Sitemap - 2016 - Wonkette
2016: The Year We Sexxxed Up Canada's Justin Trudeau, Sexxxily
Thank You Dearheart Wonkette Lovers!
10 Twilight Zone Dystopias That Don't Seem All That Bad Now
2016 Was One Heck Of A Year For The Journamalisms!
12 Beloved Icons We're Very Grateful Were Not Taken Down By 2016
2016: The Year The Palins And The Duggars Bored The Everloving Sh*t Out Of Us
Let's Pretend 2017 Won't Be Even Worse! Your Year-End 2016 Corporate Grab Bag
The Top Ten Posts Of 2016 Will Keep You From Crying Your Pants Off On New Year's Eve!
Lookie! The White House's Sexxxiest Pictures Of 2016! (There Will Be No Sexxxy Pictures In 2017)
Intelligence Experts Agree: Russia 5 To 10 Years Behind In Meme Technology
Nice Mormon Lady Ditches Tabernacle Choir, Will Not 'Throw Roses At Hitler'
Fox & Friends Corrects Lying Story About Food Stamp Fraud! Apocalypse Is Truly Here!
Conservatives Can't BELIEVE California Legalized Child Prostitution, Probably Because IT DIDN'T
'Christian Nation' All Fun & Games Till Erick Erickson Decides You're A Heretic
Unceremoniously Knocked Up Bristol Palin Pissed About Thing
Sad Man Asks Why Won't Democrats Just Hate Gays And Bortions More? We Answer! (BOY DO WE ANSWER)
Buffalo School Board Tells Old Racist Carl Paladino To Resign Or Face Strongly Worded Reprimand
Obama Boots Trump's 400lb. Russian Hackers. Wonkagenda For Fri., Dec. 30, 2016
National Review Mansplains 'Feminism' All Over Poor Princess Leia :(
Barack Obama Throws Russian Diplomats Out His Damn House!
Wonkette Writer Just Doodling 'Mrs. WaPo's David Fahrenthold' All Over His Trapper Keeper
Creepy Milo Dude Gets To Write Whole Book About How Much He Loves Black Dicks
Trump Idiot Knows The Very Rich Are Different From You And Me. They Are LOL MORE HONEST
Obama Designates Two New National Monuments. Normal, Non-Jerk People Think This Is Great!
Poor Kellyanne Conway Can't Find A Swanky DC Private School For Her Grubby Kids :(
China Finally Gives Donald Trump The Huge Cock He's Always Wanted
Fake News OG James O'Keefe Vows To Infiltrate 'Fake News' Outlets CBS, NBC, Thrifty Nickel
Exxon, You Dirty, Dirty Whore. Wonkagenda For Thursday, December 29, 2016
'House Hunters' And 'Fixer Upper' Are The Opiates Of The Masses. AND THAT'S FINE BY US
Jared Kushner Is Hot OK FINE WE SAID IT HE'S TOTALLY EVIL BUT SHUT UP
This Cheesy Garlic Chicken Will Help You Feel Better About 2016. Or At Least Full
Team Trump Thinks Grandma Millie Has Too Much Money. Luckily, They're Here To Help!
Confederacy-Humpin' Lawmaker Beated His Wife, With 'Morals'
Hide Your Crab Legs! Hide Your Lobster! Fox Is Warring On Food Stamps Again!
Donald Trump Practicing Self-Care In Face Of Mean Barack Obama Triggering Him
Barack Obama And Japanese Prime Minister Speak At Pearl Harbor, And Just Wow
Horse Porn-Loving Trump Racist Sorry You Got Offended By His Racism Again
Trump's Love For Himself May Cause Chafing. Wonkagenda For Wed., Dec. 28, 2016
Jesus Really Gets Around On Christmas. (YOUR OPEN THREAD!)
'Alt-Right' Dillweeds Turning On Each Other Like A Bunch Of Heathers
Carrie Fisher Dies At 60, Takes Part Of Your Youth With Her
Butthurt Americans Made Many Butthurt Election Complaints To FCC This Year!
House GOP Solves Gun Violence, By Fining Democrats Who Had Sit-In About Gun Violence
Finally, A Way To Send Donald Trump A Bunch Of Pussy!
Indiana Making Its Poors Healthier, Just By Adding Shame And Bureaucracy!
Wingnut Mourns George Michael By Wishing He Was Straight Like Other Dude In Wham!
Scott Walker Ends Climate Change, By Censoring It From State Website. Thanks Scott Walker!
Obama Says He Would Have Won 2016 Election, And Donald Trump Is DYING OMG LOL
Obama Hates 22nd Amendment. Wonkagenda For Tuesday, December 27, 2016
George Michael's Sexiest Organ Was HIS BRAIN (We Are Guessing, We Never Saw His Dick)
Trump Nazi Schmendricks All Verklempt That Hanukkah Even Has The Chutzpah To Exist
The Eight Best Times This Badass 'Teen Vogue' Chick Kicked Tucker Carlson In The Nads!
So Did You Hear How A Fake News Story Almost Started A Nuclear War Last Week?
Lonely Racists Spent Christmas Eve Yelling At State Farm About 'White Genocide'
Obama Promises Not To Leave Us All Alone With The Scary Clown-Man In The White House
Uh Oh, Looks Like Tom Arnold Is Ready To Screw Donald Trump Sideways!
Yay, Town In Pennsylvania Trump Country ISN'T Total Dick To Syrian Refugees!
Guess Which Trumpers Were Boning, And Now One's Bein' Crazy And One's Out Of A Job?
Eric Trump's 'Charity' Helped Ugly Children Get New Noses
Republican Party Celebrates Sacred Baby Jesus Day With Newer, Better, More Golden King
RNC Hails Its New King! Wonkagenda For Monday, December 26, 2016
A CHRISTmas Tradition! Deleted Holiday Comment: Get Your Jews Out Of My Sacred Baby Festival!
Deleted Comments: 'Merry Christmas,' You Pathetic Losers!
Did Trump And Wells Fargo Draw Each Other For Secret Santa???
Your Weekly Top Ten Says Happy War On Christmas Eve!
This Holiday Rum Punch Is Full Of Vitamin C And DELICIOUS Alcohol
Democracy Experts: Sorry, North Carolina, You're Now A Third-World Failed State
Happy Christmas, This Trump Idiot Wants Michelle Obama To Get Gorilla-Raped Ha Ha Ha Ha
Trump Demands Dancing Girls Be Washed, Brought To Him
Dammit, Loretta Lynch! Dammit, James Comey!
Go Solar For Christmas, Even If You Live In A Cave! It's A FESTIVUS MIRACLE!
Ohio Anti-Choicers So Mad John Kasich Won't Just Outlaw All The Abortions Already
Fine, The Trumps Will Take Their 'Charity' And Go Home!
Kellyanne Conway Explains Trump's Nuclear Expansion Plan: Drown Our Enemies In Word Salad
Fun 1959 Magazine Article Explains What To Do 'When A Negro Moves Next Door'
Walking in a Nuclear Winter Wonderland! Wonkagenda for Friday, December 23, 2016
Some Guy Yelled At Ivanka Trump On A Plane And Everyone Is All OH MY STARS!
Breitbart And Fox News Chase Christmas-Stealing Jews Out Of Pennsylvania Town
Bryan Fischer Wants To Watch You Pee
Nice Time! Congress Votes Unanimously To Protect Nonbelievers' Rights. What Are They Up To????
Kentucky Announces Plan To Bible The Everloving Sh*t Out Of 2017
Guess Why 'One Million Moms' (Like Four Moms) Is Mad At Highlights Magazine?
Donald Trump Just As Dumb And Shallow As You Thought He Was
North Carolina Republicans Lied About Repealing Transgender Potty Law, WHAT A SHOCK!
Oh God, Kellyanne Conway Is Never Going Away, Will Lie To And For Trump Forever
Bill O'Reilly Knows Why We Have An Electoral College: To Keep Whites In Power, Ta-Da!
North Carolina Says, 'No Butt Stuff!' Wonkagenda For Thursday, December 22, 2016
Here Is A Funny Joke For You! Your Wednesday Night Open Thread!
Possible Trump Spox/Daily Mail 'Reporter' Celebrates Trump's Landslide Popular Vote Win!
Dumb Kentucky 'Noah's Ark' Lit Up In Rainbows For Christmas, To Stick It To The Queers
Nice Time! Trump Beaten By Union Maids In Vegas Hotel Labor Fight
Racist Mall Lady Will Never Get To Go To The Mall EVER AGAIN!
Rape Apologist Mike Cernovich Is Trying To Pizzagate A Comedian For Making Fun Of Him On Twitter
Donald Trump's Idiot Pal Newt Gingrich Really Needs To STFU
Joe Manchin Calls For War On Drugs, Might Need To Talk To His Fentanyl-Pushing Daughter
Uday and Qusay Trump Definitely Not Selling Access In Big Hunting-Themed Fundraiser, Nope
Racist White Lady Spreads Racist Christmas Cheer To Hispanic Ladies, Racistly
Surprise! FBI Warrant To Sniff Through 'New' Hillary Emails Was Bunch Of Crap
Obama Saves Alaska! Wonkagenda For Wednesday, December 21, 2016
Democracy Is Coming To The U.S.A. (Your Tuesday Night OPEN THREAD!)
Maybe 'Defend The Klan' Wasn't The *Best* 'Persuasive Writing' Assignment For Seventh Graders
These Are The Sad People Alex Jones Is Manipulating To Do Evil
South Carolina Wingnut Declares War On God-Given Freedom To Whack Off
Who Sucks Harder, Kellyanne Conway Or Ted Cruz? HAHA TRICK QUESTION, YOU LOSE!
Some Terrorism And Assassinations Happened Yesterday
Good Thing This Boy Wasn't Racist
Nice Time: Barack Obama Keeps Letting People Out Of Prison Instead Of Locking Them Up!
GOP Congressdick Will Fix Healthcare, By Letting Your Kid Sleep On His Broken Bones (No, Really)
Sarah Palin Spits Hot Verse At New York Times, Misses, Also Is Broke, Broke, Broke.
Electoral College Officially As Dumb As Typical Trump Supporter
It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Terror! Wonkagenda For December 20, 2016
HEY YOU GUUUUUUUUYS! Monday Night Open Thread!
Nice Time: Tucson Can't Get Enough Of Syrian Refugees' Baked Sweets, Because Yum!
Alabama Idiot Sorry For Murdering Tree As Love Offering To Donald Trump
North Carolina Republicans Will Stop Sniffing Around Your Junk Starting Tuesday
Ungrateful Tennessee Man Not Satisfied With $75 For 31 Years In Prison On False Conviction
Tom Arnold Needs To Release Donald Trump's Whitey Tape RIGHT THE HELL NOW
Maine Elector Ready To Throw Electoral College To Bernie Sanders, Hooray!
Alex Jones Pulls Video Urging Fans To Investigate 'Pizzagate' After Fan 'Investigated' It With A Gun
How Will CIA Get Idiot President Trump To Sit Still For Presidential Daily Briefings?
Trump's Very Own Stasi! Wonkagenda For Monday, December 19, 2016
Deleted Comments: HITLERY IS GONE BITCH DING DONG THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!
Heat Up From The Inside With This Sweet, Savory Acorn Squash Soup!
Pizzagate Shooter Pleads 'Not Guilty,' Surely His Excuse Will Be Fascinating
Your Weekly Top Ten Can't Believe How Much Cindy Brady Sucks These Days
Hot Damn Those Beautiful Obama Women! Your Friday Night Open Thread
Obama Refuses To Publicly Kick Russian And FBI Ass In End-Of-Year Press Conference
College Prof Who Told Class She Fears Trump Goes Into Hiding After Death Threats. What Silly Fears!
Rick Santorum Is Worried Exxon-Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson Might Love The Environment Too Much
Guys, I Am Seriously Considering Running For Montana's Congressional Seat
Alex Jones Says Facebook's War On Fake News Is CIA Plot! Will Sue!
America Hates Obamacare So Much The Signup Deadline's Been Extended To Handle The Crowds
North Carolina GOP Likes To Have Some Privacy When It's Taking A Sh*t (On Democracy)
Oh Yay It Is Time For War With China! (Thanks Trump!)
White-Power Charleston Church Murderer Convicted, Wonder Where He Got 'Self-Radicalized'?
Oh Hey It's Your Last Day To Buy Yay Cool Liberal Shwag For Christmas!
Go Home, Uber, Your Self-Driving Cars Are Drunk
'Alt-Right' Dingus Triggered By Mean Nightclub That Won't Host His Little Trump Party
Money Makes the World Go Around! Wonkagenda for Friday, December 16, 2016
Hey, How About Trump Appoints Sylvester Stallone To Run National Endowment For The Arts? Classy!
Obama Saves Planned Parenthood From Trump's Grabby Hands! (At Least For A Minute!)
California Gov. Jerry Brown Is Having None Of Trump's Climate Crap
North Carolina Lege Knows New Democrat Governor Isn't Really Governor Anyway
Kellyanne Conway Accidentally Admits Trump Women Are Cinderella's Evil Stepsisters
Where Will Ivanka Trump Sleep In The White House? OH NO, POLITICO, DON'T FIRE US FOR ASKING!
Today's Your Obamacare Sign-up Deadline, Get It While You Can!
Is Sexxxy Justin Trudeau Corrupt Like A Common Hillary Clinton?
Team Trump's Witch Hunt For Climate Scientists Was 'Unauthorized,' Disregard This Smoldering Pyre!
Texas Schools Find Terrific Way To Save Money On Special Ed: Deny It To Mexi-Kids
John Bolton Wants To Pick A Fight! Wonkagenda for Thursday, December, 15, 2016
SHUT UP AND TALK. Your Overnight Thread
Rude Old Donald Trump Didn't Invite Twitter To His Sexxxy Technology Party
Is Donald Trump Already In Trouble Over Trashy DC Hotel? The Government Just Can't Decide!
Are You Reading Political Wire? No? What's Wrong With You? Are You A Loser? (A Sponsored Post)
Is The New York Times Actually ... SORRY ... For Being Bad At Journalism?
Ohio Gov. John Kasich Signs Terrible Abortion Bill, Vetoes More Draconian Version, Hooray?
Donald Trump Intimidating Electoral College, OMG WE ARE FOR SHOCKED!
Meet Donald Trump's Grifty Pick For Interior Dept., Montana Rep. 'Commander' Zinke!
Guess Benghazi Committee Doesn't Care About Four Dead Americans Anymore :(
Syrians Are Just Dying To Tell You Something! Wonkagenda for Wednesday, December 14, 2016
What Is This Thing Called Wonket? Is It Mean, Funny, Fake, Or Just 'Different'? A Guide For Brad
Energy Department Ruins Trump's Witch Hunt, Hides Climate Scientists In Attic
Donald Trump Very Busy Man, Does Not Have Time For Silly Press Conferences!
Carrier Can't Wait To Replace All Those Jobs Trump 'Saved' With Good Old American Robots
Foreigns Already Blackmailing Donald Trump For Favors. WEIRD!
Trump Will Save America From The Scourge Of Male Nurses, Says Moron
Kellyanne Conway Wishes CIA Would Stop Whining About Russian Hacking
Vladimir Putin Picks Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson For Secretary Of State, Trump Agrees
Idiots Demand LA Times Offer Bigots' Perspective On Japanese Internment Camps, For 'Balance'
Harry Reid Has A Shy, Quiet Thing Or Two To Say To Donald Trump's Russian Handlers
OIL! It's Got What Plants Crave! Wonkagenda For Tuesday, December 13, 2016
Donald Trump Not The Messiah, He's A Very Naughty Boy
Peggy Noonan Is Talking To Invisible Gin People Again
Electoral College Members Just Curious How Far Up Trump's Ass Russia Really Is
Carly Fiorina Might Make A Great Director Of National Intelligence To Keep Us Safe From Demon Sheep
How Obama Coulda Helped Black People Better, As Told By Trump Supporters
John Bolton's Mustache Bristling At Barack Obama For Hacking The DNC And Blaming It On Russia
Mitch McConnell Back-Pedaling On Russia Hack, But Slowly Because Of How He Has Turtle Legs
What's Up With How 'Teen Vogue' Is So Badass Lately?
Donald Trump's Gigantic Brain Doesn't Need Intelligence
Donald Trump Wants To Know Why This Silly 'Russian Hacking' Wasn't Brought Up Before Election
The RNC Has Nothing But Love For Russia. Your Wonkagenda For December 12, 2016
Wells Fargo Apologizing For All The Fraud By Killing Customer Lawsuits
Deleted Comments: Feminism Is Unnecessary, You Stupid Vaginas
The Best Chili You Will Ever Taste.
Team Trump Conclusively Addresses Russian Hacking Shocker: We Rule, CIA Drools
Why Is Everybody Being So Red-Baity And McCarthyite And Mean To Poor Innocent Russia? A Wonksplainer
Your Weekly Top Ten Is All HEY, SARAH PALIN, HEY!
LOL, Kellyanne Conway Thinks Justin Timberlake Will Play At Trump's Inauguration
Let's Watch A Hillary Clinton Speech And Cry Some More, Like We Always Do
Neo-Nazi Nerds Bitching About 'Star Wars' Again, Because Yoda Is A Rabbi Or Something
Harry Reid Would Like To Dick-Punch James Comey One More Time, Please
So Can Ladies Still Protest The Trump Inauguration Or What?
Looks Like A Few Republican Senators Are Ready To Kick Russia's Trump-Loving Ass
Fast Food Nation: Trump's Labor Pick, Carl's Jr. CEO, Will Replace Your Job With Robots, Brawndo
All-Grown-Up Cindy Brady Has Hair Of Gold, Mouth Full Of Gay Slurs
Even 'Pizzagate' Gunman Thinks Alex Jones Is LIL' BIT CRAZY
Donald Trump Still Producing 'Celebrity Apprentice', Because That's What Presidents Do
Astronaut, Senator, All Around Badass John Glenn Dies, Making 2016 Just A Bit Suckier
Donald Trump To Hide Money In Cheeseburgers? Wonkagenda for Friday, December 9, 2016
Infowars's Alex Jones Says Your Wonkette Is 'Fake News.' We Are For Shamed :(
Stephen Colbert Tells Alex Jones, Wikileaks And Reddit Internet Trolls Where To Shove It
Team Of Evils: Trump's EPA Pick Not So Big On 'Protecting' So-Called 'Environment'
Ted Cruz Likes It When Cheese Dip Slimes Down His Nipples
Kellyanne Conway Knows Where A Woman's Place Is, And It Is Not The White House
Wow, California Senator Dianne Feinstein Was Just A HUGE DICK To Retiring Bestie Barbara Boxer!
Union Boss Ain't Give A Sh*t About Donald Trump's Flying Monkeys And Death Threats
MERRY EFFING CHRISTMAS, COREY LEWANDOWSKI!
Hey, What If The CEO Of Exxon Becomes Secretary of State? What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Pastor's 'Christ-Like' Handjobs GUARANTEED To Make Your Dick Bigger, For A While
Trump Already An Old Man Yelling At His TV! Wonkagenda for Thursday, December 8, 2016
Kid Rock Just Too Hilarious For Us Liberals To Understand!
Donald Trump, Show Us The Long-Form Stock Sale Certificate!
This Nice Wackjob Christianist Lady Mighta Just Outlawed Every Abortion In Ohio
Chuck Schumer Announces Plan To Grow Spine On Obamacare, Let GOP Hang Itself
Bob Dole Stands Erect For Taiwan; Firmness Achieved By All This Money On The Nightstand
Who Should Be In America, This Badass Young #DREAMer Immigrant Woman, Or Rick Santorum?
Story Of Mob-Run Fake 'U.S. Embassy' In Ghana Would Make A Pretty Good Movie, We Bet
Let's All Watch Jake Tapper Ride Mike Pence's Ass Like A Jewish Grandma Force-Feeding You Kugel
Weather Channel Tells Dead Breitbart To Shut Its Dumbass Mouth
Bob Dole Wants To Make Taiwan Great Again! Wonkagenda for December 7, 2016
Trump's. Nuts. Roasting. On. An Open. Fire. A Christmas Music Post!
It's Time To Save 'Libraries' From The Koch Brothers, All You Four-Eyes Pointy-Headed Smarties!
Trump Tower: A Luxurious Address With Secret Service Protection And A Target On Its Back!
Loser N.C. Gov Pat McCrory Might Get To Sniff Your Junk In Trump Administration
Kellyanne Conway Will Run Twitter Lynch Mob, For Donald Trump, America, And So Much $$$!
Joe Biden Says He's Running In 2020, And LOL OK STOP TEASING!
New York Would Like Some Money For Donald Trump's Security, Please. First Bill: $35 Million, Cheap!
Kellyanne Conway Really Needs A Job! Wonkagenda for Tuesday December 6, 2016
Hey Democrats, Here's How To Grow A Pair And Save The Supreme Court
Jury Simply Can't Agree Whether Cop Shooting Unarmed Black Man In Back, On Video, Is Really Murder
Seven Times The Media Lied About Trump's New HUD Pick, Ben Carson, By Quoting Him
Donald Trump And Al Gore Will Heroically Save World From Global Warming Sky Fires! Hooray!
Ann Coulter And Sarah Palin Feeling BETRAYED! By Sexxxy Boyfriend Donald Trump
Dana Rohrabacher (R-The Taliban) For Secretary Of State? LOL They Are Just F*cking With Us Now
Citizen Shoots Up DC Pizza Place To Investigate Hillary Clinton's Child Sex Ring, As One Does.
How Bad Is Donald Trump Pissing In China's Corn Flakes Over Taiwan? THIS MANY BAD.
Army Corps Of Engineers Tells Dakota Access Pipeline Developers To Go Lay Pipe Somewhere Else
Army Rides To Indians' Rescue, Shuts Down DAPL. Wonkagenda for Monday, December 5, 2016
Deleted Comments: So This Is Where The Truly Depraved Hang Out
We Made You This HELL. NO. Blue Baseball Cap, Because Donald Trump Can F*ck Himself Is Why
TJ Maxx, Marshall's Decide Not To Bone Employees For Christmas. Michigan, On Other Hand ...
Your Eyeballs Are Too Dry. Let Us Help You With That
House Science Committee Celebrates Death Of Facts By Retweeting Fake Breitbart Climate Article
Your Weekly Top Ten Has Had It Up To Here With Kellyanne Conway
Sarah Palin Just Yelled 'Hoohah!' And Now Our Week Is Complete
World's Hottest California Attorney Generals Face Off In Wonkette Sexxxiness Contest
Trump Idiot Scottie Nell Hughes Says Facts Don't Exist, Also She's The Lindbergh Baby
America Heals Wounds By Agreeing That CNN's Jeff Zucker Totally Sucks
Forget It: There's No Language Donald Trump's Nuremberg Speech Would've Sounded Better In
Donald Trump's Mandate Just Got Bigger, Longer, Even More Uncut
Rightwing Nutjob Begs: 'Mr. Trump, Tear Down This Stonewall Inn!'
Trump Could Do Worse Than Secretary Of Defense James Mattis. In Fact, It's Shocking He Didn't
YOU HAVE HURT KELLYANNE CONWAY'S FEELINGS!
Ivanka Trump Wants To Fight Climate Change, May Be Chinese Spy
Ask Wonkette: Can Melon Trump Indeed Sue For Rose Words About Her Son?
Senate Democrats Tell Obama To SPILL IT DUDE On Russian Interference In Election
CNN Lady Alisyn Camerota Cannot Even Handle How Dumb Trump Supporters Are
Guy Who 'Voted For Hillary' Has Totally Fascinating Reasons For Writing For Breitbart Now
Sore Winner Darrell Issa Sues Democratic Opponent For Libel Like Big Whiny Jerk Baby He Is
Fun With Steven Mnuchin! Trump's Treasury Pick Foreclosed On Old Lady Over Twenty-Seven Cents
The Twitter Donald Trump Sees Is The Best Twitter, So Luxurious, Just Tremendous
Federal Court Won't Let North Carolina's Racially Gerrymandered Districts Stand, Man
Trump's Victory Thank You Tour Marching Into Cincinnati, Will Annex Sudetenland
Exactly How Many Jobs Can Sarah Palin Quit? Wonkagenda, Thursday, December 1, 2016
Sarah Palin Would Love A Trump Cabinet Position To Quit Halfway Through
Lady Who Tried To Bomb Abortion Clinic Can't Believe Anyone Would Call Her A Terrorist
Badass Nancy Pelosi Officially Re-Elected Boss Of You
Trump And Romney Eat Chocolate Cake, Arrange Smooth Transfer Of Mitt's Manhood
Kellyanne Conway Is Not A Good Person
White Supremacist Site Offers Hot Tips For Turning Your Girlfriend Into The Bigot Of Your Dreams
Donald Trump Bribes Carrier Into Still Moving Some Jobs To Mexico
Donald Trump Will Totally Abandon His Business Empire, Ayup You Betcha, Sounds Legit To Us!
Team Of Evils: Meet The Latest Vulture Capitalists In Donald Trump's Cabinet!
Seems Like Mitch McConnell And John McCain Ready For Donald Trump To STFU
Trump Whines And Dines With Mittens! Wonkagenda for Wednesday, November 30, 2016
CNN's Chris Cuomo All 'Morning Joe? More Like Donald Trump's Morning Hos!'
Looks Like We're Gonna Have Darrell Issa To Kick Around Some More
Here Is Where To Throw All Your Cash Money For #GivingTuesday (OW! OW! STOP IT! DON'T STOP!)
Pope Francis Meets With Scientists, Urges Certain Unnamed Nation (HE MEANS US) Not To Kill Planet
Donald Trump Tweets Something So Awful And Grotesque, You Absolutely MUST CLICK THIS NOW
Well Of Course Donald Trump Stands To Make Money From Dakota Pipeline. Stop Acting Surprised!
LOL Kellyanne Conway, Numbers Is Hard!
Racist Lady Just Can't Go Anywhere These Days Without Getting Discriminated Against
DYING To Know About TrumpCare? Wonkagenda For Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Trump Meeting With Petraeus For State, Because What F*cking Classified Emails?
Breitbart Commenter Watch: Is This 'Ms. Veteran America' Pageant Terrible Or Merely The Worst?
Steve Bannon Doesn't Just Have A Black Friend, HE HAS TWO OF THEM!
Donald Trump Skips Security Briefings, Gets Intel From InfoWars, Broadcasts In Teeth
Official Wonkette Election Post Mortem Puts Blame Where It Belongs: On Anthony Weiner's Dick
Kellyanne Conway Losing Sh*t Over Sexist 'Morning Joe' Saying Daddy Trump Is Mad At Her
Team Of Evils: Education Nominee Betsy DeVos Hates Public Schools, Satan. Did We Get Lucky?
Laugh Joyously Along With These Russian Ice Dancers Performing 'The Holocaust'!
North Carolina Republican Gov. Won't Concede, May Continue Fight Well Into Trump's Third Term
Donald Trump Furious About Recounts In Election He's Still Pretty Sure Was #Rigged
Trump Learns Recounts Work Both Ways. Wonkagenda For Monday, November 28, 2016
Sick Of Stuffing? Here's Your Easy But Awesome Lowcountry Crab Cakes
A Lot Of Americans Making Black Friday Green With Trips To Pot Stores. While Others...
Fat And Happyish, We Made It Through Another One Mostly Alive. Your Weekly Top Ten!
Buy Almost Nothing Today Except For Our Family-Owned Small-Business Jazzy Funtimes Politicks Stuff!
Eat This Leftover Stuffing Strata For Every Meal You Can For The Next Five Days
Here Is Barack Obama's Final Turkey Pardon And Festival Of Dad Jokes
The Last And Greatest Betrayal: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2016
You Want Rolls For Thanksgiving, We've Got What You Knead
Put Thanksgiving In Your Mouth With Grown-Up Baked Mac And Cheese, For Grown-Ups
Making Thanksgiving 'Monkey Bread' With Nancy Reagan
Put Some Food On Your Family With Aunt Wonkette's Real Cranberry Business
Hope You Weren't Too Excited About That Overtime Pay, People Making From $24,000 To $47,000 A Year!
Real Piece Of Sh*t White Guy Doesn't Understand Why He Has To Stay In Jail For Killing Black Boy
Trump Picks Woman For UN Ambassador Who Isn't Actually A Monster In Human Form, So ... Great!
Donald Trump's Cabinet of Sadness. Wonkagenda for Wednesday, November 23, 2016
CBS News Magically Turns Boos Into Cheers For Infallible God King Donald Trump
Conservative Fake News Facebook Douche: If I Didn't Make Things Up, I Wouldn't Be As Rich!
Gracious Man-King Donald Trump Will Not Lock Up Political Rival, For 'Emails'
Trump And Kellyanne Conway: If The President Does It, That Means It's *Not* Illegal!
Trump Goes Nuclear On LIBERAL Media. Wonkagenda For Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Imaginary Civil Rights Groups Are ALL IN For Jeff Sessions As Attorney General
Judge Swearing In New Citizens Not Real Hep To Any Of These New-Fangled 'Amendments'
Democratic Rep. Tulsi Gabbard Just Met With Donald Trump, So That's ... Neat?
The 'Alt-Right' Twitter Purge Explained With Cartoon Deer
The Measles Vaccine Has Saved Twenty Million Children! Your Snake Oil Bulletin Good News Edition!
Some Gentle Advice For The Brave Men And Women Of The GOP
Obama Builds His Own Damn Wall! Wonkagenda For Monday, November 21, 2016
Deleted Comments AND Bonus Sunday Puzzler: Donald Trump Is No Racist! He Gave Millions To Charity!
Trump Already Shaking Down Foreign Diplomats For Access, Via His Stupid Hotel. Winning!
McDonald's Finds New, Easier Way To Shove McDonald's Down Your Wide-Open Gullet
Your Weekly Top Ten Is Over It, Here Are Some Baby Pictures
New York Times Lady Simply Aghast VP-Elect Mike Pence Got Booed At 'Hamilton'
Elizabeth Warren Still Fully Prepared To Kick Donald Trump's Ass
Donald Trump Wins Trump University Lawsuits, Has To Pay Out $25 Million For Some Reason
Trump Supporters Stick It To Starbucks By Buying Starbucks Coffee, ANGRILY
Team of Evils: Mitt Romney Saves The Universe?
LADIES! Are You Ready To Dress To Impress Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn?
Breitbart Watch: Hero Wingnut Forces Jewish Guy To Love Steve Bannon Forever, Except Not
Excellent Actor/Total Nutbar James Woods Taking His Tweets And Going Home
Rachel Maddow Correctly Labels Wonkette 'Best Website In The World'
Team Of Evils: Trump CIA Pick Mike Pompeo Also Complete Dick
Miami Starbucks Trump Man Very Sorry ... That The Black Barista Reverse-Racismed Him
Fox News Had To Remind Trump Camp Not To Get Megyn Kelly Murdered. For Real.
Team Of Evils: It's Gonna Be A 'Dead Baby In the Jail Cell' Kind Of Day
Giuliani Is A Money-Loving Hypocrite! Yr Wonkagenda: Friday, November 18, 2016
Vogue Wants You To Show Your Compassion With $1000 Diamond-Encrusted Safety Pins, Sure Why Not
Will Congress Investigate Russian Meddling In Election If We Call It 'Hillary Clinton'?
Let's Put Medicare-Frauding Florida Gov. Rick Scott In Charge Of Medicare, Oh Yeah Baby
Breitbart Watch: Stop Blood Libeling Steve Bannon By Calling Him Anti-Semitic!
Trump's Likely Pick For National Security Advisor Only A Little Unhinged And Corrupt
Hillary Clinton Is Not Giving Up, And Neither Are You
Trump Idiot Says Muslim Registry Great Idea, Because Look How Well Japanese-American Internment Went
Junior Grifter Vaping Congressdude Duncan Hunter May Be Crooked Enough For A Trump Post!
Minnesota Might Convict Cop For Killing Philando Castile. It Could Happen!
Obama and Merkel: Super Friends! Yr Wonkagenda: Thursday, November 17, 2016
Wonkette Self-Care For Nov. 16: This Terrible Angelina Jolie Movie
Nancy Pelosi Will Lead House Democrats Through Valley Of Shadow Of Death
Who's Made Over 20,000 Donations To Planned Parenthood Since The Election? 'Mike Pence,' That's Who!
Trump Transition Team Talking Muslim Registry, Probably Just Kidding Around
Harry Reid, Democrats Ask Donald Trump To Deport Steve Bannon Back To 1938
Hey You Sad, Sulking Liberals, Get Off Your Asses And DO THIS.
Breitbart Watch: If You Exclude Every Vote For Clinton, Trump Won With 100% Of The Popular Vote!
Save Us, John McCain, You're Our Only Hope! (Wait, Did We Just Say That?)
'Trump' Name Coming Off New York Apartments So Humans Can Rent Without Paralyzing Shame
Ben Carson Slightly Smarter Than Previously Suspected, Tells Trump Administration 'Nyet'
Trump's Inner Circle Now A Firing Squad. Yr Wonkagenda: Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Los Angeles Police Chief To Trump: Nah Mang, We Ain't Doing Your Dirty Work
Badass Barbara Boxer Sh*ts On Electoral College, Just Because It Keeps Picking The Loser
Mike Pence's Dog Ate His Transition Homework
Republicans Still Getting Fired For Saying Racist Crap About Obamas On Facebook, How Is That Fair?
Time For Rand Paul's Biannual Five Minutes Of Sense
Sean Hannity Buys Art Masterpiece For Donald Trump, Just As Classy As Anything Else Trump Owns
Trump Team Purges GOP National Security Advisor Because Of ... Wait For It ... Benghazi
Gwen Ifill In Heaven, Politely Interrupting All The Angels
Barack Obama Still Being Civil To Crude Boorish White Man Taking His Job
Trump's Kids Want MORE. Yr Wonkagenda: Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Your Wife's A Nasty Woman. And You? You're A Total Cuck
Bernie Would Have Won! Hillary Is A Criminal! Wonkette's A Shill, And DNC Cheated!
California Not Down With Trump's Plan Of 'First I'll Come For The Immigrants'
You Thought Hillary Clinton Won The Popular Vote? Not According To Fake-News Website 'Google'!
Trump Idiot At Chili's Makes America Great Again All Over Black Veteran
Paul Ryan: Oh, By The Way, We're Killing Off Medicare. Enjoy!
Bannon, Priebus Tapped For White Supremacy Funtimes In Trump's White Again House
Trump's Crappy Cabinet. Yr Wonkagenda: Monday, November 14, 2016
Deleted Comments: Trump's Not Racist, And You're Going To The Ovens
Meet Your (Mostly Female, Minority, Democrat) New Kids On The Block: Your Last Senate Sunday!
EMBRACE YOUR INNER OLIGARCH AND EAT RAW MEAT!
Harry Reid Has About Had It With This 'President-Elect Donald Trump' Fellow
Despite Election, George Zimmerman Still Kicked Out Of Bar For Using Racial Slur
Only Fun Nice Posts For Your Post-Election Weekly Top Ten!
Fine Here Is Your Bloody Kurt Vonnegut For Armistice Day And The Death Of America. So It Goes.
Chris Christie Out After Mike Pence Eated All The Trump Transition Planning
White Nationalists Are Ready For Their Safe Space Now, Mr. DeMille
Trump Lawyers Think Trump Should Not Have To Stand Trial For Fraud Now, Because 'Reasons'
Imagine, If You Dare, A World Where Trump Was A Disciplined Campaigner
An Open Letter To Supposedly Pro-Choice, Pro-Same Sex Marriage, Non-Racist Trump Supporters
Disgraced Congress-Hottie Aaron Schock Indicted On Like A Million Counts Of Sexxy Frauding In Office
How Are Americans Expressing Their Economic Anxiety Today?
Oh, No Big, Just Wondering If It Was Trump Or Fox News Who POISONED MEGYN KELLY
Let's All Sign Up For Obamacare And Go Naked!
Trump Supporters Aghast That They Won't Be Able To Act Like Him At Their Jobs
You Know Who We Forgot To Yell At? WHITE WOMEN, WHO CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF
Trump's D.C. Dilemmas: Your Wonkagenda: Friday, November 11, 2016
We're Still Going To Call You A Racist Piece Of Shit If You Are A Racist Piece Of Shit, Hooray!
President Of United States Meets Queens-Born Usurper To Help Arrange Smooth Erasure Of Legacy
Be Right Back, Have To Murder This Bernie-Or-Buster
Julian Assange Knows Who Is To Blame For Trump Victory: 'Not Julian Assange'
You Guys, I Think We Are Going To Have To Pucker Up And Kiss Donald Trump's Fat Bulgy Ass
How To Talk To Your Kids About Trump
Post-Election Self-Care For Thursday, Nov. 10
Let's Play The Blame Game! Your Wonkagenda: Thursday, November 10, 2016
The Sun Came Up, And Here We Are: A Few Reasons To Keep Going
Dear James Comey: A Nice Thing To Do Today Would Be To Go Fuck Yourself
Old Cracker Sheriff Joe Arpaio Loses Re-Election, Still Faces Jail Time (Lock Him Up!)
Dear Media: HI! GO FUCK YOURSELF!
Bye, Obamacare, You Sure Were Nice!
Hillary Clinton Is A Classier Woman Than You
Let's Enjoy A Gracious Smart President Commenting On The Election Of The KKK's Preferred Candidate
Let's Watch Hillary Clinton, Cry Like A Girl
Liveblogging Hillary Clinton Schlonging Donald Trump, WITH VOTES! (Hopefully!)
Now Drink This! Your 'Salt And Pepper' Election Night Cocktail!
Sore Losermen: Trump Babies Will Be Crying And Suing Forever Over Nevada 'Cheating'
Donald Trump's Family: Bad At Voting, Bad At America
Donald Trump Is Suing All The Mexicans
This Election Has Made Everyone Dumber, And May God Have Mercy On Our Souls
This Election Tried To Kill Us, But We Are Not Dead We Don't Think
Imbecile Video Faker James O'Keefe Proves 'Huma Abedin' Is A Name You Could Do Crimes With
Here Is Your ALL-DAY Wonk-tacular Election News Post, Which Will Be Updated ALL DAY!
It's Election Day! Your Wonkagenda: Tuesday, November 8, 2016
Trump-Loving White Dude Calls Black Guy 'N*gger' For Four Solid Minutes. Time To Vote!
Pssst Wanna See What A Lying Crap-Sack Video Hack-Job Looks Like? It Looks Like Fox Business!
Donald Trump Sycophants Plan Cabinet Positions For Coming Government-In-Exile
Early Voters (Of The Mexican Type) May Have Already Saved America From Spray-Tan Hitler!
Silly Al Franken! Only Republicans Are Allowed To Investigate The FBI!
Donald Trump Makes Last Minute Booty Call To Anti-Vaxxers
How Did Wonkette Make It Into Anonymous's 'Proof' That Hillary Clinton's A Child Sex Prevert?
Trump Idiots Can't Read 650,000 Hillary Emails In Eight Days, So FBI Can't Neither!
Janet Reno, 78, Has Gone To The Big Dance Party In The Sky
Donald Trump Grounded From Twitter, And President Obama Thinks That's HILARIOUS
FBI STILL Can't Find Hillary's Evil Emails. Your Wonkagenda, Monday, November 7, 2016.
FBI Director James Comey: HAHA, YOU GUYS! MY BAD!
Deleted Comments: Why Does Wonkette Want To Throw Democracy Down The Toilet?
Your Senate Sunday Is FREE AT LAST!
Creamy Chicken Soup, Alvinball Style
Trader Joe's Fires Guy For Wearing Insufficient Pieces Of Flair
Nice Time Election News: Federal Judges Quite Insistent On Letting People Vote!
Who You Gonna Believe About Obama 'Screaming' At A Protester, Trump Or Your Lying Eyes?
Your Weekly Top Ten Features The Wonkette Kiddos DRESSED UP FOR HALLOWEEN!
Documents Reveal Melania Trump Worked Illegally But Was Never A Mexican
Barack Obama Gonna Show Y'all How A REAL PRESIDENT Deals With Dumbass Trump Supporters
Breitbart's Milo Rallies All The Gays To Trump, By Burning Rainbow Flag
Anthony Weiner No Longer Sick In The Dick, Thanks To Horse-Fondling School
Somebody Replaced Matt Drudge's Heartworm Medication With Speed
Nice Time? San Antonio Fired Cop Who Fed Homeless Guy Poo? Er ... Sure, 'Nice' Time!
Donald Trump, Friend Of The Working Class, Bravely Violates Federal Labor Laws
Chris Christie Aides Eated All The Guilty Verdicts In Bridgegate Trial
Radicalized FBI Sleeper Cell Probably Led By Rudy Giuliani
North Carolina GOP Outraged By Terribly Partisan Bipartisan Forum On Toilet Law
Alt-Right 'Pick-Up Artist' Knows Dank Meme That Will Deliver The Election To Donald Trump
Remember When Hillary Clinton Almost Went To Jail Because She Fired Her Travel Agent?
Mother Russia Maybe Now Undecided Voter Like Ken Bone
Wikileaks Pretty Sure Hillary Clinton Is A Child Sex Trafficker Now, It Is Just Obvious
Ted Cruz Finally Sells Out. Your Wonkagenda: November 4, 2016
Melania Trump Warns Americans About Evil Cyber-Bullies, Like Her Husband
Glenn Beck: Never Mind Saving America -- Defeat Donald Trump To Save Glenn Beck!
Guess Donald Trump Thinks Chicago Cubs Can Eff Right Off
Guess What, Iowa Cop Killer Was 'Troubled Loner.' There's A Lot Of Those!
How Is Donald Trump Poor Today?
David Duke Almost As Good At Debates As Donald Trump!
FBI Now Investigating FBI Twitter Account, Hopes To Quickly Clear Itself Of All Wrongdoing
James Comey Strikes Again (And Again And Again And Again)
Alabama Secretary Of State Respects Martin Luther King Too Much To Make Voting Easier
Alex Jones Thanks God For Hero CIA Hacking Hillary Clinton, Subverting American Democracy! Hooray!
If Loving Apartheid Is Wrong, Jerkoff Billionaire Peter Thiel Wants To Be Wrong
Obama And Pelosi Throwing All The Shade At Dumb James Comey, And It Is LOL
Donald Trump Just Wants MSNBC's Katy Tur To Know SOMETHING IS HAPPENING, KATY!
Texas Ag Commissioner Definitely Didn't Call Hillary Clinton A See You Next Tuesday
Senate GOP Adds 'Female' To Kinds Of Presidents Who Aren't Allowed To Have Supreme Courts
Barack Obama Has A Message About Hillary Clinton For YOU DUMB BOYS
Comey Adviser: He Had To Burn Down The Country For The GOP To Save It From The GOP
Someone Is Intentionally Sabotaging Minnesota's Health Care Exchange Enrollment, Isn't That Neat?
Confederate-Flag-Waving Suspect In Iowa Cop Murders Probably Not A Black Lives Matter Supporter
FBI Basically Your Glue-Sniffing Right-Wing Uncle Now, So That Is Fun!
Texas Republican Has Best Ad Of 2016, Guess We Have To Voter Fraud For Him Now
The Humble Hannity? Your Wonkagenda, November 2, 2016
Dear FBI: ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING????
Richmond Mayoral Race Reminds Us More Than One Gross Alleged Sexual Predator Running This Year
Some Idiot: Liberals Using Witchcraft To Make People Think Racism And Rape Are Wrong
No, For Real, Though, Is Donald Trump A Russian Intelligence Asset?
CNN Cans Donna Brazile Over Leaked Debate Questions, Keeps Corey Lewandowski Because ??????
North Carolina Creatively Screwing Black People Who Are Trying To Vote
White Nationalist Dude Pretty Sure Evan McMullin Is Secret Gay Homosexual Spy
Donald Trump Stiffs Own Pollster For $767,000, You Know How This Headline Ends
The Mantrumpian Candidate. Your Wonkagenda, Tuesday, November 1, 2016
James Comey Wouldn't Want To Hurt Russia's Feelings This Close To An Election! No, For Real
Christians Oppressed Again: School Won't Let Them Do Gay Nightclub Shooting Haunted House
Guy Who Did Watergate Says Hillary Clinton's Yoga Emails Actually Nothing Like Watergate
Chris Christie Eated The Veep Nomination, Then Donald Trump Eated It Back, Ew.
Even George W. Bush's Favorite Torture Boy Thinks Donald Trump Is Like WHOA BAD CRAZY
Trump Campaign Calls 'Jew-S-A' Shouty Guy Deplorable, But That's It, OK?
Hero Military Expert Can't Stop LOLing At How Dumb Donald Trump Is
Harry Reid Will Cut A Bitch (James Comey. James Comey Is The Bitch, Whom He Will Cut)
Here, Have A Drunk Man In Barstow Hollering About Hillary Clinton!
HOT TAKE: Maybe James Comey Is Stupid And Craven And Terrible And The Worst
Donald Trump Has Only The Best, Yoogest Vote Fraud (Just Kidding It Is Weak And Sad)
Wonkagenda, Monday, October 31, 2016
Deleted Comment: Genuine 'Black Ops' Veteran Defends Best Evil-Fightin' Sheriff Lady In Texas
A Children's Treasury of Crazy People Reacting to Hillary Probably Winning
Let's Pretend To Care About Kansas And South Carolina! Your Senate Sunday Reaches Its End
Now It Is Time For All Good Men To Come And Eat This Cream Cheese Potato Soup
AT&T Loves America So Much It's Selling Customers' Privacy Straight To Law Enforcement
Trump-Loving Black Dude Tossed From Trump Rally For Loving Trump While Black
Hillary Clinton Cannot Even Believe This Sh*t
Your Weekly Top Ten Does Not Want To Think About Anthony Weiner's Dick Right Now
Donald Trump Jizzes Pants Over Hillary Clinton Emails
Anthony Weiner's Dick Explodes All Over Hillary Clinton's Emails
Yeah, There's Still No Voter Fraud, Despite Your Idiot Facebook Friends
FBI Finds More Hillary Clinton Emails, Oh Jesus, Kill Us Now
Weird Dilbert Guy Scott Adams, Cruelly Persecuted By #HillBullies, Continues Descent Into Madness
Sen. Mark Kirk 'Jokes' About Tammy Duckworth's Ethnicity, Military Service. How Can He Lose Now?
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton Called Young Voters 'F*cking Dumb', Just Kidding No She Didn't
Donald Trump Is A Creepy Boob-Comparer, Says 'Shark Tank' Star Barbara Corcoran
Jezebel Apparently Thinks It's HILARIOUS When Puppy Dogs Die
Old Handsome Joe Biden Might Be Hillary's Secretary Of State, Which Would Be A Big F*ckin' Deal!
Wonkagenda: Friday, October 28, 2016
Sad Gary Johnson Isn't A Dummy. YOU'RE The Dummy, You Dummy!
BREAKING! Clarence Thomas Is Gross Sex Perv Again, Allegedly
Let's Watch Michelle Obama And Hillary Clinton Being Awesome Together RIGHT NOW!
Joe Walsh Only Fingering His 'Musket' Because Thomas Jefferson Told Him To
Idiot Trump Lady Wishes Hillary Clinton Would Stop Doing Sexism To Donald Trump
Oh, Like Republicans Would Ever Try To Suppress The Black Vote, Just Kidding!
Hero Rep. Jason Chaffetz Un-Undorses Trump, Ready For Hillary! ('s Pre-Peachment Hearings)
'Journalist' Mark Halperin Has World's Most Adorable Crush On Donald Trump
Meet The Genuine Death Cultist Behind All Those White People With 'Blacks For Trump' Signs!
Legal Idiots On Hillary's Supreme Court: We Don't Need No Stinking Judges
Wonkagenda: Thursday, October 27, 2016
Let's Celebrate Hillary Clinton's Birthday, By Watching Her LOL At Donald Trump!
Is Donald Trump Just F*cking OVER Running For President At This Point?
Darrell Issa So Mad About Guard Bonus Clawbacks He Knew About For Two Years, Did Nothing About!
I Don't Know How To Tell You This, But Republicans Might Not Be Great To Women
Donald Trump Loves His Dead, Racist Dad
Awwww, Big Man Donald Trump Thinks He Could Beat Joe Biden In A Fight!
Newt Gingrich Goes Nuts On Nasty Woman Megyn Kelly, A Known Female Lady
Donald Trump Will Raise Money For Republicans Just As Soon As He Figures Out How That Benefits Him
These Wonderful Old Lesbians Will Beat Your Ass If You Don't Vote For Hillary Clinton
Wonkagenda: Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Creepy 'Alt-Right' Dude Knows About The Sexy Sex Dreams You've Been Having About Donald Trump
Guys, We Think Donald Trump MIGHT NOT Actually Understand Obamacare
Donald Trump Love-Gushing Over Hillary Clinton Is Bestest Thing You'll See All Day!
Can Somebody Go Check On Weird Dilbert Guy Scott Adams?
Donald Trump Demands Obama 'Look At His Tape.' What Tape? You Know, THAT Tape!
Kellyanne Conway Can't Delete Donald Trump's Twitter, Because She's Not His Real Dad
Alien Bigfoot Tells Sean Hannity About All The Lesbian Sexxx He Had With Hillary Clinton
Uh Oh There Are Two More Hillary Clinton 'Scandals' And They Will Finally ... Hahahahaha No
Wonkagenda: Tuesday, October 25, 2016
This Stupid Election Killed Tom Hayden
Nasty Woman Elizabeth Warren Officially Done With Donald Trump's Sh*t
Barack Obama Ain't Got Time For Congressjerk Darrell Issa Pretending They Are Friends
Trump Idiot Kellyanne Conway Wants More Debates, Because Donald Trump Is So Good At Them
In Very Own Gettysburg Address, Donald Trump Ends Groping Controversy By Promising To Sue Everybody
Weird Dilbert Guy Promises To Assassinate Donald Trump If He Becomes Hitler. O ... Kay?
Linguists: Trump Is Saying 'Big League,' Not 'Bigly,' Still Stupid Either Way
Donald Trump Will Make It Illegal For #Rigged Media To Hurt His Feelings
Trump Hotels Running Away From Donald Trump As Fast As They Can. Respectfully, Of Course
Wonkagenda: Monday, October 24, 2016
Deleted Comments: Wonkette's Crackhead Pretense Of Liberalism Isn't Fooling Anyone.
Oh Hey Rand Paul Is Still Running For A Thing. Remember Him? Your Senate Sunday!
Cuddle Up Under A Blanket Of Scalloped Potatoes And Ham!
Donald Trump, Flaccid Man Of Chinese Steel: Yr Corporate Roundup
Your Weekly Top Ten Found ALL THE VOTER FRAUD!
Joe Biden Wants To Beat The Sh*t Out Of Donald Trump
DRUDGE SIRENS! Black People Beat Up Nice Trump Supporter's Car In Obviously Fake Video!
'Journalist' James O'Keefe's Dumb Videos Will Send Hillary TO ELECTION JAIL, You Bet
If This Hillary Clinton Ad Doesn't Make You Cry, You Are Dead Inside
Shiny Happy People Voting Early. Just Look At All These People Not Rigging An Election!
Judge Rules Planned Parenthood May Now Tap Dance On Mississippi's Face
Oprah Would Like To 'Splain Something To Dumb 'Undecided' Voters
Dinesh D'Souza Tweet Too Gross Even For Dinesh D'Souza. OR NOT.
Ladies Simply *Must* Be Told When They Are Nasty, Says Genteel Southern Trump Idiot
Dame Peggington Noonington Endorses Own Vivid Imagination For President
Donald Trump And Hillary Clinton Trade 'Jokes' At Al Smith Dinner, Civilian Casualties Limited
Old Handsome Joe Biden Just Saying Maybe Donald Trump Is Stupid As Hell
Wonkagenda: Friday, October 21, 2016
Here Is Wonkette's Nasty Woman Tee And Tote And Coffee Mug And Onesie And All Of The Things
How Can Hillary Clinton Defend Her Foundation When It Hasn't Bought Any Snazzy Art?
Donald Trump Believes In Integrity Of American Elections Won By Donald Trump
You Know What, MSNBC Focus Group? Just Stay Home. It's Okay Not To Vote.
A Children's Treasury Of Post-Debate Turd Polishing
Pussy Donald Trump Already Complaining Debate Was #Rigged
Hillary Clinton Tells Donald Trump Where He Can Shove His Russian Wikileaks
Donald Trump Doesn't Have To Concede. All He Has To Do Is Lose.
Donald Trump Was So Low-Energy Because Donald Trump Jr. Stole All His Coke
Her Name Is Hillary Clinton. Madame President If You're Nasty.
Hillary Clinton Chopped Off Trump's Head, METAPHORICALLY (But Also For Real)
Wonkagenda: Thursday, October 20, 2016
Welcome To The Third (And Last Ever?) Presidential Debate!
James O'Keefe Gets Democratic Operatives Fired. Countdown To When He Pays Them $100,000 Starts Now
Trump Idiot Kellyanne Conway Shocked Hillary Clinton Not Winning More Bigly
Make Robyn's Eggplant Parmesan With Spaghetti And Gravy!
Jerk Lady Guilty Of Trying To Make Somali Woman Speak English By Hitting Her In Face With Beer Mug
GOP Wants To Waste Our Time With Another Hillary Clinton Investigation, Hooray!
Ecuador Grounds Julian Assange From Internet For Being Raging Douchewhistle
Donald Trump Wished Condi Rice Were More Of A Bitch, Like Him
Time To Watch Trump And Hillz Fight Each Other TO THE DEATH! Your Final Debate Preview
Sonia Sotomayor Wanted To Smack Scalia With Baseball Bat, But Only When He Was Talking
Newsbusters Knows Who Is The Real Pussy-Grabber, And It Is Sci-Fi Time-Travel Ghost Of JFK
Wonkagenda: Wednesday, October 19, 2016
These Are The Songs Sexxxy Obama Listens To When He's Pumping His Sex Body
Donald Trump Wants Witnesses To His Groping Attacks? Here's Some.
Donald Trump Wants Mean Girls Clinton And Obama To Leave That Nice Putin Alone
Barack Obama Tells Donald Trump To Stop Being Such A Pussy About The Election
Ridiculous Number Of Dildo Militiamen At Malheur Refuge Were Government Informants, LOL
How Is Hillary Clinton Murdering America With Her Emails Today?
Watch White House Spokesman Josh Earnest Call Trump A Coke Fiend, Because He Has Eyes
Melania Trump Knows Donald Only Said Rapey Stuff So Billy Bush Would Like Him
Good News! 'Democracy Now!' Host Amy Goodman Won't Go To Jail For Doing Reporter Stuff
Oh Hey, Donald Trump Stole Casino Employees' Retirement Funds? That's Weird
Wonkagenda: Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Nice Time! Badass Veteran Chicks Pretty Sure Donald Trump Can Go Grab Himself
What If Fox News Didn't Suck So Much?
Stupidest People On Internet Going Postal Over Troll Who Says He Rips Up Trump Absentee Ballots
John McCain Promises To Keep Supreme Court Crippled Until President Palin Elected In 2020
LOL Hillary Clinton Might Win Sarah Palin's Alaska
Republican Officials Only Rigging Vote Against *Black People*, OK Donald Trump?
Hillary Clinton Unleashes Comcast-Level Attack On Julian Assange
Case Closed: Trump Victim Actually Groped By Velvet Underground Song
Donald Trump Knows Somebody's Doing The Firebombing, And It Is Animal Democrats
Wonkagenda: Monday, October 17, 2016
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Hyprocrocy Is One Of My Biggest Pet Peaves!!!!
Your Senate Sunday: Indiana Just Barely Getting Bayh
The Only Way To Make French Onion Soup
Actress Marlee Matlin Kicks Donald Trump's Ass With Both Ears Tied Behind Her Back
Elizabeth Warren Will Rip Off SEC Chair's Head, Sh*t Down Her Neck
Your Weekly Top Ten Is Still Obsessed With That Badass Michelle Obama Speech
Let's Watch Hillary Clinton Dance With That Ken Bone Dude, Because It's Friday
More Women Now Accuse Donald Trump Of Groping Them Than Are Projected To Vote For Him
Scottie Nell Hughes: Men Talking About Pussy Grabbing Just Like Women Getting Their Periods
Donald Trump Has Probably Never Met 'Apprentice' Contestant He Sex-Groped, ALLEGEDLY
Trump's Idiot Son Shares Heartwarming Letter From Little Girl Who Wants Hillary IN JAIL
Delta Flight Attendant: Is There A White Doctor On This Plane?
Mike Pence Real Good At Talking To 11-Year-Old Girls About Body Image Issues
Donald Trump To Blame Mexican For All His Pussy-Grabbing Problems
Ben Carson Would Like 'Morning Joe' Reporter To SHUT UP LADY HE'S TALKING
Trump Jr.: Ladies Shouldn't Even BE In Business If They Don't Like Sexual Harassment
Master Of Disguise James O'Keefe Catches Russ Feingold Saying Shockingly Bland Things About Guns
Lou Dobbs Accidentally Doxxes Trump Accuser, Oops! Stuff Happens, Doesn't It?
Let's All LOL With Donald Trump About What A Sexual Predator He Is!
Wonkagenda: Friday, October 14, 2016
Donald Trump Is Going Insane Right Now About Jews And Ugly Women Out To Get Him
New York Times To Donald Trump: Disgusting Serial Sex-Assaulter Says What?
Michelle Obama Just Unleashed Hell On Donald Trump, And It Was BAD. ASS.
Rush Limbaugh Hates How Liberals Always Focus On 'Rape' Aspect Of Rape
Somebody Did All The Groping, And It Was Donald Trump (Allegedly)
Rudy Giuliani: Yup, I'm A Idiot
Donald Trump Big Fan Of 10-Year-Old Girls Getting Old Enough To Bang Donald Trump
Donald Trump Finally Finds Locker Room. Whoops It Has Naked Miss Teen USA Girls In It!
Wonkagenda: Thursday, October 13, 2016
President Barry Bamz Obama Will Rock Your Face Off In New Hillary Clinton Ad
Rudy Giuliani Doesn't Remember Seeing Hillary Clinton On 9/11. Maybe She Was Flying The Planes!
Wikileaks Now Featuring Hottest Recipes From Devil Hillary Clinton's Kitchen
What Are Airline Passengers Freaking Out About These Days? Why, Muslims, Of Course
Freeze Your Balls Off the Medicinal Way
Barack Obama Claims He's Not A Demon. Which Is Just What He Would Say.
Is This Barack Obama's Giant Boner? Sure, Why Not
Texas Congressidiot Just Can't Decide If 'I Like Raping Women' Would Be Bad
Joe Arpaio Faces Contempt Charges As Feds Grab Him By The Posse
Wonkagenda: Wednesday, October 12, 2016
Ben Carson Pretty Sure Y'all Just Haven't Heard Enough Of Donald Trump's Rapey Sexxx Talk
Trump Idiots Pretty Sure Beyoncé To Blame For Donald Trump Being So Rapey
Donald Trump Says He's A Blue Collar Guy. And Tony Soprano Is A Waste Management Contractor.
Oh Sh*t, Hillary Clinton Was SOOOOO Racist In These Made-Up Wikileaks Emails That Weren't From Her!
To All You Nimrods Losing It Over Hillary Clinton's 'Public' And 'Private' Positions ...
Real Billionaire Warren Buffett Shows His Taxes, Dares Trump To Whip His Out Too
Trump Crows Over Email Forward From Crazy Uncle Vlad
Loser Donald Trump Can't Stop Crying Over What A Big Loser He Is
Happy Indigenous Peoples' Day, Native Americans, The DC Court Gave You This Pipeline!
Donald Trump Never Grabbed Them By The Dick, So Don't You Worry About That
Wonkagenda: Tuesday, October 11, 2016
Monday Recipe Hub: Chicken, Sauteed Spinach, And Yams. SMASH IT.
Senior Trump Advisor Alex Jones: Obama, Clinton Possessed By Real Demons And Also They Smell
Giuliani On Actually Innocent 'Central Park Five': Somebody Was Doing The Raping!
Trump Idiots: Really, Is 'Grabbing Them By The Pussy' Even *Wrong*?
Donald Trump Admits He Pays No Taxes, Nation Reels In Not Shocked Unsurprise
Mike Pence Still In Love With Cuddly Pussburglar Donald Trump
Martha Raddatz Yanks Talking Stick From Hillary To 'Splain Donald Trump What 'War' Is
Donald Trump Just Joshing About Jailing Opponent! Tip Your Waitstaff! Is This Mic On?
Donald Trump's Debate Performance Didn't Really Grab Us By The Pussy
Wonkagenda: Monday, October 10, 2016
Donald Trump Goes Nuclear, Finishes 'Debate Prep' With Bill Clinton Rape Accusers, Let's Liveblog
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Wonkette And Google Conspiring To Keep Jill Stein Down
SORRY I HAVE BEEN YELLING AT YOU, MILLENNIALS, YOU'RE COOL I GUESS
Nail-Biter Races In Idaho, Vermont, Just Kidding. Your Senate Sunday Is Close To Its End!
Weird Dilbert Guy Scott Adams Has Thoughts On Donald Trump, 'Polyamorous Alpha Male Serial Kisser'
You've Never Had A Day As Good As Hillary Clinton's Friday
Little Girl Hillary Clinton Punched Kid In Nose For Endangering Baby Bunnies. What A B!
A Children's Treasury Of Good Thoughts About Donald Trump's Little Rapey Mistake
What We Talked About Before We Talked About Donald Trump And Your Vagina. Your Weekly Top Ten!
Donald Trump Declares Moral Bankruptcy
Trump Debuts New Campaign Slogan: 'Grab Them By The Pussy'
Donald Trump Is Going To Ruin Your Weekend. Your Sunday Night Debate Preview!
Donald Trump Warns Mexico Not Just Sending Rapists And Murderers -- Now It's Sending VOTERS
Donald Trump Still Needs To See Copy Of Central Park Five's Long-Form DNA
Donald Trump Preparing For Sunday's Debate By ... Oh Screw It
Fox Jerks So Glad That Nice Hurricane Matthew Came And Made It Harder For Dems To Vote
Sorry, Hate-Crimers, You Can't Use 'Donald Trump Told Me To Beat Up Foreigns' As A Defense
Thanks A Lot, Gays, For LITERALLY Sodomizing Florida With Hurricanes
Snarling Congresscreep Darrell Issa Running Behind Democrat In New Poll. Cry, Darrell Issa, Cry!
Paul Ryan Campaigning With Donald Trump, But SHHHHHHHH, It's Too Embarrassing!
Oh No, These Sad 'Alt Right' Dudes Think They Are Reservoir Dogs Now!
Sad Ted Cruz Phone-Banks For 'Nominee' He 'Supports,' Whomever That Might Be, No Way To Know
Racist Jesse Watters Sorry His Asian Racism Got You All Butthurt
Wonkagenda: Friday, October 7, 2016
Hillary Clinton Is A Good Person
Angry Tennessee Mom Demands Immediate Removal Of Muslims From World History
Donald Trump Says It's Cool If You Die On November 9
Sean Hannity Can't Stop Crying Because Megyn Kelly Is Bad Mean Bully
Evil Murdery Coal CEO Says He's A 'Political Prisoner,' Amnesty International Oddly Uninterested
Donald Trump Will SUE Hillary Clinton For Quoting His Stupid Mouth Words Verbatim
Bill Clinton Clarifies He Never Had Hate-Sex With Obamacare
Rush Limbaugh Pretty Sure Liberals Can't Wait For Hurricane Matthew To Kill Everybody
Trump Tells Roomful Of Nevadans They Say 'Nevada' Wrong, Because Why Not At This Point?
Trump Supporters Warn Civil Rights Museum To Step Off Sidewalk For White Candidate
Wonkagenda: Thursday, October 6, 2016
BREAKING: TRUMP SUPPORTERS SOMEWHERE AREN'T JERKS TO DISABLED LITTLE GIRL
Fox News's Jesse Watters Can't Stop LOLing Over How Weird Chinese People Are
Racists Reeeeeally Mad Hillary Clinton Keeps Lying That Racism Exists
All The Times Mike Pence Defended Donald Trump's Past Statements By HEY LOOK OVER THERE!
Mike Pence Did Pretty Good In Debate -- Will Donald Trump Punch Him Right In The Face?
Mike Pence Pretty Mad At Hillary Clinton For Only Having 1/26th Trump's Proposed National Debt
Mike Pence 'Compassionately' Wants To Nationalize Your Uterus
Wonkagenda: Wednesday, October 5, 2016
STOP SAYING IT'S BORING IT IS NOT BORING! Your 2016 Vice-Presidential Debate Liveblog!
Gary Johnson Knows Learning Things Is A Gateway Drug To Knowing Things
Trump Foundation Funds Helped Trump Win Political Support, Kneepad Receipts Still Not Found
What The Hell Has Happened To Wikileaks?
Time To Get Romanced By Tim Kaine While Mike Pence Watches. Your Vice Presidential Debate Preview!
Looks Like Donald Trump Done Gone And Pissed Off The Veterans!
Lying GOP Liar Brags About How Anti-Tim-Kaine Ad Evokes Willie Horton, Then Denies It, Is Liar
New York Attorney General Tells Trump Foundation To STFU, Only All Legal Like
Oh Nothing, Just Another Member Of The Bush Family Schmoozing For Hillary Clinton
Wonkagenda: Tuesday, October 4, 2016
Sucks How Secret CIA Spy Anderson Cooper Plans To Rig Second Debate For Hillary Clinton
Chicago Wonkers! You Don't Have To Spend The VP Debate Alone!
Dear Media: Can You Please Let Donald Trump Step On His OWN Dick? Thanks.
Rightwing Rag Gonna Make Some Sh*t Up At You About How Hillary And Bernie Are Beefing
Swell Fellow Who Wrote 'Bill Clinton Love Child' Book Has Some Gentle Murmurs For Your Wonkette
'If Trump Did It': David Cay Johnston On How Trump Dicked Over His Investors And The Country
Barack Obama Pretty Sure Dumb Ol' Sarah Palin To Blame For Rise Of Donald Trump
Guess Matt Drudge Forgot He Already Admitted 'Bill Clinton's Love Child' Story Was Bunk. Huh!
Maureen Dowd Even Manages To Be Misogynist Pig About Donald Trump
Donald Trump Thought Some Ladies On 'The Apprentice' Were Almost As F*ckable As Ivanka
Taliban Disappointed In Donald Trump's Lack Of Seriousness, Withholds Endorsement
Wonkagenda: Monday, October 3, 2016
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Michael Savage Is Much SMRTR Than U Libertard Itiots!
Senate Sunday: Louisiana Won't Be Electing David Duke To US Senate. Sorry Racist Scumbags!
Who Sent The New York Times Donald Trump's Taxes? We're Gonna Go With 'Marla Maples'
Enjoy Your Global-Warming-Delayed Autumn With Delicious Southern Tomato Pie!
Everybody So Mean To Poor, Criminal Wells Fargo. Thank God Mitch McConnell Is Making It Right!
Rightwing Rag Free Beacon Finds Hillary Clinton's 'Whitey' Tape
Your Weekly Top Ten Features Wonkette Baby Being AN ADORABLE BEATNIK
Old Handsome Joe Biden Calls Donald Trump A Idiot In Nicest Way Possible, Then Has Ice Cream
Nobody Gives Donald Trump Credit For Not Wanting To F*ck 12-Year-Old Paris Hilton
Filipino Donald Trump OK With Being Called 'Hitler,' As Long As He Slaughters The Right People
Hillary Clinton Beats Donald Trump's Ass On Twitter, And It Is Glorious
Coal Company CEO On Donald Trump's Energy 'Plan': Dude, Get Real
Hillary Thugs Rig Radio Idiot Michael Savage's Mic, For Some Reason Forget To MURDERRRR
Dear USA Today: You Are Good! You Are Also The Worst!
Donald Trump's Foundation Never Bothered Getting Certified As A Real Charity, Egad.
Senate So Mad At Obama For Letting Them Override His Veto Of Their Piss-Ignorant Bill. No. Really.
This Dude Is The Dumbest Trump Campaign Surrogate Of All, And That's Sayin' Something!
Donald Trump Justifies Fat Shaming Alicia Machado By Slut Shaming Her Instead
Trump Surrogate Howie Carr Tries To Be All Racist About Obama, But Heart Not Really In It
Wonkagenda: September 30, 2016
Super Smart Trump Campaign Manager Accidentally Admits Her Boss Is A Criminal LOL OMG WTF
Wonkette Has Donald Trump's Back, Kellyanne Conway!
North Carolina Gun Humpers Raffle Off AR-15, Throw In Picture Of Hillary Clinton, Haw-Haw-Haw
Let's All Apply For This Trump-Fluffing Job At ConservativeDailyPost.com!
Here Are Some More Ladies Donald Trump Thinks Are Totally Butt Ugly
Texas Still Doing All It Can To Keep Filthy Americans From Voting
Megyn Kelly Teaches Donald Trump's Idiot Campaign Manager How Campaigns Work
Donald Trump Very Angry Google's Hiding All The Bad News About Hillary Clinton
Lady With Boner About College Paper Sex Column For Montana Supreme Court!
Donald Trump Will Have You Know He Saved That Chunky Beauty Queen's Job
Sad Gary Johnson Can't Name Any Foreign Leaders, Not Even Barack Hussein Obama
Hey, All Y'all Who Whine That 'All Lives Matter': Tell It To This Little Black Girl
Wonkagenda: Thursday, September 29, 2016
'Will & Grace' Rises From Dead To Demand All Good Americans Vote For Hillary Clinton
FBI Director Reminds Republicans Hillary Clinton Didn't Do Email Crimes, No Really Dude, Stop It
THE JIG IS UP! Total Proof Hillary Clinton And Lester Holt Cheated At Debate! (Or Not)
Barack Obama Stopped A Pipeline On Native Lands And All He Got Was This Silly Hat
Grown-Ass Chelsea Clinton Don't Give Two F*cks About You, Donald Trump
Paul Ryan Voice Of Reason On Shutting Down Government This One Time
Fox News Reminds Stupid Fox News Hosts Not To Be So Stupid All The Time
We Figured Out Why Donald Trump Thinks He Is Worth Ten Billion Dollars
Trump Golf Course Only 'Storing' Ugly Trump Painting For Charity, As One Does
Donald Trump's Idiot Advisers Have Plan To Help Him Win Next Debate, Ayup, You Betcha!
Counter-Counterpoint: Okay Fine, Hillary Did Great, Please Don’t Hurt Me
Donald Trump Got $2.3 Million In Fees Paid To His Foundation, If That Don't Beat All
Chris Christie Thought Bridgegate Was Totally LOL, Is Liar, SURPRISE!
Wonkagenda: September 28th, 2016
Awwww, SOMEBODY Says Donald Trump Won The Debate, And It Is Enemy Russia
Counterpoint: Trump Lost, But Only Because He Hung Himself From His Own Dick
What Was Trump So Darn Mad about After Debate? It Would be Irresponsible Not To Speculate
Donald Trump And Rudy Giuliani Playing 'Adulterous Slut' Card Against Hillary Clinton. Really.
Donald Trump Never Said That Thing About Taxes He Said An Hour Before He Denied Saying It
Sniffle-Britches Donald Trump Obviously Dying Of Something, But What Could It Be?
Trump Creeper Roger Stone: After Debate, Hillary Was Whisked Offstage, Put On Life Support
Hillary Clinton's Temperament Can't Stop Giggling At Unhinged Man-Baby Donald Trump
Trump Rationalizes Calling Miss Universe 'Miss Piggy' By Calling Her Fat Again
Slate Pitch: Hillary Clinton Was Terrible In Last Night's Debate, And JUST KIDDING!
Wonkagenda: September 27, 2016
Praise God And Pass The Gravy, Josh Duggar Cured Of Being Complete Boner Pervert
Rep. Trent Franks Claims 'The Left' Started The Civil War Because They Loved Slavery So Much
Bigots Joining Together To Preemptively Discriminate Against Yucky Homosexuals
Iowa Rep. Steve King Decides Now's A Great Time To Get Neo-Nazi AF
'Pro-Life' Utah Senator Mike Lee Totally Fine With Flint Babies Drinking Poison Water
Alex Jones Won't Be Fooled When Hillary Clinton Tries To Assassinate Herself
New Trump-Clinton Presidential Polls: Time To Put Head Between Knees, Kiss Ass Goodbye
Nestlé Being Only Mildly Evil This Time, Compared To All The Other Times
TONIGHT! Ready To Watch Hillary Clinton Grind Donald Trump Down Into A Fine Dust?
What Is A Lie? A Philosophical Search For Epistemological Truth Starring This Trump Campaign Idiot
Wonkagenda: Monday, September 26, 2016
BREAKING! Bill Clinton's Old F*ckpal Will NOT Be Donald Trump's Debate Guest!
President Obama Opens Smithsonian's Museum Of African-American History. You *Have* To Watch This.
Ball-Less Wonder Ted Cruz Endorses ... Nope, Don't Care, Talking About This Instead
Your Weekly Top Ten Features Wonkette Baby WITH HER PUPPY DOG
Wonkette's Unsolicited Advice For How Hillary Clinton Should Debate Donald Trump, You Are Welcome!
Rakeyia Scott Would Rather You Charlotte Cops Please Not Shoot Her Husb... OH F*** F*** F*** F***
Do You Know How To Use A Song As A Weapon? WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEARN.
Clinton Ad Highlights How Trump's Words Make Girls Feel Like Garbage
Awwww, Hillary Clinton Bought A New House For All Her Emails Or Huma Or Whatever
Tulsa Cop *Might* Not Even Get Away With Murder!
Omarosa Can't Wait For Best Buddy Donald Trump To Become Next Hitler
Dumb Americans Forget To Be Afraid Of Syrian Refugees, What A Bunch Of Dummies!
Let's All Laugh At This Awful MRA Meme About How 'Feminism Indoctrinates Our Children'
Another Trump-Supporting Republican Explains Where Racism Comes From (Hint: Lazy Black People)
Dr. Rand Paul Would Like To Investigate Hillary Clinton's Innards For Signs Of Pestilence
Wonkagenda: Friday, September 23, 2016
Donald Trump Is Gonna Make Our National Debt So Huge, It'll Be Unbelievable
Trump Aide: Donald Trump Can Misuse Charity Funds However He Wants Since It's All His Money, Silly
BREAKING! Gay-Hatin' Kentucky Judge And His Wife Are *Not* Banging Their Houseboy, Nosario
House Democrats Borrow IRS Hearings To Ask What's The Deal With Trump's Taxes
Hillary Clinton Went On 'Between Two Ferns' To Show Kids These Days How Hip Grandma Is
Ohio Trump Chair Lady So Sad Obama Had To Go And Invent Racism
Why Do Millennials Want To Punch Hillary Clinton In The Throat? A Wonk-Thinker!
Donald Trump Only Wants Stop-And-Frisk In Chicago, Where The Blacks Are
Trump Campaign Explains Hinky Trump Foundation Donations: It Was Hillary Clinton, Duh.
Donald Trump Doesn't Want To Admit Refugees Because He's A Racist, Dammit, A RACIST!
Preacher Who Claims Women In Yoga Pants 'Deserve Rape' Arrested For Kicking One
Wonkagenda: Thursday, September 22, 2016
Who Wouldn't Want To Share A Blanket Fort With Michelle Obama And Stephen Colbert?
Don King And Donald Trump, Ebony And Ivory Of Con Men, Sing Together In Perfect Insanity
'Pick Up Artists' Not So Artistically Raped Some Ladies, Bragged About It Online
What Should You Do With A Racist Rant From A Trump Supporter? Make It A Campaign Ad, Of Course
Well, It Looks Like It Is Time For Anthony Weiner To GO TO JAIL
Joss Whedon And Every Celebrity Ever Will Save America From 'Muppet Hitler' AKA Donald Trump
Donald Trump Will Build A Wall Around Syrian Refugees, And He'll Make The Ay-Rabs Pay For It!
Florida A.G. Pam Bondi: Why Return Donald Trump's Money? The Check Cleared, Didn't It?
New Trump Ad Is Very Long And Painful And Makes No Sense, But We Watched It For You Anyway
Trump Campaign Says Syrian Refugees DEFINITELY Just Like Poison Murder Skittles
Your Morning Maddow: Here's How Our Presidential Candidates Get Along With A Dictator
Wonkagenda: September 21, 2016
Here's Elizabeth Warren Yelling At A Wall Street Bankster, Because You Love That Crap
Alex Jones Rants About She-Devil Globalist Witch Angelina Jolie, In Better Times
Harry Reid Says Donald Trump Not Very Well Endowed, With Dollars
Donald Trump Used $258,000 From His 'Charity' To Pay Legal Fines. Impeach Hillary Clinton!
Guy Who Taught GOP To Call Democrats 'Sick Corrupt Liberal Traitors' Very :( About Mean Election
Remember When Donald Trump Thought Paula Deen Hurling N-Word Around Was No Biggie?
Cops Now Shooting Black People When Their Cars Break Down, Which Makes All Kinds Of Sense
If Donald Trump Jr. Were A Candy, What Candy Would He Be?
Jesus-Loving Calligraphy Bigots Ordered To Make Wedding Invitations For Gross Gaywads
Utah's Dumb Anti-Abortion Laws Not As Fabulously Persuasive As They'd Hoped
George H. W. Bush Voting For Hillary Clinton, Like All Patriotic Americans
Bomb Squad Saves Pennsylvania Town From Threat Of Jihadi Cookies
Wonkagenda: Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Chicago Wonkers! Come Watch The First Debate With Us! It Will Be SEXXXY!
Trump Ally Alex Jones: Obama's Father Smelt Of Elderberries, And His Mother Was A Hamster
North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory Failing SO HARD Right Now, And It Is Hilarious
ISIS's Preferred Candidate Donald Trump So Mad Hillary Clinton Says He's Helping ISIS
Ted Nugent Disgusted By Wimpy Stabbing Victims, Just Disgusted
Cops Somehow Catch Chelsea Bombing Suspect, Despite Donald Trump Calling Them PC Pussies
Joe Scarborough Has Joe Scarborough's Worst Idea Yet (It Is Trump: The Musical)
New York Times Accidentally Commits Act Of Journalism
Hero Thieves Remake 'Escape From New York,' Save City From Chelsea Bomb Blasts
Trump Idiot: Something Seem *Different* About This Obama Fella To You Guys?
Donald Trump Just As Excited About Chelsea Bombing As You'd Imagine
Wonkagenda: Monday, September 19, 2016
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Wonkette's Reptilian Hybrids Write Horrific Pieces Of Gruel
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Whiz Kid Con Artist at it Again!
Your Senate Sunday: Missouri Democrat Jason Kander Really Wants To Roll A Blunt
First You Get The Sugar, Then You Get The Lobbyists, Then You Get The Cover-Ups
Your Weekly Top Ten Features Wonkette Baby PLAYING WITH A DOLLHOUSE!
And Now For A Special FRIDAY DANCE PARTY Because It Is Friday Why Not
Missouri Rescues Second Amendment From Tyranny Of So-Called Concealed Carry 'Permits'
Trump's New 'Pro-Life' Advisor Thinks Too Few Women Die In Childbirth These Days
Donald Trump Grants President Obama Retroactive Citizenship
Uh Oh, Harry Reid's One Good Eye Is PISSED At Husky Donald Trump!
Trump Campaign Not Sure If Getting Salmonella Is Awesome Or Not
Hillary Clinton Returns To Campaigning, Somehow Doesn't Topple Over Dead
David Brooks Would Like Young Black Football Players To Stop Kneeling On His Lawn
Will Trump Bring Back HUAC And Put This Wacky Racist Dude In Charge Of It?
Under Strict Terms Of Pact With Satan, Donald Trump Still Can't Say Obama Born In USA
Dinesh D'Souza Crying For Help Again
Wonkagenda: September 16, 2016
I, Also Too, Would Like To Tell You A Story About Wonkette
New York Republicans Elect Dead Guy In Primary Election, Because It's 2016, Isn't It?
Donald Trump Jr. Making Silly LOL Holocaust Jokes, As One Does
New York Times Pretty Sure Trump Bribery Stories Not True Unless New York Times Breaks Them
Hot New Dating Site Helps Gun Humpers Hump Other Gun Humpers
Too Bad Harry Reid's Too Shy To Say What He Really Thinks Of Donald Trump
Donald Trump On Flint's Black Lady Pastor: B*tch Set Him Up!
Snippy Ivanka Trump Bolts From Hard Hitting Cosmo Interview To Be Anywhere Else At All
Donald Trump's Idiot Son Says Dad Won't Release Taxes, Because Then Everybody Could See His Taxes
Donald Trump's Child-Leave Plan Only For Mommies, Because What Kind Of Pussyman Changes Diapers?
Trump's Dr. Oz Appearance Hasn't Even Aired Yet And Already We Are Laughing And Laughing
Wonkagenda: September 15, 2016
Wonkette Been Very Very Good To Me
George Zimmerman Being Bizarre Whiny Ass-Baby, Again
ABC's Report Of Hillary Clinton's Death Somewhat Exaggerated
In Hacked Emails, Colin Powell Gossips About Trump, Benghazi, Those Dicks Who Effed Up Iraq
69-Year-Old Lady With Oxygen Tank Cold-Cocked By Trump Dude, For America Obviously
Here Is The Most Important Part Of The Monster Newsweek Investigation Into Trump's Foreign Munneez
New York Attorney General Somehow Under Impression Trump Foundation Might Be Kind Of Fishy
Republicans Really Worried Their Guy Might Become President
Wonkagenda: September 14, 2016
I Feel Much Better Now, Thank You! By Me, Your Editrix
North Carolina GOP Throws Hilarious Tantrum Over NCAA Being Nice To Transgender Peeps
Garbage Alt-Right Dude Hopes To Dox Brock Turner's Rapee, For Liberty, And Fairness
Trump Campaign Manager Kellyanne Conway Has Had It With You Media Scum!
Middle Class Better Off Than It's Been Since Bush's Financial Crisis, THANKS OBAMA
Hey Seattle, You Wanna Park? (TUESDAY! TONIGHT!)
Godly, Jesusy Ohio Ex-Mayor Was Pretty Sure The 4-Year-Old He Was Raping Was Into It
Mike Pence 'Denounces' David Duke But Can't Say He's 'Deplorable,' Since That's A Hillary Word
Kentucky Teabagger Gov. Says Your Grandbabies WILL HAVE TO DIE If Hillary Clinton Is Elected
Guy Who Loved Uganda's 'Kill The Gays' Bill Cannot BELIEVE How Narrow-Minded Liberals Are!
Now Is The Time For All Good Wonkers To Come To The Aid Of Our Dick Jokes
Donald Trump's Foundation Remarkably Bad At Charity, Ain't That A Kick In The Pants?
Donald Trump Says Hillary Clinton Better Say She's REAL Sorry For Stating The Obvious
Wonkagenda: Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Wonkette Knows Who Hillary Clinton's Body Double Is, But We're Not Telling LOL
David Duke Says Hillary Clinton Wants Black Men To Kidnap You From Walmart
OMG DRUDGE SIREN Is The DNC Replacing Hillary Clinton? F*ck It Maybe Why Not
Donald Trump Calmly Promises To Start A War If Those Damn Iranians Flip Off Our Sailors Again
Donald Trump Doesn't Want Debate Moderators, Because They Might Ask Him Questions
Nazis, Guys Who Want To Murder Coeds, And Trump Junior All Love This One Weird Meme!
Donald Trump Flirts With Appearance Of Decency In Reaction To Hillary Clinton's Death Pneumonia
Hillary Clinton Says True Thing About Trump Supporters, Everybody Horrified Or Something
Newest Punchy-Face Man Explains Only Rich People Like Him Won't Ruin The Country
Hillary Clinton Has Brain Pneumonia, Trump Demands To Be Sworn In Immediately
Wonkagenda: Monday, September 12, 2016
You Got Your Seattle Drinky Thing In My Senate Sunday! Two Great Tastes, Etc., Etc
Time Again For Wonkette's Annual Children's Treasury Of Terrible 9/11 Art
Walmart And Coca Cola Team Up For 2016's Best 9/11 Tribute!
Your Weekly Top Ten Features Wonkette Baby FLYING LIKE A ZEBRA!
Nice Time! Obama Administration Cavalry Comes, Puts Hold On North Dakota Pipeline
What Ellen DeGeneres And Katy Perry Did For Pulse Shooting Survivor Will Make You Sob Happy Tears
Stormfront Neo-Nazis Want Your Kids To Catch Pokémons, Jews
'Let's Roll!' Gary Bauer Tells Values Voters They Must Crash America To Save It
Trump's Lying Campaign Manager Knows Who Was For Iraq War, And It Was Barack Obama
In Which Rudy Giuliani Lies And Lies And Lies About Donald Trump's Birther Sh*t
Donald, Interrupted: Black Pastor's Trump Interview Won't Air Just Yet. We Wonder Why?
Louie Gohmert Says It's Not Christ-like To Make Fun Of 'Special Needs' Folks Like Hillary Clinton
Women Abandoning Feminism In Droves In Hopes Of Winning Heart Of *This Guy*!
Donald Trump Will Love Vladimir Putin Forever And Ever, And You Can't Stop Him!
Donald Trump And Hillary Clinton Tell Stories And We Grade Their Work
Looks Like Donald Trump's Statements About Intelligence Briefings Are A Buncha Horsesh*t
Wonkagenda: Friday, September 9, 2016
Hillz, Interrupted: Matt Lauer Not Very Good At Doing Journamalism
Rich Person Phil Robertson: Flood Victims Should Just Move If They Don't Like The Water
Donald Trump Jr. Obviously Inherited His Smarts From His Daddy
Thoughtful Chicago Tribune Columnist Muses About 'Feral' Black Boys
Paul Ryan So Sad Hillary Clinton Was Mean To That Nice Trump Boy
Did Colin Powell Lead Hillary Clinton Into Life Of Dirty Email Crime? MAYBE!
Donald Trump 90% Wrong At Commander-In-Chief Forum, Exceeds Expectations
Reince Priebus Just Wants To Know If He Can Get A Smile From A Pretty Lady
Hillary Clinton Did A Press Conference, Which Is Impossible Because She Doesn't Do Those
Judge Won't Let North Dakota Pipeline Company Bulldoze Sacred Native American Sites Just Yet
Badass Sen. Barbara Boxer Has Some Questions About Donald Trump's Illegal Immigrant Models
Wonkagenda: Thursday, September 8, 2016
Dumb Apple Steals Headphone Jack From Your Weekly Dance Party
Nice Time! Hillary Clinton Is A Nice Person!
Bundy Bunch Trial Starts With Life-Or-Death Demand To Allow Idiots To Wear Cowboy Boots
Obama Not Wearing Wedding Ring In Laos, Probably For Gay Muslim Reasons (Again)
Atrocious Gamergater/Alt-Right Blogger Takes Time Off From Harassing Women To Assault A Cop
Trump Idiot Katrina Pierson So Mad Libtard Dallas Morning News Endorsed First Dem In 75 Years
Italian Supreme Court Rules Public Masturbation Not A Crime, Police Must Take Hands-Off Approach
Is It Time For The Press To STFU About Hillary Clinton's Press Conferences?
Why Can't Donald Trump Just Pay These Little Girls The Money He Owes Them?
30 'New' Hillary Clinton Benghazi Emails A Big Pile Of Nothing. VERY CONTROVERSIAL NOTHING
ITT Tech Closing Nationwide, Leaving Students To Mercy Of Better, Less Expensive Community Colleges
Ann Coulter 'Terrific' At Telling 'Jokes' At Rob Lowe Roast, Like LMAO!
Wonkagenda: Wednesday, September 7, 2016
HAHA PORTLAND, WE TRICKED YOU! WE ARE CRASHING WEDNESDAY'S DRINKY THING!
Hillary Clinton Hacked Up Lung In Cleveland, And NBC News Is ON IT!
Hillary Clinton Attended Birthday Party Of Clinton Foundation Official Bill Clinton! GO TO JAIL!
Donald Trump Thinks Hillary Clinton Just Doesn't Have That Presidential Look
LOL Hillary Clinton Might Win Mississippi, Yes We Said MISSISSIPPI
Pipeline Goons Sic Dogs On Native American Protesters, Because America
Five Reasons We Made Up Why Greta Van Susteren Just Peaced Out Of Fox News
The Man Who Would Deny Us Taco Trucks On Every Corner Is *Kind Of* A Scumbag
Gretchen Carlson Gets $20 Million From Fox, Untold Number Of Silkwood Showers
God Spares Phyllis Schlafly Sight Of First Woman President
Wonkagenda: Tuesday, September 6, 2016
San Antonio District Attorney Will Put Vaccines IN JAIL!
We Bet Allen West Would Still Like Labor Day To Honor Robber Barons And Scabs
Remember When Eric Cantor Honored America's Unsung Managerial Class on Labor Day?
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Your Potty Mouth Clearly Shows That You Are A DEMOCRAT!
Your Senate Sunday: Oregon's Ron Wyden Probably Not In Much Danger From 'Blah Blah Blah' Dude
Obama's Labor Day Executive Order So Un-American That It Helps Workers
Vagendas, Manocides And Anthony Weiner. Your Weekly Top Ten!
Jill Stein Shows Up In Wrong City For Speech, Airplanes Clearly In The Tank For Hillary
Indiana Lady Pretty Sure She Had 'Religious Freedom' To Beat Her Kid To Bloody Pulp
Brock Turner's Judge Needs Moneys, So He Can Set Some More Rapists Free
Donald Trump's Answers To Black Pastor Pre-Scripted, But He'll Blow It Somehow
Roger Ailes Is Bigger, More Disgusting Sex Perv Than You Ever Could Have Imagined (Allegedly?)
Deadbeat Donald Trump: A Cheap Bastard Who Stiffed Top Campaign Staff. Surprise?
Trump Volunteers Must Sign Contract To Love Trump Forever
This One Chart Explains How Donald Trump Is Vile Beyond Description
Trump Foundation's Gift To Florida A.G. Pam Bondi Was A Little Illegal. Is That A Crime?
When Hillary Clinton Is President, We Will Get To Eat SO MANY TACOS
How Is The Clinton Foundation Colluding With State Department To Rape Puppies Today?
There Goes Old Handsome Joe Biden, Defenestrating Donald Trump With #Jokes
'Exorcist' On The Run After Conning People More Directly Than Usual
Wonkagenda: Friday, September 2, 2016
Badass Civil Rights Hero Rep. John Lewis Crowd-Surfing Will Make Your Freakin' Day
How Donald Trump's Sociopathic Parenting Made Donald Trump Jr. The Winner He Is Today
Trump's Hispanic Advisors Apparently Just Finding Out How Trump Feels About Hispanics
Sorry, Gaywad Liberals, But This T-Shirt Is Going To Make You Cry
Donald Trump's Idiot Son Says Shut Up And Stop Making Fun Of His Dad!
North Carolina So Sad Supreme Court Won't Let It Reinstate Racist Voting Policies Just A Little
Julian Assange Warns Hillary Clinton Is A Demon Who'll Murder Us All, Unlike That Nice Mr. Putin
Alex Jones Is Advising Trump On How Hillary Clinton Will Use Chemtrails To Steal The Election
In Bitchfight Between Trump And Mexican President, Who's Lying? ALL OF THEM, KATIE
Texas Attorney General Will Save North Carolina From Transgender Pee-Pee Monsters
Donald Trump's Big Immigration Speech Probably Sounded A Lot Better In The Original German
Pamela Geller Can Hardly Believe Hillary Clinton Plans To Shut Down Breitbart Using THE SHARIA!
Wonkagenda: Thursday, September 1, 2016
Coward Donald Trump Goes To Mexico, Too Big A Pussy To Demand Payment For His Wall
Let's Just Watch Beyoncé Slay At The VMAs. Your Weekly Wonkette Dance Party!
Hillary Clinton's Mental Health Policy Announcement Lost In Coverage Of Anthony Weiner's Dick
A Wonkette Civility Lesson For Sad Sack Primary Losers Acting Like A Buncha Syph-Oozing Dicks
Tomi Lahren Says Colin Kaepernick Only Allowed To Protest His Own Dad
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Solves All His Problems With One Weird Trick: Will Never Talk To Press Again
Hillary Clinton Like 'Hey Donald Trump, Have Fun In Mexico LOLOLOLOL'
Fox 'Doctor' Keith Ablow: Trump Talking About His Dick On TV Proves He's Super Sane
Fox News Says Andrea Tantaros Is Big Honking Liar Who Lies So Much
Michele Bachmann Knows What God Wants, Again, Is Wrong, Again
Prosecutor In Trayvon Martin Case, Angela Corey, Too Awful Even For Florida
Trump Campaign Manager Idiot Wishes Hillary Clinton Would Stop Calling Trump Names
Donald Trump Sure Likes To Exploit Illegal Immigrants When They're Sexxxy Young Models! (Allegedly)
Hide Your Children! It's Your Arizona And Florida Primary Day Open Thread!
Trump Idiot Shares Cool Plan: 'No Voting Rights For Poors Or Whores'
Raise One For Molly Ivins's Birthday, Wonkers, We Miss Her Now More Than Ever
Is John Boehner Driving The Wonkebago To The Portland, Oregon, Drinky Thing?
Hillary Clinton Threatened To Murder Bernie Sanders, Says Credible Not-Russian-Sounding News Site
Rick Perry To Join Vanilla Ice And Ryan Lochte On Reality Dancing Show Because America
Public Policy Polling Can't Stop LOLing At Dumbass Trump Supporters (And Also Dumbass Jill Stein!)
Donald Trump's Doctor Every Bit As Professional As Anyone Else In His Organization, God Help Us
British Lady So Sad Muslim Ladies Can Wear Whatever The F They Want At The Beach
What Are Fox News Patriots Saying About Terrible, Horrible America-Hater Colin Kaepernick?
Donald Trump Ready To Deport Sportsballer Colin Kaepernick For Anti-Flag Crimethink
Sarah Palin Hits Head, Makes As Much Sense As Ever
Let's Imagine: Jill Stein Treats Trump's Physician Dr. Harold Bornstein
Andrea Tantaros To Fox News: Take This Lie Detector Test Or I Will BEAT YOUR ASS
Donald Trump To Visit Black Church In Detroit, No Matter How Dangerous It Might Be
Breitbart's Milo Knows How To Make Women Happy, And It Is By Uninventing Washing Machines
Donald Trump Pretty Sure Hillary Clinton Leaked Secrets On Anthony Weiner's Wiener
Donald Trump Staggeringly Wrong About Another Thing (Crime). Bet You're As Shocked As We Were!
Did Donald Trump's Campaign Chief Fire A New Mommy For Having A Disease? Maybe!
Trump Idiot Scottie Nell Hughes So Sad Hillary Clinton Is A Bigot Towards Bigots
Wingnut Plan To Turn Arizona County Into New Somalia Still On Track. Good Luck With That!
Not-Racist Maine Gov. Paul LePage Advocates Shooting Blacks And Mexicans, Is That Bad?
Donald Trump's Debate Prep Basically Just Eating Hot Dogs And Trying To Make Roger Ailes Giggle
Trump's Campaign Chief, Steve Bannon, Made Bad Science At Biosphere 2 And Was A Jerk Even Then
What The Actual F*ck Is Wrong With Anthony Weiner?
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Hey, Libturds, A Jar Of Pickles Is Not A Medical Exam!
Please Don't DIY Your Own EpiPen! Your Snake Oil Bulletin
Your Senate Sunday: What's The Deal With The Dakotas? Do We Really Need Two?
Barack Obama Founded ISIS With His Number Two ISIS Guy, 'Twitter'
Your Weekly Top Ten Features Wonkette Baby SINGING AT YOU, Click Click Click!
This Is A Really Good Song About How Hillary Clinton Is Super Evil And Coughs Sometimes
Morning Joe Loses Control Without Scarborough to Mansplain Donald Trump For America
Eric Trump's Daddy Running For President Just To Get His Baby Boy A Real Christmas Tree
Sandy Hook 'Truther' Planned His Very Own Mass Shooting ... Or So They Want Us To Think
Grumpy Old John McCain Doesn't Need Young Whippersnappers Calling Him Grumpy and Old
Racist Maine Gov. Paul LePage Ready To Duel Anyone Who Calls Him Racist
Sarah Palin Pretty Sure Donald Trump Not In The Tank For Lamestream Mexican Rapists
Joe Manchin's Daughter Made SO MUCH MONEY Quintupling Price Of EpiPens! Good Job, Her!
Looks Like Donald Trump's Campaign Daddy Might Be Dirty Voter Frauding Bad Guy
Surprise! Trump's New Campaign Chief Had A Little Woman-Beating Problem, Allegedly
Texas County GOP Wants To Oust County Chair Just For Being Deranged Racist, No Fair!
Rush Limbaugh Tried To Warn You About Obama's Lesbian Farmers, But You LAUGHED AT HIM
Wonkagenda: Friday, August 26, 2016
Hillary Clinton Like 'LOL Pretty Sure Donald Trump Is The Real Racist'
Nice Orlando Hospitals Won't Charge Pulse Victims Any Money For Getting Shot
CNN Can't Quiiiite Figure Out Whether Donald Trump Or Hillary Clinton Is The Real Racist
Hillary Clinton's 'Vagenda Of Manocide' Coming To Manocide You With A Vagenda
Scott Brown Too Sexy To Have Sex-Harassed Anyone, According To Scott Brown
Badass Hillary Clinton Ad Just Saying Donald Trump And The KKK Are Madly In Love, Is All
WND 'Writer' Erik Rush Goes Full Lizard People On Hillary Clinton
Donald Trump's Campaign Manager Curious About This 'Constitution' You Keep Mentioning
Transphobic Rodeo Clown Somehow Under Impression He Has Room To Judge Anyone
Arkansas Judge: There's No 'I Have Pancreatic Cancer' In Debtors' Prison
Trouble In Paradise? Ann Coulter And Donald Trump's Torrid Love Affair Hits Skids
Phyllis Schlafly To Louisiana Flood Victims: Speak English Or Go F*ck Yourself
Fox News So Pissed At Google For Hiding Dead Bodies For Hillary Clinton
Wonkagenda: Thursday, August 25, 2016
Hillary Clinton, Justin Timberlake And Jessica Biel Bring Sexy Back To Your Weekly Dance Party
Donald Trump's Dumb Book So Terrific He Just Had To Buy Thousands Of Copies With Campaign Funds
Ann Coulter Will Die Of Broken Heart If Donald Trump Stops Yelling At Mexican Rapists
Fugitive Polygamous Cult Leader Maybe Isn't On The Lam. Maybe Just Got Raptured!
We Are Beginning To Think Texas Really Hates Transgender People
Even Nixonian Dirty Tricks Jerkface Roger Goddamned Stone Thinks Trump Should Release Taxes
Sad 'Real World' Republican Gets Laughed At On CNN At For Being Gullible Truther Idiot
LOL Hillary Clinton Might Win South Carolina
Congratulations, Grad Students! NLRB Says You're Employees, Now Raise Hell!
The Weird Trumpkin Con Man Who Cyber-Stalked NeverTrumpers
New Democratic Ad Is Just People Reading Gross Breitbart Headlines, Because Breitbart Is Gross
North Carolina Cop Had Perfectly Good Reason For Shooting Deaf Man Dead After Traffic Stop, We Bet
Wonkagenda: Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Donald Trump Paying Out The Nose To Donald Trump, Now He's Got Other People's Money
Michele Bachmann So Mad Obama Made It Legal To Beat Up White People
LOL Hillary Clinton Might Win Missouri
Andrea Tantaros's Lawsuit Against Fox News Is OMG WTF INSANE!
Trump Can't Talk To The Blacks Because Blacktown Way Too Dangerous To Visit
Teen Rapist Looks Forward To Enjoying College Experience, No Jail Time
How One Liberal Website Ate Sh*t Apologizing To Donald Trump, And How Another Was A Freaking Hero
Wingnut Conspiracies About Hillary Clinton's Ailing Health Debunked By Jar Of Pickles
Donald Trump's Plan To End Crime: Unleash Dirty Harry, McBain, More-Racist Mel Gibson
Dumb Mike Pence Can't Stop Giggling Over How Much Black People Hate Donald Trump
That Eric Trump Boy Just Ain't All That Bright
Wonkagenda: Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Cher Stumping For Hillary Clinton Is Bestest Thing Your Gay Ass Will See All Week
Hawaiian GOP Candidate's Jebus War Against Tulsi Gabbard Too Crazy For Hawaiian GOP
Texas A-Hole Judge Makes Sure America's Transgender Kids Treated Like Filth, The Way Jesus Intended
How Can Breitbart Be Racist, When That Milo Dude Is Gayer Than Christmas? ANSWER THAT, LIBERALS
Texas Defunding Of Planned Parenthood Improving Women's Health By Killing Them
Sen. Mark Kirk Says Iran Deal Makes Barack Obama A Drug Gangster Who Deals Drugs Like A Gangster
Thin-Skinned Baby Donald Trump Poops Diaper In Rage At Mean 'Morning Joe' Hosts
Let's Imagine: Michele Bachmann Advises Donald Trump On Foreign Policy
Michele Bachmann Advising Donald Trump On International Policy, Radical Islam, Underpants Gnomes
Wonkagenda: Monday, August 22, 2016
Deleted Comments: Wonkette Doesn't Meet Convicted Felon Dinesh D'Souza's High Intellectual Standards
Athletes, Please Don't Stick Your Wieners in Vacuums
Senate Sunday: North Carolina Might Turn Blue, Without Even Holding Its Breath
Rich People Don't Like Their Gelato Treats :/ And More In Your Class-War Roundup!
Your Weekly Top Ten Features Wonkette Baby Dressed Up As Firefighter, YOU CLICK NOW
Rush Limbaugh So Mad Obama Creating Army Of Lesbian Farmers To Destroy America
Donald Trump Drops In For Louisiana Flood Photo Op After Governor Asks Him Not To, Because He Cares
Ivanka Trump's Unpaid Interns Want To Tell Other Interns How To Live Fabulously Poor
Paul Manafort Resigns Trump Campaign To Spend More Time With Beloved Despots
Hillary Clinton's Emails Totally Colin Powell's Fault, Why Does Colin Powell Hate America?
Nice Young Florida Face-Eating Man Just Wanted To Make America Great Again, Is That So Wrong?
Trump Advisor Had Some Thoughts About Ovens And Jews. That Doesn't Really Narrow It Down, Huh?
Jeff Sessions Knows Trump Is True Law 'N' Order Dude, Because He Wanted To Kill Innocent Black Kids
America Finally Gets Chance To See Donald Trump's Penis, Immediately Vomits To Death
Donald Trump Regrets Offending You Or Whatever, He Can Be Preznit Nao?
Chris Christie Eated All Donald Trump's $25 Million In Tax Debt
Middle School Sued For Forcing Muslim Kid To Confess 'Allegiance' To ISIS, Because America
Wonkagenda: Friday, August 19, 2016
Forget Ryan Lochte, Let's Talk About This Hot Medal-Winning American Gymnast Gettin' Nekkid!
Bigot Diners Take Brave Stand Against Server They Wrongly Assume Is A Dang Foreigner
Hillary Clinton Just Screwing Around In Red States Now, For LOLs
Donald Trump Doesn't Trust American Intelligence Agencies, May Just Go With KGB Instead
Justice Department To Ditch Private Prisons! We Should Probably Send Mother Jones A Pie!
Does Donald Trump Have Low Testosterone? According To His Medical Letter: MAYBE!
Rightwing Gal Tries To Bring Down Russ Feingold Campaign, Is As Bad At Spying As James O'Keefe
Let's Try Talking About Juanita Broaddrick, Again
Donald Trump's Campaign Has Its 'ALL OF THEM KATIE' Moment, And It Is Glorious
God Must Have Forgot To Tell Tony Perkins To Build An Ark For Latest Great Flood
Did Aetna Quit Obamacare When It Didn't Get Big Fat Merger? Elizabeth Warren Says Ayup!
Manosphere Sweetheart Roosh V Needs Your Help To Make A Trump Media Enemies List!
Wonkagenda: Thursday, August 18, 2016
Portland Priest Being VERY UNGODLY By Beating Gun Into Plowshare. Wingnuts Furious!
Donald Trump's New Daddy Turned Dead Breitbart Into Most Delightful, Bigoted Sh*thole On Internet
Gay Drunk Racist Tulsa Man Murders Lebanese Neighbor, Nothing To See Here
What's Up With All These Dumb Gross Ads At Yr Wonkette Dot Com? A Wonksplainer
Liz Cheney Wins Wyoming Primary, Prepares To CONQUER HELL
Hey, Remember That Time Meghan McCain Begged Donald Trump For A Job?
Wingnuts Worry Purple Unicorn Brainwashes Kids With LGBTQ Ideas Like 'Acceptance' And 'Diversity'
How Many Blue States Is Donald Trump Imaginary Winning In This Week? So Many!
Donald Trump Hires Breitbart Dude To Fix Campaign, So He Can Win EVEN MORE
Wonkagenda, Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Frail Old Hillary Clinton Shattered A Hip In Scranton, Election Canceled :(
Pennsylvania AG Kathleen Kane Found Guilty Of So Many Things, Bye PA AG Kathleen Kane!
Glenn Beck Says 'Black Lives Matter,' Because Obviously WAIT UP, GLENN BECK SAID WHAT???
Florida Prosecutor Can Send Anyone To Prison (Except George Zimmerman)
LOL Hillary Clinton Might Win Texas, Probably Not But Still LOL
'Fox & Friends' Idiots Discover Wonderful New App That Says Donald Trump Already President
Anti-Choice Weirdo Plans To Shower Hillary Clinton In Dead Fetuses
Donald Trump Really Wanted Invite To Chelsea Clinton's Wedding. Probably To Look For Illegals.
There Goes Badass Harry Reid, Trolling The Living Hell Out Of Donald Trump
Dead Breitbart Releases Awesome Unskewed Poll Where Hillary Still Wins. Take THAT, Liberals!
Wonkagenda: Tuesday, August 16, 2016.
Donald Trump Will End Terrorism By Building A Wall around Teleprompters
Fox News So Mad At Obama And Hillary For Constantly Forcing Donald Trump To Be Dumbass
Teen Tennis Player Who Sexually Assaulted Autistic Girl Will Not Have Future Ruined By Prison
Hair Expert Matt Drudge Knows Hillary Clinton Is Super Jealous Of Trump's Luxurious Mane
WND Publisher Just Asking: Will Obama Indict Hillary To Stay In Office Forever? (Yes, Obviously)
The Guy Who Makes These Comics Just Really Gets Women
Did Trump Campaign Manager Paul Manafort Get Buttloads Of Money From Ukrainian Dictator? Maybe?
Hilarious New Jersey Law Requires Lesbians To Bone Guys
Let's Talk About Juanita Broaddrick
Trump Spokesmoron Katrina Pierson Really Mad Obama Took Us To Afghanistan, Not Disneyland
Wonkagenda: Monday, August 15, 2016
Deleted Comments: That Wonkette's Being All Fascist And Racist And Defending George W Bush Again
Your Senate Sunday: Connecticut And Hawaii Just Blued Themselves!
Wall Street Traders May Soon Have To Live On Burger King 'Whopperitos.' The Horror.
Your Weekly Top Ten Cannot Even Handle This Video Of Wonkette Baby Dressed As A Zebra
Michael Phelps And His Fiancée Have A Gigantic Fight
NBC And Fox News Very Concerned About The Cosmetic Choices Of Female Olympic Athletes!
Donald Trump Wonders Why He'd Want To 'Get Out The Vote.' Is That Even A Thing?
Hillary Clinton Is New Antichrist, Which Must Be Making Barack Obama SO Jealous
Trump-Loving Florida Man Wishes Media The Best, In Only Way He Knows How
Ann Coulter Finally Stands Up For 'Rape Victim,' And It Is Somehow Donald Trump
Donald Trump Loves Sunday School So F*cking Much, It's Terrific And Elegant And You Get Juice Boxes
British Lady Judge Calls Racist Tosser Bad Words, Must Now Be Probed For Bad-Word-Using
Donald Trump Just Kidding When He Called Barack Obama Founder Of ISIS, Just Kidding No He Wasn't
Bob Woodward So Tired Of How Both Sides Are Exactly As Bad As Donald Trump
Trump Campaign Was Totes Cool With Staffers Pulling Guns On People
Sean Hannity Admires Donald Trump For Wonderful Act Of Kindness Trump Never Did
Wonkagenda: Friday, August 12, 2016
Let Barry Bamz Obama Sex You Up All Day And All Night, With His Sexxxy Summer Playlist!
Nancy Pelosi Just Wondering How Many Of You Republicans Are On Slut Pills
Dream Job Alert: Ivanka Trump Is In Search Of An Assistant Editor!
What Else Did Vladimir Putin Steal From the DNC?
Hillary Clinton Touts Endorsement By Terrible Human John Negroponte. Don't Tout That, Hillary!
How Is The Daily Beast Being A Raging Dumpster Fire Today?
Reagan's Daughter All Like 'Hey Trump, Remember That Time My Dad Got Shot?
Hillary Clinton Must Answer For Disgraced Ex-Congressman Mark Foley's Presence At Trump Rally
Looks Like The Philippines Already Elected Their Donald Trump. How's That Workin' Out For Them?
Minnesota GOP Congressional Nominee Has Fun, Creative Views On Women, Slavery, Everything
Malia Obama Spotted Inhaling Devil Drugs, Don't Tell Her Mom And Dad!
Did The Secret Service Give Donald Trump A Talking To? Guess We Will Never Ever Know
Wonkagenda: Thursday, August 11, 2016
Leonard Cohen Says So Long To Marianne. Your Weekly Dance Party
Devil Hillary Clinton Deviously Rigging Elections For Paul Ryan Now, Probably
Julian Assange Is Pretty Sure Hillary Killed A DNC Staffer Because The Internet Said So
Ryan Bundy Moved To Higher Security Cell After Attempting Aggravated Liberty On Deputies
Washington Post Says Trump Teaching GOP To Love The Gays, LOL Shut Up, Washington Post
Surprise! 'Chris Christie Is A Lying Liar Who Lies About Stuff!' Love, His Staff
Hey, What's Larry Klayman Doing? Oh Just Suing Hillary Clinton For Email-Murdering Benghazi
Can Somebody Please Give Sean Hannity A Pacifier Or A Buttplug, For His Mouth?
Trump Idiots Can't Seem To Agree On What He Meant By 'Second Amendment People' Comment Either
CNN Knows What Is News, And It Is HILLARY CLINTON LOVES THE ORLANDO SHOOTER'S DAD!!1!
SC Gov. Nikki Haley Puts Ann Coulter, Confederate Slavery Flag In Their Proper Places
Crybaby Donald Trump Is So Effin' Scared To Debate Hillary Clinton, You Guys
Fox News Sent A Spy Lady Out On Dates With Reporters, Like An Old-Timey Honeypot
Aw, Cute! Trumpkins Have Their Own Site Now That Says Trump Is WINNING In The Polls!
Wonkagenda: Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Donald Trump Would Be Sad If Someone Had To Shoot Hillary. But That's How Democracy Works.
Put Down Your Suicide Implements, Wonkers! It Is Happy Hillary Hug-Times, Hooray!
Girlfriend-Kicking Garbage Tech Dude Gurbaksh Chahal May Finally Go To Jail!
Where's Weirdest Place Ex-Sen. Scott Brown And Wife Ever 'Did It'? No, Not In The Butt.
Kansas Lawmaker's Child Reportedly FREAKING DECAPITATED By Unregulated Waterpark
Donald Trump Is Losing Because, At Heart, He's The Class Clown
Idaho Faith Healers Fixin' To Ignore Any Satanic Laws Requiring Them To Keep Their Kids Alive
Gay Hatin' Mayor Caught Playing Strip Poker With Underage Boys, Because Of Course He Was
Roger Ailes Slimed All Over Andrea Tantaros And Her Bikini
Dinesh D'Souza's 'Hillary's America' Turns Your Angry Wingnut Uncle's Emails Into A Movie
Jenna Bush Lathers Up A Tongan
Trump Unveils Great Childcare Plan For People Who Can Already Afford Childcare
Wonkagenda: Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Donald Trump Gives Boring Wrong Speech On Economy, But At Least Says 'Titties'
What Is Hillary Clinton Dying From Today?
Congressjerk Darrell Issa To Open Years-Long Hearings On Why He Might Lose His Seat This Fall
Hey Ladies! This Weird Pastor Dude Wants To Arm Wrestle You To Prove His Inherent Superiority
Scott Baio Doesn't Care If You Hate Him For Loving Trump, HE DOESN'T CARE, SHUT UP!!!
Maureen Dowd Writes A Short Story About Donald Trump, Gets C-Minus In Fiction 101
Marco Rubio Dreams Of Forcing Zika-Infected Women To Give Birth To Microcephalic Children
'Oath Keepers' Militia Loons Pretty Sure John McCain Needs To Be Executed For Being Tortured
Justin Trudeau Can't Stop Nakeding His Way Across North American Continent
Gay-Hatin' Alabama Judge Suspended, Just For Facebooking His Penis To Some Lady
LOL Hillary Clinton Might Win 'The South'
Wonkagenda: Monday, August 8, 2016
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Wonkette Got Its Very Own Rooshian Troll!
No, Jill Stein, WiFi Isn't Cooking Our Children's Brainzzzz
Your Senate Sunday: Florida's U.S. Senate Race About As Screwy As Everything Else In Florida
Sasha Obama Takes Job From Real American
Jill Stein And That Weird Dilbert Guy Walk Into A Bar: Your Weekly Top Ten!
Why Do Hillary Clinton Press Conferences Hate White People So Much?
Want To Unsubscribe From Automated Donations To Trump Campaign? Too Freakin' Bad!
Trump Assembles Crack Team Of Random White Dudes Named Steve To Advise Him On Economics
Trump Campaign Releases Laziest Dumbass Ad Of 2016 Campaign
Uh Oh, Looks Like Hillary's Murdering Everybody Again
Who's Better At Handling Big Scary Protesters, Hillary Or Trump? Spoiler, It Is Hillary!
Barack Obama Can't Stop LOLing At That Dumb Whack-Off Donald Trump
Glenn Beck Yelling At Bill Nye About Noah's Ark, Because Science
Josh Duggar Sued For Stealing Guy's Face And Trying To Have Sex With It
President Obama Loves The Ladies, In The Feminist Type Way
Paul Ryan's Primary Challenger Won't Be Sporting 'Coexist' Bumper Sticker Anytime Soon
Breitbart And Stupidest Man On Internet Can't Stop Posting Fake-Ass Trump Rally Pictures
Wonkagenda: Friday, August 5th, 2016
Wonkette Demands Justin Trudeau Release All Photographs From His Half-Naked Spelunking Trip
Trump Supporters Stomping Crap Out Of Protester (Again) Really Love USA, Senseless Violence
Trump Allies Cross Over From Parallel Universe To Tell Us How Humble And Respectful He Has Been
Missouri Gov Jay Nixon Cut Budget For Public Defenders, So Now He Has To Be One
Trump's Last New Jersey Casino Is Now Just Another Failure In His Empire of Failures
Happy 55th Birthday, President Obama! Check Out These Badass Senior Discounts We Found You!
OOPS! Was Melania Trump An Illegal Immigrant? Will Donald Build A Wall Around Her?
Supreme Court Saves America From Transgender Teens Making Bathroom Everywhere
Hillary-Haters Making Hilarious Jokes, To Tickle Our Funnybones!
DAMN! Those Texas Fetus Funerals Are Gonna Cost A Non-Fetal Arm And Leg
Jill Stein Didn't Want You Dumb Old Bernie Voters Anyway
Taste Of Trump On Newt Gingrich's Tongue Goes Sour
Wonkagenda: Thursday, 08/04/2016
IKEA Tells Kanye West To Eff Right Off. Your Weekly Dance Party!
Ivanka Trump Not Strong, Powerful Woman Immune To Sexual Harassment After All
Ben Carson Wishes That Mean Muslim Khan Couple Would Say Sorry To Donald Trump
Ex-Trumper Corey Lewandowski Revives Birther Nonsense, As If Week Weren't Stupid Enough Already
Bunch Of Republicans Who Love Donald Like Crazy To Stage Trumptervention
Trump Vows Vengeance On Mortal Enemies Paul Ryan, John McCain, Kelly Ayotte, That One Crying Baby
Is George W. Bush In The Tank For Crooked Hillary Clinton? We Are Just Asking.
Why Can't Man-Baby Donald Trump Use Nuclear Weapons, WHY WHY WHY??? A Wonksplainer
Trump U Case To Move Forward Even Though Trump Would Prefer It Did Not
Tammy Duckworth Not About To Let Donald Trump Go Around With A Purple Heart On
Rick Santorum Will Not Go Down Without A Fight
Old Handsome Joe Biden Makes Gay Weddings Great Again
Christian Store Owner Terrorized By Lesbians Holding Hands (Like They Do In Strip Clubs)
Wonkagenda: Wednesday, August 03, 2016.
Jilted Lover Chris Christie Takes Trump's Name In Vain, Gonna Get A Spankin'
Prolific, Articulate Donald Trump Says New York Times No Write Words Good
White Power Trump Supporter Guys Almost As Scared Of Women As Donald Trump Is
Baby Screams At Trump Rally. Also, There Was A Baby.
President Obama Calls Trump Dumbass Again, Because Trump Is Being A Dumbass Again
Trump Frets November Election Is 'Rigged' Since He Might Not Win
Ann Coulter Threatens To Give Up And Write Cookbooks And Mysteries If Trump Loses! Oh No!
Remember How Donald Trump Is A War Hero, Too, Except The Opposite Of That?
Trump Men Wish All You Lil Ladies Would Toughen Up And Stop Letting Yourself Get Sexually Harassed
A Few Little Racial Slurs Won't Knock The Crown Off Miss Teen USA's Head
Wonkagenda: Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Fundie-Scarin' Funtimes: Satanic Temple Rolls Out 'After School Satan Clubs' Just In Time For Fall!
CNN's Brian Stelter Kicks Ass Of Trumpkin Insisting Fight With Khan Family Somehow About Terrorism
Donald Trump's Great Sacrifice Was Dumping His Wives For Younger Women, Says Idiot
Yeehaw! Texas Colleges Open To Pistol Packin', What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Parents Of Dumb Muslim War Hero Continue Doing Terrorism To Donald Trump
Donald Trump SO MAD Colorado Fire Marshal Refused To Let Him Die In A Fire
Donald Trump's Debate Prep Strategy Mostly Involves Prepping To Weasel Out Of Debating
We Got Canvassed By A Jill Stein Guy! It Was Not Very Fun For Him!
Wonkagenda: Monday, August 1, 2016
'Dr.' Jill Stein Pandering to Anti-Vaxxers, Because She Is Awful
Why Are All These Gold Star Families Being So Mean To Poor Donald Trump?
Your Weekly Top Ten Is Somewhere In Virginia Probably
Plastic Industry-Funded Study Shows Plastic Is Awesome For Planet, Wow!
NOT A DRILL: Old Handsome Joe Biden Is Gonna Be On 'Law And Order: SVU'
Dumbass Mike Pence Doesn't Like Big Mean Name-Callers, Like Donald Trump
Democratic Convention Steals Republicans' Toys, Makes Them Cry
Donald Trump Wishes He Could Haul Off And Punch DNC Speakers Like BAM! So Hard
Hackers Steal DCCC Money, Are Better At Internets Than Edward Snowden
Democrats Target Donald Trump's Greatest Weakness: Donald Trump
Pity Poor Donald Trump, Who Is Tweeting His Impotent, Thin-Skinned Rage At Hillary's DNC
Hillary Is Lady President Of The World Now, And We Are Going Home
Weird Dilbert Guy Scott Adams Basically Castrated By DNC And Alicia Keys
Hey Mr. Trump: Is A Muslim War Hero's Father American Enough For You?
Stop Saying Donald Trump Mocks People With Disabilities: His Buildings Are Accessible!
Wonkagenda: Friday, 07/29/2016
DNC Night Four: Hillary Clinton Makes History, Bill Makes Sammiches. Your Wonket Livebloog!
Badass Speaker Nancy Pelosi Says Gay-Hatin' Republican Party Platform Is 'Pathetic'
What Sort Of Damning Things Were Revealed In The DNC Voicemail Leaks????
Reddit Enthusiastically Fingerbangs Donald Trump, In His Bottom
Donald Trump Tells Best Bud Vladimir Putin, Sure, Go Ahead And Keep Crimea. You Earned It!
'Co-Prophet Of These End Times' William Tapley Sings Sweetest Donald Trump Jam You'll Ever Hear
Why Did The Democrats Have To Make Everyone Hate Guns And Be So Sad?
Human Rights Campaign DNC Party Was Best Seventh Grade Dance In Philly!
Watch Old Handsome Joe Biden Kick Sixteen Kinds Of Ass In His DNC Speech
Bill O'Reilly Sad We 'Smear Merchants' Tried To Assassinate Him For His Weird Slavery Comments
Tyrant Barack Obama Warns Trump Is The Real Deal
Wonkagenda, Thursday, 07/28/2016
DNC Night Three: Let's Meet This Tim Kaine Person, Shall We? Also, Barry Bamz! A Livebloog
Jews For Jesus Really Sassy In Philadelphia Right Now
DNC Dance Parties Are Way Sexxxier Than RNC Dance Parties, SCIENCE FACT
Ted Cruz Pretty Hot For Georgia Congressional Candidate Who Says He'd Shoot Cops
Why Does No One Like Donald Trump's Great Idea For Russia To Do Espionage To Hillary Clinton?
Donald Trump Wishes Democrats Would Maybe Use Some Patriotic Imagery, The Commies
Gabby Giffords Is A Literal Friggin' Superhero
If It's Bernie Or Bust, And It Won't Be Bernie, What Does That Leave?
Your Hero Nancy Pelosi Is Tiny And Exquisite, Just Like You Always Imagined
Failed Reagan Assassin John Hinckley, Jr Is Free, Sure Hope He Doesn't Go To A Gun Show
Hillary Clinton Inspires America's Little Girls To Become Corporatist Shills, Or President
Hey, Gray Lady, Whatcha Thinkin' About? 'Oh, You Know, Clinton Stuff.'
Bill O'Reilly: Slaves Who Built White House Had It GREAT!
All Charges Dropped Against 'Journalists' Who Made Up Planned Parenthood 'Baby Parts' Story
Wonkagenda: Wednesday, 07/27/2016
DNC Night Two: How Many Hours Will Bill Clinton Talk Tonight? Here Is Your Livebloog!
'Gay Rights Are Human Rights' Wasn't On Hillary's Teleprompter, She Just Said It With Her Mouth!
Congressman Jared Polis Says Wonkette Is 'Famous,' Which Is Clearly True
Real World' Republicans: Melania Just Stoled Back Speech Michelle Obama Took From GOP
Trump Campaign Takes Candy Right Out Of Creepy Kid Band's Hands, Is Getting Sued For It
Sad! Donald Trump's Live-Tweets Of DNC Very Low-Energy. Pathetic!
Here's Your Badass Michelle Obama DNC Speech, To Show Your Great-Great-Granddaughters
Bernie's DNC Speech A Much Better Call For Unity Than 'Suck It Up Or Start Your Own Party!'
Are You Saying Boo, Or Boo-nie Sanders?
God Expresses Displeasure With DNC By Drenching Philly With Completely Unreasonable Monsoon
Donald Trump To NATO: Pay Up, Suckers
Georgia Not So Concerned About Your Wives And Daughters When It Comes To Upskirt Photos
Wonkagenda, Tuesday 07/26/2016
DNC Night One: Let's All Just Scream At Each Other Forever! A Livebloog Experience
STOP YELLING OVER ELIJAH CUMMINGS AND SHOW SOME GODDAMNED RESPECT
Um, Yeah, Bernie's Gonna Have To Ask You To Stop Chanting 'Lock Her Up!' That'd Be Great.
Bernie Sanders Calls On Supporters To Vote For Clinton-Kaine. It Does Not Go Well
Citizens United And Duck Dynasty Guy Debuted Some Anti-Miley Cyrus Movie At The RNC
Tim Kaine Pretty Good On Abortion For Middle Aged Catholic Dude
Did Racist Dems Call Latinos 'Taco Bowls'? Or Are Wingnuts Kind Of Dense? Just Guess!
Michael Jordan Would Like To Have A Word With You People About Police Violence
Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Barely Escapes Being Pelted With Egg McMuffins. That's A Pity
Idiot CNN Trump Lady So Mad Tim Kaine Speaks Spanish Like Common Dora The Explorer
Genius DNC Staffer Who Suggested Painting Bernie Sanders As Atheist Can Go To Very Religious Hell
Russian Hackers Now Using Wikileaks As Sock Puppet. Thanks, Obama!
Oh Hey Philadelphia, Wonkette Is Inside You, Like A Romance Lover
Even Donald Trump Cannot Escape The YouTube Illuminati Police!
Let's Kick Debbie Wasserman Schultz Around One More Time, For Old Time's Sake
Wonkagenda: Monday, 07-25-2016
Deleted Comments: Criticizing Melania Trump's Plagiarized Speech Is The Last Refuge Of A Scoundrel
Glorious Leader Cures Cancer Forever with Evian
Your Weekly Top Ten Is Ready For Hillary To Pantsuit All Over Philadelphia!
Yr Wonkette Would Like To Get The Hell Out Of Pennsyltucky Now
Alex Jones, Roger Stone And Cenk Uygur Come Near To Fisticuffs To Decide Biggest Asshole
Watch 'Trump' Dancing With His Tiny Hands In This Fabulous Parody Of Rihanna's "Work"
Let's Watch Hillary Clinton Make A Big Announcement! Bet She's Going To Jail! (Updated)
Hey Philly, We're Comin' Atcha For The DNC, Come Drink Beers With Us!
David Duke Officially Announces Plans To Run For Senate, Sounds Exactly Like Trump
Texas School District Will Out Trans Students To Parents For Their Own Good, Even If That's Bad
Dame Peggy Noonington Believeth Ted Cruz Deserveth One Spanking Upon His Uncouth Bottom!
Meghan McCain Wishes RNC Hadn't Given Hillary That Sexxxy Tongue Bath
President Barry Bamz Obama Says He Didn't Destroy America, But He WOULD Say That
Republicans Will Piss On Your Hat, Tell You It's Raining, And You'd Better LOVE It
We Survived Donald Trump's Fear-Stew Speech, And So Are You!
Hillary Clinton Not All That Impressed With Donald Trump's RNC Speech, How Odd
Phil Robertson Promises To Go Into Hiding If Donald Trump Loses, Election Stakes Higher Than Ever
Gaze Long Into The Trump Foreign Policy And It Gazes Back Into You: A Wonksplainer!
Driving Out Of Cleveland With A Bullet In My Bumper: Wonkette's RNC Reflections
Wonkagenda: Friday, 07/22/2016
RNC Night Four: Let's Watch the Trumpendämmerung Together! A Livebloog.
ALL THE DRUDGE SIRENS! Roger Ailes Out At Fox, For Reals This Time
In Space, No One Can Hear Your Shrieking About Global Warming
Florida Cops Protect Community From Black Man Lying On Back With Hands In Air
Ted Cruz Finally Manages To Be Kind Of A Mensch, For Once In His Awful Life
RNC Day Three: Greta Van Susteren And Jonah Goldberg Did Not Give Us The Norovirus
Laura Ingraham Serves Up Trump Love And A Really Awkward Wave
Who Was That Caped Circus Lady What Stoled Our Hearts? Michelle Van Etten, That's Who!
If You're Thinking About 'America' When You Breathe Your Last, Ted Cruz, You're Doing It Wrong
President Of Earth Donald J. Trump To America's NATO Allies: Drop Dead
Ted Cruz Pulls Down Pants, Farts All Over Mike Pence’s Big Night
Wonkagenda: Thursday, 7/21/2016
RNC Night Three: Let's Watch America Be First And Mike Pence Be Number Two! A Livebloog!
Rick Santorum As Purty IRL As He Is On The Television
Ain't No Dance Party Like An RNC Dance Party
Trump Advisor Shares Beautiful Dream Of Having Hillary Clinton Shot By Death Squads
Mike Pence To Handle A Bit More Than Typical Veep, Like 'Domestic Policy And Foreign Policy'
Come, Listen To Yr Wonkette Drink Beer And Talk RNC Shenanigans!
Switch To Clean Energy, Help The Earth And Your Wonkette All At Once With One Non-Weird Trick
Third Eye Blind Trolls RNC, Makes Up For All Of 1997
Ben Carson Saw Goody Clinton Dancing With The Devil
RNC Night Two: Chris Christie Persecutes, Er, Prosecutes The Witch
RNC Day Two: Some Business Went Down At The BuzzFeed Party, We Guess!
That Doucher Milo Guy Gets Booted From Twitter Forever, Just For Being A Gross Racist Harasser
Trump Delegates Can't Believe How Terrible The Economy Is For Everyone But Them
Republicans' Awesome Plan For The Economy Basically 'Hillary Emails' And Coal
Donald Trump Jr. Didn't Plagiarize Anything. His Speechwriter Just Recycled, Is All.
Mike Pence Just Not That Into All Those Working Moms Of The '90s
Wonkagenda: Wednesday, 7/20/2016
RNC Night Two: Let's Bitch About How Obama Broke The Economy, Together! A Livebloog
Reminder: America Not As Insane, Doomed As We May Seem
Melania Trump Isn't A Plagiarist, She's a Brony, Says Utterly Shameless RNC Dude
In Which Your New Boyfriend Orders A McChicken Sandwich With A Side Of MEN'S RIGHTS
Corruption Scandal Rocks Obama Cabinet, And You Won't Believe What Hillary Said About It
So What Was The Deal With The Rules Freak-Out At The RNC Yesterday? A Wonksplainer!
RNC Day One Round-Up: Here Are The Hottest Cops We've Seen So Far
Why Won't Megyn Kelly Defend Poor Roger Ailes? Oh Right He Tried To Pork Her Too
Melania Trump Copied Michelle Obama's Homework. Trump Camp Says You Didn't See What You Just Saw
Night One Of Republican National Convention Unleashed Some Deeply Insane, Disturbing Psychosis
Mike Pence Would Like To Spout Some Bullsh*t About The Disney Children's Movie 'Mulan'
Wonkagenda, Tuesday, 07/19/2016
Let's Liveblog Benghazi Night At The Republican National Convention Slow And Easy Like
GOP Platform Includes Big Wet Kiss To Bundy Terrorist Crowd, Big F-You To Parks And Hippies
GOP Convention's Live YouTube Chat Made Me Feel Like I Was Dying
Republican Platform Knows Mitt Romney And Paul Ryan Will Save America -- Yes, In 2016
Trump Ghostwriter So, So, So Sorry He Made It Look Like Trump Was Not A Monster
Donald Trump And Ventriloquist's Dummy Appear On '60 Minutes'
Report: Fox News's Roger Ailes To Get Sh*tcanned For Being Gross Pig
Newt Gingrich Knows What's Good For The Blacks, And It's Not Icky Black President Obama
Gun Humping A-OK In Cleveland, But No Umbrellas, You Could Put Someone's Eye Out
Baton Rouge Cop-Killer Was Sovereign Citizen *And* Black Radical. Two Great Tastes, Etc., Etc.
Which Reality TV 'Stars' Will Make America Safe Again At Tonight's Republican National Convention?
Huzzah! Finally, A Nice Sleazeball Sex Scandal To Lighten Things Up, Whew!
Here Are Your Missing 28 Pages Of The 9/11 Report, Truthers, You're Welcome To Them
Track Palin Has Most Charges Dropped From Punching Girlfriend In The Face, Isn't That Nice?
Deleted Comments: Stupid Establishment Shills Should Support The Anti-War Guy, Donald Trump
Magic Wands Do Not Detect Bombs
Alabama's Richard Shelby, In Office A Million Years, May Be Glued To Seat: Your Senate Sunday
What The F*ck Is Going On In Turkey? A Wonksplainer!
Trump-Pence Campaign Sends Dumb F*cking 'TP' Logo Down The Memory Hole After One Day
Rick Snyder Picks Former BP Lobbyist To Protect Michigan's Environment. What Could Go Wrong?
It's Your Last Weekly Top Ten Before Donald Trump Devours The GOP Convention Whole!
Trump Was Trying To Get Out Of Pence Pick At Midnight Last Night, Because He Is A Fickle Dick
Let's All Point And Laugh At The Stupid Ugly Trump-Pence Logo!
Beautiful New Republican Convention Just Falling Apart At The Seams
Oklahoma Spending All Its Natty Ice Money Investigating 'Threat Of Islam.' Yes, In Oklahoma
Trump And Family 'Material Witnesses' To Huge Tax Avoidance Scheme By Mobbed-Up Partner. Huh!
Donald Trump Names Mike Pence As His One True Veep, Newt Gingrich Sulking On The Moon
REMINDER: You Are Drinking With Yr Wonkette In Cleveland On Sunday!
Newt Gingrich Wants To Test U.S. Muslims To See If They've Caught The Sharia
Did Mike Pence Want To Divert AIDS Money To Ex-Gay Therapy? That's Neat.
Josh Duggar Not Sorry Satan Used His Jesus Peener For Evil
Phil Robertson Wants To Be Trump's Spiritual Advisor, Has Some Real Neat Ideas
Donald Trump And Hillary Clinton On French Terrorist Attack: Let's Compare And Contrast
Donald Trump Delays Veep Pick Reveal Until After This Commercial Break
Let's LOL At Donald Trump's Maybe Vice Presidential Pick Mike Pence, Who Is A Idiot!
Boris Johnson, Noted Lout And Buffoon, Is England's Next Top Model
Donald Trump's Suit Against Ex-Staffer Looking Even Smarter, If That Were Possible
Who'll Be Piling Out Of The Clown Car At The Republican Convention? Not Sarah Palin, Somehow!
By How Much Will Hillary Clinton Whomp Donald Trump Among Catholics? (LOL)
Megyn Kelly Shouting Match On Racism With D.L. Hughley Does Not Go Well, For Megyn Kelly
GOP Convention Guests Get To Potty Next To ALL The Trans Folk In Cleveland, Yippee!
Sexual Harasser Bill O'Reilly Pretty Sure Roger Ailes Never Sexually Harassed Gretchen Carlson
Ben Carson's Best Buddy Armstrong Williams Is A Big Ol' Manrasser! (Allegedly!)
Black GOP Senator Treated Just As Badly By Cops As Black Folks Who Aren't GOP Senators
Donald Trump Sick And Tired Of Being Hassled By The Man
Pamela Geller Is Suing The Facebook For Loving Muslims Too Much
Maya Rudolph Plays The Butter Tub Better Than You Do. Your Weekly Dance Party!
Smart Donald Trump Picks Perfect Moment To Seek Legal Vengeance For Staffers' Sex Affair Story
Cleveland's Big, Gay Trumpkin Party Will Be Full Of Hate, Hair, And Pamela Geller
New Guy On N.C. Board Of Education Will Save Kids From Sex Books, Like Isabel Allende's
Log Cabin Republicans Shocked (Shocked!) At The GOP's Gay-Hating Platform
Why Do I Have An Erection When Speaking In Tongues? A Wonksplainer
Wonkette Wingnut Boyfriend Bradlee Dean Has Some Demons To Show Us, In His Pants
Donald Trump Seen Leaving Mike Pence's Place In Last Night's Dress
Was George W. Bush Drunk At The Memorial For The Slain Dallas Police Officers?
Hey Cleveland, Ready To Have A Drinky With Yr Wonkette This Sunday? Yes, You Are!
Wingnut Superlawyer Larry Klayman Sues All The Black People, For Being Scary And Mean
Michele Bachmann Knows Jesus Told Her To Jump Huma Abedin's Muslim Bones
David Duke Plans Run Against Steve Scalise, Figures Louisiana Ready For Real KKK Guy
Barack Obama Says 'We Are Not As Divided As We Seem' And We Even Believe It For A While
Trump Veepstakes Cliffhanger: Is It Newt? Is it NEWT?
Donald Trump SO MAD At Notorious RBG, Says Judges Aren't 'Sposed To Have Opinions!
Republicans Commemorate One Month Anniversary Of Orlando Shooting With Fun New Anti-Gay Bill
Angry Youths Attempt Riot in Chicago While Trump Begs For Money
Donald Trump Very Disappointed Bernie Sanders Didn't Endorse Him Instead Of Hillary Clinton
How Will Barack Obama's Thoughtful Eulogy For Dallas Cops Outrage Wingnuts? Watch And Guess!
Donald Trump To Be Law And Order President, Execute All Black Teens Not Playing Checkers
Hip-And-With-It GOP Platform Yells At Clouds, Gay People, And Sage Grouses
Philippines Wins World Court Case Over South China Sea Islands, China Responds, 'Sez Who?'
Watch Bernie Tell Hillary THE DELEGATES DON'T VOTE TILL JULY 25TH Here! Just Kidding!
Is This Lunatic Gay Loving Baby Killer Donald Trump's VEEP? No, Not Newt Gingrich
On Scale Of One To Margaret Thatcher, How Mean Is England's New Lady Prime Minister?
So Who Else Got Shot By Cops This Weekend? And Who Said Stupid Sh*t About it?
Hey Black People! Sarah Palin Is Pretty Sure She Knows More About Martin Luther King Than You Do!
Blogger For Stupidest Man On Internet Arrested Just For Pulling Gun On Black Lives Matter Folks
Trump's Jesus Advisor Will Resurrect Your Dead Relatives For Low, Low Price of $1,144!
U.S., Russia Engage In Cold War Cosplay, Tears For Fears Reunion Next
Obama and George Soros Shot Those Police In Dallas, Also Nicole Brown Simpson and JFK
Mean Green Jill Stein Miiight Let Bernie Sanders Be President If He Changes Neoliberal Shill Ways
Let's Laugh At These Sad White Guys Trying To Outlaw Sexxxy Gayness In Maine
Worst Cop Ever Threatens Tiny Black Girl On Facebook To Teach Dallas Mom A Lesson
Maureen Dowd Wishes Hillary Would Stop Jizzing All Over President Obama's Face
Un-American Trump-Spam Vendor Fires Itself From Donald Trump Campaign
Behold, The Talking Donald Trump Doll Of Your Dreams And/Or Nightmares
Here's Your Badass Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Moving To New Zealand If Trump Is Elected
Poor Donald Trump Wasn't Allowed To Cosplay Like He Was A Cop At NYPD
Who Wants To Hear Some Of Roger Ailes's Pickup Lines, They Are Classy As Balls
Texas Republicans Want To Have Funerals For All The Fetuses
Deleted Comments Of The Week: You Sheeple Represent What Is Sad About America
Don't Listen To Teevee Chefs About Sunscreen Plz
Nobody Needs To Spell Lisa Murkowski's Weirdass Name Right This Time: Your Senate Sunday
Bernie Sanders Set To Become Total Hillary-Endorsing Sell-Out By Next Tuesday
NRA Finally Mentions Philando Castile, Does Not Manage To Mention Philando Castile's Name
Uber Diversifying Its Force Of Independent Robot Contractors
Know What Your Top Ten Needs After This Awful Week? It Needs Wonkette Baby Pictures.
Badass Civil Rights Hero Rep. John Lewis Will Lead Us Out Of This Awful Week
Dallas Probably Doesn't Signal Rise Of Police Death Robots. At Least Not Yet. Probably.
Daily Caller And RedState Post Thoughtful Reactions To Dallas Police Shootings, Wait What?
Deadbeat Racist Former Congressman Joe Walsh Has Always Been At War With Human Decency
Donald Trump's Dallas Statement Full Of Ennui Over Racial Tensions He Actively Incited
Five Dallas Cops Killed By Sniper Who Wanted Race War. Joe Walsh Says He's IN!
Donald Trump Loves His Staffers So Much He (Illegally) Pays Them Double! NICE!
Comey Hearings Just A Bunch Of House Republicans Stepping On Own Dicks. Again.
'Christian' Baker Says God Told Her Lesbians Aren't Allowed To Have Birthday Cakes Either
Donald Trump Goes Over Bigly With Republican Senators In 'Dumpster Fire' Of A Meeting
Good News, Donald Trump Might Not Even Serve As President If He's Elected!
Bill O'Reilly Discovers Damning Evidence That One Time Barack Obama Went To His Brother's Wedding
Georgia Sovereign Citizen Fails To Arrest County Officials, Not Even With Constitution Magic
Trump Will Probably 'You're Hired' Ivanka For Veep Since Everyone Else Has Run Away Screaming
Fox's Roger Ailes Did Not Rub His Pervy Sex Boner On Gretchen Carlson, Says Roger Ailes
Donald Trump Airs His Grievances: The Media (Who Are Probably Jooz)
Another Black Man, Philando Castile, Shot Dead By Police, Because That's What Happens In America
That Gross Milo Guy Has Some Hilarious Satire For You About WAIT COME BACK!
Baton Rouge Thought Cops Killing Black People Was Hilarious Until Now
Dammit, Loretta Lynch Won't Put Hillary Clinton In Email Jail Either!
Let's Have A Dolly Parton Dance Party, Because #ShesWithHer (Probably)
House Republican Dingbats Find New Thing To Investigate, And It Is House Democrats!
Hillary Clinton Got Some Bernie Sanders In Her 'Free College For Most' Proposal
Paul Ryan Says Hillary Clinton Too Dangerous For CIA Briefings, Trump Just Fine
Fox News's Gretchen Carlson Allegedly Fired For Refusing To Bang Roger Ailes On His Penis
Donald Trump Hearts Saddam Hussein
Macy's Can't Lock People Up And Charge Them For Things They Didn't Steal No More, Unfair!
Black Man In Baton Rouge, Alton Sterling, Becomes Hashtag
House GOP Wants To Investigate Hillary's Emails, Because That's Gone So Well In The Past
Arizona Hopes To Out-LePage Maine, Screw Poors Harder Than Any Other State
Oppressed Trump Supporters Not Even Allowed To Drunkenly Annoy Waitstaff Anymore
Sarah Palin Spills Boone's Farm In Rage Over Lyin' Hillary's Email Tyranny
Obama And Hillary Were A Bundle Of Giggles And Glitter Farts In North Carolina Today!
Scott Walker Pretty Much Only Republican Willing To Be Seen At Trump's Coronation
Why Hillary Clinton Will Not Rot In Jail For Aggravated Emailing: Your Ultimate #Emails Wonksplainer
Checkmate, Atheists! Duck Dynasty Dude Says Jesus Existed Because Calendars
World-Famous Dick Joke Emporium And Mommyblog 'Wonkette' Does Not Understand The Kids These Days
H.A. Goodman, We Are Sorry For Your Loss
Florida Man Sorry He Killed Son, But Just Can't Stay Mad At His Beautiful Guns
FBI Refuses To Imprison Hillary Clinton For Being History's Greatest Email Monster
Jerk America-Haters Won't Wish Allen West Happy Independence Day
Pro-Brexit Racist UKIP Guy Nigel Farage Quits Like A Common Palin
Look At All The Beautiful White People On Donald Trump's VP Short List!
Trump Definitely Not Racist This Time
A One Hundred Percent Trumpless Appreciation Of Elie Wiesel, RIP
Deleted Comments: Oh, Goody, It's Time For 'Pro-Lifers' To Carry Out Some Vigilante Justice
Dinesh D'Souza's Favorite Candidate Takes On Amy Schumer's Cousin: Your Senate Sunday
You Guys, We Have A Deep, Thoughtful, Sober President. That's So Weird.
Apple Gets Patent To Destroy Its Own Creation
Splodey Heads Are Sploding All Over Your Weekly Top Ten
Nice Time! Gay Syrian Refugee Pretty Darn Happy To Be In Boise. Yes, The One In Idaho
Fox News Jackholes Wish America's Little Kiddies Would Get A Damn Job
Won't You Shelter Yr Wonkette In Cleveland And Philadelphia For Convention Time Funsies?
Sorry, Florida, You Can't Tell Women To Get Their Lady Bits Checked At The Dentist Anymore
Mean Federal Judge Says Indiana's Bad Abortion Law Is Bad, And It Should Feel Bad
Fine, Loretta Lynch Has Better Things To Do Than Read Hillary's Dumb Emails Anyway
Good Mississippi Christians Can't Discriminate Against Yucky Gay Homos No More, Unfair!
Could Hillary Clinton Win Georgia? Sure, Why Not, LOL
Ted Cruz Teaches Homeland Security Chief Three Magic Words To Stop Terrorism Forever
If Donald Trump Says 3 + 1 = 5, Then 3 + 1 = 5
Obama Shoves Trans Equality Down Military's Throat, Military Salutes And Says Yessir
Perfect And Sane Donald Trump Just Saying Mexico About To Attack New Hampshire
John McCain Explains To Donald Trump In Very Small Words: Torture Is Bad
White Lady Tomi Lahren SO MAD Jesse Williams Won't Thank Her For Freeing The Slaves
KKK Feels Ready For A Comeback, Since Trump Is Stealing All Its Best Material Anyway
In Tribute To Rock Hall Of Fame, Nazis To Recreate Altamont Concert At Cleveland GOP Convention
How Many Broom Closets At 30 Rock Have Joe And Mika Used To Bump Uglies?
Is Donald Trump A Nosy, Thin-Skinned Telephone Eavesdropper? Maybe!
Donald Trump Really Really Really Needs Money. Might There Be An Illegal Way To Get Some?
'Pro' Bernie Sanders Fake Super PAC Spent All Your Twenty-Seven Dollarses At The Disco
Fox News's Laura Ingraham Has Diaper Fantasies, And They Are Disgusting
Hillary Clinton's Tech Plan Will Make All Your Kids Nerds
Justin Trudeau Can't Figure Out Where To Put His Hands
U.S., Mexico, Canada Gonna Trilaterally Fix Climate Change, Make You Eat Poutine Burritos
Oh Fiddlesticks, Paul Simon Might Be Retiring. Your Weekly Dance Party
SCOTUS Don't Even Wanna Hear You Christian Pharmacists Whining About Slut Pills
Someone Keeps Tricking Trump Into Partnering With Con Artists!
Tony The Millennial Douche Has Life By The Balls And He Is Going To Squeeze!
Demons (Probably From Gay Animals) Drive Total Kook Gordon Klingenschmitt From Colorado Statehouse
Can This Nice Trans Lady Beat Gross Teabagger GOP Sen. Mike Lee In November?
Marines Remove 'Man' From Job Titles, Weepy Tough Guys Get Sand In Their Manginas
Steve King So Sad Everyone In Orlando Nightclub Wasn't Carrying A Loaded Gun
Mississippi Rep. Real Sorry He Told Mom Of Sick Kid To Get Off Her Lazy Taker Ass
Benghazi Ambassador's Sister Would Like Republicans To STFU And Stop Blaming Hillary
Republicans Poison Zika Funding Bill With Important Help For Confederate Flag, Cuts To Obamacare
Is This Donald Trump's Saddest Elizabeth Warren Hissy Fit Yet?
Donald Trump Is Best Populist Guy, Will Do Populism So Great Your Head Will Spin Right Off Your Body
Federal Judge Gives Mississippi Clerks And Bigots A Real Bad Week
GOP Benghazi Press Conference Basically Just Trey Gowdy Stepping Repeatedly On Own Dick
ACLU Gonna Get Lawyers For All The Little Immigrant Babies. Watch Out, Donald Trump!
Sexxxy Justin Trudeau Invites All The Mexicans To Canada, Doesn't Even Call Them Rapists
Bonus To Hating Trump: Gross MRA Dude Roosh V Won’t Want To Bang You
Russian Spies Pooped On U.S. Diplomat's Carpet, Which Really Tied The Room Together Man
Sarah Palin Sick And Tired Of Lamestream Gotcha Questions ... From Little Kids.
Would You Believe Donald Trump Might Be Bad At Charity?
Joe Arpaio Will Jazz Up The Uniforms Of Heat-Stricken Prison Inmates With Tiny American Flags
Fox News SHOCKER: Hillary Clinton Beat Bill Like An Egg-Stealing Hound
House Republican Benghazi Report Fails To Convict Hillary Clinton Of Murder AGAIN
Parrot Pining For The Witness Box, May Provide Evidence In Michigan Murder Case
Supreme Court So Mean, Won't Even Let Reckless Domestic Abusers Keep Guns
Dumb Obama Can't Even Make Friendship Bracelets, What's He Good For?
Donald Trump Flicks Original Zinger At Racist Pocahontas Lady Elizabeth Warren
Nancy Pelosi Being Really Mean To Paul Ryan's Stupid Obamacare 'Replacement.' Why Is She Mean?
Ben Shapiro Forgets To Pretend Texas's Bad Abortion Law Was About Women's Health
Democrats Release Benghazi Report Saying Hillary Not Murderer, How Is That Even Possible?
A Idiot's Garden Of Brexit Hot Takes Starring Glenn Greenwald, Greg Abbott And Donald J. Trump
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Takin' All The Federal Welfare Monies, Not Giving It To Poor Kids. Huh!
Fox News Dingbats Help Eric Trump Defend His Daddy's Dumbass Brexit Comments
YAY ABORTION! Best SCOTUS Decision Ever Strikes Down Texas's Garbage TRAP Laws
Watch Elizabeth Warren, Hillary Clinton Girl Power You Right In The Nads!
House GOP Knows What's Worse Than Deformed Zika Virus Babies, And It Is Planned Parenthood
Texas Gun Enthusiast Kills Daughters, Aims At Cops, Has Gun Taken From Cold Dead Hands
Jan Brewer Is Just Like, Really Hurt That You Keep Calling Her And Trump Racists And Bigots
Here Is A Fun Story Of Ivanka Trump Helping Her Dad Fleece All You Idiots
Texas Supreme Court Permits Homeschooling Parents To Continue Being Sh*theads
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why U Make Baby Jebus Cry, Wonkette? WHY?
Canadian Kiddie Murderers Sentenced To All-Natural Wrist-Slap
Your Senate Sunday: Anybody But Oklahoma Sen. James Lankford (R - The Worst)
Donald Trump's Triumphant Scotland Sojourn Everything He Could Have Hoped For, Hooray!
Which Bank Is Just Going To Pay A Big Ol' Meaningless Fine This Week?
Wonkette Baby Literally Walking All Over Your Weekly Top Ten
Obama Designates Stonewall As First LGBT National Monument. You're Next, Mt. Rushmore
University Of California-Irvine Does Free Speech Bad, Should Feel Bad
Sarah Palin Excited Enough About Brexit To Name Her Next Child After It
Success Of Brexit Vote Inspires Slack-Jawed Yokels To Demand 'Texit.' Get It? 'TEXIT'!
FBI Just Not Ready To Tell America How Gay Orlando Shooter Was
When Will You Ladies Stop Humiliating The Weird Dilbert Guy With Your Gifts Of V-Neck Sweaters?
Mitch McConnell Kills Nice Bipartisan Gun Bill, Because He's Mitch McConnell
Badass New Miss Missouri Will Be First Openly Lesbian Lady To Gay Up Miss America Contest
Bundy Bro Arrested For Trying To Blow Up A Building! But Don't Worry, He's A 'Patriot'
UK Votes To Leave European Union, And Also Make America Great Again Probably
Bernie Sanders Is Bought-And-Paid-For Corporate Sell-Out Shillary For Hillary Now. (OR IS HE?)
Texas Pool Party Cop Somehow Escapes Being Charged With Anything, What A Surprise, Huh?
Donald Trump Exposes Lying Crooked Hillary's Lies About BENGHAZI!!!!!1!!!!!!!!1111!!!1!
Glenn Beck Knows Glenn Beck Is A Real Civil Rights Leader, Unlike That 'Clown' John Lewis
Supreme Court Will Deport Everybody Before Donald Trump Has A Chance, Sad!
Hillary Clinton Might Win Arizona LOL
Paul Ryan SO MAD At Disrespectful Dems And Their Terrible Horrible Sit-In
Mediocre White Girl Fails To Take Down Affirmative Action
Donald Trump's New BFF Thinks It's Cool To Murder Abortion Doctors, Isn't That Nice?
Donald Trump Not Prepping For Debates, Will Just Be Himself. Clinton Campaign OK With That
There Goes Barack Obama, Kicking Donald Trump In The Nads Again
House Democrats, Led By John Lewis, Throwing The F*ck Down
Wingnuts Having Fine Freakout Over Nonexistent Knife-Wielding Syrian Gang Rapists In Idaho
Texas Can't Even Give Prisoners Delicious Arsenic Water Anymore Thanks To Activist Judge
Was This Man Orlando Mass Shooter Omar Mateen's Gay Latino Lover? Maybe!
Portishead Sings ABBA To Protest Brexit Movement. Your Weekly Dance Party
Tennessee Congressional Wannabe Will 'Make America White Again' Like On Nick At Nite
Paul Ryan Releases GOP Plan To Replace Obamacare With Awesome New Plan Someday
Little Marco Rubio Hates Senate So Much, Wants To Stay In Senate Forever Now
Donald Trump Gives Low-Energy Teleprompter Speech And Nobody Cares. Sad!
MRA Dude Is Gonna Be SO COOL After The Apocalypse, You Don't Even Know
Badass Democrats Will Sit On House Floor Until GOP Does Something (ANYTHING!) About Guns
UK's Brexit Strategy Basically 1. Collect Underpants 2. ??? 3. Profit!
It's Michigan's Turn For Welfare Drug Tests To Fail, Yay Welfare Drug Tests!
Elizabeth Warren Literally Wants To Throw That Loser Donald Trump Down A Drain Now
Rep. Steve King Will Stop Lady-Hating Racists From Putting Harriet Tubman On $20
Michele Bachmann Makes Donald Trump's 'Evangelical Advisory Board,' Wasn't Busy Anyway
Donald Trump Just Wondering If Hillary Is A Muslim Or What. You Know, Like Her Girlfriend Maybe.
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Will Starve All The Poor People Unless He Can Deny Them Cake
You Will Completely Believe How Good Trump Campaign Has Been For Trump-Owned Businesses
Donald Trump Would Like Some Money, Please. For Hats.
Hillary Clinton Can't Stop Laffing At Piss-Poor Businessman Donald Trump
Racist News Anchor Wendy Bell: I Was Fired For Being A White Lady!
Utah Rep Being Bit Of A Racist, Lying Dick To The Indians
Watch Donald Trump Wishing He Was 'A Black' Because They Have It So Much Easier
Senate Republicans Vote To Send Thoughts And Prayers To Future Mass Shooting Victims
Moody's: Donald Trump Would Be 'Bad' For The Economy, Is That Even Possible?
Adorable Senate Prepares To Pretend To 'Do Something' About Guns, Isn't That Sweet?
Butthurt Crybabies For Jesus Just Sickened By All These Rainbow Flags In Florida
Oh Great, Now Great Britain Has Sovereign Citizens Too.
Charlie Sheen Talkin' Sh*t About Donald Trump's Cheap Ass Fugazi Wedding Present
Noted Gun Fondler Will Stop Mass Shootings At Bars By Stiffly Regulating ... No, Not Guns, Silly!
Supreme Court Lets Connecticut, New York Come For Your Assault Rifles, America Finished (Again)
Bernie Sanders Folks Show Sophisticated Comic Stylings With Planned Democratic Convention 'Fart-In'
In Which A Man Going His Own Way Has A Sad Time At A Bar :/
Fox News Idiots Worried Anderson Cooper Too Flaming Gay To Report On Orlando Mass Shootings
Donald Trump, NRA Agree: Only A Idiot Would Advocate Guns In Bars Like Donald Trump, NRA
Donald Trump To That Corey Lewandowski Schmuck: You Are No Longer Employed Here
Whiny Wall Street Babies Preemptively So Mad At Vice President Elizabeth Warren
A.G. Loretta Lynch Trigger-Warning Safe-Space Memory-Holes Orlando Pulse Shooter's 911 Calls
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Is Wonkette So Full of Zionist Jooooz?
Anti-Vaxxers Dox Young Boy As Just Punishment For Anti-Vax Speech Crimes
Can Either Of These Total Newbies Beat Loathsome Utah Teabagger Mike Lee? Your Senate Sunday
Obama Drags Entire Family On Father's Day Vacation To Middle Of Nowhere
What A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week It Was. Your Weekly Top Ten
Neil deGrasse Tyson Turns Twitter Feed Into Live Show, Sciences The Sh*t Out Of Movies
These New Hillary Ads Will Warm The Cockles Of Your Trump-Hatin' Heart
Donald Trump Thanks America For Liking Hillary Clinton Better Than Him
Sad Republicans Would Rather Campaign With Stinky George W. Bush Than That Mean Trump Boy
Sarah Palin Under Impression Somebody Asked Her Opinion On Orlando Shootings
Georgia Congressman Who Prayed For Gays To Die Not Sorry About That
Federal Judge Crams Syrian Refugee Kids Down Texas's Throat. Sorry, Syrian Refugee Kids!
Wonkette Ranks Hillary's VP Picks By Hotness, Because We're Shallow Like That
John McCain Furious Obama Shot Up Orlando, Created ISIS, Bought Last Bag Of Werther's Originals
How Can Donald Trump Cut Taxes When He Already Doesn't Pay Any?
Canada Shows Up USA Yet Again, Makes National Anthem Gender-Neutral
Let's Have A Donald Trump TV Network, Where Donald Trump Can Kiss Donald Trump's Ass On TV!
Mark Kelly And David Petraeus Started New Gun Safety Group Before Orlando. See? It Didn't Work!
Badass Wisconsin Congresslady Cracking Down On Rich Folks Who Use Tax Deductions To Buy Drugs
Fox News's Gretchen Carlson Very Sorry All You Gun Nuts Are Such Morons
British Member Of Parliament Jo Cox Murdered; American Gun Nuts Have A Good Larf
Anderson Cooper Still Ain't Got No Time For Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi's Bullsh*t
Second Amendment Nuts So Mad Bill O'Reilly Doesn't Want Them To Overthrow The Government
Tyrannical American Medical Association Calls Gunshot Wounds Unhealthy. Boycott Doctors!
Surprise! No One Wants The Brock Turner Judge On Their Sexual Assault Case!
Vodkagate Hack Exposes Democrat Plot To Accurately Describe Donald Trump
Donald Trump Loves The Gays So Much He Wants Them To Go Outside On This Nice Day
This Week Sucks. Let's Have A Really Gay Dance Party.
Orlando Imam's Message So Beautiful, Donald Trump Might Even Let Him Stay In America
Deleted Comments: Why Is Hillary Clinton Cutting Off Donald Trump's Head With Renaissance Art?
Orlando Killer's Dad Wishes Pulse Nightclub Wouldn't Have Been So Cheap About Hiring Security
Texas Republican Figures It's Cool To Screw The Gays Since Pulse Club Victims Were Just Hispanics
Hilarious Ladies Sharron Angle, Michele Fiore Both Lose Nevada Primaries. Wonkette Bereft.
Fox News's Gretchen Carlson Accidentally Forgot To Be Stupid Again
This Utah Republican Publicly Mourning Gay Orlando Victims Will Make You Ugly Cry
Donald Trump Did Not Say That Thing About American Soldiers That He Said
Senate Still Holding Up Vote On Obama's Anti-Terrorism Nominee, In Case You Were Wondering
Anderson Cooper Tells Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi To Sit Her Ass Down
Washington D.C. Primary Results Will Change EVERYTHING, You'll See
Hillary Clinton Shoves Donald Trump's Dumbass Terrorism Speech Right Back Down His Throat
Obama Says 'Radical Islam' Three Times In Terrorism Speech. Are All The Terrorists Dead Yet?
Short On Lunch Money? Alabama Elementary School Gives Kids A PBJ And A Shame Stamp
Orlando Shooter's Wife Maybe Knew All His Murderous Plans, So That's Just Great
Mental Health Professional Thinks Someone Programmed Him To Murder. Could It Be ... Satan???
Newt Gingrich Welcomes The Return Of The House Un-American Activities Committee!
Sounds Like Orlando Gay Club Shooter Was Raging Closet Case. Bet You Didn't See That Coming!
Come To Rio For Olympic Fever! The Kind That Leads To Death For Half Those Infected.
The Stupidest Man On The Internet's History Of Stupid Gay Stories: A Stupid Review
Let's Explore The Ways Donald J. Trump Is A Great Friend To The LGBT Community!
Donald Trump Explains Bigly Why Immigration Killed All Those Gay People In Florida
Look At These Amazing People Standing Up For Orlando. Look At Them.
LOL Hillary Clinton Might Beat Donald Trump In Utah
Stupidest Man On Internet Apparently Gay, Still Stupid
Only People Cheering Orlando Mass Murder Are Two Fundamentalist Christians
Let's Take A Breather And Treat Ourselves To The Whimsical Stylings Of Maureen Dowd, Oh Sweet Jesus
Hillary Clinton Gonna Ban Your Assault Weapons, Which Don't Exist And Must Be Protected
Erick Erickson Would Like To Ask You A Very Stupid Question About Terrorists And Guns
Donald Trump Thinks Barack Obama Is An Actual Muslim Terrorist, Better Nuke The White House
Are The Orlando Gay Club Shootings About You, Or Should You STFU? A Wonksplainer
Heavily Armed Guy On Way To Los Angeles Pride Parade Merely Violent Gun Nut, Not Scary Terrorist
Donald Trump Tries To Be Humble, And It's Worse Than You Thought
Loopy Sharron Angle Will Take Harry Reid's Senate Seat With Anime Porn: Your Senate Sunday
Official Wonkette Baby Commands You To Feel Less Sh*tty
50 Dead, 53 Injured After Orlando Gay Club Shooting, Because That's What Happens Now
DNC Chair Day Late And Dollar Short On Regulating Payday Lenders, Now Owes $300?
Barack Obama Can Slow-Jam Us ANY TIME. Your Weekly Top Ten.
Rapist Brock Turner Has A Mommy, And She Sure Seems Nice
Your Comment Of The Week Nails Gay Marriage Right In Its Butt
Tired Of Live Babies Getting Stabbed To Death After Abortions? READ THIS!
Trump's Favorite Clinton Fantasy Author Awfully Fond Of N-Word
Hillary Clinton Just Woman-Carded All Over Planned Parenthood, And It Was The Best
Baby Donald Trump Just Learning To Talk And Think At Same Time, Says Ben Carson
Ted Cruz Loves Constitution More Than Wife, Apparently
GOP Senator Just Saying He Hopes Sasha And Malia Obama's Dad Dies Real Soon
Elizabeth Warren Endorses Hillary, Because They're Both Corporate Sell-Out Monsters. Obviously.
Let's Watch Elizabeth Warren Give Donald Trump A Wedgie And Take His Lunch Money
USA Swimming Won't Let Rapey Brock Turner Swim Ever Again, What A Shame
Deadbeat Donald Trump: A Cheap Sociopath Who Doesn't Pay His Bills, Bet You Didn't See That Coming
Is Yr Wonkette The Mysterious Progressive Site With An Editor Who Secretly Loves Trump?
Donald Trump Thinks The Mafia Is Libeling That Nice, Safe, Healthy Asbestos. This Is A True Story.
Barack Obama Officially Bought And Paid For One-Percenter Neoliberal Corporate Oligarch Shill
Target Restroom Bombed, Police Unsure Whether It Was Trans Panic Or Your Mom
GOP Congressman Would Like To Do Some Texas Justice To Rapist Brock Turner. No, For Real.
There May Be Enough White Voters To Elect Donald Trump. But Are There Enough Complete Idiots?
Alabama Gay Marriage Judge Forced To Shove Gavel Up Haters' Asses. Again.
Washington National Cathedral Removing Confederate Stain From Glass Windows
Donald Trump's Racist Ex-Butler Pretty Sure Donald Trump Is Not A Racist, And He Would Know
Oh Whoops We Just Forced You To Buy This Shirt Of Hillary Clinton Cutting Off Trump's Head
Looks Like God Made An Honest Woman Out Of Bristol Palin LOL
Uh Oh, Rednecks Gotta Stomp Their Dixie Chicks CDs To Death Again. Your Weekly Dance Party!
Hey, Why Not Use A Horrible Baby Murderer To Scare Everyone About Trans People Pooping?
Mitt Romney Will Be GOP's Sexxxy Knight In Shining Armor! Or Scott Walker! Or Somebody!
Gordon Klingenschmitt Found Himself An Interracial Couple To Say Gay Marriage Is Yucky
Humanitarian Donald Trump Tried To Open A 'Homeless Shelter' To Drive Out Tenants. What a Guy!
Rapey Brock Turner's Lady Defender So Sad No One Wants To Listen To Her Band Now :(
Nancy Pelosi Just Cold Trollin' Paul Ryan Now, And Also She Hatin'
Wingnut Tea Party Jerk Renee Ellmers Loses Primary, Calls Woman Fat, Like You Do
My Vagina Voted Yesterday, And It Was Fantastic
Hillary Clinton History Woman Preznit US America, Bernie Sanders GRRRR ARGH
GOPers Determined To Shove Their Politically Correct Terms For 'Racist' Down Our Very Throats
Liveblogging Some Lady Named Hillary Making Speech About How She 'Won' Or Something
Congratulations, America! Our Long National Nightmare Of Presidential Primaries Is Almost Over!
Illinois Sen. Mark Kirk Is First Republican To Undorse Trump, Still Doomed In November
GOP Senator Says Be Sweet To Donald Trump, For He Is But A Tiny Suckling Infant
Donald Trump's African-American Not Actually Donald Trump's African-American
Let's Delve Into Paul Ryan's Fabulously Detailed Plan For A Better America!
Transgender-Hatin' School Board Begging Supreme Court To Kick Its Ass Now
Paul Ryan: Vote For The Racist!
Lindsey Graham Two Jameson Shots Away From Shrieking, 'I'm With Her, Y'all!'
Donald Trump Knows Who Broke The Glass Ceiling, And It Is History-Making Donald Trump
Florida A.G. Only Asked Trump For Money Before Dropping Trump University Suit. Is That So Wrong?
Pretend Smart Person Ben Stein Thinks Donald Trump's A Moron, Endorses Donald Trump
You'll Need A Cigarette After Watching Elizabeth Warren's Latest Donald Trump Nad-Stompin'
Chill American Family Association Dudes Just Want The Gays To Stop Banging *For Their Health*
This Day In History: Hillary Clinton Concedes To Obama. Is That Subtle Enough?
Associated Press Calls Democratic Primary For Hillary Clinton, Who Is Tyrant King Of You Now
'Pork Chop,' A Florida Gentleman
New Jersey Likes Indicted Senator Crook Man Better Than Chris Christie. Hmmmmm!
Obama About To Reveal Self As Bought-And-Paid-For Corporate Shillary For Hillary
Hillary Clinton, You Stop Murdering The Weird Dilbert Comics Guy RIGHT NOW!
Mitch McConnell Hides Under His Shell From Mean Words Like 'Racism' And 'Trump'
Rich People Can Be Dumb Mouth-Breathing Fox News Morans, Too
Is Obama Activating Million-Beyoncé Army To Make Him Dictator For Life? PROBABLY!
Buzzfeed All Like 'Ooooh We Have Ethics And Don't Want Your Gross Trump Money' Or Whatever
The Great And Also Racist Things We Learned From This Trump-Fan Subreddit
Texas A.G. Tells Former Investigator To Please Shut Up About Trump University Lawsuit, Please
Bill Kristol's Butt Buddy David French Not Running For President, What A Shame
Did Your Son Rape A Woman? We Mean 'Drink Excessively And Do Promiscuity To Her'?
Donald Trump Had A Very Bad Weekend
Presumably, Alex Radita's Parents Will Be Going To Jail
Deleted Comments Of The Week: A Dip Into The Archives... Of Dips
Despite Drought, Plenty Of Nuts Available In California Primary: Your Senate Sunday
McDonald's Determines Blind Man Does Not Deserve Fries With That
Feds Won't Let Polygamous Mormon Cult Have Child Brides OR Child Slaves? What Gives?
Conservatives Can't Even Call Obama A Monkey Anymore, Unfair! Your Weekly Top Ten
Comment Of The Week: What's Funny About Kansas?
Fox News Doc Wishes Facebook Loved America Instead Of Murder
Having Found Own Level, Dick Morris Now Sucking Toes At National Enquirer
Big Government Does Tyranny To Tea Party Job Creator, Busts Him For Medicaid Fraud
Trickster Demon Obama Takes Old Fart's Guns Away, By Not Taking Old Fart's Guns Away
Texas A.G. Dropped Suit Against Trump University. Trump Supported Him For Governor. Weird!
Gov. Nikki Haley Wishes Donald Trump Wouldn't Act So Ugly To The Minorities, Bless His Heart
Georgia ACLU Director Quits Job To Be A Transphobe, Wingnuts Declare Selves Absolved Of All Bigotry
Thin-Skinned Man-Baby Donald Trump Attempts To Respond To Hillary's Foreign Policy Speech
Donald Trump Yells More At Messican Judge In Trump University Suit, Forgets One Weird Trick
Hillary To America: I Am A Grown-Ass Adult, And Donald Trump Is A Idiot
Coquettish Paul Ryan Done Playing Hard To Get, Ready To Give His Heart To Trump
Not At All Scammy Video Defends Trump University, Which Was Definitely Not A Scam
Creationist Dickbag Sure Sorry That Sinful Slut Gorilla Had To Die
Newt Gingrich Wants America To Just Lie Back And Think Of Trumpland
Kansas Children! Get Educated, So You Can Haul Ass Out Of Kansas And Never Come Back!
You Knowed That Stuff Real Good, Donald Trump!
Fourth Circuit Court Of Appeals Tells Trans-Bashing Goons To F*ck Off. Again.
Hollywood Conservative Stacey Dash Being Not At All Grossly Transphobic And Sexist Again
RNC's Hispanic Media Relations Director Quits, Wonder Why!
Will Elite Jack-Booted Thugs Impose Martial Law To Stop Donald Trump? Jim Bakker Thinks So!
Greta Van Susteren Raging Mad NASA Won't Show Her Pretty Pictures Of Pluto RIGHT NOW
Kansas Prevents Thousands From Voting, Like Jesus Would Have Wanted
Ben Shapiro Making Trouser Starbursts Over Sexy New Candidate David French (Who?)
This Is Just A Really Great Cover Of 'Purple Rain.' Your Weekly Dance Party!
Sexxxy Barack Obama Throatcramming America With Gayness. Again!
Anti-Choicers Gonna Pray So Hard For All The Unfertilized Eggs Murdered By Whore Pills
Barack Obama About Ready To Jizzsplode All Over Campaign Trail
The Republican National Convention Is Going To Be Just So Gosh Darn Swell!
GOP Loves Troops So Much, Will Cut Troops' Housing Allowances
Why Did 'The Media' Investigate Trump's Veteran's Donations Instead Of Complimenting Him? UNFAIR!
Kansas Might Not Have Any Schools For Trans Folks To Terrorize This Fall, LOL WHOOPS
Employees Of Trump 'University' Say It Was High Pressure Sales Scam. Whaaaaaat????
Rush Limbaugh Explains How That Big Gorilla's Death Disproves Evolution, OBVIOUSLY
The Twelve Ways (LIKE APOSTLES!!!) We Are Persecuting Christians In The US of A
Who Does Leading Gun Humper Larry Pratt Want To Murder With Guns This Week?
Apparently Not Dead Dr. Dobson Wishes Some Real Men Would Shoot The Transgenders
Stay Up Late: It's A Thing To Do And The Name Of A Drink
North Korea Knows A Sexy Tyrant Daddy When It Sees One, Gets It Up For Donald Trump
Whom Did Hillary Clinton Threaten To Murder To Get Jerry Brown's Endorsement?
Glenn Beck Forgot To Tell People 'Don't Assassinate Donald Trump,' And Now He Is Suspended :(
NRA Suggests Decorating Your Child's Bedroom With Loaded Guns, For Convenience And Safety
Gay-Hatin' Alabama Chief Justice Reckons He Could Use Some Civil Rights Right About Now
Shooting Of Gorilla At Cincinnati Zoo Prompts Humans To Fling Poop At Other Humans
Ted Cruz Just Wants To Help GOP Senate Buddies But They're All Busy Washing Their Hair
You Know What The Bundy Gang Really Needed? A Stolen .50 Cal Machine Gun.
How Much Do You Wanna Hear A White Dude Rapping About Abortions And How Ladies Should Dress?
It Seems Like Donald Trump Might Not Be That Good At Business, But That Can't Be Right!
'I'm Not Racist, I Just Think Obama Is A Monkey,' Part 5,364,296,431,509,876,608
Never Wrong Bill Kristol Says Independent Candidate Will Challenge Trump, LOL OK We'll See
We Are Now, As Ever, At War With Eastasia. Happy Memorial Day From Yr Wonkette.
Deleted Comments: Our Libraries Are Full Of Pedophiles And Our Schools Full Of Jews!
Stop Being Ingrates About Needles Already: The Snake Oil Bulletin
Four Iowa Democrats Fight To Take Over Chuck Grassley's Twitter Account: Your Senate Sunday
At Least Your Boss Didn't Make You Spend Your Unpaid Sunday With Mitt Romney
Bundy Boys So Mad Jail Is So Much Like Jail. Your Weekly Top Ten
Surprise! Donald Trump Was A Horrible Garbage Monster To Marla Maples! Who Would Have Thunk It?
Michele Fiore At War With Pussy Nevada Cops Who Lack The Balls To Let Her Shoot Them
Fox Doc Keith Ablow Being A Jerk To All The Lazy, Potted-Up Millennials. That Is Wonkette's Job!
Walmart Knows Where It Wants Trans Folks To Make Toilet, But Shhhhhh, It's A Secret!
Trump Supporter Thrilled Trump Will Make America Great Again, For A-Holes
Obama Gives Thoughtful, Reflective Speech In Hiroshima, Wingnuts Be Damned
Louie Gohmert Pretty Sure Space-Queers Wouldn't Be Very Good At Saving Humanity
Achtung! A Note About Your Wonkette And This Summer's Conventions!
Donald Trump Knows Less About Energy Than Sarah Palin Does. Let That Sink In
Bill O'Reilly So Sad No One Will Talk About The Murderous Blacks
Little Marco Rubio Finally Ready To Put Out For Trump
Reasonable Moderate John Kasich Will Charge You To Vote, If It's An 'Emergency'
Congresslady Calling Ignorant Bigot An 'Ignorant Bigot' Is Best Thing You'll See All Day
Barack Obama's Excellent South Asian Vacation!
Joke's On You, American Workers! $15 An Hour Still Won't Cover The Rent Pretty Much Anywhere!
Secret Muslim Barack Obama's New House Is Near A Mosque, And The Daily Caller Is ON IT
Trump's Top Christian Dude Stopped A Tsunami By Yelling At It One Time, No Lie
'Pro-Life' Asswipes Are Inside Your iPhone, Begging You Not To 'Bort Your Baby
Trump Advisor: Donald's VP Has To Be A White Guy Because Affirmative Action
Shrieking Meth-Banshee Michelle Malkin Makes Angry List Of All The Boobies She's Seen Lately
Donald Trump Lies About Donations To Vets' Charities, Will Debate Bernie Sanders 'For Charity'
Fella Who Kept Teen Shackled In Basement Simply APPALLED By Target's Bathroom Policy
Bill Clinton Debates Brody For Half An Hour In A Diner. Classic Bill Clinton! Classic Brody!
HuffPo 'Experimental Journalism' Thing Breaks Our Brain, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow!
Attorney General Loretta Lynch 'Bout To Have To Smack A Bunch More States Upside Their Heads
Hillary's Veep Revealed, And It Is Beyoncé! Your Weekly Dance Party
Transphobic Target Lady Is Here To Yell At Teenz About All Their Bathroom Sex And MTV
Washingtonian Mag: Can't Barack Obama Just, Like, Ride To The AirBnB On His Fixie?
CONFIRMED: Hillary Is Sleaziest Email Criminal Since Colin Powell
Bernie Lovers and Trumpkins Find Sexytime in Cyberspace
Republicans Love Unborn Babies So Much, They Will Give Them All Zika Virus To Spite Obama
Hawaii Gonna Grab All Your Guns And Put Them In FEMA Camps
Ryan Bundy Doesn't Understand Why He Can't Have His Guns. In Jail.
Gawker Suer/Trumpkin/Libertarian Peter Thiel Is Kindest, Warmest, Most Wonderful Human Be
Washington State's Weird Primary/Caucus System Is Bad And Washington Should Feel Bad
Now Texas Schoolkids Will NEVER Learn What A Coked-Up Gay Whore Obama Is, Unfair!
Beautiful Warrior Goddess Elizabeth Warren Tore Trump A New One, And Lo, It Was Good
Every Word Of Paul Ryan's Thoughtful, Sober, Bipartisan New Ad Is A Hilarious Lie
Salon Publishes A Million More Words On Why Trump's Balls Are Much More Delicious Than Hillary's
Dead Breitbart Appalled By Hillary Staffer's Dirty F*cking Potty Mouth
Bill Cosby May Be Eating Puddin' Pops In Prison For Next 10 To 30 Years
Now Bernie Sanders Trying To Steal Kentucky, JUST KIDDING, JESUS
Memphis Principal Biblesplains Jerkoff Racist White Guy (But In A Good Way)
House Republicans Love Their Treason Flags, For Some Reason Will Not Comment As To Why
Black Middle-Schooler Charged With 'Stealing' Free Milk From Lunch Line, For Some Reason
Bill O'Reilly's Falafel Thingie Distressed By All The Dicks In The Girls' Locker Room
Veterans Secretary Thinks V.A. Wait Times Are A Walk In The Theme Park
In Charming Seasonal Ritual, FBI Investigates Virginia Governor. No, The New Guy
Ken Starr Loves Bill Clinton Now, What Is Even Going On Here?
Oh Great, Taylor Swift Is Literally Hitler Now
Trump Brings Back 1993 Vince Foster Suicide Conspiracies, Toe Rings Not Far Behind
David Brooks Thinks Hillary Clinton Needs A Hobby
America's Best Husband Bill O'Reilly Sues Faithless Cheating Monster Of An Ex-Wife
Supreme Court Rules Prosecutors Must Hide Racism More Effectively In Death Penalty Cases
Trump And Gingrich Totally Understand Women, Just Like Beloved Monarch Henry VIII
James O'Keefe's Shoddy George Soros Spywork Even Lamer Than We'd Imagined
Trump Building Walls In Ireland Too
Is Lindsey Graham Falling For Donald Trump In Spite Of Himself?
Austrian Neo-Nazi Loses Election, Breitbart Sad
Donald Trump Loves The Latinas
Possible Murderer John McAfee's Presidential Campaign Ad Deeply Crazy, As Is John McAfee
Ted Nugent, Tired Of Threatening Hillary Clinton, Would Like Bernie Sanders To Die Now Please
Illuminati Using Britney Spears To Turn Your Daughters Into Prostitutes, Says Reasonable Human
Why Is Paul Krugman Being Super Gross And Sexist About Hillary Clinton?
Barack Obama Tells You A Thing He Knows About The Negro And The Oriental
Sexy Tennessee Pastors Just Wanted To Sex Up Some Underage Girls, Is That So Wrong
Bernie Sanders Endorses Debbie Wasserman Schultz's Hot Opponent. Weird, So Does Wonkette!
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Oh God, Not Another Hillary-Bernie Thread!
Come Get Your Jesus-Friendly Beatin' Sticks For Your Babies! Or Don't Do That.
Rightwing Senator Isakson Maybe Not Insane Enough For Georgia. Your Senate Sunday!
Poor Exxon Finds Congressional White Knight To Take On Government Bullies
Mary Fallin Personally Aborts All The Little Children In Oklahoma, Will Never Be Trump's Veep Now :(
Well, The Democratic Primary Sure Did Get TESTY This Week! Your Weekly Top Ten
Kansas Anti-Choicers Demand To Know Where Lawmakers Stand On Human-Animal Hybrids
Water Is Wet, Nickelback Sucks, NRA Endorses Donald Trump
Wonkette's Favorite Half-Nutso Louisiana Cop Running For Congress, Hooray!
Newt Gingrich Wants To Test Airport Workers To See If They've Come Down With The Sharia
Aw Look, Oklahoma Is Impeaching President Obama. How Adorable!
Wisconsin Lutheran School Loves Free Government Cash, Hates Gays. What A Pickle!
Old Bob Bennett's Dying Wish: Find Me Some Muslims To Apologize To For Trump
Trump Snatches Oreos From Chris Christie's Slavering Maw
House Republicans Bone The Gays While Democrats Squeal In Outrage. Typical Day In Congress.
James O'Keefe Steps On Own Dick, Declares Flawless Victory Over George Soros
Iowa Rep. Steve King Worried Transgenders Will Make Ladies' Armpits All Gross And Sweaty
Sen. Tom Cotton Dreams Of An America With Even More People In Prison
If Ann Coulter Has To Hear About The Jews One More Effing Time ...
Pat Robertson Would Like To Starve All The Drug Addicts To Death, Just Like Jesus Would Have
Fox News Jackass So Excited About EgyptAir Crash, Because It's GREAT News For Trump
Oklahoma Lege Passes Bill Banning Abor ... Wait, Abortion Was Still Legal In Oklahoma?
Louisiana Lawmakers Can't Stop Laughing About Naked Stripper Boobies
Trump Plays Fantasy SCOTUSball, Picks Judge Who Hates Him
Trump Surrogate: Mexico Border Wall Actually Just Donald Trump's Imaginary Friend
Nice DC Security Guard Arrested Just For Roughing Up Trans Lady In The Bathroom, Unfair!
Christian Charity Dude Really Neeeeeeded $475K In Stolen Donations For 'Sex Addiction'
Hero Nerd Stands Up For Right Not To Review Stupid Lady Ghostbusters Movie
Your New Hottest Exotic European Mayor Is Sexxxiest Guy Named 'Carl' Ever To Live
Child Murderer George Zimmerman Has Thoughts On Parenting. They Are Ugly Thoughts
Target Doesn't Need None Of You Dumb Bigots' Business, So BYE FELICIA
Feds Desegregate Schools In Mississippi Town Time Forgot
Badass Trans Lady Rock Star Burns Birth Certificate In North Carolina. Guess She Had To Pee.
Pennsylvania Democrat Ed Rendell: Ugly Chicks, Amirite?
Trey Gowdy Accidentally Admits Hillary Clinton Didn't Benghazi Anyone (Except Vince Foster)
Holy Crap!: Magic Florida Baby Sends Beautiful Sign From Jesus, From His Butt
Idaho's Goofiest Lawmaker, Super Christian Sheryl Nuxoll, Loses Republican Primary. Bye!
Congress Surrenders U.S. Army To Known Homosexual, Thanks Obama!
Nice Grandpa Bernie Sanders Gonna BURN YOUR SH*T DOWWWWWN
Are The Duggar Girls Planning Their Pregnancies Like Common Regular-Amount-Of-Children Hoors?
Glenn Beck Fails To Drown Total Muslim Grover Norquist In Bathtub
Melania Trump Not Boning Hitler, She PROMISES
Sen. James Inhofe Wishes Transgender Folk Would Stop Peeing All Over His Neck
WaPo's Jennifer Rubin Breaks Up With Abusive Dumb Nightmare Boyfriend, The GOP
Kentucky And Oregon Voting Today, Because Oh My God This Primary Will Never End
Donald Trump Very Sad You Nasty People Keep Using His Words To Misquote Him
Dilbert Guy Scott Adams Knows Sexy, And Donald Trump Is One Sexy Mofo
Hispanic Voter El Jeb Bush Appalled By Donald Trump's Cinco de Mayo Racisms!
Alex Jones: Michelle Obama Murdered Joan Rivers So She Wouldn't Tell Anyone About Her Dick
Obscure Congressional Candidate Shares Porn Habits With World, Finally Gets Noticed
Trump Bros Who Beat Up Homeless Hispanic Guy Going To Prison, How Is That Even Fair?
Marco Rubio Is Sick Of Your Nonsense. Marco Rubio Is Sick Of Your Nonsense. Marco Rubio Is
Trans Panicked Lady Yells At Short-Haired Gal In Walmart Restroom, Saves America
Olive Garden Parent Company Darden Finds Exciting New Way To Screw Your Server
Gather Round, For Breitbart's David Horowitz Is To Tell Us All About Blackness
Ted Cruz’s Stupid Face Punchable Even When He’s Crying
Cuddly, Fresh-Faced White Supremacist Will Make Montana Great Again, Yes Siree
Cry All You Want, This Handsome Fella Will NOT Be Buying You Sluts Any Drinks!
Does Hillary Clinton Love Christina Aguilera's Booby Knockers More Than She Loves America?
Ohio School 'Science' Video Made By Weirdo Islamic Sex-Fiend Creationist. Wonkette Torn.
The 5 Best Times Obama Called Everybody A Dumbass In His Rutgers Commencement Speech
Franklin Graham Thinks We're Gonna Shoot His Followers For Being Bigots, Like We Have Time For That
Breitbart With The Important Question: Who Is A Jew?
Crazy Christian Lady Sick And Tired Of Satan Raping Her Babies At Target
Unifier Donald Trump Will Nuke Our 'Special Relationship' With Britain From Orbit
Hillary Bros, Really, Please Do Not Slap A Lady
Poor Sad Old Bill Kristol To Go To His Grave Whispering #NeverTrump
'American Thinker' Calls Up Reserve Pitcher To Write Penthouse Forum Letter To Donald Trump
Get Ready For Your Closeup, Fraudulent Quacky Anti-Vaxx Doctor Guy! Your Snake Oil Bulletin
It's Sexy Trump Anime Furry Cosplay Time! Awwww Yeahhhh!
Bernie Sanders Fans Take Massive Dump On Nevada Democratic Convention Floor
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Authentic Frontier ALL-CAPS Gibberish
Senate Sunday: Colorado Republicans Go Do Some Election-Fraud Crimes!
Cool Down From Your Next Payless-Shoe-Fire With A Frosty Mug Of America
Hey Hillary Clinton Could You Pick Sarah Palin For Veep? That'd Be Great, Thanks
Remember When Elizabeth Warren Literally Murdered Donald Trump On The Twitter? Your Weekly Top Ten
Comment Of The Week: Get Ready For Your #DadPun, America!
Roger Stone Ready For Hillary's Death Squads, Thanks To Alex Jones's Trucker Speed!
Stoners Do Good, Save All The Homelesses In Colorado With Their Pot Tax Dollars
Weedlord Bonerhitler PWNS!!!1! George Zimmerman's Dumb Murder Weapon Auction
Canada To Send All Its Anti-Vaccine Idiots To Re-Education Camps. Bye Anti-Vaxxers, Byeeeee!
Donald Trump Goes Back To The '70s With His Exciting New Enemies List!
I Don't Know How To Tell You This, But Donald Trump Might Have Said Something Untrue
Walmart Discovers Exciting New Way To Suck Off Your Tax Dollars!
Mississippi Governor Tired Of You Discriminating Against His Shiny New Jim Crow Laws For Homos
Politico Writes Dumb Thing About Elizabeth Warren. Shall We Read It, Together?
Obama Administration Tells Schools To Treat Trans Kids Like People, Furor And Whining To Ensue
House Lawsuit Makes Obamacare Worse, Just Like They Wanted. Hooray!
Creationist Homeschool Mom So Oppressed By Porn-Loving Librarians She Wrote A Book About It!
Donald Trump's Sweet Old Butler Miiiiight Be Kind Of Racist, You Guys
God Sends Grifty Jim Bakker Lamest Possible Prophecy: An Event Will Happen Soon!
Dem On Dem Violence! Harry Reid Wants To Drown Alan Grayson In A Bathtub
Donald Trump, Paul Ryan Is Not That Kind Of Girl!
George Zimmerman Can't Auction Off His Child-Murdering Gun Now, RIP America
Worst Restaurant Customers Ever Start Brawl Over Employee Smiling At Them
Germany Just Rubbing Our Dumb American Faces In It Now, All 'Oh We Are So Good At Gay Rights'
We Went To A Montana Bernie Sanders Rally, And All We Saw Were Our Ripped-Off T-Shirts
Former Dumbest Person Alive Dan Quayle Is BACK, Says Trump Is A Winning Winner Because He Wins
Trump Glad He Called John McCain A Loser, Everything Was Beautiful And His Polls Went Up
Child Murderer George Zimmerman Would Like To Remind You He Murdered A Child
Donald Trump Was Just Screwin' Around When He Called For Muslim Ban, Y'all
No Big, Poultry Workers Just Have To Wear Diapers Because No Bathroom Breaks Allowed
Let's Queen Out To 'Wicked' Like The Theater Queens We Are. Your Weekly Dance Party!
Newt Gingrich Just Knows That Pussy Obama's Gonna Say 'Sorry' To Japan For Pearl Harbor
Responsible Gun Owner Ted Nugent Thinks It'd Be Just Nifty If Hillary Got Shot
New #NeverTrump Plan To Stop Donald Trump Is BRB CAN'T STOP GIGGLING
Obama's Gay Army Secretary Nominee On Hold, Because Sen. Pat Roberts Is Being A Dick
Big Oil Gives Up On Drilling In Arctic, Loses Billions. Sucks To Be You, Big Oil!
NC School District To Let Kids Pepper Spray Scary Trans Students In The Potty, Why Not?
Surprise! Banning Tipping Doesn't Work. Could There Be Another Solution Entirely?
Fox News Jizz-Brains Wish Facebook Was More Fair And Balanced, Like Fox News
Cliven Bundy Lawsuit Against Obama Demands $50 Million, Get Out Of Jail Free Card, And A Pony
Donald Trump Has Had Just About Enough Of Hillary Clinton Raping All These Women!
West Virginia And Nebraska Have Primaries Tonight, If Those Are Even Real States
Phil Robertson Dumbfounded You Idiots Are Mistaking His 'Common Sense' For 'Bigotry'
Ted Cruz Willing To Get Back Into America's Pants If Nebraska Asks Him Nicely Enough
PSA: Bernie Supporters, Please Don't Let This Internet Meme Murder You Dead
Is That A Dick In Michele Fiore's Cop Boyfriend's Pocket, Or Is He Going To Shoot Her?
Arkansas Perv Judge Resigns To Spend More Time Sex-Spanking White Boys, Probably
Trump Spokespiece Katrina Pierson Says It Is Super Cool And Not Sexist To Call Women Bimbos
New London Mayor Not Interested In Being Donald Trump's Token Muslim BFF For Some Reason
New York Mayor Bill De Blasio Suggests Not Cramming Your Throat With Gay-Hatin' Chick-Fil-A
Paul Ryan Doesn't Need To Be Republican Convention Chair. Doesn't Need Anything But This Lamp
Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Suspended For 'Bad At Law.' Here Is A Sexxx Song About Him!
Todd Starnes Has Pee On His Mind Again
Arkansas Gentleman In Jail Just For Loving Bible Too Much, Threatening To Kill Seven Mayors
Attorney General Loretta Lynch So Excited About Kicking North Carolina In The Ass!
No More Arranged Marriage Camp 4 Christian Teenz, 12-Year-Old Spinsters Weep
London Has A New Muslim Mayor, And The Stupidest Man On The Internet Is ON IT!
Crazy Monster Drink Lady Hopes You Appreciate How Much Your Mom Loves Dick
PJ O'Rourke Hopes To Do For Donald Trump What He Did To National Lampoon
Did Maine Gov. Paul LePage Steal A Lady's Dog? We Are Just Asking Questions!
North Carolina Sues Obama Over God-Given Right To Fiddle Around Inside Your Pants
Donald Trump Might Have To Shoot Paul Ryan In The Middle Of 5th Avenue
Facebook Totally Censoring Conservative News Outlets, Just Because They Are Full Of Lies :(
Monday Morning Cringefest: The Best 'Illuminati Killed Michael Jackson' Video Ever
Former Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer Has A Message To Share, And It Is #BrosBeforeHos
Sarah Palin Endorses Paul Ryan's Primary Opponent For Maximum Comedic Effect
Science News! Planet Mercury Doing Cool Thing Today. Go Watch It On The Internet!
Deleted Comments: Wingnuts Have ONE Joke About Elizabeth Warren. Guess What It Is? Guess!
Shove Herbs Up Your Butt For Cancer: The Snake Oil Bulletin
Donald Trump Suddenly Part Of Arkansas Senate Race, Maybe
Elizabeth Warren Literally Shreds Donald Trump, Sets Shreds Aflame, Stomps On Ashes
We For One Welcome Our New Lyft Robot Car Overlords
Make Your Mother This Pineapple Upside-Down Cake And Cocktail
Let's Talk About Salon's Flaming, Half-Masticated Dick Some More. Your Weekly Top Ten!
Comment Of The Week: Donald Trump Has Your Cinco De Mayo Vindaloo
Missouri Just Wants Rape Victims To Be #Blessed With Beautiful Gift Of Forced Pregnancy
Camille Paglia Has Had It UP TO HERE With Hillary's Gross Wormwood Tits
Montana School Gets Black Student, Morons Get Racist, School Bans Confederate Flags
The Only Thing Donald Trump Will Recycle Is This Hilarious Bit About Newfangled Hairspray
FBI Obviously In The Tank For Dirty Email Criminal Hillary Clinton
Donald Trump Doesn't See Why Death Threats To Terrible Journalist Are Such A Big Deal
Wonk Fave Gordon Klingenschmitt Wants The Gays To Stop Porking On Your Living Room Couch
Donald Trump And Paul Ryan, Will You Two Please Just Have Sex And Get It Over With?
Looks Like Donald Trump Is Bad At 'Economy.' Huh!
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Would Like To Be President Trump's Secretary Of Dickishness
Bundy Militia Dumbass Sorry For Being Dumbass, He Can Go Home Now?
Christlike Tow-Truck Driver Leaves Disabled Bernie Supporter On Side Of The Road
Donald Trump's Cinco de Mayo Message Less Authentically Mexican Than '¡Yo Quiero Taco Bell!'
Bundy Militia Mom Oppressed By Big Government Just Because She Beat Her Kids A Little
Dumb Alabama Town Decides Not To Jail Transgenders For Pooping At Their Local Target
Hillary Clinton Ads Just A Bunch Of Clips Of Donald Trump Schlonging Himself In The Mouth
Ooh! Wanna Send Your Teens To Arranged Marriage Camp With Some Quiverfull Duggar Types?
Donald Trump To Start Getting CIA Security Briefings. That Should Be Fun!
North Carolina Republicans Furious Obama Won't Let Them Peek Inside People's Panties
Chris Matthews Can't Stop Staring At Melania Trump, Will Be In His Bunk
Disgusting Pregnant Belly Just Not A Part Of Fancy Dolce & Gabbana Make-Up Counter Look
Alex Jones Auditions To Be Trump's White House Press Secretary With Very Sane Revolution Rant
Why Are They Letting Former Senator Scott Brown Say Dick About Elizabeth Warren?
Maybe Don't Stiff Your Server Because You're Mad About Apartheid
Barack Obama Goes To Flint, Promises To Lay Some Pipe
Oh Hey, Did You Hear There's New Radiohead? Your Weekly Wonkette Dance Party
Hot-Ass Justin Trudeau Can't Stop Making Sexxx Eyes At Foreign Princes
'Jill And Jessa: Counting On' Finale: Our Long National Nightmare Is Over At Last
Fox News Guy Kicked Off Air Just For Gettin' A Little Strange
John Kasich Doing Something Today Too, We Dunno, We Weren't Listening
Sad Red State Dude: Confirm Merrick Garland Before Hillary Nominates Ghost Che Guevara
RIP Ted Cruz, For Now You Are Dead. A Wonkette Post-Mortem!
Sarah Palin Invites 'Smart Democrats' To Partake Of Her World-Famous Word Salad! (And Trump)
Let Us Drink The Delicious Tears Of The #NeverTrump Brigades
Wendy's Now Serving Frostees With Complimentary Side Of Razor Blades
Jehovah's Witnesses Will Learn You How To Be The Cutest Lil' Homophobe EVER
Supreme Court Tells McDonald's To Shut Its Mac-Hole About Seattle's $15 Minimum Wage
John McCain's Son Has Thing Or Two To Say To Gross Internet Racists
Never Wrong Bill Kristol Will Never Say Never About Donald Trump
Ted Cruz Drops Out Of Campaign To Spend More Time Being Hated By Own Family
Indiana Primary Sexxxing Up Democracy Right Now, For America
Wow! This Lady Going Berserk On A Random Stranger For Being On Food Stamps Sure Is Classy!
Texas Sheriff Lady Fights Tyranny By Intimidatin' Gross Democrat And Latino Voters
Wonder What Donald Trump And Clinton Conspiracy Loon Ed Klein Chatted About Over Lunch
Something Good Happened For Gays In Mississippi, Even Though That Is UNPOSSIBLE
Gov. Rick Scott Offers California Businesses Cheap-Ass Florida Workers At Bargain Basement Prices
Donald Trump Doesn't Know If Ted Cruz's Dry Drunk Dad Murdered JFK, But MAYBE!
Maine Legislature Tells Gov. Paul LePage To F*ck Himself Right In The Ear
Let's Have Dumb Old Kirk Cameron Tell Us How To Romance Our Christian Wives
'Pick-Up Artist' Roosh V Deprived Of Suitable Wife By Worldwide Conspiracy To Educate Women
Starbucks Shocks America, Breaks Streak Of Phenomenal Stupidity On Race Issues
Some Might Call It Suicide By Cop. Idiot Nevada Lawmaker Michele Fiore Calls It 'Liberty'
Fox News Blonde So Mad Larry Wilmore Gets To Say N-Word And White People Don't
Heidi Cruz: Ted Isn't The Zodiac Killer, He's A Very Naughty Boy
Brave Anti-Gay Dudes Hanging Out In Target Lady Bathrooms, For The Kids
Antarctica Set To Drown Louisiana Dead By 2100, So There's A Good Reason To Drink
Poor Forgotten Jim Gilmore (Who?) Can't Even Be GOP Convention Delegate, Awwww
Donald Trump Weeping Crocodile Tears For 'The Indians' Hillary Clinton Offended
Ted Cruz's Grubby, Foreign-Born Hands Feeling Spanky Again
Donald Trump: Has Hillary Clinton Ever Even Made A Scottish Golf Course Or Chinese Ties?
Donald Trump Takes Firm Stand Against China Raping Us (Because That Is Mexico's Job)
DRUDGE SIREN AND FAINTING COUCH: Some Mexican Kids Said Some Cuss Words
Monday Morning Cringefest: Behold, The Horror Of 'The Conscious Man'
Fox Lickspittle Jesse Watters And HuffPo Reporter Slapfight Over Srs Journalism
Ted Cruz Fails To Convince Disabled Man's Family That Obamacare Is Terrible
Here Is Your Horrifying Story Of Sleazy Texas Dentists Preying Upon Low-Income Children
History's Greatest Love Affair: Donald Trump and Geraldo Rivera
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Watch Fox And Free Yourself From Propaganda
Terrible Canadian Parents Guilty Of Natural Remedying Toddler To Death
How Gross Were Dole's Salad Products And When Did Dole Know About The Gross?
Barack Obama Kills Final White House Correspondents' Dinner To Death, In Style
Prepare To Be Amused! It's Your White House Correspondents' Dinner Open Thread!
OH HEY, Yet Another KKK Imperial Wizard Endorsed Donald Trump
Derp Roundup: Andrea Tantaros Does Bondage!
Bundy Boys Or Bristol Palin, Who Is The Dumbest? Your Weekly Top Ten
Freedom Loving Tween Band Wants To Raise ONE MILLION DOLLARS To Send Anti-Trump Celebs To Canada
Toddlers Murdering Selves At Alarming Rate, No End To Rampage In Sight
Pentagon Officially Sick Of Your Benghazi Sh*t
After GQ Profile Of Melania Trump, Fans Send Writer Amusing Auschwitz Pics, Death Threats
This Pastor Wants To Show You His Penis At Target To Prove Other People Are Predators
Dear Salon, Set Your Dick On Fire And Eat It
Meghan McCain Springs Lady Boner Over How Sexxxy Carly Fiorina 'Warms Up' Ted Cruz
Angry White Man Bobby Knight Can't Wait For Donald Trump To Nuke Em All, Let Allah Sort Em Out
Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Wishes Godless Gaywads Would Stop Pickin' On Him
Donald Trump Will Lead 'Smart Movement'. That's It. That's The Joke.
New York Post Accidentally Runs Salon Column, Calls For 'Me-Ternity Leave,' Get It?
Maybe *This* Is Why Everybody Hates Ted Cruz!
Bigot Tennessee Therapists Can't Wait To Screw The Gays For Jesus
Substitute Fired For Saying Georgia O'Keeffe Vaginas Look Like Flowers
Donald Trump Sad He Can't Play Fancy Woman Card™, Hypnotize Voters With His Vagina
McCain Fundraiser Nabbed In Meth-Lab Bust. This Is Excellent News For John McCain!
Lying Liar Carly Fiorina Already Lying For 'Running Mate' Ted Cruz
Oklahoma Court Just Fine With Oral Rape, As Long As Victim's Really, Really Drunk
Supreme Court: Isn't That $175,000 Bribe Really Just $175,000 'Speech'?
Pity John Boehner Won't Say What He Really Thinks About Ted Cruz
California Bars And Restaurants Doin' Racial Profiling Like They've Turned Into Texas
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Flees University Building Dedication In Epic Snit
'Journalist' James O'Keefe 'Pretends' To Be Bathroom Sex Pervert
Mr. Tuff Guy Sen. Tom Cotton Didn't Drink Gay Sparkle Water When He Was At 'Army'
Let's Dance With Prince One More Time. Your Weekly Wonkette Dance Party
Ted Cruz Reminds 'Running Mate' Carly Fiorina People Think She Is Ugly :(
Speaker Paul Ryan Finally Letting Donald Trump Have His Way With Him
Is Ted Cruz Giving Us A New Mommy, America?
Donald Trump Gives Serious Foreign Policy Speech Like A Big Boy
Delicate Flower Donald Trump Has The Vapours From Hillary Clinton's Unladylike Shouting
Exciting NRA Ad: Hollywood Elitists Want To Take Your Guns, Laugh When You Die
Denny Hastert Going To Actual-Factual Prison For Covering Up How He Molested All The Boys
'Jill And Jessa' Duggar Aired The Birth Of Squashy Spurgeon And We Wish We Had No Eyes
OMG BEYONCÉ, STOP LITERALLY EATING THE BRAINS OF CHILDREN!
Inbred Alabama Hicks Can't Even Spell Why They Hate Transgenders So Much
Celebrate The Feast Day Of St. Zita, Patron Saint Of Servers, By Flipping Off A Customer
Ammon Bundy's Legal Defense Exactly As Sane As Every Other Bundy Legal Theory
Study Finds Higher Minimum Wage Does Not Destroy Economy, Wingnuts Gon' Be SO Mad
This Is The Guy Who Wants To Keep North Carolina 'Straight'
After Primary Wins, Trump Declares Self Nominee, President, God-Emperor Of Dune
It's Super Tuesday Again! (For The Eleventy-Millionth Damn Time)
Who Is The Worse Spousal Campaign Surrogate, Jane Sanders Or Bill Clinton?
Stupid Racist Trump Wannabes Making Their Own Gloriously Stupid And Racist Campaign Ads
Ben Carson So Mad Obama Sold Harriet Tubman Into Slavery Again
O'Reilly Henchbro Jesse Watters Totally Tricks Millennials Into Saying Fairly Reasonable Things
'Fox & Friends' Jackholes Know Who Will Pick The Next President And It Is Jesus
Bill Cosby Fails To Sedate Appeals Court
Customer Wins $12,000 Judgment Against Steakhouse, Errybody Wants Us To Shout About It
Lawyer Sues Over $2.25 Cup Of Soup, Because Sure Why Not
Sara Benincasa's 'Real Artists Have Day Jobs' Comprises Many Chapters, Words. Buy Her Book!
Colorado Supreme Court Tells Gay-Hatin' Baker To Go Choke On Some Cake Batter
DRUDGE SIRENS! Beyoncé Murdering White America For The CIA!
Tamir Rice's Family Gets $6 Million Settlement, Not Their Kid Back
Texan Input On Renaming 'Robert E. Lee' School Goes About As Well As You'd Expect
Fox News Morons So Scared Of Taking A Dump At Target
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Wishes Indians Would Talk Gooder Like
Texas School Board Candidate Pretty Sure Pre-K Turns Kids Into Little Gay Whores
Gal Who Looks Like Ted Cruz Will Do Porno For $10K; You Can Not Watch It For Free
Jim Webb Feeling Mighty Stabby About These Goldurned Injun-Lovin' Andrew Jackson Haters
Best Pals Ted Cruz And John Kasich Will Use Buddy System To Defeat Donald Trump
Austria Considering Far Right President, Because You Know Who Else Hated Immigrants?
Mississippi's Bill To Allow Divorce For Domestic Violence Accidentally Walks Into The Door
Stories Of Truly Fantastic Restaurant Bosses
Bundy Buddies Added Dicks To Indian Petroglyphs. Not A Dick Joke Wonkette Can Get Behind
This Preacher Is Pretty Sure Sex With A Snake Will Make You Homeless Or Something
Gross Tom Delay Writes Gross Letter In Support Of Super-Gross Dennis Hastert
Deleted Comments: Wonkette's In Bed With Trump / Hillary / That Sexy Icelandic Guy!
Ohio Gets Second Chance To Make First Impression In Portman-Strickland Senate Deathmatch
Snake Oil Bulletin: No Quacks for Old Men
What Airline Let A Teen Get Molested On Its Plane Like It's No Big Deal This Time?
Utah Republican Wishes Porn Would Stop Forcing Utah Republican To Watch Porn
Wonkette Is World Famous In Iceland! Your Weekly Top Ten
In Wonket's Commenting Prizes, Everyone's A Winner, Except The Losers
Big Surprise: Bundy Militia Dildo Bros Loved To Intimidate Local Sheriffs
CNN Steps On Own Dick, Wonders If Prince's Death Is Good News For Trump And Hillary
Extremely Disturbed Time Traveler Walks Fourth Dimension To Seek Out Arby's 'Food'
How Can You Trust Donald Trump If He Won't Even Put Trans People IN JAIL?
Treasury Putting Black People And Women All Over Our Money, America Fails To Freak Out
Wonkette Nominates Sarah Palin To Be Donald Trump's Drunk-Ass Speechwriter
Sexxxy Richard Branson Says UN Should Drop Drug Policy Of 'Keep Hitting Yourself'
Ocean About To Run Out Of Bluefin Tuna, Life Not Worth Living Any More
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Explains Death Is Most Effective Overdose Treatment
Bristol Palin Knows Who Has A Penis And Who Has A Vagina
Phyllis Schlafly Says Michele Bachmann Too Stupid To Be New Phyllis Schlafly
Wolf Blitzer's Favorite Prince Songs, Ranked
John Kasich Opposes D.C. Statehood Because, Ew, There Are Democrats There
Did A Transgender Try To Watch Pat Robertson Poop?
Louisiana Prosecutor Helped Lady Defendants Out Of Criminal Charges, Clothes
Can You Hack Up Words As Stupid As Camille Paglia? A Contest!
Trump Advisor Worried Native Americans Might Get The Bomb And Nuke Montana
Donald Trump Doesn't Care Where You Pee, As Long As Your Stream Is TREMENDOUS
Disney Is Trying To Turn Your Daughters So Lezzy
Reader Challenge: What Rhymes With 'Bag Of Salted Rat Dicks'?
A Children's Treasury Of Wingnut Reactions To Harriet Tubman On The $20 Bill
Alabama Legislators Cleverly Devise Foolproof Plan To Ban All The Abortions
Tupac Returns From Dead To Talk Smack About Greedy-Ass Donald Trump
Harriet Tubman To Grace New $20 Bill, Because Suck It Andrew Jackson
Three Officials Not Named 'Rick Snyder' Charged For Turning Flint's Water To Poison
Fancy Branson Road Tripping With The Duggars On This Week's 'Jill And Jessa'
Can We All Stop Making Up Fake Cake Fag Stories? That'd Be Great
Elizabeth Warren Doesn't Seem To Like That Ted Cruz Boy Very Much
Icelandic Media Wants Us To Know Reykjavik Mayor Is NOT Just Big Dick, Pretty Face
Study Finds Tipping Actually Helps Servers, Is Only Half-Stupid
Ben Carson Beats Ted Cruz With Both Eyeballs Tied Behind His Back (Because He Is Sleeping)
Radical Liberal Judges Affirm Bizarre Transgender Pooping Rituals
Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Says Flint's Poison Water Is MMM MMM GOOD!
Let's Watch Bernie, Hillary And Trump Make History In The New York Primary!
Fine-Ass Reykjavik Mayor Is Your New Political Sexxx Fantasy Of The Week
Bill O'Reilly Doubles Down On All Those Blacks With Their Tattooed Foreheads
Trump Guy Has This One Weird Trick To Ratf*ck All The Republican Delegates
Ted Cruz Narrowly Escapes Jaws Of Muslim Brotherhood
Indian Government Says England Stole Queen's Big-Ass Diamond Fair And Square
Loser Tennessee Can't Even Manage To Pass Anti-Gay Law
Hey, Maybe Don't Tell Gay Servers You Hope They Get Stoned (At Least Not With Rocks)
Donald Trump Rises Firm And Hard To Sue Artist Who Painted Him With Itty-Bitty Peener
Oh Noes Texas Might Vote To Secede! Whatever Shall We Do?
Southwest Airlines Keeping Skies Safe For Scaredypants Jackasses
Barack Obama Mentors Basketball Person Steph Curry In Sexxxy Sportstime Nice Time Video
Bill O'Reilly: Let's Partial-Birth Abortion Our Unborn Baby, Dear, I Have A Headache
Virgin Islands GOP Delegate Meeting Escalates Quickly
John Kasich Tells Gays To Say Their Prayers And Get Over It
Ted Cruz Will Protect Gays By Letting Christians Discriminate Against Them More
Fox & Friends Terrified Of Lady On $20 Bill. What's Next, CATS?
Hillary Clinton Borrows Obama's Time Machine To STEAL NEW YORK PRIMARY!
Tales Of Restaurant Employees Who Failed Spectacularly
Donald Trump Threatening Everyone Who Won't Let Donald Trump Be President Already
Tom DeLay Has Hot New Consulting Firm Starring Tom DeLay
Bundy Gang Get Their Day In Court, As If 'Courts' Have Any Jurisdiction On Bundy Gang
Pennsylvania Democrats Have Hot 3-Way In Race To Take On Pat Toomey (R-Yawn)
Salon Out-Salons Itself. Wonkette And Baby Jesus Cry.
Union Gains Tiny Foothold In The South. Yes, The American South.
Clinton And Sanders Unite To Sue Holy Hell Out Of Those Arizona Bastards: A Nice Time!
Ted Cruz's Dildos Squeezed Their Way Into Your Weekly Top Ten
Comment Of The Week: Wonkette Gets BURNT By Subject Of Wonkette Story, Matthew Keys!
Pussy Obama Refuses To Start WWIII, Is That Even Legal?
Bill O'Reilly Mystified: Why Are The Blacks So Racist Against Poor Donald Trump?
Ted Cruz Wishes Child Sex Slaves Would Think Of The Unborn Babies
Brigham Young University So Mad At Rape Victim For Failing To Uphold Honor Code
Let's All Self-Soothe With These Nice Videos Of Hillary And Bernie Hardly Yelling At All!
GOP Tennessee Gov Murders The Bible In Its Crib
Sarah Palin Debates Cardboard Cutout Of Bill Nye, Science Guy, On Climate Change. Loses.
Trump's Lawyer Wants To Call Him Daddy, Can't Vote For Him In Primary Either
Surprise! Farm-To-Table (At Least In One City) Is A Complete Lie
BERNIE AND HILLARY AGREE LOUDLY AT EACH OTHER FOR TWO SHOUTY HOURS!
Let's Drink Ourselves To Death 'Leaving Las Vegas'-Styley For The Final Democratic Debate Liveblog!
Rihanna Is Your New President Of Helping People Be Gay
Wisconsin Moms: We'll Feed Your Kids 'Jesus Lunches' Or We'll Cut A Bitch
Donald Trump Needs Jesus, Dammit
We Are Starting To For Real Worry About Ted Cruz's Wife's Well-Being
Matthew Keys Totally Going To Prison For Loaning Someone His Password To HBOGo!
Why Might Former Speaker Denny Hastert Have Rubbed Those Five Boys' Groins? Hmmmm
These Southern Governors Ain't Got Time For Your Dumbass Gay-Hatin' Rigamarole
Report: Ted Cruz Jizzed On All The Pillows
Here Is Your Deep Dive Into The Ted Cruz Dildo Brief
White Castle Officially Wins Contest For Dumbest Thing Said About Minimum Wage
Trump Buddy Roger Stone Says Clintons Murdered JFK Jr., Maybe For Kicks
Hillary And Bernie About To Do Fisticuffs One More Time, Please God Let This Be The Last Time
These Are The Songs Dreamy Paul Ryan Listens To When He's Pumping His Sex Body
Elizabeth Warren And Bernie Sanders Gonna Kick TurboTax Right In The Balls
Hooray, 'Affluenza' Boy Staying In Jail! Hope He Doesn't Drunk Kill Anybody There :(
10 Things You Can Masturbate With When President Ted Cruz Outlaws Dildos
Perfectly Sane 'Researcher' Just Asking If Ted Cruz's Jerk Daddy Killed Kennedy (Yes)
Bryan Fischer Wishes Bryan Adams Would Stop Lynching All The Blacks In Mississippi
Ben Seewald Spits Mad (Bad, Sad, Dad, Cad) Rhymes On This Week's Duggar Recap
North Carolina Vouchers Throw Taxpayer Money At Jesus Schools, Like Founders Wanted
Sen. Ron Johnson: Let's Stop Drugs With Those Ads That Didn't Work The First Time
Ted Cruz Knows Dildos Are Slippery Slope To Banging Your Sister
Stupidest Man On Internet So Sad For Oppressed Wisconsin High School Racists
North Carolina Governor 'Fixes' Gay-Hatin' Law By Not Fixing Sh*t
Ben Carson The Trump Supporter Hates Donald Trump So Much, You Guys
Poll: Donald Trump MURDERING Hillary Clinton In New York (Among Republicans)
Tennessee GOPer Doesn't Want Anyone Sexually Harassing Women But Him
Paul Ryan To Yet Again Deny America His Sexxxy Presidential Embrace
Bill O'Reilly Doubts Even Donald Trump Can Find Jobs For Dumb Tattooed Blacks
North Carolina Prepares For Jizz-Pocalypse After Being Cockblocked By Mean Porn Site
Restaurant Sends Robot Waitstaff To Scrap Pile After They Fail To Serve Man
Good Christian Girls Riding Dildos Straight To Hell
Barack Obama Records 15 Minutes Of Science Teevee. WHY ISN'T HE KILLING ISIS???
Scuzzbag Texas A.G. Ken Paxton In Big Trouble Mister (Again!)
Maybe Don't Joke About Customers Getting Diabetes, Starbucks Baristas
Kansas Spanish Language Voter Guides Had Some Totally Tiny Errors, No Big Deal At All
North Carolina Republican Breaks Up With Bruce Springsteen, Becomes Belieber
Phyllis Schlafly Fears Forbidden Love For Trump Will Tear Her Awful Family Apart
British Rag 'Daily Mail' Can't Stop Puking Over That Nice Princess Woman's Gross Toes
Ben Shapiro Declared A Social Justice Warrior By People More Racist Than Ben Shapiro
Moderate John Kasich Wishes Gays And Gay-Bashers Would Just Be Sweet To Each Other
Fox's Jesse Watters Is Neither A Good Man Nor A Smart Man
Trump Kids Can't Even Vote For Loser Dad In New York, Sad!
Here Are Some Truly Horrifying Restaurant Stories
Ted Cruz Sweeps Colorado With Help Of Fellow Nutjobs
Arizona Congressjerk Will Save Grand Canyon From Barack Obama And Tyranny
Turns Out Donald Trump's Idea Of Charity Involves A Lot Of Golf
Gwyneth Paltrow Wants To Put Bee Poison On Her Face: Your Snake Oil Bulletin!
Deleted Comments: Demacrats Want To Turn America Into 1944 Socialist Berlin!
Sundays With The Christianists: 'God's Not Dead 2' Could Use More Electric Boogaloo
Bernie Sanders Wins Wyoming, Twitter A**holes Might Stop Yelling At You For Five Minutes
Coal Baron Gets Record Sentence For Mine Explosion (Previous Record Was Zero Days)
Wyoming Democrats: Hop On Your Buffaloes, It's Caucus Day!
Florida Gov. Rick Scott Puts Out Ad Calling Starbucks Woman Unpatriotic Taker Anarchist Loser
Kirstie Alley: Donald Trump Will Clear Xenu's Alien Thingies From Our Brainpans Maybe
Ruby Tuesday SO Hot Right Now, Apparently! Your Weekly Top Ten
Your Wonkette Facebook Comment Of The Week Is Short, Sweet, Vulgar. Like US!
Paul Ryan And His Dreamy Eyes Will Heal America, America!
President Obama Thanks Donald Trump And Ted Cruz For Being Stupid Jackholes
Louie Gohmert Would Have Gotten A Stiffie And Here's Why
Ted Cruz Wishes Obama And Hillary Would Stop Forcing Him To Be A Dick All The Time
What Stupid Gaffes Are We Accusing Hillary Clinton And Bernie Sanders Of Today?
Jesus-Loving Cop Fired, Just For Loving Jesus Too Much
Jessica Williams Talks To Gordon Klingenschmitt About Trans People Using The Terlet
Gov. Nikki Haley Not Entirely Sure Why Y'all Gotta Be Such Bigots
Idaho 'Senator' Jim Risch Guesses He Endorses Ted Cruz, Yeah, Whatever.
Hillary Clinton Needs To Muzzle Her Husband
Florida Woman Scalds Rick Scott In Starbucks, With Words
Nice Time! Ellen DeGeneres Tells Mississippi Where To Ram Its New Gay-Hatin' Law
Donald Trump Suddenly Gandhi, Won't Let Crowd Pummel Protester Even A Little
Ivanka Trump's Scarves So Hot Right Now! (Because They Are Dangerously Flammable)
Ben Carson: Aren't We All Criminals, Just A Little Bit?
Bernie Sanders And Spike Lee Want To Do The Right Thing. (GET IT?)
Everybody Hates Ted Cruz, Even New York City School Children
Tennessee Legislators Love Bible, Hate Sex So Much
Hillary Clinton: Ambitious Monster With Daggers For Hands? (Yes)
Former House Speaker Denny Hastert 'Sorry' For Being Sick Bastard, Please Don't Send Him To Jail
Domino's Sued For Stealing All The Wages
Sarah Palin Will SUE Black Rapper Lady For Being Mean To Her On Twitter
Here's Your Sexxxy President Barack Obama, Calling Donald Trump A Dumbass
BREAKING: Beyoncé Does Not Want To Murder All Cops
The Time Merle Haggard Played The Nixon White House, Even Though He Was A Felon
Donald Trump Had Some Opinions On His One-Year-Old Daughter's Tits, Because Obviously
Trump Pal Roger Stone Promises Anti-Trump RNC Delegates Room Service, With Fists
This Week's Duggar Recap Has A Creepy Dad, A Boring Shower Game, But Still No Josh
Watch Elizabeth Warren Rip A New One For Regulator Who Took A Nap During 2008 Meltdown
Domino's Customer Outraged After Employee Asked Them Nicely To Stop Being A Jerkwad
Scott Walker's Favorite Queer-Hatin' Judge Will Hate Queers On Wisconsin Supreme Court
Scott Baio Spending Copious Free Time Yelling 'Trump!' At Poor Starbucks Baristas
Aryan Bigot Twins Wish Gay Agenda Would Stop Having Sex With Them
Donald Trump Will Cut Off Mexico's Ear Unless It Pays Him One MILLION Dollars
Ted Cruz And Bernie Sanders Elected Emperors Of Wisconsin!
Sarah Palin And Some Dead Hog Ready To Watch Tonight's Wisconsin Primary Results
Utah Bomb Squad Disarms Grandma's Terror Dildo
Mississippi: You Call That A Gay-Hatin' Bill, North Carolina? THIS Is A Gay-Hatin' Bill!
Melania Trump: Maybe Donald Is A Little Trigger-Happy With The Retweet Finger
Sarah Palin Right About Thing, When Thing = 'Don't Wish Gang-Rape On Sarah Palin'
15 Things Bill O'Reilly Got Wrong While Laughing At How Stupid These Hippies Are
Sen. Tom Cotton So Glad America Chose Him To Usurp Tyrant King Barack Obama
Horndog Ol' Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley Had Sex Chats With God, All Is Forgiven
Goodbye Ruby Tuesday, You Are Getting Crap Sued Out Of You
They Walk Among Us (For Values Of 'They' Equaling Angel Aliens)
Ted Cruz Did Not Put His Extramarital Penis On DC Madam Ladies, He SWEARS!
Wisconsin Cheesedicks, It's Your Turn To Do Some Democracy!
Donald Trump Loves This Freakin' Videogame Rip-Off Cause It's The Best Freakin' Videogame Rip-Off
Mississippi So Glad Racism Over So It Can Celebrate Confederate Heritage
Trump-Supporting NYU Dudebro Super Terrified Of Mean Campus Liberals
Giggleclown John Kasich Will Tickle America's Kids At Contested GOP Convention
Oh, Hey, Bernie Sanders Might Win Nevada Caucus After All, Because Process Is Nuts
Time Travel Hillary Clinton Went Back To 1868 And Made The Democrats Racist :(
Donald Trump Would Have Classiest, Most Elegant Abortions, Just Terrific
This Week In WTF Restaurant Stories. Seriously?!
Donald Trump So Mad Loser John Kasich Won't Just Quit Already
Ben Carson Brings Trademark Enthusiasm (A Nap) To Endorsement Of Donald Trump's 'Major Defects'
White Idiots With Guns Meet Black Panthers With Guns, Retreat And Declare Perfect Victory
Deleted Comments: Why Is Wonkette So Full Of Stanky Vaginas? WHY?
Maryland Has Two Awesome Democrats Running For Senate. Can We Have Both?
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Will Teach Democrats Lesson By Refusing To Swear Any Of Them In
Patriotic Foreign Tech Firm Won't Bug Your iPhone Unless There's Good Stuff On It
Superlawyer Larry Klayman Can't Represent Armed Bundy Gang, Probably Because Judge Is On Rag
Jesus Pals Disagree On Which Whores To Stone, Just Kidding No They Don't
Ted Cruz's Allegedly Excellent Penis Adventures, Ew Gross. Your Weekly Top Ten.
You Guys It Is Okay That Rosario Dawson Slagged Your Boyfriend The President
John Kasich PAC Made An Anti-Cruz Ad With A Terrifying Nose Penis. That Is All.
Fox News Dumbass Pretty Sure Obama Just Called Him Stupid
Twitchy Idiots SO MAD Obama Keeps Not Losing Jobs Over And Over And Over And Over And
Megyn Kelly Would Like To Wherever-Bleed All Over Donald Trump Some More, Please
Hillary Clinton Is Sick Of Your Sh*t!
Ted Cruz's April Fools Joke Will Make You Die Of Gigglegasms And Go To Hell
Clumsy Trump Protester Assaults Pavement With Own Face
Kim Davis's Loser Lawyers Can't Wait To Defend North Carolina's Bathroom Sniffing Habits
Donald Trump Did Not Say 'Put All The Abortions In Jail,' It Was QUICK LOOK OVER THERE!
Brawlin' Bristol Palin Wishes 'Battered' Breitbart Chick Would Grow Some Stones
Fox News Idiots Wish Fox News Idiots Weren't So Mad At Fox News Idiots Right Now
Rupert Murdoch's Ex Wendi Deng Moves On To New Tyrant: A Sex-Map Of Grossness!
Black Chick Doesn't Want To Tell Black Folks How Great GOP Is Anymore, For Some Reason
We Found A Fast Food CEO Who Is Not Entirely A Jerkface
Mickey Mouse Murders Jesus Christ, Wingnuts Outraged
Utah Figures Abortions Too Safe And Easy For Ladies, Fixes That For Them
Some Dick Is Trying To Keep Bernie Sanders Off The Washington DC Ballot
Christian Innkeepers Eated By Homosexual Lions, How Unfortunate
Servers Tell Boss To Take Her Crap Anti-Minimum-Wage Op-Ed And Shove It
Ladies Named Cruz Think Ted Cruz Awesome For Ladies
Little Marco Rubio Drunk-Texts GOP, Begs For One More Hot Night With His Delegates
We're Starting To Suspect Donald Trump May Not Know How America Works (CORRECTION)
Donald Trump Will Bomb Sh*t Out Of Ladies Who Have Abortions, Murder Their Families
Michelle Obama Gives Way Better Nae Nae Than Hillary. Your Wonkette Dance Party!
This Week's Duggar Recap Features Heaping Helping Of Squashy Babies And Filthy Cars
New Poll Shows Americans Are Total Idiots, Part Zillionteen
SCOTUS Can't Stop Making The Slut Pills Case More Complicated
Republican Presidential Candidates Bunch Of Backstabbing Liars, Basically
Ted Cruz Thinks The Rest Of You Should Shut Up About Jesus
Trump Campaign Manager Had To Kick Gal Reporter's Ass Because She Might Be Assassin!
What Disgusting 'Food' Stuffs Are Sports Stadiums Shoving Into Your Faces Today?
Hey Look, A North Carolina Politician Who Isn't A Gay-Hating Dicknozzle
Rightwing Loons Dana Loesch And Jim Hoft All Out Of Love After Lewandowski Arrest
Will Sportsball Hero Tim Tebow Someday Be First Virgin Dork President Of America?
Florida Judge LOLs At Sovereign Citizen Idiot
Obama Endorses Debbie Wasserman Schultz Over Hot Guy. Wonkette Respectfully Disagrees
Chick Who Maybe Banged Ted Cruz Pretty Sure His Uggo Wife Deserves What She Gets
George W. Bush Is Great Tipper, Terrible President, Did Not Actually Do 9/11
North Carolina Governor Suffering Extreme Case Of Butthurt, Please Send Butt Medicine
Trump Campaign Manager Corey Lewandowski Goes To Jail, For Being A Dick
Pathetic Loser 'Reporters' Ask Donald Trump Questions, Expect Answers. Sad!
These Dudes Can't Wait To Pee Next To Your Wife
Forbes Writer Needs Obamacare For How He Hurt Himself Doing Logic
Pat Robertson Doesn't Understand Why NFL Loves Georgia Buttsex So Much
Nice Bundy Militia Jailbirds Smeared Poop On All The Things
Capitol On Lockdown, Republicans Want To Bring Guns To RNC Knife-Fight. TOTALLY NORMAL.
At Least Nevada Wingnut Sharron Angle Didn't Say She Is Nelson Mandela
Florida Gov. Rick Scott Does Douchebag Thing, Because He Is Douchebag
Anti-Vaccine Film Safely Removed From Robert De Niro's Ass
Sarah Palin So Happy Donald Trump's Jewish Grandbaby Born On Easter, Just Like Jesus!
Breaking! Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal Kicks Gay-Hatin' Wingnuts Right In Their Tiddlywinks
Stories Of Staggeringly Dumb Restaurant Customers, Part 2
Please Enjoy The Slow But Steady Unraveling Of David Brooks
Parents, It Is Unseemly To Brawl With One Another Over Easter Eggs
Deleted Comments: Stop Failing To Recognize Donald Trump's Genius!
New Hampshire's Kelly Ayotte And Maggie Hassan Gonna Lady-Fight For Senate Seat
Hillary Clinton Gets A Whompin'
Damn Rockefellers Now A Bunch Of Damn Wind-Power-Loving Dirty Hippies
Listen To Alabama Governor Talk About Touching Dirty Pillows Of Not His Wife!
In Honor Of Saturday's Democratic Caucuses, Here Are Some Nakey Pics Of Obama
All The Woodland Creatures Flock To Bernie Sanders
Elizabeth Warren Castrates Trump, David Brooks Still Sucks. It's Your Weekly Top Ten!
Finally, A Man Willing To Tell Hillary Why She's So Lady-Bad At Everything!
Arizona Wins Trophy For Effed-Up Primaries, Has Plenty Of Competition
Shame If Someone Had To Shoot SCOTUS Nominee To Teach Him About Second Amendment
Starbucks Bravely Kind Of Sort Of Speaks Out Against Trump A Little Bit
Pope Foot Fetish Can't Stop Washing Dirty Muslim Feets
Indiana Protects Unborned Babies From Their Racist Sexist Mommies
NRA Adds Actual Fairy Tales To Usual Lineup Of Gun Fantasies
Is Ted Cruz Adulterous Foreign-Born Whore? Maybe!
Surprise! Huggy Cuddlebear John Kasich Actually Giant Jerkface
9/11-Humper Rudy Giuliani So Mad At Hillary For Starting ISIS
Obamas Doing Spanish Sex Dances In Argentina While World Burns, Oh Great
Even Ted Cruz 'Supporters' Think He Sucks
Emory University Kids Very Certain Donald Trump Is Unperson, Double-Plus Ungood
California Dude Whips Out Snake In Restaurant. No, Like An Actual Non-Penis Snake
Alabama Governor Didn't Bone That Lady, Sexism Boned That Lady!
If Obama Really Loved America, He'd Be Screwing Callista Gingrich
Obama Endorses Ted Cruz (For Dictator Of Cuba)
Donald Trump Rules Out Banging Ted Cruz's Uggo Wife, Ew Yuck
North Carolina Republicans Pass Bill Telling Transgaysexuals To Eff Right Off
Florida Men Tell Ladies To Get Their Hoo-Has Checked At The Dentist
Louie Gohmert Knows Dr. King Did Not Die So Scientists Could Have A Bunch Of Vaginas
Alabama Governor Sorry For Boning Chick He Totally Didn't Bone, Wink Wink
We Read Today's Entire SCOTUS Slut Pills Transcript So You Didn't Have To
Christian Mommy Rapper Turnt Up Over Deuce-Dropping Transgenders
Learn About How Ben Is A Disgusting Eater In This Week's Duggar Recap!
House Speaker Paul Ryan Has Epiphany: White People Get Food Stamps Too!
Michele Bachmann Says Brussels Attacks Were God's Little Way Of Giving Obama A Wedgie
North Carolina Drops $42K To Make Sure You Go Potty The Right Way
Classy Donald Trump Suggesting Ted Cruz's Wife Is Dirty Girl With Dirty Secret
Texas Muslin Ain't Want None A-Them Fake Hindu Gods Muckin' Up His Dairy Queen
Sarah Palin Will Be Half-Term TV Judge Of Whether He Wrong For That Or You Just Hatin'
Ted Cruz Had One Good Night, Will Never Shut Up Now
Arizona, Utah And Idaho Voting Tonight, So Here's Your Liveblog LOL As If
Donald Trump Doing Terrific With Dudes Who Cheated On Their Wives
Ted Cruz To Invade Dearborn, Build Donald Trump's Wall, Hopefully STFU At Some Point
Brussels Terror Attacks: Known Knowns, Known Unknowns, And Some Of The Asshats
Ted Cruz Furious With Syrian Refugee Babies For Attacking Brussels Like That
World's Greatest Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Goes To That Great Crack House In The Sky
Bernie Sanders Held A Rally In Idaho And It Was OK
John Kasich: Math Is Stupid. The Moon Is Stupid. Votes Is Stupid.
Obama Announces Candidacy For President Of Cuba
Barack Obama Is A Puppet Of The Cuban Dictatorship, LITERALLY
Terrorist Attacks In Brussels Prove Donald Trump Right About Everything
Your Aborted Baby Will Go To Heaven And Play Harps For Huggy Jesus
New Poll Shows Everyone Hates Senate Republicans, Especially Republicans
Elizabeth Warren Chops Off Donald Trump's Manhood, Mounts It Above Fireplace
Rick Perry Not Willing To Be GOP's Third Thing
Awww, Fox News Is A Feminist Now. How Adorable!
Tucker Carlson Sort Of Right About Thing Except Not Really
Stories Of Staggeringly Dumb Restaurant Customers
Here Is Your Depressing Update On The State Of The SCOTUS Nomination Nightmare
Illinois Lawmaker's Daughter Jumps Out Of Nowhere And Starts Stapling This One Guy
Are Space Aliens Running the Clinton Campaign? Sure Why Not?
Trump Campaign Can't Stop Lying Even When It's Right
Deleted Comments: Don't Call Trump Supporters Thugs. They'll Kick Your Pinko Ass
Russ Feingold Seeks To Retake Senate Seat From Teabagger Crapsack Ron Johnson
Would You Like Wonkette In Your Box Every Morning?
Who Knew Spiders Were Into Bondage? Your Saturday Nerdout
Lyft Drivers Reach Triumphant Settlement, Somehow End Off Even Worse
Trump's Aryan Supermen Terrified By Obama's Jewish Supreme Court Nominee
You Want More Justin Trudeau Hotness? Fine. Your Weekly Top Ten.
How To Beat Donald Trump If You Don't Actually Agree With Him
Moderate John Kasich Requests 'Civilized' Bloodless Coup At Republican Convention
PSA: Please Do Not Poison Donald Trump's Creepy-Looking Son With Lemonade
Evil Carl's Jr. CEO Can Hardly Wait To Replace Workers With Robots
GOP Will Dismantle EPA So It Can Never Poison Flint's Water Again
Fox News Pretty Sure Hillary Should Fry For Obama's SCOTUS Pick
David Brooks Realizes He Is Terrible At His Job
Wingnuts Will Never Forgive Michelle Obama For Outlawing Bacon Sundaes In Schools
Erick Erickson Done Goat F*cking For Now, Ready To Save GOP
GOP Congressdude Wants To Chop Off Elizabeth Warren's Balls
Wonkette Is World Famous On CNN!
Marco Rubio Finished Doing Things Now, Ready To Catch Some ZZZ's For Rest Of Life
Lindsey Graham To Hold Off On Murdering Sumbitch Ted Cruz For Now
GOP To Hold Its Breath Until It Turns Blue, Or Until Hillary Wins White House
Pope Francis Fixin' To Quit-Fire Archbishop Who Crammed Kim Davis Down His Throat
Orange County Cops Charged After They Eated All The Snacks In Pot Dispensary Raid
Donald Trump's Mouthbreathing Supporters Will Burn This Mofo DOWN!
Donald Trump's Crimes Against Food Cannot Go Unanswered
Joe Scarborough Not At All Sorry For Being Dumb Sexist Porcine A-Hole
Meghan McCain Said A Mouth Fart About Obama's SCOTUS Nomination
Who Run The World? Girls Named Hillary Apparently. Your Wednesday Wonkette Dance Party
So Long, Marco, And Thanks For All The Dick
Here Is Your Recap Of That New Duggar Show. Are You Happy Now?
Fox Surrenders Unconditionally To Donald Trump. There Will Be No Survivors.
Kentucky Senate Protects Christian Cake Bakers From Dirty Cake-Obsessed Homosexuals
Let's Meet Obama's Sexxxy Silver Fox SCOTUS Nominee, Merrick Garland!
Why Is Hillary Clinton Paying People To Beat Up Donald Trump?
Obama Nominates White Dude For Dead Scalia's Supreme Court Seat, GOP Obviously Appalled
Hillary Clinton Wins All The Things, Coming For Donald Trump's Tiny Hands Now
Marco Rubio Pulls Out Stunning Second Place Win In Florida, Quits GOP Race Like Loser He Is
Let's Watch Little Marco Rubio Disappear Forever! Your Super Toosday Liveblog
Fox News Dumbass Wishes Y'all Would Stop Victim-Shaming Poor Donald Trump
Hulk Hogan Judge And Jury Consider It Relevant To Ask Gawker Editor If She's A Whore
After $25,000 Donation, Florida A.G. Forgot To Investigate Trump's Scammy 'University'
Speaker Paul Ryan Still Displeased With Trump, Still Supporting Him Of Course
Ben Carson Having Sleepy Orgasms About Future One-Term President Donald Trump
Dumb Duggar Boy Won't Let Satan Finger His Sisters Again
Tennessee State Reps Will Stiff You On Tips And Be Asshats About It
Stabby Ben Carson Says Violence Is Sometimes The Answer
Trump's Pastor Pal Wants Godless Jew Bernie Sanders To Meet His Friend Jesus
Sarah Palin Nurses Husband Back To Health By Drunk-Stumping For Trump In Florida
No-Fun Justice Department Won't Let Courts Put Poor People In Debtors' Prisons, Boooo!
Ted Cruz Takes Bold Stand Against Donald Trump Murdering People
Sarah Palin Quits Thing For Good Reason, For Once
John Kasich Will Underpants Gnome His Way To GOP Nomination, You'll See
Donald Trump Not To Blame For Simply Being Messenger Of Donald Trump’s Message
Shocked By Sudden Lack Of Ethics At Breitbart, Gal Reporter And Boy Idiot Resign
Tales Of Restaurant Injuries And Explosions
Can Someone Please Come And Collect Ann Coulter? Anyone?
Ross Douthat Hopes GOP Convention Will Save GOP From Terrifying Trump Monster
PSA: Maple Syrup Will Not Cure Your Baby's Swollen Brains Because It Is Not Medicine
Will Tammy Duckworth's Robot Feet Kick Mark Kirk Out Of The U.S. Senate?
Recipe Hub! Make These Way Easy Grape And Brie Quesadillas NOM NOM NOM
Let's Cluck Like Proud Grandparents At Lovely Young Ladies Sasha And Malia Obama
Hillary Clinton Sorry She Tried To Say Nice Thing About Dead Lady, Won't Do It Again
Meet The Fourth Mrs. Trump, America!
Energy Companies Sue BP For Taking All Of The Fun Out Of Polluting
Breitbart Sorry Its Gal Reporter Got In Way Of Trump Campaign Manager's Fist
Donald Trump Rally Comes To Logical Conclusion
Obamas And Trudeaus Still Slaying Internet With Hotness. Your Weekly Top Ten.
Christian 'Insurance' Helps Members Love On Others, Avoid Demonic Obamacare
Truck Fump! Truck Him Right In His Ear!
Breitbart Remembers Which Side Its Bread Is Buttered On (It Is Trump-Brand Bread)
Marco Rubio Knows He Can Win This Thing, If You'll Just Vote For Someone Else
Donald Trump Politely Pats Competitors On Butts, Says ‘Good Game’
Joe's Crab Shack Very Sorry For Serving Crab Nachos With Side Of Lynchings
Virginia Legislature Saves Children From All That Porn In Schools
Sad Republicans Forced To Choose Between Guy They Can't Stand And Guy They Hate
Half-Term Governor Says Half-Term Senator Too Inexperienced To Be Half-Term President
Ben Carson Has New Scam Cure To Sell, And Its Name Is Donald Trump
Donald Trump Punches Everyone In Their Little Marcos: GOP Debate Liveblog
World's Sexiest North American Leaders Break Entire Internet, With Sexiness
Trump Campaign On Assaulted Breitbart Reporter Gal: Who, Us?
Dear Univision: Show Us On The Doll Where Hillary And Bernie Hurt You
Another Dude Gets Punched At Trump Rally Because That's What Happens Now
Jesus Sends Josh Duggar's Penis Home From Sex Rehab With Clean Bill Of Health
Democratic Debate Moderator Sleeping With Republican Benghazi Committee, We Guess
Guess Why Elizabeth Warren Is Mighty Pissed At Republicans This Time
Oh Look, Oklahoma Being Effing Awful Again
Idaho Defends Crucial Parental Right To Let Own Kids Die For Funsies
GOP Probably Won't Have Marco Rubio Kidnapped After Tonight's Debate. Probably.
Two Adults Talk About America Instead Of Their Dicks: Dem Debate Liveblog!
Looks Like Sony's Dropping Kesha's Rapey Producer: Your Wednesday Wonkette Dance Party
Americans Want GOP To Do Its Damn Job, So That'll Never Happen
Donald Trump Would Never Disgrace Himself On TV Like Media Whore Mitt Romney
The 2016 Wonkette Winter Wonksicle Tour, By The Numbers
Missouri Democrats Literally Could Not Shut Up About Gay People This Week
Lying Liar Carly Fiorina Says New Lies, For Lyin' Ted Cruz
Christian Daddy Seeks Godly Young Man To Pry Open Daughter's Box
Trump Sued For Stealing Servers' Tips, Has Achieved Peak Trump
Marco Rubio Biggest Winner Of Dead Last Place
Bernie Surprise Winned Michigan! Time For Another Democratic Debate Death Match
Liveblogging Just Plain Regular Not Super Tuesday Presidential Primaries
If Legless Vet Tammy Duckworth Really Loved Vets, She Would Have Given More Limbs
People Just Loved Getting Scammed By Donald Trump's 'University,' Says Donald Trump
Sad Drunk David Brooks Doesn't Have To Go Home, But He Can't Stay Here
Nevada Dongwhistle Michele Fiore Actually Running For United States Congress, Hooray!
Make Less Than $9500 Per Year? Oklahoma Will Help You By Axing Your Medicaid
Donald Trump Didn't Know Acting Like Hitler Was Going To Be Some Big Problem
Scott Walker's Favorite Judge Was A Real Queer-Hatin' Hoot In College
Texas Gleefully Jizzing Itself Over All The Poor Folks It's About To Arrest
Sneaky Chinese Millionaires Ruining America, Making Trump Family Richer
John Kasich Can't Win Nomination, Says That's No Reason He Can't Be Nominee
Mitt Romney Will Make His Buttocks Available For Kicking, If Needed
If President Donald Trump Tortures You, That Means It's Not Illegal
Rick Snyder Simply Can't Believe Hillary And Bernie Would Blame HIM For Flint Crisis
Everybody Trying To Figure Out How To Give Themselves Abortions, Hooray
Ted Cruz Refuses To Take A Stand On Donald Trump's Penis
Supreme Court Lets Lesbians Be Mommies, Civilization To End By Dinnertime
Stories of Restaurant Customers Who Were Basically Satan
Marco Rubio Loses Second Place In Puerto Rico, Will Do Better In Florida
Immigration Judge Certain That Three-Year-Olds Make Dandy Attorneys
Democrats Have Civilized Debate, No Trump Penis Allowed
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Gardasil Prevents Cancer, So Anti-Vaxxers Figure It's Poison
A Firm Yet Tender, Sex-Positive Tribute To Nancy Reagan, Hollywood BJ Queen
Meet The Lady Who Just Might Kick Grumpypants John McCain Out Of The Senate
Cruzmentum Popping Out All Over, Just Like That Thing That Popped Out Of His Nose
Behold The Benedict Cumberbunny, Ye Mortals, And Weep! Your Saturday Nerdout
Ben Carson Suspends Campaign, Will Return To Private Sector Grifting
Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump: Your Weekly Top Ten. (Donald Trump!)
Time For Another Sexxxy Saturday Of Presidential Primaries And Caucuses!
Master Troll Harry Reid Trolls Republicans, Masterfully
Bristol Palin Delighted By How Well Kids And Guns Play Together
Georgia Republican Gov. Nathan Deal Thinks 'Religious Liberty' Laws Are Real Dumb, Y'all
Loser Felon Dinesh D'Souza Will Destroy Hillary Just Like He Destroyed Obama
Fox News Tries To Slay Donald Trump, Gets 'A' For Effort
Did Ted Cruz Eated A Booger During Republican Debate?
GOP Candidates Pledge To Bend Over For Donald Trump's Beautiful Penis In November
You Are Probably A Huge Loser If You Went To Trump University
Moderate John Kasich Calls For Kinder, Gentler Gay Bashing
Donald Trump Guarantees His Big Dick Will Make America Great Again
Who's Begging To Get On His Knees For Donald Trump Now? GOP Debate Liveblog
Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Hires Fancy New Lawyers, Just In Case He's A Giant Criminal
Chris Christie Denies Being Held Captive In Donald Trump's Sex Dungeon Of Shame
Silly Drunk Mess Sarah Palin Says No, Mitt Romney, You Are 'Silly Man' Also Too
Donald Trump Campaign Likes Actual White Power 'Media' Dude More Than Your Wonkette. Weird!
Everyone's Being A Dick To Elizabeth Warren
Mitt Romney Announces Republicans Suck, Especially That Trump Guy: A Liveblog
Donald Trump Releases 'Plan' To Do Healthcare To America, And It's Adorable
No, The KKK Is Not And Has Never Been Liberal: A Historysplainer
Republican Candidates Trying To Fill Ben Carson-Shaped Hole In Their Hearts
Obamas Going To SXSW Like Common Hipsters: Your Wednesday Wonkette Dance Party
Dr. Ben Carson Writes Prescription For Himself To Go Bye Now
Oh Yeah, Ted Cruz's Dumb Face Won Some States Too
South Dakota Governor Doesn't Want To Peek At Kids' Junk In The Bathroom For Some Reason
Republicans SO MAD They Made Trump Happen
Marco Rubio Wins A State, Still Second-Place Champion Of Our Hearts
Dear God, Chris Christie, What's Become Of You?
Some Chick 'Made History' On Super Tuesday, We Guess
This Inspiring Liveblog About Super Tuesday Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity
Mitt Romney Seems To Be Running For President All Of A Sudden
Speaker Paul Ryan Will Swat Donald Trump On His Bottom For Being Naughty Racist
It's A Bernie V. Hillary Knock-Down Drag-Out Fight! (At My Mama's House, Starring Us)
Mean Federal Judge Orders Indiana Governor To Kiss All The Syrian Refugees On The Mouth
Meet Your New Favorite Trump Democrats, Orval And Shirley!
New Hampshire Paper Regrets Endorsing Chris Christie, Must Have Been Drunk
Donald Trump's $100K Mar-A-Lago Memberships Open To Everyone, Even Blacks And Jews
America Might Not Have Embarrassing Clown Louie Gohmert To Kick Around Any More
Trump's 'University' Flopped Even Worse Than His Tiny Penis
Court Says Bill O'Reilly's Kids Don't Have To Live With Terrible Monster Bill O'Reilly
So You Want To Be A Journalist In Donald Trump's America?
Dead Scalia Already Making America Great Again
Even At The Supreme Court, Ted Cruz Can't Stop Talking About Ted Cruz
Ben Carson Promises To Keep Taking Money From Morons, Because Democracy
Ted Cruz Just Wondering How Many Horse Heads Donald Trump Deducts On His Taxes
Donald Trump Firmly Anti-Hitler, Will Look Into Whether KKK Terrific Or Not
Hobby Lobby CEO Says Marco Rubio's Huge Penis Much Classier Than Trump's Little Nub
Stories Of Elderly Restaurant Customers And The Havoc They Caused
Ross Douthat Knows Donald Trump Is Totally Obama's Fault
Michigan's Favorite Fornicating Former Lawmakers Headed For The Big House, Maybe
Very Classy Marco Rubio Simply Suggesting Donald Trump's Penis Is Very Small
Deleted Comments: Away With You, Wonkette, And All Your Bawdy Talk!
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Teen Charlatan Just As Bad As The Grown-Up Kind
Pat Robertson Can Heal You And Drive Out Demons -- Even On Tape!
It's Your Nail-Biting Edge-Of-Your-Seat Thrill Ride South Carolina Primary Open Thread
Your Saturday Nerdout: 1969 Anti-LSD Film Features Screaming Hot Dog Freakout
Apple: Great Sweatshop Or Greatest Sweatshop?
Of Course God Is Murdering Bald Eagles To Show He Hates Abortion
Republicans Are Dicks And Donald Trump Is Their Daddy: Your Weekly Top 10
All Of Indonesia Competing To Say Craziest Thing About The Gays
Pro-Life Republicans Have Better Things To Do Than Help Flint's Poisoned Children
Can Marco Rubio Count To Potatoe?
Trump's Wall To Be 10 Feet Taller Because Mexico Hurt His Feelings With Swears
Chris Christie Swallows Marco Rubio And His Pride, Endorses Donald Trump
Looks Like Pretty Much Everyone Tried To Warn Rick Snyder About Flint's Water
Idaho GOP Rep Is Big Fan Of Todd Akin, Covers His Smash Hit 'Legitimate Rape'
This Week's Mass Shootings Not Spectacular Enough To Mention At GOP Debate
IRS Comes For Donald Trump Because Of How Much He Loves Jesus
Donald Trump Loves Foreign Workers When They Work For Donald Trump
Watch CNN Pretend These Other Non-Trump Losers Still Matter: Your GOP Debate Liveblog
A Brief Intermission To Yell At You About Bagels
Maybe Antonin Scalia's Secret Society Hunting Pals Murdered Him With Obama's Pillow
Loser Jeb Bush Sorry For Losing, Being A Loser
Brave Todd Starnes Fights For College Kids' Right To Eat Breasts On Buttery Buns
Residents Of Mississippi Can Now Also Enjoy Delicious Lead-Filled Water
House Wingnut Begs For Cuban Sacrifice To Appease GOP Thunder Gods
President Ted Cruz To Pardon That Planned Parenthood Video Guy First Thing, For Justice
Georgia's Nifty 'Religious Freedom' Law Might Protect KKK's Sacred Right To Do Klan Stuff
Debtor Scott Walker Poised To Let Collectors Loose On Debtors Who Aren't Scott Walker
Alabama Wants To Keep Abortion Clinics From Preying On School Kids With Free Candy
Time For Another Episode Of Republicans Pretending Trump Isn't Already The Nominee
Guess Who Wants A Peek At Donald Trump's Tax Returns!
Here Is Your Daily Affirmation That Republicans Are Dicks
Ben Carson Plans To End Terrorism With 'Truth Serum,' Also Jetpacks Maybe
Mississippi To Stay Wrapped In Warm Embrace Of Confederate Flag
Congressional Republicans Finally Accepting Reality That Trump Is Their New Daddy
Marco Rubio Must Have Learned His Peculiar Primary Delegate Math From Common Core
Ben Carson Is Black, Wants His Consolation Prize, Send Money Please
Well I Guess We Have To Make You This 'Election Game Of US America Elections: The Game' Now
Texas Tosses Rick Perry's Criminal Charges, Still Won't Help Him Win White House
Texas Universities Brace For Concealed Guns, Students To Get Automatic A+++
Poisoned Children Will Not Stop Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder's Crusade For Small Government
If Ted Cruz Doesn’t Man Up, This Conservative Celebrity Might Slice Off His Own Balls
Marco Rubio Soars To Triumphant Not Last Place In Nevada, Donald Trump Does OK Too
Spoiler: Jeb Bush Does Not Win Nevada
Marco Rubio Is A Lot Like Harry Potter, And All These Other Fictional Characters
How Many Saviors Must Die For The Sins Of Evil Ted Cruz?
Sandy Hook Parents Murdering Poor Gunmaker, With The Law
BREAKING: GOP Does Not Want To Work, Just Wants To Bang On Drum All Day
Moderate Gentleman John Kasich Advises Womenfolk To 'Relax'
Idiot Rep. Darrell Issa Won't Let Obama Kill All The Cherokee By Closing Gitmo
Another Minnesota Cop Can't Contain His Feelings About Running Protesters Over
Who Would Donald Trump Like To Punch In The Face Today?
Mormon Church Strangely OK With Hate Crimes, Because 'Fairness'
O Hai Memphis We Are Outrunning Tornadoes To Come See You Tonight, No Big
Glenn Beck Loves Ted Cruz So Much He Wants To Lose Weight For Him
Zombie Ronald Reagan Tells Republicans To Do Their Job
Yelp Fires Employee For Publicly Criticizing Company, Internet Somehow Shocked
Bob Dole's Limp Penis Endorses Marco Rubio
St. Louis Archbishop Pretty Certain Girl Scouts Are Tools Of The Devil
Ted Cruz Sorry For Saying Marco Rubio Hates Your Stupid Bible
In Which My Husband Takes Vicious, Belated Pleasure In General Sherman's March To The Sea
Pregnant Women Run Barefoot From Their Kitchens To Support John Kasich
Just Because Justice Scalia Is Dead Doesn't Mean He Can't Vote
Stories Of Customers Who Ate Things They Really Weren't Supposed To
Donald Trump Just Askin' If Marco Rubio Is Also A Foreign From Canada
Totally Reasonable John Kasich Guts Planned Parenthood In Totally Moderate Way
Sundays With The Militias: How One Smart Cowboy Beats The Whole Federal Gummint
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Please Do Not Smear Your C-Section Baby With Vagina Goo. Really.
Your Post-Nevada, Post-South Carolina, Post-Bushpocalypse Caucus/Primary Wrapup!
A Special Message From Me, Your Editrix, Writin' At Ya!
We Won't Have Jeb Bush Or His Exclamation Point To Kick Around Anymore
Deleted Comments: Obama Murdered Scalia, Just Like He Killed Joan Rivers!
Presidential Wannabes Prepare For Saturday Night Massacre Funtimes, Yay!
The Name Of The Mockingbird Is Rose: Remembering Harper Lee and Umberto Eco
Walmart Ordered To Re-Hire Striking Workers, Dignity And Respect Still Optional
Was Scalia Murdered By Obama The Gay Prostitute?! Your Weekly Top Ten
NRA Offers Helpful Health And Safety Tips: First, Buy A Gun. Next, Buy More Guns.
San Francisco Tech Bro Sick Of Stepping Over Untouchables On Way To And From Mansion
Remember To Vote This November To Re-Elect Justice Scalia For President Of The Supreme Court
Arkansas School Not Racist, Just Wants To Make Sure The Blacks Don't Gangbang Everybody
ACLU Has Crazy Idea That People In Kansas Have Right To Vote
Jeb Bush Tells Mean Pope To Leave His Favorite Teddy Bear Trump Alone
Donald Trump Used To Think Iraq War Was Terrific, Just Terrific
Oh Look, Our Charleston Party Is Tonight, So We Just Figured Out Where We're Going!
Kentucky's New Whacknut Governor Suing Planned Parenthood, For The Ladies
Ben Carson Begs Media To Stop Killing Him So Much
Somebody Finally Remembered To Accuse Hillary Of Murdering Scalia
Idiot Gov. Paul LePage Doesn't Want Refugees Spreading The 'Ziki Fly' All Over Maine
Donald Trump Fires Pope For Being Bad At Jesus
Boys Way More Smarter Than Girls, According To Boys
Idaho Lawmaker Will Make Sure Kids Learn Science Directly From King James Bible
Senate Republicans Quite Conflicted About Whether To Do Their Job
Oregon Militia Twit Sues America For Being Literally Satan
North Carolina Republicans So Sad Dead Scalia Can't Help Them Do Racism No More
Jeb Bush Admits He Should Delete His Account
Here Are Some Awful Presidents Paul Ryan Thinks Were WAY Better Than Obama
Nikki Haley Wants To Take Marco Rubio Behind The Middle School, Get Him Pregnant
Genteel Racisms At The Virginia RV Park Waffle Bar
Tennessee Sheriff So Mad Beyoncé Shot Up His House
Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Outraged Feds Let Him Poison Children Of Flint
Guy Who Said The Law Can Crush Your Child's Testicles Boo-Hooing Supreme Court Has 'Seized Power'
Lawless Nevada Thug Cliven Bundy Gets To Stay In Jail Forever, Hooray!
West Virginia Lawmakers Will Protect Uber Drivers From Gays Who Want To Ride Them
Fox News Can't Believe Navy SEAL Who Killed Bin Laden Not Terrified Of Lady Soldiers
Ted Cruz Wins Paternity Test For Heart Of Bristol Palin's Second Deadbeat Baby Daddy
Hillary Clinton Literally Barking Mad
RINO Chuck Grassley Picks SCOTUS Fight With Rightwing Chuck Grassley, Both Lose
Florida Man Pretty Sure Constitution Lets Him Shoot Anyone He Wants By Accident
Annoy Your Friends And Help Wonkette Without Even Getting Your Pocket Picked (This Time)
Ben Carson Wakes Up From Nap To Share Weird Dream He Had About Supreme Court
Genteel Wonkers Of The Southern Persuasion, We Shall Be Upon Thee!
Jeb Bush Very Proud Of That Time He Replaced Florida Schools With Jesus
Maybe Ted Cruz Should Shoot Donald Trump In The Face, As Our Founders Intended
Texas School Board Candidate Can't Wait To Teach Kids About Obama's Gay Whoring Days
Kentucky Rep Will Only Let Dudes Have Boner Pills If Their Wives Say It's OK
Are Jeb And Dubya From The Same Family? A Wonksplainer
Donald Trump Might Have To Sue Ted Cruz For Being Lying Jerkhole, From Canada
Republicans Eat Each Other's Faces Off In Yet Another Holy Jesus Debate
Marco Rubio Can't Believe You Morons Thought He Was Serious About Immigration Reform
Donald Trump To Bomb The Sh*t Out Of RNC For Hurting His Feelings
Tucker Carlson Doesn't Want To Wank To Fat Chicks
Wingnuts Agree: Obama Murdered Scalia Just Like He Murdered Breitbart And America
Who Will Save The Babies Now That Antonin Scalia Is Roasting In Hell?
Stories Of Restaurant Employees Who Had Their Just Revenge
Badass Sen. Elizabeth Warren Kindly Invites GOP To Shut Up About Scalia Replacement
GOP: The Only Person To Replace Scalia Should Be The Reanimated Corpse Of Scalia
Deleted Comments: Teen Savant Tells Insane Libtarted Communists, 'YOUR SICKOS!'
Snake Oil Bulletin: All The Single Demons In Formation To Put A Super Bowl Ring On It
Whole Foods' Gamble: Will In-Store Tattoo Parlors Attract Enough Insufferable Millennials?
How Many Times Can Six Republicans Say 'Scalia' In Two Hours? Your Debate Open Thread
Powerpuff Girls Are Back To Tap Dance On MRA Bullies' Faces! Your Saturday Nerdout
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Bet You Didn't Know Cashews Had To Be 'Activated'
Oregon Standoff Ends In Arrests, Disappointment At Failure To Spark Revolution
Bundys, Beyoncé And Rick Snyder's Wife's Birthday Cake. Your Weekly Top Ten.
Let's Watch Barack And Michelle Obama Make Goo Goo Sexes At Each Other In Public
For His Next Trick, Ted Cruz Will Ruin 'Office Space' And Geto Boys Forever
Jeb Bush So Proud Of How His Florida Boys Did Abu Ghraib
Ted Cruz Campaign Casts Softcore Porn Performer In Ad, Then Yanks It
Fear And Loving In New Hampshire: Your Wonkebago Primary Wrap-Up!
Fox News Invades PBS Debate, Begs Democrats To Drown Big Government In Bathtub
Ben Carson Vows To Continue Winning Streak In South Carolina Primary
Michigan Lawmakers Tried To Solve Flint Water Crisis By Banning Buttsex
New York Saturday Afternoon! Drink Czech Beers With Us At Bohemian Beer Hall!
Hillary And Bernie Have Big Fight Over Who’s Most Gayest For Obama
Ted Cruz's Wife Libels God, Says He Looks Like Ted Cruz
Has This Democratic Primary Killed You Yet? No? LET'S ALL YELL SOME MORE! A DEBATE LIVEBLOG!
Happy Birthday Jeb! Bush, Don't Set Yourself On Fire With Those Candles
Red Lobster Thrilled Beyoncé Considers It Top Choice For Post-Coital Noshing
South Dakota Would Like To Take A Stab At Gay-Bashing Now
Marco Rubio Is Total Loser, Should Definitely Be Republican Nominee
Don't Be Jealous Of Flint, America, You Probably Have Poison Water Too!
Cleveland To Tamir Rice: Being Dead Is No Excuse For Being A Deadbeat
Cliven Bundy Arrested, Remaining Oregon Militia Jackwagons To Surrender
Tennessee Poors Refuse To Be Drug-Addicted Welfare Queens, Unfair!
Time For Hillary And Bernie To Call Each Other Big Hairy Dumb Stupidheads Again!
Chris Christie Tells Himself To Sit Down And Shut Up
Lying Liar Carly Fiorina Promised To Keep Running, Was Lying About That Too
Jeb Bush So Grateful He Won New Hampshire, If You Don't Count Everyone Else
Denny's Admits Making Black Customers Prepay Was No Grand Slam
Achtung! Alert! BOSTON! We Are In You Today!
Christian College Officially No Longer Has To Deal With Gross Professor Who's Nice To Muslims
Ask Wonkette Anything About Why We Are Doing A Reddit Ask Me Anything!
Wonkette Babby Wins All-Important New Hampshire 'Morning Joe' Primary
New Hampshire Really, REALLY Loves That Racist Jerkhole Donald Trump
Here Is Your Bernie Sanders New Hampshire Victory-Palooza Speech, For You To Fap To
Liveblogging The Epic Battle For Better Than Last Place In New Hampshire Primary
Obama Refuses To Say How He Rigged New Hampshire Primary
Racist Maine Gov. Paul LePage Decides It's The Blacks Dealing Drugs After All
Ted Nugent Knows Jews Are The Real Nazi Holocaust-Doers, Because Obviously
Ben Carson Graciously Agrees To Hot Date With Ted Cruz For Make-Up Sex
Carly Fiorina Says She's Losing Because Everyone's Afraid Of Her, Yeah That's It
David Brooks Misses Obama, Wishes He Were Still President
Nevada Dingbat Michele Fiore Taking Cliven Bundy To Oregon Between Her Giant Boobs
Florida Man Hurls Gator Through Wendy's Drive-Thru Window, Becomes Apex Florida Man
NH Primary Down To Donald Trump's Watermelon-Sized Balls, Ted Cruz's Vagina
Batrillionaire Michael Bloomberg Might Like To Buy New House That Is White
BREAKING: Donald Trump Wins Iowa Caucuses!
In 24 Hours, These Bernie Sanders T-Shirts Will Self-Destruct
Pansy POW Loser John McCain Still Against Torture, Will Never Be President Now
Boston, NYC, DC, Points South! Let Us Be Lovers, Marry Our Fortunes Together (This Week!)
Chicago Cop Bummed He Had To Shoot Those Black People, Sues Survivors
Human Trash Fire Sam Brownback Set To Gut Public Education In Kansas, Hooray
Ted Cruz's Mouth Writing Checks No Ass Can Cash
Beyoncé Super Bowl Show Features Black People, Wingnuts Super Outraged
More Stories Of Incredibly Stupid Restaurant Customers
Pro-Lifer Buys Abortion Clinic To Offer Women Enticing New Range Of BS ‘Choices'
Marco Rubio Will Pay You To Make Fun Of Him Forever And Ever
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Uh-Oh, Wonkette's Killing White Folks Again!
Fine, Here Is Your Bernie Sanders On SNL Already. Are You People Happy Now?
These Idiots Again, Minus Some Idiots: Your New Hampshire Republican Debate Open Thread!
Scientists Aroused By 99-Million-Year-Old Spider Boner: Your Saturday Nerdout
Mean Old Government Trying To Stifle Corporations' Sacred Right To Screw Consumers
Hillary Clinton And Ted Cruz Go To The Olive Garden With Satan. Your Weekly Top Ten.
Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Buys Wife Unleaded Birthday Cake Fit For Marie Antoinette
Mean Tinder App Won't Let Everybody #FeelTheBern, In Their Pants
What Should Tennessee Do About Kid Who Shot Girl Over A Puppy? How About 'Day-Drink'?
Grifty Marco Rubio Got $69K To Teach Two Whole College Classes Once In A While
Jeb Bush LOLs About How His Mom Used To Beat Him
Rick Snyder Probably Too Busy Ignoring Flint's Poison Water To Notice All The Legionnaire's
No, Chuck Todd, Bernie And Hillary Will Not Brawl To The Death For Your Amusement
Donald Trump Thinks Gays Are Just Terrific, Unless He Doesn't. Who Even Knows?
The First Rule Of Hillary And Bernie Fight Club Is MOMMY AND DADDY, STOP FIGHTING!
Hillary And Bernie Gonna Scrap, For Your Hearts! Your Democratic Debate Liveblog
Do Not Be A Dummy And Forget How We Are Liveblogging Tonight's Democratic Debate
Planned Parenthood Video Dude Really Excited About Going To Prison, We Guess
Punchy-Faced Drug Man Martin Shkreli Too Awesome To Talk To Losers In Congress
Racist Georgia Rep Forced To Withdraw Racist Bills After Doing Racism In Public, Unfair!
Republicans So Mad At Barack Obama For Saying Muslims Are Human Beings, As If!
Finnish Clowns Give Marauding Bigots Exactly The Respect They Deserve
Rick Santorum Wants To Bareback Marco Rubio. With Votes.
Maine Republican Takes Bold Stand Against Free Lobster For ISIS Terror Bombers
Let's Watch Hillary And Bernie Scrap Like Jilted Lovers. Your Democratic Debate Preview
Bernie And Hillary Do Free College Benghazi To Each Other At CNN Town Hall
Nice Pastor Will Sell Church To Homos In Exchange For Butt Baby Love Offerings
Jeb Bush Would Like Your Electoral Cherry, Young Man
David Brooks Can't Stop Fapping Over Marco Rubio's Bursting And Surging
Oklahoma Has Cunning, Wildly Unconstitutional Plan To Keep The Gays From Marrying
Chicago, Come Meet Your Wonkette Tonight! Detroit, Come Kiss Us Thursday!
Michele Bachmann Not About To Let Obama Become Antichrist At The United Nations, No Way
Donald Trump Wants Iowa To Put Ted Cruz IN JAIL
Are The Duggars About To Finger Our Souls With New Season Of '19 Kids And Counting'?
Rand Paul Has Another Extremely Occasional Moment Of Sanity, Drops Out Of Race
Baby's First Caucus! Baby's First Drug Raid! Welcome To Iowa, America
Nice Porno Company Will Pay Aaron Schock's Legal Fees, And All He Has To Do Is Guys
Sarah Palin And Steve King Huffing Corn Syrup Fumes At Each Other Again
Donald Trump To Iowa Voters: You Are Stupid And I Am Terrific!
Ben Carson Would Have Won Iowa If It Weren't For That Meddling Cruz Kid
Dearest Mike Huckabee: So Long, Farewell, Aufwiedersehen, Burn In Hell
Walmart Has To Pay $31 Million For Retaliation-Firing An Employee, Hooray!
Flint's Poison Water Now With Even More Poison! (Rick Snyder Not Yet In Jail)
Hillary Winned The Iowa Caucuses, And Ted Cruz Still Sucks
Come Together While Iowa Jams Its Caucus Down Your Throat
Ted Cruz's Final Message To Iowa: I Hate You As Much As Everybody Hates Me
Let Jeb Bush Tell You What A Failure He Is In 18 Seconds Or Less
Dumb Duck Dynasty Dude Wants All The Queer-Lovers Dead, We Guess
Sarah Palin: Only A Idiot Would Blame Her Son's Drunken Girlfriend-Beating On The President
Everything You Need To Know About Iowa's Hot Throbbing Caucus: A Wonksplainer
Stories Of Restaurant Employees Who Unleashed Their Inner Smartass
Sarah Palin Would Never Judge You For Not Loving Jesus, As Long As You're Donald Trump
Iowa Lady Accuses Trump Campaign Of Sex Discrimination, Who'd Have Thought?
Deleted Comments: Why Should We Believe Lying Sluts Or The FBI?
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Dumb
Sundays With The Militia: In 'Tarp Man's' Novel, Guns Are The Most Interesting Characters
Your Saturday Nerdout: Neil deGrasse Tyson Has Had Quite Enough Of Flat Earth Rappers
Rejoice! New Barbie Body Types Will Enhance Self-Esteem Of Mattel Shareholders
Hillary Clinton Definitely Going To Email Jail This Time For Sure
Oregon Militia In Jail, Planned Parenthood Witch Hunt Hilarious Now. Your Weekly Top Ten
One Million Moms Furious Olive Garden BFFs With Satan Now
Is It Time To Put Ben Carson Out Of His Misery? (Electorally Speaking, Of Course!)
Iowa City, Chicago, Detroit: If You'd Known We Were Coming Would You Have Baked A Cake?
Donald Trump Knows Who Gets Yooge, Classy Pussy, Tucker Carlson, And It Is Donald Trump
Flint Office Workers Got Delicious Bottled Water While Residents Guzzled Lead
Congratulations, Jim Gilmore, Here's Your One Wonkette Post Ever!
Marco Rubio Ready To Be President Of Jesus
FBI Video Conclusively Shows Oregon Militia Guy Shot Dead By Cops Was Not Unarmed Black Teen
Donald Rumsfeld To Spend His Eighties Murdering Fewer People
Donald Trump Won The Fox News Republican Debate, By Not Showing Up
With Trump Gone, Who Will Megyn Kelly Bleed All Over Now? Your GOP Debate Liveblog
Liveblogging Second-Tier Crybaby Losers GOP Debate For The Last Time, Thank God
Wonkette Dick Jokes Now Officially Sponsored By These Nice Penis Pump Folks!
Uh Oh, Bernie Sanders Campaign Being Very Naughty In Nevada
Republicans Still Gunning For Planned Parenthood, Maybe They'll All End Up In Jail
Ammon Bundy Says Tyranny Not So Bad, Everybody Go Home Now
Hero Restaurant Manager Drops Mic Over Religious Pamphlets Left As Tips
Rand Paul Is Your New Feminist Hero, Apparently
Michigan Militia Will Pump Whatever's Responsible For Flint's Poisoned Water Full Of Lead
Republicans Threatening To Care About Veterans, Thanks Donald Trump!
Let's Watch Losers Debate A Man Who's Not There. Your Republican Debate Preview
Bernie Bro Just Wondering Who Her Royal Highness Michelle Obama Thinks She Is Anyway
Kansas To Give Gun Dealers Special Rights Like They're A Bunch Of Gays Or Something
Tom Cotton Screwing Up The One Good Thing Congress Might've Done This Year
Bernie Eviscerates, Defenestrates Hillary In Wonkette's First-In-The-Nation Primary!
Ted Cruz Double-Dog Dares Donald Trump To Meet Him Behind The Gym At Recess
Kentucky Gets To Pay Creationists To Dress Up Like Noah's Ark Bible Dinosaurs, Yippee!
Ted Cruz Finally Made A Friend In The Senate, Sort Of
Donald Trump Quits Fox News Debate Like A Common Sarah Palin
Oregon Militia Will Beg For Snacks In Jail After Fed Shootout Leaves 1 Dead, 8 In Custody
Chris Christie Won't Let Stupid Storm Victims Interrupt Critical Out Of State Schmoozing
Evil Dumb Maine Gov. Paul LePage Would Love To See Heads Roll In Public Square
Donald Trump Just Teasing, Won't Commit Murder To Test Idiot Fans' Loyalty
Fox News Outraged Planned Parenthood Witch Hunt Burning Wrong Witches
Know What's Just Like ISIS? Gay Tennessee Teenagers, That's What.
New House Speaker Paul Ryan Has Some Ideas, You Guys!
Wonkette Made You A Present, It Is This Game Of US America Elections: The Game!
Matt Drudge Gives Male Roommate Traditional Heterosexual Gift Of Real Estate
Oregon Militia Couple Celebrates 'Take Your Daughters To Armed Insurrection' Day
Tennessee Republican Too Busy Sexting To Resign Over Sexting Scandal
Hillary And Bernie Get It On In Iowa Town Hall, Martin O'Malley Invited To Watch
You'll Never Guess Who Might Be Going To Prison For Those Planned Parenthood Videos
Iowa Wonkers, Come Pre-Game The Caucuses With Your Beloved Wonkette!
Ted Cruz Outraged Obama Seized His Health Insurance, Except For How He Didn't
Marco Rubio So Sad New Yorkers Can't Shoot Each Other In The Face All The Time
Surprise! Michigan Officials Knew Flint River Water Was Crap, Used It Anyway
David Brooks Pretty Sure Marco Rubio Will Be President Of David Brooks's Heart
Sarah Palin Needs Gas Money You Guys
Stories of Restaurant Customers Who Were Just The Best (Yes, Really)
Secessionist Rick Perry Endorses Canadian Ted Cruz For President Of Who Even Knows Where
Father-Son Duo Shoots Father-Son Duo In Gun-Stuffed America, Hooray
Deleted Comments Of The Week: Dammit, George Soros's Check Bounced
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Girl Scouts are Literally Satan
Corporate Overlords Want To Replace You With Robots, Still Good With Child Labor
Donald Trump's 'Shoot Somebody' Plan Gets Big Thumbs Up From Supporters
Neo-Nazi Trump Supporters Can't Stop Fapping To Anime: Your Saturday Nerdout
Responsible Gun Owner Lets Life Imitate '13 Hours' By Shooting Nice Lady In Theater
The Tragedy Of Jeb Bush: A Play In Three Acts, Starring Barbara And Trump
Sarah Palin Had A Crappy Week, Dontcha Know? Your Weekly Top Ten.
Kansas Republican Wants Ladies To Put Some Clothes On. Boys, You Wear What You Want.
Moron Todd Starnes Says Moron Todd Starnes Is Moron
Virginia Republican Ends Domestic Violence With This One Weird Trick (More Guns, Duh)
It Really Sucks To Be Ted Cruz Right Now
Michigan Governor Blames 'Government' For Flint's Poison Water. Um?
RNC Fires Racist Dirtbag Magazine For Being Mean To Racist Dirtbag Candidate
Sounds Like Ted Cruz Owes Jesus Some Money
Barbara Bush Reluctantly Endorses Least Favorite Son Jeb For President
Maryland Rep Opposes DC Statehood Because Of All These Facts He Just Made Up
White House: Sarah Palin Might Be A Idiot, But Domestic Violence Is Serious Business
Stupid Michael Bay Benghazi Movie '13 Hours' Sorely Lacking In Giant Robots
Oh Hey Has Sarah Palin Checked On Her Suicidal Son Yet? That'd Be Nice
Charming Oregon Militia Dudes Totally Harmless, Except For The Murderer Maybe
God Turns His Back On Gay-Hatin' Tennessee Lawmakers
That Loser Donald Trump Sure Is Scared Of Jeb Bush, Says Loser Jeb Bush
Republicans Hate Ted Cruz So Much, They'll Blow Donald Trump Just To Make A Point
Carly Fiorina Steals Some Pre-Schoolers For Pro-Life Photo-Op
Lying Liar Carly Fiorina Lying About Jesus Now
American Hero Heads To Prison For Threatening To Kill Muslims Because Fox News Told Him To
Fox News: Barack Obama Wants To Unpoison Flint's Water Because He Is Racist, Q.E.D.
Sarah Palin: It's Obama's Fault My Drunk Son Punched His Girlfriend, For America
Sarah Palin Probably Had Good Hangover, We Mean Reason, For Quitting On Trump Rally
Ted Nugent Lonely, Would Like To See His Secret Service Pals Just One More Time
Ronald Reagan Hates That Canadian Bastard Ted Cruz
Kirk Cameron's Moron Sister Promises No Gay-Bashing On New 'Fuller House' Show
Fox News Loser Dingbat Tells Republicans To Support Trump, Or They’re All Fired
How Drunk Was Sarah Palin, On A Scale Of Burp To In Jail With Her Son Track?
Track Palin Got Drunk And Beated Up A Lady With His Gun, Allegedly
Sarah Palin Endorses Donald Trump For Emperor Of Alaska And Also Too America!
South Carolina Republican: Reporters, Go Directly To Jail, Do Not Pass Go
Montana Governor Givin' Special Rights To Them Brokeback Mountain Types Now
Washington Republican Asks Teens How Much Dick They're Getting, Totally Normal
St. Paul Cop: Go Ahead And Run Over Black Lives Matter Protesters, Just Remember To Call 911
Southern Baptist Leader Calls Donald Trump Filthy Slutty Gambling Glutton Whore
SCOTUS Smacks Down Sheriff Joe Arpaio's Fever Dreams Of Deporting President Obama
Fox News Focus Group So Mad They Can't Do Racism In Public Any More
You Know Who Had It Pretty Good? George Washington's Slaves
Marco Rubio Can't Be Bothered To Learn About Every Dumb City With Poison Water
Chris Christie Promises Kids They Can Eat All His Ice Cream For Lunch When He's President
Now Ted Cruz Fancies Himself A Kennedy, Like John Or Paul Or Ringo Maybe
Donald Trump Terrific At Saying Classiest Bible Verses Almost Perfectly
Obama Declares A State Of Disgusting In Flint's Poisoned Water
Republican Arkansas Governor To Spend MLK Day Stomping On Confederate Hearts
More Stories of Terrible Restaurant Customers, Part 2
Marco Rubio Was Locked And Loaded For Christmas, In Case ISIS Came Down The Chimney
Democrats Have Civilized Conversation About America Like A Bunch Of Grown-Ups, Lame
Join Wonkette For Another Brilliantly-Scheduled Democratic Debate
Deleted Comments: Don't You Backwardass Imbreds Understand Liberty At All?
Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxers Get Up In Mark Zuckerberg's Face, Plus Menstrual Beauty!
Male Van Driver Plays Tomato That Will Knock Your Socks Off George
Make Turkey Meatloaf Because Screw Turkeys Right In Their Gobbly Bits
Iran Releases More American Prisoners. Thanks, President Trump!
If DuPont Poisons Your Water And No One Sees, Is It Really A Public Health Crisis?
Oregon Militia Idiot Steals Gubmint Truck For Vital Snack Run, Goes Directly To Jail
Ted Cruz's Illegal Poutine Farts And Mike Huckabee's Duggar Tantrums: Your Weekly Top Ten
NRA Goon Challenges Obama To Friendly Shooting Match About Guns
True Americans Suing All Foreign Anchor Babies So They Don't Steal The Presidency
Rick Santorum Has Clever Plan To Make All The Brown People Go Away Forever
Angry Wingnut Angrily Explains Nancy Drew Is A White Lady, Dammit
Trump, Cruz Gently Ponder: Whose Momma Is A Dirtier New York Values Foreign?
GOP Candidates Promise To Shoot Gun Control Right Between The Eyes
A Heartbreaking Tale Of Obama-Hatin' Militia Buddies Murdering Each Other In The Face
Carly Fiorina's Blue Dress Caked With Extramarital Jizz Too
Donald Trump Eats Ted Cruz's Canadian Bacon: GOP Debate Liveblog
Carly Fiorina In Three-Way With Mike Huckabee And Rick Santorum ... WAIT COME BACK
Not Quite Deleted Comments: Why Is Wonket Trying To Murder People With Allergies?
Ted Cruz Hates Wall Street, Except When It Pays For His Senate Campaign
Michigan Would Like Flintians To Pay For The Privilege Of Drinking Poisoned Water
Teabagger Congressman Furious With Obama For Stealing Jesus From Teabaggers
Koch Brothers' Daddy Loved Hitler So Much He Built A Nazi Oil Refinery
Now Cancer Has Killed Alan Rickman. Screw You, Cancer
Duggar BFF Bill Gothard Sorry For Doing Rapey Sex To All Those Ladies, On Their Feets
Donald Trump Hates This Stupid Mic, And He's Gonna Kill It And Its Whole Stupid Family!
Let's Watch Donald Trump Deport Ted Cruz On Live TV! Your Republican Debate Preview.
Mike Huckabee Yells At Lady To Shut Her Stupid Face About His Poor Duggar Pals
Applebee's Customer Finds Fingertip In Salad, Is Somehow Surprised
Congressperv Steve King Happy To Shuck His Corncob Over RINO Nikki Haley
Catholic Church Messes With Texas, In Its Gun Parts
Breitbart Does Great Job Fact-Checking Obama's SOTU, Except For All The Facts
Oregon Militia Dongweasels Too Good For Free Dildos, We Guess
BREAKING: Kim Davis Did NOT Say President Obama's SOTU Speech Was 'Good'
Donald Trump Doesn't Think Megyn Kelly Is Bangable Like His Daughter Ivanka
GOP Excited Gov. Nikki Haley Is Such Brown, So Lady
Pity Obama Let Those Sailors Die In Iranian Captivity, Oh They've Been Released?
Everybody Hates Ted Cruz And His Stupid Foreign-Born Face
President Obama Asks Americans To Stop Being Dicks
Gov. Nikki Haley Gives GOP 'Obama Sucks' SOTU Response, Will Never Win Another Election
Put On Dry Panties, It's Time To Liveblog Barack Obama And Joe Biden's Last State Of The Union
The State Of The Wonkette Union Is 'Grifty'
SCOTUS Semi-Nice Time: It's Slightly Harder To Death Penalty People In Florida Now
Ben Carson Concerned About President Obama Inviting All These Muslim Terrorists To SOTU
Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Begs Big Government To Fix Water He Poisoned, Pretty Please
New York Villagers Still Love It When White Dudes Choke Native Americans
'Black And Brown' Dem Forum Claims Some Americans Aren't Even White, Pffffft
The Brutalism Of Reading David Brooks Whining About The Brutalism Of Ted Cruz
John Kasich Says Women Could Do Maternity Leave Online, If Bosses Let Them
New Governor Turning Louisiana Into Socialist Hellhole, With Healthcare
Supreme Court Fixing To Strangle Uppity Public Worker Unions Dead, Maybe
President Obama 'Bout To Run Victory Laps On Your Face! Your State Of The Union Preview.
Wonkette's Playlist Of Our Hero David Bowie, Just For One Day And Forever
Nevada Dingbat Michele Fiore Will Protect Bundy Jackholes With Her Ginormous Knockers
Republicans Lining Up To Punch Foreigner Ted Cruz Right In His Poutine Curds
Hugh Hefner Will Let You Live In His Playboy Mansion Jizz House For $200 Million
Pastor Sure Government Is Fricasseeing Aborted Children With Guns, Or Something
More Stories Of Terrible Restaurant Customers, Part 1
Settlement In Baltimore Sex-For-Repairs Suit Doesn't Include Chance To Kick Defendants In Nuts
Bundy Militia Boys Need Miracle Whip, Tampons, And Those Cakes We Like
Come Dance The Blues With With Us Because David Bowie Has Died
Sean Penn Farted On El Chapo, Lived To Tell The Tale
The Snake Oil Bulletin: Treat Your Deadly Allergic Reactions The Natural Way!
Your Weekend Nerdout: Yes, We'll Watch This Movie About Elvis Meeting Nixon
Stop Being A Child About Seafood And Eat Linguine And Clams
Jeb Bush Rekindles Campaign Excitement With Pledge To Screw The Poors
Will The Government Go All Neville Chamberlain On Volkswagen??
Texas Gov. Greg Abbott Wants To Kill The Constitution Dead. Pew Pew Pew!
Oregon Jerkwhistles, Bristol's Baby Daddy And Foreigner Ted Cruz. Your Weekly Top Ten.
Silly Goose Allen West Casually Death Threats President Obama For Grabbing His Guns
Carly Fiorina Thinks It's 'Odd' Ted Cruz Only Just Started Loving America
Ben Carson Was Going To Be Chief Neurosurgeon Of Congress One Time Too
Bundy Militia Dudes Meet With Sheriff, Will Continue War With Feds For Now
Texas Finally Addresses Severe Lack Of Access To Guns For Mentally Ill
Racist Idiot Maine Gov. Paul LePage: I'm Not Sorry 'My Brain Didn't Catch Up To My Mouth'
Hispanic Rep. Steve King Knows Ted Cruz Isn't Some Gross Foreign Mexicuban Alien
President Marco Rubio's Constitutional Convention Is Gonna Be So Cool You Guys
Missouri Republican Demands Transparency In Hot Sexing Between Lobbyists And Lawmakers
Barack Obama's CNN Gun Control Town Hall Sells A Million More Guns, Probably
Maine Gov. Paul LePage Sure Black Men Go To Maine To Sell Drugs, Sex Up White Girls
Hillary Clinton Tricks Dumbass Republican Rep. Lynn Westmoreland Into Quitting
Jeb Bush: First Is The Worst, Second Is The Best!
Restaurant Manager Rips Lick Knob Customer Into Tiny Pieces, Scatters Them To The Wind
Mike Huckabee Hates The Religious Right And Wishes It Were Dead
Looks Like Things Got Pretty Rapey At Tucker Carlson's Nice Christian Prep School
A-Hole Ben Carson Urges 5th Graders To Cast Stones At 'Worst Student'
Real American John McCain Just Askin' If Foreigner Ted Cruz Is Allowed To Be President
Oklahoma City Councilman Super Concerned About Dudes Boning In His Garage Apartment
PETA Delivers Vegan Jerky, Smug Condescension To Oregon Doofbuckets
Perjury Charge In Sandra Bland Case Means Justice System Fine, Nothing To See Here
Duggar Guru And Hobby Lobby BFF Bill Gothard Maybe A Rapist, No Big
Ann Coulter Says Canadian Anchor Baby Ted Cruz Only Fit To Be President Of Cuba
Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Rubbing His Judicial Wang All Over Gay Marriage Again
Chipotle Facing Federal Investigation For Spreading The Mega-Poops
Christian College To Fire Professor For Actin' Christlike Toward Yucky Muslims
Bristol's Baby Daddy Sticked It In Her, He Can Have Palin Cash Now?
Praise Jesus, There's Finally A Christian Mingle OKCupid Grindr For Straight White People!
One Time, Ben Carson Stopped A Carjacker, On Foot, By Being So Famous
Barack Obama Proposes A Few Minor Tweaks To Prevent Gun Deaths, Usual Freakout Ensues
Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Finally Decides Flint Residents Drinking Lead Not Such A Great Idea
White Armed Militia Dudes Are Human And They Need To Be Loved. Also Snacks
Praise God And Pass The Maple Syrup: Donald Trump Goes Birther On Ted Cruz
Jeb Bush Assures Supporters He's Not Nearly As Pathetic As He Looks Right Now
Lady Equality In Corporate America Just A Short Half Century Away, Huzzah!
Obama Will Have To Pry Donald Trump's Hairspray From His Cold Dead Sticky Fingers
Georgia Republicans Want To Gay-Bang The Gays With Exciting New Religious Freedom Laws
Megyn Kelly Was Really Barfy The Day Her Wherever Bled All Over Donald Trump
Your New Favorite Indiana Hero Wants To Arm All The Drunks, For Freedom
President Obama Cries Like A Drunk Ex-Speaker Over Dead Kids, What A Pussy
Indiana Republican Says Transgenders Can Drop Deuces In Jail
Fox News: Armed White Militia Dudes Not Thugs Because Come On, You Guys
Sarah Palin's Arizona Sex Pad Is On The Market, And Wonkette Wants It
Time For Jesus-Loving, Lady-Hating Pharmacists To Take Center Stage Again
Fox News Hardly Mentions Bundys' Latest Armed Standoff, Go Figure
New Hampshire Republican Spits Bill Clinton's Penis At Hillary, With Words
How Is Barack Obama Taking All Your Guns Away Today?
Bend Over, It's Time To Cram Your Throat With A Piece Of Gay Marriage History!
Ted Cruz Suddenly Has A Problem With Law-Breakin' Freedom Fighters, Weird
Mike Huckabee Cannot Believe He Isn't President Yet
Bernie Sanders Tells Donald Trump To Shut Up About Bill Clinton's Peen
Utterly WTF Restaurant Stories
Open Carry Aficionado Gets New Gun Stolen At Gunpoint And We Can't Stop Laughing
Bill Cosby's Wife Gets To Answer Questions Under Oath About What A Creep Bill Cosby Is
Who Are Oregon's Wildlife Sanctuary Occupiers And What Do They Want?
Donald Trump Actually Horrifying
Deleted Comments Of The Week: New Year's Moron Nuggets
Chicken Shepherd's Pie Will Put Some Hair On Your Chest And Also Other Places
Whiny MRA Jerk Babies Declare Victory Over Star Wars: Your Saturday Nerdout
The Top Ten Posts Of 2015 Will Tongue-Kiss You At Midnight, Since Nobody Else Will
Harry Reid Is Your Legislative Badass Of 2015 And For All Time
Meet Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Tehran), Your Legislative Sh*tmuffin For 2015
2015 In Rap, By A White Kid Who's Been A Rap Fan Since At Least 2014
An Ode To Donald Trump And A Peen For Wonkette: 2015's Worstest Deleted Comments