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2020: The Year We Marched For Black Lives While The Cops Whined

2020: The Year Trump’s Dummies Wouldn’t Wear Masks

Here Are Just Some Of The 85,000 Stupid Things People Believed This Year

2020's Most Garbagest Men

2020: The Year Of The Unleashed Karens

America's Plague Year Also Featured A Pandemic!

2020: All These Dumpster Fires Actually Happened This Year.

Grab A Bucket Of Champagne And Read Wonkette's Top Ten Posts OF THE WHOLE ENTIRE YEAR

Happy New Year, America! Your Friends And Family May Be Absolute F*cking Morons

Laura Loomer Laughed Out Of Court Again, This Time For Suing The Muslims

Trump Election Witnesses Somehow Even LESS Credible Than They First Appeared

Hold On, It's Gonna Get Bumpy: Your Pandemic Update​​​

Josh Hawley Announces 2024 Presidential Campaign

Trump Knows Who Stole GA, It Is Brad Raffensperger's Brother, Hunter Biden!

US 'Can't Afford' $2,000 Stimulus Checks. O RLY?

COVID-19 Comes At You Fast

Liberty U Kids Kicking Sh*t Out Of Jerry Falwell And Charlie Kirk, FOR JESUS

Philly DA Letting Men Out Of Prison Just For Being Innocent

Trump Bitching About Melania's Mar-a-Lago Renovations Now, LOL @ His Misery

50 People That Show Why You Shouldn't Sell Stuff Online! Tabs, Wed., Dec. 30, 2020

German Pilot Draws Dick In Sky For Most Helpful, Educational Reason!

Proud Boys Get Deplatformed. Literally.

White House Commemorates Holy Martyr Who Died For Liberty. Whatever Could It Mean?

Trump’s Christmas Hell House Sends Another Guest Home With COVID-19

Trump Tried To Ban Teaching About Racism. Judge Says Eat Sh*t.

Nikki Haley Still Having Inappropriate Relations With That Socialism Chicken

Uh Oh, The Wall Street Journal Hates Trump Now Too!

House Declines Trump Offer To Piss On Military, Votes To Override Veto Of Defense Spending Bill

House Passes Those $2,000 Stimmy Checks Trump Wants. Your Turn, Mitch.

Lucky Black Folks Enjoy One Last Karen Encounter For 2020!

You've Heard About His Dumbass Lawsuit. Now Read The GOHMERT MANIFESTO!

New York Post Sends Four Letters To Donald Trump: G, T, F And O.

Why 2020 Is An Old Acquaintance You’ll Want To Forget. Tabs, Tues., Dec. 29, 2020

Congress's Dumbest Man Files Election Lawsuit That Would Make A Krakenhead Blush

Virginia Cop Fired After SOMEBODY Posted Very Murdery Things Using His Parler Profile

Jake Tapper: Kayleigh McEnany Lies Like Lying Liar Who Lies All The Time

Donald And Melania Looking For Palm Beach House As Tacky As They Are

New QAnon Idiot Reps Gonna Call ‘Nuh-Uh!’ On Biden’s Electoral College Win

Surprise! Nashville Bombing Becoming Superspreader Event For Conspiracy Theories

GoDaddy Gives Employees Christmas Bonus, It Is 'F*ck You'

How Batsh*t Is Trump's Covid Stimulus Signing Statement, On A Scale Of One To VOTER FRAUDSSSS!11!1!1?

Marco Rubio: Jackass

You Might Not Have Noticed Because It Was Christmas, But Trump Was Insane This Weekend

How President Grinch Almost Stole Christmas For Struggling Americans

Here’s Why Half Your Gifts Were Returned Already. Tabs, Mon., Dec. 28, 2020

Dennis Prager’s Fake University Flunks Civil War History, Human Decency

Trump Too Busy Golfing To Care That Downtown Nashville Blew Up

Here Is Donald Trump Junior Negging His Girlfriend Because He Is So Good At 'Joke'

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is Late For Work!

Merry Christmas Babbies

And A Merry Holly Jolly Good Dr. Anthony S. Fauci Day Also To You!

Trump Defunds The Troops Because You Were Mean To Him Online

Arizona GOP Loses Trump Election Court Case Vs. Reality

Trump Will Pardon Them All, Will Pardon His Family, Will Pardon Himself. F*CK IT, IT'S FINE.

All GOP Wants For Christmas Is Your Stimulus $, Your Sick Leave, And Your Tips

Shiny Normal Thing! Joe Biden Picks A Teacher For Education Secretary

Merry Christmas, Youngs! You Killed God.

Everyday Heroes Share How They Ruined A Rude Person's Day. Tabs, Thurs., Dec. 24, 2020

And Now Here's Michael Cohen With Some Holiday Prophecies About His Former Crime Boss!

We Found It. The Dumbest Election Suit Of All Time. WINNER!

Donald Trump Dances About Architecture

Texas AG Ken Paxton Tried To Get Disaster Relief Money Taken Away From Own State

Memo To Trump Staffer Idiots: You Really Do Have To GTFO (And You Can't Stay Here).

Congress Got Climate Help In Your Stimulus Bill!

Let's All Welcome California's New US Senator, Alex Padilla, And Maybe Cry A Tiny

Trump Warms Self Over Yule Log Of Republican Senator Bones

Trump Pardons Bring Christmas Hope To Child Murderers, Traitors And Other Garbage Humans Everywhere!

South Carolina Governor, First Lady Attend White House Holiday Party, Catch COVID-19 .... Somehow.

Pentagon Freaking Out Li'l Bit About President Sh*t-Tyrant's Behavior, Probably No Big

Trump Blows Up The Stimmy, Maybe

19 Wild Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Cheating On Them! Tabs, Wed., Dec. 23, 2020

All The Kool Konservative Kids Are At Charlie Kirk's Palm Beach Superspreader Party

Trump Mulling Immunity For Mohammed bin Salman, Because Is Murdering US Journalists Even A Crime?

Rand Paul’s Brain Is Full of Spiders. There’s Also Garlic In His Soul.

Suspicious Lack Of National Guard As 'Patriots' Storm Oregon Lege For Some Dumb F*cking Reason

Trump Hates Mike Pence And Trump Hates Mitch McConnell And Trump Hates Mike Pompeo And Trump Hates

Rudy Giuliani Can't Out-Crazy Sidney Powell, But He's Trying

Look At These COVID-Denying, Republican Assholes Getting Their COVID-19 Vaccines!

Stimulus Bill All Happening, Mitch McConnell Must Be REALLY Scared About Georgia

Bill Barr Pisses On Trump's Big Macs One More Time On His Way Out The Door

Data Scientist Rebekah Jones Gonna Sue F**K Out Of Florida Cops Who Raided Her Home

Proud Boys Don't Want Any Ladies Joining Their He-Man Woman-Haters Club

Uh Oh, Daddy Might 'Forget' To Pardon Ivanka After What She Just Said!

Why The Partridge Is Always More Expensive Than The Pear Tree. Tabs, Tues., Dec. 22, 2020

Here's The Definitive Science Article On Tonight's Big Cool Space Thing

Your Sunday Show Rundown Is Mostly About GOP Sen. John Barrasso Being An A-Hole

Nice Time! Statue Of American Hero Barbara Johns To Replace Racist Traitor In US Capitol

Is Amy Coney Barrett Secretly Joe Biden's Dead Daughter? QAnon Creeps Think So!

We Now Return To ‘Space Force: Galactic Guardians Of The Universe'

Sidney Powell Serves Up Rotting Squid Carcass To Supreme Court

Kyle Rittenhouse's Mom Hoping To Reel In The Murder Groupies With 'Free Kyle' Bikinis

Boston Cops Just LOLing About Hitting Innocent People With Cars, This Seems Fine

Louisiana GOP Rep. Clay Higgins Gettin' ALL Dramatic Again

Tennessee GOP Gov. Bill Lee Just Can't Figure Out Why State Being So Stupid About COVID-19

Trump Brings Tantrum To Supreme Court. Merry Christmas, Justice Barrett!

Medical Genius Ivanka Trump Helped Daddy Covid Up America’s Pandemic Response

Congress Finally Settles On 'Stimulus' Deal That Won't Cover Most People's Rent

Trump So Over COVID-19, Ready To Ruin Country In New Ways

30 Things You Didn't Know About Dirty Dancing! Tabs, Mon., Dec. 21, 2020

Trump Supporters Sure Have Some Messed Up Inauguration Day Plans

GOP: Bob Cratchit’s Already Got A J-O-B So No Free Stimulus Turkeys This Christmas

A Very Desperate Trump Reportedly Considering Hiring The Kraken, Releasing The Military

Tucker Carlson Thinks The CDC Wants To Deprive White People Of The Vaccine So They All Die

Republicans Right On Schedule With The 'Are There No Workhouses?' Spiels

Look, Happy Normal Thing! Let's Meet Joe Biden's Green Cabinet!

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is Bob Bob Bobbing Along

It's All Over At The Trump Campaign But The Airing Of Grievances And Shell Companies

Harvard Law Grad Kayleigh McEnany, Would You Like To Spout Some Absolute Horse Sh*t About 'Law'?

Well This Is Just A Swell Time For Trump To Cut Healthcare Funds To California Over Abortion

Tucker Carlson Wants To Know Why THEY Are So Insistent On Giving You Corona VACCINES

Pentagon Cancels Biden Transition Meetings For Totally Normal Reasons, Not Suspicious At All

Michael Flynn Can't Believe People Are Acting Like Martial Law Is Some Big Deal

Donald Trump Had A Pretty Good Stimmy Idea At A Pretty Bad Time

Georgia Gippers Take Break From Kicking The Sh*t Out Of Each Other To Get Beat Up By Judges

Guys Who Wear Masks Probably Do Hot Butt Stuff With Their Human Girlfriends, What LOSERS

Thank God At Least The Vaccine Rollout's Going Smoothly ... Oh F*ck

Oh Nothing, Just Russia Literally Declaring War On America While Trump Beats Off To OANN

Worst Colleges: Make Sure You Don't Go Here! Tabs, Fri., Dec. 18, 2020

Look, Shiny WONDERFUL Thing! Rep. Deb Haaland Is Biden Pick For Interior Secretary!

Trump Has Third New Shiny Reason To Veto Defense Bill, It's Getting Really Weird!

Man Of The People Tucker Carlson Being Very Populist About That Elitist Bitch Dr. Jill Biden

Mike Pence To Be VERY BUSY In NOT AMERICA For Week After Making Biden President

Mitch McConnell Might Allow A Stimulus, Since JOBS Are On The Line! (His Job)

Want A Trump Pardon? Lie And Tell Him He'll Still Be President January 21.

A Children's Treasury Of Stupid Newsmax/OANN Sh*t Trump Is Dumb Enough To Actually Believe!

Sure, Top HHS Aide Urged Infecting Everyone, But It's Not Like That Was Actually The Policy

The Last Meals Of These Celebrities Are Pretty Head-Turning! Tabs, Thurs., Dec. 17, 2020

Look, Shiny Normal Thing! Here's Biden's Green Team!

The Krakhead Cometh

Woman Who Works For Joe Biden Said A Mean Cuss And Now We'll Never Get Along!

SCOTUS Does Good By Doing Nothing Again!

Betsy DeVos Tells Staff To 'Resist' Public Schools Or Some Damn Thing

Senate's Dumbest Republican Can't Stop F*ckin' That Election Fraud Cannibal Sandwich

Georgia Republicans Gear Up For Runoff By Kicking The Sh*t Out Of Each Other

Patriotic Houston Ex-Cop Crashed Into Van, Held AC Repair Guy At Gunpoint To Foil 'Voter Fraud'

That's Right, MAGA Idiots, Time To Eat Mitch McConnell's Face!

Chicago Cops Terrorize Naked Woman In Her Home For Crime Of Watching ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Past Season 10

Nobody Wanted To Play 'Truth Or Covid' With Mike Pompeo At His Big Sexxxclusive XXXmas Party :(

Here's How You're Probably Ruining Your Coffee. Tabs, Wed., Dec. 16, 2020

Billy Graham's Biggest Mistake Just Grateful Trump Ended Death Penalty For Saying 'Merry Christmas!'

Fed Ex Saves Grateful Nation With COVID Vaccine Delivery, Coincidental $2.2 Million Donation To Trump

Tucker Carlson's Little Man Syndrome Peeks Out His Fly To Whine About Dr. Jill Biden

Jilted Trump Gonna Set Fire To Georgia With Loeffler, Perdue Trapped Inside

Newsmax And Vladimir Putin Agree: Joe Biden Is The F*cking President.

Fake GOP Electors Meet To Cast Fake Votes For President Real Loser

Biden Beats Up On Deposed Trump In Second Victory Speech Behind Gym

Get A Load Of This Dan Crenshaw Asshole And His Ad 'For' Kelly Loeffler And The Other One

Trumpers Were Too Ensconced In Their Conservative Bubbles To See This Election Coming

Good Riddance, Bill Barr. You Don't Have To Go Home, But You Can't Stay Here

How Drunk Is Too Drunk For Your Zoom Holiday Gathering? Tabs, Tues., Dec. 15, 2020

Trump's Legal Clown Car Runs Out Of Road

Maria Bartiromo Getting Secret Messages From Someone Who Knows Trump REALLY Won The Election

Ivanka Trump Thinks Little Marco Rubio’s Senate Seat Would Look Fetching On Her

It's A Denial-Filled Sunday Show Rundown!

Kelly Loeffler’s Racist Senate Campaign Attracts Shocking Number Of Racists

New York Post Now Doxxing Random Cam Girls For No Reason

Joe Biden Will Win The Presidency Today. Again.

NSA Robert O'Brien Grifts Through The Tape On Farewell European Tour With Wife

Trump Pinky Swears He’s Not Bogarting All The COVID-19 Vaccine

Trump Idiots Reach 'Let's Whine A Bunch More And Cry UNFAIR!' Stage Of Grief

SmartNews Images

Newt Gingrich So Mad At Georgia Secretary Of State For Letting People Vote

Democrats Need To Start Treating Republicans Like Gangsters They Are

Proud Boys Attack Black Churches, Burn BLM Banners, Cops Think It Just Might Be A Hate Crime

Trump Has One More Coup-Coup Plot For Staying In Office

35 Times People Saw Entitled Behavior And Just Had To Act! Tabs, Mon., Dec. 14, 2020

Big Tough Gym Guy Reenacts 'Love Actually' Scene To Protest COVID Restrictions

Sorry, GOP, You’re The Party Of President Klan Robe Now, Not Lincoln

WSJ Guy Takes Brave Stand Against Dr. Jill Biden Calling Herself Dr. Jill Biden

On Clickbait: When People Tell You They Just Want To Read Headlines, Believe Them

Trump And The MAGA Crowd Go Off The Deep End After SCOTUS Refuses To Undo The Election

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is IN HIDING, FROM SHAME. Just Kidding, We Don't Got That.

While We Wait For SCOTUS TO DQ Texas Suit, Let's Check In On Ken Paxton!

Orlando Sentinel Takes Back Endorsement Of Dipsh*t GOP Congressman, Because Of The Seditious Treason

Jerry Falwell Jr Unsuits. No, Come Back!

Mike Lee Claims Women's, Latino Museums Too Divisive, Unlike Trump Pretending He Won Election

See Trump's Coronavirus Idiot Demanding CDC Coronavirus Reports Stop Reporting On Coronavirus

Who's Ready To Watch Trumpland's Last Best Legal Hope CRASH AND BURN?

Charlottesville Police Chief Declares War On Unitarians Over Racial Profiling Complaint

Lo, Unto Us Shall Be Delivered A Vaccine!

Bill Barr's Got 40 Days Of Fascism Left In Him After All!

Eric Swalwell: He Bang With Chinese Spy?

20 Unusual Signs Of High Intelligence. Tabs, Fri., Dec. 11, 2020

Fox News Will Cry For 3,000 Dead Americans A Day Once They Figure Out How It's Hunter Biden's Fault

Mitch McConnell Confirms Even More Batsh*t Trump Judges

Georgia Republicans Vow To Never Repeat Mistake Of Holding Fair Elections

Rudy Giuliani Rested And Ready To Go Forth And Blow COVID On Folks Some More

The Kraken Cracks Up As Sidney Powell's Last Two Election Suits Implode

Small Business Loan Program Was Full Of Frauders, And We Need Another

'Fox & Friends' So Mad Liberals Murdering Baby Jesus Again, ON HIS BIRTHDAY

It's Wonkette Art Appreciation Time, Featuring Ryan Zinke's Official Interior Dept. Portrait

We Found Them! We Found The 17 Stupidest States!

If Kellyanne Conway’s Tell-All Book Is Called ‘Alternative Facts,’ We’re Gonna Break Something

Do You Consider These 29 People To Be Funny Or Not? Tabs, Thurs., Dec. 10, 2020

Dear Jack Stuef, Do You Think You Owe Wonkette Some Of That Treasure?

Only 42 More Days For Posts Full Of Whiny-Ass Trump Tweets, Aw NUTS!

Patriotic Idaho Jackholes Delay Mask Mandate By Terrorizing Health Board Members' Kids

Mellissa Carone Ain’t Quarantining And You Can’t Make Her ... Now, Where’s Her Goddamn Fireball?

Shorter Melania: I Can Be To Escaping White House Now?

Will Newsmax Facebook The MySpace Out Of Fox News?

Biden Picks Tom Vilsack, Marcia Fudge For Cabinet, Gets It Half Right

Donald Trump Lost Every Case In The World Yesterday And Then Made Up Some More Cases To Lose Those Too

Chemtrail Kelli Ward Just Asking If You Are Willing To Fight And Die For Donald Trump

Kristi Noem Says Earth Is Round, Biden President-Elect, Quickly Recants

Sorry, No Vaccine Available For President Sore Loser’s Complete, Utter Failure

Mitch McConnell's Latest Stimulus F*ck-Tussle

State Attorneys General Agree: Texas AG Ken Paxton Can Go Eat A F*ck

What's Really Going On With The Sister Wives Cast Today! Tabs, Wed., Dec. 9, 2020

Michele Bachmann Pretty Mad Satan Stole Her Vote

Trump's Legal Team May Suck At Law, But As Covid Superspreaders They Really Are 'Elite Strike Force'

Supreme Court Does Good Thing For Trans Kids, So ... Surprise!

Sean Hannity: Why Must The Law Apply To White Guys I Like?

Trump Could Have Brought Enough Corona Vaccine For Whole Class, Didn't

Hooray, Trump Might F*ck Off To Florida Soon And Never Come Back!

Former Head Of Israel’s Space Program Says Aliens Met Trump, Still Stuck Around

Senate's Dumbest Republican Invites Loonypants Anti-Vaxxer To Testify On COVID-19, Lizard People

Pennsylvania Gippers Sure Would Like To Help Trump Mount That Coup!

Florida Cops Bust Into COVID-19 Data Tracker’s Home, Do Scary Cop Stuff

Bill Barr Maybe About To Go All CAN'T FIRE ME IF I QUIT FIRST, HASHTAG #LAWYERED!

Lin Wood Spreads Conspiracy Theory Kelly Loeffler Aide Killed To Send Message To Brian Kemp

These Cats Were Posing As Dogs For The Attention. Tabs, Tues., Dec. 8, 2020

Michigan Sheriff Wins Prize For Today's Dumbest Election Suit — And The Competition Was STIFF!

David Sedaris's 'Jokes' About Letting Customers Fire Workers Go Over Like Lead Guillotine

A Cavalcade Of Cowards! Your Sunday Show Rundown

Virginia Military Institute Begins 12-Step Racist Recovery, Removes Stonewall Jackson Statue

Welp, We Got Another Megachurch Guy Claiming COVID Vaccine Is Mark Of The Beast

Rickia Young And Family Still Bear Scars From Philadelphia Police Assault

Newt Gingrich Says Trump Won Georgia, But Stacey Abrams Stole It ... Somehow!

It's Never A Nice Day For A COVID-19 Wedding

Trumpland Election Suits Slam Into Wall Of THAT'S NOT HOW LAW GOES, A-HOLES!

Even So-Called ‘Good’ Republicans Can’t Fully Reject President Sore Loser

Kelly Loeffler Has Vision For Georgia, Which Is ... LOOK! BLACK MAN! RUN!

Trump Whines Away Last Act Of His Awful Presidency

Armed Trump Idiots Terrorize Michigan Secretary Of State At Her Home

Rudy Giuliani Has COVID-19. We Feel Just Terrible About It.

This Is How To Make Long Hair Over 50 Look Chic! Tabs, Mon., Dec. 7, 2020

Covidiot Bar Owner Runs Over Cop. Surely The Blue Lives Matter People Will Be Outraged!

Crazy Old Man Yells At Clouds In Valdosta, Georgia

Infowars' DeAnna Lorraine Wants Trump To Challenge Biden To A 'Rally-Off'

Covidiot Doctor Loses License After Bragging About Not Wearing A Mask ... Ever

Megyn Kelly Disappointed Activist Movements Me Too And Black Lives Matter Co-Opted By Activists

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is On Leave Baby! (No It's Not)

Republican Woman Acknowledges Basic Fact Of Reality

How Is Nancy Pelosi Being A Terrible Monster Today?

Your Wonkette: WRONG ABOUT A THING

Should We Evict 30 Million People At The End Of This Month? We Think 'No'!

Donald Trump Heading To Georgia To Save, Sabotage Senate Runoffs

Let Them Eat COVID, Or These Fabulous New Job Numbers!

New York Young Republicans Hold Big Swinging Bug-Chasing Party For Freedom

A Year Later, Trump Admin Finds Info On Some Stolen Kids' Parents Stapled To Wall Behind Old Ziggy Cartoon

Trump Hairball Lawyer Cancel-Cultured Out Of Favorite DC Social Club, Unfair!

Latest Very Credible 'Ballot Fraud' Witness Has History Of Ghost Videos, Actual Fraud Conviction

Diana's Butler Reveals Why Harry Really Married Meghan! Tabs, Fri., Dec. 4, 2020

Welcome To The Monkey House, Mark Kelly!

EAT THE KRAKEN! Trump Idiots Turning On Sidney Powell, Lin Wood, Declaring Them Hot Garbage

Mitch McConnell Says No To Mitch McConnell's Stimulus Plan Because Dems Agreed To Mitch McConnell's...

BREAKING: WI Supreme Court Declines To Make YOOOGE Ass Out Of Itself In Trump Bid To DQ All Ballots.

TFW Even Rudy Giuliani Is Like 'OK, Lady, You Sound LI'L BIT NUTS RIGHT NOW'

Chestnuts Roasting While The World's On Fire

Katie Porter Reminds Steven Mnuchin He's Not A Lawyer, He's An A**hole

Found The Voter Fraud! It Was Some GOP Florida F*cker Named Bill The Whole Time!

Trump And Bill Barr Making America Great Again By Bringing Back Actual Firing Squads

Donald Trump Threatens To Not Fund Military. Oh Dear. How Sad.

All Fun And Games Until Trump's Biggest Fluffers Start Accusing ... Bill Barr? ... Of Treason?

The Kraken Went Down To Georgia, Weird Sh*t Ensued

People Who Were Never The Same After Being On Ellen! Tabs, Thurs., Dec. 3, 2020

Trump Getting Ready To Sign A Big Old Stack Of Get Out Of Jail Free Cards

Goya Bean Spokesmodel Ivanka Trump Pondering A Career In Politics

We Found The Kraken, This Entire Blog Post Is The Kraken

Angry Republicans Tell Michigan Senate They Saw Something Nasty In The Vote Shed

BREAKING: Ron Johnson Is A POS

Who's Bribing Whom? Let's Play Connect The Redaction Bars With Latest 'Bribe For Pardon Scheme'!

Team Liz Warren Or Team Betsy DeVos? Gee, That's A Stumper!

Pretty Sure We Know What Bill Barr's Up To Right Now, Because We're Not Morons

Georgia’s Gabriel Sterling Has Had Enough. But His Fellow Republicans Never Will.

Tyson Pork Plant Managers Lied About COVID-19, Guess They Need A Lawsuit Shield!

You Better Watch Out: Trump’s Having 12 Days Of COVID Celebrations At White House

Obama Sorry He Never Made Dolly Parton Queen For Life, Orders Biden FIX IT

The Most Beautiful Trophy Wives Of Billionaires! Tabs, Wed., Dec. 2, 2020

SD Gov Kristi Noem Bravely Sacrifices Own Grandma On Altar Of 2024 Election

Republican Senators Say 'Mean Tweets' Disqualify Biden Nominees. Make Your Own Joke, We're Fresh Out.

Bill Barr Just Saying Donald Trump Dead To Him Now

Dueling Jerks Perdue, Loeffler Get Their Racist On In Georgia Runoff

Non-Doktor Of Non-Rhetoric Josh Hawley Explains 'Marxists' And 'Capitalists' Are Same Jews We Mean People

Welcome To Melania's Final Christmas Hellhouse Of Spooky Frights!

Andrea Mitchell Just Wondering Why Joe Biden Waited So Long To Tell Us The Dog Ate His Foot

Georgia Senators Perdue And Loeffler Cling To Trump As He Circles The Drain

Oh Nothing, Just One Of Trump's Lawyers Calling For Murder Of Guy Who Kept Election Safe

Trump's TV Doctor Scott Atlas Resigns, Pleased With A Job Well Done

Rand Paul Wants Dr. Fauci To Apologize For Being So Goddamn Right All The Time

Transformed Wife: Saying Women Aren't Meant To Be Servants Mocks The Bible

Please Don’t Let ‘Fetch’ Or Trump 2024 Happen

There Are Lies, There Are Dumb Lies, And Then There's Kayleigh McEnany

Here’s Why The Pie Runs Out Before The Leftover Stuffing! Tabs, Tues., Dec. 1, 2020

Who Wants To Watch Rudy Giuliani Play Telephone With His Own Butt?

The Devil Went Down To Georgia, He Was Looking For An Election To Steal

End Times Guy Rick Wiles Hoping Trump Will Kill Us All By Firing Squad In Next Month

Trump Campaign Pays $3 Million To Get Biden 87 More Votes In Wisconsin

New GOP Reps Creating Super-Cool Anti-Squad For Cool Kids Called ‘Freedom Force,' Isn't That So Cool?

Charlie Kirk's Sex Appeal, Normal-Sized Face Somehow Weren't Enough To Get Youngs To Vote For Trump

Oregon Nurse On Leave After Telling TikTok How Bad She Is At Her Job

Trump Legal Team Trips Over Own Dick, Declares Flawless Victory

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis Gonna Give Everybody A Hippopotamus With Coronavirus For Christmas

It's The Schrödinger's Election Fraud Theory Of Sunday Show GOP Idiots!

Biden’s Secret Campaign Weapon? Trump’s Stupid Face At His Stupid Rallies.

New York Times Prints Maureen Dowd's Brother's Love Letter To Trump, Because We Don't Know Why

Let’s Review Trump’s Thanksgiving Weekend Temper Tantrums

Awesome Baby Names You Have Probably Never Heard Of! Tabs, Mon., Nov. 30, 2020

Shiny Normal Things Roundup

The Trumps Bug Out

A Little Bit Of Christmas

Buy Nothing Today! Unless You Really Want To Buy This!

Wholesome American Guts: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2020

The Wonkette Zoomsgiving Thingie Is Your Only Friend Now

Put Your Leftovers In Your Stomach, With Spicy Turkey And Squash Soup!

Eat This Leftover Stuffing Strata For Every Meal For The Rest Of Your Life Or Until It's Gone

Mamie Eisenhower Won The Cold War With This Lesbian-Soviet Hockey Rink Made Of Jello!

Betty Ford's Boozy Chocolate Cake

Buttercup Squash Pie To Bring To Thanksgiving Dinner

(PSSST *Grandma* Wonkette's Pineapple Orange Cranberry Sauce Is Better, Actually)

Y'all Are Eatin' Collard Greens Up In Here; Or, Vegetables Are Better With Bacon

Rush Limbaugh's 'Under The Sea' Salad Has Jello, Stuffed Olives, And Miracle Whip, No Oxycodone

Put Thanksgiving In Your Mouth With Grown-Up Baked Mac And Cheese, For Grown-Ups

Making Thanksgiving 'Monkey Bread' With Nancy Reagan

F*ck It, Let's Eat Pie: The Sarah Josepha Hale Story

Tabs, Wed., Nov. 25, 2020

May You Smile As Brightly As Trump Smiles When He Sh*ts On Santa Claus To A Seven-Year-Old Girl

Need A Cosmic Reset? Learn From The Ancient Babylonians, And Slap The King!

Celebrate Randy Quaid Day With Crazy Wizard Video You Didn't Know You Needed

Emily Murphy To Let Joe Biden Have His Precious Transition If You're All Going To Be SO MEAN ABOUT IT

Questions About College Prof's N-Word Jewish Covid Mind Control T-Shirt Already Answered By His T-Shirt

Wonkette Thankful For Creationist Bible Scientists Answering Difficult Questions Like 'Why Is Nose?'

Don’t Be A Jive Turkey This Thanksgiving. Stay Home.

20 Celebs Who Emancipated From Their Families! Tabs, Tues., Nov. 24, 2020

This Year, Enjoy Your Thanksgiving Safely Alone While Watching Questionable TV

Join The Mile High Club, With Jesus!

Judge Orders DOJ To GTFO Of Trump's Rape We Mean Defamation Case

Shiny Normal Things! What Is JOTUS Up To Today?

Listen To This Very SMRT Trump Lawyer, Georgia! Do Not Vote For The Republicans For Senate!

Carl Bernstein Making List, Checking Twice, Of Republican Traitors What Ain't Got No Balls

Meet The Putz With Chuck Todd

Bunch Of Goddamn Lunatics Walking Around Saying They're The President's Lawyers

Snack Box. Tabs, Mon., Nov. 23, 2020

Buffalo Anti-Lockdown Group Suggested Dressing Up As Slaves For Protest

Michigan Republicans Pop Open The Bubbly, Celebrate COVID-19, Perfectly Legitimate Elections At Trump Hotel

Tennessee Mayor Won't Issue A Mask Order Until The Holy Ghost Tells Him To

Let Us Not Forget To Be Very Mature About Junior's COVID-19 Diagnosis

Kyle Rittenhouse Bailed Out By The MyPillow Guy And The Kid From 'Silver Spoons'

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 CONCEDES NOTHING!

Happy Birthday, President-Elect Joe Biden, God Love Ya

Ivanka Trump Has HAD IT With You People And Your Partisan Demands For Imprisonment!

Kayleigh McEnany Does Not Take Questions From CNN 'Activists'

Appeals Court Protects First Amendment Right Of Therapists To Torture LGBTQ Children

Let's Read Devin Nunes's Latest Libelslander Complaint!

Geraldo Rivera Wants To Heal The Country, Trump's Ego, By Naming Covid Vaccine After Him

Shiny Normal Thing! Cory Booker & Friends Will Fix Decades Of Discrimination Against Black Farmers

Garbage Men Cry For Lack Of A Google Doodle To Celebrate 'International Men's Day'

Another Day, Another Dick-Kicking Or Three For Trump's Legal Team

Trump Appoints Bunch Of Idiots To Everything

Tucker Carlson Getting Cancel Cultured By Fellow MAGA Dopes

Jesus Guys Upset Dominion Voting Machines Stole Election AND Their Special Word

Tyson Managers (Allegedly) Ran Betting Pool On How Many Pork Plant Workers Would Get COVID-19

Trump Flying Michigan GOP Idiots To DC, Gonna Ask Them To Do Him A Favor Though

Suze Orman's 12 Tips to Fix Your Holiday Spending Habits! Tabs, Fri., Nov. 20, 2020

The 648,382 Funniest Parts Of Rudy's Press Conference, From 'Elite Strike Force' To 'Rudy Is Leaking'

Welcome Your Newest Federal Judge, It's This Batsh*t 33-Year-Old Who Will Live Forever

Actual Neurosurgeon Ben Carson Now Submitting To Medical Expertise Of The MyPillow Guy

Sen. Tom Cotton Demands Accurate Veneration Of Pilgrims, Just Like In Third Grade Pageant

Trump Idiots Secretly Passing Biden People Notes Under The Bleachers, SHHHH DON'T TELL

Rudy And The Gang Making Fake Judge's Orders Now, As A *Courtesy*

Whitmer Kidnap Plot Allegedly Included Literal Sweeps Week: Televised Mass Executions

Shiny Normal Thing! Joe Biden To Let Refugees Come To America Again!

Wayne County GOP Idiots Decide Detroit Black Votes Don't Matter After All, Want Do-Over

The Positively True Adventures Of The Alleged Kentucky QAnon Murdering Mom

Megyn Kelly Leaving New York To Seek Out Whiter Pastures

Celebrities Who Married Totally Normal People! Tabs, Thurs., Nov. 19, 2020

Kayleigh McEnany Calls Public Health Measures 'Orwellian', TWO MINUTE HATE!

Trump So Mad Biden Gonna Get Credit For Curing Virus Trump Gave America

Trump Ponies Up For Recount In Wisconsin, But Only The Black Parts

Trumpy Smeglump Charlie Kirk Brings Early Holiday Victim Game, Says 'Left' Hates Thanksgiving

Republicans Sue Nevada For Tort Of 'But Tucker Carlson Says Trump Won'

Meet Ned. Ned And 300 Of His Badass Detroit Friends Saved Democracy From Trump Last Night.

Shiny Normal Thing! Senate Blocks Goldbug Loony Judy Shelton Nomination To Federal Reserve

Trump Fires Guy Who Made 2020 Election Too Hard To Steal. That's It, That's The Headline.

Georgia's Olivia Pearson Arrested For Helping Black People Vote. Again.

Texas Inmates Moving Bodies To Morgue Trailers, And ​That's How The Pandemic's Going

40 Trashy Tips Left By Rude Customers! Tabs, Wed., Nov. 18, 2020

What Are All These GOP Senators Congratulating Kamala Harris For?

Lindsey Graham Crimetime Afternoon Update: THERE WERE WITNESSES.

Judge Tells Acting Chad To Go Hang

LIVEBLOG: Rudy Giuliani Brings The Crazy To A Federal Court In Pennsylvania

Joe Biden And Washington Post Agree: Time For Scott Atlas To STFU, GTFO

Aryan Mountain Steed Madison Cawthorn Has Thoughts On Jews. Oy Vey.

Are We *Arguing* About Canceling Student Debt? Really? Well I Think We Should Quit!

Guess Who's Coming To A Courtroom In Pennsylvania To F*ck Sh*t Up!

Trump Just Kicking Around The Idea Of Bombing Iran

A Portrait Of Cowardly GOP Sniveling To Trump, In Three Acts

Megyn Kelly Thinks Only Reason People Think She's Racist Is Because She's White

We Think We Found One Of Those Election Fraud Crimes Trump And Bill Barr Keep Yapping About

15 Kitchen Redos You've Been Doing All Wrong, In Bed! Tabs, Tues., Nov. 17, 2020

Georgia GOP Secretary Of State Tells Congressman From 'Hee Haw' Where To Stick It

Courts Rule Trump Election Lawsuits Faker Than His Tan

Dr. Fauci Just Kindly, Gently Saying Time For Trump To GTFO

Candace Owens Just Wants To Know: Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

Fox News A Festival Of Batsh*t As Republicans Hide From Regular Sunday Shows

Relax, You Guys, Trump Just Put Rudy In Charge Of The Election Suits

Trump TV Doctor Scott Atlas Tells Michigan To 'Rise Up' Against Near-Kidnapping Victim Gretchen Whitmer

Barack Obama Still Believes America Better Than President Klan Robe

President Sore Loser Never Wanted This Crappy Job Anyway, So Screw You!

Proud Boys Spent Weekend Bludgeoning Reporters, Each Other

Trump Fans Say Trump Most Popular Loser Ever To Lose Presidency By Losing

Divorce Lawyers Tell About Their Ugliest Cases! Tabs, Mon., Nov. 16, 2020

Trump All 'I Concede NOTHING' And 'RIGGED ELECTION!' After Briefly Admitting Biden Won

Shed Brain Cells From The Comfort Of Your Own Hotel Room With The Marjorie Taylor Greene Covid-19 Workout!

Tucker Carlson Sorry For Accusing Living Woman Of Being Her Dead Husband

Republican Jim Oberweis Loses Election, Shows Up To Congressional Orientation Anyway

Deutsche Bank Wants YOU (To Pay For All Their Office Space Sitting Empty)

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is I VOTED

Time To Watch Trump's Coronavirus ... Just Kidding, We Don't Have To Anymore!

Lawyers Noping Out Of Trump's Pathetic Losing Election Cases? Blame 'Cancel Culture'!

Marjorie Taylor Greene Surrenders To COVID-19, Wears Mask Like A Loser Who Doesn’t Want To Die

Dear Justice Alito, Please Stop Whining, By A Doktor Of Rhetoric

It’s Official: Biden Flips Arizona, Martha McSally All Out Of Senate Seats To Lose To Democrats

Meet Martin Jenkins, New California Supreme Court Justice Who Won't Make You Want To Stab Out Your Eyes!

South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem Is A Terrible, Virus-Promoting Creep

President Sore Loser Hiding From Public, Ignoring Job He’s Lost

PENNSYLVANIA GAME-CHANGER ... Oh Wait, Nope, Joe Biden Still Won!

Rand Paul: Let’s All Celebrate Good Times With COVID-19!

STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND LEARN ABOUT VERY THE REAL VOTER FRAUDS THAT STOLE DONALD TRUMP'S FLAWLESS VICTORY

Project Veritas Wrote USPS Dude's 'Vote Fraud' Tale For Him. Oh, Does It Say *That*?

GOP Senators Pretty Sure Some Guy Named Joe Needs Intel Briefings, Not That He's President-Elect Or Anything

Where Are The Iconic 'Fixer Upper' Homes Now? Tabs, Fri., Nov. 13, 2020

Lauren Underwood Won Reelection So That's One More Shiny Nice Time Thing!

A Tale Of Two Kayleigh McEnanys, Both Of Whom Are Garbage A-Hole Liars

Coronavirus Went Away! Like Miracle! Oh, Stand By For Late-Breaking News.

Team Of Badasses: Biden Transition Teams Full Of People Who Are Actually Good At Stuff!

Look, Shiny Normal Thing! Joe Biden Picks Incredibly Competent, No-Drama Chief Of Staff

Trump Plans Streaming Network To Separate MAGA Rubes From Fox. And Their Money.

A Landslide Brought Him Down

Nazi Dude Hereby Claims 'The Proud Boys' For White Race And Future Of White Children

Ladies And Gentlemen, We Got Us A Georgia Recount!

How Petty Is President Whinyass's Coup? This Petty.

Affairs That Just Totally Ruined Celebrity Careers! Tabs, Thurs., Nov. 12, 2020

Here Is Your Kurt Vonnegut Armistice Day For A New, Non-Trumpy Era

White House Ready For Trump To Admit He Is Ginormous Loser So They Can GTFO

Trump's Dibs On Pennsylvania Dropkicked, Again, By Demon MATH

How Much Will ​President Cry Baby F**k Up Joe Biden’s Inauguration?

Look, Shiny Normal Thing! Joe Biden Planning 'Government Stuff' For Climate!

On One Hand, F*ck Howard Kurtz. On The Other Hand, F*ck Howard Kurtz.

Fake Billionaire Donald Trump Sets Up Post-Presidency GoFundMe PAC

USPS Worker Cries Vote Fraud, Recants, Recants Recantation. Must Be Project Veritas!

Doing Coups? Destroying Evidence? WTF Is Trump's Boy Band Of Idiots Up To?

Unknown Whistleblower Tells Laura Ingraham About Nevada Daylight Vote Heist That Definitely Happened!

Trump's Not Attempting A Coup. He Just Has Coup-Like Symptoms.

Supreme Court Takes Third Whack At Obamacare, Because F*ck It, Why Not

So We Can All Just Yell 'Fraud,' Right Mitch McConnell?

Attention Marco Rubio: That Is Not What Michael Flynn Did You F*cking Sh*tmouth

35+ Entitled Influencers Who Tried To Get Free Things Online! Tabs, Wed., Nov. 11, 2020

President-Elect Biden Not Surprised Trump And Pompeo Being Low-Rent Fascists, Just Disappointed

Just Mike Pompeo LOLing About The Incipient Coup, Because He Is Garbage

Kimberly Guilfoyle, Boyfriend Want To Run RNC (Into Ground)

Everybody Scared Ex-President Trump Will Leak Secrets To Our Enemies, Just Like Current President Trump

Look At This Shiny Normal Thing! Biden's Transition Team ... Doing Transition Stuff!

St. Louis Gunhumper Couple Suing Photographer Who *Somehow* Made Them Look Like Assholes

Keep Calm And Remember What Kind Of Clownass Idiots We're Dealing With

Bill Barr Conscripts DOJ In Trump's Bullsh*t Battle Against Math

My God, Biden's Coronavirus Task Force Is FULL OF DOCTORS

Kelly Loeffler, David Perdue Know Who Stole Georgia Election, And It Is GOP SOS Who Didn't Rig It

We Love This Song: Private Prison Stocks Drop After Biden Win

Is This Michele Bachmann Playing 'Bop It' With The Lord? Sure Why Not.

Looks Like NYPD Cop In Anti-Harassment Office Also Posted Racist Internet Rants. Oops!

These House Cats Can Perform All The Numbers From ‘Cats’! Tabs, Tues., Nov. 10, 2020

This Week's Sunday Show Rundown Is About WE WON!

Ben Carson, Who We Forgot Existed, Has COVID-19

Fired Guy Fires Guy

Matt Schlapp Saw Nevada Democrats In The Van Making Votes And One Of The Votes Looked At Him!

Fox News Idiots So Mad Trump Not Getting Credit For Coronavirus Vaccine He Didn't Create

Christian Prophets Who Predicted Trump Win Still Pretty Sure They Were Right

GOP Extends Post-Election Middle Finger Of Friendship

General Services Admin Puts Presidential Transition On Hold For Trump Temper Tantrum

The One Where These Dummies Hold A Press Conference At The Wrong Four Seasons

President Sore Loser Has One Last Parting Grift For His Supporters

Police Chief Who Shared Violent Online Fantasies Of Murdering Democrats No Longer Has Job

These A-Holes Just Can’t Stop Spreading Coronavirus

Real Stories Of People Who Really Messed Up At Work! Tabs, Mon., Nov. 9, 2020

Santorum: Trump Will Concede If Certain 'Conditions' Are Met, Probably Involving A Getaway Plane

This Is What A Mammal-American President Sounds Like

Ready Your Champagne And/Or Ice Cream Cones And Watch Biden's Acceptance Speech With Us!

QAnon People Still 'Trusting The Plan,' Mastering The Denial Stage Of The Grieving Process

Wingnuts Now Ready For Us To Throw Them In The Gulags, As We Have So Long Dreamed

Our Long National Nightmare Can Get F*cked

Shhhh Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is Finally Getting A Goddamn Night's Sleep!

Good Christ This Has Been Exhausting

Republicans *Just Can't Figure Out* Why Mail-In Votes Favor Joe Biden!

It Will Just Be Nice To Not Have To Look At Trump's Stupid Face Anymore

Let’s Get Stacey Abrams Her Nobel Prize, Please.

BOY, BYE! And Don't Even Think About Swiping The White House China.

Double Your Georgia Senate Runoff, Double Your Fun!

OK An Actual Friday Election Results Liveblog Because We Wouldn't Wanna Mess With Last One's Perfection

Welcome Back To The Math Channel! Election Livebl ... OH WE WON!

Steve Bannon Down To Behead Dr. Fauci And Steal The Election

This Fashion Influencer Dog Is The Inspiration We All Need! Tabs, Fri., Nov. 6, 2020

Forget Faithless Electors, That Sh*t Is Not Happening

Mitch McConnell Thinks He's Boss Of Joe Biden

People Who Profit Off Cash Bail So Happy California Preserved 'Constitutional Right' To Cash Bail

Unfair! Arizona Trumpy Mob Deprived Of Inalienable Right To Demand All Votes Count!

Very Good Lawyer Rudy Giuliani Will Save Trump From All These Meddlesome Vote Counters!

Can We PLEASE Close The Deal Today? Election Results Liveblog, Day Three!

QAnoners Figure It Out: Biden's Lead Just Sting Operation To Catch Dems Doing Vote Crimes

GOP Floods Black Facebook With Absolute Sh*t

Unfair! Michigan Trumpy Mob Deprived Of Inalienable Right To Stop Vote Count!

The Worst Helicopter Parents Ever! Tabs, Thurs., Nov. 5, 2020

A Comforting End Of Day Post Consisting Of Some Words In An Order

Postal Service Didn't Look For All The Ballots, Because It Didn't Wanna

Media, Please Stop Believing Everything The Cops Tell You

Refresh This Post Every Five Seconds. Election Live Updates, Day Two!

Hey, Some Democrats We Like Won Their Races Last Night! Hooray!

Morning After The Election: What Do We Know? Do We Know Things? Let's Find Out!

Senate Recap: We're F**ked.

Why Recycling Is Killing Us All. Tabs, Wed., Nov. 4, 2020

Could It Be ... Your LAST TRUMP LIVEBLOOG ... EVER?

Judge Orders Post Office To Get Off Its Ass And Find Mail-In Ballots, Now, Vite, NO, NOW.

Wonkette Movie Night: Wait For Election Results Without Looking At Chuck Todd’s Stupid Face

IRS Just Not Bothering To Audit Rich People At All Now

Trump Really Scared Of Jail If He Loses, So Confirm His Fears And MAKE HIM LOSE

Let’s Join Ayanna Pressley In Dancing Trump’s Ass Out Of Office

Courts Toss Texas Drive-Through Case Like Jar Of Salsa From New York City

Tired Sad Low-Energy Authoritarian Loser President Is Tired

Deborah Birx All Out Of Fu*ks To Give

Trump Supporters Finally Social Distancing ... From Friends, Relatives Who Think They’re Assholes

Apostle Guy Explains How Clinton Voters Did COVID-19

Obama Finishes Up By Making Fun Of Crowd Sizes ... At Trump's Childhood Birthday Parties

PSA: Don’t Quote Adolf Hitler In Your Police Training Materials

How To Lose A Guy In Just One, Important Day! Tabs, Tues., Nov. 3, 2020

It's Election Eve. NO BEDWETTING, PLEASE!

Hannity Poll Guy Has Most Perfect Polls, Will Scream VOTER FRAUD! Just In Case He's Wrong

If It's Monday, Here's Your Pre-Election Day Trump Idiot Sunday Show Roundup!

GOP Fully Owns Whatever Trump’s Thugs Do Next

Guy Who Wanted To Kidnap Gov. Gretchen Whitmer Over COVID Orders Scared Of Getting COVID In Jail

Hero Philly Cops Briefly Hug Child After Viciously Tormenting Him, His Family

Trump Assures Florida Superspreader Crowd He'll Fire Dr. Fauci After The Election

North Carolina Cops Pepper-Spray Voting Rights Marchers, Because It's Still 1965, Apparently

Trump LOUDLY ANNOUNCES Plan To Steal Election, Declare Victory, Build Wall

Doctored Video Makes It Look Like Joe Biden Can't Tell Minnesota And Florida Apart, Ha Ha!

Kelly Loeffler Not Familiar With So-Called 'Access Hollywood' Tape, Grab Them By The Who What Now?

Georgia Democratic Rally Moved To Zoom, Where Trump-Supporting Militia Can't Hurt Anyone

Trump’s Closing Argument In Michigan: The Squad Sucks, COVID-19 Not So Bad

15 Terrible Tales Of Entitlement! Tabs, Nov. 2, 2020

We Love The Smell Of Nice Things In The Morning

Ladies! Lindsey Graham Says You Can Do Anything, Long As You Do It As A Stepford Wife

​Texas Republicans Just Can't Stop Ratf*cking The Election

The Fakest ‘Fake Melania’ Is Still The One Trump Married

Enjoy Your Socially Distant, Razor-Blade Free Halloween At Home!

Armed Trump Supporters Attempt To Road Rage Biden Campaign Out Of Texas

Self-Proclaimed 'Proud Boy' Threatened To Bomb North Dakota Polling Station

Christian Lady Worried About Witches, Christian Witches And Christians Who Don't Know They Are Witches

Wonkette's Top 10 Welcomes You ... TO HELLLLL

Idaho Legislators Make Pro-Virus Video In Stupid-Spreader Event

Can't Follow Bannon, Giuliani's Bizarre, Made-Up JOE BIDEN CORRUPTION China Plot? Here, Try Some Crack!

Neo-Nazis Arrested For Stalking Wrong Family In Wrong House

Conservatives Know What Censorship Is, And It Is People Not Reading Their Tweets

Coward GOP Senators Just Wussing Out Of Debates Right And ... Farther Right

House Oversight Committee All Up In HHS's $300 Million 'Love Me, Love My Ronas' PSA Campaign

Junior: COVID Deaths Are 'Almost Nothing', So That's On-Brand

Nice Justice Department You Got Here, Shame If Trump And Billy Barr Happened To It

Corey Lewandowski, Never Go Full 'Work Sets You Free'

Rudy Giuliani Gonna Put @Jack IN JAIL For Censoring His Bullsh*t Russian Hunter Biden Propaganda!

Texas's Biggest County Tries Crazy Plan: Make It Easy For People To Vote. People Are Voting Like Crazy!

30+ Ridiculous Instagram Editing Fails That Exposed Fake Pictures! Tabs, Fri., Oct. 30, 2020

Wonkette Resigns From Wonkette For All This Wonkette Censorship Of Wonkette By Wonkette

UPS Found Tucker's Missing Package. Haha, We Said 'Tucker's Missing Package'

Jerry Falwell Jr. Suing Liberty University For ... Not Humiliating Him Enough Already Is Our Guess

Can't Click A Wonkette Link? We Know. It's Your Adblocker.

Unemployment Still Terrible, Let's Re-elect Hoover! Or Trump, Same Deal.

Love It When The Director Of National Intelligence Just Literally Makes Sh*t Up

If SCOTUS Doesn't Steal This Election, They've Got Plans For The Next One

Dilbert Guy Unclear On Whether Slavery Is Illegal In United States Of America

Oh Dear, Jon Ossoff Debate Did Not Go 'Well' For Georgia Sen. David Perdue

Ron Johnson's Nickname For His Penis Is 'Hot Dish.' This Is A Lie But Very Important To Retweet

Oath Keeper Stewart Rhodes Standing By To Defend Donald Trump From Democracy

Our Tucker Carlson Has Fallen Victim To A Shipping Caper!

Wedding Proposals That Went All Wrong! Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 29, 2020

Your Boyfriend Hot Miles Is 'Anonymous,' And Now You Must Dump Him

Do We Finally Have Enough To Make A Negligent Homicide Charge Against Jared Kushner Stick?

Obama: OF COURSE Dictators Want Trump To Win, He's Their Very Own Remote-Controlled Idiot!

2020: It's Hot! In The Hot Tub! And Everywhere Else On Earth!

Mad Old Flynn Judge Emmet Sullivan Tells Postmaster General To Go Cut Him A Switch

Hogan Gidley Won’t Get Into ‘Semantics’ Over Whether Trump Is ‘Ending’ COVID-19 Or Spreading It

President McGrifterson Making Bank Off Of Uncle Sam

RUDY! GIULIANI! WILL! NOT! HAVE! KENNEDY! DEFAME! HIM! LIKE! THIS! ON! FOX! BUSINESS! HE! IS! SO! MAD! NOW!

Oh No The Trump Campaign Got Hacked How Terrible

Trump Traps Thousands Of Freezing Nebraska Supporters In On-The-Nose Metaphor

South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem Very Proud Of State's 'Republican Leadership,' Truly Massive Infection Rate

Trump Delivers Gift Of Stochastic Terrorism To Gretchen Whitmer In Lansing, Michigan

Mean Judge Says Calling Ladies Too Ugly To Rape Somehow NOT Part Of Trump's 'Official' Duties

No Stimulus Before Election. That's Not Important, Is It?

The Top 10 Ways Hunter Biden Is Very Bad, Wonkette Reluctantly Admits

Mom Belly Keeps Growing, Doctor Sees Scan And Calls Cops! Tabs, Wed., Oct. 28, 2020

Hawaii Sen. Brian Schatz Declares War On Mitch McConnell So We'll Call That A Nice Time

Oh Brett Kavanaugh Can't WAIT To Steal This Election For Whoever Paid Off His Debts

Here's Barack Obama Clowning On Trump Again, Because You're Into That Type Thing

As Of Probably Right Now, Drop Off Your Absentee Ballot, Don't Mail It

Oh Did You Hear Biden Thought Trump Was George Bush, Oh Did You Know It's An Entire Lie?

And On His 468,975th Tweet Of The Day, The President Begged Us To Change Our Votes

Coronavirus Almost Gone (From Trump's Brain)

Laura Ingraham Just Fine With You Dying For Her New Coronavirus Overlords

Send This Post To The Next Person Who Says Trump Is 'Doing Something' About Child Sex Trafficking

Trump’s Biggest Nightmare Comes True: Americans Are Voting.

They Did It. In Seven Days, It's Our Turn.

These Halloween Costumes Will Wow Your Children’s Friends On Zoom! Tabs, Tues., Oct. 27, 2020

Not Even Putin Buying BS Hunter Biden Email Rumors He Probably Helped Start

Poll Porn: The White House Fake News Banana Peel Edition

Chief Of Staff Mark Meadows Unveils New White House COVID-19 Strategy: If You Can't Beat It, Join It!

Ohio Woman Tried To Kidnap Governor, Thinks She Is Real Ohio Governor, Seems Legit

Trump Pretty Sure Trump-Supporting Company Rigged Pennsylvania Against Him

Jared Kushner: If Black People Weren’t So Shiftless, They’d Appreciate All Trump Has Done For Them

Chile Votes To Reject Constitution Of Brutal Dictator And Trump GOP Icon Augusto Pinochet

Trump Spreads Hate With Extra Helpings Of Coronavirus Everywhere He Goes

GOP's BUT HIS EMAILS Bombshell Fails To Detonate

'Essential Worker' Mike Pence Maybe Giving Everybody Coronavirus, So That's Happening

Bam! Rush Limbaugh Totally Cured Of Stage 4 Lung Cancer By Trump-Loving Preacher!

Projector-In-Chief Pretty Sure Doctors Inflating COVID-19 Numbers Just To Get Rich And Famous

Mitch McConnell Sounds Like Actual Cartoon Villain Describing Amy Coney Barrett's Confirmation

You Wanna Watch Obama Read Trump For Filth? Sure You Do.

The Moments That Destroyed Short Marriages! Tabs, Mon., Oct. 26, 2020

Relax! It's the Return Of Nice Things!

HHS Official’s Foolproof Plan To Have Mall Santas Promote Vaccines Somehow Falls Apart

Interested In Some Uncritically Presented, BS GOP Talking Points?The New York Times Can Help!

James Randi Outed Some Truly Heinous Frauds, And For That We Should All Be Grateful

Javanka To Sue Over Accurate Billboards Suggesting They DGAF About People Dying

GOP Rep Accuses Wife Of Witchcraft

Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Is Baby It's Cold Outside!

Fox News Legal Analyst Worries Deep State Stoled His Wifi

You Weren't Crazy: Rightwing Agitator Shot Up Minneapolis Police Precinct In May, And He Is Under Arrest

Snappy Debate Reactions To Stupid Debate

Supreme Court Rules Pennsylvania Can Vote ... And Here's Why That's Bad, Actually

Pretty Much All You Need To Know About Trump's Sad Loser 'Tony Bobulinski' Hail Mary Pass

Even $15 An Hour Isn't A Living Wage Anymore In The United States

The 4264 Stupidest Moments In The Final Trump Biden Debate

Who Wanna Watch MSNBC's Hallie Jackson Dick-Punch Hogan Gidley?

Strip Club Owner 'Disappointed' to Learn Dancers Have Labor Rights

These Photos Will Definitely Make You Question If Time Travelers Really Do Exist! Tabs, Fri., Oct. 23, 2020

Cover Your Eyes! And Your Ears! Just Watch The Trump Biden Debate Through This Here Liveblog!

When Is The Debate Tonight? Where Can You Watch The Debate? WHY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY?

Deep State Hard At Work Protecting Free And Fair Elections. No, We Mean It!

Trump Releases '60 Minutes' Blooper Reel, Declares Flawless Victory

Barack Obama Reminds America What Presidenting Looks And Sounds Like

Cat Got Amy Coney Barrett's Tongue On Whether We Could Execute Women For Having Abortions

USPS Pulls All Postal Cops Off Streets Before Election, Because Reasons

DNI Ratcliffe's Press Conference Yesterday Was Clown-Ass Waste Of Time Even For DNI Ratcliffe

Franklin Graham Tells The Pope How To Catholic

Trump Goons Bray For Wray's Head After FBI Director Fails To Take Out Joe Biden

Church Of Latter-Day Saints Voters Biden-Curious

Does Rudy Giuliani Also Pull His Pants Down All The Way To Pee?

American Hero Mitt Romney Bravely Casts Presidential Vote For Nunya Business

Trump Gonna End 'Anarchy' By Cutting Health Care During Pandemic. Take That, Antifa!

Sell Your House Fast For Cash. Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 22, 2020

Rudy Giuliani, PUT DOWN YOUR CHRAM!

House GOP Knows Who The Public-Trust Abuser Is, And It's Joe Biden Taking A Train

Turns Out Donald Trump Is Happy To Pay His Taxes. In China.

WH Chief Of Staff, Federal Judge Agree: President's Tweets Bullsh*t, Please Ignore

Boldly Striding Into 1998, Pope Francis Supports Civil Unions For Gays

Judge Rules Breonna Taylor Grand Jury Can Let Everyone Know How Bad AG Daniel Cameron Sucks

We Stole All The Babies

We Are Worried Lindsey Graham Still Doesn't Understand How Much We Hate Him

Trump Campaign Broke As A Joke, But They've Got Those Boat Parades!

Ohio Kids Watch PragerU Videos, Get Extra Credit For High School, Ruined For College

Trump Has No Regrets, No Remorse Over His Piss-Poor COVID-19 Response

Illinois, Michigan Send Old Marijuana Convictions Up In Smoke

Trump Storms Out Of ‘60 Minutes’ Interview Because ... Oh, Who Gives A Crap Anymore?

Rudy Giuliani: Americans Deserve To Hear My Easily Debunked Russian Spy Lies!

Trump Begs Bill Barr To Do Him A Favor Though

30 Wedding Photos That Went Horribly Wrong! Tabs, Wed., Oct. 21, 2020

Kamala Harris, It Is Your Birthday!

Mitch McConnell Just Might Have Some Lint From His Pockets For COVID-19 Relief

Trump Judges Pretty Sure Abortion In Kentucky Is Illegal

Former Spies Agree: OF COURSE 'But Hunter Biden's Emails!' Is A Russian Op, You Morons

Donald Trump Calls Fauci Idiot, Explains He Loves Fauci Whole Lot, For A Useless Idiot

Tiffany Trump: My Dad Loves The Gays Almost As Much As He Does Me!

Jeffrey Toobin, Put Your Pants On And GET OUT

LA County ​Ballot Drop Box Set On Fire, By Communists Probably, Why Not

Trump Dumps COVID-19 At Double-Header Superspreader Rallies In Arizona

Inconsolable Trump Campaign Can't Stop WHIIIIIIINING That Thursday's Debate Is UNFAAAAAAAAAIR!

Virginia Military Institute Professor Wows Students With Moving Tales Of Her KKK Past

Happy Halloween! Your Chocolate Is Probably Harvested By Child Slaves

Why Non-Parents Always Buy The Most Annoying Gifts For Your Kids. Tabs, Tues., Oct. 20, 2020

TFW Even Fox News Won't Swallow Your Senile Russian Disinfo Bullsh*t

White House TV Radiologist Leads Nation Toward Miraculous Quarter Million Dead From Coronavirus

Weird Dilbert Guy Thinks ‘Shy’ Trump Voters Are Pulling Election Day Practical Joke

It's A GOP Clown Car Sunday!

Joe Biden Made Actual Profit Selling House, And Eric Trump Is STUMPED

Grandmother Seeks Justice For Child Born In Prison Toilet Bowl

Sorry, No Lifeboats For Cowardly Republicans Fleeing Sinking S.S. Trump

Rudy And The Colludy Crew Freshen Up Their Biden Smear With Q-Themed Pedophilia Allegations

Trump Claims Lifelong Catholic Joe Biden Will Steal Christmas

Yes, We’re Gonna ‘86’ The MFer. WITH VOTES.

Federal Judge Thwarts Trump Plan To Starve 700,000 Americans Mid-Pandemic

Professional Liar Kayleigh McEnany Can’t Spread Russian Disinfo On Twitter, Is Oppressed

Trump Does Fundraiser With Beach Boy Everyone Hates, Good Ones Hang Their Heads In Shame

President Pandemic Continues Cross-Country Covid-Palooza Tour

Expensive Houses That Just Won't Sell! Tabs, Mon., Oct. 19, 2020

Four More Senate Races That Might Not Be Nail-Biters

Does Trump Actually WANT His Followers To Kidnap Gretchen Whitmer?

How Are Republicans Trying To Ratf*ck The Election? Let Us Count The Ways

Georgia Senator David Perdue Too Dumb, Racist To Say ‘Kamala’ Without Tongue Falling Out

Trump Definitely Announcing Not-Dead JFK Jr. As His Running Mate Today, Say Qanon Followers

Michigan Militia Terrorists Were Gonna Kidnap Gretchen Whitmer In A PT Cruiser, Probably

Forced Birth Group Super Mad Facebook Won't Let Them Tell Ridiculous Lies

Your Weekly Top Ten Is A Sleepy Cat Bagel

An Anti-Choice Lady Made A Sitcom And It Is Like A D&C For Your Brain

No Collusion! No Collusion! You Are The Laughably Obvious Collusion With Russia To Ratf*ck Another Election!

Why Did Democrats Make This NC Republican Assault A Poll Worker?

What Does Joni Ernst Have To Do With The Price Of Soybeans In Iowa?

Donald Trump STILL Telling People Not To Wear Masks. Why? We Have No F*cking Clue

Trump Town Hall: Well, All That Happened!

Trump Advisor Compares Joe Biden To Well-Known Villain ... Mister Rogers​

Montana Newspaper Sure Sorry It Endorsed Bundy-Hugging Wackaloon For State Office

Forced Birth Fetishists Now Also Want To Force Some Pepper Spray In Your Face

Trump Willing To Concede Maaaybe Jesus More Famous Than He Is

Pelosi, Mnuchin Cite Progress In Stimulus Talks, While ... Just Kidding

Dianne Feinstein Can’t Thank Lindsey Graham Enough For Such A Thorough, Professional Ass Whooping

The Pioneer Woman Has Been Feeding Us LIES! Tabs, Fri., Oct. 16, 2020

Obama Does Pod Save America, Doesn't Even Admit He Did Obamagate, Which Is The Biggest Crime

Trump's Econ Team Warned Billionaires About Coronavirus Economy While Telling You Everything Was GRRRRREAT!

Quaint Sexting Scandal Turns To Flaming Wreckage As QAnon News Anchor Self-Destructs

White House Gung-Ho On Herd Mentality For COVID-19

Fox News Idiot Knows Kamala Harris, Amy Klobuchar Only So Mean To Amy Coney Barrett 'Cause They're Jealous

Weep, Weep (Don't Weep) For The Poor (Not Poor) White Supremacists (Definitely White Supremacists)!

Trump's Favorite 'Jesus Will Make You Rich' Lady Says No One Will Love You If You Wear A Mask

Turns Out It's Easier To Raise Money When Your Candidate Isn't A Steaming Pile Of Hot Garbage

MSNBC Hosts Agree: F*ck NBC News And Its Dumb Trump Town Hall

Donald Trump Up To His Small Penis In Fake 'Hunter Biden's' Computer

Amy Coney Barrett Won’t Engage In ‘Hypotheticals’ About Trump Being Trump

Constitutional Originalist Marsha Blackburn Still Insists On Voting, Owning Property

32 Photobombs That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud! Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 15, 2020

Watch Rudy Giuliani Pull This HILARIOUS DISINFORMATION Out Of His Hat!

Trump Unmasking Probe Goes Limp, Like Every Other Attempt To Screw This Election

Hey Remember Amy Cooper? Turns Out She's Worse Than Anyone Knew

Trump Courts Suburban Women With Seemingly Preferable Offer To Leave Before The Lights Are On

If Justice Roberts Kills The Census, He Should Get Some New Coworkers

YouTube Unsure How To Gracefully Step Out Of QAnon Quagmire

Yeah, That Pro-Trump Black Voter's Twitter Account Is Probably Fake

How Can Amy Coney Barrett F*ck It Up Today? Liveblogging Day Three!

Did Joe Biden Kill Seal Team 6 And Let Bin Laden Live? Donald Trump Says Sure, Why Not

They Were Famous In The '70s. This Is Them Now! Tabs, Wed., Oct. 14, 2020

Trump Needs To Stop His Jim Jones Coronavirus Rallies

You'll NEVER GUESS What The Anti-Abortion & Stem Cells Crowd Thinks Of The President's Stem Cell Smoothie!

Any OTHER Dem Governors You Assholes Want To Kidnap For Trump?

Voter Suppression Fest 2020 Kicks Off In Georgia

Poll Porn: The 'Americans Love Horndogs, Hate Waffles' Edition

Amy McGrath Stares Into Abyss Where Mitch McConnell’s Soul Should Be

How Many People Will Senate GOP Infect With COVID-19 To Confirm Amy Coney Barrett?

Amy Klobuchar Sets Tone For Amy Coney Barrett Hearings, By Beating Everyone's Ass

Amy Coney Barrett, Day Two: Liveblogging Our Descent Into Gilead!

Here’s The Safest Way To Take A Selfie With Bigfoot. Tabs, Tues., Oct.13, 2020

No One Cares About Columbus Day Anymore

Facebook Bans Holocaust Denial. Zuck Can Haz Cookie Now?

Dumbest Failson Eric Trump Comes To The Sunday Shows!

Michigan GOP Senate Candidate Had So Much Fun Losing In 2018, He’s Back For More!

California GOP Just Putting Up Fake Ballot Drop Boxes Everywhere, Totally Normal

House Republicans About To Get Their Asses Beat Biden-Style

Democrats Rain On Mitch McConnell's Parade. With Blue Wave Money!

Trump Pretty Sure Kamala Harris Some Kind Of Monster Movie Monster

Amy Coney Barrett Ready To Curse Senate Like She Cursed Rose Garden, ALLEGEDLY

COVID-Spreader-In-Chief Ready To Make America Sick Again

Dr. Fauci Would Appreciate Trump Leaving His Name Out Of Campaign Ads

GOP: Biden Can’t Pack Courts We Spent All This Time Packing For Ourselves!

'Handmaid's Tale' Cometh! Hatewatching Amy Coney Barrett's Confirmation Hearings, Day One!

How Much Is That Friendship Bracelet Your BFF Gave You Really Worth? Tabs, Mon., Oct. 12, 2020

Pinkerton Guard Charged In Shooting Wingnuts Tried To Pin On Anarchists. Did We Time Travel?

Seven Senate Races You Won't Have To Stay Up Late To Call

Were You Really Dumb Enough To Believe Trump Would ‘Drain The Swamp’?

Maybe Attempted Whitmer Kidnappers Were Just Trying Throw Her A Surprise Party, Huh?

Here's What Banning QAnon From Facebook Will Do ... And What It's Probably Too Late To Do

Federal Judge Halts Ohio Voter Suppression Scheme

Lindsey Graham: Black People Totally Welcome In South Carolina, So Long As They're Conservative

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Will Bedeck You With Flowers!

Now Is The Time For All Good Wonks To Open Their Wallets, It's Friday!

Trump's Tax Returns: The 'Not Staying In Vegas' Edition

Trump's Favorite Faith Healing School Fails To Faith Heal Itself Of COVID-19

President Flopsweat WANT STIMMY NOW!

Drugged-Up Trump Ready To Do All The Rallies

Why Won't Gretchen Whitmer Thank Trump For Siccing His Lunatic Militias On Her?

Simmer Down, Gippers. We Survived Mueller. You'll Survive John Durham.

Attempted Whitmer Kidnappers Were Gun-Rally-Attending Boogaloo Boys

Trump's Last-Minute Drug Card Bribe For Seniors Every Bit As Well Planned As You'd Think

Easy Recipe For Leftover Mashed Potatoes! Tabs, Fri., Oct. 9, 2020

If Trump Campaign Wants To Set Fire To Pile Of Cash In The Sun Belt, We Ain't Mad About It

Patriot Grifter WALL Guy Brian Kolfage Building Army Of Death-Threating Trolls

Militia Busted Following Trump's 'Liberate Michigan' Order ... By Plotting To Kidnap Gov. Gretchen Whitmer

Alex Azar Chats Up 'Herd Immunity' Advocates, Insists Coronavirus Policy Not 'Let God Sort 'Em Out'

Sesame Street To Give Tucker Carlson Another Anti-Racism Special To Cry About

Trump Refuses To Debate If He Can't Hack Covid Droplets On Joe Biden

Former CDC Chief Would Like Current CDC Chief To FIX HIS SH*T

Donald Trump Will Put You In A Certified Preowned COVID Cure For $99.95

Born Into Billions: Kevin Bacon's Wife Is One Of The Richest Heiresses In America! Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 8, 2020

Watch The VP Debate Through Wonkette's Liveblog Like With That Box Thingie During A Solar Eclipse!

Mike Pence Works In COVID Hotspot, Swears On Trump's Honor He's Safe To Debate

Trump Retweets Story About Trump Fan Who Voter Frauded To See If Voter Fraud Is Real. Guess It Is!

Carly Fiorina: Trump Can’t Lead His Way Out Of A Paper Bag He Infected With COVID-19

IG Report: #SaveTheChildren My F*cking Ass, They Were All In On Caging The Babies

President Patient Zero Busy Mercy-Killing Last Shreds Of The Economy

Martha McSally Swings, Misses, Steps On Rake In Mark Kelly Debate

Voters Prefer Presidents Who Don’t Get Captured By Coronavirus

Joe Biden Gave One Hell Of A Gettysburg Speech

Live Updates: Trump Coronapocalypse, Day 6

Movie Scenes So Offensive The Only Option Was Cutting Them! Tabs, Wed., Oct. 7, 2020

James O'Keefe Did A Misleading Video Claiming Voter Fraud? That's Not Very 'Veritas' At All!

Joint Chiefs Just Chilling At Home After Exposure To Trump's Man Flu

Mike Pence Bitching About Plexiglass Debate Barriers, Because He Can Still See Kamala Harris That Way

Rudy Giuliani Isn't Looking That Awesome

White House Rapid Test Results Almost As Accurate As Fortune Teller Reading

Texas Cop Actually Charged Immediately With Crime For Killing Black Man

Old Commie Joe Gets To Hear Himself Think At Donald Trump-Less Town Hall

Bigmouth We Mean Breitbart Strikes Again

Did Donald Trump Tell A Tiny Little Fibette About His COVID Testing?

Live Updates: Trump Coronapocalypse, Day 5

White House Blocks FDA's Pesky Covid Vaccine Safety Standards For TOO SLOW

Super Serious GOP Shows Love For Dear Leader

The Maskless Marauder Returns To The White House, Takes Labored Breath Of Freedom

Super Serious GOP Shows Love For Dear Leader

The Maskless Marauder Returns To The White House, Takes Labored Breath Of Freedom

Pet Owners Are Sharing The Most Hilarious Revenge Signs! Tabs, Tues., Oct. 6, 2020

BREAKING: Wayne LaPierre May Have Made One Or Twelve Little Ooopsies On His Taxes

Trump Doctor On His Release: "THIS IS FINE!"

Trump Checking Out Of Walter Reed, Has Things To Do, People To Infect

Trump Kids Divided. Is The Old Man Demented, Or Just Crazy?

What? Kayleigh McEnany's Staff ALSO Has The COVID?

TABS! WONKETTE ONLY!

Ammon Bundy Told To Wear Mask At Football Game, Just Like Jewish People In Nazi Germany

Trump Camp Challenges Biden To Contract Coronavirus LIKE A MAN

Pence Is Going To Utah Because Fuck National Security Is Why

25ATMFA (25th Amendment The Mother Fucker Already)

Kayleigh McEnany Is The Latest Trumpworld COVID Catcher

'Gays Did Katrina' Pastor Got The COVID. Who's God Trying To Punish Now?

New York Times: Why Is Biden So ‘Cagey' About His Health That Trump Might’ve Compromised?

No One Should Put The Trump Family In Same Sentence With ‘Honor System’

COVID-19 Infected Senators Willing To Risk Lives To Confirm Barrett. Other People's Lives, That Is.

The Pandemically Incorrect Idiocy Of Jason Miller And Steve Cortes

Secret Service Agents Take Bullet From President

Will Trump Have Magically Recovered In Four Days And Be Released Today? It Is Still A Mystery!

Live Updates: Trump Coronapocalypse, Day 4

Donald Trump Strongest President Who Ever COVID-ed

Trump Reassures Fretful Nation He Can Still Write His Name With A Sharpie

20 Of The Longest Celebrity Marriages And Why They Lasted! Tabs, Mon., Oct. 5, 2020

Montana And Colorado Races Can Flip Senate. But Only If 'Mountain Time Zone' Is Real Thing

No, You Don’t Have To Feel Sorry For Donald Trump

Round-Up: They Never Promised Us A Rose Garden Massacre, But Here We Are

GOPers Now Taking COVID Seriously Following Trump's Diag— Ahhh, Who Are We Kidding?

Everything Totally Fine, Just Fine, Says Trump's Extremely Shifty Physician

Amy Coney Barrett’s SCOTUS Seat Heist Ceremony A COVID-19 Super Spreader Event

Blaming Trump For Getting COVID-19 Like Saying A Rape Victim Was Asking For It, Says Tucker Carlson

Wonkette's Top Ten Is A Karma Chameleon

But Why, WHY Would Donald Trump Endanger Himself, All Of Us? (Spoiler: No F*cking Idea)

17 Republicans Think It's Totally Fine That Their Colleague Is Getting QAnon Death Threats

The Case Of The Missing Ditch Ballots: A Kayleigh McEnany Mystery

September Jobs Report Shows Everything Perfectly Fine

Wohl And Burkman May Have To Do Their Hoaxing In Prison For The Next 12 Years

Texas Gov Greg Abbott Shuts Down County Ballot Drop-Off Sites, Because F*ck It, He Can

Trump Actually Just Having (Possibly Fake) 4D Chess Coronavirus, Supporters Say

Bob Murray Fought Mine Regs And Black Lung Benefits For Workers *THIS YEAR*, Wants Black Lung Benefits Now

Terrible People Are Being Terrible To Chrissy Teigen And John Legend Over Their Terrible Loss

Trump Won Two Online Polls, Therefore He Won The Debate, IT'S CALLED SCIENCE, ELECTION OVER!

Melania's #BeBest Campaign Against Christmas And Refugee Children​ Runs Aground

DHS Officials Advised To Be Nice When Talking About Kenosha Shooter, Who Had A Rough Day

No Virus No Virus

Pics Show There Are Two Types Of Girls In The World. Tabs, Fri., Oct. 2, 2020

Happy Birthday Jimmy Carter, The Actual #BeBest

So About President McDeals's $70 Million Tax Refund ...

Trump Campaign: WAAAAAAH DEBATES ONLY FAIR IF TRUMP GETS TO CHEAT WAAAAAAH!

Corporate Evildoers Beware: Katie Porter Has A Whiteboard And She's Not Afraid To Use It

Remember Two Nights Ago When Trump Said 'We Don't Know' What Amy Coney Barrett Thinks About Roe?

FBI Warns Boogaloo Extremists Also Standing By For Some Civil War, So There's That

Michele Bachmann Won't Let Commie Chinese Fill American Barns With Pre-Printed Fake Ballots

Trump-Loving, Mosque-Bombing Terrorists Planned Attacks In Multiple States, Say Feds

We're Beginning To See Why Brad Parscale Might Be Going Li'l Bit Bugf*ck

Did You Send Trump A Thank You Note For Your Trump Food Box From Donald Trump?

Media Finally Notices That Trump’s An Asshole At Debates

DNI John Ratcliffe Laps Ron Johnson In 'Shameless Sharing Of Russian Propaganda' Contest

Charles (Schumer) In Charge (Of US Senate)

Trump Going Full Asshole At The Debate Isn’t Going To Fix His Women Voter Problem

In 1676 A Possessed Nun Wrote A Message From The Devil. Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 1, 2020

How To Trump-Proof The Next Debate, For America's And His Own Safety

Trump So Sad Random Goons Not Allowed To Intimidate PA Voters

Trump Admin As Good At $300 Million Coronavirus Propaganda Campaign As Everything Else It Touches

We Are All 'Ruthie' From Frank Luntz's Focus Group, Calling Trump A 'Crackhead'

Republicans Patiently Waiting For President Proud Boy To Explain How Not Racist He is

The One Good Moment In Last Night's Debate, Except For When Biden Told Trump To STFU

Donald Trump Is Running Against America

Wonkette's Five Factchecks Of What The F*ck We Could Hear Him Lying

President Klan Robe Gives Shout Out To His Proud Boys

DNI John Ratcliffe Doesn't Like US Intel Assessments, Declassifies Russian One Instead

Georgia Voters Choosing Rev. Raphael Warnock Over Lady Who Compared Herself To Attila The Hun

20 Animals That Are Real And Dangerous! Tabs, Wed., Sept. 30, 2020

Biden's Words Vs. Trump's Urine: Your First Presidential Debate Liveblog!

Someone Please Make A Caper Movie About These Postal Workers Refusing To Ratf*ck The Mail

GOP Wants ‘Investigation’ Into Whoever Leaked President Broke Ass’s Tax Returns

Poll Porn: Americans Being Goddamn Grownups About Waiting For Votes To Be Counted

60 Minutes Takes Down Trump's Favorite WALL Builder, Like Worse Than Rio Grande Erosion Even

​Relax, Gays. Eric Trump Is Not One Of Us. (We Don't Think.)

Trump Loves Black People So Much He Wants To Spare Them Burden Of Ever Voting Against Him

No Russia In Trump's Tax Returns? Shut Your Mouth, Jim Jordan.

CDC Director Calls Trump's COVID-19 Advisor, Scott Atlas, Weak, Sad Poop

Trump Thinks Religious People Are Chumps. But They Think He's The Second Coming. Go Figure.

Ex-White House Doc Ronny Jackson Knows Who Is On Drugs And It Is LOOK OVER THERE

Colorado Police Holding Political Prisoners Like Common Third-World Autocracy, Totally Normal

Mollie Hemingway Pretty Sure Everybody Takes $70,000 Hairstyle Deduction On Their Taxes

Disturbing Images Caught by Trail Cams Will Give You the Creeps! Tabs, Tues., Sept. 29, 2020

There’s Nothing Funny About Brad Parscale Beating His Wife

Ex-Director Of Refugees Brags About Forcing Teens To Give Birth Against Their Will

Uncle Joe’s Gonna Flip Nebraska’s Second District On Trump’s Ass

Your Tiny Home Goes Back To The Great Depression

Looks Like Trump Paid Ivanka $747,622 To Consult Herself

GOP: Who Cares Trump’s A Tax Cheat When Hunter Biden’s Still At Large?

$300 Million For HHS COVID-19 Propaganda Ads With Dennis Quaid? This Is Fine.

Donald Trump Certain Joe Biden’s Gonna Lance Armstrong His Way To Debate Victory

Trump's War On TikTok Not Going Well

Brother, Can You Spare Two Literal Dimes For Donald Trump’s Tax Bill?

Brad Parscale Avoids Permanent Solution To Temporary Problem, Whew That Could Have Been TERRIBLE

Matt Lieberman Continues Family Business Of F**king Over Democrats

Trump Just Gonna Keep Having His Free-Range COVID-19 Fests Until Everyone’s Dead

Maid Cleaning House Flips When She Sees The Owner! Tabs, Mon., Sept. 28, 2020

Alaska's US Senate Surprisingly Close, Because Alaska Doesn't Do Predictable

Kyle Rittenhouse, Conservative America’s Teen Dream Killing Machine

GOP Already Being Extremely Ghoulish About Supreme Court Nomination

Who Had 'Brain-Eating Amoebas In Texas' On Their 2020 Bingo Card?

DeAnna Lorraine Knows 'The Masked Singer' Was Part Of This Whole Coronaplot ... Thing

Trump Bans Diversity Training In The Name of Diversity

Proud Boys To Terrorize Portland Today — Governor Declares State Of Emergency

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is I Don't Know, It Is Really Late At Night You Guys

NICE TIME! Judge Overturns Stupid Montana Law That Made It Harder For Native Americans To Vote

Post Office Undoes *Most Of* Louis DeJoy's F*ckery, We'll Take The Win

FBI Director Wray Testifies Truthfully About Elections, And Mark Meadows Is NOT HAVING IT

Georgia Ready To VTMFOA (Vote The Motherf**ker Out Already)

Judge, Fox Lawyers Agree: No 'Reasonable Person' Would Believe Tucker Carlson

Donald Trump Fixes Healthcare With $6.6 Billion Bribe To Seniors, Words

How Many Pennsylvania Ballots Can You Fit In A Trash Can? None, Really, But That Won't Stop Bill Barr's DOJ!

Method Actor Slam Poet Sarah Palin Does ... Thing

Kayleigh McEnany: Christ, What An Asshole

Florida Man Rick Scott Wants To Throw Away Your Absentee Ballot

Are We To Assume That The Right Now Thinks Ruby Ridge And Waco Were Justified?

Studio 54 Photos That Are No Longer Socially Acceptable! Tabs, Fri., Sept. 25, 2020

Click Here If You Hate Lindsey Graham's Guts!

Justice Department Is Melania's Personal Lawyer Too Now We Guess!

Normal Minnesotans Oddly Unreceptive To Random Weirdass QAnon Mailings

Kroger Store Demands Employees Replace BLM Buttons With Bland Corporate Wristbands

Why Bill Barr So Mad? Maybe Because John Durham Ain't Got SH*T For Him.

Tucker Carlson Knows Racism Isn't A Problem In America Because Black People Move Here

Kentucky Justice For Breonna Taylor: One Cop Charged With 'Whoopsie!'

Is 'Handmaid's Tale' Judge Literally ENDORSED BY GOD? These Wackjobs Think So!

NY Judge Making Eric Trump Keep Hot Subpoena Date With NY Attorney General

Still-Deranged Michele Bachmann Warns Biden Will Bring Communism To USA In First 100 Days

He Said It. He's A Fascist. Plan Accordingly.

America's Millionaires Are Fleeing — Should You? Tabs, Thurs., Sept. 24, 2020

Atlanta Exotic Dancers Shamelessly Objectify Voting In 'Get Your Booty To The Poll' PSA

Who Wants To Watch Dr. Fauci Sh*t On Rand Paul And Call Him A Bad Doctor?

Rachel Maddow Finds CDC Director Sh*tting Bed, And Floor, Some Walls, The Ceiling

Ron Johnson, Walking Simpson's 'You Tried' Gif, Releases Biden Ukraine Report

Trump Planning Literal Actual Fascist Takeover Of America, And Dipsh*t Don Jr. Gets To Help!

NRA Happy So Many Americans Buying 'Freedom Seeds.' Bullets. They Mean Bullets.

Mike Pence Pretty Sure Dear Leader's SCOTUS Pick Already Confirmed, BY DADDY TRUMP JESUS

Ivanka Trump, Bill Barr Promise $100 Million To Fight Human Trafficking, Win QAnon Votes

Donald Trump Can't Stop Going On About How Much He Loves Cops Beating Up Reporters

Jackie Kennedy Was A True Style Icon – But Her Shoes Hid An Intimate Secret! Tabs, Wed., Sept. 23, 2020

Who's A Craven, Soulless, Hypocritical GOP Senate Sh*theel? ALL OF THEM, KATIE

Trump Celebrates 200,000 Deaths By Spreading COVID Disinfo At Germapalooza MAGA Rally

Mail Delivery Started Sucking Right After Louis DeJoy Became Postmaster General

Robert Mueller Might Have Found A Trump-Russia Conspiracy, But He Was Scared

Come And Get Your Poll Porn

Pentagon Spent Coronavirus PPE Money On War Stuff Instead Of PPE

CIA Says Putin 'Probably' Personally Directing Biden Attacks. Sounds Like FBI And NSA Agree!

On Top Of Everything Else, How About A Nice Government Shutdown?

Is Amy Coney Barrett's Catholic Jesus Batsh*t Cult Literally 'The Handmaid's Tale'?

Kelly Loeffler Ad Reaches Out To Suburban Moms Who Love Attila The Hun

Trump CDC Issues New Coronavirus Guidance: DOY DOY DOY WE DUNNO

Monster-in-Law Horror Stories! Tabs, Tues., Sept. 22, 2020

His Gov't Job Was Informing Public About COVID-19. His Other Job Was Calling For Fauci To Be Executed.

GOP Would Hate For You To Think They're Not Craven POSes

There's A Close Senate Race In Mississippi. Yes, We Said Mississippi!

Uber For Evictions Is Peak 2020

Donald Trump Keepin' It Classy, As Always

Donald Trump Loves Puerto Rico. Or At Least The Puerto Ricans Currently Resident In Florida.

It's Time To Be Absolute Motherf*ckers

Just Bill Barr Unpersoning Some Entire Cities For Donald Trump

Big Pharma Declines To Bribe Seniors For Trump

Mark Kelly Could Be Just The Spaceman To Launch Mitch McConnell's SCOTUS Dreams Directly Into The Sun

Republicans Want To Hurt Us And We Are Not Obligated To Be Friends With Them

25 People Caught Twisting The Truth On The Internet! Tabs, Mon., Sept. 21, 2020

Lindsey Graham Wants Us To Use His Words Against Him

Murkowski Says She Won't Vote To Replace RBG Until After The Election, So There's That

Class Acts Wohl And Burkman Hysterically Scream At People Mourning Ginsburg's Death

Drink, Drink To RGB

We're Just Really, Really Going To Miss Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Of Course Trump And Mitch McConnell Can't Wait To Pick An RBG Replacement

Just Another Disgruntled Ex-White House Staffer Who Thinks Trump Ain’t S**t

Trump Rumored To Be On Hunt For New FBI Director To Confirm Every Wrong Thing He Believes

Wonkette's Top 10 Is What Now, Oh Right

Ruth Bader Ginsburg, 1933-GODDAMMIT.

Let’s Enjoy Some Epic Trump Flop Sweat!

Marsha Blackburn, Level Eighteen Constitution Understander!

It's Almost Never A Good Idea To Click On An Article About Van Morrison

Feds Just Curious About Maybe Using A Freakin’ HEAT RAY On DC Protesters

How Princeling Jared Kushner Saved Us All From The COVID, Or The Opposite Of That

Trump Gonna Make All The Kids As Stupid About History As Dinesh D'Souza

Joe Biden Slaps Trump Upside Head At His RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED CNN Town Hall

The Federalist Has An Argument About 'Cuties' And Gay 'Grooming', Stop Laughing, It's TERRIBLE.

Mark Levin: Black Lives Matter Wants To Topple Confederate Statues Just Like Confederacy ... Huh?

​Trump Will Save Country Christian Kroger Ladies From Wearing Mandatory Buttsex Rainbows On Their Bosoms!

Tenant Farming (But Make It Fashion)

Never Touch This When Staying In A Hotel Room! Tabs, Fri., Sept. 18, 2020

Post Office Was Gonna Mail Everybody Free Masks But Didn't Because Masks Are SCARY!

Trump's Covid Radiologist Joins Snowflake SLAPP Suit Hurt Feefees Club

We Need To Talk About How Trump Is Trying To Kill Us With 'Herd Mentality'

'Forced Hysterectomies? Well We Never,' Says ICE, As They Try To Deport The Women Before They Can Testify

Ron Johnson, Stop Trying To Make Burisma Happen. This Season's Story Is That Biden Is A Socialist BLM Antifa!

Bill Barr Is Out Of F*cking Control

'It Felt Like Tentacles:' Model Describes Being Forcibly Groped By Donald Trump

Delaware Republicans Chose This QAnon, Flat-Earther, Drug Dealer To Be Their Senate Latex Salesman

Here, Have Some Unhinged Batsh*t From President DearLeader McGoodWords

Alan Dershowitz Sues CNN For Playing His Own Words

Losing More Hair Than Usual? You're Not Alone! Tabs, Thurs., Sept. 17, 2020

SEPTEMBER SURPRISE! Trump Still About As Popular As Cat Vomit

HHS Loon Michael Caputo Taking Leave To Spend More Time With His Mental Health, If Any

Hey, Check Out This Totally Real ‘Democrat Voters Against Biden’ Group!

Bill Barr Being Lying Pigf*ck Again

SC Anti-Mask Protesters Think COVID-19 Wuz Fraaaamed

Charlie Kirk's 'Non-Profit' Pays American Teens To Staff Kremlin-Style Troll Farm. USA! USA!

Trump Dick-Punches Self Repeatedly While George Stephanopoulos Watches

No, Joe Biden Does Not In Fact Want To F**k Tha Police

Trump Loves The Troops! (The Russian Troops, Anyway!)

Some Small Justice For Breonna Taylor

You've Never Seen Luxury Like This On A Cruise Ship! Tabs, Wed., Sept. 16, 2020

Trump Gives Netanyahu Fake 'Key To White House' To Celebrate Fake Peace Deal. So That's On Brand!

WA GOP State Rep. Stars In One-Woman Performance Of 'The Exorcist'

Donald Trump: What Am Climate?

Michael Caputo Is Just The Tip Of The Bugf*ck Iceberg

We've Reached 'Forced Hysterectomies' Chapter Of Nazi Playbook

Courts Don't Have Time For Green Party's Bullsh*t

Senate's Dumbest Republican Schedules Russian Attack On Election For 'In About A Week'

GA Sen. David Perdue Might Have To Dump Trump Like A Bad Stock

A Significant Portion Of The American Public Has Gone Absolutely Bugf*ck

The Surefire Trick For Reheating Cold Coffee! Tabs, Tues., Sept. 15, 2020

Can Somebody Please Find Trump Idiot Michael Caputo's Pacifier?

Bumbling Slapstick Duo 'Burkman And Wohl' Stage Fake FBI Raid, Get Caught Almost Immediately

No, They Did Not 'Legalize Pedophilia' In California

Sunday Show Hosts Factchecked Trump Idiots In Real Time This Weekend, Like Common Journalists!

Bill Barr's 'Investigate The Investigators' Obamagate Drug Deal Just Lost Its Lead Investigator

Trump COVID-19 Jamborees Neither ‘Protests' Nor ‘Peaceful'

Florida Latinos Getting Hit Over Head With QAnon-sense

Georgia Cops Beat Up Black Guy For Reasons Police Union Will Probably Come Up With Later

President Streisand Effect's Ratf*cking Tweets Turn Into Helpful PSA On Mail-In Voting

Trump Campaign Confuses Black Churchgoers With Biden-Loving Rioters

Masks Are Demonic Ritual To Make People Compliant, Says Former Missouri GOP Hopeful

Another Day, Another Super-Stupid, Super-Spreader Trump Rally

Sheriff's Deputy Recommends Rightwing Militia Plant Knife On Anyone They Happen To Murder

President Mob Boss Vows ‘Retribution’ On Anarchists Who Eat Food Off Rich People’s Plates

If Your Indoor Cat Vomits (Do This Every Day). Tabs, Mon., Sept. 14, 2020

One Million Moms Are Very Mad About 'Fruit Bowls.' That Is Not A Euphemism.

Tom Cotton Running Unopposed Thanks To Good Ol' Ratf*ck Of Democratic Candidate

Susan Collins 'Very Concerned’ Maine Voters Will Notice Her Spine’s On The Back Of A Milk Carton

Confederate Treason Statue Escorted Off Premises Of Charlottesville County Court House

Ex-Colonel Involved In 1989 El Salvador Jesuit Murders Finally Going To Prison

QAnon Devotee Marjorie Taylor Greene's Challenger Dropped Out And That ... That's Not Good

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN

Is 'Saying Their Name' Some Sort Of Witchy Voodoo Hoodoo? Wingnut Says Yes!

Greg Gutfeld Is In Fear For His Life! Greg Gutfeld Is In Fear For His Life!

Turns Out Rudy's Been Colluding With Russian Spies All Along. Whaaaaaaat???

Wonkette STICK TO SPORTS!

Next CDC Coronavirus Recs Gonna Tell All Elementary Schools To Open Restaurants

Rightwing Militia Creeps Holding Reporters At Gunpoint In Oregon

Trump Crowns Himself New Winston Churchill At Michigan Superspreader Jamboree

Hate Preacher So Sad School Won't Let His Daughter Wear Homophobic Shirt To School

Trump Bragged To Bob Woodward About Letting Prince Bone Saw Get Away With Murder

How Are Trump A-Holes Lying About Election Hacking Intel? Here's A Clue!

Western USA Burning Like End Of World. Because Climate Change.

Things You Want To Reconsider Wearing On A Plane. Tabs, Fri., Sept. 11, 2020

Trump Thought Bob Woodward Would Be *Impressed* With Him. That's It, That's The Joke.

Dr. Phil Fails To Tell Woman Her Missing Daughter Was Not 'Tortured For Adrenochrome'

Was Trump Acting As POTUS When He Said E. Jean Carroll Not Hot Enough To Rape?

Denver Tried NOT Sending Cops To Shoot Everybody Who Called 911. And Then The Murders ... Did Not Begin!

Sounds Like Dipsh*t (Acting) DHS Chief Chad Wolf Covering Up 2020 Russia Election Attack In Real Time!

Trump Blows Off Debate Prep To Shoot The Sh*t With Larry Kudlow And Make Fun Of Biden's Stutter

Erick Erickson: Trump Lied About COVID To Protect The Liberals Who Wouldn't Have Believed Him

Donald Trump Wants Ted Cruz, Tom Cotton To Join Supremes

Nevada Shuts Down Trump’s Planned Maskless Moron Rallies. Sad!

Wonksplainer: Whar Corona Vaccine? – The Sequel!

Meet The Part-Time Assistant Professor Who Gets To Tell Fauci What To Do

Oh Nothing, Just Trump Calling Generals 'Pussies' And Spilling Nuclear State Secrets

Incredibly Rare Crossbreed Dogs That Are Breaking The Internet! Tabs, Thurs., Sept. 10, 2020

Mighta Been Nice To Have Trump On Tape Admitting He Was Lying About Coronavirus Back In February, BOB

Ben Sasse Has Idea: More Senate Slumber Parties, Less Democracy!

1,000 People In Georgia Voted Twice, Donald Trump So Proud

Black 7th Grader Busted For Criminal Possession Of Toy Gun In Own Home

Thom Tillis Staffer Helpfully Suggests Woman With Cancer Go Naked Or Something? Unclear.

Sturgis Motor-Bike Rally: Superspreader Event, Or SuperDUPERspreader Event?

OF COURSE Rachel Maddow Got The Michael Cohen Interview. OF COURSE.

GOP Convention Rager Wrecks Brand New Rose Garden, Trump Distracts Press By Wrecking America

Gender Reveal Party Creator Regrets Inspiring Idiots To Set Sh*t On Fire

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Lying For Donald Trump Again, This Time Off The Clock!

Rochester Police Chief Retires Because Y'all Being Really Prissy About The Man They Smothered

No Quid Pro Quo, But Did Michael Cohen Ask Jerry Falwell To Do Trump A Favor, Though?

People Can't Figure Out This Brain Test. Tabs, Wed., Sept. 9, 2020

Military Brass Doesn't Love Trump Saying All They Wanna Do Is Sh*t, F*ck And Fight

Mitch McConnell Can't Wait To Blame Democrats For Killing Crap Stimulus GOP Might Not Even Support

HOT NEW PETER STRZOK TEXT Says Trump Totally F-ing Compromised By Russia

Violent Trump Supporters Gather In Oregon For Stupid Bigot Convention

Oh No Who Spent All The Trump Campaign Money It's A Mystery For Sure

Postmaster General Louis DeJoy May Have Done A Tiny Bit Of Criming On His Way To Wrecking The Mail

Kamala Harris’s Sneakers Are Made For Walking On Trump’s Stupid Face

VA Sec Wilkie Doesn't Just Look Like Baby Dinosaur Bill Barr, He Lies Like Him Too!

It's 56 Days Until The Election, And Trump Still Hates The Troops

Trump Kills Off Summer With Lie-Filled Labor Day Press Conference

The Worst Design Trends Over The Last 30 Years. Tabs, Tues., Sept. 8, 2020

Let's Talk About Some Awesome Ladies Of The Labor Movement!

Wonkette Labor Day Weekend Movie Party: 1954's 'Salt of the Earth'

North Carolina Can Vote Now To Elect Cal Cunningham And Flip The Senate. Just Vote Once, Please.

Stay Home This Labor Day With Questionable Movie Choices

Trump Wants Fox Reporter Who Confirmed Atlantic Story Fired For Hurting His Wee Feelings

Boogaloo Bois Arrested For Trying To Join Up With Hamas

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is SCARY MONSTERS!

QAnon Candidate Just Posing With Huge Gun Next To The Squad, What's Wrong With That?

Bill Barr Just A Big Ol' Liar About Absentee Voter Fraud, Who Knew?

Rightwing Twitter So Mad Facebook Cancelled Richard Jewell, 8 Years Before Facebook Existed

WH Flacks Insist Donald Trump Loves Troops Most Donald Trump Loves Troops Most Donald T

Suspect In Portland Shooting Shot And Killed By The Officers Sent To Arrest Him

Wow, Trump And Russia Totally Agree On Mail-In Voting! Probably A Big Coincidence!

Trump's Debate Plan? Try To Make Biden Stutter. Because These People Are FILTH.

We Say 'Defund The Police' Because We Don't Want You Shoving A Guy's Face In The Ground Till He Dies

Rep. Clay Higgins Loves Gun Rights So Much He'll Gladly Murder Black Militia Dudes

Trump Barfs Out Meaningless Order To Defund 'Anarchist Cities.' Blahblahblah.

Dear US Military: This Is What Your Commander-In-Chief Really Thinks Of You

26 Stupid Breakup Stories That Will Make Your Eyes Roll. Tabs, Fri., Sept. 4, 2020

The Election Is In Two Months. PLAN YOUR F*CKIN' VOTE!

Donald Trump Never Said 'Vote Twice,' He Said 'Boat Mice'

Miss America Is Canceled This Year. We Don't Have To Do It Next Year Either. Or Ever Again.

Missing Wonkette Posts Got You Down?

Bill Barr: Come For The Fascism, Stay For The Unhinged White Supremacist Bullsh*t!

'Sturgis' Means 'Friendship'

Ted Cruz, Friends: If We Lie About Abortion Pill REAL BAD Can We Get FDA To Ban It?

Psycho-Fascist Bill Barr Tells Wolf Blitzer How 2020's Trump Election-Stealing Gonna Work

We Just Put A Human Rights Official On List Of 'Terrorists Not Allowed To Do Business With America'

Trump Tells Idiot Followers To Vote Twice, To Prove Voter Fraud Is Real

For (Sadly Not) The Last Time, 'GIIIIIIINA Isn't Doing Sh*t To Help Joe Biden

Trump Admin Half-Asses An Eviction Moratorium, Hooray!

30 Petty Yet Satisfying Revenge Stories. Tabs, Thurs., Sept. 3, 2020

Is Another One Of Trump's 'All The Best People' About To Be Indicted?

Trump Admin Releases 'Still More Census F*ckery,' Worst Anthology Ever

President No-Strokey Acting Kiiiiiiinda Strokey If You Ask Us

Acting Chad Blocks Memo On Russian Efforts To Flog 'Biden Dementia' Storyline. NO COLLUSION!

'Because I Want It' Not A Winning Senate Race Message For Young Joe Kennedy

​Liberty U Hires Forensic Team To Shine 'CSI' Jizz Light On Jerry Falwell Jr.

Seattle Police Don’t Care What Matters For Y’all. Only Goal’s To Keep That Money Flowing.

Joni Ernst Castrates COVID Science While Iowa Burns

Bill Barr Big Mad About COVID-19 Nursing Home Deaths Now, Long As He Can Blame Democrats

Conservatives Gonna Keep Idolizing Kyle Rittenhouse Until There's A New One Each Week

How QAnon Is Backing Conspiracy Theorist’s Bizarre Claim To The Throne. Tabs, Wed., Sept. 2, 2020

White House Doc Says Trump's Sexxx Body Bangin' As Ever (BLINK TWICE IF KNIFE TO HEAD, DUDE)

Look At These White Football Coaches Believing Black Lives Matter, Is That Even Legal?

NO MINI-STROKES! NO MINI-STROKES! OOPS, DID I JUST SAY MINI-STROKES?

Trump Adviser's Smart New Pandemic Strategy: Let God Sort 'Em Out

Trump Cures COVID With $250M Happytalk Propaganda Campaign

KY Prosecutor Offered Convicted Felon Plea Deal If He’d Just Give Up Still-Dead Breonna Taylor

There Was No Russia Investigation

How Did Imaginary Planeloads Of Antifa Supersoldiers Get From Boise To Trump's Head?

Trump Defends Supporters' Inalienable Right To Kill People

Federalist Lady Very Mad At VMAs For Being Politically And Socially Relevant

Appeals Court Fishes Unflushable Michael Flynn Out Of The Bowl For One More Go

'Trump Stooge' John Ratcliffe Knows Russia Attacking Election, But SHHHHH IT'S A SECRET

This Is A Bridesmaid’s Dress You’d Wear More Than Once! Tabs, Tues.,Sept. 1, 2020

Joe Biden Helpfully Reminds Donald Trump Who's President, What Day It Is, Which One Is 'Camel'

Senate's Dumbest Republican Just Real Broken Up About What Happened In Kenosha

Herman Cain Speaks From Beyond Grave, Says Thing That Killed Him Not So Bad After All

More US Troops Riding With Biden Than Saluting President Bone Spurs

'Christians Against Dinosaurs' Group Fails To Force Arizona T. Rex Into Extinction

Does GOP Rep. Ken Buck Think You Have To Pay People To Hate Rand Paul?

Wisconsin Governor, Portland Mayor Beg Trump To Stay Away, Stop Making Sh*t Worse

GOP Wishes You’d Forget How Many Times They've Tried To Kill Obamacare Dead

What The Hell Kind Of Monster Deceptively Edits An Ady Barkan Video?

White House Knew Kushner Security Clearance Was Very Uncool, Very Unlegal

‘Devil Made Me Racist’ Actual Defense From N-Word-Dropping Ex-Arkansas Sheriff

Racist, Fascist, Coronavirus-Denying President Surprisingly Unpopular

Classic Film Stars Who Were Actually Really Weird. Tabs, Mon., Aug. 31, 2020

Trump Retweets Covidiot's Bizarre Claim That 'Only 6%' Of COVID-19 Deaths Are Real

In Texas, MJ Hegar Hopes To Flush 'Big John' Cornyn Out Of US Senate

No, White People, Joe Biden Doesn’t Need A ‘Sister Souljah Moment’

Who The Hell Is The Target Market For This Election 2020 Chess Set?

New Hampshire 'Macho Man' Trumpist Casually Suggests Reporter Watch Out For Bombs

Militia Member Ominously Warns Modesto's Straight Pride Event Won't Be 'Family Friendly'

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Says Hello Sailors!

Jesse Lee Peterson Found Out That People Have Oral Sex And He Is Not Okay

What's This? Coronavirus Is Still Here? The Deuce You Say!

GOP's Colorado 'Law And Order Candidate' Lauren Boebert Kind Of Bad At Law, Order

Judge Tells Anti-Trans School Board To Do Anatomically Impossible Things To Itself

A Well-Connected QAnon Guy Is Representing The Teen Who Shot, Killed Kenosha Protesters

Rand Paul Shouted To Death On Streets Of DC, Recovers In Time To Describe Martyrdom To Fox & Friends

Donald Trump's RNC Speech Probably Sounded Better In The Original German

If Trump Org Can Charge Secret Service $4,000 For 'Resort Fees,' Yeah. It's Gonna Do That.

CDC Changed Testing Guidelines Over Dr. Fauci's Dead Body (Don't Worry, He Got Better)

'Better Than Adderall!' Say University Students! Tabs, Fri., Aug. 28, 2020

Here Is The Thread For Not Watching Donald Trump Roll In His Own Sh*t For Three Hours

Is Lindsey Graham Trying To Use QAnon To Further The Right's War On Social Media? (Yes)

Jared Kushner Is Here To Tell Black America How To Protest Good, So Listen Up, LeBron

There's A Reason Why 'Don't Bring A Knife To A Gun Fight' Is A Saying

RNC Night Three: The Enstupiding

Evil Ken Doll Mike Pence Says Some Lie Words At The RNC

Tucker Carlson Leads Mass Swoon Over Teen Dream/Homicidal Maniac Kyle Rittenhouse

Vindman Brothers Burning Down NSC From BEYOND THE RETIREMENT GRAVE

Weird Dilbert Guy Presents Airtight Case: Joe Biden Might Be Satan

Sportsball Declares General Strike Against Police Violence

Florida Court Rules School Reopening Utterly F*cking Insane

These Wedding Gowns Made The Guests Uncomfortable! Tabs, Thurs., Aug. 27, 2020

His Childhood Nickname Was 'Bubbles.' It's Mike Pence Night At The RNC!

Ayanna Pressley, The Gals Make A Fine Pie Out Of Postmaster General Louis DeJoy

What Next, CDC? Gonna Tell Us To Bleach The Coronavirus Away?

Kenosha Gunman Should’ve Finished Police Academy Before Shooting People

President Math Whiz Will Fix Unemployment By Bankrupting Social Security Because LEMON IT'S ONLY WEDNESDAY!

RNC Speaker Abby Johnson Knows If Cops Profile Own Black Son, He'll Have It Coming

And Now For Your Daily Update On Jerry Falwell's Dick

Melania Trump Speaks Without Michelle Obama Moving Her Lips, Everyone’s So Impressed.

RNC Night Two: Let's Count The Federal Crimes!

Hey, Know Who ELSE Donald Trump Likes To Pardon?

Should This Young Man's 'Promising Present' Be Ruined Just Because He Slaps And Chokes Women (Right Now)?

Hillary Clinton: Never Give Up, Never Surrender

Ammon Bundy, Wingnut Anti-Mask Loons Break-And-Enter Idaho Legislature Because Public Health Is Hitler

The State Of The Republican Party Is ... F*cking Delusional

How To Do Diamonds If Minimalism Is Your Thing. Tabs, Wed., Aug. 26, 2020

Will Melania Say Michelle Obama's DNC 2020 Speech In Pig Latin? RNC, Night Two!

Person. Woman. Man. BABIES ON SPIKES! MY PILLOW!1!!11!!1!1!!!!!

There's Big Coronavirus News! So Obviously Trump Lying About How Big.

Chris Janicek Is Telling You He’s Not Going, In A Gross, Sexist Text

Utah Wingnuts Called For High School 'No Mask Monday' Protest. Hero Teens Said 'No Thanks, Jerks!'

Jerry Falwell Getting Out Of Bed With Liberty U, Will Watch It From The Corner

Nikki Haley, Tim Scott Hail Donald Trump’s Victory Over The Racism Joe Biden Unleashed On America

79,000 Batsh*t Moments From RNC Night One (Only Half Were Kimberly Guilfoyle)

No Tax Scam! No Tax Scam! You Are The Easily Disproven Tax Scam Eric Trump Is Pleading The Fifth About!

Melania Trump’s RNC Speech Will Contain 50 Percent More Of Her Own Words Or Your Money Back!

Junior Begs For President Daddy's Love At RNC, Still Isn't President Daddy's Favorite

Missing Republican Convention Platform Is Perfect Metaphor

Jeff Flake Wants To Keep Looking At Chiseled Face In The Mirror, Endorses Joe Biden

No Navajos Appear To Be Involved In 'Navajos For Trump,' But Charlie Kirk Sure Is

12 Reasons You Should Keep Those Old CDs. Tabs, Tues., Aug. 25, 2020

It's Don Jr. Night At The RNC, And We Are (Not) Liveblogging It!

Tune In For The RNC's Night Of 1,000 Stars Named Trump

A Soupçon Of GOP Pre-Convention Bullsh*t!

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. JERRY!

RNC Resolution On Hate Groups Has Nothing To Do With 'Rejecting Hate Groups'

Farewell, Lying Lie-Face Kellyanne Conway, You Won’t Be Missed

How Do You Have A Satanic Pedophile Cannibal Cabal With No Complaining Victims?

GOP Fully On Board With Crackpot QAnon-Curious Candidate Marjorie Taylor Greene

Rats Are Eating Up All Your Fruit Baskets Because Of Trump's Post Office F*ckery

Who Wants To Talk About Jerry And Becki Falwell's Sex Life?

Police Shot Black Man In The Back In Kenosha, Wisconsin, Because This Sh*t Never Ends

Actual Website Seeks 'Karens' To Review Dehumidifiers

Tennessee Republicans: Protesters Can Either Have Free Speech Or Voting Rights, Not Both

Melania Trump’s New White House Rose Garden Ready For Climactic Horror Movie Scene

Brew Your Best Cup Of Coffee Yet In An Air Fryer! Tabs, Mon., Aug. 24, 2020

'Donald Is Cruel:' Maryanne Trump Barry Dishes On Everything We Already Know About Her Brother

Oklahoma Has Chance To Rid Itself Of National Joke Jim Inhofe, If It Has A Lick Of Sense

Martha McSally Unveils New ‘Skip A Few Meals For My Losing Campaign’ Diet

Trump Tells Ridiculous Lie About Godless Communists At The DNC Removing God From The Pledge

Judge Says Trump's Gotta Pay Stormy Daniels $44,100 For Legal Fees

Don't Go To Any 'Save Our Children' Marches — They Are Not What You'd Think

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Put A Cat On It!

Hello Joe

Elizabeth Warren's Gonna Deal With The Post Office And Also All The Other Things

Hospital COVID-19 Data Going Back To The CDC. Or Maybe The Coast Guard.

Mike Pence Can't Go Anywhere Without Being Asked About QAnon, Satanic Cannibal Pedophiles

New Unemployment Claims Up Again. Good Thing We Renewed Those Bene ... Oh Sh*t

Drunk QAnon Lady Tried To Run Over Imaginary Pedophiles In Texas

President Pyro Threatens To Withhold FEMA Money Because California Too Lazy To Rake Forests

Joe Biden At DNC: Time To Make The Donuts!

Your New Boyfriend Miles Spilling More Beans About President Tinpot McLoudStupid

Oh Just Shut Up About The Postal Service, Nikki Haley

NYC Police Union Stands By Their Klansman

Toenail Fungus: One Cup Of This Will Get Rid Of It. Tabs, Fri., Aug. 21, 2020

Take A One-Way Trip To No-Malarkey-Ville! Your DNC Watch Party, Night Four!

Trump's Favorite Reporter Starting Own White House Correspondents Ass'n, Will OBVIOUSLY Usurp The Real One

Another Day, Another Judge Smacking President Loses-A-Lot Upside His Ass

Whoops, Have To Change Back Our 'Days Without Sarah Palin Calling Kamala Harris A Whore' Calendar To Zero

And On The Fourth Day Of The DNC, The *POST OFFICE* *ARRESTED* *STEVE BANNON*

Coronavirus Means Fewer Prison Inmates To Fight California Wildfires. How's YOUR 2020?

Madam Vice President. That's It, That's The Headline.

All Trump Needs Is The Air That He Breathes And To Know That QAnon Loves Him

Nancy Pelosi: Postmaster Busted Up The Sorting Machines, Ain't Fixing NOTHING

Opening A Chase Bank At The Post Office Is Not 'Postal Banking.' That Is Not It At All.

Obama Just Saying If You Don't Get Your Sh*t Together And Vote, America Is Over

Trump ‘Cancels’ Goodyear Tires For Not Pledging Allegiance To MAGA

One Thing All Liars Have In Common (Be Prepared)! Tabs, Thurs., Aug. 20, 2020

KAMALA NIGHT! OBAMA NIGHT! DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION WATCH PARTY, NIGHT THREE!

NO COLLUSION! NO COLLUSION! You Know, Except For ALL THIS F*CKING COLLUSION!

Trump Tried To Sell Three Million American Citizens, As One Does

ICE Feeds Muslim Detainees Some Jesus-Fried Pork

But Other Than That, Steve Doocy, How Was The Theater?

Laura Loomer Wins Florida GOP Primary On Crackpot Bigot Platform

Pompeo Tells House Dems To Get F*cked, Rolls Over For Senate R's Biden Smear

ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ SNUBS JOE ... What? Oh? Never Mind

It's Manafort. It's Always Been Manafort. And The Senate Intel Committee Seems To Agree!

We’re Not Crying, You’re Crying, Watching Jacquelyn Asbie Nominate Joe Biden For President

Hooray! Postal Service Won't Be Blowed Up Any More

On It, Bill

Donald Trump Secures Dead Victorian Lady Vote With Susan B. Anthony Pardon

Smirky Covington Teen, Gun-Waving St. Louis Couple Signed For GOP Convention. Where's Nuge?

Gwyneth Paltrow Owns One Of The Most Expensive Yachts In The World. Tabs, Wed., Aug. 19, 2020

Dr. Jill Biden, Stacey Abrams And AOC: Your DNC Night Two Watch Party!

This Joe Biden / Bruce Springsteen 'The Rising' Ad Makes YOU Cry, Not Us, Shut Up F*ck You

Rudy Giuliani Imagines Political Cat Fight Starring Kamala Harris, Michelle Obama

President Pandemic Knows Who's Lousy With COVID-19, And It Is New Zealand

Trump Keeps Jabbering About H1N1 And How Joe Biden Failed To Kill People With It

Virginia Cops Charge Black Lady Senate President With Murdering Up Confederate Monument She Never Touched

Little Marco Rubio Ain’t Got S**t On Eva Longoria

Meet Miles Taylor. Donald Trump Is VERY MAD AT MILES RIGHT NOW GRRR ARGH!

Coronavirus Shortens UNC Chapel Hill School Year By 51 Weeks Or So

Ha Ha Cardi B, You Just Got BIDENED!

Can Michelle Obama Just Address The Nation Every Night Until November 3?

8 Tricks To Remove Incriminating Blood From Your Carpet! Tabs, Tues., Aug. 18, 2020

Michelle Obama, Bernie And ... John Kasich? Well, OK ... Oh My! Your DNC Night One Livestream

Trump Reaches 'Call Fox & Friends And Whine About How Awesome He Is' Stage Of Grief

Someone Made A New Bananapants 'Satanic Pedo Cabal' QAnon Pizza Map, Looks Legit

Weirdo Wingnut Just Wants To Share His Creepy Sex Dream About Kamala Harris (Allegedly!)

Jared Kushner's Three 'R's For New School Year: Reading, 'Riting And 'Ronavirus

Why Would GOP 'Denounce' Rush For Calling Kamala Harris A 'Ho'? He's Just Like Them.

Yep, The Trump Campaign Is The Death Star. Just Not How They Think.

Mark Meadows Lied About The Post Office, And Jake Tapper Was Not Having It

Trish Regan’s Diss Of US Postal Service Stamped 'Return To Sender'

Belarusian People Done With A-Hole President's Sh*t

Eric And Lara Trump Have Thoughts About Biden’s ‘Insulting,’ ‘Discriminatory’ VP Pick

Anti-Choice Democrats Helpfully Offer Up List Of Legislators To Primary Next Year

Trump Ditches Fox News For New, Younger Sidepiece OANN

Trump Wants FDA To Take COVID Curing Tips From 'My Pillow' Guy

Brides Gone Wild: Bridesmaids Spill Their Craziest Bridezilla Stories! Tabs, Mon., Aug. 17, 2020

Trump Concerned Mail-In Voting Is The Thing That Will Make The World Laugh At Us

Rhode Island's Jack Reed Might Be The Niftiest Senator You've Never Heard Of

We Want To Believe Mike Espy Can Beat ‘Confederate Cindy’ In Mississippi Senate Rematch

Matt Schlapp To Own The Libs By Getting A Ton Of Parking Tickets

Infowars' Millie Weaver Arrested For Robbery, Domestic Violence — Not For Intrepid Journalism

Reporter Asks Trump About QAnon, Mass Arrests Fail To Ensue

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Says: EVERYBODY INTO THE POOL!

Feed The Kitty

Should We Freak Out Yet? Your Postal Service Fuckery Roundup ​​​​​

Gun Nut Blows Own Nuts Off, Is Hailed As Hero By Group Of Men Who Point Guns At Their Nuts

Well Why Wouldn't A QAnon Mom Try To Kidnap Son From Foster Care If She Thinks He's Being Trafficked?

Trump Plans One Last White House Smash And Grab, For Old Times' Sake

Joe Biden Politicizes Pandemic, Calls For Mask Mandate EVEN THOUGH Trump Doesn't Want One!!!

How Stephen Miller Found Somebody Deplorable Enough To F*ck Him: A Love Story!

QAnon Candidate Marjorie Taylor Greene Also 9/11 Truther, Seth Rich Truther, School Shootings Truther ...

They Will Have To Rename Nobel Peace Prize The Trump Peace Prize Now, Suck It Libs

Senate's Dumbest Republican Also A Sniveling Toady If You're Into That Sort Of Thing

Donald Trump Won't Host G7, Can't Spell It Either

Harry Styles Is The Most Unproblematic Famous Person, Here's 15 Moments To Prove It. Tabs, Fri., Aug. 14, 2020

Person. Woman. Man. DEMOCRATS ARE GOING TO STEAL ALL THE ANIMALS ... TV!

Social Distancing And Masks Are Actual Satanic Rituals, Says Wisconsin Mom

Trump On Fox: Of Course I'm F*cking With The Post Office To Prevent Voting. Do I Look Stupid?

Jared Kushner Is Going To Hell

President Bigly Brain's Batsh*t Presser Went Lil' Bit Off The Rails Yesterday

How Did Burning Down The CDC's COVID-19 Data System Work Out? Probably Just Fine We Bet!

Trump Ready To Murder The Planet For Healthier, Shinier, Bouncier Hair

'Like Everything Else He Inherited, He Ran It Straight Into The Ground'

Helpful Missouri Gov Will Do Duly Elected Black Female Prosecutor's Job For Her, What A Helper!

Uber CEO Goes Full Bond Villain

GOP Makes Voting Great Again By Murdering Ballot Drop Boxes

Hey, One Of That Idiot's (Four) Executive Orders This Weekend Was Legal!

This Sh*t Is Not In The Bag

You Should Be Using A Stand To Pee Device. Tabs, Thurs., Aug. 13, 2020

Trump Idiots Demand Kamala Harris Release Her Long-Form Black Certificate

OMG Kamala Harris Is An Antifa Socialist Cop From Wall Street!

Kanye Went To Jared

President Klan Robe Vows To Save All The Suburban White Ladies From Cory Booker’s Black Mobs

Kamala Is A Climate Cop

WTF Is Happening In Belarus? Well, It's VERY TRUMPY.

Florida Gov DeSantis Declares Flawless Victory Over COVID-19, Reality

Georgia About To Send First QAnon Conspiracy Nutjob To Congress

Martha McSally: Pobody's Nerfect!

Postal Service Just Removing Sorting Machines Before Election, No Big Deal

White House: Did We Say $400 In Emergency Unemployment? About That!

Sarah Palin Has Some Just Really Good Advice For Kamala Harris, Dontcha Know?

Astonishing Walk In Tubs For Seniors On The Sale Now! You Should Research Safe Step Walk In Tub. Tabs, Aug. 12, 2020

Kamala Harris Is Your New Vice President, Now Let's Go Win This Motherf*cker

Sarah Palin Was The Only Woman In 2008 To Endure Sexist Treatment, You Betcha

Meet The Ukrainian Idiot Laundering Russian Propaganda Into The Senate's Dumbest Republican's Brain!

Look At This F*cking Idaho Idiot

Louisville Cops SO ANNOYED People Still Protesting Breonna Taylor’s Murder!

Stephen Miller Not Saying Americans In Mexico Can't Come Home ... Yet

Russia Is Attacking The 2020 Election, You Idiots. Not Iran. Not 'GIIIIIIINA. Russia.

Fun With Unemployment Money, Trump-Style!

Seattle Cops Making Baaaaaank

Ben Sasse Is Willing To Sacrifice Your Kids For College Football. Why Aren’t You?

Trump Says '1917' Pandemic Ended 'Second World War' And ... BRB, BUNKER TIME!

You’ve Been Pouring Your Coffee Wrong All This Time. We’ll Show You The Right Way! Tabs, Tues., Aug. 11, 2020

Covidiot Smash Mouth Guy Still Ain't The Sharpest Tool In The Shed

Trump Plans GOP Convention At White House Because F*ck It, If You're Gonna Steal, STEAL BIG!

Former Michigan Official Just Your Typical Non-Racist Who Won’t Stop Saying 'N-Word’

Trump Probably Can't Executive Order Social Security And Medicare Away, But He's Still Gonna Try

Kayleigh McEnany Has Excess Of Lies About 'Excess Capacity' Of COVID-19 Tests

Trump Idiots Explain Trump's Idiot Executive Orders Almost Perfectly On Sunday Shows

Pam Bondi Can’t Believe New York AG Letitia James. Just Can’t Believe Her At All!

QAnon/Pizzagate Conspiracists Try For Respectability Rebrand With #SaveTheChildren

Steven Mnuchin Delighted To Learn About 'WIC' Program For Poors, Isn't That Just Marvelous

Mark Meadows Leads White House Effort To Cure COVID-19 With PR Blitz

Donald Trump Has A Dream: His Gross Face On Mount Rushmore

Trump Can't Give Evangelical Christians The Power They Crave Without Our Permission

Trump Will Win Re-Election Over Post Office’s Dead Body

Colleagues Find Woman’s Bikini Photos Inappropriate, Give Her Ultimatum. Tabs, Mon., Aug. 10, 2020

Crowded Georgia School Now A Veritable Coronafest

Massachusetts Senate Primary: You Literally Can’t Go Wrong Here

Let's Keep This 'Jesus Doesn't Like​ Obamacare Because Poor Folks Are Lazy' Guy Out Of US Senate

Let's Meet Jo Jorgensen, The Libertarian Presidential Candidate Who Got Bit By A Bat!

A Big Win For Trans Students In The 11th Circuit!

250,000 Maskless, Clueless Bikers Descend On Small South Dakota Town

Trump's Pre-Existing-Conditions Shuffle Is Gonna Fool A Whole Lot Of People

E. Jean Carroll Wants Trump's DNA — And A Judge Says She Can Keep Trying To Get It

Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Was Like A Rhinestone Cowboy

Well Of Course They Had To Un-Suspend Georgia Student, Or She'd Still Be On CNN!

Florida Gov Ron DeSantis Orders All Schoolkids Back Into The Water

DC Circuit Tells Don McGahn To Shut Up And Sing

How Dare NY AG Catch NRA Execs Looting $64 Million From 'Charity'!

Progressive Underdog Marquita Bradshaw Wins TN Democratic Senate Primary On One-Eightieth The $$$

Dinesh D'Souza Has Found A Hill To Thigh On

July Unemployment Report Here, EVERYTHING FINE NOW HOORAY

KKK-Loving Alabama State Rep Arrested For Allegedly Forgetting Thou Shalt Not Steal

Biden Better Pick S.E. Cupp’s Ideal VP Or She’s Writing In Ronald Reagan’s Frozen Head

White House Now Outsourcing Sh*tty Hydroxychloroquine Takes To Weird Dilbert Guy

CIA Treating Senate's Dumbest Republican Like Toxic Dump Human He Is

Senate Republicans AWOL In Stimulus Negotiations, Trump Might Try Magic Instead

Disappointing Photos Show What Cruise Ships Actually Look Like In Real Life. Tabs, Fri., Aug. 7, 2020

Oh No, Is Joe Biden Going To Spank The Lord Right On The Bottom?!

New York Sues To Put NRA Out Of Our Misery

Calm Down, Y'all! Georgia High School No More Crammed Full Of 'Rona Than Rest Of State!

Mississippi Judge Begs Supreme Court To Fix Its Made-Up 'Qualified Immunity' Sh*t

Jerry Falwell Sorry About All The [GULP!] Crotch

Where On Earth Does Mike Pompeo Keep Misplacing His Inspectors General?

The FBI Raided Jake Paul's House. If That Sentence Means Nothing To You, Click Here!

Facebook, Twitter Won't Let Trump Lie About Pandemic And Kids, How Is That Even Fair?

Uh Oh, Trump, Deutsche Bank Has Been Cooperating With The Manhattan DA!

Another Day, Another Devin Nunes Defamation Suit Gets Ground Into Hamburger

Mazie Hirono No Longer Has Time For Ted Cruz's Shit

How Stupid Do Republicans Think Black Voters Are? This Stupid.

GOP: Lazy-Ass Poor People Are Ruining This Pandemic For Everyone

27 Fun Summer Impulse Buys I Think You'll Be Totally Justified In Purchasing. Tabs, Thurs., Aug. 6, 2020

'This Pampered Princeling Has Never Met A Problem He Couldn't F*CK UP'

'Big Tech’ So Biased Against Conservatives It’s Gonna Help Trump Win Re-Election

Donald Trump Wants Microsoft To Buy TikTok. And He Wants A Piece Of The Action.

Pentagon Officials Say Trump Full Of Sh*t On Beirut Explosion, As Usual

WNBA Players Rudely Use Free Speech To State Political Views Like 'Don't Vote For Racist Cartoon Villain'

Trump's Crack Legal Team Sues To Make Nevada Voting Contagious Again

Mike Pence Helped Rapey MO Ex-Gov Greitens Get Navy Job Back, Because He Is The Nicest

Trump's Hourlong 'Fox & Friends' Therapy Session Went Well This Morning

Kris Kobach On His Way To Loser Town But Cori Bush Going To Congress

Hero Aurora Cops Terrorize Black Children, Give Them Coupon For Free Therapy

Trump Seeming More Confident Florida Will Be Rigged In His Favor

States Decide To Try Uniting For COVID-19 Testing

William And Kate Have Been Told Their Fate Once Charles Finally Becomes King. Tabs, Wed., Aug. 5, 2020

Is Manhattan DA Cyrus Vance Coming For ALL Trump's Naughty Fraudy Sh*t? Maybe!

Stop Trying To Make Schools Happen

Douche Offers Strawman Strawmington Argument For Why Corrupt Senate GOP Should Stay In Power

Rudy Giuliani Having Dementia Thoughts. Errrr, Thoughts On Dementia. Not His Own. Yep.

MSNBC Sends Chuck Todd Packing To Early Afternoon. He Won’t Be Missed.

James O'Keefe Trying To ​Entice Voting Rights Onto His Dildo Lube Boat

Trump Installs Rejected Sleazeball Anthony Tata At Pentagon, No Senate Required!

Trump's Axios Interview Was Pretty F*ckin' Deranged, Yeah?

Senate’s Dumbest Republican Still Thinks COVID-19 A Slightly More Annoying Flu

If You've Ever Thought 'I Wonder What Jerry Falwell's Upper Pubic Mound Looks Like' This Is Your Blog Post!

Stupidest Website On The Internet Says Russians Conspiring To Make QAnon Look Anti-Semitic

Wow, There Was Actually Someone Too Batsh*t Bigoted For The Trump Administration

17 Movies Where You Didn’t See The Twist Coming! Tabs., Tues., August 4, 2020

Little Marco Rubio Is Trump’s Big Latin America Adviser. No, Really.

Nancy Pelosi Sees The GOP's Bullsh*t Coming

'The Ingraham Angle' Knowingly Aired Stolen Footage Producers Were Told They Could Not Use

Trump Finds New Way To Ratf*ck Census, To Screw Democrats Long After He's Gone!

Trump Attacks Dr. Birx, Because We Guess He’s Intent On Exactly Zero Women Voting For Him

Just How Gross Is Every Powerful Man Who Spent Time With Jeffrey Epstein?

Creepy Blue Lives Matter Group Tricks Black Church Into Hosting Rally

Nevada Legalizes Safe Voting, So Trump Ragetweets GOP Into Another Pointless Lawsuit

Navy SEALs Sic Dogs On Colin Kaepernick Stand-In, For Racist Giggles!

GOP So Mad House Candidate's 'Private Moments' Of Alleged Domestic Violence Brought Up

GOP Senate Candidate Thinks Chinese Students Should Only Be Free To Learn ‘Freedom’

School Openings Have, Uh, Not Been Going Very Well

Kris Kobach Has Full Support Of Democrats Who Can’t Wait To See Him Lose Kansas Senate Race

You Won't Believe How Strict Prince George And Princess Charlotte's Nanny Is! Tabs, Mon., Aug. 3, 2020

Sara Gideon Generously Working To Help Susan Collins Retire From Senate

QAnon Idiots Marched On Hollywood To Demand Celebs Stop Eating Babies

President Patsy Still Working Part Time As Putin’s Press Secretary

Your Dream Of Spending $300 On A Fyre Festival Hat Could Come True This Week

Michigan Teen Who Didn't Do Her Homework Finally Free After Months In Juvie

Boston Bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev Will Not Get The Death Penalty After All

Javanka Raked In Over $36 Million While Governmenting Last Year

Trump Banning TikTok, Surely Not Because The TikTok Teens Ruined His Tulsa Rally

Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Will Draw You A Picture

The Bloodhound Gang And The Mystery Of Congressman Cowpies' Hidden DHL Receipt!

Tucker Carlson Worries About 'Greasy' Barack Obama, Who's Just So Partisan

Twitter Now A David-Duke-Free Zone

Senate Republicans Take Long Weekend To Decide If You Should Be Able To Pay Your Rent Tomorrow

DHS Doing 'Intelligence Reports' On Journalists​, Like In Real, Live Police State!

Trump Gives Oregon Two Days To Clear Out Imaginary 'Beehive Of Terrorists', Or It Gets The Hose Again

'Boogaloo' Terrorism Suspect Now Also Charged With Possession Of Child Pornography

Kushner's Crew Had A Coronavirus Plan, But Decided To Blame Blue State Govs Instead. LOL!

Post Office Suddenly Delaying Deliveries​ Months Before Election, What Could It Mean?

Trump Nominee Anthony Tata SO GROSS Even Republican Senators Said No

Barack Obama Got Political In John Lewis Eulogy! Shouldn't Civil Rights Stay Safely In The Past?

Happy Friday! Let's Talk About Mary Trump's Big Gay Interview!

Here Is Your House Coronavirus Hearing With Dr. Fauci And Two Clowns

Outdated Fashion Trends Old Women Still Wear! Tabs, Fri., July 31, 2020

Uh Oh, Michael Flynn, Deep State Might Still GONNA GITCHA

Rick Wiles: COVID-19 NOT God's Judgment Now That It's Hitting Red States

Even Republicans Agree: Trump Can STFU About Delaying The Election, That's What He Can Do

Republicans' COVID-19 'Liability Shield' Is So Much Worse Than You Thought

Sorry To Interrupt, But The Economy Seems To Be ON FIRE

Will The Deaths Of Herman Cain And Turning Point Co-Founder End The Anti-Mask Nonsense?

Here Is Your Thread For Watching Barack Obama Eulogize American Hero John Lewis

Joe Biden Can Win Georgia

Trump Could Probably Kill DACA Legally But It’s Just More Fun The Other Way

Trump Didn't Talk To Putin About Russian Bounties On American Troops, Must Have Slipped His Very Good Brain

BREAKING: Sh*tmouthed Authoritarian Wannabe Say Whaaaaaaat?

Lindsey Graham Would Also Like You To Know Jaime Harrison Is Black, Has Jewish Friend

Trump Gonna Protect Your Suburban Lifestyle Dream From Scary Scarers Like 'Cory Booker'

Rush Limbaugh Hates White Women So Much Right Now, He Just Called Them Black Men

15 Wives Who Really Did Their Husbands Dirty With These Mischievous Pranks. Tabs, Thurs., July 30, 2020

Louie Gohmert JES' WONDERIN' If A Mask Gave Him The COVID-19

Texas Asshole Wants To Share Good News About ‘Mostly Elderly & Hispanics’ Dying From COVID-19

Tucker Carlson FURIOUS You Canceled Dr. Immanuel Before She Could Explain: Does Demon Jizz Cause COVID-19?

Loser Trump Giving Up On Michigan Because He’s A Loser

Coronavirus Roundup Part 'Louie Gohmert Has It Now'

Senate GOP Meets To Hash Out Stimulus Bill, Kick The Crap Out Of Each Other

If Trump's Feds Can Kidnap People Off The Streets, NYPD Don't Mind If It Do!

House Democrats Treated Bill Barr Like Sh*t Yesterday. He Deserved It.

Park Police Chief: My Goons Showed ‘Tremendous Restraint’ When Assaulting US Citizens, Foreign News Crews

Nevada Sheriff Loses Sh*t When Library Suggests Perhaps Black Lives Matter

Florida State Study Finds An Armed Society Is A More Dead Society

GOP Stimulus Bill Has Extra Helping Of 'You're Now Homeless'

Why Honor Memory Of John Lewis When You Can Frolic At Klan Amusement Park?

Trump Loves Dr. Demon Jizz And All Her Smart Doctor Pals. Let's Get To Know Them Better!

31 Walmart Items For Anyone Who Spends Basically All Their Time In The Kitchen. Tabs, Wed., July 29, 2020

Love Means Sneaking $1.75 Billion Bailout For Trump Hotel Into COVID Aid Package

In Trump’s America, Violent Men Assault Women On The Street. They Are The Law.

GOP Finally Releases Coronavirus Spending Bill, And It's Just Fighter Jets And WALL

Actual US President Tweets Video Of Dr. Demon Slayer Pitching COVID-19 Miracle ‘Cure’

Police Say ​Richmond Riot Started By White Supremacists

Trump Fabricates Yankees Invite Because He Is Pathetic

Liveblogging Bill Barr's Lie Garbage, Because This Week Wasn't Terrible Enough Yet

Heeeeyyyy Georgia, Sen. David Perdue Would Like To Remind You Jon Ossoff’s A Jew!

Trumplethinskin Whining About Twitter's Trending Topics Now Because This Is Hell

This Thinly Sourced Internet Rumor Is Absolutely True! Tabs, Tues., July 28, 2020

The Following Things Are Wrong On The Internet Today

Trump Not Paying Respects To John Lewis Today, Because Trump Is Garbage

Ron DeSantis Never Gonna Be President Now

These Louie Gohmert Fans Seem Nice

Trump Inspired To Mild Action Against COVID-19 When He Heard Red State White People Might Die

Melania Trump Reminds Us She’s Still First Lady With Rose Garden Reno Project

Whoops! Fox News's Jesse Watters Walks Back Totally Accidental Praise For QAnon

Trump Got Closer To The Barstool Sports Guy Than You’ve Been With Your Nana For Past Four Months

Larry Kudlow Celebrates Booming Economy In Parts Of America Without COVID

Billionaire Steven Mnuchin So Tired Of COVID Jobless Flaunting Their Luxury Lifestyles In His Face

Can You Really Call It A 'Revival' If Everyone Comes Out Of It With Coronavirus?

Tom Cotton Says Founders Believed Slavery Was ‘Necessary Evil,’ So Checkmate, 1619 Project!

More Senate Republicans Looking Like They’ll Have To 'Find Something New' In 2021

29 Rom-Com Couples Whose Chemistry Leapt Off The Screen! Tabs, Mon., July 27, 2020

What Does It Mean For Conspiracy Theorists If Even Sinclair Won't Air Their Nonsense?

Trump VS. America

Kayleigh McEnany So Focused On COVID-19 Deaths That She’s Lying About 'Paw Patrol'

Drudge Sirens!: Tucker Carlson Says Matt Drudge Is Now A Woke Progressive Leftist

Federal Judges Okay Police State

GOPers Seriously Think Churches Are Regulated Differently Than Casinos Just To Persecute Christians

The One Million Moms Are Declaring War On Christmas

OAN Demands Twitter Stop Censoring QAnon Ideas Even They Won't Say On Air

Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Is Hungry Like A Wolf!

The Top 5 Trump Hannity Interview Answers Because You Weren't Yet Having A Stroke

NO, Maine TV Station, 84-Year-Old Motel Housekeeper Is NOT 'Heartwarming,' STOP THAT

Seattle Judge Lets Cops Rifle Through Reporters' Footage, Because Them And What Army?

DHS Admits One Or Twelve Tiny Oopsies, We Mean 'Lying To Judge.' Is That Okay?

Tucker Carlson Giddy Over Teargassing Of 'Secessionist' Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler

In Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, New York Times Sees Scheming Woman

David Brooks Sad No One Would Pay Dead Christopher Hitchens To Tell Women They Aren't Funny

Donald Trump Does Cancel Culture To GOP Convention In Jacksonville

'Plandemic' Lady And Larry Klayman Are Gonna Sue Dr. Fauci For Creating COVID-19

Watch The Obama/Biden 'Commercial' That's Making Trump Blow His Dumb Orange Gourd!

Trump's Dreams Of Invading Chicago Dashed By Bill Barr, Federal Law, Reality

GOP Stimulus Plan Just Big Blank With 'Fix Economy Here' Written In Crayon

19 Accidental Science Experiments To Make You Say, 'Wow, That's Mildly Cool.' Tabs, Fri., July 24, 2020

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Just Stood Up For Every Woman In The Country (Sorry To Sound Like An Upworthy Vid)

Judge Says Bill Barr Full Of Sh*t, Sends Michael Cohen Back To Home-Jail

Twitter Banning QAnon Accounts Now May Be Too Little, Too Late

Who's America's Next Top HR Guy? A Pizzagate Conspiracy Believer Man!

Fox Doc Idiot Man VERY Proud Of Trump Doing 'Shark! Big Mac! Fire Truck! Pussy! Airp'ane!' In Order

For A Minute Sen. Ron Johnson Wanted To Make Juneteenth A Federal Holiday, But He Got Over It

FLAWLESS! Republicans Reach (Partial) Agreement (With Other Republicans) On New Coronavirus Bill

ICYMI: Joni Ernst Is Giant A-Hole

Bill Barr Is Literally Fake News

Well-Rounded Killer Derek Chauvin Also Accused Tax Cheat, Vote-​ Frauder

Move Over Lincoln Project, The Trump Campaign Also Too Makes The Coolest Ads!

Donald Trump Announces 'Surge' Against US Cities In Operation Infinite Desperation

Joe Biden Correctly Labels Donald Trump First Racist President Named Donald Trump

TELL US AGAIN, TRUMP. TELL US ABOUT YOUR PERFECT DEMENTIA TEST. TELL US.

Person Woman Man Camera TV. Tabs, Thurs., July 23, 2020

Florida Cooked The COVID-19 Books, Now State Is Up In Flames

Matt Gaetz Commits One Or Twelve Ethical Ooopsies, NBD

Lawsplainer! Trump Doing Illegal Fu@k-Sh*t To Census, Surprise!

Can Plucky Little Data Company Replace CDC In Middle Of Pandemic? Guess We'll Find Out!

Nobody Wants To Touch Mike Pompeo Or His Stinky Meat Hands

Rep. Ted Yoho ‘Apology’: Not Sorry God Made Me Call AOC A ‘F*cking B***h'

Biden Campaign Gonna Use Senate's Dumbest Republican Ron Johnson As Chew Toy Now

If Trump Can't Profit Off Campaign Contributions, The Terrorists Will Win

Mike Pompeo CANNOT BELIEVE Gall Of New York Times Saying Slavery Existed!

Trump Tries To Grift Golf Cash From UK Government

Joe Biden Gonna Make America A Nanny State, Literally

Senate GOP Worried Jobless Are Too Funemployed To Go Work In COVID-19 Mines

Trump Sends Warmest Regards To Accused Child Rape Ringleader Ghislaine Maxwell

Flamin' Hot Lovers Try Every Flamin' Hot Snack. Tabs, Wed., July 22, 2020

Laura Ingraham So Mad Joe Biden Won't Even Let Trump Be Dictator-For-Life :(

GOP Platform ‘B****es Be Crazy’ Sure To Keep Women From Leaving Party In Droves

Michael Cohen Says Bill Barr Locked Him In Solitary To Stop Book Critical Of Trump

Portland Has Own WALL — Of Moms!

Jacksonville Sheriff: Trump's Convention Just Missing Venues, Security, Schedules, Events, Planning, Sense

Tom Cotton Compares Portland Protesters To Confederacy, Immediately Defends Their Future Statues

Trump To Give Chicago Old Razzle-Dazzle, The 'Federal Troops Invading US Cities' Kind

Fox's Newest Sexual Harassment Suit Somehow Even Worse Than You Thought

Joe Biden Sees Russia Coming, And He Is Going To Kick Their Ass

MO Gov. Mike Parson Wants To Throw Kids Into The Deep End Of COVID-19

Men's Rights Activist Lawyer Moves From Suing 'Ladies Nights' To Murder

Texas GOP Trying To Shore Up Ratings With Fan Favorite Crackpot/New Chair Allen West

Is Russia Using Senate's Dumbest Republican To F*ck With Election, ALLEGEDLY?

Gun-Toting St. Louis Lawyers Charged With Felony Dick-Being (Also Brandishing)

That Scratched CD You Threw Out Might Be More Valuable Than You Realize! Tabs, July 21, 2020

Biden And Pelosi Kindly Inform Trump His Ass Will Be Leaving White House January 20, One Way Or Another!

Trump Resumes Coronavirus Briefings For Ratings Gold, Oops, We Mean Public Health

Texas Parents Shocked Kids Came Back From Jesus Camp With COVID-19

The Battle Of Portland Heads To Court

Masks On, Masks Off: Part II

Black Fox News Employees Suddenly Realize, ‘Wow, This Place Is Really Racist!'

Trump's Bat-Guano Fox News Interview Gonna Turn His Campaign Around. Yep, Any Second Now.

Surgeon General Begs Fox News Viewers To Please Wear A Damn Mask

Real Teacher, Real President Have Real Plan For Getting Kids Back To School Safely

Masks Are Just The Latest Front In The Right's Forever War On The Service Industry

President Snowflake Can’t Bear To Look At Portraits Of Living Two-Term Presidents

So It Was Dr. Birx, In The White House Study, With The COVID-19 Candlestick!

GOP Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp Wants To Ban Atlanta Mayor From Talking About COVID-19

Trump Very Confused Why Portland Not Treating His Goon Squad As Liberators

Employers Are Sharing Times Applicants Instantly Got Rejected And I'm Like, Wow. Tabs, July 20, 2020

Trump Won't Name Forts We Won 'Beautiful World Wars' With After Al Sharpton

Roger Stone Uses Racial Slur, Put On Your Shocked Face

Nice Things And Good Trouble

Wow, It's Almost As If Joni Ernst Is A Hypocrite Or Something!

John Lewis Never Stopped Getting In ‘Good Trouble'

Anti-Maskers Are Crocheting Useless Spite Masks To Own The Libs

Why Hasn't President Joe Biden Prevented This Non-Existent Ban On Communion In Toronto Churches?

Wonkette's Top 10 Has It All Puzzled Out

Poll Porn: GOP Plan To Win Suburbs By Pissing Off Suburban Women Is Going GREAT

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Determined To Scare Living Fu*k Out Of Us, Again

Ask Wonkette: Is It LEGAL To Disappear People Off American Streets, Or The OPPOSITE Of That?

The Federalist Tries To Cancel 'The Baby-Sitters Club' For Teaching Children Morals

Mary Trump Ready For Her Closeup, Rachel Maddow

Idiots Unmasked: Your Coronavirus Roundup

Trump Invades Portland

Is It ... Is It Truck Day Every Day Now?

Trump's Best Boy Johnny Doing Loyalty Tests For Daddy, Because That's What's Important

Kevin McCarthy Fails To Put 'Protect Statues' Bill In Form Of A Statue

Coronavirus Data Already Memory Holed, Pandemic Over!

This Outrageous Truth About Green Gummy Bears Will Destroy Your World. Tabs, Friday, July 17, 2020

Everybody Hurts Sometimes. Even Brad Parscale's Neckbeard :(

RNC Moves Convention To Van By The River, Maybe They Can Fill That Up

Which Is Scarier? People Believing In QAnon, Or People Pretending To Believe In Order To Look 'Cool'?

Here's Eight Solid Minutes Of Lou Dobbs And Stephen Miller Talkin' Weird White Nationalist Sh*t

After Hiding COVID-19 Data, Maybe Trump Can Make Unemployment Numbers Vanish Too

Congress Just Curious Why Trump Buying PPE From Incompetent Dipsh*ts

Anti-Maskers Hold Corona-Party At Utah County Commissioners Meeting

Trump Campaign Tired Of Winning, Coughs Up Brad Parscale's Neckbeard

Alabama Dems Show Rest Of Us How To THROW THE F*CK DOWN

Susan Collins Very Concerned Sara Gideon Won't Meet Her Behind The Gym After Fifth Period

A Post About Coronavirus Mask Mandates Where The GOP Governor Of Alabama Isn't Even The Dumbest One

Guy Posing With Goya Beans Somehow Losing To Joe Biden By Double Digits, Huh

Celebrities Who Look Just Like Other Celebrities' Pets! Tabs, Thurs., July 16, 2020

Fox News Guest Idiot So Mad Online Schooling Pretty Much Just Sexting And Porn-Watching

Hey Kris Kobach, Found Yr Voter Fraud! It's This Kansas GOP Idiot Congressman, Allegedly!

Ivanka Trump Tweets Photo Of Herself With Strange Can-Shaped Item From Servants’ Quarters

Why The F*ck Did Trump Tell Hospitals To Stop Sending COVID-19 Data To CDC?

Mary Trump To Uncle Stable Genius: FIRE YOURSELF

Trump White House So Mad At Trump White House For Attacking Wise Dr. Fauci, Who Is Very Stupid

Joe Biden Gonna Ban Windows, And Other Highlights From Trump's Rose Garden Derp Manifesto Of Blarp

Sara Gideon Gonna Give Susan Collins Something To Be Concerned About. Your Primary Election Roundup!

Corona Recession Leaves 5.4 Million Americans Without Healthcare. MAGA MAGA MAGA!

Let’s All Dance On The Political Grave Of Confederate Monument Jeff Sessions

GOP Sen. John Kennedy Mad Enough About COVID School Closings To Say A Cuss!

Trump Administration Drops Stupid War On Foreign College Students, For Now

Trump: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, WHITE PEOPLE, RUN! AIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

The Worst Job Interviews Ever! Tabs, Wed., July 15, 2020

Lindsey Graham Madder At Robert Mueller Than A Three-Legged Dog Tryin' To Bury A Turd On An Icy Pond!

RNC Floats Brilliant Plan For Outdoor Convention. In Florida. In August.

Ivanka Trump: Let The Jobless Eat Cake

Michigan Girl Didn't Do Her Schoolwork, Goes To Jail

Uh Oh, Dr. Fauci! Trump Brain Geniuses Made Another Mean Girl Memo About You!

Bari Weiss Self-Deports From New York Times

Gavin Newsom: Better Part Of Valor Is SHUTTING CALIFORNIA THE F*CK BACK DOWN

Tucker Carlson Goin' To See A Man About A Fish

Trump Campaign Geniuses Send ‘Pay Up, Deadbeat’ Emails To Supporters

America Ignores Crazy Uncle Threatening To Take Over Cities Because 'Meh, He Says A Lot Of Sh*t'

'Destroy Conservatism Forever'? Well, If They Insist

World’s Only Republican Meghan McCain Wishes Betsy DeVos Was Better At Being Evil

Abortion Pill Now Available Without Doctor's Visit! Georgia's 6-Week Abortion Ban Blocked! Hooray!

Latest Leaks About Trump's Hunt For White House Leakers HILARIOUS

Dealsy McGoodBrain's Super Smrt Bargain With Roger Stone

This Common Household Item Can Help You Win Big In Vegas! Tabs, Tues., July 14, 2020

Washington NFL Team Will Finally Change Name, Hopefully Not To Another Racial Slur

ICYMI: Neil Gorsuch Wrote A Really Good Supreme Court Opinion. Wait, Where Are You Going?

The Miseducation Of Betsy DeVos

Trump Live-Tweets Fox News While COVID-19 Destroys Florida

White House Tries To Shiv Dr. Fauci, Stabs Self In Dick

'Radio Host Karen' Fired After Filming Herself Yelling At Total Strangers To Speak English

Minneapolis Cops Pretty Sure They’ve Got PTSD From All The ‘Cops Shouldn’t Kill People' Protests

One America News Georgia Poll Is Bad, Should Feel Bad

How Do We Know The People Promoting The Wayfair Conspiracy Are Not Child Molesters?

Guess South Carolina GOP Governor Too Scared Or Dumb To Save Lives With Mask Mandate

Trump Wants Nothing To Do With Raggedy-Ass Wall Built With His Supporters' Money

Racist Flat-Earther Caught With 30 Bombs Trying To Blow Up Building

President Nine Iron Hard At Work Golfing The COVID-19 Away

20 Truly Disgusting Facts About Ancient Roman Life! Tabs, Mon., July 13, 2020

The Unbearable Niceness Of Things

Lady Who Tried To Cancel Everyone's Bread Baking Is So Mad She Got 'Cancel Cultured'

Grown-Ass President Wants A Cookie For Wearing A Mask In Public

Fired North Carolina Cop Explains That His Super Racist Comments Were Actually His Religious Beliefs

Trump Commutes Sentence Of Super Best Friend Roger Stone

Who Would Have Believed This Woman-Hating Racist Was Writing Tucker Carlson's Show?

​Goya Trades Loyal Hispanic Customers For Laura Ingraham and James Woods!

Take Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 To The River!

No, Wayfair's Industrial Storage Units Do Not Come With Bonus Mole Children

Trump's New Hampshire COVID Rally Postponed For, Uhhh, Weather, You Bet

Trump Hopes Whining About CAMPUS RADICALS Will Distract You For Five Minutes

White House Cheers Sad Trump With Fake Polls, Trucks That Go VROOOOOOM!

Trump Administration Making Documented Immigrants Undocumented Again

Economic Recovery? Joe Biden Has A Plan For That

Sleeping Giants Not Very Woke

Trump Still Bragging About Superior Skill In Identifying 'Camel'

RNC Offers Convention Delegates A Side Of Heatstroke With Their COVID-19

QAnon People Find Irrefutable Proof JFK Jr. Is Alive, And Boy Is He ... Still Very Much Dead

ICE Unveils New Deportation Cop Fantasy Camp For Wannabe Brownshirts

Michael Cohen Going Back To The Big House

The 467,923 Stupidest Things Fox News Said About Trump's Taxes Yesterday

Once Hidden Secret Revealed From the Bible 'Elites Don't Want This Released'! Tabs, Fri., July 10, 2020

If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say About Bill Barr, Come Sit Next To Fired SDNY Chief Geoffrey Berman!

Supreme Court Lets Its Jesus Freak Flag Fly

Church Of Holy Bleach Drinking Leader Will Now Have To Drink Bleach In Jail

Supreme Court To Trump: You Are So Screwed, Eventually!

66 Protesters Have Been Hit By Cars This Summer. Hell Of A Funny Meme, Isn't It?

Everybody But Trump Agrees: GO THE F*CK TO JAIL, ROGER STONE

Hundreds Of Thousands Of Low-Income People Didn't Get Stimmy Checks For Their Kids, Oopsies

Trump Can't Always Get What He Wants, Not Even From Gorsuch And Kegstand :(

Men Have To Play Video Games Because Women Won't Do 'Biblical Submission', Says Nice Christian Lady's Friend

Tucker Carlson Has 14 Words For Tammy Duckworth

When Trump And Fox News Love Each Other Very Much, Sometimes They Lie Down Together And ...

Fox News Loves 'Sweden Model' Now That It Means F*cking Off Coronavirus Response

Maybe We'll Get Millions Of Syringes For COVID-19 Vaccine Without A Hitch. It Could Happen!

COVID-19 Testing A Big Flaming Dumpster Fire Named Donald Trump

The 27 Messiest Divorce Stories! Tabs, Thurs., July 9, 2020

GOP Strategy Of Clinging To Trump For Dear Life Paying Off. For Democrats.

Dear God, The CDC Just Caved To Trump's Ass-Whining AGAIN

Democrats Fully United Behind Biden For An Old-Fashioned Trump Whoopin'

Coming To A Trump COVID Rally Near You, Maybe: GEORGE WASHINGTON SEXXX STATUES!

Trump Pretty Sure Schools Not Doing Enough To Spread COVID-19

Kelly Loeffler Wants Atlanta Dream WNBA Team To Shut Up, Dribble, Maybe Tap Dance A Little

Guess No One Wants To Come To RNC Superspreader Convention In COVID Hotspot. Whodathunkit?

Mary Trump's Book May Be The Beginning Of A Sh*tshow Donald Trump Never Saw Coming

John Roberts Fell And Hit His Head, Clinton Hit Squad Thwarted Again

WH Trade Idiot Peter Navarro’s Got Some Hydroxychloroquine In The Trunk Of His Car For You

Iowa GOP Blocked Statewide Absentee Voting, Stepped On Own Dicks

Trump Knows Who Is The Real Russian Bounties And It Is The Leaker Of The Russian Bounties, Which Are Fake

Trump’s Infectious Stupidity Helped Kill Florida Teen Carsyn Davis

Donald Trump Wants Your Lazy Kids To Suck It Up And Get Back To School

People Who Clearly Partied Way Too Hard. Tabs, Wed., July 8, 2020

And Now We Know Why Stephen Miller Fell In Love With His Wife

Deutsche Bank Agrees To $150 Million Fine For Jeffrey Epstein Dealings. Mistakes Were Made!

Arizona: It's A Dry COVID

Sounds Like Mary Trump's Book Full Of Clues About What's Wrong With Donald Trump Jr.

ICE To International Students: Risk (Corona) Or Get The F*ck Out

Donald Trump: This Racism Goes Up To Eleven

Did Ayn Rand And Grover Norquist Drown Their PPP Moneys In The Bathtub? THEY BETTER DID!

Kayleigh McEnany: Why Won't Bubba Wallace Apologize For Jussie Smollett, Democrat Mayors, COVID-19

Trump Hopes Voters Will Just Forget COVID-19 Like Guy From ‘Memento'

​Private WALL Might Stand Forever, Might Fall Into Rio Grande, Who Knows?

What If All These 'Heritage Not Hate' People Celebrated Less Hateful Aspects Of Their Heritage Instead?

RNC Lady Pretty Sure All MEN Created Equal, OK?

President Grand Dragon's Racist Day Off

23 Married Couples Who Realized Their Spouses Were Imaginary! Tabs, Tues., July 7

Don't Worry, Brazilian Jesus Statue! Trump Is On His Way To Save You!

Springfield MA Detective Fired For Violating Department’s Black Lives Don’t Matter Policy

Michael Flynn Spent 4th Of July Giving His Heart To QAnon. OR DID HE?

Eric Trump Helpfully Reminds Voters His Dad Palled Around With A Pedophile

We Got 99 Problems, And COVID-19 Is A Lot Of Them!

Right-Wingers Hate New 'Free Speech' Platform Parler, You Can't Even Own The Libs There :(

Trump Idiot DNI John Ratcliffe: Can We Even Blame *Putin* For Russian Bounties?

White House Declares Flawless Defeat Of COVID-19: 'Live With It'

Trump Wants National Garden Of Heroes That’ll Never Ever Include Himself

Florida House Candidate Puts Beyoncé ON NOTICE For Being A Secret Italian Controlled By George Soros

Summer Taylor, Diaz Love Weren’t 'Agitators' Or 'Anarchists.' They’re Heroes.

Oh Yeah, It Was Definitely Left-Wing Activists Tearing Down A Statue Of ... Frederick Douglass

Trump Launches Culture War Against Americans Who Haven't Died On His Watch Yet

Meet The Wives Of The Richest Men Alive! Tabs, Mon., July 6, 2020

Kanye West Is Running For President Because Sure, Why Not?

Here Is Your Fourth Of July Nice Things Spectacular!

Wonkette's Top 10 Is Fiiiiiiireworks!

Pow! Bang! Fireworks! It Is Wonkette's Holiday Begapalooza!

Campaign In Chaos, As Trump Sits Home Crying In His Cheeseburger

Mississippi Election Lady Worries: 'The Blacks' Are Registering Voters, But What About PEOPLE?

The Washington Racial Slurs Are Ready To 'Review' Their Racist Football Team Name

If Donald Trump Wants To Help Niece Mary Sell Books, Suing Her Is A Pretty Good Way To Do It!

36 Years Later, Conservatives Finally Read The Lyrics To 'Born In The USA'

Tommy Tuberville Let Raping Football Man Off With One-Game Suspension

13 Tons Of (Alleged) Concentration Camp Prisoner Hair From China Seized At Border

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott Orders Masks, Is Liberal Socialist Tyrannizer Now, Sad!

Joe Biden Has Army Of Lawyers Ready To Fight Off Election Malarky

This Incredible Gadget Lures Mosquitos Into A Death Trap! Tabs, Fri., July 3, 2020

Trump Hairball Brad Parscale Says Trump Actually Winning, Bless His Heart

OANN Cooked Up A Poll For President Trump To Snort, Shoot, Smoke, Or Pop. It'll Make You Feel Good!

Tucker Carlson Knows What's A Real Virus, And It Is All These Angry Black People

RNC Pays Big Bucks To Former 'Apprentice' Producer, For Convention Stuff. And Things!

QAnon Candidates Keep Winning Primaries, Because There's No Such Thing As 'Too Fringe' For The Right

Seattle: Cops Chop CHOP, Raze CHAZ

Maybe Trump Just Loves Putin More Than He Loves American Troops

Remember That Charlie Sheen 'Winning' Thing All Those Years Ago? Oh Nothing, Just June Jobs Numbers

GOP Senators Don't Want All Those Imaginary People In DC Voting

Trump Keeps Claiming Russian Bounties 'Unverified.' We Do Not Think It Means What He Thinks It Means.

Weird Dilbert Guy Says Joe Biden To Most Dangerous Game The White People, That Sounds Just Like Old Joe

Oh No, Donald Trump Hates Ivanka's Husband Again

Trump Just Gonna Give COVID-19 The Silent Treatment Until It Behaves Itself

Decisions That Scream 'I'm Bad With Money'! Tabs, Thurs., July 2, 2020

New York Times Went On A Cletus Safari, But Cletus Was Not There

Cops Killed Elijah McClain, Busted Up Vigil In His Honor, Took Photos Mocking His Death

An Obituary For The Separation of Church And State

Nutty Idea: How About 'Rona Unemployment Benefits That Last As Long As 'Rona Unemployment?

Tucker Carlson Is White America's Shepherd, They Shall Not Want. His Rod And His Staff Shall Comfort Them.

No, Wearing A Mask Isn’t Some 'Secular Elite' Cult Thing. We Just Don’t Want To Die.

Election Roundup: Oklahoma Hearts Obamacare!

Texas Lt Gov Dan Patrick Ain't Taking Medical Advice From That Pinko Fauci

Laura Ingraham Warns Biden Will Erect Statues Of Black People, Are You Frightened Yet?

'Any Commander-In-Chief With A Spine Would Be Stomping The Living Sh*t Out Of Some Russians Right Now'

As PPP Ends, Marco Rubio Wonders What To Do With $130 Billion Left Over ... Sometime ... In The Future

The Rich? Joe Biden Gonna Eat 'Em And They Will Say 'Eat Us, Joe Biden! Eat Us!' But Not In A Sex Way

Hey, Jeff Sessions, Henry Louis Gates Jr. Isn’t ‘Some Criminal,’ You Racist POS

Diamond, Silk, And An FBI Sexxx Play: Trump's Big Day Of NOT Learning About Putin's Murder Bounties!

Mississippi’s Goddamn Racist Flag Is History

Which Disney Princess Are You! Tabs, Wed., July 1, 2020

Shorter Senate GOP: RUSSIA IF YOU'RE LISTENING HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP!

White House Denies Russian Bounty Story, But *Turns Out* The NYT Knows A Guy In Afghanistan

Shorter Dr. Fauci Senate COVID-19 Testimony: YIKES!

SD Gov. Kristi Noem Will Not Be Social Distancing For Mt. Rushmore Fart-Lighting Party With Trump

A Short, Stupid Story About How Trump Was Too Busy Golfing To Delete His Latest 'White Power' Tweet

Steve Doocy Has Non-Insane Suggestion: Trump Could Wear A Mask, Maybe?

Say It Loud: We’re (Finally) Uppercase Black And Proud

Trump And Internet Nazis Got No More Free Speach

'Dear Sh*t-Fer-Brains': Supreme Court Justices' Sad-Mad Abortion Dissents!

OPEN THE F*CKING BIN LADEN VAULT

Trump Gonna Be So Mad About Russian Bounty On US Troops, Once Anybody Tells Him!

Gun-Toting St. Louis Lawyers Aren't Regular Gun-Toters, They're Cool Gun-Toters!

Michele Bachmann Knows How To Fix COVID, Because Yeah She Does

Is President Beauregard Trump Glad North Won Civil War? Kayleigh McEnany Too Offended To Say!

Forced Birthers So Upset About SCOTUS Decision They Can't Remember Why They Were There In The First Place

17 Cover Songs That Are Better Than The Originals! Tabs, Tues., June 30, 2020

Trump Worried About Being Remembered As Loser, Haha Too Late

White House Declares Flawless Victory Over COVID, Except For One Or Two Flickering 'Embers.' No, Really.

Advertisers Dumping Facebook Like A Common Myspace

Gun Companies Get In On The Boogaloo, Market To Dopes Who Want Another Civil War

Princeton Finally Realizes Woodrow Wilson Was Racist POS

Weird Dilbert Guy Claims 'Dilbert' TV Show Got Canceled Because He's White

Which Dumb Nickname For Joe Biden Will Make Voters Forget Trump Is President?

Is Trump Too Stupid To Read Briefings About Putin Paying For American Scalps? Or Just Too Lazy?

Supreme Court Saves Abortion, Citing Legal Doctrine Of 'WE F*CKING SAID THAT ALREADY IN 2016!'

Jared Kushner’s BFF Van Jones Thinks Trump’s Police Reform Is Just Awesome

Jordan Peterson Is Back, And He's Still An Idiot

Looks Like Trump Campaign Really Made COVID-19 Great Again At Tulsa Rally

Goodbye, Racist Mississippi Flag, Goodbye!

The 27 Worst Things You'll Eat At A Wedding! Tabs, Mon. June 29

Far-Right Militia Somehow Seduced Into Super Racist Sing-A-Long By Sacha Baron Cohen

Oh No! Vengeful Republicans Are Gonna Tear Down Our Precious Satanic Statues That Don't Exist!

President Klan Robe Retweets Video Of Supporter Shouting ‘White Power!’

What The Hell Do These Anti-Mask People Think Our Endgame Is Here?

Anti-Woman, Anti-Voting Rights Judge Confirmed As Trump's 200th Federal Judge

All Fun And Games Until The My Pillow Guy Says The Antichrist Is Coming

Russia Maybe Tried To Pay Taliban Militants To Kill U.S. Troops, Trump Don't Care

Bill Barr Wonders Why Anyone Even Cares About Cops Killing Black People

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is Trolling Baby

Anti-Mask Lady Harassed Starbucks Employee, Now Wants A Piece Of His GoFundMe Action

'Reopen Maryland' Man Finds Karma's A Bitch. And So Is Corona.

Nunes Can't Sue Twitter Over Cow, Stays All Pissy Anyhow

Nobody Love Trump But His Mother (And She Could Be Jivin' Too)

Trump Asks Supreme Court To Hurry Up And Strip Healthcare From 23 Million Americans

The Chicks Just Drove Old Dixie Down

Tom Cotton Presents: 86 Ways To Say DC Has Too Many Black People To Be A State

CDC Chief Says Actual COVID-19 Infections Ten Times Higher, No Big Deal

Do Californians Dream Of Electric Trucks?

Turns Out Bill Barr's Been Ratf*cking SDNY From The Jump. Yeah, Don't Faint.

Anti-Choice Terrorist Eric Rudolph Regrets Nothing, Appeals Life Sentence Anyway

Donald Trump Is Not A Civilian. He Is Also Not A Cupcake.

He Saw It On Fox News, Episode 6,918,867,376,619

Most Beautiful Female Athletes In The World! Tabs, Fri., June 26, 2020

Oh To Have The Confidence Of This *Particular* Mediocre SEC Head!

Florida Men Sad Racist Monument Was Moved, Even Sadder When Court Tells Them To Suck It

Donald Trump Rescues Lobster-Men From Barack Obama's Trade War With China

Unelected QAnoners Take Oath Of Office, Post Weird, Sad Videos Of It

Judiciary Whistleblower Hearing Dragged Ass. Get It Together, Judiciary Committee!

Buh-Bye Awful Old Sportsball Racist Marge Schott!

Crazy Racist Asshole Who Used To Be NYC Mayor Can Go F**k Himself

Chow Down On Your Coronavirus Sammich, America!

North Carolina Cops Share Fantasy Of Killing Black People In Coming Civil War, Get Fired

New York Times Polls Say Trump Is Bigly F*ckin' Loser Who's Gonna Bigly F*ckin' Lose

Morons Won’t Let You Cover God’s 'Wonderful Breathing System' With The Devil’s Masks

DC Judge Neomi Rao Dismisses Flynn Case. She Can Haz SCOTUS Nom Now?

Ahmaud Arbery’s Killers Indicted, Take First Step To Hell

SD Gov. Kristi Noem Vows No ​Ruffians Shall Pull Down Mount Rushmore

Meet Madison Cawthorn, The Hot Garbage Who Might Replace Mark Meadows In Congress, He's Garbage, The End

Don't Clean Your Home Again Until You've Read This! Tabs, Thurs., June 25, 2020

Trump Nom Anthony Tata Pulled A Nuge, Forged Court Order, Is Be Best People

Let’s Watch Kamala Harris Slap John Cornyn Upside The Head For Five Minutes

Jamaal Bowman *PROBABLY* Your New AOC, Everyone Say Hiiiii Jamaal Bowman Hiiiii!

Whistleblowers 'Bout To Burn Bill Barr's Sh*t DOWN, Y'all. A Liveblog!

Bill Barr: Come For The Trump Cover-Ups, Stay For The REEFER MADNESS!

Oh Look It's The 'Paul Is Dead' George Floyd Conspiracy Theory :(

Just Look At This Fool Talking About Aunt Jemima At Trump’s AZ Klan Rally

President Super-Spreader Went To Arizona

Bill Barr Ratf*cked The Ratf*cker's Case, Roger Stone Prosecutor Will Testify

Staten Island Assistant Principal Thinks ‘Privilege’ Is Black People With Sneakers, Headphone Technology

TFW Trump Accuses Obama Of Treason And Everybody Is Like *GIANT WANKING MOTION*

One Thing All Liars Have In Common, Brace Yourself! Tabs, Wed., June 24, 2020

Trump Campaign Idiot Brad Parscale Might Have To Find Cheaper Bed To Sh*t In Soon

TAMPONGHAZI: It's The Latest Assault On Cops That Absolutely Positively 100% Really Happened!

Maggie Haberman Laments Joe Biden’s ‘Flawed’ Campaign That’s Beating Trump’s Ass

Now That's What We Call A Purge

Is Anybody Even Scared Of Bill Barr Anymore?

Someone (Chanel Rion) Doing Trump-Style Tulsa Rally Math (High AF)

Bye-Bye Legal Immigrants, Economy, Trump Is Bored Of Both Of You

Trump Licks COVID-19 By Cracking Down On Those Villains At The CDC

AZ Sen. Martha McSally Gonna Give You $4,000 For Your COVID-19 VACAY!

President Stable Genius Wants To Challenge Joe Biden To Feats Of Strength, ID'ing 'Camel'

Satanic Nazi Soldier Tried To Help Satanic Nazi Friends Kill His Army Unit

Think Your Book Is So Great, John Bolton? Well, Sarah Huckabee Sanders Wrote Book OF YOU!

New York Cops Fix PR Issues By Framing Innocent Shake Shack Milkshakes

Trump Arizona Rally Church Bleached All The COVID Out Of The Air, Isn't That Super?

At Least ​7 US Congressmen Dated Minors In High School! Tabs, Tues., June 23, 2020

'Fox & Friends': What Is The Trump Campaign, A IDIOT?

Kayleigh McEnany: Racist Term 'Kung Flu' Only Way We’d Know COVID-19 Came From China

TN Newspaper Sorry For Running Ad Claiming 'Islam' Will Be Nuking Nashville In The Near Future

Bill Barr Declares Victory In SDNY Fight, Heads Home To Ice His Balls

Sorry, Bigots, NASCAR’s Bubba Wallace Ain’t Afraid Of Your Noose

Trump, Translated: Whatever My Niece Knows About Me Is So Bad I Made Her Sign An NDA

Mopey Loser Moping About Losing Election Four Months In Advance

Trump Campaign Tulsa Post-Mortem: Those Kids Didn’t Tank Rally, We’re Just *That* Stupid!

Blessed Day! John Bolton Is In A Heap Of Sh*t.

Happy Father's Day, Here's Trump Trade Idiot Peter Navarro!

Dinesh D'Souza Sad People Aren't Shot For Throwing Paint On Statues Like They Are In India

Let’s F*ck Up Statues Of Slave Owners Every Juneteenth!

The Proud Boys Are Looking For Love And Want To Know Your Bra Size

SC GOP Sen. Tim Scott Out-Clarence Thomases Ben Carson On Racism

22 Better Days To Stop Sniffing Glue, Tabs, Mon., June 22, 2020

Anti-LGBTQ Hate Group Kicked Off AmazonSmile, Will Have To Find New Way To Fund Bigotry

​Wonkette Book Club: How 'Leaders' Turned Hurricane Katrina Into A Catastrophe

President Grand Dragon Confesses To Criminal Negligence Before Practically Tens Of People

This Is Your Official Thread For Mocking Trump's Tulsa Coronarally!

'Ex-Gay' Org Disbands A Year After Founder Comes Out As Currently Gay

Meanwhile At The Justice Department, Everything Is ON FIRE

Literal Fashion Police Arrest Woman For Wearing 'I Can't Breathe' Shirt At Trump Rally

Covidiots To Celebrate Massive Spike In Coronavirus Cases With 'No Mask Day' Today

Boogaloo Boys Will Be Boogaloo Boys?: The Right Doesn't Seem Too Broken Up About Slain Cop Anymore

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is In The Club!

Watch Donald Trump Jr. Interview Daddy And Drink Every Time Junior Craves Daddy's Love: A Drinking Game!

SEC Doesn't Want To Look At Mississippi's Ugly Traitor Flag Anymore

KY Cop Suffers Career Setback After Killing Breonna Taylor In Her Own Home

John Roberts Would Love To Call Strike For You, Trump, But You Have To Throw Ball Inside The Stadium

If FEMA Wanted COVID-19 Tests To Be 'Sterile' or 'Usable' It Should Have Said So!

Iowa Women Set To Wish Trump AND Joni Ernst To The Cornfield

Georgia Election F**kery: Cast Your Ballot, Win Coronavirus Prizes!

Trump's Bellyaching Over New Fox News Poll HATH BEGUNNETH!

Tennessee Senate Locked The Doors And Banned Abortion Last Night

Reporters Went Looking For Racist Cops Online. You'll Definitely Guess What They Found!

Trump's Reelection Strategy? Vote Suppression And Murdering Downballot Republicans.

Juneteenth 2020: The Important Event Nobody Had Heard Of Before Trump Made It So Famous

Tucker Carlson And Matt Gaetz Talk About Discrimination Against Whites, With Nestor!

The Weirdest Ways People Discovered Their Partners Cheating! Tabs, Fri., June 19, 2020

We Read President Batsh*t McDumb's Wall Street Journal Interview So You Don't Have To

Matt Gaetz SO MAD Cedric Richmond Disrespected His Imaginary Black Kids

How Great Is Trump's Economy? It's 'Ten Hour Line To See A Human About Unemployment' Great!

Hero Trump Lady Not Gonna Wear A Mask, 'Cause She's Not Even A Porn Burglar!

DOJ Says Bolton Book Isn't Speech, It's, Uhhhh, *Stolen Goods*

Atlanta Cops Won’t Show Up For Work If They Can’t Even Shoot Suspects In The Back

Yes All The Dipsh*ts Are Still Freaking Out About Masks

Mustachioed A-Hole Says Known Imbecile Is Imbecile

Joe Biden Performs Live Autopsy On Donald Trump During Epic COVID-19 Speech

Well-Rounded QAnon Kook Marjorie Taylor Greene Also A Gross Racist

Anti-Vax Mom Asks Internet How To Protect Her Unvaccinated Child. Tabs, Thurs., June 18, 2020

John Bolton Book Excerpts Are Dropping, And They Are BUGF*CK

Where'd All The Stimmy Loans Go? You're Not Allowed To Find Out.

Minnesota Freedom Fund Fails Richard Pryor Challenge, Can’t Spend $30 Million In 30 Days

Shook Cops Seek To Shiv Shake Shack, Fake Take Makes Waves

Trump Mad Enough About Niece's Book To Fall Off A Ramp

President Wiggum Signs Executive Order Giving Cops Free Tanks If They Only Kill Black People *Sometimes*

Trump Sues John Bolton Over Upcoming Tell-All, And Yes, THEY CAN BOTH LOSE

Mike Pence Told The Truth About Coronavirus. ​'Twas An Accident, Sir, It Shan't Happen Again!

American Hero Tom Cotton Wins Thrilling Battle With Random Twitter Intern

Guess What Donald Trump Thinks Is The Civil Rights Issue Of All Time?

Nebraska Democrats Dump Gross Harassy Senate Nominee, Ew

Celebrities Who Treat Waiters Like Trash! Tabs, Wed., June 17, 2020

Tucker Carlson Furious Black Lives Matter More Popular Than [READS LIST OF WHITE PEOPLE]

Defund The Fart Police!

Laura Ingraham BIG MAD At Dr. Fauci, Scoff Scoff Snort Snort Dramatic Eye-Rolls PFFFFFT!

Megachurch Pastor Sorry He Tried To Replace 'White Privilege' With 'White Blessing'

White New Mexico Militia Just Very Concerned For Barbaric Spanish Despot's Heritage, Not Hate

FDA Says OOOPSIE, Pulls Emergency Hydroxychloroquine, And Fox News Is PISSED

Jesus Can See Mike Pence Lying About Coronavirus

Supreme Court Won't Hear Gun Cases, Liberty Abolished Yet Again

You Can Still Be Fired For Discriminatory Reasons, As Long As Your Boss Doesn't Tell You

Tulsa To Trump: Stay Home

The Liquid In The Chicken Bag Isn't Water. Learn What Your Family Must Do Today. Tabs, Tues. June 16, 2020

Trump Reelection Campaign Now Just Flaming ‘Everything’s Fine’ Meme

Breaking Down The LGBTQ Decision: It's A Conservative-On-Conservative Cage Match!

A Children's Treasury Of Bigots Who Will Really Miss Doing Employment Discrimination To LGBTQ People

Larry Kudlow Predicts Yooge Recovery And 'Solid 2021.' What Could Go Wrong?

Trump's Niece Hates Him As Much As Everyone Else Does, Wrote A Book About It

How Are States And Cities Trying To Unf*ck The Police This Week?

Anything In Seattle Called ‘CHAZ’ Probably Not As Dangerous As Fox News, Trump Claim

Supreme Court Just Made Everybody Gay And Transgender Again, Thanks A Lot, Neil Gorsuch!

Trumpland Superlawyer Jenna Ellis Gonna Sue CNN For Mean Polling, You Bet!

Woke NY Media Should Start Treating Black Women Employees Like Their Lives Matter

Colorado Man Arrested After Holding 'Antifa' Roofing Salesmen At Gunpoint

Ben Carson Now Defending Dead White Supremacists Instead Of Just Working For Live One

Matt Gaetz Says Ron Perlman Is A Nazi Because He Played One On TV — But We Know The Truth!

White Busybodies Call Cops On Man Writing ‘Black Lives Matter’ On His Own Home

15 Things You Should Do Before Exorcising Your House, Tabs, Mon., June 15, 2020

Right-Wing Media Outraged Google Wiped Winston Churchill Off The Internet (They Didn't)

Georgia's OTHER Senate Race Might Not Be A Cakewalk For GOP, Either

Atlanta Mayor Actually Holds Police Accountable For Killing Man In Wendy’s Parking Lot

Conspiracy Theorists Celebrate 'Make Up Weird Sh*t About Bill Gates And Pretend It's True Day'

Trump Administration Really Wants Doctors To Discriminate Against Trans People For Some Reason

Street Preacher, Electronic Dance Artist, Bull Rider Walk Into Bar, Sue DC For 'Black Lives Matter'

Believe It Or Not, Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is Walking On Air

Tucker Carlson Heard About Some Boobies And Now He Is So Mad

Black Lives Matter Goes Mainstream

Propaganda Outlet OANN Yanks Pro-Trump Poll For Being TOO STUPID, EVEN FOR THEM

Trump Blacksplains To Fox Anchor That 'Shoot The Looters' Said By *Whole Other Racist*

Please, Andrew Cuomo, The Columbus Statues Are Embarrassing. Let Them Go.

Let's Say Buh-Bye To 'Qualified Immunity'!

Best GOP Platform Ever Says 'Current President'​​ Really Sucks

Trump Loves Black Folks So Much He Just Loves Them Right To Death

Iowa Mail-In Voting Worked So Well, Republicans Promise #NEVERAGAIN

Oh Man, There’s Gonna Be A QAnon Lady In Congress, Probably

Become An Investor In The Senator Kelly Loeffler Company. Operators Standing By, CALL NOW!

Chairman Of ​Joint Chiefs Stays Up All Night Reading Mean Tweets, Questioning His Life Choices

Starbucks Fairly Sure Black Coffee Matters, But Lives? Meh.

13 Voodoo Spells That Really Work, Tabs, Fri., June 12, 2020

Some Good News For Week 176 Of Hell

Trump's Best Boy Lindsey Graham Cooks Up WITCH HUNTS On Demand

Everything Bigger In Texas, Including Coronavirus

They Know He's Going To Lose

All Our Base Are Belong To Dead Confederates

San Jose PD Shoot Own Bias Trainer In Nuts Because What’s Even The Point Anymore?

Is The Trump Campaign Bad At Law? Or Bad At Publicity? Yes, They Are!

Joe Biden Says Trump Will Try To Steal Election, Which Is Factcheck True

President Klan Robe Will Honor The Blacks With White Supremacist Rally In Tulsa On Juneteenth

Tennessee Gonna Keep Bust Of Ol' Racist Traitor War Crimer In State Capitol, Because 'Heritage'

Tulsa Cop Just Wondering If Police Aren’t Shooting Enough Black People Per Capita

Real Stories Of Called-Off Weddings! Tabs., Thurs., June 11, 2020

Is This Post About Sex? Or Is It About MADE YOU LOOK?

Judge Reviewing Michael Flynn Case Says Sentence The Motherf*cker Already

Children's Remains Found In Mormon Doomsday Writer's Backyard, One Identified As Wife's Son

HBO Max Pulls 'Gone With The Wind,' And Now White People Don't Even Exist Anymore :(

Kayleigh McEnany Says Guy Buffalo Cops Kicked Sh*t Out Of Is Big Pottymouth, So ... Um ... YEAH!

After 34 Years, Olof Palme Gets Very Own Lee Harvey Oswald

NY Police Union Warns That Beatings Will Continue Until Their Morale Improves

Tucker Carlson Brutally Attacked By Muppet

Brave GOP Senators Can't Comment On Pres's Insane Hoax Tweets Because TRUMP WHO?

Black Georgians Get Special Preview Of '2020 Voter Suppression: The Movie'

Let's All Stare At This Completely Bananapants New QAnon Map Until Our Eyeballs Bleed!

Ghost Of MLK Was Busy So White Nationalist Stephen Miller Will Write Trump’s Racial Healing Speech

Couple Who Waits 9 Years To Open Wedding Present Gets A Rude Awakening. Tabs, Wed., June 10, 2020

Bill Barr Says Trump Just Regular Bunker Baby, Not Inspector Bunker Baby :(

Donald Trump Explains Old Man Needed Head-Cracking For Being Antifa SPY

Tucker Carlson: Black Lives Matter Not Even About Black Lives! Laura Ingraham: Maybe It's About Gays!

Florida Union Pres Wanted To Recruit Wayward Cops, But The Sheriff Said 'No Thank You'

Trump Hires Poll Unskewer John McLaughlin To Take On CNN, Numbers, Deep State Math

Dem Bill To Outlaw Chokeholds, No-Knock Raids, 'Qualified Immunity' For Bad Cops, What A Bunch Of Republicans

Philly's Worst Cheer For Inspector Joseph Bologna, Who Brutally Assaulted Protesters

You Know That Thing When The Baby Won't Stop Screaming Unless You Put The TV On A Certain Channel?

Ben Shapiro Says His 'Space Of Comfort' Has Been Destroyed By Politics In Sports

Trump Gets His Glorious Recession In Just One Term. USA! USA!

Rudy Giuliani, Bernard Kerik Gonna Teach Black Folks How To Stay Calm, Enjoy The Police Brutality

When Soviet Assassins Came After John Wayne, He Apparently Knew Exactly What To Do. Tabs, Tues., June 9, 2020

Is That A Butterscotch In Mike Huckabee's Pocket, Or Is It HIS WRATH?

Oregon GOP Senate Nominee Wants Martial Law To Control The Obama-Soros Antifa Supersoldiers

We Guess We Should Say Something About This 'Lady G' Business

'Defund Police'​ Means Fix Community Problems, Not 'Let The Joker Run Gotham'

Mitt Romney At A Black Lives Matter Protest? Sure, 2020, Why Not.

Trump Healing America With Race Speech Best Trump Idea Since 'Bleach'

What Do Derek Chauvin, Trump, And Kayleigh McEnany Have In Common? No, Besides The Obvious.

John Bolton: Let's Just Do It And Be Legends Man

Ben Carson Removes Own Brain On Live TV While Discussing Trump, Racism

Lies With A Dash Of Pepper Balls

Kimberly Jones Is Done Playing a Rigged Game Of Monopoly With America

Uh-Oh! Are Conservatives Trying To Cancel Culture A Rhode Island Donut Shop?

New York Times Boldly Replaces Op-Ed Editor With Someone Who’ll Actually Read Its Garbage Takes

GoFundMe Tells Candace Owens To Go Fu** Herself After She Tries To Raise Money For Racist Bar Owner

We’ll Believe NFL Is Serious About Black Lives Mattering Once Colin Kaepernick Is Back On The Field

Real Stories Of Called-Off Weddings! Tabs, Mon., June 8, 2020

Incel Wanted To Blow Up 'Hot Cheerleaders,' Blew Up His Own Hand Instead

Wonkette Book Club: Rescuing Each Other

Buffalo Cops Crushed To Learn They Can’t Go Around Beating Up Old Men

Just What We All Need Right Now: Ivanka Trump Talking About Her Personal Growth

Medical Supply Company Tosses All Swabs Made During Trump's Visit. Wonder Why!

Laura Ingraham Won't Let The Weather Underground Dethrone God OR Kidnap Patty Hearst

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is A Gas, Gas, Gas

Joe Biden Did A Gaffe, Oh Wait No He Didn't, GET HIM ANYWAY, NEW YORK TIMES!

Cop Saves His Favorite Special Proud Boys From Getting Teargassed Like Commoners

Bill Barr Told Us He Was Gonna Do This

WHEW! Thank God Trump Fixed The Economy!

DC Mayor Muriel Bowser Wants Those MFing Troops Off Her MFing Streets!

Trump Pretty Sure George Floyd Looking Down From Heaven And Smiling, About The Jobs Report

What? VIP QAnon 'Washington Insider' Man Just Some Rando Dude From Italy? Nooo.

Wash State Hillbilly F*cks Terrorize Multiracial Family Who Must Be 'Antifa'

President Bunker Baby Had A Rough Night

Friday Poll Porn: This One Goes Up To Eleven!

How To Spot A Garbage Poll In Five Easy Steps

Bay Area Cop Shoots Kneeling Guy, May Get Away With It Because America

TX Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick: God Just Gonna Keep Killing Black People Until We All Love Him Enough

Stop Using Toilet Paper! Tabs, Fri., June 5, 2020

GOP-Led Senate Intel Committee Did Things While You Weren't Looking. They Were ... Good Things?

Open The Door For Your Mystery Troops

Ahmaud Arbery's Last Moments Filled With More Racism Than We Knew, But As Much As We Expected

SecDef Mark Esper Briefly Grows Pair, Presents It As Love Gift To Dear Leader Trump

Rand Paul Demands Anti-Lynching Bill Cover Only Highest-Quality Lynchings

New York Times HAD To Let Tom Cotton Write About The Joys Of Fascist Occupation, Because JOURNALISM

591 Workers At Tyson Pork Plant Test Positive For Covid-19. Is That Bad? It Sounds Like It Could Be Bad.​

Los Angeles Mayor F**ks The Police

All Fun And Games Until Jim Mattis Literally Compares Trump To Hitler

How The World Sees The US Just Now

Celebs Who Farted On Live TV. Tabs, Thurs., June 4, 2020

President Addresses Nation On Police Reform. No, A Real President.

Minnesota AG Keith Ellison Charges Derek Chauvin With Second Degree Murder Because He’s A Murderer

Trump Starting To Doubt SecDef Mark Esper's Commitment To Fascist Bible Gassing

Gather Round For Yr. Wonkette’s Election Night Roundup!

Park Police Didn't Use Tear Gas ON Protesters, They Used Tear Gas WITH Protesters

Trump Not Bunker Baby, Trump INSPECTOR BUNKER BABY!

Trump Demands North Carolina Allow Superspreader Convention, Or He's Taking His Germs And Going Home!

Ferguson Just Elected Black Lady Mayor. Yes, That Ferguson.

How Are Republicans Stopping Trump's Lawless Brutality Today?

Idaho Wingnuts Fret Imaginary Hordes Of Antifa Super Soldiers Coming To Get Them

Defense Secretary Mark Esper Is SQUEEEEEEEEALING

Join Us In A Festive Jig On Steve King’s Political Grave

Everything You Wanted To Know About 'Can Trump Insurrection Act Us' But Were Correctly Afraid To Ask

Mississippi Prosecutor Sorry/Not Sorry For Hilarious Joke About Protesters Dying Of COVID-19

A Lot Of Celebrities Are Being Useless Right Now. Tabs, June 3, 2020

Facebook Factcheck: Fred Trump Didn't Go To That KKK Rally, He Simply Refused To Leave!

Bill Barr Got DIRTY Yesterday

In Sucking Donkey Balls, New York Times A Winner

Goodbye, Monuments To Confederate Treason, Goodbye!

Trump Pentagon Goons Shocked To Find Selves Covered In Sh*t After Lying Down With Trump

​George Floyd Autopsies Find Homicide, Louisville Fires Police Chief In Killing Of BBQ Chef

Mike Pompeo Tear-Gasses Irony, Rolls Over It With A Tank

Why Did The Chickensh*t Cross The Road?

Nazis Made Fake Antifa Account On Twitter To Stir Up Some Violence, Like They Do

Joe Biden Said A Dumb Thing But Not The Dumb Thing People Said He Said

Trump Wants Putin As His Date To G7, Boris Johnson Says 'No Despots' Means NO DESPOTS

Trump Big Mad That Folks Are Bailing Out Protesters While All His Buddies Are Stuck In Jail

Jaclyn Smith Is Almost 90, This Is Her Now! Tabs, Tues., June 2, 2020

Is Tom Cotton A Fascist Or Just Really F*ckin' Dumb? Yep.

Chief Justice John Roberts Can't Even Pretend To Be That Stupid

Colorado Man Gets Surprise Coronabill For $800,000

Under Lockdown, El Salvador Gangs Kinder, Gentler Extorters Than US Banks

White House Bunker Baby VERY ANGRY BIG MAD AT GOVERNORS GRRR ARGH!

Keith Ellison Prosecuting George Floyd's Murderer, So That's Your Good News For Today

The Lincoln Project Sets Fire To Confederate Flag In New Anti-Trump Ad

White Guy Doesn't See Systemic Racism

Cops Seize Gun Nuts' Guns, Ruin Perfectly Good Chance For Civil War

Turns Out Michael Flynn's Perfect Transcript Is ... Not So Perfect

Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler Talks To Black Person, Learns City Kinda Racist

America’s Senator Doug Jones Gives Fist-Pumping Speech On Racial Justice Via Selfie-Cam

What Would America Look Like If Ruby Ridges And Wacos Happened Every Other Week?

Derek Chauvin Killed George Floyd. Is That So Hard To Say?

Senator Brian Schatz Thinks Maybe Police Should Stop Playing G.I. Joe All Day

New York Times Can’t Help Noticing Joe Biden Focused On Black People In His Black People Speech

Taylor Swift Fans Attack Burger King Over Tweets! Tabs, Mon., June 1, 2020

Amnesty International Would Like The United States To Demilitarize Its Cops, Please

Minnesota's Other Lady Senator, Tina Smith, Runs Against Very Garbage Man

Assholes Stir Up S**t At George Floyd Protests While Police Shoot Reporters With Rubber Bullets

Good For This Company Selling 5G Conspiracy Theorists Magic $350 USB Keys

President Of The United States Threatens To Use 'Vicious Dogs' And 'Ominous Weapons' On Protesters

Lindsey Graham Attempts A Court-Packin'

Something Is Definitely Up With All The White People Doing Vandalism At The George Floyd Protests

Republicans Rip Up Mail-In Ballots In Really Dumb Act Of Devotion To Trump

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is Damn Glad It's Over

Perfect Christian 'Ex-Lesbian' Says Coronavirus A Blessing From Jesus, Because Here's Why

Thank God Almighty, Derek Chauvin Is Arrested At Last

Ex-Navy Chaplain/Wingnut Suggests Black People Protest Other Black People Instead Of Racist Cops

That Sh*thead Is Talking. A Liveblog!

Hero Minnesota Cops Arrest Black CNN Reporter For Reporting Blackly

White House Pretty Sure You Can't Spread Coronavirus If You're Singing To Jesus

Laura Ingraham To Black Folks: Trump Loves You And Also Too Believes F*ck Tha Po-lice!

Roger Stone Is Headed To The Hoosegow. Unless Trump Pardoned Him In The Last Five Minutes.

Black People Oppressing The Police Again

Gonna Be A Looooooooooong Friday

US Just Giving Coronavirus Medical Supply Contracts ​To Any Old Telemarketer Or Arms Merchant

Now These Patriots Won't Allow YOU In Their Stores WITH Masks, Because Oh F*ck It

Terrifying New Law May Be Total Disaster For Savers! Tabs, Fri., May 29, 2020

President Biden Remembers 100,000 American Lives Lost To Coronavirus

Mike Pompeo Using Government Resources To Boost His Political Ambitions? UNPOSSIBLE!

Texas Supreme Court Suggests You Just Lie On Your Absentee Ballot App

Bill Barr Gonna Unmask The Obamagates For Trump, Because That's What Daddy Wants

Minneapolis Raging, Tucker Carlson A Raging Dick

Mark Zuckerberg, Who Once Gave Rare Butt Cricket STD To Entire Shopping Mall, Says Fact-Checking Bad

PA Republicans Surely Not Secretly Trying To Infect Democrats With COVID-19, No They'd Never!

White House Will Fix Economy By Covering Up Economic Data. Noble Prize?

Laura Ingraham: When Did Joe Biden Fart & When Did He Know About It?

Sure Are A Bunch Of Supergeniuses Packing Together For 'Race Car'

Sean Hannity Much More Worried About COVID-19 When It's Redneck Kids In Missouri Spreading It

Virginia, Meet Your Badass Next Governor, Jennifer Carroll Foy

Doctor Tells Man He's Infertile, Why Do His Three Sons Look So Familiar. Tabs, Thurs., May 28, 2020

Trump's First 100,000 Coronavirus Deaths Are In The Bag, So Like ... Should He Eat Insulin?

Court Reminds Conservatives For 9,278,428th Time The First Amendment DOES NOT APPLY To Businesses

Florida Felon Poll Tax Struck Down!

Postman Who Changed Dem Ballot Applications To GOP Was Just Funnin', Jeez

Satan’s Sister Laura Ingraham Pinkie Swears That COVID-19 Threat Is So Yesterday

Bill Barr Knows Who Is TOTALLY EXONERATED Of Insider Trading, And It's Not Richard Burr!

KY Gov Andy Beshear Thinks You Terrorists Are A Bunch Of Terrorists

OK Gov. Kevin Stitt Will Keep Guns In Dangerous People’s Hands Over Your Dead Body

Trump Keeps America Great By Blowing Up His Own FISA Bill

If Twitter Is 'Silencing' Trump, WHY CAN WE STILL HEAR HIM WHINING?

When We Say ‘Black Lives Matter’ We Mean Cops Shouldn’t Crush Our Necks With Their Knee. Was That Unclear?

Wedding Planner Guy Might Not Be Best Choice For $39 Million USDA Contract

Proud Boys Tore Down A COVID-19 Memorial, Because Caring That People Died Is For Commies

Democrats Want This Coin Banned! Claim Yours Here! Tabs, May 27, 2020

Will Trump Move RNC To Georgia If Brian Kemp Gives Him Sexxxy Lapdance? Maaaaybe!

Jared Kushner Knows Black Voters Hate The Word 'Freedom,' But They Love Empty Slogans

Why We Should All Start Thinking About A Four-Day Workweek, Including Us

Twitter Says When The President Tweets It, That Means It's Not Illegal

The UK's Dominic Cummings Scandal: All Right, What's All This Then?

Icky CO Restaurant That Got In Trouble For Mother's Day Antics Sues State For Mimosa Discrimination

Welcome To Our Four Millionth Story About Yet Another GOP Plan To Cut Taxes For The Rich

Central Park Racist Lady Very Sorry For Being Such Central Park Racist Lady. We Bet.

Trump's Econ Loon Predicts 'Human Capital Stock' Will Gladly Sacrifice Its Health For His Glorious Economy

Dr. Birx Is Concerned, Mildly Concerned

The Food You Love Will Reveal Which Fictional Man You Belong With. Tabs, Tues., May 26, 2020

Memorial Day 2020: Let The Summer Of COVID-19 Begin!

Super Normal Patriotic Americans Hang Effigy Of Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear

Trump Spends Weekend Golfing, Getting In Touch With His Inner Alex Jones, Calling Women Fat Skanks

Wonkette Book Club: Keeping Calm, Carrying On

Ms. Someone From Somewhere Has A Good Shot At Unseating Iowa Sen. Joni Ernst

Lupus Patients Can't Get Hydroxychloroquine Now Because Morons Are Buying It All Up

Trump Wants To Force States To Reopen Churches, Put Lives At Risk For Selfish Jerks

Half Of All Fox Viewers Think Bill Gates Wants To Use COVID-19 Vaccine To Implant Microchips In Them

Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten: Sleeping In Or Inly Sleeping?

Wanna Schlaff At Old Dead Phyllis Schlafly After You Watch 'Mrs. America' Tonight? Watch The Schlaftershow!

You Can Be Heroes!

Polls: Americans Not Fans Of Trump Shooting 95,000 Dead On 5th Avenue

More F*ckery In Florida’s Unemployment System If You Can Even Believe That

Lancet Medical Journal Won't Stop Being Mean To Trump And His Magic Hydroxy Boner Pills

A Root Beer Heiress And A Bouncy House Heir Walk Into A Barber Shop

US Billionaires Made $434 Billion During Pandemic But Would Gladly Give It Up ... For More

Mike Pompeo And His Many, Many Scandals: A Helpful Guide For The Perplexed

Donald Trump Goes To Old Man Ford's Nazee Joint To Jaw About 'Good Bloodlines'

Donald Trump Positively Toward The Negative Of Having Best Brain And Goodest Words, OK?

Betsy DeVos Stealing COVID-19 Aid From Public School Peter To Pay Private School Chad

GOP Will STOP A Great Depression With One Weird Trick: Cutting Off Unemployment

Dumb Dick John Ratcliffe Confirmed As DNI, Because Nothing Matters Anymore

Wrapping His Foot In Aluminum Foil Is A Trick You Will Be Happy To Know! Tabs, Fri., May 22, 2020

Looks Like Wonkette's Your New Unemployment Office

Fly The Rapey Skies With United Airlines

South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem Asks Donald Trump To Nuke Tribes' Highway Checkpoints From Orbit

Trump Bad At Taking Corona Intel Briefings Orally, So Unless Someone Wants To Try Giving Them Anally ...

‘New York Post’ Op-Ed Demands NY Reopen RIGHT NOW Before It’s As Dead As 30,000 NYers

Kelly Loeffler's Husband Writes $1M Check To Trump PAC, Memo Line DOES NOT Mention Stock Trade Investigation

Social Media Posts ‘Reveal’ Trump-Loving MAGA Candidate Ted Howze Is A Gross Bigot

The Top Three Times Kayleigh McEnany Stepped On A Rake This Week, So Far!

Firing The Investigators Is How You Prove Everyone Is Innocent

The Polls May Not Love Trump, But The Gambling Markets Sure Do. HUH.

No, Covering Your Face To Keep Out The COVID-19 Isn’t Slavery

Thameside Beach Party Yobs Are Ruining Our Lives, Say Star Residents. Tabs, Thurs., May 21, 2020

Senate's Dumbest Republican F*cking That Hunter Biden Chicken Again

QAnon Wackadoodle Won Oregon Republican Senate Primary While No One Was Looking

TRUMP WILL NOT LET YOU CHEAT BY LETTING YOUR PEOPLE VOTE, YOU SWING STATE JERKS

Plot Twist! Sister Of Ahmaud Arbery’s Killer Also Total POS Monster

It Would Appear Donald Trump Lied About The Size Of His 'Obamagate'

Pompeo Denies Employees Were 'Walking My Dog To Sell Arms To My Dry Cleaner,' So It's Cool, Right?

Trump Screws National Guard Troops Helping With Pandemic Like Common Hotel Subcontractors

Which Branch Covidian Is The New Rosa Parks Now? Some Dumb Ass Barber In Michigan.

Nancy Pelosi Is Driving Trump Batsh*t, And She Knows It

Too Late, Martha McSally Discovers Standing By Her Man Donald Trump Was A Really Stupid Idea

Why Harry Styles Was Called A 'Consent King' By A Model From 'Watermelon Sugar.' Tabs, Wed., May 20, 2020

Very Cool 'MAGA Life Coach' Says MASKS Are For DORKS, And He Is NOT DORK, OK?

How Are We Feeling About The News That 'Jane Roe' Never Changed Her Mind About Abortion?

Stick A Fork In Grandma, Chris Cillizza Says There's 'No One Better' Than Trump At 'Getting Things Done.'

Canadian Incel Terrorist First To Actually Be Charged With Terrorism

Sing 'God Bless The USA' While 50,000 Strangers Belch Virus Into Your Mouth, At The 2020 GOP Convention!

Christ They Never Left Ahmaud Arbery Alone

Red States Cooking Their Coronavirus Data? The F*ck You Say!

Trump Thinks Taxpayers Should Be Happy To Pay Someone To Do Mike Pompeo's Dishes

Trump Taking Hydroxybonermagic 3000, Or Maybe He's Lying, I Really Don't Care, Do U?

Remember That $500 Billion Stimmy Slush Fund​? Neither Does Treas Sec Steven Mnuchin!

Shocker: Astroturf Protests Actually COVID-19 Bug-Chaser Conventions

16 Things Famous People Were Photographed Doing This Week. Tabs, Tues., May 19, 2020

Bill Barr PROBABLY Not Going To Lock Her Up Obama And Biden, PROBABLY

Energy Sec Demands Racist Banks Stop Racisming Poor ... Oil Companies, With Racism

Peter Navarro: Only Donald J. Trump Can Save Us From ‘China Virus’ He Ignored For Months

Trump Maybe Fired State Department IG To Cover Up Way More Than Mike Pompeo's Dog Poop

Hero Nursing Home Chain Did All It Could To Stop COVID-19 Except When It Didn't

Senate's Dumbest Republican Knows Why Trump Fired State Department IG, But SHHH IT'S A SECRET

Republicans Show Their Love Of The Free Market With Corporate Subsidies

Ben Sasse Bombs With Bigoted Dad Jokes In Open Mic Night Graduation Address

Flat-Earther Lady Tries To Use Sovereign Citizen Meme Logic To Get Out Of Wearing Mask, Fails

Fox News Idiot Says Barack Obama Not 'Articulate,' So That's Neat

HHS Secretary Alex Azar Is Very Bad At This

'Fox & Friends' Applauds American Patriots Boldly Spreading COVID-19

Eric Trump Knows We All Collectively Invented Pandemic So Daddy Can't Do Rallies

Fake President Trump Wishes He Was As Real As POTUS From ‘Independence Day'

Jeff Goldblum Lookalike Gets Into Epic Fight in Viral Video. Tabs, Mon., May 18, 2020

Susan Collins Is Concerned, And That Can Only Mean One Thing

Wonkette Book Club: Disaster And Decency

Insider-Trading Disney Villain Kelly Loeffler Will Lose Her Senate Seat In Either November Or January

Pastor Tony Spell Off House Arrest, Won't Comply With Orders Until He Can Ice Skate On Fire

Happy Graduation Day! Let's Watch Obama's Multiple Commencement Addresses Together!

Nice Time: Coal's Kung-Fu Is Old, And Now It Must Die

Michigan Covidiots Will Be Getting Bad Haircuts Together To Protest The Lockdown

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is Lousy With Grandbabies!

He Calls It The 'Super Duper Missile,' Because That's Just What It Is

Proud Boys Harass Fresno City Council Pres At His Home To Whine About Lockdown

WTF Is Wrong With Former Trump Doc Ronny Jackson? A Wonkette Science Theory!

Armed Thugs Close Michigan Legislature, Hooray For Democracy!

Betsy DeVos Has A Plan To Make Life Easier For Campus Rapists

PSA: IT'S STILL F*CKED UP WHEN THE PRESIDENT THREATENS TO JAIL HIS POLITICAL OPPONENTS

White House Forces CDC To Edit Reopening Recs Down To Helpful Haiku, So We're All Good Now

USDA Food Bank Program Helping America's Downtrodden Wedding Planners

Kayleigh McEnany Has Some Binders, OK? They Say 'Pandemic' On Them, OK?

Pretty Disturbing Things That Happened In Ancient Mesopotamia. Tabs, Fri., May 15, 2020

Russia Attacked Election To Help HILLARY, According To Breaking News Trump Just Found In His Butt

Oh, Michael Flynn, Judge Sullivan Has Just One More Thing

Yes, Actually, We Should Go Outside, Just Not Like A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES

Richard Burr Quit-Fired As Intel Chair For Only Purest, Non-Russia-Related Reasons, We Are Sure

Steve King Pretty Sure He's About To Be Restored To Committee Glory

GOP Demands To Know Who Listened In As All Our Foreign Adversaries Secretly Chatted Up Michael Flynn

Wisconsin’s Dumbest Flock To Bars While Still In Their Quarantine Jammies

Wisconsin Supreme Court Upholds Your Right To Die Of Coronavirus

Don't Call Senator Richard Burr's Mobile Unless You Want To Talk To The FBI

Kroger Pays CEO $21 Million After Ending Store Workers' 'Hero Bonus'

Perfect Angel KY Cops Very Mad Breonna Taylor's Boyfriend Made Them Shoot Her Dead

Your New Science Boyfriend Rick Bright Has Some Things To Say To Congress. A Liveblog!

Cannibal-Curious Alex Jones Has Sick New COVID-19 Conspiracy Theory. Wait, Where Are You Going?

18 Times Gordon Ramsay Was Bolder And Spicier Than Anything He's Ever Cooked. Tabs, Thurs., May 14, 2020

Your New Science Boyfriend Dr. Rick Bright Gonna Tell Congress Allll Trump's Corona-F*ckups Tomorrow!

Massive COVID-19 Deaths May Slightly Delay Trump Push To Deregulate Nursing Homes

It's All Fun And Games Until Coronavirus Starts Barebacking Through MAGA-Ville

White House Gonna Solve Coronavirus By ... Pretending Everyone Died In A Car Accident?

BREAKING: Voters Overwhelmingly Prefer When Their Governors Don’t Try To Kill Them

Tucker Carlson Only Man Brave Enough To Save America From Fearsome Tyrant King Dr. Fauci

Trump Calling Joe Scarborough A Murderer Won’t Make You Forget You’ve Died From COVID-19

Nancy Pelosi Wants To Give You This Shiny New Corona-Stimulus, Too Bad Mitch McConnell Is An Evil Dick

Big Lindsey Graham Donor Decides It's Time To Start Seeing Other Candidates

Huggy Jesus Meme Makes Evangelicals More Likely To Believe Trump Is Anointed By God

TikTok Went Nuts After I Said My Breast Milk Tastes Like Fruity Pebbles. Tabs, Wed., May 13, 2020

Mall Optometrist Rand Paul Doesn't Know Why Dr. Fauci Thinks He's Such An 'Expert' On Pandemics

Joe Biden Wants To Be Your FDR, So, You Know, We'd Take That

Trump Disinvited From PPE Plant For Fear His Toxic Masculinity Will Put Everyone In Danger

IDEA: What If Mitch McConnell Shut His Surly Sh*t-Mouth Instead?

Trumpers Don't See Why Bummer Media Keeps Bringing Up Unemployment And Death

Wingnut Disinformation Kills US Coronavirus Research, Great Job Guys

OYEZ TWO: Can The President Shoot A Dude? Liveblogging SCOTUS On Presidential Immunity!

President Pull-Ups Big Mad Temper Tantrum! So Angry! Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp!

OYEZ A Supreme Court LIVEBLOG Of WELL ACTUALLY Trump Is Boss Of Congress Because But His TAXES!

Tribes To South Dakota Gov: Thanks But We'd Rather NOT Drop Dead

Khloe TP’ing Kourtney’s House Amid A Toilet Paper Shortage Is A New Kardashian Low. Tabs, Tues., May 12, 2020

Everybody Hates Bill Barr And His Stupid Sh*t-Mouthed Face

Colorado Restaurant Celebrates Mother’s Day With Viral Bouquet Of COVID-19

Perdue Chicken Knows Cure For Covid Is Take Two Drumsticks, Get Your Ass Back On The Line In The Morning

Is Rep. Bobby Rush Trying To Help Bill Gates Mark Of The Beast Everyone? (No.)

OBAMAGATE! FIREMAN! RUSSIA HOAX! GARBAGE TRUCK! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

TX Salon Owner Made $500,000 With COVID-19 Shutdown PR Stunt

Church Of Holy Bleach Drinking Invokes First Amendment Right To Sell Bleach To Cure COVID-19

House Democrats Leave Big Corporations, Cruise Ships Out Of New Worker Stimulus Proposal, RUDE!

Oh, Now The GOP Cares About Deficits? Bitch, Please.

NC Sheriff's Deputy Leads Armed Mob To Black Teen’s Door Because This Is How 2020’s Gonna Roll

DA Who Shrugged Off Ahmaud Arbery’s Lynching Once Tried To Hang Black Granny For Daylight Voting Heist

Just What You Wanted For Mother's Day, Some White House Idiots Talking About Coronavirus!

COVID-19 Moves Into White House, Takes Office Down The Hall From Trump

Only The Most Hardcore Star Trek Fans Can Pass This Quiz! Tabs, Mon., May 11, 2020

Mom Always Liked Nice Things Best

Raise Less Corn, More Hell

Let's Enjoy These Nice Times With Little Richard

Kroger Decides Workers Not So Heroic After All, Ends $2 Hazard Pay For Employees

Of Course Sovereign Citizens Have A Special 'Get Out Of Wearing A Mask Free' Card

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Still Sleeping, Please Be Very Quiet

This Post Is About Ted Cruz's Gross Hair And FREEDOM, Anyway Happy Weekend!

Sorry, Bill Barr, We Will Never Not Think Of Michael Flynn As A Twice-Confessed Criminal.

White House Sends Corona Drugs To East Asscrack, Acknowledges Mistakes Were Made

Jim Bakker Had A Stroke (Allegedly) And It's YOUR FAULT (Allegedly)

Dennis Prager So Mad Minorities Rejected All The VERY NICE NAMES White People Gave Them

A 'Plandemic' Is Far More Satisfying Than A Pandemic, And That's The Problem

US Unemployment Now Nearly As Bad As GOP Said It Was Under Obama

Let’s Recall The F*ck Out Of Crazy-Ass Las Vegas Mayor Carolyn Goodman!

Bridgegate Conspirators Exonerated, Still EVIL AS F*CK

Ahmaud Arbery’s Killers Were Charged With Murder. Now The Slow March To Justice Begins.

Gross Trump Campaign Idiot Brad Parscale Can't Stop Kicking Himself In The Neckbeard

Trump Finally Has Coronavirus Testing Plan, For Himself, After Valet Tests Positive

Learn How Debbie Became Timeshare-Free! Tabs, Fri., May 8, 2020

Bill Barr Drops Case Against Michael Flynn, Just In Time For Trump/Russia No-Collusion-Palooza 2020!

Yeah, We Should Sue To Death Businesses Who Kill Us With Their COVID-19 Song

Jacob Wohl, Jack Burkman In Phone Recordin' On A Criminal Fuc*in' Conspiracy?

HHS Sec Alex Azar Gonna Call Cops On Dirty Workers For Bringing Disease Into Immaculate Slaughterhouses

Time For Today's Episode Of WE DON'T NEED NO F*CKIN' CDC!

Black Judge Expected White Texas Woman To Obey The Law, If You Can Even F*cking Believe It

Wake Up And Smell The 'Pro-Life' Bullsh*t

Conspiracy Wackos Now Going After The Doctors

Turns Out Richard Burr's Brother-In-Law Had Some Extremely Convenient Stock Sales, Too!

Here's Trump Treating A Nurse Like Garbage, Because It's A Day

Utah Businesses Forced Employees Sick With COVID-19 To Work But Let’s Not Identify Them Or Anything

Justice Department Investigating GOP Fundraisers Trying To Make A Killing Off Coronavirus

37 Organizers For Anyone Who Has Seen A Messy House And Said That Ain’t Right. Tabs, Thurs., May 7, 2020

Trump Calls Dead Americans A Blue State Scam To Get Government Cheese

Dr. Rick Bright's Whistleblower Complaint On Trump's F*cked HHS Coronavirus Response Will Leave You SHOOK

Weirdos Think Gazing Upon Their God-Like Faces Worth Dying Of COVID-19

Florida Makes Early Coronavirus Data Disappear Right Before Our Very Eyes

And What Would You Like For A Side, COVID-19 Or Texas Toast?

Arizona Gov Doug Ducey Repo's Scientists' Coronavirus Data

Amazon VP VIP Tim Bray Quitfires Self Over 'Chickensh*t' Activist Quitfirings

Whistleblower SHOCKER: Jared Kushner F*cked The PPE

They Lynched Ahmaud Arbery In Georgia. A Prosecutor Convicted *Him*.

Jim Bakker Claims Not Letting Him Sell Silver Poison Violates His Religious Freedom

Did These 15 Things Actually Happen In 'Grease' Or Am I Making Them Up? Tabs, Wed., May 6, 2020

Trump Disbanding Coronavirus Task Force To Spend More Time Piling Up Corpses

Sure, Let's Try To Overthrow Venezuela. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Anti-Lockdown Nut Arrested With Multiple Pipe Bombs, Situation Super Normal

Trump Intel Pick Ratcliffe Probably Just Following QAnon Twitter Because He's JFK Jr

This Ad Makes Trump Do The Ugly Cry, So Don't Watch It Unless You Just Want To

An Open Letter To Those Who Think COVID-19 Is A Nefarious Plot To Turn The US Into A Socialist Nation

Ammon Bundy Knows What Is 'Holocaust,' It Is Having To Wear A Mask Sometimes For Sure

White House Economist Predicts ZERO Deaths Next Week. So Get Back To Work, Slackers!

If Laura Ingraham Gives Your Nana A Wet Willy To Prove Social Distancing Is Fake, CALL THE POLICE

What If The Supreme Court Held Arguments And Nobody Came?

No One Asked These Mediocre White Guys What They Thought Of Nikole Hannah-Jones’s Pulitzer Prize

Pastor Tony Spell Brags About Getting 200 Coronachecks From His Followers

Which Disney Princess And Parks And Rec Character Are You. Tabs, Tues., May 5, 2020

What Lies Is Fox News Telling Your Nana About COVID-19 Deaths Today?

Mike Pompeo Calls Coronavirus Naturally Occurring Manmade Bioweapon Released Accidentally On Purpose. AOT,K!

Now We'll Never Know If Lizard People Were Behind The COVID-19 Pandemic

CDC Estimates Minus-1000 Drop From 2,000 To 3,000 Daily COVID-19 Deaths By June

Dr. Deborah Birx Wins Susan Collins Award For Most Seriously Troubled During A Global Crisis

Federalist Writer, Minor Sorbo Have Thoughts On Abortion, Masks, And COVID-19

Time To Recap Another Brutal 'Working Weekend' With Donald Trump, Brutal Worker Of Weekends!

Wingnuts Won't Wear Masks, Because This Is America

Stop Trying To Make George W. Bush Happen

White House Refuses To Let Fauci Testify To House, But OKs Senate Appearance Because ... REASONS

Let’s Show Some Love For Our Man In Alabama, Doug Jones

All Lives Matter An Awful Lot When You’re Protesting While White

California Official Sees Sunny Side Of Old And Homeless People Dying Of COVID-19, Is Fired Now

GOP Rep. Dan Crenshaw: Democrats Want To Deny Americans Dignity! (Of A Painful COVID-19 Death)

Trump Declares Self More Poorly Treated Than Lincoln, Who Was Assassinated

DRAINING YOUR PASTA IN YOUR SINK IS STUPID. Tabs, Mon., May 4, 2020

The City On The Edge Of Nice Things

Mike DeWine Walked Back Mask Order For Fear Of Offending People Who Don't Like Being Told What To Do

No Vaccine Is Available For Whatever Infected Candace Owens’s Brain

No One Can Bake Bread Anymore Because This Lady Needs All The Yeast For Herself

Yes, We All Hate Illinois Nazis.

PSA: How You Talk About Sexual Assault Accusations You Don't Believe Matters, Too

Damn Right, Justin Trudeau Took The F**king Guns

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is Taking A Hike

Is This Post About Kayleigh McEnany's Briefing, Or About Alex Jones Gonna EAT YOUR ASS? Click For Surprise!

May Day: The Pandemic Is Kind Of Like A General Strike

GA Voters Rejecting GOP’s Awesome Platform Of Insider Trading And Spreading COVID-19. Weird!

Mike Pence Knows It Was Just A Boo-Boo When Mike Flynn Lied To Him About Russian Collusion

More Armed 'Boogaloo' Terrorists To Storm North Carolina Capitol Because Haircuts And Civil War

Black Folks In Illinois Shouldn’t Flirt With COVID-19 By ‘Tipping’ Their Masks

Jerome Corsi Emails Corona Fraud Prosecutor Instead Of Hydroxy Doc, Don't You Hate When That Happens?

Mike Pence Being Total Karen To Reporter Who Revealed His Mask Secrets

Gun-Toting Terrorist Babies Storm Michigan Capitol, Endanger Countless Lives

Only 3.8 Million More Americans Filed For Unemployment, So Things Are Getting A Lot Better Now

Trump Demands Proof China Coronavirus Wuhan Lab Iraq WMD Yellowcake Uranium Niger OMG WTF BENGhaZI!111!!!!

35 Reality Shows That Are Totally Fake! Tabs, Fri., May 1, 2020

Nice Time: California Gonna Feed Some Hungry Kids

Tech Bro Got $69 Million For 'Ventilators' After Tweeting At Trump. Nice.

Florida Gov DeSantis Uses Funny Math To Make Coronavirus Deaths Disappear. *HILARIOUS* MATH!

Don't Worry, Supreme Court Just Waiting For Right Time To Outlaw All Gun Control Ever

Fox News So Mad Everybody Calling Their New Dumb Quack Doctors Big Dumb Quacks

Obama Did A Golfing

SEAN HANNITY SHALL NOT STANDETH YOUR CRASS LIBELISMS, RAPSCALLION NEW YORK TIMES

Michael Flynn, Take Your F*cking Pardon And GO AWAY!

Trump Will Give Blue States Coronavirus Aid, Just Needs ONE TEENY TINY 'Favor Though'

Ben Shapiro Thinks All Lives Matter Unless They Are Very Old

It's Not Evil Socialism, It's A Good Conservative 'Negative Payroll Tax'

Donald Trump Gonna SUE Idiot Campaign Manager For Not Making Him A Candidate Who Isn’t Donald Trump

Classic Favorite Gift Basket. Tabs, Thurs., April 30, 2020

If You're Not Saving Abortion All Day Long Tomorrow, What Are You Even Doing?

White House Gonna Cure That Virus With Another Task Force, *For Serious This Time *

Kayleigh McEnany Doesn’t Get Why Media’s So Uptight About Vice President Health Hazard

Steve Scalise Doesn’t Want To Bail Out Liberal States With Taxpayer Money That’s Mostly Theirs

Go F*ck Yourself, Jared

Wasilla Wingnuts Use Coronavirus Shutdown To Ban Some Books

President Meat-Sweats Hereby Orders America's Meat-Makers To Keep Making Him Meats

Justin Amash Isn’t Helping

Scammy Michigan Doctor In Trouble After Claiming His Vitamin C Shots Prevent And Cure COVID-19

President Bone Spurs Has Surprise For West Point Cadets! It Is Probably Coronavirus :(

JK Rowling's Rules For Writing, Life, And Success! Tabs, Wed., April 29, 2020

Tyrant Gavin Newsom Nationalizes California Restaurants To Feed Your Nana

Mike Pence Don't Need No Stinkin' Rona Mask, Cuz He's Got THE LORD

Proud Boys See 'Reopen America' Rallies As Chance To Recruit Fellow Idiots To Their Cause

If Your Dumbass MAGA Uncle Watched Tucker Carlson Last Night, You Need To Read This

Mitch McConnell Looks Out For Little Guy: Meatpacking Plants That Give Workers The Rona

If Mitch McConnell And Brett Kavanaugh Had A Weird Christianist Baby They Were Grooming For The Supreme Court

'Le GOP, C'est MOI!' Trump Insists, Threatening To Kneecap Republicans Who Forget This Home Truth

Kelli Ward's 'Scrubs' Plot As Much About Fantasy Wish Fulfillment As About Lying

Dear Leader Trump Work Hard Like Beaver, Testicles Like Glorious Bull!

'ReOpen NC' Founder Has COVID-19, Says It Is Her First Amendment Right To Infect Others

Meet Monty, The Sad Rich Trump Donor Who Only Got $96 Million ​In 'Small Business' Loans

Yeah, Dummies, You Can Still Spread COVID-19 In A Tank Top At The Beach

Michael Flynn Will Not Stop Trying To Make Frameghazi!!!1!!!! Happen

How To Tell If Queen Elizabeth Doesn't Want To Talk To You. Tabs, Tues., April 28, 2020

Trump Knows What To Bleach Out Of Coronavirus Briefings, And It Is All The Science

Mother Teresa's Lawyers Say GOP Candidate Can't Run On Having Met Her One Time

Let's Check On President Bleach-The-Pain-Away And See How He's Feeling!

Ron DeSantis Managed Not To COVID-19 Everyone To Death In Florida, So That’s Something

Joe Biden's Got Green New Deal In Your Stimulus!

Conspiracy Jerks Ruin Random Lady's Life After Declaring Her Patient Zero

Who Wants A Politico Puff Piece On Hope Hicks? WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Dr. Birx Did Some Sunday Shows. It Was ... Yep!

Tom Cotton Only Wants Chinese Students To Learn Real American Stuff, Like Shakespeare

State Department Brain Trust Wants To Enforce Iran Deal It Tore Up Two Years Ago

Branch Covidians Declare White Salon-Owner Lady New Rosa Parks

Meghan McCain Probably Voting For Guy Who Was Friends With Her Father Who Was John McCain If You Haven't Heard

Pastor Tony Spell Won't Let House Arrest Stop Him From Maybe Giving More People Coronavirus

Melania Trump Celebrates Big Five-Oh With Continued Physical Distancing From Her Husband (Allegedly!)

Is Your Meat Really Safe To Eat? Tabs, Mon., April 27, 2020

Arizona Race For Senate Still A Few Months From Full Batsh*t Status

What Is With This Michigan Republican's Confederate Coronavirus Mask Apology?

Bret Stephens Bravely Speaks For The Forgotten Man Who’s In A Hurry To Catch COVID-19

Kim Jong Un Rumored To Be Dead But May Also Not Be Dead, No One Knows For Sure

Reports Of Bleach And Lysol Drinking Increase Day After Trump 'Sarcastically' Suggests It

Right-Wing 'Boogaloo Boys' Spend Pandemic On Facebook, Plotting To Kill Us All In A Civil War

All Hail Gretchen Whitmer, The Wolverine Queen!

Gavin Newsom Now Just Trying To Get Into Our Pants

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is Somewhat Better This Week, Thanks For Asking!

President Heckuva-Job Not Going To Work Until NOON These Days NOON WE SAID F*CKING NOON

30 Percent Of America Strikes Again, Thinks COVID-19 Vaccine Exists And Is Being Covered Up

Steven Mnuchin SO MAD Big Companies Bogarted 'Small Business' Stimmy $$$, As Designed

TUCKER CARLSON SHREDS ... His History Degree, Denies Japanese-American Internment Even Happened

Trump's Biggest Fans Are Way Ahead Of Him With The Bleach Drinking

A Children's Treasury Of Doctors And Bleach-Makers Saying DURRRRRRRRR DON'T EAT IT!

Turns Out Trump Owes Tens Of Millions To The Bank Of China, Because ... Hunter Biden?

Laura Ingraham Wants To Poll Test All That Uppity COVID-19 'Data'

It's A 'Kick Mitch McConnell In The Dick' Contest, And Everyone Is Playing!

Super Negotiator Trump Pays Four Times Contracted Price For Ventilators, Not One Penny Less

Washington State Republicans Go Feral, Ignore Stay-At-Home Order

DEAR FOX NEWS VIEWERS: DO NOT INJECT YOURSELF WITH BLEACH OR TRY TO SWALLOW A TANNING BED

Memes That Actually Ruined Innocent Lives! Tabs, Fri., April 24, 2020

Hello How Have You Been GIVE US YOUR MONEY

Trump Econ Adviser Stephen Moore Says 'Space Outfits,' F*ck It, Why Not.

Ammon Bundy Harassing Cops At Home Now, For Freedom And Coronavirus

Bugf*ck, Thy Name Is Las Vegas Mayor Carolyn Goodman

Nikki Haley Showing Her Ass Again, Bless Her Heart

Trump Administration Settles On HHS Sec Alex Azar As This Week's Human Sacrifice

Workers Boned

When Even Donald Trump Thinks You’re Stupid, You’re Probably GA Gov Brian Kemp

America's Top Vaccine Doc Fired For Refusing To Sell Trump's Magic HydroxyBonerCream To COVID-19 Patients

Gosh, Why Would Mitch McConnell Think States Should Go Bankrupt Instead Of Getting Some Stimmy?

CDC Director Redfield Reassures Toddler-In-Chief He Didn’t Say True Thing He Said

60 Beautiful Abandoned Places That Leaves One Intrigued With Mystery. Tabs, Thurs., April 23, 2020

Trumps Begging For Corona-Handouts In UK And Ireland Now Too, Because #Poor

Wisconsin GOP Lege Sues Democratic Gov Evers For Sacred Right To Die In A Pandumbic

Gov. Cuomo, Please Keep Bill De Blasio From Saying Stupid S**t, Thank You

We're Not Saying Sean Hannity Literally Killed Your Nana, But, Um, These Economists Kinda Are

Idaho Anti-Vaxxer Mom Is The Rosa Parks Of Exposing Children To Deadly Viruses

Black GA Rep. Leaves 'Democrat Plantation' For Trump’s Swankier, Immigrant-Free Plantation

Private Citizen Trump Begs President Trump: ALMS FOR THE POOR?

TX Lt. Gov Dan Patrick Insisting Everybody Die For Mammon. Again.

'It's Fine If You Die' Miiiight Not Be Best Trump Campaign Slogan

Inside The Secret Models That THEY Don't Want You To See! (This Headline Is True Though)

'Messianic Rabbi': Send Us 10% Of Your Stimmy Check So Jesus Can Buy Himself Something Nice

Old Hollywood Stars You Never Knew Were Gay. Tabs, Wed., April 22, 2020

Senate Intel Committee Says Surprise! Russia Still Guilty As F*ck! Guess Bill Barr Will Investigate Senate Now.

Yes Trump, Sometimes The Cure IS Worse Than The Disease!

Looking For That Sweet Sweet Stimmy? Well, Marrying A Foreigner Was Your *First* Mistake

Jesus Takes Wheel, Helps Stay-At-Home-Order-Defying Pastor Nearly Back Over Protestor

Coronavirus Got You Down? Sprinkle It Away, With Louie Gohmert's Magic German COVID Sprinkle Powder!

'But What Of Our Au Pairs!' Fox's Ainsley Earhardt Wonders Of Trump's Immigration Ban

Pro-Infection Rallies Are Astroturf All The Way Down

Smithfield Blames Immigrants For Bringing Virus Into Its Immaculate Slaughterhouse

Trump Suspending Immigration Because HEY, WHERE ARE THE F*CKING TESTS?

Let's Meet Trump's COVID-19 Testing Czar, Who Doesn't Play Well With Others

After Mass Shooting, Canadian Government Might Ban Assault Weapons Like A Competent Government

Weird How All These People Who Believe COVID-19 Is A Hoax Keep Dying Of It

Bill Barr Knows Freedom Just Another Word For Dying Of Coronavirus You Got At Church

GA Gov Brian Kemp Has Lost His Damn Mind

This Product Is Turning Men Of All Ages Into Beasts! Tabs, Tues., April 21, 2020

Oil Now Same Price As Pack Of Cigarettes Just Kidding Now It's Trader Joe's Wine JK Now It's Stamp JK Now It's Gum Ball JK Now It's Free

Greg Abbott Wants To Reopen Texas, But Keep The Abortion Clinics Closed

Ruth's Chris Steakhouse Got 'Small Business' Loans To Pay Executives, Managers. Well Done!

What Is Trump Angrily Expressing His Glands About Today?

SC Gov Henry McCaster Declares Spreading COVID-19 At Flea Markets An Essential Activity

Tennis Guy Might Take Ball And Go Home If He Has To Get COVID-19 Vaccine

Trump, Pence Sending FBI To Raid Hospital Deals For Sweet, Sweet N95 Masks

Trump Pays GOP Donors To Build Border Wall Out Of Ventilators

Kamala Harris Asks Bill Barr To Make Cops Just A Tiny Less Racist During COVID-19 Crisis

Jim Jordan Can't Get Corona-Drunk At The Golden Corral Buffet, And HE. IS. MAD.

SC Senator Tim Scott Thinks Donald Trump Is Psychic Now

Nevermind The Pandemic, The One Million Moms Have Gay Cartoon Ducks To Worry About

Judge Jeanine Will Wear Her Damn Mask, Now Let Her Out Of The House Already

The Pandemic Will Be Televised

Creep Sues Woman For Warning Other Women Not To Date Him

Idiots Hold Trump Death Cult Rally At Washington State Capitol

Foods The Queen Forbids The Royal Family From Eating! Tabs, Mon., April 20, 2020

The Nice Things Are Due On Maple Street

No Haircut On Earth Can Save Alex Jones And His Merry Band Of 'ReOpen America' Jerks.

New York Times Gonna Get Trump Re-Elected If It Kills Us

Kirk Cameron Wonders Why No Station Will Air Fundraiser For Anti-Gay Hate Group

Life Tabernacle Church Becomes Death Tabernacle Church After Defying Stay-At-Home Orders

Confederate Flag Waving Right-Wingers Who Don't Care If People Die Are The New Rosa Parks, Says Trump Advisor

People Who Want South Carolina To Have Non-Trumped-Up Senator Donate Crap-Ton Of Cash To Jaime Harrison

David Brooks Hopes COVID-19 Will Purge America Of Sissies

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is A Little Under The Weather

Sean Hannity Knows How To Eat Hot Dog In Time Of Coronavirus, It Is The Easiest

Kelly Loeffler Knows What Socialism Is, And It Is 'Opposing Insider Trading'

Trump Will Send American Ventilators To Vladimir Putin Because YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SH*T UP

President Lazyass Livetweeting Fox, Inciting Armed Insurrection A Tiny. TYPICAL FRIDAY!

Infowars Twerp Kicked Off Twitter For Being Death-Cult Coronavirus Douche

Dr. Fauci Probably Would’ve Preferred Shaking Your Unwashed Hand To This Laura Ingraham Interview

Trump Announces Plan To Reopen America, SPOILER! There Is No F*cking Plan

It's All Right To Cry, Mark Meadows, But You Know Trump Gonna Ax You For Being A Pussy

Dr. Phil (Not A Doctor) Talking Some Fake Shutdown Bullsh*t

Fox News Throwing New Tea Party For Michigan’s Operation Gridlock Idiots

Dr. Oz Is Gross And Weird And Bad

Stimulus Normal, All Fuqqed Up

Trump Loves Cops So Much Until It Is Time To Pay Them

The States Where Americans Don't Want To Live Anymore! Tabs, Fri., April 17, 2020

If Hillary Clinton Made Coronavirus In A Bathtub In Wuhan, TRUMP GON' FIND OUT!

What If You 'Reopened' The Economy And Trump And Like Five Fake Tea Party People Came?

What Is Even Up With The Wonkette Reader Aid Slush Fund, HENGHHHH?

IDEA: What If Trump Was 'Rush Limbaugh,' Instead Of 'President'?

You Can’t Expect Lady Ivanka To Social Distance In Her DC Mansion Like Some Common Poor Person Who’s Poor

Trump Has Perfect Phone Call With CEOs (Who Think 'Reopening' Economy Is BATSH*T INSANE)

CA Gov Gavin Newsom Giving Money To Immigrants, Making You Press One For English Probably

Can Trump Really ADJOURN CONGRESS? Hahahahaha, F*ck Off

Tim Ryan Makes Himself Useful, Calls For $2000 A Month Emergency Rona Income

Fox Brings On The Death Panels Lady To Explain Why Govt And Business Should Make You Die Of COVID-19

Just Look At These F**king Michigan Idiots

Poll Finds Kris Kobach Narrowly Beating Coronavirus, But Losing To Democrat In Kansas Senate Race

The Shocking Truth About Teddy Roosevelt Jr.'s War Record! Tabs, Thurs., April 16, 2020

Princess Cookies 'N' Cream Vanderbilt Rothschild Pelosi Has Granite Countertops

Maybe You Didn't Want To Vote This Year. The GOP Is Here To Make Sure Of It.

Nancy Pelosi Praying For Donald Trump Again

Nobody In Maine Likes Susan Collins Because They’ve Met Her

'ReopenNC' Protestors Demand Right To Spread COVID At Their Place Of Business

Blue States Hide PPE Shipments So Trump Thugs Won't Steal ... Err, CONFISCATE Them For National Stockpile

Trump Announces Plan To Give Coronavirus To WAY MORE Non-US-Americans!

Trump's Name Going On Stimulus Checks. Now Put It On Ventilators, Body Bags.

Convicted Felon Jim Bakker's Magic Silver Drink Cured Him Of Being Able To Take Credit Card Payments

Black GA Dem Endorses Donald Trump From Alternate Reality Where That Makes Sense

Celebs Who Aren't Famous Anymore And Everybody Knows It But Them! Tabs, Wed., April 15, 2020

A Guy Who Has Never Seen 'Mutiny On The Bounty' Explains 'Mutiny On The Bounty' To Donald Trump

Obama Endorses Biden, Acts Shady The WHOLE ENTIRE TIME

South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem Cures* Coronavirus With Personal Responsibility And FREEDOM

Florida: Let's Get Ready To Rumble/Catch And Maybe Die Of COVID-19!

Gavin Newsom, Andrew Cuomo To Lead Nice Trump-Free Regional Nation-States

Andrew Cuomo Too Busy To Give A F*ck About Trump's Whining Right Now

Someone Should Tell Tucker Carlson That Breast Cancer And Opioid Addiction Are Not Contagious

MY NAME IS TRUMP, KING OF KINGS, LOOK UPON MY WORKS YE MIGHTY AND DES- ... STOP LAUGHING, IT'S NOT FUNNY!

Ammon Bundy Doing His Part To Fill The Hospitals, For Jesus

Wisconsin GOP Vote Suppressing F*ckery Bites 'Em In The Ass

Virginia Is For Lovers (And Also The Reproductive Rights Of Said Lovers)

Republicans, Don’t Come For Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer Unless She Calls For You

Actors Who Were Drunk While Filming! Tabs, Tues., April 14, 2020

Reflections On A Corona-40th-Birthday Spent Wood-Grabbing

Wait, Why Is President Loud Stupid Bragging About Raising Gas Prices Now?

Statler Endorses Waldorf

Labor Sec Eugene Scalia Just Wants To Make Life A Little Tougher And More Dangerous For Everyone

The Post Office Is In Trouble. Trump Is Here To Help With A Nice Pillow For Its Face.

Communism Is Just A Red Herring. Trump’s Why You’re Hiding In The House From COVID.

Trump HEREBY DECLARES He Is Boss Of Telling US American States When To Re-Open, LOL Stupid Idiot

Is The Federalist Just Straight Up Trying To Kill People?

Bill Bennett Doesn’t Think COVID-19’s A Pandemic, Not Sure If Anyone Even Has It

Jared Kushner's PPE Follies

Kansas Court Slaps Down Lege's Attempt To Spread Coronavirus For Jesus

The Pope Goes Commie On Us. We Approve.

Coronavirus Not Gonna Stop Trump From Rage-Tweeting At Fox News On Easter

Nice Time! VA Gov Northam Goes Full General Sherman On Confederate Monuments

How To Piss Off The President

Texas Gov Abbott Set To Declare State’s ‘Coronavacation’ Over

Controversial Things Everyone Just Ignores About Ina Garten. Tabs, Mon., April 13, 2020

Put Some Nice Things In Your Easter Bonnet And Smoke Them

He Is Risen! Now Keep Your Ass Indoors With Some Easter-Themed TV

Oh Nooooo Kentucky's Hot Gov Gonna Tell People Who Go To Church Tomorrow They Have To Quarantiiiiiine, Won't Let Them Kill More People For Jesus!

WHO NEEDS A NICE TIME? Virginia And Moms Demand GOT YOU COVERED!

Colorado Got (Some Of) Its Ventilators, Since A Republican Asked

Ivanka Trump To Save All The Small Businesses, By Asking For Chinese Patents On Them Probably

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Has Gone Fishin', By Which We Mean Our Kids Went Fishing, This Work Never Ends

Who Likes Videos Of Dr. Fauci Kicking Mike Pence In The Dick?

Franklin Graham Tries To Explain Necessity Of Filling Central Park Field Hospital With Bigots

Poor Man's Roy Cohn Bill Barr Says Trump's Dictator-Style Purges Are F*ckin' AWESOME

Seven Dudes Overrule Kansas Gov Laura Kelly's 'No Churching' Order Because She's A Democrat Lady

The FDA Said Alex Jones Can't Sell His Magic Anti-Coronavirus Toothpaste Anymore

Navy Might Give Capt. Crozier His Job Back, Now That Trump's Tantrum Is Over

Florida Gov Ron DeSantis Skips Science, Math, Health, Logic And Ethics, Wants To Send Kids Back To Class

Feds: Oh, You Wanted Us To NOT SHUT DOWN TESTING SITES? Well If You Feel So Strongly About It

Nobody Tell Daddy The Paycheck Protection Program Is Broken. Daddy Gets Real Mad.

Joe Biden Extends An Elbow To Bernie Sanders Supporters

Wife 'Completely Shocked' By Husband's Hospital Room Video! Tabs, Fri., April 10, 2020

Let's All Watch This Ping Pong Ball Ad And Call It A Day

Anthony Fauci Ain’t Touching Your Dirty Ass Hand Ever Again

More Stimulus? It's Not Like Hospitals And States Are Small Businesses, Like Churches Are

Bill O’Reilly Thinks Coronavirus Victims Should Just Die Already, But Those Are *Last Week's* Talking Points

Is Mike Pence ... Right About A Thing?!?

Jobless Claims Rise To An Unprecedented ‘Holy F**K!'

We Don't Have Enough COVID-19 Testing. So Trump Is Pulling Funding For Testing Sites.

Tucker Carlson: It’s Dumb To Worry About Racism Right Now When Terrible Non-White Country Gave Us All Corona

God. He's A Real Motherf*cker.

If Reporters Can Win A Pulitzer For Being Dumber Than Trump At A Press Briefing, Then This Clown Is A Finalist

Twitter Revokes Diamond And Silk's Immunology Degrees

GA Sen. Kelly Loeffler Dumps All Her Stocks Like They’ve Got The Rona

How Much Should You Be Tipping Delivery Drivers Right Now? Tabs, Thurs., April 9, 2020

The 565,286 Worst Lies Fox News Is Telling Your Nana About Coronavirus RIGHT THIS SECOND

Gavin Newsom Has HAD ENOUGH

Wisconsin Speaker Wonders Why Everyone’s So Mad At Republicans For Holding Death Election

Oh Nikki Haley Wants To Be Trump's Veep So Baaaaaad

Bernie Sanders Peaces Out

How Is King Trump More Dangerous To America Than Coronavirus Today?

Trump Will Vote By Mail. The Rest Of You People Can Vote By Dying.

Mike Pence Gonna Pay Pastors As Small 'Businesses' Because Isn't That What A Church Is?

Be Very, Very Quiet: Georgia Republican Paul Broun’s Hunting Black People

Goodbye, A-Hole (Acting) Navy Sec Thomas Modly, Goodbye!

Tom Friedman Wants Biden Cabinet That Looks Like Inside Of Tom Friedman's Head: White And Mostly Irrelevant

Martin Shkreli Wants Out Of Prison To Save Us All From The Coronavirus

Why You Should Put Dish Soap In Your Toilet! Tabs, Wed., April 8, 2020

Which Inspector General Is Trump Saturday Night Massacring This Lovely Tuesday Afternoon?

White House Econ Loon Peter Navarro Wants To Be The Good Guy Here. NOPE.

Hooray! Feds Rush Medical Supplies From China So States Can Over-Pay For Them!

Will This Scientologist's MLM Vitamins Save You From Coronavirus? Probably Not!

Part-Time White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham Now No-Time Press Secretary

Wisconsin's Got Long Lines Of People Willing To Risk Their Lives To Go Vote

Oh F*ck OFF, Thomas Modly!

Idaho Patriots Won't Let GOP Gov. Trample Sacred Right To Send Your Nana To The ICU

It's Time For The Fox News Corona Boner Pill Sextravaganza! Starring Dr. Oz!

SC Gov McMaster Issues Stay At Home Order While There Are Still Some South Carolinians

God Wants You To Ignore Doctors And Listen To Trump, Says Jews For Jesus Guy

Vote And Die! Democracy According To The US Supreme Court And Wisconsin Supreme Court

'90s TV Moments That Would Never Happen Today. Tabs, Tues., April 7, 2020

Who Got Your Wonkbux Today?

GOP Stands Up For Wisconsinites' Sacred Right To Catch Coronavirus At Polls Tomorrow

Oh, Gosh, We're Also Running Out Of Drugs Needed To Keep People On Ventilators

Wonksplainer: 5G Conspiracy Theories And What The Hell Is Going On With Them

Former Fed Chair Janet Yellen Hopes Economic Recovery Doesn't Come Up Short

IDEA: Maybe Trump Should Fire His A-Hole (Acting) Navy Secretary

California Gov Newsom Has Crazy Idea That Just Might Work

Coronavirus Doesn’t Care About Black People

Doctor Rudy Says Take Your Hydroxies To Prevent Corona, Kids!

Fired Intel Community Inspector General Very Nicely Tells President Crime-Baby To Eat A Bag Of F*ck

The Queen Speaks

QAnon Idiots Very Concerned About Mole Children Now

Masks On, Masks Off

Franklin Graham: Sinners Pissed Off God So Much He Dropped Corona On Everyone

Erick Erickson Promotes Burning Cross, Should Definitely Keep Neighbors Away

Fox Doc: COVID-19 Patients Getting Off Ventilators Will Play Fun Game Of ‘Live Or Die'

Celebs Who Robbed The Cradle. Tabs, Mon., April 6, 2020

Let's Do MORE Shopping At Our Readers' Stores!

Tonight We're Gonna Party Like It's Nice Things Ninety-Nine

Yes, Gov. McMaster, South Carolina Is ‘Unique’ But Everyone Still Needs To Stay The F**K Home

Let's Go Shopping At YOUR Online Shops!

Trump Firing Intelligence IG For Doing His Job? Sure, Why Not?

Republican Governors Explain, Poorly, Why They Are Being Coronavirus Idiots

Is Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 WORKING HARD, Or HARDLY WORKING?

Prancercise In The Time Of Coronavirus

Jobless Floridians Will Starve Because Rick Scott Spent $77 Million On A Crappy Unemployment Website

Dr. Fauci To 'Fox & Friends': F*CK YOUR FEELINGS.

'Transformed Wife' Hopes Coronavirus Will Make Ladies Stay Home And Bake Bread FOREVER

LOOKS LIKE 8Kun/8Chan Owner Scamming The Hell Out Of QAnon Idiots On His Site

Jared Kushner MBAsplains Coronavirus To America's Governors. Guess We're All Gonna Die.

About Jared Kushner's Federal Stockpile ...

GOP Missouri Gov. Will Protect Your God-Given Right To Shoot At Coronavirus, With Your Hidden Penis-Gun!

Fate Of American Small Businesses Rests In Hands Of Donald Trump, Steve Mnunchin ... Oh CRAP!

Navy Captain Booted For Caring More About 4,000 Sailors' Lives Than About Trump's Sad F*cking Ego

Ammon Bundy Doesn't Find Any 'Rona In HIS US Constitution

Super Gambler Trump Loses America’s Shirt To The Coronavirus

Trump Campaign Cuts Fake Biden Ad To Troll The Libs, OMG, HELP We Are So Owned

I'm A Landlord. Am I Morally Obligated To Waive Rent During The Pandemic? Tabs, Fri., April 3, 2020

Wonkette Reader Aid Slush Fund Back Open For Business!

Nancy Pelosi Creating Committee To Watchdog Trump's Coronavirus F*ckups, And Fox News Is MAD

Bush-Appointed-Judge Tells ICE: LET MY PEOPLE GO

Donald Trump's Got A Fever, And The Only Prescription Is MORE GOLF

How's Your Kid's Online Schooling Going? Well, You're Reading This So You Have Internet

Trump Done Being Serious About Coronavirus, Decides To Just Be Big Stupid Lie-Racist Again

Trump Makes History! Ten Million New Lucky Duckies In Just Two Weeks

Trump: 10 Million New Jobless Will Get 'Something Much Better Than Obamacare'. Someday. When He Invents It.

Jared Kushner's Magical MBA Knows New York Whiners Don't Need Thousands Of Vents

GAME CHANGER: Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp Just Found Out Coronavirus, Like, Real Contagious, Y'all

Oh Sh*t, Meghan McCain Is A Bolshevik Now!

Wisconsin GOP Protects Election By Forcing In-Person Voting During Pandemic

Donald Trump Would Never Tell Businesses What To Do, Except All The Time

One Thing All Liars Have In Common, Brace Yourself! Tabs, Thurs., April 2, 2020

If Devin Nunes Doesn't Get To Play Outside Soon, He Might Just Sue A LIVE COW

Nothing Makes Ben Shapiro Madder Than Capitalism Working For Poor People

Mr. Monopoly Mike Bloomberg Breaks Promises To Campaign Staff, Sends Them Directly To Unemployment

Does MAGA Stand For 'Make Navy Sick Again'? If So, HECKUVA JOB, TRUMP!

Mike Pence Found All The Coronavirus Supplies! We Had Mailed Them To Asia, Whoops!

Not Even God Should Shop At Hobby Lobby After It Reopens Stores During Shutdowns

Tucker Carlson Knows Coronavirus's Real Victims: Rightwingers Spreading Disinfo Censored By Facebook

Governor Florida Man Will Make Coronavirus Great Again, On Land And At Sea

If Trump Stops Being Total F*ckup RIGHT NOW, Coronavirus Might Only Be Between 33 and 81 9/11s!

There Is No New Trump, Just The Same Crappy Old Narcissistic Lying Trump

Trump Administration Takes Time Out Of Busy Pandemic To Make Cars Dirty Again

How Much 'Handmaid's Tale' Sh*t Are Red States Doing To Ban Abortion In The Time Of Coronavirus?

16 Funny Tweets That Oh Jesus I Can't. Tabs, Wed., April 1, 2020

What's Great About The New York Times Is How Pompously Bad At Everything They Are

Not Even Bedbugs Booking Trump's Roach Motels During Coronavirus :(

Hey 'Pro-Life' People! Would You Mind Trying Not To Kill Us All?

Trump Stops 'Chinese Virus' Talk After Deep Ego Massage From Xi Jinping

Who Needs Dr. Fauci When You Have Dr. Diamond And Dr. Silk?

Of Course Kim Davis's Lawyer Is Repping The Coronavirus Pastor

Matt Gaetz Demands Senator Richard Burr's Ouster For Stock Dumping. Must Be That Time Of The Month Again.

Lucky Ducky Las Vegas Homeless People Sleeping Tight In Very Fine Parking Lot

You Need To Hear How President Mouth-Idiot Talks To Governors About Coronavirus

Ivanka Trump Goops Her Way Through Coronavirus Crisis

General Electric Workers Would Like To Make Some Ventilators, Please

Mistakes You Didn't Know Were Ruining Your Fried Chicken! Tabs, Tues., March 31, 2020

Fox News Idiots Not Sure People Even In Hospital With Coronavirus, SAYS WHO?

Help! The 'New Yorker' Has Committed A Murder!

Trump Admin VERY BUSY With IMPORTANT WORK Of DISESTABLISHING RESERVATION Of Native Americans Who Met The Pilgrims!

Neo-Confederate Group Invites Members To Big Party, Include It In Their Wills

Fox News Agrees That Trump Has Always Been At War With The Coronavirus

Spirit Of Lord Moving Through Liberty University, Just Kidding It's Coronavirus

Instacart Workers On Strike EVEN THOUGH Company Agreed To Give Them ... Hand Sanitizer

Even These Trump Admin Folks Wanted To Prosecute Walmart For Knowingly Filling Pill Mill Scrips

Ron Johnson Will Lick This Pandemic With Prodigious Googling, Whataboutism, And Midwestern CAN DO!

Oops, Some Folks Got Left Out Of The Stimulus! Don't Worry, They Aren't Airlines

Nice Time (ON OPPOSITE DAY) Coronavirus Quick Bites For March 30, 2020

Tampa Megachurch Pastor Has Virus Death-Ray, Keeps Holding Packed Services

Harry, Meghan Smart Enough Not To Rely On Trump To Keep Them Alive

Marco Rubio Thinks Media Just Having Constant Orgasms Over Rising US Coronavirus Cases

Lindsey Graham's Pandemic Sunday Show Idiocy

Shocking: We're Not Gonna Be Done With COVID-19 Before Easter

Nancy Pelosi Said What She Said: Trump Is Getting People Killed

Is It Allergies Or Is It Coronavirus? Tabs, Mon., March 30, 2020

You're Gonna Need A Bigger Nice Things

Texas GOPer Super Jazzed About All The Abortions COVID-19 Will Prevent

Florida Gov. DeSantis Really Mad New York Gave His State Coronavirus

Sit The Hell Down Meghan McCain, And Listen To A Fable

Is Trump Cutting Off Michigan's Nose To Spite Their Governor's Face? Probably!

Slumlord Jared Kushner Will Keep His NYC Buildings Fully Stocked With Mold, Roaches During Pandemic

COVID-19 Not A 'Bioweapon' Manufactured In A Lab, But Try Telling The Conspiracy Theorists That

Wonkette's Top 10 Has Been Training For Shelter-At-Home All Its Life

Lord Bless And Keep New Orleans As A New Storm Comes

Rush Limbaugh So Mad At Deep State Coronavirus Liars Like Dr. Fauci, He Just Might Die!

Look For The Helpers. Find Them At Wonkette.

This Is A Bad Way To Learn That Urgent Cares Don't Have To See Uninsured Dying Teens

One GOP Asshole Is Why House Can't Have Nice Things

President Thug Life Will Take Care Of Any ‘Wiseguys’ Who Expect Him To Do His Job

Cruise Ships Ain't Getting No Stimulus Money Just Because They're Not Even American, Isn't That Sad?

Neo-Nazi Attempted Hospital Bomber Was In Communication With Neo-Nazi Attempted News Station Bomber

White House Econ Crank Peter Navarro Icing His Balls After Unsuccessful Ventilator Evasion On CNN

Republicans Perplexed That Nancy Pelosi Might Want More $$ For Workers, States, Paid Leave, Pensions

How Is Trump F*cking Up The Coronavirus Ventilator Situation Today?

Matt Gaetz Pissed That COVID-19 Bill Gives $13 Million In Obama Phones To Black People University

Trump Won’t Say MI Gov. Gretchen Whitmer’s Name Because He’s A Sexist Sack Of S**t

Wonkette WARBLOG: Let's Do A Friendly Invasion Of The Slog's Book Club!

Men! Try This Never Take Viagra Again! Tabs, Fri., March 27, 2020

Hey Wonkette, You Holding Any Cakes We Like?

HEY DAN PATRICK, HERE'S THOSE OLD PEOPLE YOU ORDERED

H-E-B Supermarket More Prepared For COVID-19 Than Trump, Which Isn’t Saying Much

Dumbass MS Gov: THIS AIN'T CHINESE NORTH KOREA! Also Dumbass MS Gov: MY TRUCK, MY RULES!

PG&E Pleads GUILTY To Starting Deadly Camp Fire, Will Take $$$ From Victims To Pay Its Fine

Republicans Getting (LOL, 'Getting') F*cking WEIRD About Your Unemployment

Ainsley Earhardt Worried Coronavirus Will Negatively Impact Her Beauty Regimen

Trump's Gonna Blame Peter Strzok For Coronavirus Before This Is Over, Isn't He?

Mnuchin Calls 3.3 MILLION Newly Unemployed Americans 'Irrelevant.' He Probably Could Have Put That Better If He Wasn't Literal Marie Antoinette

The Rent’s Too Damn High For Everyone Now

Pennsylvania Landlord Very Sorry Some Asshole Signed His Name To Stupid Eviction Threat

You Keep Playing Animal Crossing All Wrong. Tabs, Thurs., March 26, 2020

WTF Is Happening With Coronavirus In Russia?

Mike Pompeo Wants To Talk About Who Botched The Coronavirus Response? OH, REALLY?

Federalist Suggests Fun Coronavirus Parties For Hip Young Swingles

President Mob Boss Want Dem Governors To Tap Dance For Their Coronavirus Assistance

And Now, Your Daily Dispatch From The Fox News/Rightwing Coronavirus Death Cult!

To Whom Is Wonkette Giving Your Money Today?

Scuzzy Pastors Want To Put Their Congregations On Highway To Heaven

An NRA So Puny You Can Drown It In The Bathtub

Behold, We Have A Stimulus Bill!

Wait, You Mean Staying The F*ck At Home WORKS?

And This Is Why You Send Wonkette Your New York Times Money

Comrade Britney Spears Is Down For Wealth Redistribution And A General Strike

How To Pay Off Up To $10,000 Fast! Tabs, Wed., March 25, 2020

Trump May Not Believe Doctors, But He Believes The Stupidest Man On The Internet

Easter Bunny Trump Gonna Put Surprise In America's Easter Basket! (It Is Coronavirus)

QAnon Idiots Think Quarantined Celebs Are Using Videos To Send Secret Messages About Eating Babies

Would You Let This Man Suspend Habeas Corpus?

Wonkette Announces Reader Aid Slush Fund NOT Overseen By Donald Trump

Rand Paul's Staffers: Thanks A Ton, Typhoid Rand!

Dumbass Mississippi Governor Gonna Cure Coronavirus With BIBLE

Liberty University Will Make Teachers And Students Come Back, Coronavirus Be Damned

Hero Trump Gets Underwear Companies To Make Masks Out Of THREE LAYERS Of Underwear!

How Are We Saving The Economy Today (Besides Killing Grandma Millie)?

How Many People Will Trump's Coronavirus Pressers Kill Before The Media Stops Running Them Live?

How Are We All Doing? Are We OK?

No, The Cure Is Not Worse Than The Disease. The Disease Is Really Bad And We Don't Have Enough Ventilators.

Trump Will Put Americans Back To Work Over Their Nanas’ Dead Bodies

Where To Stock Up On Wine While Social Distancing Without Going Broke. Tabs, Tues., March 24, 2020

Look For The Helpers. They Seldom Need Capes.

We'd Tell Susan Collins To Go F*ck Herself, But Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Took Care Of That

Republicans Add Opportunistic Infection To Coronavirus Relief Bill

Sorry, Cruise Lines, Not A Single Penny In Bailout Money

President Crankypants Getting His Coronavirus Briefings From Fox News Again

Oh Sure, Ohio Is Definitely Just Trying To Cancel Abortions Because Of The Rona

$500 Billion Corporate Slush Fund Stalls Pandemic Aid Bill. McConnell Blames Greedy Democrats

Trump Certain Blaming China For Coronavirus Will Cure Coronavirus

Rita Wilson Is The Mack Daddy Momma Mack We Need Right Now

Get Well Soon, Rand Paul, You Unmitigated Dick!

White Supremacists Hope To Get Coronavirus In Order To Give It To Minorities

Dr. Fauci Says What He Really Thinks About President Lie-Mouth's Coronavirus Mouth-Lies

Marco Rubio: Does It Matter What Racist Names We Use For The Coronavirus Right Now?

Please Don't Stick a Hairdryer up Your Nose, And Other Things That Should Go Without Saying

Stephanie Grisham: If Media Loved America, They’d Help Spread Trump’s Coronavirus Lies

We're In The 'Endgame' Now

How To Keep Your Germy Ass Nails Clean At Home. Tabs, Mon., March 23, 2020

More Songs About Buildings And Nice Things

Hobby Lobby Staying Open During Pandemic Because Owner's Wife Got A Special Message From God.

Fox News Commies Turn On America’s Stock-Dumping Sweetheart, Kelly Loeffler

RIP Kenny Rogers: Singer, Dolly Parton Duet-er And Roasted Chicken Impresario

Don't Go Taking Any Coronavirus Advice From Our Stupid President

Who Are Our Coronavirus Heroes This Week?

The Extremely Shady Side Of Zac Efron. Tabs Extra! Sat., March 21, 2020

The GOP Is From The Government, And They're *NOT* Here To Help!

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Just Lying Around Watching Our Ass Grow

Meet Your New Dad Marvin, Who Knows Kansas Ain't Got Coronavirus 'Cause Kansas Ain't Chinese Like Italy!

Kevin McCarthy Whiiiiiiiines That Gavin Newsom Won't Let Him Play Governor UNFAIR

Hanging Out In Large Groups To Scream At Women Near Planned Parenthoods, For 'Life'

Trump Comforts Nation's Corona-Fears By Having Corona-Tantrum At NBC's Peter Alexander

Democrats, *Now Is Not The Time For Your Bipartisan Shit*

Lucky Duckie Newly Unemployed People Just Sitting In Their Living Rooms Like Bunch Of Mooching Assholes

Hospitals Need Volunteers To Sew Face Masks Because Trump Says Government Ain't A Shipping Clerk

Megyn Kelly Still Sucks. This Time About Trump, Coronavirus.

If You're A GOP Senator Who DIDN'T Do Insider Trading After Coronavirus Briefing, Could You Raise Your Hand?

Minnesota And Vermont Doing Universal Childcare (For Hero Grocery Store Workers)

Bill O’Reilly: Democrats Impeaching Trump Is Why Your Children Will Grow Up In A Plastic Bubble

Trump Gets In Bidding War With States For Face Masks. That's It, That's The Headline.

What Happens To Your Body When You Drink Scotch Every Day. Tabs, Fri., March 20, 2020

Cardi B Losing F**king Mind, Asks F**king Pentagon To Let A Bitch Know When She Can Go Out Again

Ron DeSantis Will Close Florida's Beaches. By October, At The Latest!

Trump's Daily Coronavirus Bullsh*t, Or Who Or What The Hell Is 'Chanel Rion'?

Hey, We Gonna Get Socialism, Mitch McConnell?

Ron Johnson: What's A Little Coronavirus Between Friends?

Elizabeth Warren Knows How Army And WALL Can Make Themselves Useful Right About Now

STFU About Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Fox News A-Hole Doctor Lady

We Get Coronavirus Emails!

We Really Don’t Care About Melania Trump’s Coronavirus PSAs. Do You?

Naming And Shaming The 8 GOP ​Senators Who Don't Really Give A F*ck What Coronavirus Does To Your Nana

If You Won’t Say ‘Chinese Virus,’ You’re Just Not Serious About Stopping This Pandemic!

No Title, Just Tabs. Tabs, Thurs., March 19, 2020

Cooking In The Time Of Coronavirus: Gluten Free Vegan Pesto Pasta That Doesn't Taste Gluten Free Or Vegan

Good Lord, Is He Going To Crash The Market Every Day With These Batsh*t Pressers?

Amy Klobuchar Shows The Love For Uncle Joe, Even Bernie, On ‘The View'

GOP Congressman Pretty Sure God Hates Fags More Than He Hates Coronavirus

New Poll: Drinking Fox News Kool-Aid Could Give You The 'Rona

Ding Dong, Dan Lipinski Is Gone!

Democrats Vote To GET THIS SH*T OVER WITH Already

Right-Wing Economic Assholes Need To Self-Quarantine Their Mouths Until Pandemic Ends

Coronavirus Lockdowns Just Libs Trying To Stop The GAY-POCALYPSE, According To Science

Nice Time: Closing Restaurants Give EVERYBODY Eat!

Candace Owens Knows What's 'Satanic,' And It Is ... Not Letting People Die From Coronavirus? OK.

Rand Paul Officially Worst Senator From Kentucky

Trump Should Watch This February Video Of Him Saying Damn Right He Fired The Pandemic Response Team

They're Coming For Your Paper Coffee Cups. Tabs, Wed., March 18, 2020

How Presidential Is Trump Right Now, On A Scale Of One To 'STFU, Dana Bash'?

Duncan Hunter You Are LOCK HER UP!

Voting Not Going So Well In Illinois. Maybe This Was A Bad Idea?

Nice Time: Listen To The Helpers

Trump Hates Jared Now, Oh Poop!

THERE IS NO ELECTION IN OHIO TODAY: Forecast Called For CONSTITUTIONAL SH*TSHOW

France: YOU'RE FIRED! Wait, No, NOBODY'S Fired, Everyone Keeps Their Jobs, Hooray!

Why Is Newt F*cking Gingrich Still On Our TV?

Look What Bill Barr Just Did While You Were Busy With Coronavirus

Maine Landlord: It's A Crisis, So I'm Not Collecting Rent

Be Like Texas (Or Bexar County At Least) And Stop Sending Minor Offenders To Coronavirus Jail!

Maybe The Trump Organization Did Some Light Bribery For Lower Taxes, But It Was So Long Ago

30 People Who Got Called Out For Lying On Social Media! Tabs, Tues., March 17, 2020

Wonkette Recommendations For STAY THE F*CK AT HOME, Starting With STAY THE F*CK AT HOME!

Mitt Romney Wants To Give YOU $1,000 Plus An Obamaphone!

Take Heart, America: Mitch McConnell Still Piece Of Sh*t

Hey! Let's Check In On The Doomsday Cult Mom!

Federal Reserve Brings A Banana To A Gunfight, THIS IS FINE

Marco Rubio Says A Good Thing Dumbly

Holy Nice Times, Batman! Penguin Escapes, Watches Fishies!

What's Prince Jared Doing To Kushner Up The Coronavirus Crisis Today?

Badass Judge: NO SNAP CUTS FOR YOU!

Trump Presser Only 80 Percent Lies This Time, So That's Crazy!

Sheriff David Clarke Pretty Mad George Soros Making Him Stay Home Over Coronavirus

Trump Spends National Day Of Prayer Yelling At Enemies On Twitter

I Am Worried About My Mom

Hand Sanitizer Hoarder Bros Pretty Much Forced To Donate 17,000 Bottles

Trump Now Willing Travel Agent For The Coronavirus

Germans Reject Trump's Offer To Poach Vaccine Company, Hoard Coronavirus Vaccines Like Purell

Fox News Is Gonna Kill Your Nana Before This Is All Over

37 Embarrassing But Necessary Items That Are Available On Amazon. Tabs, Mon., March 16, 2020

March Democratic Debate: Two Will Enter ... Two Will Probably Also Leave

Italian Tenor Serenades Florence With Lovely Aria About Wanting To Marry A Very Murder-y Princess

The Curious Incident Of The Dogs In The Nice Things

We Know Trump Doesn’t Have Coronavirus Because He Told Us, So Take That To The Bank

Your Weekend Dose Of Coronavirus. Coronavirus NEWS, That Is!

Did Anyone Actually Think Trump Wasn't Going To Get Tested For The Coronavirus?

McConnell Will Sign CV-19 Relief Bill, He Just Has To Shake Five Hundred Hands First

Ronna Romney McDaniel Tweeting Coronavirus Updates From Parallel Earth Where Trump Isn’t Dumbf*ck

What Are Tinfoil Hatters Saying About Coronavirus? Oh, Just Normal Stuff.

Your Weekly Top Ten Doesn't Recommend Social Distancing From This Blog Post!

A Truth Sandwich On Barack Obama's 2009 Swine Flu Response, For President Gateway Pundit

How Fast Can Trump Tank The Markets This Time? Let's Liveblog His Coronavirus Conference And Find Out!

Jerry Falwell Jr. Pretty Sure Constitution Says ONE COW, ONE VOTE!

Mean New York AG Won't Let Alex Jones Sell Magic Anti-Coronavirus Toothpaste, Unfair!

That Time Susan Collins Killed Pandemic Funding And Now We're All Gonna Die

Fox News: Heroin Chicago Gangbanger San Francisco Values WHAT ABOUT BLACK-ON-BLACK CORONAVIRUS?

Want More Coronavirus Tests? Trump Gonna Need You To Do Us A Favor, Though ...

Jared's Brother's Father-In-Law Will Find Cure For Coronavirus, On Facebook!

Biden, Sanders Remind Us What It’s Like To Have An Actual President

Senate's Dumbest Republican Wants You To Look On The Bright Side Of Coronavirus

New 51st Way To Leave Your Lover Revealed! Tabs, Fri., March 13, 2020

You Can't Get Coronavirus From Doggies And Kitties. Here, You Probably Need Some!

Guess Who Wrote Trump's Very Stupid Bad Awful Racist Numbnuts Coronavirus Address? NO, YOU GUESS!

Trump Sprays Irish Premier After Brazilian Prime Minister Sprays Trump. ALLEGEDLY.

Republicans Being Dicks About Coronavirus Sick Leave Bill, Imagine That

Supreme Court Not Too Concerned About Coronavirus, Says Asylum-Seekers Can Just Stay In Cages In Mexico

Joel Osteen Gonna Use Coronavirus To Bring More Souls To The Lord!

NBA Refuses To Basketball From Home, Season Suspended Indefinitely

Wonksplainer: WHAR CORONAVIRUS VACCINE?

Your Daily Dose Of Coronavirus. Coronavirus NEWS, We Mean!

IDEA WORTH CONSIDERING: What If Trump Just Shut His Damn Loser Mouth?

Bernie Sanders: If Tulsi Gabbard Doesn't Have To Quit, I Don't Either

How Bad Was Feds' Initial Response To Coronavirus, On A Scale Of One To 'Let's Not Test Anybody Ever'?

Harvey Weinstein Finally Gets (Some Of) What He Deserves

15 Things That Definitely Won't Cure Coronavirus. Tabs, Thurs., March 12, 2020

Kansas City Mayor Turned Away After Daylight Voting Heist

Is Trump Regime LYING TO CONGRESS About 2020 Russian Election Attacks? Kinda Maybe!

Elizabeth Hasselbeck Confident Power Of Christ, Purell Will Exorcise Coronavirus

Time For Some Coronavirus Quick Bites

Appeals Court Says Congress Exists, Can See Whatever Mueller Grand Jury Sh*t It Wants

Nice Time: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Lifts Up Young Voters Feeling Bummed About Bernie

It's A Jolly Tax Holiday With Trumpy

Some Might Call It A WHOMPIN'!

Spare A Thought, And $2.5 Billion, For America's Poor Oil Barons

Donald Trump Endorses Jeff Sessions For Loser Of Alabama Senate Primary Runoff

Jesus Guy Very Concerned About All The Aborted Babies We Are Eating Every Day!

Preppers' Invention Takes Country By Storm! Tabs, Wed., March 11, 2020

Joe Biden Will Never Be NRA President

Acting DNI Idiot Ric Grenell Scared Of Congress, Not Gonna Go There, NUH UH!

Helpful Trump Campaign Manager Brad Parscale Separating Fools From Their Money

Faith Healing Getting Real Awkward In The Time Of Coronavirus

Who Gave STAND DOWN Order To Remove Coronavirus Posters In Immigration Courts?

LOUIE GOHMERT WILL NOT HAVE YEW SCIENCIN' HIS ASPARAGUS ABOUT CORONAVIRUS

BYU Prof Hit With Death Threats For Not Being Monster About Gay Students Existing

Trump's Cunning Plan To Rescue Economy From Coronavirus Is Secret, Shhhh

This Is What Fox News Is Telling Your Nana About Coronavirus

Don Jr. Wants To Talk About Who Grifting? LOL, Okay Deej!

It's Like There's Not Even Money In Climate Change Denial Anymore

Rush Limbaugh Is Right. It Was Cruel Of Democrats To Suggest Trump Not Have Rallies Because Coronavirus.

Paul Gosar, Stuck At Home In Quarantine, Dreams Of Dying In A Spielberg Movie

7 Ladies Who Broke Up With Prince Harry. Tabs, Tues., March 10, 2020

Watch Out, America, There's THUNDERPENIS IN THE HEARTLAND!

Mean FDA Won't Let Jim Bakker Say His Magic Silver Solution Cures Coronavirus, Just Because It Doesn't

Biden Tells Trump How To Handle Coronavirus Better: How About SHUT THE F*CK UP?

Top 6 Times Joe Scarborough 'Liked' Hillary Clinton

A Short, Mean Post About Tulsi Gabbard, In Advance Of Tuesday's Primaries!

Man Who Threatened Ilhan Omar's Life Sentenced To Prison — But Here's What She Wanted Instead

Trump Fails To Stop Coronavirus Because He Can't Come Up With Mean Nickname

DON'T PANIC! Cause It Won't Help Anyway.

NRCC's 'Socialism Madness' Ad Will Scare Stupid People S**less

Relax, America: President LoudStupid's Tweets Will See Us Through This Crisis

Kindly Florida Woman Changes Voters' Registration To Republican, Sparing Them Eternal Damnation In Socialist Hell

Ted Cruz And Paul Gosar Exercise Good Judgment For Once, Plan To Self-Quarantine

President Petty McNoPants Bails On Pelosi's St. Patrick's Day Lunch

Jesse Jackson Returns Favor, Endorses Bernie Sanders For President

Kamala Harris Adds Some #KHIVE To The #Joementum

Two Doctors, One Pandemic

The Ideal Trip For You And Your Love. Tabs, Mon., March 9, 2020

Happy International Women's Day/UNhappy Daylight Savings Time!

Cat: A Hell Of A Nice Animal, Frequently Mistaken For A Meatloaf

Trump Stuffs (Acting) Chief Of Staff Mick Mulvaney In Trunk, Ships Him To Northern Ireland

Trump's Blackwater Buddy Erik Prince Recruiting Only The Fanciest Ex-Spies To Narc On Liberal Groups

Helpful Reminder: Trump's CDC Guy Thought AIDS Was 'God's Judgment' For Gay People Existing

Finally! A Gas Station For Me, A Woman! Thanks Shell! #GIRLBOSS

Scumbag President Thinks Liz Warren 'Too Mean' For Office He Soils

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Has A MONKEY ON ITS HEAD!

Mitt Romney Coward Again

Alabama Executes Man Convicted Of Crime Another Man Confessed To

Larry Kudlow Reminds Anxious America There's No 'Coronavirus' In 'TEAM'

Screw The News, Let's Watch Hillary Clinton And Andy Cohen Gossip!

Trump Fox Town Hall Like Any Of His Usual Garbage Hitler Rallies, But Acoustic

Nice Time Study! Medicare For All Would Create Lots Of Jobs And Increase Wages

Rick Santelli Sorry He Said You Should Get Sick And Die, For The Economy

New York Times's Bernie Sanders Russia 'Scoop': Red Scare, Yellow Journalism, Entire Rainbow Of Bullsh*t

Elizabeth Warren Still Happy She Murderized Mike Bloomberg Right Before Our Eyes

Hero Judge Gonna Read Unredacted Mueller Report Himself, To See What A Liar Bill Barr Really Is

Texas State Rep Forced Into Runoff By Candidate Who May Not Exist!

Top 15 Most Beautiful Places You Need To See Before You Die. Tabs, Fri., March 6, 2020

Elizabeth Warren Is Out Of The 2020 Campaign, Not Out Of The Fight

Michael Bloomberg Doing GOOD THING. No, Come Back, You A-Holes, We're Serious!

Three GOP Idiots Think We Can Stop Coronavirus With Money Found Under White House Couch Cushions

Hey, Let's Subpoena Jared Kushner About His INTERESTING Real Estate Holdings!

You Forgot Something, Aaron Schock

Black Virginia Senators Explain To GOP Assholes That Confederate Statues Actually Hurt

Here's The Truth Sandwich For Last Night's Outbreak of Donald Trump Coronavirus Lies

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE F*CKING SENATE!

An Elegy For Elizabeth Warren

EPA Head Defends Saintly Scott Pruitt's Unimpeachable Honor (And The Money He Stole From Us)

Chuck Schumer Assaults Supreme Court Justices With ... Their Own Words

Senator Ron Johnson Determined To Make 2020 Election As Stupid As He Is

ALL (MAY BE) FORGIVEN, STEVE BULLOCK! :D

Top Celebrities Go From Slunder To Fabulous Success! Tabs, Thurs., March 5, 2020

Alex Jones Not Bragging, But He's Had Sex And Done Some Killings

We'll Call It 'Grander For Sanders'

Trump Sees No Reason To Take Responsibility For Coronavirus Outbreak While Obama Still Exists

Magnificent Benefactor Donald Trump Donates 1/6th Of A Golf Trip To Fight Coronavirus. Hail Magnificent Benefactor Trump!

Die, Caucuses, Die!

Does The Trump Campaign Not Realize Judges Can Actually Read The Mueller Report For Themselves?

Black Voters Resist When Texas Goes Full Jim Crow On Super Tuesday

STFU Again Thomas Friedman

So, We're Probably Going To Lose Some Abortion Rights Soon

Biden's Big Blowout! EVERYONE, WE LOVE YOU, PLEASE RELAX.

Alabama Sends Roy Moore Back To Mall-Cruising Duty

DC Circuit Court: What Are We, JUDGES?

29 Tweets You'll Relate To If You've Pretty Much Given Up On Dating! Tabs, Wed., March 4, 2020

It's Super Tuesday! Thanks For Asking!

Maybe Roger Stone Just High On CHRIST, You Dicks

Don't Worry, Guys, Trump's Got This Whole ECONOMY Thing HANDLED

A Children's Treasury Of Chris Matthews Being The Actual Worst

Donna Brazile Good Again

Trump Explores Treating Coronavirus By Throwing Officials Under Bus

It's March 3, 2020. WHO WANNA TALK ABOUT HILLARY'S EMAILS?

We Read Devin Nunes's WaPo Libelslander Suit And Boy Is Our Brain Stupid

Did We Put The Maloik On Chris Matthews?

Trump Insider Just Drawing Dicks On Government Climate Research All Day Long

Trump And His Dumbstupid Sons Being VERY SNEAKY About Trolling Democratic Primary Voters

Woman Who Had Her Face Eaten By A Bear Would Like Some Medicare For All, Please!

Maggie Haberman Runs Another Ivanka Press Release Submitted On A Cocktail Napkin

Coronavirus Update: Schools Close, Shoppers Put A Squeeze On Charmin Supplies

How To Get Your Kids To Stop Touching Their Faces. (You Can't.) Tabs, Tues., March 3, 2020

Happy Trails, Trader Joe

Senate's Dumbest Republican: DURRRRRRR TIME FOR INVESTIGATE BIDEN NOW?

Doomsday Cult Stepdad Says Lori Vallow's Kids Are 'Safe,' Fails To Mention Where That Might Be

So Much For Klobmentum

Texas Just Shutting Down All Polling Places That Aren't At Ted Cruz's House

60 Minutes Gives Convicted (BUT PARDONED!) War Crimer Eddie Gallagher A Lovely Tongue Bath

It's Your Super Tuesday Super Primer! Enjoy!

Supreme Court To Hear Obamacare Case: Kill It NOW, Or Kill It LATER?

New Trump DNI Pick Just As Dumb A Liar As Last Trump DNI Pick, Because It's Literally The Same Guy

Did Public Enemy Break Up Over Bernie Sanders, Just Like Your Friendships? It's Complicated!

A Mildly Sappy Post About Pete Buttigieg, From A Gay Who Thinks Pete Is Absolutely 'Gay Enough'

Judge Declares Ken Cuccinelli An Illegal

Trump's Biggest Meme Factory Headed For Closure

Don't Call It A Comeback, Old Handsome Joe's Been Here For Years

Trump #Me-Toos Defenseless American Flag At CPAC

13 Things You Never Knew About Bob Ross. Tabs, Mon., March 2, 2020

What We Talk About When We Talk About Nice Things

Don't Go Taking Coronavirus Advice From Alex Jones!

Tom Steyer Exits Race After His Plaid Tie's Crushing Loss In SC Primary

This Is Your South Carolina Primary Semi-Live Blog And Open Thread!

Trump Acknowledges First Coronavirus Death While Still Insisting It's All A Hoax

What? Chris Matthews Is Sexist To His Female Guests? Who Would Have Thought?

Trump Can’t Sleep, Too Busy President-ing Badly

Your Weekly Top Ten Isn't In Mexico, But The Editrix Is!

If You Liked Jesus Feeding The 5,000, You're Gonna LOVE Trump Sucking And Spitting The 60,000!

White House Finds Coronavirus Lie-Strategy That's Sure To Work Until At LEAST Tomorrow

Nazi Suddenly Realizes Being Nazi Bad, Right Before Being Sentenced To Prison

Congressman From 'Hee Haw' BURNIN' DOWN That Georgia Senate Race!

Fox News Explains How To Prevent Coronavirus: Sterilize Democrats

CPAC Speaker Claims Princess Diana MURDERED By Socialized Medicine (Spoiler: She Was Not!)

Odd-Looking 42-Year-Old Manchild Will Bring Cool GOP Kids To Polls For Daddy

How Did Donald Trump Fight Coronavirus On Thursday? Pfffffffft, How Did He NOT?

Matt Gaetz Is ... Right About A Thing???

Weirdo Whistleblower Thinks 'Touch Me I'm Sick' Bad Way To Respond To Coronavirus, What A Weirdo

Part-Time Truck Driver Ted Cruz Defends Hardworkin' Americans From Latte-Sippin' Liberals

Court Kicks PragerU's 'Free Speech' Lawsuit Right In The Dick

Someone’s Still Gonna Have To Make You A Latte Even If They Have Coronavirus

When You See What These Kids Are Jumping In, Your Jaw Will Drop! Tabs For Friday, Feb. 28, 2020

What Does Your Hannity-Obsessed Uncle Fear More Than Death? Bernie, Socialism, Liz Warren, Sharks, Stairs ...

Mike Pence Will Edit All CDC Coronavirus Messages For Mentions Of Science, Truth, Boobies

Rudy McNoFriends Ain't Got No Friends :(

Trump Sues New York Times For Called Him Russian Puppet And Made Him Mad, Awwwww

Betsy DeVos Stupid Again

Bill Barr's DOJ Gives Fox News New Excuse To Flash Scary Mexican Videos At Your Grandma

Rush Limbaugh So Mad Rod Rosenstein Invented Coronavirus With The Deep State And His Sister

Tucker Carlson: BERNIE'S ARMY OF POT-SELLING BLACK KIDS IS COMING! AND THEY'VE GOT A BUSINESS LICENSE!

Mike Pence Is Your New Czar Of Finding Out If Coronavirus Is Gay, Praying It Away

MAGA Troll Cassandra Fairbanks Is The Man Who Will Fight For Stinky Cat Lady Julian Assange's Honor

How Racist Is GOP's Claim That Mike Bloomberg 'Bought' Lucy McBath? Pretty Damn!

Supreme Court OKs Border Patrol Murdering Mexican Children

12 Genius Casseroles You've Never Eaten During Sex! Tabs, Thursday, Feb. 27, 2020

Liveblogging Donald Trump's 'Our Friend The Coronavirus' Book Report

Dr. Ronny Pretty Sure Joe Biden Can't Pick Out 'Camel' As Good As Bodybuilder Jesus Trump Can!

James O'Keefe EXPOSES ABC News Reporter As Thoughtful Journalist, So Obviously ABC Suspended Him

Is Acting DNI Ric Grenell A Literal Actual Foreign Agent Like Michael Flynn? No, He Couldn't Possibly!

Stop What You're Doing And Watch Jim Clyburn's Endorsement Of His Good Friend Joe Biden

Trump Fires 'Caronavirus' And Stock Market For Disloyalty, Refusing To Investigate Joe Biden

Trump Regime's Newest Power-Player Allowed To Eat Pizza Whenever He Wants, Doesn't Even Have Curfew

Chris Matthews Thinks Mike Bloomberg Too Busy Chopping Down Cherry Trees To Lie About Mistreating Women

Steve Bullock, Get Over Yourself And Run For The Damn Senate!

Roger Stone's Genius Lawyers Pretty Sure Scary Black Lady Tricked Them Into Botching Jury Selection

No Lawmakin' Today, Oregon Republicans Are HIDING! Yes, Again.

Make Your Perfect Avocado Toast And We'll Sort You Into A Hogwarts House! Tabs, Wed., Feb. 26, 2020

Liveblogging 'Entertainment Tonight' Or The Democratic Debate Or Whatever Is On CBS Right Now

The Stage Is Getting Bigger Again, Oh F*ck! Your Charleston Democratic Debate Preview!

Hot Pocket Heiress Gonna Eat All The Hot Pockets, IN JAIL

Donald Trump Thinks He Is 'America.' If That Doesn't Horrify You, You Aren't Paying Enough Attention.

Coronavirus Causing Right-Wing PanDUMBic Of Epidemic Proportions, GET IT? GET IT? GET IT?

Trump's Bizarro CFPB Wants To Let Debt Collectors Hound You About Money You No Longer Owe

How Much Sh*tshow Is Bill Barr's Justice Department Right Now? This Much Sh*tshow.

Trump Administration Totally On Top Of Coronavirus Thing, Will Ask Twitter If They Have Any More Questions

Dear Leader Knows Who Is Illegitimate, And It Is Supreme Court Ladies Who Hurt His Feelings

Supreme Court Pretty Sure Tired, Poor, Huddled Masses Just A Bunch Of Mooches Anyway

Idaho 'Pro-Life' Republican Casually Wonders Why No One Has Nuked Planned Parenthood

Win A Free Toaster With A $10K Deposit! Tabs, Tuesday, Feb. 25, 2020

Marco Rubio Stars In 'Dipsh*ts In Cars Blathering About Socialism'

Want To Make Phyllis Schlafly's Ghost Real Mad? Let's Ratify The ERA Already!

Did Mike Flynn's Pal Barbara Ledeen Get A Prosecutor Fired For Failing To LOCK HER UP Trump's Enemies List?

Joe Scarborough Thinks It's Time The Ladies Left This Primary So The Menfolk Can Sort It Out

PSA: Do Not Fall For Trump's Gaslighting Bullsh*t About Russia's 2020 Election Attacks

Harvey Weinstein Is A Rapist. No 'Allegedly' About It Anymore.

Will Hurd Wants To Diversify GOP, With More Trump-Enabling Reps Like Himself!

India Loves Trump For Some Reason, Is Welcome To Keep Him If It Wants

White House Purges All Deep State Imperialist Running Dogs It Inexplicably Hired

Judge Jeanine Harassing New Yorkers About Whether Trump Or Bloomberg Would #BeBest At 'Construction Worker'

Trump Officials Say They Have 'No Intelligence' ... Stop Laughing, They Are Serious!

Right-Wing Think Tank Hopes Its Greta Thunberg Knock-Off Will Convince People To Torch The Planet

Clint Eastwood Might Vote For Different Empty Chair Than Trump This Time

Here's Why You'll Never Have The Full Nevada Caucus Results! Tabs, Monday, Feb. 24, 2020

Wonkette At The 'Movies': The Wonderful World Of Satanic Panic Propaganda

Sanders Won Nevada, But No One Needs To Be A Chris Matthews About It

Can We All Agree That Barack Obama Should Never Follow Bill Kristol's Consistently Bad Advice?

All That Is Nice Things Melts Into Weird

We Need To Talk About Dick Van Dyke And His Collection Of Animatronic Dick Van Dykes

Don't Go Taking STI Curing Advice From Jim Bakker!

AOC Wears Fancy Dress Instead Of Burlap Sack On Television Show, Idiots Cry Hypocrisy

California: 'Porn License And Registration Please'

Crawling Smear Of Paul Ryan Paul Ryans All Over Us Again

Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Hurt Ted Cruz's Balls, OW!

Trump Cannot, Will Not STFU About Black Lady Juror Who Hurted His Best Friend Roger

Ilhan Omar's Challenger A QAnon-Believing, Alleged-Multiple-Offending Shoplifter On The Run From The Law

Trump Taps Nunes Lackey Kash Patel To Run Nation's Intelligence, If Any

State Department Kinda Making Up Coronavirus Policy As It Goes Along. That Cool?

Tim Scott Predicts Clone Army Of Tim Scotts Voting For Trump

The Top 768,796 Reasons Putin Wants Trump Re-Elected, For GOP Rep. Chris Stewart And Idiots Like Him

Tucker Carlson Has New Target In His Crosshairs, Because He Is A Stochastic Terrorist

Doomsday Cult Mom Arrested!

Orlando Jesusland Layoffs Mean No More Daily Scourgings, Crucifixions

The Next Contestant On 'So You Think You Can DNI' Is ... The Congressman From 'Hee Haw'!

President Klan Robe So Sad The Oscars Aren't Hella Racist Like He Is

DNI Trump Fired Over Russia Briefing ALSO Ukraine Crime Spree Witness, How Coincidence!

Trump Might Make Corporations Pay Minimum Tax, Might Also Quit Job And Just Travel, Man

Here's Why Guys Are Obsessed With This Underwear! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 21, 2020

Russia Trying To Re-Elect Trump, And He Is MAD (That Democrats Found Out)

Don't Cyber With Rudy, Your Computer Will Get The Herp!

Hot Take: Anonymous Jerks Probably Shouldn't Torture Pigeons For Fun

Dana Rohrabacher: If I Did It, Oh Wait, I Did!

ROGER STONE FOR (40 MONTHS IN) PRISON!

Oh No, Campus 'Terrorists' Did Terror To Kent State Gun Girl, By Chanting About Diapers

European Remake Of 'Showgirls' Starring Mike Pompeo And Mick Mulvaney Somehow Worse Than Original

Donald Trump Obsesses Over Hillary Clinton For About 90 Minutes Of 90 Minute Arizona Rally

Meet Ric Grenell, America's First Gay Troll Traitor Acting DNI!

Elizabeth Warren Has A Plan. It Is A Plan For Kicking Ass.

Invisible Woman Elizabeth Warren Almost Mentioned In Coverage Of Debate She Won

Trayvon Martin's POS Killer Sues Pete Buttigieg, Liz Warren For Aggravated Humanity

Power Causes Brain Damage. Tabs, Thurs., Feb. 20, 2020

ARE YOU READY FOR BLOOOOOMBERG????? (No.) (Your Vegas Democratic Debate LIVEBLERG!)

You Like FIGHTS? Then You'll Love Tonight's Democratic Debate!

Did Trump Offer To Pardon Assange In Exchange For Sexxxxy Hillary Dirts?

Did Trump Commute Rod Blagojevich's Sentence For CRIME Reasons Or For DUMBASS Reasons? Yes.

Meghan McCain Thinks Democrats Did 'Piss Poor Job' Of Reminding Her Trump Exists

America's Greatest Artist, Jon McNaughton, Discovers Greatest Metaphor For The Media Ever

The Hill SO SORRY For Putting John Solomon’s Ukraine Lies In Wrong Section Of Newspaper, We Good?

Swing State GOP Senators Content To Hold Trump's Hand, Drive Off Cliff Together

Trump Just Fired Another Ukraine Crime Spree Witness, No Big

Trump Pardons Have Nothing To Do With Donations To His Campaign. NOTHING AT ALL.

Ohio GOP Demands Investigation Of Dem Who *Didn't* Vote Twice

Is Bill Barr Cockblocking The SDNY? Sure Damn Looks Like It!

NBC News/Wall Street Journal Present 'The Mystery Of The Vanishing Elizabeth Warren'

Europeans Appear Unimpressed With Our Beautiful American Health Care Choices

Susan Collins 'Very Disappointed' In Poll Showing She's A Big Loser

Terrifying Japanese Ghosts That Will Haunt Your Dreams. Tabs, Wed., Feb. 19, 2020

Trump Pardons Every Criminal He Knows, Which Is A Lot Of Criminals

Alan Dershowitz Peddling Anti-Semitic Conspiracy Theories To Breitbart, What Fun We Have In Hell!

Fox News: Don't Compare Mayor Pete's Marriage To Trump And Rush Limbaugh's Cheaty Slutting, NO FAIR!

Ted Cruz Was NOT OWNED. HE TOTALLY GOT IT, OKAY?

Boy Scouts Hoping To Earn 'Paying Restitution To Sex Abuse Victims' Merit Badge

A Dizzying Array Of Brilliant Genius Thoughts From Our Leader As He Sat On This Morning's Terlet

Kevin McCarthy: Donald Trump Always Hangs Out With Everyday Working Folk He Refuses To Pay

John Bolton Invited To Kick Self In Dick At Earliest Convenience

Candace Owens Says Bernie Sanders Is As Racist As The Guy Who Passed The Civil Rights Act

Trump Thinks You'd Like A Nice Side Of Mercury With Your Coal

Rudy Giuliani And Erik Prince Still Very Under Investigation, DOJ Leakers Here To Remind You!

Why Are All These People On Fiverr Selling Spells To Make People Millionaires?

One Million Moms (One Mom) Poutraged Over 'Demonic' Disney Show

Damn Right Mitch McConnell Would Fill SCOTUS Seat In Election Year While Ordering Code Red

How Personal Tragedy Inspired Me To Lead Diversity And Inclusion At Papa John’s. Tabs, Tues., Feb. 18, 2020

Why Does This Jesus Man Want Restaurants To Fail?

CURSES! Bill Barr's Plot To Jail Ex-FBI Guy Andy McCabe FOILED AGAIN!

Meet Dennis, The Iowa GOP-er All Buttered Up About Boner Fraud. Dennis Is Weird.

Maybe Trump's Budget Cuts Will Force Lazy Coronavirus Patients To Get Well

Trump's Jesus Lady, Paula White, Wants Your Electric Bill Money

Lev Parnas Maybe More F*cked. Who (Bill Barr) Will Save Rudy Giuliani Now????

The Fantabulous Lies of One Kellyanne Conway

Bill Barr Ratf*cks DOJ ... No, This Is A New One! For Trump's Pal Turkey!

We Used To Give Migrant Kids Therapy To *Help Them*, Not Nail Them, Isn't That So Funny?

Virginia Nice Time Streak Ends As 'Moderate' Dems Help Kill Assault Weapon Ban

Senator From 'Deliverance' Talking About 'Honky Tonk Woman' And Brain Damage, We Are So Confused

Richard Dawkins And The Eugenics Argument That Literally No One Asked For

That Softie Mike Bloomberg Won't Make Rudy Giuliani Give Up Loving Stop-And-Frisk

Medicare For All Would Save Money And Lives, Say Epidemiology Nerds At Yale

Ivanka Trump Speechifies At Global Women's Forum Because Women Haven't Suffered Enough

Rain, Bloomberg Wash Out Donald Trump's Daytona 500 Visit

21 Infuriating People Who Should Be Banned From Restaurants For Life. Tabs, Mon., Feb. 17, 2020

Something Something Sunday, Something Something Nice Things

Ted Cruz Positively Outraged That The Government Would Interfere With His Reproductive Rights

Rand Paul Thinks YouTube Has Some Obligation To Torture Its Users With Clips Of Him Speaking

Florida Man May Refuse Dialysis If He Can't Bring Cardboard Cutout Of Trump With Him For Emotional Support

Economist Suggests Infecting A Ton Of People With Coronavirus In Order To Help People With Coronavirus

Creepy Child Nazi Banned From YouTube, Finally

Amy McGrath, Please Beat Mitch McConnell Now, We Are All Sick Of His Stupid Face

Your Weekly Top Ten Is A 15-YEAR-OLD DOG NOW!

Michael Avenatti? More Like Michael Ave-NAUGHTY!

Bill Barr Just Checking For 50th Time To See If Michael Flynn WUZ FRAMED!111!1!GHAZI!1!!

Unqualified Stephen Miller Crony Is New Top Lawyer At DHS

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Men Are Terrible And Everyone Is Drowning In Debt!

Bill Barr's Fake Russia Probe Pretty Sure Hillary Clinton #Pizzagated CIA Into Framing Russia For Oh F*ck It

Stephen Miller's Latest F*cked-Up Bullsh*t Is SOOOOOOME F*CKED-UP BULLSH*T

Democrats Might Need Restraining Order Against Creepy Republicans Stalking Their Meetings

Trump Extorts New York On Twitter, Just Right There, Right Out In The Open

Dennis Prager Feels Like The Left's N-Word Because He Can't Just Say ... You Know.

Oh My God, Bill Barr, Fuuuuuuuuuuuck OFFFFFFFFFF

Portland, OR Man ‘Wins’ $1 Million On ‘Who Wants To Get Screwed By Racist Cops?’

John Kelly Says Fox News Makes You A Idiot. And By 'You,' He Means ...

Delicious Dump Cake For When You Get Dumped! Tabs, Fri,. Feb. 14, 2020

Can Rush Limbaugh And Ben Ferguson Please Put Their Yucky Trump Boners Back In Their Panties? Thx.

Hopey Changey Jobby Againy Go Back To White Housey, Guess She Failedy In Californy, Big Frowny

Donald Trump Found A Black Woman To Blame For Roger Stone's Crimes

HHS Sec Tells Senate Trump's Obamacare Replacement Is Not The Plan They're Looking For (Because He's Never Had One, Never Will)

Bill Barr, Come Explain Your Trifling Ass To Kamala Harris, Elizabeth Warren Or (And) GTFO

Marie Yovanovitch Will Stick Her Sensible Wedge Pump Right Up Mike Pompeo's Craven A**

Keep Talking, John Kelly. You're Not Done Atoning.

Hippie Enviros And Big Timber Reached A Deal, And Oregon GOP Is Losing Its Miiiiiiind

Trump's Reichstag Fire Is Here, And It's Going To Burn For The Next Nine Months

Corey Lewandowski And The Mystery Of The Dogfaces That Didn't Bark

'OK, Boomer' Is Not The N-Word. The N-Word Is The N-Word.

Go To Jail, James Bakker. Again.

McDonald's Menu Items Even The Staff Won't Eat! Tabs, Thurs., Feb. 13, 2020

Put Some SPICEY In Your Lover's Sexxx Panties, With A Sean Spicer Sexxx Panties Valentine's Video!

Why Jim Jordan Cryin'? Because Those Ohio State Sex Abuse Victims STILL Won't Shut Up And Wrestle!

Rep. Ayanna Pressley Learns The Fed Chair Some Black History, How To Mic-Drop

UK Teens Tired Of Waiting For Climate Education, So They Drafted A Law To Require It

What's Dumber Than Devin Nunes Or John Ratcliffe As Director Of National Intelligence? This A-Hole.

'Drunk' Lawmaker Fights Blind Lawmaker In Capitol Parking Lot Because West Virginia

Utah Politicians Don't Think They Need Prisons Full Of Sister Wives

PULL THE F*CKING FIRE ALARM

Bill Barr Breaks The Justice Department

Sanders Wins New Hampshire With Nana's Best Grandson Close Behind

New Hampshire Ends Campaigns Of One Candidate You've Heard Of, Plus Two Others

DOJ Sues Over Sanctuary Policies, Because F*ck Immigrants Is Why

Earwax Causes Hearing And Memory Loss. Here's The Best Way To Get Rid Of It. Tabs., Wed., Feb. 12, 2020

Who Won New Hampshire? It WAS Your Mom? Man, Wonkette Is NEVER RIGHT.

Rush Limbaugh Has Question About Pete Buttigieg Kissing His Husband. Wonkette Has Answer.

Coming To Theaters, That Movie What Made Trump Sh*t His Underpants!

Iowa Republicans Dicking Around With Food Stamps For Jesus

Bill Barr Discovers Sentencing Reform, But Only For Roger Stone

FBI Gonna Catch All Those Non-Existent Pro-Choice Violent Extremists, Because 'Both Sides'

Bloomberg Beats Trump In Dickhole Notch While Trump's Busy Trying To Block Traffic

If Kris Kobach Wants To Get Spanked By Another Midwestern Lady With Sensible Hair, Who Are We To Kinkshame?

Grifty Mississippi 'Charity' Eated All The Welfare Monies

Hey! Do You Know Who Is ‘Electable?’ Literally All Of The Democratic Candidates!

GOP Senators Report From Inside Trump's Ass On How Great It Is Alex Vindman Got Fired

Former IA Gov Tom Vilsack Wins $150,000 Powerball Prize. That's It. That's The Headline.

Roger Stone Is Goin' To Prison! BUT FOR HOW LONG?

This Is What Anti-Choicers Actually Believe Now

12 Things Stewardesses Spot In 3 Seconds. Tabs, Tues., Feb. 11, 2020

Tulsi Gabbard Thinks It's OK When Trump Fires Your Boyfriend Alex Vindman And His Brother Just To Be A Dick

Trump's Budget Is 50 Percent Magical Thinking, 50 Percent Bullsh*t

GOP Will Save Climate By Painting Smokestacks Green, Hoping Everybody Fooled

Trump Intel Chiefs Hearing Rescheduled To Keep From Hurting Grandpa LoudBad's Delicate Feelings

FBI Says White Supremacists As Dangerous As ISIS, So The Alt-Right Is Tweeting About 'Antifa Terrorists'

BlazeTV Host Takes Home Oscar For Best Achievement In Twitter Bigotry

Have The Cows Been Telling Devin Nunes Lies About Marie Yovanovitch, Or Is He Just That Stupid?

Babies Hurt By Flint's Water Are Struggling In School. Thanks, Fiscal 'Conservatives.'

Graham Announces Joint Barr-Giuliani Investigation Of Bidens, Because We Are A Banana Republic Now

President Pimp Daddy Gonna Approve All The Federal Architecture

How Many Liberals Can We Blame For The Shooting Of NYPD Officers?

Fertilizer CEO Slips, Falls Into His Own Racist Bullshit In Exchange With Uber Driver

Hero GOP Senators Tried To Stop Trump From Firing Sondland, Very Inspiring, How Brave, Wow

Lindsey Graham's Post-Impeachment Victory Lap

Can We Please Talk About How Pete Buttigieg's Healthcare Plan Is Absolutely Bonkers?

Banning Mitt Romney From CPAC Might've Saved His Life, Says Hero Matt Schlapp

Harry, Meghan, Queen, Other Ones, Do Thing. Tabs, Mon., Feb. 10, 2020

Recipe Hub: Stracciatella, A Soup Made Of Things Likely to Be In Your Fridge Right Now

Wonkette Book Club: Petty Revenge Against Critics? Glad *That's* A Thing Of The Past!

Fragile Far-Right Troll Really Upset That Nancy Pelosi Ripped Up Some Papers

Are You A 'Republican Goddess?' If So, We Have Found Your Future Husband.

Not Having Health Care 'Incentivizes' People To Be Healthy, Says Fox News Doctor

Relax, Chris Matthews. No One Is Going To Behead You.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Running Late, Let's Make This Fast

PURGE BEGINNETH

Rudy And His Hairballs Probably Already Thinkin' Up Some Good Old Lies About Bernie Sanders

Christian Lawyer Mat Staver Can't Believe The Government Is Going to Force Everyone To Be Gay Now

Let's Top Off The Longest Decade Of The Month With Another Democratic Debate!

CPAC's Hottest Sexxx Play This Year Not Shame Secret Grindr Hookups, Allegedly!

Four-Year-Old Child Dead After Mom Takes Flu-Curing Tips From Anti-Vaxx Facebook Group

Trump Charged Secret Service Up The Wazoo To Protect Him At His Trash Palaces

Bill Barr's New Civil Rights Focus: Sometimes People Hurt Cops' Feelings :(

Internal Fox News Memo Shows They Knowingly Broadcast Ukraine Dezinformatzya

If Ukraine Won't Do Fake Biden Investigations, Senate Republicans Will DO 'EM THEIRSELF!

There Are Known Unknowns And Elizabeth Warren Knows Them

Susan Collins, Please Get A F*cking Grip

Nice Time: Virginia Secedes From Anti-Gay Union, Passes LGBTQ Nondiscrimination Bill

Read This Before You Eat Any Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Tabs, Fri., Feb. 7, 2020

'Fox & Friends' Just Christ-Shaming Mitt Romney For Loving Jesus Too Much. Totally Normal.

Nancy Pelosi Rips Trump In Half Again During Weekly Press Conference

Matt Gaetz Too Stupid For Laura Ingraham

Release The Bees And Let Us Warm Ourselves On This Wicker Man David Brooks

GOP PAC Runs Ad Promoting Progressive, Dynamic Black Lady Senate Candidate ... Oh ... No?

Are We Seriously Going To Accuse Someone Of Rape Based On One Comment On A Shady Gossip Blog?

Stephen Miller Gonna End 'Sanctuary Cities' By Pissing Off Airline Passengers

Trump Vows At Prayer Breakfast To Hunt Down Jesus's Real Killers, The Democrats Who Impeached Him

TOTAL VINDICATION! TINY HANDS! REVEEEEEENGE! Liveblogging Trump's Grown-Up Impeachment Victory Speech!

Chuck Grassley Sics Secret Service On Hunter Biden, Assume Democracy Dead

Pissed About The Senate Impeachment Vote? GET THE F*CKERS OUT.

Mike Love Continues Being The Worst, Hanging Out With Trump Junior At Trophy Hunting Convention Edition!

Nice Time! NYC Helping Out New Moms Like A Common Finland

How Does The GOP Solve A Problem Like Mitt Romney?

What Happens When A Man Grows A Beard, According To Science. Tabs, Thurs., Feb. 6, 2020

Somebody Make A Statue Of Mitt's Car Elevator, He's Voting To Convict! Your Final Trump Impeachment TOTAL EXONERATION Liveblog!

From Now On We Vote Like Normal People, Dammit!

Tom Steyer Paid SC Legislator $43K For One Month Of Advanced Blackness Studies

Elizabeth Warren Promises Little Girl She'll Close The Camps

Nancy Pelosi Didn't Just Tear Trump's Speech In Half, SHE TORE HIS FEELINGS IN HALF!

Prada Promises To Cut Out The Blackface, Realize It's 2020

Former Rep. Kweisi Mfume, Actual Resident Of Elijah Cummings's District, Wins Primary For His Seat

Is President Crime Boss TOTALLY EXONERATED Yet? Your Impeachment Vote Preview!

Donald Trump Read His Speech. Nancy Pelosi Ripped It Right Up

BREAKING: Steve Bannon Reveals Fox News Is In The Bag For Donald Trump

Senate Republicans Mostly Agree Trump Kinda Sucks, Should Remain POTUS

Donald Trump Has A New Post-Acquittal Enemies List And Every Name Is 'John Bolton'

Everything You Need To Know Before Buying Eggs Again! Tabs, Wed., Feb. 5, 2020

Come Not Watch The State Of The Union With Your Wonkette!

Excuse Me, But Some Tennessee Republican Regularly Chugs Straight Chocolate Syrup And I Have Questions

Trump Not Discriminating Against Muslims Anymore, Just Black People. OK And Some Muslims.

Homeless Man Forced To Lick A Urinal Is Suing The Sh*t Out Of Honolulu P.D.

Did CIA PETE And COBRA Do The RIGGED?

WTF, Iowa?

Coast Guard Nazi Going To Prison. For The Mass-Murder Planning, Not The Racism.

Ben Shapiro's Constitution Literacy Tests For Voting Would Ensure Trump, GOP Can't Vote. LET'S DO IT!

Lisa Murkowski Sick Of All The Corruption, Will Vote To Let It Continue

Judicial Watch Just Making Up Iowa 'Voter Fraud' Numbers, As If Iowa Needed Their Sh*t

U.S. Bank's Simple Wisdom: Look For The Helpers. And Fire Them.

We Finally Know Why This Actress You Sort Of Remember Disappeared From Your TV! Tabs, Tues., Feb. 4, 2020

Oh No All The Nazi Website People Are Getting Laid Off

President Great Words Will Write Very Own SOTU Address Without Parents' Help

Goddamn It, We Forgot The Impeachment Trial Was Actually Still On

Ex-Wells Fargo CEO Fined $17.5 Million, Will Have To Make It On $116 Million Of Parachute Left

Republicans Aren't 'Afraid' Of Trump. They're Afraid Of Losing Power. Period.

Mike Pompeo Will Let NPR Come Back When They Are As Good At Journalism As Fox News

WTF Is An Iowa Caucus Anyway?

Lindsey Graham Is No Longer Welcome At Jill Biden, Her Husband's House

Lamar Alexander, Ronna ​McDaniel​ Love It When Trump Does Crimes

Mormon Doomsday Novelist Claims Ghost Of Dead Wife Hooked Him Up With Mom Of Missing Kids

Joni Ernst Will Castrate Joe Biden For All The Ukraine Criming

J.Lo, Shakira Deliver Super Bowl Halftime Show Worthy Of All Kansas Cities Everywhere

SC Republicans Want To Give Trump His Own Confederate Memorial

7 Time Lottery Winner: You're All Playing The Lottery Wrong. Tabs, Mon., Feb. 3, 2020

Screw Sports, Let's All Watch Some 'Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?' Sequels On YouTube!

Donald Trump Doesn't Want No Short Mike Bloomberg 'Round Here

Montana Republican Very Sure The Constitution Says He Can Murder All The Socialists

PETA's Rejected Super Bowl Ad 'Takes A Knee' For Spiders, Rats, Maybe Black People

Hey! Do You Still Need Some Food To Make For The Super Bowl? We've Got You Covered!

The People The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau Regulates Are Trying To Kill It

Mitt Romney Uninvited To The CPAC Ball, Will Have To Stay Home And Wash His Hair

Donald Trump Wants To Bring Back Landmines, Make Not-America Maimed Again

​MS Rep's 'Heart Would Melt' If Only She Could Violate Schoolchildren's Constitutional Rights

Kentucky Rep. Just Wants To Be Loved By Trump. Is That So Wrong?

Wonkette's Top Ten Liveblew Itself!

No Impeachment, No Problem! Bolton's Got Leaks FOREVER

Pick Another White Guy To Take Off Your Money Because Stacey Abrams Is Gonna Be President

Trump Tried To Grab John Bolton By The Mustache In MAY. F*cking MAY! Impeachment Liveblog, Day Whatever!

The Expected Joyless Depravity Of An Unhinged Trump Rally

Lamar Alexander Cuts President Baby In Half, Everyone Pleased!

Can Someone Just Lock Chris Cillizza In A Room Somewhere Until America Isn't Broken?

Kushner Warns Palestinian Leaders Not To Make Him Read A 26th Book About This Crap

Use This Instead Of Butter For Best Grilled Cheese Sandwiches! Tabs, Fri., Jan. 31, 2020

White House Declares Bolton Book Classified, Invites Him To Publish It NEVER

Another Day, Another Sh*tshow. Impeachment Q & A Liveblog, Day Two!

Trump Brands Medicaid Cuts As 'Healthy Adult Opportunity.' That's It. That's The Joke.

Wilbur Ross: Always Look On The Bright Side Of The Coronavirus

Georgia Rep. Doug Collins Movin' On That Senate Race Like A Tick Hound In Heat

Michigan Football Coach Suspended Because He Wanted To Have Dinner, Drinks With Actual Hitler

Kickass Congresswomen Help Sick Migrant Six-Year-Old Girl

Pro-Trump 'Charity' Just Trying To Buy Black Votes With Non-Metaphorical Money

Power Companies Hate This!! Tabs, Thurs., Jan 30, 2020

No, Wonkette's Not Giving Larry Klayman $75,000, LARRY.

Is Trump The World's Stupidest Criminal? Yes. Your Impeachment Q & A Liveblog!

Martha McSally Is No Barry Goldwater, So She's Got That Going For Her

Mitch McConnell Goes Limp On Impeachment Witnesses

War Crimer Eddie Gallagher Wonders Who Will Rid Him Of 'Cowards' Who Testified Against Him

Professional Hatemonger Gavin McInnes Devastated To Find There Are Social Consequences To Being An Asshole

Ramapough Indians Win One ... Make That Three Against Sh*tty New Jersey White People

Joe Biden, Dianne Feinstein Didn't Say That

How To Empty Your Bowels Every Morning. This Surgeon Tells You How! Tabs, Wed., Jan. 29, 2020

Joni Ernst, Ted Cruz, Wyoming Guy You Don't Care About Have Three-Way Impeachment Worst-Off

Lonely Rudy Searching Tinder For A Congress That Wants To See His Junk

Trump Lawyers: Congress Can't Not Go To Court To Decide Subpoenas Court Has No Say Over!

Republicans Outraged Over Republican Mocking Republicans On CNN

WHAR JOHN BOLTON? Impeachment Liveblog, Day 1,265!

Supreme Court Says Stephen Miller Can F*ck Your Tired And Your Poor As Much As He Wants

Shady-Ass FL County Tax Collector Accused Of Plotting Low-Rent Bitcoin Heist

Notorious Sandy Hook Truther Arrested For Tormenting Victim's Father

Chris Wallace Awards Katie Pavlich No Points For Impeachment Lies, Hopes God Has Mercy On Her Soul

John Bolton, Bill Barr Just *Hate* All Those Favors Trump Does For Dictators!

Mike Pompeo BANISHES NPR Reporter Even Though It Is A Different NPR Reporter

Doomsday Cult Couple Found Vacationing At Hawaiian Resort, Without Their Missing Kids

Supreme Court Poised To Funnel Your Tax Money To God-Bothering School

Minneapolis Getting To $15 Minimum Wage Four Years From Now, HOW WILL CORP'S LIVE???

Need Another Reason For Universal Healthcare? How About Ending *Medical Debtor's Prison*?

What Your Body Does When You Quit Alcohol! LOL Like You Would Do That. Tabs, Tues., Jan. 28, 2020

Iowa, New Hampshire Crappy Way To Start A Democratic Primary

Lev Parnas And His Badass Weed Lawyer Dropping Fire Mixtapes Like POW!

How Many Trump Crimes Will His Lawyers Confess To Today? (Impeachment Trial Liveblog, Day Whatever!)

Puerto Rico Now At 'French Revolution' Stage

Egad, Mike Pompeo LIED About NPR Reporter?

Democrats Tell New York Times Which Celebrity They Most Want To Bang

Whaaaaat? Republicans Personally Benefitted From Tax Cuts They Voted For? How Could That Be?!

Tom Cotton, Jim Lankford Pull Sunday Lying Duty

Stephanie Grisham: Why Is Adam Schiff So 'Obsessed' With Democracy?

John Bolton Is Back To F*ck Sh*t Up!

Underwear Mistakes You Didn't Know You Were Making! Tabs, Mon., Jan. 27, 2020

Recipe Hub: Rhode Island Pizza Strips, The Delicious Pizza You Can Serve To Your Vegan Friends

Wonkette Book Club: The Wishful Thinking War

White House Spiritual Advisor Wants God To Abort All The Satanic Pregnancies

Trump Puts Twitter Hit Out On Adam Schiff But The True Threat To Democracy Is Schiff's Rudeness

Pompeo Attempts To Stick Up Reporter, Winds Up Shooting Himself In The D*ck

And Then The Saints Came Marching In

Terry Crews Throws Gabrielle Union From Back Of The Bus Into Oncoming Path Of Another Bus

They've Found This Year's Culture War And It's Drag Queens, Books

Man Who Has Almost Definitely Paid For His Share Of Abortions Gives Speech At Forced Birth Rally

Liveblogging The Republican Impeachment Response, Which Will Be Duuuuuuhhhhhh (Day Five)

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10? YUP, IMPEACH!

TAKE HER OUT! HEADS ON PIKES! Trump Impeachment Trial Liveblog, Day Four!

Nancy Drew And The Mystery Of Why Some Dude Writer Thought It Would Be A Good Idea To Kill Her

Immigrant Teens Not Yet Being Waterboarded, So Why All The Fuss?

Trump Big, Peach Small! How He Will Fit Into This Roundup?

St. Louis Top Prosecutor Kimberly Gardner Suing EVERYONE For Balls-Out Racism

Betsy DeVos Flunks History, Human Decency

Trump Murders Last Broadcast Journalist. Jim Lehrer, 1934-2020

Gun Dealers So Happy They've Scared Women Into Buying More Guns

Black Guy Stuck In Racism Infinity Loop When Bank Won't Deposit His Discrimination Settlement Checks

How This Person Who Used To Be Famous But Isn't Anymore Dropped 100 Pounds! Tabs, Fri., Jan. 24, 2020

Bored Sixth-Graders Offer Tips To Help Republicans Behave Themselves At Impeachment Trial

We *Think* Democrats Would Like Some Witnesses And Documents. Impeachment Liveblog, Day Three!

Rudy Giuliani Asserts Blabbermouth-Henchman Privilege

Fox News Keeps America Up To Date On Everything But Impeachment

Nice Time: Utah Will Stop Trying To Torture The Gay Out Of Kids

If Tulsi Gabbard Wants To Ride One Of Devin Nunes's Cows, She Should Just Ask

Stupid Man Who Is Somehow US President Embarrasses Himself At Davos

That One Actress's Face And Body Are *Different* From 40 Years Ago! Tabs, Thurs., Jan. 23, 2020

Jeff Bezos Responds To MBS Phone Hack By Setting Saudi Arabia On Fire

John Roberts Not Our Real Dad, Can't Make Us Be Nice. Impeachment Trial Liveblog, Day Two!

Nice Time: Virginia To Stop Celebrating Slave-Owning Traitors!

'Kill The Gays' Bill Pastor Scott Lively Declares Self Most Persecuted Man In America

Trump Gets Spanked By North Korean Dictator, Apparently Likes It

Angry White People With Guns Is Fulfillment Of MLK's Dream, Says Really Dumb Person

Liz Warren Unveils Plan To Remove Trump Stench From White House Curtains

Rude Church Kicks Out All The Old People In Hopes Of Attracting Young Hep Cats

Study Reveals After You Die, You KNOW YOU ARE DEAD! (Applicable If You Are Jesus Only.) Tabs, Wed., Jan. 22, 2020

Mitch McConnell Makes Turtle-Piddle All Over Trump Impeachment Trial (Liveblog, Day One!)

Alan Dershowitz Is Keeping His Panties On For This Impeachment, So Don't Even Bother Asking

Study: People Somehow Less Jazzed About Capitalism These Days

Hillary Clinton Fires Up The Great Reliving Of 2016, Because That Sh*t Was Missing For Sure

Say Goodbye To Your Little Friends!

Trump Campaign Manager, Data Guru Very Bad At Campaigning, Data

NYT Throws Harvey Weinstein A Good Old Fashioned Pity Party

Parnas and Bondy: Not The Heroes We Asked For, But Maybe The Heroes We Got?

Celebrities Who Destroyed Their Careers! (They Are All Donald Trump.) Tabs, Tues., Jan. 21, 2020

Dennis Prager: A Lying Liar Telling Lies About Yr Wonkette

Uh Oh, GOP Senators, Donald Trump Jr. GON' GITCHA!

Let's Play A Quick Round Of 'WTF Is Kellyanne Conway Saying Here?'

We Couldn't Even Go A Full MLK Weekend Without A Mass Shooting

Gun Nuts And Nazis Descend On Virginia To Protest Entirely Reasonable Gun Control Laws

Bill Barr Gets Caught With His D*ck In Rudy's Cookie Jar ... Again.

Trump's Impeachment Response, Or The Wild-Assed Ravings Of A Toddler Who Missed Naptime? Why Not Both!

NYT Co-Endorses Warren, Klobuchar Like When Trump Wanted The Black Guy To Share Apprenticeship With The White Chick

Bond Girl Britt Eklund's Heart Breaks For Schoolboys Who Can't Sexually Harass Classmates With Impunity

Mike Bloomberg Gonna Make Black Folks Rich AF

Alan Dershowitz Sure Is A Funny Liberal!

How Sh*t-Scared Are Senate Republicans Right Now? This Sh*t-Scared.

Latest Parnas Doc Dump Wants To Know: How You Livin' Devin Nunes?

Door Dash Drivers Not Even Making The Minimum Wage ... Of 1968

Ilhan Omar Disrespects Fictional Memory Of Conservative MLK

Damn Shame Trump Has All These Crooks Hanging Around Him, Doing His Criminal Bidding

Are You On Medicare? If You Live In [Town/City/Unincorporated Area] READ THIS! Tabs, Mon., Jan. 20, 2020

Dead Psychic Still Scamming Grieving Relatives FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

Wonkette Book Club: How George W. Bush Turned An Obsession Into A War

Dennis Prager: Don't Judge Trump By Private Remarks That Are Exactly The Same As Who He Is Publicly

So A Bunch of Nasty Women Marched In Chicago Yesterday

Space Force Debuts Snazzy New Uniforms That Make Total Sense For Space

Florida Just Seeing If The 24th Amendment Ban On Poll Taxes Is Really Written In Stone

National Archives Thrilled To Exhibit Pictures Of Women Marching In The Street For No Particular Reason

Nice Christian Lady Just Wants To Insult Some Fat People (For Their Own Good)

Your Weekly Top Ten Is BEJEWELED!

Rightwing 'Women's Forum': Diverse Stock Photos Demand Tax Cuts For The Rich

And Now We Know EXACTLY Why Rex Tillerson Called Trump A 'F*cking Moron'

Meet The NYT's 'Anti-Immigration Liberal' (Hint He Works At A Hate Group!)

Let's Meet Donald Trump's All-Star Impeachment Defense Team Of ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?

Do Not Fall For President Troll King's Sh*t Stirring

Trump Did CRIME With Ukraine Freeze And Republicans Are Like YAY CRIME!

Neo-Nazis Arrested Ahead Of Gun Rally Thought They Were Gonna Start A Race War

'No Americans Were Harmed' In Iran Missile Attack? Troops With Brain Injuries Might Say Otherwise

Lara Trump Exposes Joe Biden As Un-American, Flag-Hating Stutterer

Lev Explains It All, Episode Two: How I Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love Talking To Rachel Maddow

Sorry, Texas, Judge Says There's No 'Racist Dicks Can Reject Refugees' In 'USA'

Rep. Ayanna Pressley: Bald, Brave, Badass, Frickin' *Beautiful*

Oh, Sarah Palin, How We've Missed Your Crazy Talking, Dumbass Self

FBI Takes On​ Public Enemy Number One: James Comey

Harvard Law Prof's One Weird Trick! Sues NYT For 'Clickbait Defamation'

Blogger Makes Biggest Mistake On Instagram! (It Is 'Being On Instagram') Tabs, Fri., Jan. 17, 2020

Lev Parnas? President Truth-Mouth Doesn't Know Her.

Trump Finally Gets Ukraine To Announce Criminal Investigation, LOL

Republicans Take Brief Moment To Not Suck So Terribly

Who's In The *Third* Lev Parnas Text Dump? Your Mom? Your Mom Should Stop That!

Martha McSally Insults CNN Reporter, Makes In-Kind Donation To Mark Kelly's Campaign

Here's Your Lev Parnas Rachel Maddow Recap, OH MY GOD

Vanity Fair: Political Genius Trump Has Advantage With Idiots

Trump Drops Another Shoe On Puerto Rico

Virginia Makes It Official: Women Are People

Susan Collins Sets New Olympic Record For Susan Collins-Ing

Prevent Memory Loss With This One Weird Trick! (It Is So Many Drugs) Tabs, Thurs., Jan. 16, 2020

This DOES Sound Like Matt Gaetz!

Liz Warren: BAD GRANDMA! Says Gun-Humping Garbage Person Dana Loesch

Puerto Rico Finally Getting Its Damn Disaster Aid

Michael Avenatti Has Lost His Damn Mind, Will Now Look For It In Jail

Eric Swalwell Being Mean To Chris Cillizza Like A Common Wonkette, Awwww Yay!

WTF Do The Parnas Texts Show, And Can We Splain Them You? YES!

DNC's Perez Very Proud Of All His Diverse White Folks

California Gonna Battering-Ram Homelessness! Wait, No, That Was The Squat Oakland Families Were Living In

Nancy Pelosi's Impeachment Managers IS A COP! (Or At Least Val Demings Is.)

Donald Trump Showers Us With Deranged Nonsense At Milwaukee Rally

'Oh No, Not Our Favorite Actor Vince Vaughn!' Cries All Of Liberal America

Suck It, Trump: Switch From Coal To Renewable Energy Could Save Billions A Year

Michael Flynn Not Guilty, YOU ARE THE GUILTY!

Get Your Personal Fasting Plan Today! (It Is #DoWhatever.)Tabs, Wed., Jan. 15, 2020

Rudy, You Cannot Lie When Lev Parnas Has Receipts!

Democratic Debaters ... GO! An Elegant Wonkette Liveblog

Bernie Said Joe Told Amy That Pete And Liz Are Faking Being Gay Ladies. Your Democratic Debate Preview!

Oh Yeah Sh*t's Getting Real

Does Gun Girl Kaitlin Bennett Hate America And Also The Constitution?

Lev Parnas Wants To Sing Like A Canary. Also Like Sister Sledge.

Australian Prime Minister Too Tone Deaf To ​Fiddle While His Country Burns

Looks Like We Might Get A Real Senate Impeachment Trial, Y'all!

Did Marrying A Woman Turn Prince Harry Into A Woman? Michelle Malkin Thinks So!

Trump Just Robbing The Troops To Pay For WALL Again, Totally Normal

Let's Play 'Russia If You're Listening' Mad Libs! Come On, It'll Be Fun!

Study Finds 'Abortion Regret' Exists Only In Fevered Imaginations Of GOP Legislators

Donald Trump Is A Preexisting Condition And Should Not Be Covered

Man Who Claimed Lipstick Was Like A Boner On Your Face Can't Get Job

30 Forbidden Places On Earth No Human Is Allowed (It's Yr Vag). Tabs, Tues., Jan. 14, 2020

Shut Your Racist Mouth, Fox News, Cory Booker Isn't 'Lazy'

West Virginia Delegate Not A *Super Genius.* He's Just The Regular Kind.

What's Wrong, Impeachy The Clown, Is Nancy Pelosi Making You Cry A Whole Bunch?

If Kris Kobach Wants To Lose Another Seat For The GOP, Who Are We To Argue?

Tom Steyer Thinks Voters Love Him For Who He Is Not For All His Money

The Federalist: What Is The Point Of A Wedding If You Can't Hold It Where People Were Enslaved?

Cory Booker Peaces Out

Dunno How To Say This, But Russia Might Be Attacking 2020 Election To Hurt Biden And Help Trump

Cut The Crap Already, We Killed Soleimani Because They Told Trump Brown People Were Laughing At Him

Republican All Set To Beat Ilhan Omar, AOC, Colin Kaepernick In Alabama Senate Race

Amazon Donates Three Cents, Australian Fires All Better Now

Kevin McCarthy Very Concerned That Nancy Pelosi Is Sabotaging Bernie's Socialist Revolution

Joe Biden's Iraq War Vote Was Not Nothing

Uh Oh, Matt Gaetz In Big Trouble With Daddy!

Trump Gets Religion! (It Is Evidence-Free Belief In 'Imminent Attacks')

Rudy Giuliani And Judge Jeanine Agree: Lithuanian Law Does Not Allow Pelosi To Impeach The President

The One Meat You Should Never Feed Your Dog (It Is Human Meat). Tabs, Mon., Jan. 13, 2020

Recipe Hub: Some Pepper Biscuits For The Old Italian Person In Us All

President Corleone Rebrands US Military 'Mercenaries-R-Us'

Bernie Sanders And Mike Lee Are Teaming Up To Oppose War With Iran... And We'll Take It

You Were Working As A Waitress In A Nice Things Bar

You Can't Even Bribe White House Press Sec. Stephanie Grisham To Do Her Job Now

The Republicans Are Going Full Freedom Fries Again

Bret Stephens Jumps On Horseback, Warns Villagers That The Socialists Are Coming

Burger King Used 'The D-Word' And The One Million Moms Are TELLING!

Trump Claims Four Embassies Were Going To Bombed By Iran, Didn't Bother To Tell Them That

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Probably Clickbait

Marianne Williamson Levitates Out Of Presidential Race

Hoo-Boy, It's Time To Check In On The Harvey Weinstein Trial

Trump Silent About The Puerto Rico Earthquakes, So They've Got That Going For Them

Nancy Pelosi Will See Mitch McConnell Next Tuesday. Perhaps.

Everything That Happened Since Yesterday In Our Iran Iraq Clusterfuq ... Wait, BREAKING!

What Shall We Call VDare Founder Peter Brimelow, If Not A White Nationalist?

LAPD Officers Falsely ID'ed Kids As Gangsters? That Can't Be Right

Army Not Giving Pardoned Admitted War Crimer Back His Boy Scout Badge -- No, The OTHER Pardoned War Crimer

Trump Hitler Rally Mostly About Adam Schiff's Nine Inches Or Something, We Dunno

DOJ Has Clinton Foundation Witch Hunt, Finds No Witches, Keeps Hunt Open Forever *Just In Case*

Trump Undoing 50-Year-Old Environmental Review Law Because It's Too Old For Him Probably

Georgia Just Giving Puerto Ricans Very Cool, Very Legal Jim Crow 'Literacy' Tests

Well This Is Certainly One Reason To Not Marry A Nazi

Mormon Wife Sues LDS Church For Reporting Her Rapist Husband To The Cops

Tulsi Gabbard Still Fighting 'Warmonger' Hillary Clinton For 2016 Dem Nomination

Ever Had A Staring Contest With A Constipated Turtle? Now You Know How Nancy Pelosi Feels.

3 Ways Your Cat Asks For Help, Or Else Not That. Tabs, Fri., Jan. 10, 2020

Elizabeth Warren Will Dance On Your Dumb Face Because She Has A Plan For That

Kansas Expanding Medicaid. Yes, That Kansas!

Trump Supporter Compares Him To O.J. Simpson, Which Seems Fair

Secretary Mnuchin Will Hand Over Trump's Secret Service Expense Log Real Soon. Like In 2025, 'Kay?

But If Gavin Newsom Helps Fix California's Homelessness, What Will Trump Gloat About?

BREAKING SURPRISE: Iran Probably Shot Down That Ukrainian Plane

Virginia Democrats Get Petty, And It Is A Glorious Sight

Pornstached Missouri Republican Wants To Call The Cops On Abortions

Republicans, Fix Your Own Damn Party And Stop Demanding Sh*t From Ours

GOP Senators Actually Pissed At Trump Over Iran Briefing, Will Go Back To Being Cowards Tomorrow

If 2019 Was Second-Hottest Year In History, Why Did It Snow Last Night?

Congressman From 'Hee Haw' Wishes Democrats Hated Terrorists As Much As Trump Loves Gold Star Families

Prince Harry, Meghan Markle 'Retiring' To Spend Less Time With Their Royal Family

LIVER BELLY GOT YOU FAT? Actually, Yes. Tabs, Thurs., Jan. 9, 2020

Y'all Other Judges Just Jealous You Don't Have A Pastor Boner Gee-tar Strummer Work Boyfriend Like This Lady Does

How's America's Well-Regulated Militia Protecting Freedom So Far In 2020?

One Out Of Four Americans Agree: 'I Can Find Iran On Maps!'

Nice Time: Women Not In Blackface Run Virginia Now

Yeah, Pennsylvania's Great. But Have You Tried ARIZONA?

Nikki Haley Lies That Democrats So Bummed Soleimani Isn't Killing Us All Right Now

Trump Administration Tells People On Disability To Sit And Spin

Liveblogging Trump Taking Responsibility For Latest F*ckup Hahahahahahaha Just Kidding

Susan Collins So Mad Chuck Schumer Made Her Rig Impeachment Trial For Trump

Relax, Everyone, The Stable Genius Is In Charge

Elizabeth Warren Goes On 'The View' To Ignore Meghan McCain To Her Face

Wingnuts Fight Australian Bush Fires With Gaslighting

Claim YOUR Government Stimulus Package ... Nope. Tabs, Wed., Jan. 8, 2020

Congratulations, Chris Cillizza And Mitch McConnell! You've Both Won A One-Way Trip To Go-F*ck-Yourself-Ville!

Michael Flynn Bargains Self Up From 'Zero Jail' To Possible Six-Month Sentence

Who You Gonna Believe, CBP Or Americans From The Iran-ish Part Of The World?

US Now Deporting Mexican Asylum Seekers To Guatemala Because F*ck Them Is Why

Nikki Haley Being Craven Liar Again, Bless Her Heart

Biggest Piece Of Sh*t On Earth Harvey Weinstein Charged With Two More Sexual Assaults In Los Angeles

Dinesh D'Souza Branches Out, Gets Iran History Wrong Too

Trump Tremendously Impressed With How Many Not-Crimes Trump Guilty Of!

Defense Department Announces NO PLAN For Iraq. It Can't Fail!

Judge Judy Rules Joe Biden Not Fit To Lick Mike Bloomberg's Shoe

Try Not To Stare When You See ... Oh F*ck Off. Tabs, Tues., Jan. 7, 2020

I Don't Care What Anyone Says, Do Not Let Gwyneth Paltrow In Your Vagina

Fox News Judge Just Saying IMPEACH THE MOTHERF*CKER AGAIN!

Mitch McConnell Pencilling In John Bolton's Testimony For ... Never, Does Never Work For You?

Utah Flies Public Employees To Mexico To Fill Prescriptions And Isn't That Normal AF?

Michelle Williams Had An Abortion, Thank You For Coming To Her Golden Globes Ted Talk

Impeachment And The Sixth Amendment For Dummies. AGAIN.

Julian Castro Has A Plan For Endorsing Elizabeth Warren

Doomsday Cult Mother With Missing Kids Claimed She Was A God

Lindsey Graham Makes Nancy Pelosi An Offer She Definitely Totally Absolutely Can Refuse

Susan Collins Still Very Cool, Very 'Impartial' Over Her Inevitable Folding On Trump's Impeachment

Iraq Votes To Send USA Home Until It Can Play Well With Others

The Top Three REAL Reasons Trump Bombed That Iranian General, Plus One We Made Up (ALLEGEDLY)

Lock The Doors! Call The FBI! George Lopez Threatens Donald Trump's Life With Instagram Joke

What Would It Take To Get You Into A New War Today?

Palm Reader Cons Woman Out Of $71K And Some Bed Sheets By Promising To Exorcise Her Daughter

Mike Pompeo's War Pitch Tour

New Year New ... Nah. Tabs, Mon., Jan. 6, 2020

Find A Comfy Seat And Have Some Nice Things!

Colin Kaepernick Commits War Crime Of Stating Opinion On Twitter

Mike Pence Lies About Soleimani, 9/11 in Plain Sight Of Mother, Bible, Half-Eaten Apple Pie

Gross Weinstein Attorney Says Victim Will Be 'Excellent Witness' Because She's An Actress

President War Crimer Spends Weekend Cyberbullying Iran On Twitter

A Very Familiar Report: The Trump Administration Had Only 'Razor Thin' Evidence To Justify Soleimani Strike

Terry Gilliam Rudely Insists Upon Ruining Terry Gilliam For All Of Us, Probably Forever

Meat Loaf Calls Greta Thunberg 'Brainwashed' In Obvious Attempt To Get Us To Read Interview About His Sex Life

Here Are Just Some Of The Unbelievably Stupid Things People Believed Last Year

Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Is Making Women Great Again!

Put On Your Pretend Shocked Face: Donald Trump (Allegedly) Creeped On A Fox News Lady

Nancy Pelosi Not Letting Mitch McConnell Get Away With That Sh*t

Rights For People With Disabilities? Elizabeth Warren Is Here To Help

United Methodist Church Divorces Itself Over Same-Sex Marriage

Other Than That, Rod Blagojevich, How Did You Like Trump's Impeachment?

Sorry, Trump Probably Isn't Smart Enough To 'Wag The Dog' But He Sure Could Try!

GOP Lawmakers' New Year's Resolution: Ban Abortion Today, Ban Abortion Tomorrow, Ban Abortion Forever

Wingnuts Wish Donald Trump A Happy New War

WTF? Are We About To Go To War With Iran?

Just Stop It, Impeachment Is Not Good News For Donald Trump

White Wisconsin Rep. Tries To Gentrify Black History Month

Amazon Fights Climate Change, Also Fights Employees Fighting Climate Change

Two MIT Grads Created This Quiz! Just Kidding We're Going To War. Tabs For Fri., Jan. 3, 2020

Corey Lewandowski Declines To Run For Senate In New Hampshire, Declares Flawless Victory

Look At This F*cking Hitler

These Magic Redaction Bars Make Trump Ukraine Crimes DISAPPEAR

Nice Time: Elijah Cummings Left A Gift For Maryland Youth

Trump Supporters Waste $46 Million On Genuine, Pre-Owned Impeached President

Dennis Prager Will Not Be Bullied By Anne Frank

Julian Castro Could've Been The President We Didn't Deserve

Joe Biden Didn't Say That

Rudy Just Needs Three More Bloody Marys, Then He'll Prosecute Biden For The RICO

Australia On F*ckfire

Edward Gallagher Launches 'Lifestyle Brand' To Keep Other Psychotics Looking Stylish

Things Millennials Refuse To Pay For! Just Kidding. Tabs, Jan. 2, 2020

Your Wonkette 2019 Legislative Badass Is Nancy Pelosi AKA The Boss Of You

Wonkette's 2019 Legislative Shitheel Is Moscow Mitch, Who Else Would It Be?

2019 In Sex, Only Without The Depressing Stuff

2019: The Year Of Spineless Republicans

2019: The Year Of The Other Tim Ryans

2019: The Year in Lawsplaining