
FEMA To States: You Want Cash? Say Climate Change Is Real. SAY IT!
Americans Still Hate Hillary Clinton Less Than Every GOP Candidate Alive
White Power Ranger Is Saddest Wannabe 'Obama Assassin' Ever
Journey Into Madness: Playboy Interviews Dick Cheney
Wonkette Funtimes Activity Page: What's Wrong With This Picture Of Bristol Palin's Beau?
San Francisco Cathedral Soaks The Homeless With Water Every Night, Like Jesus Would
Today In Duh, Science: Yes, Anti-Vaxxers Caused Disneyland Measles Outbreak. Duh. Science.
Montana Invents Fun Science Experiments To Do On Ladies Who Want Legal Abortions
The Pat Robertson-Approved 12 Steps To Not Being Gay
Glenn Beck Breaks Up With GOP, Won't Return Any LPs They Bought Together
Donald Trump Promises Yoogest, Classiest Fake Presidential Campaign EVER!
James O'Keefe Can't Get Anyone To Say They Want To Kill Cops, Sadface :(
How We Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love Gay-Baiting Aaron Schock
Guess Which Fraternity Is Suspended For Being A-Holes This Time!
Mickey Kaus Resigns From Daily Caller To Spend Less Time Sucking Fox’s D*ck
Twitter Calmly Assesses The Nuances Of Aaron Schock's Resignation
Congress-Model Aaron Schock Comes Out ... Of Congress
Lady-Douche Professor Is Your New Revolutionary Thoreau, By Being A Dick On An Airplane
House Republicans' New Budget Holds Every Terrific Idea The Teabaggers Have Had ... And More!
Starbucks Adds 'Ensuring Racial Harmony' To Job Description Of Employees Making $10 An Hour
Republicans Are So In Love With Chick-Fil-A Maybe They Should Gay Marry It
Tom Cotton Dedicates First Senate Speech To Hitler
Idaho Legislator Will Never Apologize, Never Surrender, For Explaining Hindu Gods Are Fake
McDonald's Has New Secret Cure For Severe Burns (It Is Mustard)
Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore's Offspring Arrested For Being Good Christian, Also Drugs
Justin Harris Diddles Kids' Welfare Committee, Must 'Rehome' It To Better Vice-Chairman
Is It Time For Class War? (Hint: Yes)
Ted Cruz Now Terrifying Small Children In Person
Spirit Airlines Will 69 You In The Sky, Wingnut Outrage To Commence Shortly
BREAKING: Cop Actually Stopped Other Cops From Beating Guy Up! (Then Got Fired.)
Some Dude Making Bristol Palin An Honest Woman. Molotov, Bristol Palin!
Religious Freedom To Hate Gays And Maybe Beat Your Wife Spreading Everywhere, Hooray!
Mike Huckabee Has One Weird Trick To Cure Diabetes (It Is 'Money From Hucksters')
Virginia Guy Knows Who Ended Slavery, And It Was Definitely Not 'The Government'
Oh Great, Now Michelle Obama Wants To Force Girls To Learn Stuff
Republicans To Make Eric Holder Attorney General For Life To Teach Democrats A Lesson
Teevee Pastor Needs Most Luxurious Private Jet on the Planet, For Jesus
Obamacare Death Panels Oklahoma Old People, By Giving Them So Much Money
Hero Ted Cruz Will Save Us All From NASA Studying Our Climate
Tom Cotton Regrets Nothing, Except Not Paying Attention In Geography Class
House GOP Finally Looking Into How Hillary Clinton Did Benghazi, With Her Email
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Stop Supporting The Gays' Rectum Rituals!
Watch Us Get Nekkid In Church and Dunkin Donuts: Your Florida Roundup
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Let's Read Bible Prophecy Porn Together!
Which Person Are You? An Idiot, Or Someone Who Is Not?
Gays Admit To Recruiting Your Children, Say Adorably Gullible Rightwing Nutjobs
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Will Sue Obama For Stealing The Internet
Child-Regifting Job Creator Justin Harris Got $4 Million In Tax Funds For Jesus Pre-School
Here Are Barack And Michelle Obama On Television, So Probably Someone Is Mad About That
New York Cops Just Tidying Up Wikipedia, Like They Did Times Square!
Rudy Giuliani: Why Can't Obama Be More Like That Nice Rapist, Bill Cosby?
Oh, NOW Bill O'Reilly Thinks Irresponsible Words Can Inspire Violence
Suddenly Everyone* Wants To Legalize Weed (*Not Everyone)
Tennessee Pol: Chalk-Drawing Protest Slogans The New Kristallnacht. Not Over-Reacting A Bit!
Who's To Blame For Godly Justin Harris Dumping His 'Demonic' Kids? People Like You
Nice Texas Democrats Give Delicious Gay Love Cakes To Bigot Republicans
Wingnuts Very Thoughtfully Compare Obama's Civil Rights In Selma Speech To The KKK
Let's Point And Laugh At Ted Cruz Trying To 'Joke' And Failing Miserably. For Fun!
Aaron Schock Snuck Hot Male Personal Photographer On India Trip, How Romantic!
Mitch McConnell's Plan To Woo Democrats With Insults Not Working. Huh.
Conservatives Aren't Happier Than Liberals After All, But They Are Liars. It's Science!
Republicans Finally Find Oppressed Refugees Worthy Of Asylum. It's 'People Who Homeschool'
Sexy Florida Church Must Pay Taxes On All-Night Naked Beach Parties, Unfair!
Sir Terry Pratchett, God-King Of Literary Nerds, 1948-2015
Oklahoma Just Made It Easier For Everyone To Get Married, To Spite Gays! Thanks Gays!
President Lindsey Graham Will Literally Invade Congress, With An Army (But Not Literally)
Secret Service Bros Drunk Drive Into White House Barricades. Party On!
Fox News: Eric Holder Really Should NOT Have Shot Those Cops In Ferguson!
Michele Bachmann Tattles On Illegal-Lovin' GOP To Her Friend, An Invisible Lion
Obamacare-Hatin' Sheriff Begs For More Filthy Liberal Money, Is Not A Beggar
GOP's Letter Totally Worked, Iran Will Do Whatever They Say Now
Fox Panel Pretty Sure Nobody Gets Married Because Ladies Give Away All Their Sex
Two Police Officers Shot In Ferguson, Wingnuts Certain Shots Came From White House
House Republicans Desperately Seeking A Lady, Any Lady, To Make Them Not Look So Bad
WND Thrilled To Bitses With Exploding Obama Head In Kingsman: Secret Service
Republican Senator So Sick Of Everyone Saying Obamacare's Doing Just GREAT, Actually
Just About Every White Person In Ferguson Resigning For Being A Racist Disgrace
Marco Rubio Says Dumb Words About Iran, Is Dumb And Stupid. Huh!
Oh Good, Sydney Leathers Is Back, Still Doing Gross Sex On Democrats
The Long And Dickish History Of Tom Cotton (R-Dick)
Texas Pro-Life Republicans Just Hahahaha No Seriously For Real This Story Just Read It
Koch Brothers: Sorry, 1st Amendment Won't Let Us Divulge How We're Buying Climate-Change Deniers
Republicans Invite Hate-Group Leader To Whine To Congress About Persecution, Starting, Like, Now!
'Democrat' Jim Webb Mewling About Obamacare, Still Not Going To Be President
Ark. Rep. Justin Harris Had Daughters' Demons 'Exorcised' Before 'Rehoming' Them With A Rapist
12 Wingnut Men: Wingnut Thinks Only Creationists Can Judge Other Creationists In Court
Traitor Republicans: Can't Obama And Iran Take A Joke?
Texas Rep Lady Ain't About To Let No Full-Of-Itself 'Supreme Court' Gay Marry Texas
Senate Republicans Sneak Abortion Stuff Into Human Trafficking Bill, Why Not?
Texas GOP Chair Just Don't Cotton To Them 'Angry-Looking Homosexual Women'
Canadian Town Hates First Amendment, Bans Spittin', Cussin', And Hullabaloos
Hillary Clinton Don't Give A Sh*t
Pope: If I'm Assassinated, Eh, Screw It, YOLO!
Wait Up, Fellas! Bobby Jindal Wants To Be A Traitorous Senator Too!
Wingnut Matt Barber Will Not Be Anti-Gay-Bashed By Armed 'LGBT Squads'!
Gun-Toting Mama Teaches You How To Love Your Baby AND Your Gun At The Same Time
Fundie Indiana Cake Bakers 'Forced' To Close Due To Gays Wanting Cake
Oppressed Gun Fondlers Not Allowed To Be Foster Parents, This Shall Not Stand!
Sen. Tom Cotton's Iran Mash Note Not Working Out That Well For Him Actually
Shiny 10 Commandments Sure To Distract Arkansas From Godly 'Rehoming' Kid-Dumper Guy
Notre Dame Stands In Schoolhouse Door To Block Slut Pills Today. Tomorrow. FOR EVER!
Aaron Schock Has Cute Nickname For Private Planes Now, Calls Them 'Software'
Scumbag Deadbeat Ferguson Judge Resigns To Spend More Time Not Paying His Taxes
Joe Biden Literally Cannot Believe What Dicks Republican Senators Are
MI Gym Tells Lady Bellyaching About Trans People In Locker Room To Shove It
'You Work for ME!' Open Carry Loon Yells At Police, Exercising Right To Be Tedious A**hole
Surprise! City Of Ferguson Run By A Bunch Of Grifty Criminal Racists!
Republicans Send Love Note To Iran That Obama Isn't Really President, Wink Wink
Florida Sees, Hears, And Speaks No Climate Change. Also: Sinks Into The Sea
Pat Robertson Warns Lady To Quit Job Before Buddhist Coworkers Get Nirvana All Over Her
Arizona Wants To Help The Poors By Taking Away Their Medicaid
Scott Walker Signs 'Right To Work' Law So Wisconsin Can Have Fewer Rights At Work
Oklahoma Frat That Doesn't Want Any 'N*ggers' Gets Its Wish, Will No Longer Frat At All
NYT Deletes America's Real President, George W. Bush, From Selma Photo
Arizona Not About To Take Away Kids' Rights To Accidentally Shoot People With Uzis
Handsome Joe Biden Knows How Stupid Ben Carson's Gay Prison Comments Were, Jesus, God!
Girls' Foster Parents Not Impressed With Kid-Dumping AR Rep Justin Harris's Sob Story
Obama Mentions Voting Rights At Selma, Conservatives Outraged Of Course
The Weekend Stock Photo Report Chooses To Be Gay
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Misremembers History Again, This Time Her Own
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Can The Paleo Diet Cure Autism? Why No! No It Cannot!
Mind If We Grab Your Ass? Your Florida Roundup
A Comic Book Got John Lewis Interested In Civil Rights. What'll It Take To Interest Boehner?
Kid-Dumper AR Rep Justin Harris So SO Sorry ... That DHS Screwed Him And His Family (Video)
Do You Need This Kitten Video Right Now? Yes, You Do.
Very Smart Children Holding 'Communist' Prom To Warm Our Cold Tyrannical Hearts
Cokehead Congressman Will Manage Your Crisis, For Money (To Buy More Cocaine)
Those Uncouth Clintons Have Once Again Given Peggy Noonan The Vapors
Monster Drink Lady's Viral Video Had Best SEO Consultant Ever: God Almighty
Sean Hannity To That Pussy Obama: Do You Even Crossfit, Bro?
States Find Cash Cow: It Is Impoverished Kids in Foster Care, Hooray!
Gun-Nut Reporter Did Not Actually Fight Off One Million Crack Fiends Singlehandedly
Justin Harris Had To Abandon 6-Year-Old Daughter Before She Ax-Murdered Whole Family
Boehner, McConnell Bound, Gagged, Crawling To Democrats For Help, Punishment
Dinesh D'Souza Declares Reagan D'Risen
Alaska's Don Young: Let Wolves Kill All The Homeless People, Then We Can Kill All The Wolves!
Dinesh D'Souza Whines About 'Lawless' Obama Administration, From Jail
Anti-Obamacare Sheriff Still Hates Obamacare, Says Thank You Libtards For All The Moneys!
Child-Abandoning Justin Harris Explains Why He Regifted Unwanted Children
Nice Prison Inmates Save Guard From Rapist, Can't Join Mens Rights Movement Now We Guess
Michigan School District Just Wants To Hire A Good Christian, Is That So Wrong?
Struggling Mom And Pop Business 'McDonald's' To Pay SXSW Performers In 'Exposure'
Wingnut Kevin Swanson Warns About Girl Scout Lesbians, Because He Is A Weirdo
Gamergate 'Documentary' Derailed By Sad, We Mean 'Hilarious,' Men's Rights Slapfight
Little Kid Obama Hater Shut Down by Facebook, Totally Nails Conservative Victimhood
Georgia Republicans Sneak In Some Gay-Bashing While Lone Democrat Takes A Leak
Only Pat Robertson Is Pat Robertson Enough To Pat Robertson The Devil Out Of You
NRA Sad That Obama Hates Ladies Who Use AR-15 Ladyguns
Let's Meet Justin Harris, The Arkansas House's Godly Child-Abandoner
Centrist 'Democrats' Unveil Bold 'Plan' To Stop That Commie Elizabeth Warren
Justice Department Has Some Thoughts On The Ferguson P.D.
Fine, Here Is Today's Elizabeth Warren Video For You To Fap To
Trans-Hating Florida Rep Knocks Out College Student In Bar Fight (Allegedly)
America Could Have Been Saved If We'd Listened To Glenn Beck, Says Glenn Beck
Murder Of 3 Muslims Was Hate Crime Against Christians, Says Nutbag Christian
Welfare Drug Tests Don't Work, So Now Republicans Want Them Everywhere
Dr. Ben Carson Explains The Science Of Gay, And It Is Prison Sex
Calling Someone An Anti-Vaxxer Just Like Racism And Gay-Bashing, Says Professionally Stupid Man
Lindsey Graham Real Sorry He Called Nancy Pelosi A Plastic-Faced Old Hag
Arkansas State Rep Probably Had Good Reason For Giving Adopted Daughter To Guy Who Raped Her
How Millions Could Lose Healthcare Over Six Words: Your Obamacare SCOTUS Wonksplainer
Alabama Supreme Court Gonna Halt All Them Homosexual 'Marriages,' By God
The Duggars Beat Up A Cat, For Jesus
Nice Republicans Demand SCOTUS Give Them All The Gay Marriages
House Finally Passes DHS Funding Bill, John Boehner Now In Witness Protection
Westboro Baptists Beam Down To Wrong Coordinates, Miss Spock's Funeral
Poor Dears At U Of Iowa Terribly Upset By Anti-Racist Art Piece. Makeup Tests For Everyone!
Loathsome Warmonger Addresses Congress. (Not Dick Cheney.)
General Petraeus Pleads Guilty To Being Too Sexy For His Pants
Republicans Will Save Hero Polluters From EPA's Mad Scientists
Hillary Clinton Did An Email Thing That May Or May Not Be Wrong, And The NYT Is ON IT
Performance Artist Flip Benham Solves Transgender Bathrooms Problem By Yelling 'Pervert!' At It
Idaho Legislator Has A Cow About Hindu Invocation In State Senate
Sleazy Lehman Bros. Only Paid $44 Million In Bonuses Last Year, Thanks Obama
Tea Party Lady Just Wants To String Up Blacks Who Skip Netanyahu's Big Speech
Colorado Is Straight-Up Stoned All the Time, And Everything Is Awesome
John Boehner's Running Attack Ads Against His Own Party Now, That's Fun
Wonkette Commenters Teach Obamacare-Hating Sheriff A Lesson By Paying His Medical Bills
Fox News Host: Why Do Stupid Poors Waste Money Studying Poetry Instead Of Art History?
LAPD Probably Fully Justified In Shooting Homeless Guy As He Lay Prone On Ground, Says LAPD
Pat Robertson: You Know What's Not Godly? Vegetables.
Ben Carson Lays Down Some Science For You (Depending On Your Value For 'Science')
Homeless Crazy Jesus Lady Knows Who's Being Invaded By Muslims (It Is Oklahoma)
Hell-Raising Sen. Barbara Mikulski Retiring To Spend More Time Raising Hell
Aryan Bigot Twins Tell Totally Real Story About Baseball Curing Gayness
GOP Had So Much Fun Playing With National Security Funding, They're Doing It Again This Week!
GOP Pinky-Swears They Will 'Fix' Obamacare, If We Just Let Them Smash It To Bitses
Hey, Remember When Tucker Carlson Beat Up That Gay Dude In The Bathroom?
Secret Agent Lawyer Files CA Ballot Initiative To Put 'Sodomites' To Death
President Scott Walker Will Beat Foreign Enemies Just Like Reagan, By Firing Air Traffic Controllers
Idiot Republican Remembers Leonard Nimoy As Best Republican EVER!
The Weekend Stock Photo Report Will End The Internet As We Know It
Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!
Happy Birthday, Tea Party! Now Die In A Fire
The Fartknocker Report: Add China To List Of Countries Sarah Palin Can See From Her House
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Your Week In New Age Quack-Quack Woo
Ladies, Sean Hannity Can See Into Your Baby Caves
Cleveland Police Union Blames 12-Year-Old Tamir Rice For Being Some Kind Of Monster
Greetings From The Freest* State In The Land, Suckers: Your Florida Roundup
House GOP Officially Gives Zero F*cks About National Security
The Professor Schoolmarm Elizabeth Warren Primer On How Republicans Ruined Our Whole Day
Rick Santorum Makes Wonkette To Laugh With Hilarious CPAC Joke!
Even GOP Senators Are Sick Of House Wingnuts' Bullsh*t
Leonard Nimoy, 1931-2015: We Have Been, And Always Shall Be, Your Fan
Aaron Schock's Ass Writes Check For Downton Abbey Office, US Treasury Cashes It
Christian College Kids Now Beaning Gay-Lovers With Fruit For Jesus, Are Too Lame, Always Miss
Man Learns Voting Is Its Own Reward, Too Bad Reward Is A $1000 Fine
Scott Walker Knows How To Beat ISIS: Slash Their Pension Benefits
Rick Perry Remembers All Three Of His Points, Totally Ready To Be President Now
John Boehner: Kiss Your Homeland Security Goodbye, America
Intrepid Reporter Bill O'Reilly Also Did Not Lie About LA Riots in 1992 (Yes He Did)
Scientists Directly Observe Greenhouse Effect, Like That Proves Anything
Sarah Palin Delivers Mostly Coherent Speech At CPAC, WTF?
Sen. Inhofe: If Global Warming Is Real, Where Did I Get This Snowball?
Tennessee Lawmaker Lady Named Butt Not Racist, Just Loves White People
Ted Cruz Will Win Back America By Mentioning Reagan, Sexting
FCC Approves Obama's Secret Plan To Keep Internet Pretty Much The Same
Georgia Congresscrank Never Vaccinated His Kids And They All Turned Out Mostly OK
Truthful Newsman Bill O’Reilly Did Too See Those Nuns Shot Dead (No He Didn’t)
Joni Ernst Fails To Castrate Hog During CPAC Speech, Lame
Hero Texas State Senator Won't Let UN Seize The Alamo For New World Order HQ
Magic Ladyparts Expert Todd Akin Would Like To Try For Senator Again, Yesssssss!
Tyrannical Texas Government Raids Meeting Of Secessionists, Unfair To Secessionists!
Pat Robertson Has Thoughts On Devil's Yoga. They Are Bad Thoughts.
Donald Trump Has Campaign Fever And You'll Never Guess The Prescription
Anti-Gay History Footnote Thinks All Y'all Bigots A Bit Over The Line
Aaron Schock Hires Nice Lawyers To Fix All His Not-Gay Ethics Violations
Republican Congress Prepares To Destroy Republican Congress In DHS Shutdown Showdown
West Virginia Bill Will Put Obamacare IN JAIL
NCAA Bans Homeless Football Player For Taking Improper Gift Of Sleep On Friends' Floors
3 U.S.-icans Arrested Trying To Join ISIS, Probably Time To Panic Now
Ace Reporter Bill O'Reilly Killed Lee Harvey Oswald, Ran Area 51, Co-Piloted Amelia Earhart's Plane
Tennessee Republicans Solve Pressing Problem Of Muslim No-Go Zones. In Tennessee.
Idiot Nevada Rep Lady Will Wash That Cancer Right Outta Your Hair
Idaho Republicans Vote To Ban Judeo-Christian Jesus
The People Have Spoken, And Obama Does Not Love America
Sociopath Revenge Porn Operator Can't Believe Google Would Infringe On His Privacy :(
Chicago Police Cosplay Fun '24,' CIA Torture Stuff, For Fun!
Congressloon Wants YOU (To Spy On Your Neighbors' Shopping Carts)
Marco Rubio’s Obamacare Alternative Sure Is Doing Swell, Has Tens Of Customers Now
Hero Idaho Lady Wants To Keep Government Out Of Whether Your Kid Dies
SHOCKING New Poll Shows Majority Of GOP Total Idiots
Obama Vetoes Keystone Pipeline Because He Is A Pussy We Guess
Fox News Can't Remember Any Rightwing Terror Attacks. We're Here To Help
America's BFF Saudi Arabia Says Dancing Makes You Gay, Which Is Obvious Science Fact
Badasses Elizabeth Warren And Elijah Cummings Give Joe Scarborough A Talking-To
Jeff Flake's Dog-Suffocating Son Sues Joe Arpaio; Can We Root For Both Sides To Lose?
Scott Walker Refuses To Provide Transcripts Of Conversations With Nonexistent God
Judge Roy Moore Worried Freaky Kinksters Will Marry Too Many Alabamians
Bill O'Reilly Is One Pissed War Correspondent
Washington Bigot Florist Will Frost Jesus's Cakes In Heaven, No Gays Allowed
Mitch McConnell Outwits Obama By Letting Him Keep Immigration And DHS Funding
Guys, Please Don't Murder James O'Keefe
Wingnuts Fall In Viral Love With 12-Year-Old Who Knows Obama Hates America
Idaho Republican Asks How Do You Get Stuff In A Lady's Vagina?
Everyone Who Knew Bill O'Reilly In 1982 Is A Vicious Lying Pinhead
Hello! I, Vladimir Putin, Am Preparing To Surrender Mother Russia To Scott Walker
Spokane Board Of Health Member Standing Up For Anti-Vaxx Rights Of Tinfoil Hat Community
Mrs. Jeb Bush Will Buy ALL THE THINGS
Hero Texas Lady Wants To Look Into Your Genes Before You Use The Toilet
Climate Change Denying Scientist Is Bought And Paid For, Surprise!
GOP Has New Plan To Keep Department Of Homeland Security Open, Just Kidding
Wyoming Republican Too Much Of A Dick For Other Wyoming Republicans
Louisiana Police Love Retro So Much, Decide to Bring Back Vintage Sodomy Laws
Scott Walker Not About To Admit Obama's As Christian As He Is
The Fartknocker Report: Healthcare.Gov Causes Sarah Palinception
ISIS And American Red States Agree: People Aren't Descended From Some Damn Monkey!
Congressjerk Darrell Issa So Grateful Rudy Giuliani Finally Impugned Obama's Patriotism
The Weekend Stock Photo Report Doesn't Love America
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Shoot-Out At The Not-Okay Corral
TripAdvisor Reviews From Your Racist Uncle
Stop, Collaborate and Put Your F*cking Hands Up: Your Florida Roundup
We Suck At Judging Caption Contests Like You People Suck At Writing Them
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Bleach Enemas 'n Cream
Wingnuts So Mad About Report On Right-Wing Terrorism, They Just Might Shoot Something
Michigan Hairdresser Burns Down Porn Shop For Jesus
Decent Seattle Police Union Head Risks Getting Thrown Out Of Police Union Head Union
NRA Will Drown Grover Norquist's Islamic Terrorism In A Bathtub
August Washington Post Columnist Would Like A Little F*cking Decorum Please
Grifty Virginia Governor's Wife Sentenced To Sleeping On Very Low Thread Counts In Prison
Obama Will Force Priests To 'Bortion Anchor Babies, Says Noted Idiot Jim Hoft
If Kansas Jumped Off A Bridge, Would Other States Do It Too? Apparently Yes!
Rudy Giuliani Isn't Racist, Just Can't Stand That White Guy Who's President
Georgia Republican Will Protect Us From Glow-In-The-Dark Jellyfish People
Peggy Noonan Wishes Obama Would Give Ungrateful ISIS Jihadists A Spank Right On Their Bottoms
Texas Gays Up Marriage For A Sec, EVERYBODY PANIC
BREAKING: Bill O'Reilly Has Possibly Lied About A Few Things
Colorado District Decides It's OK With Real History After All, Keeps AP Classes
Please Do Not Wear These Gun T-Shirts If You Are Black
Florida Cops Smelled Weed In Dude’s Butthole, For Reals
How Is Congressdude Aaron Schock Getting Himself In Ethics Trouble Today?
Dana Loesch Has Very Clever, Satirical Humor Thoughts About Dumb Ay-rabs
Saturday Night Live Discriminated All Over Victoria Jackson's Free Gay-Hating Speech
Walmart Says Ugh, Fine, We Will Give People A Tiny Raise, Whatever
Norway's Muslims Did Not Get Fox News Memo, Will Do Nice Things For Jews
Mean Enviros Won't Let Tenn. State Rep. Throw Pig Carcasses All Over The Place, Except They Did
Memphis Mother Of The Year Beats Own Child For Being Too Gay
Nevada Bill Will Solve Rape, Let All Co-Eds Shoot Everyone, What Could Go Wrong?
Latest Proof Obama's A Muslim: He Openly Possesses An Index Finger
S.D. State Rep.: Stop Coming To America And Performing Legal Abortions, ISIS!
Rudy Giuliani: Hey, Did You Ever Notice Obama's Not One Of Us? If You Know What I Mean?
Washington Judge To Florist: 'Relationship With Jesus' Not Good Reason For Being A Bigot
Oklahoma Republicans Want Proof You Don't Have Sex Cooties Before You Get Married
GOP Shockingly Silent On Awesome Obamacare Numbers, Huh!
Pentagon Used Your Money To Give Dudes $84 Million In Boners Last Year
John Kasich Explores Presidential Bid, Hopes Everyone Can Stay Awake Long Enough To Vote For Him
Freedom-Hating Boston Mayor Asks People Not To Dive Off Buildings, Please
Wingnut Lady Shoots Self Dead While Adjusting Boob-Gun
Pat Robertson: Witches Might Curse Your Ultrasound Babbies If You Post Them On Facebook
Glenn Beck Knows Why The Walking Dead Is A Hit: It's The End Of The World And We Know It
Convicted Felon Dinesh D'Souza Calls Obama 'Ghetto.' From Jail.
'Time To Make The Donuts' -- The KKK
Rand Paul Preparing To Announce Plan To Not Be President
Hillz And Liz Warren Braid Each Other’s Hair, Plan World Domination (Probably)
Columbus Super 8 Motel Has No Room At Inn For Good Samaritans' Homeless Couple
Pricey New York Real Estate Proves Global Warming Is A Hoax, Obviously
Oklahoma Won't Let A.P. History Defame America No More
Not-Racist Mississippi Gent Very Sorry Now For All That Not-Racism
Exploding Train Brings Fresh Infusion Of Burning Toxic Sludge To West Virginia
All Scientists Are White Men, So Those Black And Latina Ladies Must Be Janitors
Homeless Rape Victim Gets To Walk Miles And Miles To Face Rapist In Court, Because America
John Boehner Pines For Good Old Days Of Great Recession
Tennessee Makes Jesus Your Savior for You, How Nice
Americans Swear To Remember To Blame GOP For Shutting Down Homeland Security, LOL
Arkansas Does Not Need Your Gay Business, Gays!
Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!
Behind The Black Robe: Ruth Bader Ginsburg On Wine, Abortion, And (Your) Tattoos
Hotel Finds Free Money, It Is Employees' Tips!
No One Cares About Candidates' College Degrees, Wingnuts Upset Anyway Because It Is A Day
Arkansas State Senator: Liberals Love ISIS So Much They Don't Even Want Nuclear War
Kansas: Let's Give All These Orphans To That Nice Normal Duggar Family
America's Worst Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Would Like Another Butt-Kicking Please
Here Is Your Presidents Day Caption Contest, For You To Suck At
Boehner: Latest Benghazi Investigation Not Trying To Hurt Hillary, We Just Like Shouting 'Benghazi!'
Fine Mississippi Gentleman Lawmaker Definitely Not Racist About Welfare And 'The Blacks'
Texas Gun Fanatics Only Did A Few Crimes, What's The Big Deal?
President Ben Carson Will Win All The Wars By Ignoring All Those Dumb War Rules
Resigning Oregon Gov. Kitzhaber Gonna Go To So Much Jail Maybe (Because He's A Democrat)
Alabama's Roy Moore Will Appeal SCOTUS Marriage Ruling Directly To God
Fox 5 Sorry For Suggesting Obama Is Rape Suspect, He Is NOT Rape Suspect
Idaho Lady Tries To Beat, Choke Jewish Woman Into Personal Relationship With Jesus
Rick Perry Apparently Serious About Trying To Be President Again
Racist Mississippi Judge Indicted For Assault and Racial Slur, Probably Isn't Even Racist
Antonin Scalia Doesn't Hate Gay People, He's Just Mean Because He Thinks They're Cute
Correction: Barack Obama Is Not In Fact The Antichrist
The Weekend Stock Photo Report Lies To Your Face And You Love It
Deleted Comments Of The Week: In Which The League Of The South Weeps And Whines
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Butt-Chugging Gluten With The Food Babe
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Moves Lips About Abortion, Lies Ensue. Surprise!
Rick Perry: Poor Texans Love Not Having Health Insurance, It Is Their Hobby
Tea Party Loon Dave Brat: Socrates Would Want Us To Slash School Funding For Poor Kids
All About the D*cks: Your Florida Roundup
Rep. Blake Farenthold: I Did Not Have 'Wet Dreams' About Sexing That Staffer I Fired
Oregon Gov. Kitzhaber, Vowing To Never Give Up, Never Surrender, Resigns
Pennsylvania Governor Jumps On Trendy Not-Executing-People Bandwagon
Hey Idiot Juvenile Wonker Pals, Here Is Your Valentine's Day Boner Juice
What 'Lesser Cut Of Meat' Are Women? Like A Flank Steak Maybe?
Asshat Wankers Celebrate Lincoln's Birthday By Thanking John Wilkes Booth
GOP Rep Just Sure Obama Really Loves Those Mooslims He’s About To Bomb
Oh No, Zombie ACORN Coming For America, Again (No It Isn't)
Shell Oil CEO Believes In Global Warming Because He Is A Dirty Hippie Obviously
Best Justice Ever Ruth Bader Ginsburg May Have Been Slightly Drunk At SOTU Address
Gee Does It Seem Like Elizabeth Warren Knows More About Banks Than This Bank Lobbyist Does?
New Republican Congress Accomplishes Nothing, Goes On Vacation
Morning Maddow: Oregon Governor Definitely Resigning Or Maybe Not, Who Knows?
Federal Judge To Alabama: Do What I F*cking Said Already!
GOP Congressjerk To Government Workers: Stop Fapping On The Taxpayers' Dime!
Rick Santorum Hates Americans For Our Erotic Freedoms
San Diego Cops Thought Brothers Were Robbing Own Store, Beat Them Up Just To Be Sure
Rush Limbaugh: Scott Walker Should Use Rape Jokes To Explain Quitting College
Creationists Name Neil deGrasse Tyson 'Censor Of The Year' For Cutting God From 'Cosmos'
Sam Brownback Is Playing You With His Shiny Gleaming Anti-Gay Bullsh*t (Again)
House GOP Will Return Dignity To Poor By Starving Them
Alabama Republican Says Gay Marriage Is End Of The World. Redneck Proves He's Wrong
How All Your Favorite Liberal Blogs Muffed The Yoga Pants Bill (Which Does Not Exist)
Fox News: Science Is A Hoax That Steals Our Freedom And Driving Privileges
GOP So Mad Obama Failed To Plan For GOP Destruction Of Obamacare
Ruth Bader Ginsburg: It's OK, America, Gay Marriage Won't Hurt A Bit
West Virginia GOP Loves Babies, Doesn't Care So Much About Women Or Constitution
Morning Maddow: Jeb Bush's Website Violates Everybody's Privacy, Oops (Video)
Rand Paul Blames Hillary Clinton For Rise Of ISIS, New Coke, Cancellation Of Happy Endings
Oklahoma Runs Out of Varmints and People to Shoot, Turns to Flying Robots
Ted Cruz Has Had It With You Federales Gaying Up Those Nice Straight Red States
Barack Obama Hates Maureen Dowd, As Do All Patriotic Americans
Scott Walker Way Too Smart To Answer Whether Evolution Is A Thing
John Boehner Mad Enough At Democrat Obstruction To Say A Cuss
Climate Scientists Do Normal Science Thing, Proving Global Warming A Total Hoax
Let's Just Count All The States That Aren't Trying To Make The Bible Their Official State Book
Arizona Senate Committee Votes To Make Federal Government Optional
Elizabeth Warren Asks Questions About Vaccines, Gets Shocking Answers
Idiot Atheist Murders Three Muslim Students In NC; Conservatives Are Greatest Victims
Alabama Continues To Reel From Tyrannical Federal Gay Marriage Over-Reach-Around
Morning Maddow: Brian Williams Gets Six Months, Jon Stewart Gets Life (Video)
Want To Go To A Measles Party? No, You Don't
Tennessee Continues Long Tradition Of Hurting Poors, Totally Sucking
Jon Stewart Made An Announcement Last Night, Don't Wanna Talk About It
Please Stop With The Holocaust Chic, It Is Not Actually A Thing
Montana Would Like To Not See Your Naked Bits, Please
Guess Who Is A Big Wage Stealing Robber Jerk? It Is Right-Wing Capitalist Hero Papa John!
Creationists: Darwin Was Wrong And Unicorns Are Real
Aaron Schock Spending Tax Moneys On Hot Male Personal Photographer. Totally Normal.
Alabama Anti-Gay Today, Anti-Gay Tomorrow, Anti-Gay FOREVAH
Good Old Days Of Debtors Prison Making A Comeback In Ferguson, MO
Texas Mom Drops Challenge To Super Sexy 'Marxist' Book About Poors
Bobby Jindal Can't See Race, Not Even In The Mirror
Your Smart TV Is Probably Spying On You, What Could Go Wrong?
Time To Lawyer Up, Texas Fetuses
Morning Maddow: Meet The Techie Bears Who've Been Trolling Jeb Bush With Equality
Obama To Ask Republicans' Permission To Bomb Ay-rabs, They Will Surely Love Him Now
Alabama Smashes Marriage So Nobody Gets to Play with It Now
Jeb Bush's New Tech Genius Is Aware Of All Internet Traditions, Including Misogyny
Meet The WND Commenters Trying To Kill Obamacare
Vatican To Flog Bishops For Protecting Pedophiles ... Eventually
Utah Puts Science Standards On Hold, Demands More Local Control Of Reality
BREAKING: George Bush Never Lied About WMDs, Was Gullible Idiot All Along
Ben Carson Will Not Have You Slurring The GOP As Anti- Science, Sir
Study Shows HPV Vaccine Will Not Turn Your Daughters Into Whores
Fox's John Stossel Will Turn Over All Disaster Relief To Our Benevolent Walmart Overlords
Supreme Court Forces Alabama's Top Wingnut Judge To Swallow Gay Marriage
Brian Williams Takes Break From Nightly News, Will Try To Remember Not To Show Up Anyway
Gun Rights Fools Behave Foolishly Again, Aren't You Just Floored?
Dumb Obama Needs Mike Huckabee To Explain Racism To Him Again
Sad Ted Cruz Wonders Why Obama Hates Poor People So Much
Morning Maddow: Republican Congress Fiddles While Syria Burns (Video)
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: SCOTUS Will Be Perfect When We Get Rid Of All The Men
Ted Nugent: Sarah Palin Is The Dream Dr. King And The Founding Fathers Died For
Viewing The Weekend Stock Photo Report Causes Autism, But It's Worth It
Deleted Comments Of The Week: How Can You Libs Like Rachel Maddow When She's Always Wrong?
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Have Some Miracle Ginseng With No Ginseng
The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Sarah Sees Syria By The Seashore
Excuse Us While We F*ck This Dolphin: Your Florida Roundup
Line Your Morning-After Gut With These Brunch Potatoes
Tea Party Hero Sen. Tom Cotton Says Gitmo Doesn't Recruit Terrorists, Because LOGIC
West Virginia GOP Bros Invent New Kind Of Rape: The 'Legal' Kind
Forget Elmo Videos: Teach Kids About Stranger Danger By Kidnapping Them!
Fox News Can't Believe Obama Said Christians Have Done Bad Stuff Too, For Jesus
Insane Anti-Vaxxer Children's Book Will Make Every Kid Want Measles
Florida (Congress) Man: Texas Is So Crazy, You Can't Even Have All The Dildos
Scott Walker Dicking Over Everyone In Wisconsin, Will Definitely Run For President Now
Creationists Sue Kentucky For Refusing To Flood Scientific Noah's Ark Theme Park With Cash
Kansas Just Going To Go Ahead And Arrest Teachers For Teaching Now
Morning Maddow: Gay Oregon Bears Will Use Jeb Bush To Fight For Equality
Learn This Hot New Trick To Raise Girls To Be Ladies, With Homemaking Classes
Who Are We Shooting This Week? Oh, It's Girl Scouts!
Americans Cool With Gay Marriage, But The Gays Should Not Have Cake Or Flowers
Colorado Wants To Make It Easier For Kids To Spread Disease, Because America
Aaron Schock's Staffer Resigns To Spend More Time Being Racist Jerk On Facebook
Harvard Won't Let Professors Sex Up Undergrads Anymore, Unfair!
Florida Tries To Ban Teen Sexting, Forgets One Small Detail
WND Loon Erik Rush Wants To Hang Entire Obama Administration Some More
Let's Thank Rick Perry For Giving Anti-Vaxxers The Freedom To Give Our Kids Measles
Vermont Proposes Official Latin Motto, Wingnuts Tell Vermont To Go Back To Mexico
Open Carry Terrorist Not Threatening To Kill Anyone, Just Wants Them Dead
Spirit Animal Taylor Swift Sees Aaron Schock Through Not-Gay Office Crisis
Politico Wins The Morning With Some Henry Kissinger Knob-Gobbling
Morning Maddow: RNC and Hategroup AFA Might Not Heart Israel After All
Colleges Can Avoid Looking Rapey By Just Lying About Rape Numbers
New Surgeon General Will Get America Higher Than A Richard Linklater Movie
Sarah Palin To Vomit 'Unique' Drunken Word Salad All Over CPAC Again
GOP Blaming Immigrants For Diseases GOP Doesn't Believe In
Million-Year-Old 'Rocker' Pat Boone Thinks Obama Will Set All The Murderers Free
Hero Science Man Matt Walsh: Feminists Hate Women, Because Slut Pills Kill
Hero Hilton Heir Is Emperor Of All He Surveys, Also: Arrested
Science: Democrat Women Oppressing Democrat Men, By Beating Them In Elections Except When They Don't
Whoopsie! Nebraska Gun Humpers Accidentally Recognize Gay Marriage
Homophobic Russian Politician Punked In Lesbian Selfie, Throws Giant Jerk Baby Tantrum
Megastar Country Music Has-Been Larry Gatlin Gonna Violence Dumb Congressman ... In Song!
Utah Republican Pretty Sure You Can't Rape Your Wife, Cuz, Like, She's Your Wife
Aaron Schock Might Get Gayest Ethics Violation Ever
Beloved San Fran Sci-Fi Bookstore Time-Travels Three Years Into Future To Go Galt
Wannabe Missouri Gov Lady Wishes Liberals Would Stop Porning The Children
Morning Maddow: The GOP Has Vax-In-Mouth Disease
Glenn Beck: Science Is The Vatican, Anti-Vaxxers Are Galileo, I Am Still An Idiot
Creationists Mad At JFK, The Ocean, Carnival Cruise Lines, The Super Bowl, Reality
GOP Governor Rauner Will Let Illinois Grow Ganja, For Your Health
Let's Repeal Obamacare: 56th Time's The Charm
Fox News Injects Known Toxins Into Vaccination Discussion
Aaron Schock's Downton Abbey Office Not Gay, Just Helping A Buddy Out
Montana Police Ask Homeland Security For Help Spying On Hippie Terrorists
Republican Party Comes Out Against Basic Hygiene, For Freedom
Oil Companies Pumping Waste Into California's Water, It's Probably Fine
Joe Biden Pretty Sure He's Not Trying To Become King Of Venezuela
Creepy Michigan AG Who Stalked Gay Kid Gets To Pay $3.5 Million
Morning Maddow: Chris Christie's Half-Vaxed London Comments (Video)
Rand Paul Does Not Care For Impertinent Reporter's Questions, Is Kind Of A Dick About It
That Lululemon Jerk Is Still A Total Pervy Jerk
Neo-Nazis Take Wrong Train, Miss Own Rally, Because Neo-Nazis Are Stupid
Gays Now Rudely Getting Nekkid On Persecuted Christian News Feeds
Responsible Gun Owners Improve Safety Record, Only Maim Selves
Paul Ryan So Mad At Obama For Inventing Poverty
Bristol Palin Begs Legislators To Save America From Federal Tyranny
Mike Huckabee: Doing The Gay Is Just Like Swearing, Having a Beer
America Embarks On Dumbest Science Debate Ever
Chris Christie Smacked Down On Vaccines By Chris Christie's Office
Obamacare Fails To Ruin Another Person's Life And Fox News Is ON IT
Chris Christie/Jenny McCarthy 2016
Georgia Senate Demands A.P. History Only Teach About Shiny, Happy America
Idiot Anti-Vaxxers Can't Believe People Are So 'Vicious' About Them Being Idiots
Sundays With The Christianists: How Homeschooling Will Re-Christianize America
Introducing The Weekend Stock Photo Report, A Video Thing From Yr Beloved Wonkette
Oh No We Sexualized Elizabeth Warren All Over Your Chest!
The Snake Oil Bulletin: You Want To Read About 'The Amazing Randi,' The Greatest Woo-Fighter
Florida Supreme Court To Consider Whether Buttsechs Is Sex: Your (Sexy!) Florida Roundup
In Pentagon's Special Vietnam History, Everything Was Beautiful And Nothing Hurt
Wonkette Week In Review: Everything You Need To Be Well-Informed, Mostly
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Might Have Driven Us Nuts
Idaho State Rep Learns To Love The Gays, Tearfully Votes To Deny Them Rights
Giant Baby Cop Can't Use His Big Boy Words, Uses Handcuffs Instead
Attention Beta Males: Chuck C. Johnson Answering Your Questions About How To Date Hot Asian Ladies
Michigan Teabagger Cites Magna Carta, Eternal Rights Of Man In Epic Fight Over Seating Chart
SC Republican Just Wants Judges To Pass Religious Test, What's Wrong With That?
Texas Republican Knows Teachers Need To Do A Little Killing Sometimes, For The Kids
Mitt Romney Decides He's Cool With Losing White House Just The Two Times, Thanks
Classy Australian Obituary Calls 'Thorn Birds' Author Fat, Ugly, National Treasure
CA Dad Would Like Anti-Vaxxers To Stop Trying To Kill His Son
Morning Maddow: Egad, The RNC Still Has A Religious Bigotry Problem? (Video)
VA Legislators Call Backsies, Black Magic, 123 No Takebacks On Gun Bill
Crazy Anti-Energy Drinks Lady Horning In On Nice Texas Bigots' Anti-Muslim Protests
Daily Caller Dude Suddenly Realizes Sarah Palin Is Dumb And Terrible, Would Like A Medal Please
Muslim Texans Singing (American) National Anthem Shouted Down By The *Real* Patriots
Florida School Board May Just Give Up On Distributing Bibles. Thanks, Satanic Temple!
Bryan Fischer Was Not Fired From Wingnut Central For Saying Any Of The Following
Megyn Kelly To Mike Huckabee: We're Just Whoring It Up All Over The Place At Fox News!
Bill O'Reilly And Sarah Palin Engage In War Of Wits. Both Lose
Todd Starnes Has Some Thoughts On American Jesus We Mean American Sniper
Rand Paul Has A Shotgun For Your Drone, Buddy
Parties Are For Boys, Sleepovers Are For Girls. At College.
Judge Rules Same-Sex Couple Can Now Violate Sanctity Of Birth Certificate
Morning Maddow: American Family Association Fires Most Embarrassing Hater Bryan Fischer
Who's The Best Liberal To Take On Hillary Clinton? Mitt Romney, Of Course
Gun Nuts Just Want Mom's Address To Say Howdy, Probably
Victoria Jackson Proves Obama Is A Muslim Again With Catchy New Song, Again
Loretta Lynch Won't Impeach Obama, Obviously Not Suitable Attorney General
Saks Only Wants To Discriminate Against This One Trans Person, Not All Of Them
South Carolina Rushes To Overturn Convictions Of Civil Rights Protesters ... From 1961
Republicans Suing Obama Again, This Time About The Mexicans
Scammy Conservative PACs Fleece Your Grandma With This One Weird Trick
Hero Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Will Block Gay Courthouse Door, For Freedom
Donald Trump: Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump. TRUMP!
Morning Maddow: Rachel Tests Balls In A Men's Room, For SCIENCE! (Video)
Congressmoron Louie Gohmert Quite Displeased With 'Our Republican Females'
Illinois Gov. Rauner Halts 'Non-Essential' Spending Except For His Wife
Ted Cruz's Dad: Good Christians Must Fight Against Transgender Use Of Bathrooms, Or Else
Wingnut Sheriff To Single Black Moms: Stop Making Cops Shoot Kids!
Mike Huckabee Simply Fainting At Crass Broads And Their Sweary Filthy Sh*tmouths
Louisiana Congressman Has Reefer Sadness
Mormons Suddenly Okay With Some Gay Rights, Weird!
Koch Brothers Pledge $889 Million To Least Losery 2016 Candidate, If Any
Bowe Bergdahl May Be Charged With Desertion, We Should Probably Kill Him Either Way
Indiana Governor To Start Very Own Pravda, Hooray!
Ron Paul Escapes Tethers In Son's Basement, Heads To Fun Secession Conference For Fun
Rush Limbaugh: Big Government Nanny State Controlling You Through Weather Warnings
House Benghazi Committee To Investigate House Benghazi Committee
Obama Is Bad Commie, Shrinks Deficit Again
Morning Maddow: Snowmageddonghazigate Hits New York, Impeach ... Someone
People Who Think About Gay Sex A Lot Uncover Massive Gay Conspiracy At Fox News
Wingnuts Find Huge Scandal To Forever End Loretta Lynch's Attorney General Dreams
Black Yale Student, NYT Columnist's Son, Pretty Obvious Criminal To Area Cops
Wingnuts Pretty Sure It Was Illegals What Gave Measles To All Our Unvaccinated Kids
Rep. Steve King Loves Americans From All Planets Except The Messican Ones
Boehner And McConnell Have Awesome Replacement For Obamacare But Left It In Their Other Pants
Christian Town In Michigan Being Ensorcelled By Atheist Demon-Man, Smallfolk Panick
Goodbye, Northeast United States, Can We Have Your Stuff?
Fox News Explains How American Snipers Saved India From Saddam Hussein
President Trump Recalls How Easy Beating Obama Was In 2012
Sarah Palin Yo, She Is Classy As Fuc
Obama To Save Lazy Polar Bears Even Though They Don't Even Have Jobs
GOP Senate Drops Words 'Civil Rights' From Subcommittee About Civil Rights, Because They Get It
Alabama Judges Forget How Law Works, Sorry Gay Couples
Morning Maddow: Meet The Prophet Lady From Bobby Jindal's Prayer-A-Palooza
Carly Fiorina Will Be Best Lady President EVER, Says Carly Fiorina
The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Rewrites McDonald's Ad Real Good-Like
Sundays With The Christianists: Their Satanic Majesties Request ... MORE COWBELL!
The Idiot's Guide To Gun Storage
The Snake Oil Bulletin: 'Health Rangers,' Please Don't Put GMO Scientists On Your 'Kill Lists'
Guns, Boob Leaks, And Wack Doogie Howser: Your Florida Roundup
Friendly Flying Death Robots And Mystery Bird-Killing Gunk: Your Life-Sucking Environment Roundup!
Wonkette Week In Review: The Best Of Our Site, Wrapped In Bread Bags
Here Is A Jimmy Carter Caption Contest, For Your Weekend Amusement!
Same Jerks Who Poisoned West Virginia Back With New Name, New Toxic Spills
Iowa Freedom Summit To Gather Most Of America's Rightwing Idiots In One Place
Five Other Already-Illegal Things Congress Should Vote to Make Illegal
Watch President Obama Insult America By Talking To Regular People Instead Of Chuck Todd
Target Screws Fired Canadian Workers, CEO Only Gets $61 Million
Fox News Takes Insane Acid Trip About Eric Holder Lynching Darren Wilson In Yemen, It Is Just Wow
Elizabeth Warren Bored Kicking Wall Street's Ass, Goes After Big Pharma For Little Change Of Pace
Morning Maddow: Here's Rachel Saying 'Shtupping.' Also, Maybe A Murder At Gitmo?
Louie Gohmert's Movie Review: 'Selma' An Inspiring Reminder To Fear Muslims
Rick Santorum's Tears Only Make New Pope And Nancy Pelosi Stronger
Oklahoma Rep: Hope You Like Your 'Common-Law' Marriages, Godless Hippie Homo Folk!
Rich Texas Parents: Reading Ayn Rand In School Will Fix All The Poverty
Florida Hero Chokes Out Old Black Dude For Being Completely Law-Abiding Citizen
House Votes To Extra Super Double-Ban Taxpayer Funding For Abortion (Which Is Already Illegal)
Alan Grayson's Bigamist Wife Has Leaking Boob Sacs, We Are Done Here
Doctors To Fox Host: Vaccinate Your Kids, Idiot
23 Times Fox News Sh*t The Bed, You Are Welcome
Mike Huckabee: Ted Nugent's Song About Ladies' Vaginas Really Just About Kitty Cats
Fox Knows Who Is To Blame For Ferguson Riots (It's Still Eric Holder Obvs)
Anti-Gay Man Wants Gay Dudes All Over His Cake, But Not in a Gay Way
House GOP Aborts Dumb Anti-Choice Bill Because Ladies Vote Too, Huh
Morning Maddow: Is Obama Allowed To Be Feeling This Sassy? Pretty Much.
Mitt Romney's Climate Change Flip Flops Accelerating At Alarming Rate
Senate Almost Unanimously Pretends To Believe In Climate Change
House GOP Posts SOTU Video With Climate Stuff Magically Erased
WA 'Pro-Choice Democrat' Decides He's Not Pro-Choice, Not A Democrat, IS A Total Jerk
Orange County High Schoolers All Have Measles Now, Thanks Anti-Vaxxers!
Crazy Anonymous Flyer People: Trans-Women, Please Stop Raping All The Bathroom Ladies!
Obama's Free Socialist College Plan Unfair To Fox News Idiots!
Ted Cruz Ready To Be President, Not Ready For YouTube
SCOTUS Getting Ready To Bring Back Segregated Housing, But Not In A Racist Way
Joni Ernst: Let Them Wear Bread Bags
GOP Congressladies Would Like To Stop Talking About Legitimate Rape Please
Totally Sane Colorado State Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt To Do Something Very Sane, We Bet
On Minimum Wage, GOP Offers Only Toxic (Aaron) Schock Treatment
Felon Dinesh D'Souza Has Met African-Americans, And You, Obama, Are No African-American
2015 GOP State Of The Union Response Starring Joni Ernst And A Plastic Bag Shoe Liveblog
Extra Extra! Get Your 2015 Barack Obama State Of The Union Liveblog Here!
Family Research Council Says The State Of Our Union Is All Gayed Up On Abortions
Jackbooted CPS Thugs Remove Kids From Wingnut Home Over Dad's Snake Oil Cure-All
Paris To Fox News: See You In Court For Being Lying Liars
Gun Roundup: The State Of Our Union's Gun Nuts Is Stupid As Ever
Water Crisis: Filthy, Liquid Death In Montana, Washington, Kiev, Everywhere!
Supreme Court Says Muslim Inmate Can Grow Beard, Sharia Law Now In Effect
Florida Man To Give Tea Party SOTU Response. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Serious Pundit Ron Fournier Blesses Us With A State Of The Union Viewing Guide, Oh Joy
Mike Huckabee Can't Believe Beyonce Still Hasn't Resigned In Disgrace
Wingers Demand Ginsburg, Kagan Recuse Selves From Gay Marriage Case, Go Play Softball
What Time Is The State Of The Union? On What Channel Is The SOTU?
Sexist Liberals Afraid Pig Farmer Joni Ernst Will Castrate Obama In SOTU Response
Morning Maddow: Remember When Reagan Went To A Whites-Only Golf Course And Fought MLK Day?
Surprise! Justice Scalia Is Biggest Jerk On The Court
Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Youngsters Know Nothing Of Ronald Reagan's Work
New Pope: You Ladies Don't Have To Have All The Babies All The Time for Jesus
White Teenage Criminals Are Cuddly And Cute And White And Not Really Criminals Really!
Martin Luther King Dreamed That One Day All Rightwingers Would Claim Him As Their Own
Muslims Condemn Terrorism, Get Southern Hospitality Texas-Style (It Is A Bad Style)
California School Board Must Read Bible At Meetings Or The Terrorists Win
Oklahoma Cool With It If You Wanna Shoot Some Black Cops, Guys
Read Sam Brownback's Lips: Whoops, We Raised Kansas's Taxes
Forget Bushes And Clintons: John McCain Will Start Dynasty With 'Illegitimate Son' Lindsey Graham
Fox News' Statements No Longer Operative, Osama Bin Laden Not Holed Up In Buckingham Palace
Feisty Liberal Obama Plans To Tax The Hell Out Of Rich People, For America
Morning Maddow: For 2016, GOP Debates To Try Ackin' Less Cray-Cray (Video)
Good Job, Everyone! 2014 Was The Hottest Year Ever, And It's All Our Fault
Wonkette Chats With Tennessee Couple Gay-Marrying Their Way To The Supreme Court!
The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Sarah Takes Sort Of Stand Against Wall Street Maybe
Sundays With The Christianists: John Steinbeck Invented 'Bortion, Wrote Evil Books
How Dumb Is My State? (Very Dumb): Your Florida Roundup
If You Even Know What Love Really Means, You Will Make This Almond Cake From Scratch
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Don't Get Your Dorito Spermicide Here!
Wonkette Week In Review: Don't Miss This Essential Reading
Scott Walker Addresses People Of Iowa? New Hampshire? Wait. Wisconsin? Yeah, Wisconsin
SCOTUS: Everyone's Getting Gay-Marriage Throat-Crammed This June
AG Eric Holder Tells Cops They Can't Steal Your Stuff Anymore
Ben Carson Says ISIS Pretty Much Like American Founders, Except Maybe For The Wigs
Don't Like Getting Boned By State Taxes? Just Be Filthy Rich!
Tennessee To Be Next State To Insure More Kids, Despite Dastardly Obama
Oppressed Whites Sue Dallas County Over Voting Rights, Poor Dears
Deadbeat Minneapolis Archdiocese Went And Blew All Its Money On Sex Abuse Cases
NYPD Making Friends And Influencing People, Except The Opposite Of That
Anti-Choicers Gonna STRIKE! To End Abortion, Just Like Martin Luther King
Ass, Gas Or Grass: Which Is Sarah Palin Offering Here?
Morning Maddow: The Moon Is A Planet! No, It's A Star! Is It A Star? (Video)
AZ Mandates High School Civics Test, We Do Not Even Have A Problem With That
Hero Conservatives Will Fix Stupid Framers' Dumb Constitution
Ammosexuals Exploit Charlie Hebdo Massacre For Media Attention And Profit
Parents Let Kids Walk Around Neighborhood Unsupervised, Are Terrible Parents Obviously
Satanic Temple's Fun Coloring Book Ruins Bible Handout Day In Florida
Pope Agrees That Obviously Evil Fracking Is Obviously Evil
Republicans Have Massive Freedom Boner For Egypt's Dictator
Michigan Governor Vetoes NRA Bill To Arm Lady-Beaters, World Keeps Turning
GOP Ladies Cool With Letting Menfolk Do All The Presidenting, Thanks
FBI Saves America From ISIS Wannabe With Big Terrorist Dreams Of Doing Big Terrorism
Ted Cruz's Underage Drinking Is The Only Thing We Like About Him
Now You Don't Even Have To Go Broke Or Quit Your Job When You're Sick, Thanks Obama
'Muslim-Free' Gun Range Lady Bans South Asian Dudes, Is Definitely Not Racist
Texas and Virginia Lawmakers Will Defeat The Homosexuals This Time, Goldurnit!
America, Baby, Mitt Romney Swears It Will Be Different This Time If You Take Him Back
Deadbeat Pro-Lifey Loser Ex-Congressjerk Joe Walsh Can't Wait For Terrorists To Kill Everyone On TV
Nice Lady Sees Devil Symbol In School Bus Lights, Gets On TV
Colorado Church Cancels Funeral Because Dead Woman Excessively Gay
Jamie Dimon Crying Platinum Tears That Banks Have To Pay Money For Breaking Laws
Obama 'Petulant Child' For Depriving Secret Service Of Old French Whores
North Dakota: You Don't Even Need Ladies To Bake A Baby, So Time To Outlaw Abortion Again
Open Carry Nuts Yell Nonsense At Texas State Rep, Because That Is Kind Of Their Thing
Please Stop Trying To Poison John Boehner, It Is Very Very Rude
Alabama School Arms Children Against Bad Guys, With Cans Of Creamed Corn
Atlanta Fire Chief Simply Does Not Care For Gay People, Wingnuts Are ON IT
Jailed Virginia Lawmaker Joe Morrissey Wins Special Election ... From Jail!
Mike Huckabee Can't Believe Obamas Allow Girls To Listen To Beyonce, Who Is A Prostitute
Cop Fight! NYPD Battles Itself As Union Meeting Descends Into Fisticuffs
Morning Maddow: Mitt, You Said You Were Done. Really, You Did (Video)
West Virginia Adjusts Science Standards, Adds Theory Of Intelligent Coal (Updated)
Donald Trump Will Sue The Sh*t Out Of You, All Of You, Everywhere, Shut Up Is Why
Congressidiot Learns Some People Really Touchy About Hitler For Some Reason
You'll Never Guess Why Fox Thinks Sexytime Leaker Gen. Petraeus Is Being Framed Now!
Oklahoma Just Wants To Protect Hobby Lobby's Right To Teach Your Kids 'Bout Jesus, No Big
If Your Husband's Not Gay, He Was The Other Night (TLC Teevee Review!)
Rub, Roll, Tie Up Big Meat And Heat Until Bulging, Dripping With Fat
Wingnuts Add 'Did Not Go To Paris' To Barack Obama's Articles Of Impeachment
NYPD Union Seeks Advice On Racism From Terribly Sane Pastor Who Loves Segregation
Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio Now In Charge Of Murdering Science In The Senate
National Guard Should Shoot Gay Couples In The Face, Politely Requests Homophobe
Morning Maddow: It's Anonymous Versus 'ISIS' In Battle Of The Nerds (Video)
Elizabeth Warren Defeats Wall Street Treasury Dude, With Fire
Democrats Trying To Tax Wall Street, Sounding Suspiciously Like Actual Democrats
Mitt Romney Thinks Mitt Romney Would Be Easily Defeated In 2016, Will Grace Us With Run Anyway
Rick Santorum: I'm Not Crazy, THEY'RE The Crazy Ones
Ben Carson Shilled Scam AIDS And Cancer Cures For 10 Years, Will Be Your Next President Obvs
Terrible Elite Westside Jerks Now Giving Mickey Mouse Measles
Incoming Texas Gov Has Had It Up To Here With You Yokels Governing Yourselves
Time For Jackbooted Thugs To Take These Parents' Babies Away Forever For Real
Rich People: Being Poor Sounds Easy, Let's Not Be Poor, Though
Pastor Remembers That Time He Punched Jesus Right Into A Kid
Schoolkids Take Mosque Field Trip, Wingnuts Obviously Just Fine With That
Literally Every Sentence David Brooks Says About Paris Shootings Is Wrong (VIDEO)
NYC Mayor's Wife Wore Old Dungarees To NYPD Funeral, Says Everyone On The Facebooks
South Carolina Republican Wants To Take Guns From Lady-Beaters. No, Seriously.
Morning Maddow: Paris Attackers Didn't Just Come Out of Nowhere, Imagine That (Video)
Republicans Demand Obama Declare Holy War, Invade France
New Pope On Boobs: Suck Em If You Got Em
Sundays With The Christianists: Ernest Hemingway Will Lure You To Hell Or Key West
The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: There Goes Sarah Knowin' Stuff About Russia Again
Saks Fifth Avenue Pretty Sure It's Still OK To Discriminate Against Trans People
George Zimmerman Goes With Wine Jug For Lady-Beating, For Variety
Wonkette Week In Review: All Our Best, According To The Usual Gang Of Idiots -- You!
Who Is Being Shot By Their Toddlers Today? Your Saturday Gun-Fun Roundup!
Michigan RNC Guy Posting Stormfront Stuff On His Facebook Basically, Why Not
Disgraced Gen. Petraeus Might Go To Prison For Being A Sexytime SPY!
Vatican Decides El Salvador's Archbishop Romero Died For Jesus, Not Marx
Conservatives Continue Rewriting History, Because They Are Dumb
America Turns To Wingnuts For Comfort, Wisdom On Paris Attacks
Peggy Noonan Explains Civilization To Savage Muslim Hordes
Duck Dynasty Wife Maybe Does Not Know What She Thinks About Shmashmortion
Obama Proposes Free Community College; Will Terrify Wingnuts With Educated Populace
Mike Huckabee Kicks Off His Maybe-Campaign With Some Prison Rape Jokes, For Jesus
Second Circuit Court: No, The Devil Did Not Make Your Vaccines
NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio Does The Pot Like A Common Jazz Criminal, And The NYPD Is On It
Morning Maddow: Let's Relive Corrupt Sen. John Ensign's Sleazy Sex Scandal, Eww (Video)
New Video Shows Cops Compassionately Cuffing Tamir Rice's Sister While He Was Dying
Texas Walmart Discriminates Against Shotgun Wedding Photo (With Actual Shotgun)
Ted Cruz Just Gonna Wage A Little All-Out Civil War In The Senate, No Big
Who Will Be California's Next Barbara Boxer? (Hint: It Is Probably Scott Brown)
Liberals Succeed In Dastardly Plot To Oppress Rich Sportsballer Curt Schilling
Louie Gohmert Defeated! Adults In Charge! Eat Your Pets!
How Are Wingnuts Reacting To Paris Massacre? You’d Be Surprised! (No You Wouldn’t)
Zany CO Springs Mayoral Candidate In Jail For Menacing With AR-15, Other Hijinks
Mitt Romney Meets With Old Campaign Chums For No Special Reason, Why Do You Ask?
GOP Plan To 'Fix' Obamacare And 'Save Workers' Will Cost $18 Billion, Insure 1 Million Less, Hooray!
Mitch McConnell Notices Economy Pretty Good, Figures He Built That
GOP House Fixes All Nation's Problems On First Day Back, By Banning Abortion Again
Morning Maddow: Who Is This Charlie Hebdo Guy Anyway? (Video)
Shell To Pay Nigeria $83.5 Million For Oil Spills, Instead Of Original $6000 Offer (Not A Typo)
Take This Quiz To Find Out If You're A Real Conservative Or A Stupid Liberal Who Hates America
South Carolina Will Learn Your Kids To Love The Second Amendment Proper
Phyllis Schlafly Finds Way To Finally Give Men A Fair Shake
GOP Senate Says Obama Must Make Sweet Love To America's Oil Lobbyists, Or Else
OG Hip-Hop-Head David Duke Reviews New Album By Nicki Minaj And The Jews
You'll Never Guess Who Fox News Thinks Is Guilty Of Terrorisming The United States Of Paris
Whiny Maryland Politician Kirby Delauter Orders Reporter To Keep His Name Out Her Mouth
No, John Boehner Is Not Fellating The President, Says John Boehner
New GOP Congress Pretty Sure All You 'Disabled' 'Folks' Are Fakers Anyway, So Suck It
All Muslims Everywhere Murder French Satirists; Lone Wolf Acting Alone 'Bombs' NAACP, Alone
Church's Worst Cardinal Weeps Fat Tears For Men Murdered By Feminism
Alabama Town Now Owned By God. God To Flip It To Ganesh, Make Bank.
Orly Taitz Pretty Sure George Clooney's Hot Lawyer Wife Will Finally Prove Obama Isn't President
Morning Maddow: Rachel Watches The Joe Biden Senate Show, Because We Forgot To
Indiana Republicans Will Not Eat Your Gayness, Sir, No They Will Not!
At The Times, A Call For New York Cops To Do Their F*cking Jobs
Fox: When Will Barack Obama Stop 'Slut-Shaming' These Poor CEOs?
Sad Former VA Gov. Bob McDonnell Will Be Your Pen-Pal, From Prison
Great And Powerful John Boehner Rises From Ashes Of Tea Party Tantrum
Gas May Be Cheaper, But Congressional Jerk Babies Refuse To Pay For Roads
Stalkers! Lady Beaters! Come To Michigan And Pack All The Heat You Can Handle!
Here's Your MMMM Delicious Mustard Sauce For Super Easy Crockpot Corned Beef
Boston Cop Calls Guy ‘N-Word,’ Beats Uber Driver, Steals His Car. Because ‘Boston’
Who Will Be New House Speaker When GOP Murders John Boehner With Fire?
Grand Juror Thinks Ferguson Prosecutor Should Eat A Bag Of Dicks
White House Being Very Mean To That Nice Racist Steve Scalise
Gays Terrorizing Nice Irish Children With Tender Sounds Of Sodomy
Morning Maddow: Steve Scalise Talked To Neo-Nazis. Let's Not Forget What Neo-Nazis Are (Video)
Being A Cop Is Just Like Being Black Or A Woman, Say Sad Oppressed Cops
Meet Your New Michele Bachmann, Same As Your Old Michele Bachmann
Pat Robertson: Beat Your Kids Until They Stop Smoking Dope And Start Loving Jesus
BREAKING: Idaho Newspaper Trashes NRA, Has Not Yet Been Burned To Ground
Sarah Palin Was Someone's 'Achiever' Of The Year. Let That Sink In.
Pittsburgh Police Chief Says No To Racism. Cops As Fine With This As You'd Expect
Sarah Palin Being A Bit Of A Dick Again!
Barack Obama To Murder Your Keystone XL Oil Pipeline With His Bare Hands
RIP Edward Brooke, First Black Senator Since Reconstruction, First Black Dude Barbara Walters Boned
Evil Obama Forces Eviler Billionaire CEO To Give Raises To Everyone Instead Of Firing Them, Huh
Idaho Gov 'Butch' Otter Asks Supreme Court To End Gay Marriage. For The Kids!
Michele Bachmann Gave You Your $2 Gas. You're Welcome, America!
NYPD Cop Peeved At Reporter Disrespectfully Covering Cops' Solemn, Funereal Disrespect
New House Speaker Louie Gohmert Will Fix America, Depose Dumb Drunk RINO John Boehner
The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: We Showed Sarah Palin's Bra, We Guess?
Sundays With The Christianists: Satan Done Wrote 'Huckleberry Finn'
Luxury London Apartment Ad Wants To Stab You, Play Around With Your Blood
Oklahoma Legislator Wants Hoodies To Be Illegal When Cops Feel Like It, Punk
Now Grover Norquist Wants To Drown Republicans In The Bathtub
You Know Who Needs To Rebrand? The KKK, Which Is All About Love
Wonkette Week in Review: Holiday Content That's Still Under Warranty
If Florida Counties Have To Marry The Gays, They Just Won't Marry Anyone. Happy Now, The Gays?
Local Fox Reporter Fired Just For Making Boring Story More Fun And Less True, Unfair!
Hold On To The Holiday Spirit: Your Friday Cocktail Hour Spiked Cider
Harry Reid May Never Play Guitar Again
Madonna Is Your New Nelson Mandela! Please Pass The Cyanide.
How Are The Feminists Keeping Men From Getting Laid Today?
With No Other Problems In Sight, GOP Will Spend 2015 Fighting Obamacare
So You Want To Mommyblog At Yr Wonkette
Smirking Thug Who Attacked Lady Subway Worker Was An NYPD Cop, Surprise!
Georgia Police Chief Only Shot Wife Once, And It Was Totally An Accident Both Times
Sarah Palin Pisses Off Allllll The Animal Lovers. Oh Like You've Never Stepped On A Dog
Bank Lobbyists Pretending They're A Bunch Of George Baileys LOL
Maryland Governor Kills Death Sentences, Ruins Fun For Execution Enthusiasts
Steve Scalise Totally Didn't Speak At David Duke Event, Says Close Friend Of David Duke
Farewell To Democrats' Favorite Imaginary Presidential Candidate Mario Cuomo
Elizabeth Warren Is Our 2014 Legislative Badass Of The Year, Obviously Duh
Your 2014 Legislative Sh*tmuffin (National Division): Oh Right It's Ted Cruz For A Change
Jerk-Off Democrat Who Boned Medicaid Is Your State Legislative Sh*tmuffin Of 2014!
2014 Was A Pretty Great Year For The Environment. Really!
2014: The Year All Rape Ended Forever Because It Never Existed Obviously
2014: The Year Of Terrible Science From People Saying 'I'm Not A Scientist'