Sitemap - 2019 - Wonkette

2019: The Year We IMPEACHED THE MOTHERF*CKER

2019: The Year Devin Nunes Sued A Cow, And A Forty-Millionaire Sued US!

2019: The Year The Gun Lobby Shot Itself In The D*ck

2019: The Year We Finally Started Taking Climate Seriously. Or More Seriously.

2019: Donald Trump’s Corvette Summer of Racism

2019: Rudy Giuliani's Crazyass Year

Your 2019 Wonkette Top Ten Is Mostly Just Liveblogs And Asking For Money

Listen To Barack Obama's Year-End Playlist While We F*ck Off Out Of Here

Stacey Abrams's Org Loses One 'Fair Fight' Against Voter Purge

Ivanka Trump's Last Bullsh*t Of 2019

Rudy Giuliani Takes Break From Secret Ukraine Back Channel For New VENEZUELAN Back Channel

New York Times Sorry About Bret Stephens White Supremacist Oopsie, Definitely Won't Let It Happen Again*

Fox & Friends Know Who Real Victims Of Hannukah Attacks Are, SURPRISE It Is Christians

MEDIAITE SIREN! Lying Liar Elizabeth Warren Used 'Janitor' And 'Maintenance Man' Interchangeably

Lindsey Graham Just Wondering If Roodles The Clown Is Full Of Russian Propaganda. SPOILER, LINDSEY!

Only Two Murdered In Texas Church Shooting Hailed As Second Amendment Christmas Miracle

White House Uses One Weird Trick To Defeat Pesky Constitution

Rep. John Lewis: All Respect

John Lewis's Bad Trouble. Wonkagenda For Mon., Dec. 30, 2019

Even in 2019, We Had A Load Of Nice Things

It Just Keeps Happening: 5 Wounded In Anti-Semitic Attack In New York

Casually Homicidal Republicans Share Violent Fantasies Of Killing Us All If Trump Loses In 2020

The Internet's Most Repulsive Men Are Throwing A 'Make Women Great Again' Convention And Oh My God It's So SAD

Fox News Lady Sorry She Insisted That Home Alone 2 Edit Was A Candian Plot To 'Censor' Trump

Your Weekly Top Ten Had A Silent Night!

Hurry, Hurry, Perfesser Charlie Kirk's Constitution Class Is About To Begin!

Trump Administration To Make ACA Enrollees Pay $1 Billion In Order To Bill Abortion Separately

Hey, Remember When Nancy Pelosi Killed 45,000 Americans By Passing Obamacare?

It Is Impossible For The Impossible Whopper To Turn Anyone Into A Woman

This Is Trump's 'Real American Hero,' Eddie Gallagher

Donald Trump's Farmers On THE BEST GREATEST Food Stamps IN THE WORLD

Trump Mourns Loss Of Single Greatest Achievement: His 'Home Alone 2' Cameo

Handlers Keep Trump From Tweeting Out Whistleblower's Name, PLEASE CLAP

A Children's Treasury Of Conservatives In Hollywood

Nobody Investigated 2016 Russian F*ckery Until It Was Too Late

'Tell The Truth.' Wonkagenda For Fri., Dec. 27, 2019

Bret Stephens: To Beat Trump, Democrats Should Condemn Sister Souljah

Chuck Todd Yanks Pants Up, Demands To Know Who Sh*t On The Floor

The Red Pill Ladies Auxiliary Had A 'Submissive And Feminine' Holiday This Year

Donald Trump: What Has Two Thumbs And Kills More Birds Than Wind Power? THIS GUY!

And They Would Have Gotten Away With It If It Weren't For Those Meddling Geezers

Dentist-Rep Paul Gosar Spends Christmas With Violent Fantasies About Hillary Clinton

NY Cop Gets Stinging Wrist-Slap After Terrorizing Black Nashville Family. Still Has NY Cop Job.

New York Times: Domestic Rightwing Terrorists Now 'Alt-Gov'

Lisa Murkowski 'Disturbed,' Close To Perturbed, With McConnell's Talk Of A Sham Impeachment Trial

All Is F*ckery. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Dec. 26, 2019

A Christmas Miracle!

Dutch Court Orders Government To Cut Carbon, For The Kids

Is Nancy Pelosi A Bus? Cuz She's Taking Republicans To School

Jewdy Jewliani, Better Jew Than You!

Oh No Dok Got Huckablocked!

An Airing Of Grievances

Sleighbells Ring! Wonkagenda For Tues., Dec. 24, 2019

House Might Impeach Trump A Bunch More Times For Sh*ts And Giggles, MERRY CHRISTMAS, TRUMP!

President Sh*tmouth Breaks Wind

The $25,865 Head Cold. It's A Christmas Medical Miracle!

Here Is Something Horrible For Your Christmas Stocking!

Pastor Will Love Trump Even If He Dog-Fights On Princess Diana's Grave While Boning Non-Melanias, KNOW WHY? HERE'S WHY

Convicted Rapist Bill Cosby Still Thinks He's Better Than Eddie Murphy

FOIA Warriors Kick Trump's Bullsh*t Ukraine Explanations In The D*ck

'Christianity Today' Still Won't Accept Trump As Personal Lord And Savior, How Is That Even Christ-Like?

Good Trump Christians Know Hanukkah And Christmas Are About Nuclear War

Is Joe Biden's 'Marry Me Or Die Alone' Gambit Really All That Great Of An Idea?

For The Billionth Time, Mitch McConnell's The Bad Guy Not Harry Reid

That Crusty Ol' Mitch. Wonkagenda For Mon., Dec. 23, 2019

Recipe Hub: Wine Cakes Not Wine Caves!

Peace On Earth And Nice Things To All!

An Open Letter To Jane Lynch, RE: The Class War

A Museum In England Has A Gender Neutral Bathroom And The Federalist Is On The Case!

844 Illinois Residents Sign Petition To Get Holocaust Denier On Ballot, Swear They Did Nazi This Coming

Your Weekly Top Ten Got IMPEACHMENT For Christmas!

Whatcha Doin', Nancy Pelosi? Kicking Moscow Mitch In The Face? We'll Hold Your Beer.

Washington State Rep Just An America-Loving Domestic Terrorist, Report Finds

Nutcase Appeals Court Judges Just Voided Yr Obamacare. Should You Be Worried?

Tulsi Gabbard Is An Asset All Right

Do You Like Jobs AND Not Dying In A Firenado? Elizabeth Warren Has ... You Know What She Has

Jesus Hates Trump This I Know, For 'Christianity Today' Tells Me So

Matt Bevin, Who Pardoned A Child Rapist, Has Thoughts On 'Hymen'

Michael Cohen Asks Santa For Early Release, SDNY Dumps Load Of Coal Down His Chimney

Who Tells Trump Sweet Little Lies About Ukraine? OH, WHO THE F*CK YOU THINK?

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Disgraces Herself, Some More

Y'Ain't Ever Had Romance Until You've Met Barry, The Arby's Church DILF

Upton Sinclair Rolls Over In Grave, Is 'USDA Prime' Under New Trump Meat Rules

They Didn't Come Here To Make Friends. Wonkagenda For Fri., Dec. 20, 2019

What Time Is The Democratic Debate? It's Now, Dummy! Your Liveblog!

It's Your Democratic Debate Drinking Game, Except For We Are Afraid Of Blood Poisons!

Impeachy The Clown Mad About Senate Russian Sanctions Bill, WHAT? NO! REALLY?

Fox News, F*ck Your Feelings

Mike Pompeo Fires Ukraine Witness Because BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK

TRUMP IMPEACH FAKE DISHWASHER BAD MERRY CHRISTMAS OK ALL FINISHED BYE

DRAAAAAAAG HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. A Post About Tulsi Gabbard!

Donald Trump Digs Up John Dingell's Corpse, Flogs It On Stage

Mark Meadows Quitting Congress To Spend More Time Up Trump's Ass

Nancy Pelosi Will Send Senate Trump Impeachment Articles When She's Good And DAMN-F*CKIN' Ready

'Democrat' Richard Neal Bones 'Surprise Billing' Bill, America, You, Your Mom

Don't F*ck With Nancy. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Dec. 19, 2019

WONKETTE LISTICLE: What Is Impeachment Like, According To Dumb GOP Idiots?

Weep, Weep For Sad And Friendless Wayne LaPierre, He's Having A Real Hard Time

Ken Starr Declares Trump's Impeachment Invalid, And He Would Know

Supreme Court Justice Gorsuch Goes On 'Fox & Friends' To Do War On War On Christmas

Lev Parnas Keeps Out Of The Clink

Georgia Voter Purge Makes Strong Case For Return Of General Sherman

Impeachment-o-clock. Wonkagenda For Wed., Dec. 18, 2019

WE'RE DOING THIS. Your Impeachment Day Liveblog!

Pretty Sure Trump Wrote This Pissy Pelosi Letter All By Himself, LOL YIKES

Piss Off, Concern Trolls! It's Impeachment-Thirty!

New York Times Now 'Both Sides'-ing Measles, Whooping Cough, The Plague...

Erdogan Threatens To Recognize US Genocide Of Native Americans, Oh No, Not THE TRUTH!1!

pAUl mANAfoRT dIdN't hEArt aTtACk hImSeLf

How Sorry Is Michael Flynn That He Hired This Nutbag Lawyer?

Nevertheless, Meghan McCain Persisted (In Being An Assh*le)

Rudy Giuliani: I DID CRIMES! TRUMP KNEW ABOUT IT! WHAT YEAR IS IT? ARE YOU A REAL POLICEMAN?

Pete Buttigieg Didn't Say That

Hey, Look, Susan Collins Is Being Susan Collins About Trump's Rigged Impeachment Trial

Lie Of The Year! Wonkagenda For Tues., Dec. 17, 2019

Tulsi Gabbard Just Hangin' With Mike Huckabee, Like Regular Democratic Candidates Do

Carly Fiorina Supports Trump Impeachment, Might Vote For His Persona Anyway

There's A Perfectly Good Explanation For That $1M Russian Loan To Lev Parnas's Wife. Probably.

Russian TV Can't Stop LOLing At Putin's Special 'Agent' Donald Trump

Some Dick Won't Be Terrible Partisan Democrat No More, Will Be Terrible Partisan Republican Instead

Trumpers Remember Armenian Genocide With Solemn Screams, Fisticuffs At Adam Schiff Event

Should Justin Amash Bring His Big Guns (Hot Arms) To The Senate's Impeachment Trial?

Rudy Wanted Yovanovitch Out For Reasons That Don't Sound Like A Mob Capo At All

Impeachment: The End Is The Beginning Is The End

Obamacare Website Crashes On Final Enrollment Day, Total Coincidence, Nothing To See

Lindsey Graham Not Trying To Pretend He Loves America More Than He Loves Trump

The Atlantic Takes Us On A Terrifying Journey Into Tucker Carlson's Brain

COME ON DOWN! Wonkagenda For Mon., Dec.16, 2019

Recipe Hub: Pumpkin Swirl Cheesecake For The Golden Girl In Us All

This Must Be The Place (Nice Things Melody)

Hope You Weren't Planning On Watching Any Cheesy Hallmark Holiday Movies Tonight!

Light A Candle, Knock On Wood, Turn Around Three Times, And Spit, Because SCOTUS Is Ruling On Trump's Tax Returns

A Judge May Have Purged Wisconsin Voter Rolls, But They Still Have Same-Day Registration

South Carolina Legislator Wants The State To Pay Rent On Uteruses For Forced Births

New York Times Drops Another Load Of 'Both Sides' BS About Impeachment

Your Weekly Top Ten Is ... Oh Who Knows Anymore

Something About A Dick In The Eye, Who Even Knows!

Headless Body In Brainless Pardon

Trump Accepts Promise Of Six Magic Beans, Declares Flawless Victory In China Trade War

Melania Pretty Sure Bullying Kids Is #BeBest As Long As They're ... Famous?

PSA: Don't Take Fish Antibiotics Unless You Are A Fish. In Which Case You Are Probably Not Reading This.

Andrew Sullivan: Jeremy Corbyn Killed Labour With All His Woke Pronouns

Wanna Hear Rudy's NEW New Ukraine Conspiracy Theory? Wait, Where Are You Going?

Hey Bill Barr, Wanna Read Rudy's Dirrrty Ukraine Fantasy Novel?

Trump Maybe Won't Debate In 2020 Because Last Time They Rigged It To Make Him Stupid, Yep, That's It

NJ Anti-Vaxxers Somehow Protesting Traffic Problems In Fort Lee

Mitch McConnell Spoils Ending Of IMPEACHMENT: TRIAL BY FIRE. Hint No Witches Will Be Drowned

Border Patrol Sending All The Cubans Back To Mexico Even After They Win Asylum

Doug Collins BIG MAD About Coming To Work Today. Impeachment Vote Liveblog!

Court Hears 'What Is Definition Of Machinegun' Case, Everybody Murdered With One Still Dead

All The President's Lawyers. Wonkagenda For Fri., Dec. 13, 2019

The 856,973 Most Perfect Tweets President Stable Genius Sent Today

Matt Gaetz Wraps Impeachment Hearing Around Tree

Lev Parnas Will Guarantee The Fraud, Bring Peace To Middle East If He Can Just Stay Out Of Jail

Nikki Haley Keeps Digging Confederate-Flag-Shaped Hole For Her Dignity

Donald Trump And Two Bigot Pastors Wish You All A Merry Jewish Christmas

This Is The Best GOP Idea Of The Entire Decade, Not That There Was A Long List!

IG Will Investigate Rudy And The FBI's New York Field Office As Soon As We're All Dead

White House: Ukraine Shakedown Was Just 'Policy Process,' Totally Normal, Everything You Learned In HS Civics Class

Charmless Scold/Never-Trumper Tom Nichols Blames Liberal Protestors. Just In General.

Time Honors Greta Thunberg, Nobody Being Insane About It Even At All

Procedural BULLLLLLLLLLSH*T. Let's Mark Up The Trump Articles Of Impeachment!

'Programmatic Delay.' Wonkagenda For Thurs., Dec. 12, 2019

Feds Finally Find Mexican Voter Fraud In California. He Voted For Trump.

Oh, ADAM SCHIFF Is The Dirty Ukraine Corruption Moneylaunderer Stealer Man, GOT IT RUDES.

Donald Trump Knows Where His Jews Are

Good Thing Clint Eastwood Can't Libel The Dead

Trump And Lavrov Meet In Oval Office For A Little Reverse-Santy-Clausin', ALLEGEDLY

Bombshell: Fox News Hit With Sexual Harassment Lawsuit Wait THAT Can't Be Right!

Sad Wingnut Explains Slavery Saved Souls

Who Wants To Watch The IG Call Lindsey Graham A IDIOT? We Do, In This Liveblog!

Karma Kicks NRA In The D*ck

Miss Nancy If You're Nasty. Wonkagenda For Wed., Dec. 11, 2019

Just When You Thought You Couldn't Respect Bill Barr Any Less

Trump's Doctor 'Candy Man' Running For Congress, Tells Texas District It's Just Big-Boned

Who's Ugly Crying Now? Us, After Reading About Trump's Newest Judge

Dem Primary Polls: Voters Rejecting Bloomberg's Indecent Proposal

Supreme Court: If You Want An Abortion In Kentucky, You Have To Let A Doctor Sexually Assault You

IMPEACH THE MOTHERF*CKER ALREADY, Hey Look, We Are!

That Creep Who Keeps Running Against Maxine Waters Arrested For Stalking :/

Trump Does Putin A Favor Though In The Oval Office

IG Report Takes 476 Pages To Destroy Every Conspiracy Theory In Trump's Stupid Leaking Brain

Pelosi Advances USMCA Bill With Impeachment Pointed At Trump's Head

US Officials Lied For Years About Afghanistan, Trump Demands Arrest Of Daniel Ellsberg

Fun To Stay At The USMCA. Wonkagenda For Tues., Dec. 10, 2019

Rudy Giuliani, Your Bus Awaits

HUD Withholding Hurricane Aid To Puerto Rico Until It Investigates Joe Biden

Ted Cruz Gonna Ride That Trump Train To End Of The Line!

Taxpayers Refuse To Buy Trump Official $50,000 Of Jewelry UNFAIR!

Shocking! Liz Warren Earned Millions Of Dollars Over Millions Of Years

Insert Clever Impeachment Headline Here. Another Impeachment Hearing Liveblog!

Rude Boys. Wonkagenda For Mon., Dec. 9, 2019

Recipe Hub: Some Baked Stuffed Shrimp For Your Feast Of Seven Fishes, Or For Whenever

It Is Very Punk To Like Kittycats, Okay?

If Your Lady Is Jealous Of 'Alexa,' You Might Want To Run

Tucker Carlson Dazzled By 'Sanity' Of White Nationalist Talking Points

Alan Keyes Wants YOU To Drink Bleach (Do Not Do That, You Will Die!)

Your Weekly Top Ten's Wonkette Toddler Picture Isn't Sideways, YOU ARE SIDEWAYS

Do Us A Favor, Though: Get Wonkette Merch For Everyone On Your Holiday List

Bill Barr Said A Cussy!

Detained Teen Died Of Flu. And Of Border Patrol Not Giving A Sh*t

Aw, Rudy Giuliani Thinks He's Helping!

Nikki Haley So Sad Dylann Roof Made Confederate Flag All Racist

Lindsey Graham Openly Disobeys Trump. TREASON?

David Brooks: When I Was A Teenage Socialist

Trump Was Holding Up California's OWN MONEY For The Homeless So Gavin Newsom Told Him To Get Bent

Senate Intel Committee Knows GOP Ukraine Conspiracy Theories Are Horsesh*t But SHHHHH DON'T TELL!

President Bigly Cyberbrain Uses Unencrypted Phone, *For Privacy*

The Bad Ohio Abortion Bill Exists Because Anti-Choicers Know They Can Just Make Sh*t Up

Rick Wilson Really Bummed All Those Republicans He Helped Elect Are Traitors

Ride Or Die With Nancy. Wonkagenda For Dec. 6, 2019

Hot: That New Joe Biden Ad. Not: FIGHTING A AUDIENCE, JOE.

Naming And Shaming The 71 House Republicans Who Just Took Russia's Side In Ukraine War

Tucker Carlson Getting Sued For *Actual* BESMIRCH STATEMENTS

Donald Trump Giving 700,000 Americans The Gift Of No Food This Christmas

Nancy Pelosi Sticks Lump of Impeachment Up Trump's Stocking

George Zimmerman, Larry Klayman Team Up To Do More Evil Sh*t To Trayvon Martin's Family, DEFINITELY AREN'T RACIST

Who's Bill Barr Gotta Blow To Get Some Made-Up Conspiracy Theories About Russia Investigation For Donald Trump?

Rudy Giuliani Is In Ukraine Right Now. SURE, WHY NOT.

Loser Gov Matt Bevin Sad Black People Stole His KY Election :(

Bill Barr: Support Your Local Police. Or Else.

Next Time, Pam Karlan, Just Make Fun Of Donald Trump Jr.'s Face

The Need For Speed! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Dec. 5, 2019

Supreme Court Hears Gun Case, We're All Gonna Die

Some Asshole Sending Wonkette Stupid Letters In James O'Keefe's Name

Beto O'Rourke Doing Kickflips ... On The Texas House

Having Your Kid's Hymen Inspected Should Definitely Be Illegal

There Aren't Enough 10-Foot Poles In England For Princess Anne To Touch Donald Trump

IS 'IMPEACH' EVEN IN CONSTITUTION? House Judiciary Impeachment Liveblog, Day One!

ICE Made Up A Fake University To Trap Foreigns, Betsy DeVos SO JEALOUS

This F*cking Guy! Wonkagenda For Wed., Dec. 4, 2019

Devin Nunes Just Met You And This Is Crazy But Here's His Number CALL HIM MAYBE?

Trump Goes 0 for 4,792 With The Courts, Declares FLAWLESS VICTORY!

Kamala Harris Is Dropping Out, And That Makes Us Sad

Laura Ingraham Joins Other Conservatives In Grifting The Socks Off Their Supporters

Forgetful Trump Doesn't Even Remember His Good Friend Prince Andrew. Oh Forgetful Trump!

Meet Texas GOP Idiot Rep. Randy Weber. Chris Cuomo Just Ate Him On Live TV.

Thanks For Nothing, Rod Rosenstein!

Who Shall Build The Wall? Oh, Just Some Fox Dude Who Loves Licking Trump's Butt

Rep. Duncan Hunter To Plead Guilty To Multiple Counts Of Being Duncan Hunter

Coming IG Report Doesn't Indict FBI For Treason And Bill Barr Is Having A Sh********tfittttt

Stupidest Jim Hoft's Brother On The Internet Can't Believe We're Not Executing Democrats

'Steal The Cookie Cutter.' Wonkagenda For Tues., Dec. 3, 2019

Trump Lying About Ukrainian President Again, Wait WHAAAAAAAAT?

No, Gordon Sondland, You Cannot Have A F*cking Hug!

Shut Up, F*ck You, Gay Teen And Elizabeth Warren Not Making Us Cry, YOU'RE Crying

We Need To Talk Some More About John Kennedy's Mouthbreathing Kremlin Propaganda

Likely Nominee Joe Biden's Perfectly Cool, Perfectly Normal Weekend

GOP Lady-Gal Won't Get WNBA Lez Cooties On Senate If Georgia/FLA Idiots Can Help It

Giuliani Wanted The Corrupt Ukrainian Prosecutor To Pay Him To ... Look, It's Complicated

Steve Bullock Will Do Anything For The Democratic Party But He Won't Do That

Congressman From 'Hee Haw' Will Ride Devin Nunes's Cow Into This Week's Trump Impeachment Hearings

Kennedy & Collins: Confederacy Of Dunces

Commander in Chief? Wonkagenda for Mon., Dec. 2, 2019

Plucky Utah Fifth Graders Take On Homophobic Substitute Teacher And Win

London Bridge Terrorist Taken Down By Narwhal Tusk And Fire Extinguisher-Wielding Bystanders

In Which The Men Going Their Own Way Go Their Own Way On Thanksgiving

Wholesome American Guts: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2019

It's The Great Thanksgiving Drink-All-Day Of 2019!

Baltimore Kids Boo-Urns Melania Trump, Nation So Sad About It

DC Court Says Climate Change Prof Can Sue The F*ck Out Of National Review And Man We're Broken Up About It

Trump's New Personal Vietnam Is His Made-Up War On Thanksgiving

PLAY FREEBIRD! Wonkagenda For Wed., Nov. 27, 2019

Let Us Now Praise Famous K-Lo Recipes: Carcass Stuffed With 10 Hamburgers

Eat This Leftover Stuffing Strata For Every Meal For The Rest Of Your Life Or Until It's Gone

Rush Limbaugh's Unfortunate 'Under The Sea' Salad With Jello, Stuffed Olives, And Miracle Whip

Mamie Eisenhower Won The Cold War With This Lesbian-Soviet Hockey Rink Made Of Jello!

Nancy Reagan's Making Her Famous Thanksgiving 'Monkey Bread' IN HELL.

Betty Ford's Boozy Chocolate Cake

It's Buttercup Squash Pie For Thanksgiving, Because SHUT UP, PUMPKINS

You Want Rolls For Thanksgiving, We've Got What You Knead (GET IT?)

Put Thanksgiving In Your Mouth With Grown-Up Baked Mac And Cheese, For Grown-Ups

(PSSST *Grandma* Wonkette's Pineapple Orange Cranberry Sauce Is Better, Actually)

Put Some Food On Your Family With Aunt Wonkette's Real Cranberry Business

Did Someone Bet A Moist Papa John That He Could Not Eat 40 Pizzas?

Trump's Greatest Achievement: The Year 2020 Will Occur On His Watch

Supreme Court Might Let Trump Tell Congress, America To Get Bent

Trump Loves The Loyal War Crimers

Trump Now Drawing Sharpie-Dicks On Hero Dogs Instead Of Hurricane Maps

Another Day, Another Judge Kicking Trump In The D*ck

It Is Time To Admit That Our Entire Primary Process Makes No Damn Sense

Tucker Carlson Just 'Joking' When He Said He's Serious About Rooting For Russia Like A Common Asset

A Handy Guide For Dealing With Your QAnon Relatives This Thanksgiving

'Power That Kings Have Never Had.' Wonkagenda For Tues., Nov. 26, 2019

Devin Nunes Keeps F*cking That Turkey

Professor Bigot Says What? Anything He Likes, As Long As He's Not Discriminating IRL!

Remember That Time Rudy Giuliani Told The Truth? Nope, Us Neither.

Mick Mulvaney #BeBest At Trying To Make Trump's Ukraine Crimes Great Again

Why Did Trump Sh*tcan Secretary Of The Navy?

Rudy And The Chucklefux Were Shaking Down ALLLLL The Oligarchs, ALLEGEDLY

The Legend of Zeldin: Impeachment Time!

Russian Senators Spreading Republican Propaganda, Wait That's Backwards

Bloomberg 2020: Not *That* Rich Assh*le. *This* Rich Assh*le!

Donald Trump Hides In His Room So You Evil Gnomes Can't Steal His Magic Bag

Rick Perry Thinks Donald Trump Is 'The Chosen One,' Since Everyone In The Bible Was Also A Jackass

Aquaman. Wonkagenda For Mon., Nov. 25, 2019

Be Thankful For All The Nice Things!

Sunday Bloody Mary Sunday

Let's All Watch Elizabeth Warren's Atlanta Rally Together!

We Need To Talk About Joe Biden's Tone Of Voice And 'Likability' Factor

Seems Like The War On Christmas Starts Earlier Every Year!

Giuliani-Chucklefux-Hairball Lawyers-Dmitry Firtash Traveling Band: Now With MORE COWBELL!

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is DEAD OF LIVEBLOG!

BREAKING: Fiona Hill Smart, Devin Nunes Full Of Cow Sh*t

GOP Blows Wad Over Inspector General Report That Doesn't Say Thing GOP Says It Says

National Review Guy Argues For 'Religious Freedom' To Fire People Who Take The Pill

Sacha Baron Cohen: Mark Zuckerberg And Facebook Are The Joke

Donald Trump Does 'Fox & Friends,' Tells 88 Lies In 53 Minutes

Could Meghan McCain Please Call Her Uncle Lindsey And Tell Him To F*cking Stop?

Rudy Giuliani's Ukrainian Chucklefux Would Like To Tell You A Story

Trump Priority: Making Sure War-Criming Child Murderer Edward Gallagher Gets His Medal

The One Fiona Hill Clip You Should Cram Down Your Dumb Rightwing Uncle's Throat This Thanksgiving

Man Who Helped Immigrants NOT DIE Not Guilty Of Helping Immigrants NOT DIE

Breaking The Law. Wonkagenda For Fri., Nov. 22, 2019

Who's Colluding Whom???

Your Democratic Debate Wrap-Up Will Pretty Much Ignore The Men

Fiona Hill 'Bout To F*ck Devin Nunes UP. Impeachment Liveblog, Day Five!

News-a-Palooza! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Nov. 21, 2019

WHO IS READY FOR A DEMOCRATIC DEBATE IT IS ALLLL OF USSSSS!

Another Damn Hearing? (Impeachment Day Four Afternoon Livestream!)

I Knew A Girl Named Nikki I Guess You Could Say She Was An Email Fiend

Night Fever Night Fever You Know How To Do It

Chick-Fil-A, Last Bastion Of Christian Values, Falls To Gay Agenda, America Over

THE GORDON PROBLEM. Impeachment Liveblog, Day Four!

What's White House Press Sec Stephanie Grisham Lying About Today?

Not All Witnesses Are Heroes. (Afternoon Impeachment Day Three Liveblog!)

Trump Plucks Steven Menashi From Under Bridge, Installs Him On Appeals Court

Kamala Harris, Jerry Nadler Team Up To LEGALIZE IT

Devin Nunes Lackey Kash Patel Sues Politico For BESMIRCH STATEMENTS

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Let's Watch Republicans Sh*t On A Guy With A Purple Heart! (Impeachment Liveblog, Day Three!)

Unusual And Inappropriate. Wonkagenda For Tues., Nov. 19, 2019

WTF With Impeachment This Week And Like Such As? Let Us 'Splain You Easy!

House Impeachment Investigators To Solve Ancient Mystery Of 'Is Trump Liar?'

The GOP Has Found Its Star Witness*

2020 Dems All Socialist, Except The Ones Who Are Only A Little Socialist

Lowlife Criminal President Trump Pardons Lowlife War Criminals

Senate's Dumbest GOP Idiot Wishes Whistleblower Had Just Kept Trump's Ukraine Crimes To Himself

But How You Gonna PAAAAASSSS Medicare For All, Elizabeth Warren?

Know What This Trump Impeachment Needs? More Pay-To-Play Horsesh*t!

President Coronary Thrombosis Perfectly Healthy, Just Likes Making Surprise Hospital Visits

Witness Confirms Gordon Sondland A GODDAMN IDIOT

'Pardoning Murderers Is Good For Morale,' And Other GOP Hot Takes!

All That Junk Inside Trump's Trunk. Wonkagenda For Nov. 18, 2019

Yr Wonkette Has A Three-Month Stockpile Of Nice Things

Trump Re-Elects Democrat John Bel Edwards Governor Of Louisiana, Is There Nothing He Can't Do??

Nate Silver Unclear As To Why Democrats Are Acting Like Their Ideas Are Good Or Something

Texas To Hold Off On Executing Potentially Innocent Man

Bill Barr Is Just Like, Really Sick Of You People Being So Mean To Poor Donald Trump, OK?

New Ohio Law Would Provide Religious Students With A Safe Space From Facts

Your Weekly Top Ten Asks Unanimous Consent To Give You This Raspberry

Man Deballed By Nancy Pelosi Very Sad He Now Got No Balls

Fox Viewers Confused, Panicked As Fox Briefly Does Yovanovitch Hearing 'News'

Roger Stone For Prison 2019

Venice-Area Council Votes Down Climate Action, Gets Flooded. Not With Angry Calls, Just Flooded

Deval Patrick Had A Very Bad Week Yesterday

Masha, Masha, Masha! Yovanovitch, That Is. (Impeachment Liveblog, Day Two!)

The Gloves Come Off. Wonkagenda For Fri., Nov. 15, 2019

The 876,601 Stupidest Things Fox News Said About Bill Taylor And George Kent

We Gonna Get Some Equal Rights Amendment Up In This B*tch?

My Goodness, What CAN'T George Soros Do!

Somehow Guy Suing Imaginary Cow Not Most Embarrassing Republican At Impeachment Hearing

Meet The Neo-Nazi Dickbags Recruiting Your Dull Teenager On The Funny Meme Site!

Today We Are All This Rich Lady Suing Her Country Club Over Wine Spilled On Her $30,000 Purse

Donald Trump Jr. Now Proud Best-Selling* Author Of Bulk-Purchased Garbage Book

GOP Lawyer Steve Castor's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Turkish President Visits White House, Doesn't Even Kick One Protester In The Face

Trump Told Half A Ukrainian Arby's About His Plans To Extort Their President

Hey, How's That New Supreme Court Working Out For You?

Deval Patrick Will Make You Forget All Those Other Dudes

Revenge Of The Nerds. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Nov. 14, 2019

What's Scarier Than 30-50 Feral Hogs? How About Feral Hogs Stealing Cocaine?

Live On ALL CHANNELS, It's The Trump Impeachment! (Liveblog, Day One!)

Is Stephen Miller A White Nationalist? A Head-Scratcher For The Ages!

The Ratf*cker's Dilemma

Impeachment Day! Wonkagenda For Wed., Nov. 13, 2019

It's Impeachment-Eve-Thirty, Motherf*ckers! Let's Remember What Trump's Ukraine Scandal Is Really All About.

Roger Stone Charms Jury By Staying Off Witness Stand

Fed Society Founder Steve Calabresi Was A Dick But He Was Smart. The Daily Caller Ruined That Too

Democratic Establishment Wondering Just How Stuck They Are With Joe Biden

Donald Trump Libelslandering The DACA Kids, So That's A Surprise

Rudy's Confess-A-Crime Podcast Will Be Just Like Build-A-Bear, Except Crimes Not Bears!

Bolton Tells Mulvaney To Find His Own Mustache Ride

Oh Gee! Why Ever Would Arizona Payday Lenders Want To Ban Minimum Wage Increases?

Black White Nationalist Candace Owens Blames Obama For Inventing The Racism She Filed Lawsuits Over

Maya Rockeymoore Cummings Running To Steal All Late Husband Elijah's Legislative Badass Awards

Tulsi Gabbard Sends List Of Demands To Hillary Clinton, READ THE TRANSCRIPT!11!!1!!1!1

Mick? The Knife. Wonkagenda for Tues., Nov. 12, 2019

How Are GOP Idiots Defending Trump's Ukraine Crimes Today?

Fine Here Is Your Bloody Kurt Vonnegut For The Armistice. Pray For Peace.

Chucklef*ck Lev Parnas Is Ready To Take It Off, Take It ALL OFF For Congress

Some A**hole Keeps Hiding The 'Liberal' Books In An Idaho Library

Rudy Giuliani: The Password Is 'ASSWORD'

Donald Trump Jr. Heckled Off Stage By Trump Supporters Because God Is Good​

Do Not Make Wonkette KICK YOUR ASS For Attacking Adorkable Patriot Alexander Vindman

Every Non-Billionaire American Is A Better Person Than All These Sobbing Billionaires

Peter King To Leave Congress, No Not Steve King, The *Other* Bigot

A Gentle And Loving Reprimand For Chuck Todd, Because We Are Gentle And Loving

Elizabeth Warren Is So Angry It's Like She Knows Trump Is President

Bless Her Heart. Wonkagenda For Mon., Nov. 11, 2019

Dean Cain Sucks.

Wonkette Book Club: How Do You Undo A Dystopia?

Trumpists Demonstrate Lack Of Rhythm/Self-Awareness With YouTube Rapping Contest

Fox News Reveals Obama Did 'PC Meetings' ALL THE TIME!!!!

Nikki Haley So Sad All The Democrats Want To Send Poor Donald Trump To The Electric Chair

Ivanka Trump 'Created' All Her Own Wealth, Thank You Very Much

Should SCOTUS Judges Pal Around With Professional Bigots Whose Cases They Are Trying?

How You Like Your Weekly Top Ten's Homemade Mullet?

Lt. Col. Alex Vindman's Testimony Just Reminded Us Of Something That PISSES US THE F*CK OFF

Genius Kelli Ward: Matt Bevin Coulda Won Kentucky If Dems' Votes Didn't Count

OK Boomergate: The Roger Stone Story

Sean Hannity Seems Kinda Spooked

Are You OK, Jeff Sessions? We Don't Really Care But Blink Twice For 'Yes' Anyway

Wisconsin Republicans Kill Special Session On Guns Faster Than Most Mass Shootings

'Anonymous' Says Trump More Bugf*cking Dumbstupid Than You Ever Knew, But You Knew That Already

Another Rich Asshole From New York Runs For President

Trump Generously Volunteers To Pay Fine Imposed By Court On His Scam Charity

Remember Those Pallets Of Iraq Reconstruction $$$ Overseen By RNC 12-Year-Olds? Now They're Overseen By Mike Pence

Trump's 'Deep Throat.' Wonkagenda For Fri., Nov. 8, 2019

Some Dipsh*ts Went On 'The View' Today

Giuliani And The Chucklefux Know One Weird Trick To Make $500,000 Melt Away

Joe Biden Crowns Elizabeth Warren As Next Barack

Lindsey Graham Says Guy Who Paid Trump $1 Million For Ambassadorship Is DEEEEEEP STAAAAAAAATE!!1!1!

The Sixth Amendment For Dummies (Mollie Hemingway, Rand Paul)

Vice Calls Kamala A COP For ... Funding After-School Programs Till Workday's Done

Turns Out There's A Limit To Bill Barr's Trump Fluffery, GIVE HIM A SNAUSAGE!

Roger Stone Almost Sh*t Himself During Jury Selection. And Then It Really Hit The Fan.

Drunk At Bar Says US Oughta Invade Mexico Is What We Oughta ... Wait No It Is US Senator Tom Cotton

Confederate Monument Jeff Sessions Shall Rise Again, Run For Old Senate Seat

Ambassador Bill Taylor's Album Is Pretty Great, But The Live Show Will Be AWESOME

Stupid Is As Stupid Does. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Nov. 7, 2019

Excuse Me, What? Rapper T.I. Takes His Daughter For Yearly Hymen Exams

Commander Crimespree Will Out The Whistleblower If It's The First Thing He Does!

Ayanna Pressley Endorses Ever-Living F*** Out Of Elizabeth Warren's Plans

Devin Nunes Delivers List Of Demands Unto Imaginary Cow What Scorned Him

GOP Senators Demand Impeachment Of Hunter Biden, Whistleblower, Benghazi, Lindbergh Baby

Laura Ingraham, Baghdad Bob

LINDSEY GRAHAM HATES YOU AND HE HATES THIS WHOLE SCHOOL AND HE WISHES YOU WERE DEAD!

Sorry I Freaked Out At You Guys Last Night

Good Night, Virginia! And Good Riddance Matt Bevin!

Why Won't Democrats Work Across The Aisle????

Tom Steyer Just Found Kamala Harris's SC Voter Data Lying Around, What Is That, A CRIME?

E Jean Carroll Is Not F*cking Around

Gordon Sondland SUDDENLY REMEMBERS Quid Pro Quo He Personally Delivered To Ukraine

On Second Thought. Wonkagenda For Wed., Nov. 6, 2019

BREAKING: TRUMP SUFFERS GREATEST DEFEAT IN HISTORY OF WORLD

An Open Letter To 'Conservative Christians' Who Feel As Though The Left Hates Them And Their Traditional Values

Donald Trump Gives Prosperity Gospel Church Lady Paula White Cushy White House Job

Cover Your Babies' Eyes, Donald Trump Jr. Is On The TV!

GOP On Ukraine Ambassador's House Testimony: CRUSHED IT! (Their Testicles.)

Hero Florida County White Men Save Library From Evil New York Times

VRY SRS WaPo Op-Ed Warns Elizabeth Warren's Rise Spells DOOM!

Is One Of Rudy's Chucklef*cks About To CHUCKLE-FLIP? Whoa If Chuckle-True!

Oklahoma Just Let Everybody Out Of Jail On Purpose, What A Bunch Of Libs

No One Told PT Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham She Had To Wear Pants For This Gig

The Mueller Memos: It Was Jared & Ivanka In Croatia With The Russian Oligarch THE WHOLE TIME!

Read The Transcripts. Wonkagenda For Tues., Nov. 5, 2019

GET UP IDIOTS IT'S TIME FOR A ELECTION

Another Day, Another Court Kicking Trump In The D*ck

The Mueller Memos: RUSSIA, IF YOU'RE LISTENING! WE SHOULD BLAME UKRAINE FOR THIS!

If Richard Spencer Were Missing Teeth And Wearing Overalls, He Never Would Have Been On TV

Stephen Miller And Pence Spox Katie Waldman To Wed, Jail Children Together

NY Times Op-Ed So Scared Of A President Nancy Pelosi Plot Twist It Already Killed Off Mike Pence

Rudy's Fixers Keep Breaking Sh*t

Has Trump Been Extorting Ukraine Literally Since The Beginning Of His Presidency? Looks Like Maybe!

Trump Demands To Know Why California Hasn't Solved 'Fire'

Kellyanne Conway Hits The Wall

8Chan And QAnon Are BACK, Just In Time To Make Thanksgiving Awkward AF!

What's Up Kentucky, Virginia, Mississippi Elections? Oh, There Are Kentucky, Virginia, Mississippi Elections?

Mueller's Memos. Wonkagenda For Mon., Nov. 4, 2019

Can We Also Vote For Kate McKinnon's Elizabeth Warren?

Wonkette Book Club: A 'Handmaid's Tale' Sequel For The Resistance Years

The Devil Can Legally Turn You Into 'The Little Mermaid' On Halloween, Says 'Former Satanist'

Uh Oh! Someone Said 'Condom' On TV And Now The One Million Moms Need Their Smelling Salts

Bill Maher Now Thinking Maybe Vaccines DO Cause Autism After All

Your Weekly Top Ten Is This SPOOKY HALLOWEEN BUNNY RAWR!

Beto O'Rourke Packing Up His Air-Drumsticks And Your Diner's Countertops And Going Home

Tucker Carlson Done With Pete Buttigieg's Man Stew, Talkin' 'Bout Adam Schiff's Big Gulps Now

Hey-o, John Eisenberg, TIME TO BE FAMOUS!

Wanna See A Gay-Hatin' Bigot Baby Cry? Click Here! (This Is ABSOLUTELY Clickbait)

But How Will Elizabeth Warren PAAAAAAY For Medicare For All Oh, Like This!

GOP Witness Saves Trump's Bacon By ... Confirming Quid Pro Quo???

Missouri: Gov't Small Enough To Shove Up A Planned Parenthood Patient's Cooternanny

David Brooks Thought *Very Carefully* Before Deciding Impeachment A Waste Of Time

President Reading Rainbow Will Beat Impeachment By Confessing Crimes On TV

DOJ Fake Law Has Bad Day In Real Court

Donald Trump Declares Self Florida Man, Demands Bath Salts

Rudy Giuliani Cybered Himself Again

Court Flips Bird To Guy Whose House Police Blew Up

Whose House? Wonkagenda For Fri., Nov. 1, 2019

Who Wins Political Kid Halloween? 'Pierre Delecto,' Baby Unicorn, Or Baby Shark? (Duh, Babies ALWAYS Win)

Not Much Going On With Trump Impeachment Today, Except ALL THIS SH*T OH MY GOD

STICK TO SPORPS

Katie Hill Goes Down Fighting, And We're Not Crying, YOU ARE CRYING

Trumps Try To Shiv Biden, Wind Up Murdering Irony

Fraternal Order Of Police Afraid House Democrats Will Treat Trump Like Unarmed Black Child

'Brazilian Trump' Jair Bolsonaro Cries And Screams Like He's Being Confirmed To Supreme Court

We Will Have Whatever Mike Flynn Lawyer Sidney Powell Is Snorting

Senate Accidentally Holds Trump Impeachment Hearing, WHOOPS

Can Kamala Harris Reboot Her Campaign? Yes, She Can

Ken Cuccinelli Promises Never To Deport Sick Kids To Their Deaths, Unless He Wants To

Trump UNSTUPID Enough To Do Any Crimes He Wants, According To Trump!

I Mustache You A Question! Wonkagenda For Thurs., October 31, 2019

No Scott Walker, YOU Look Like The Empty Shelves Of Grocery Stores In Many Socialist Countries!

But Trump Thought Devin Nunes's Idiot Was Ukraine Expert! TRUMP BIG CONFUSE NOW!

Armenian Genocide? Nobody's Business But The Turks'

Meghan McCain Gives Cory Booker Rest Of What's Left Of Her Mind

Trump Impeachment Hearings Visited By Ghost Of GOP Sex Scandals Past!

George Papadopoulos Throws Douchey Hat In Ring For Katie Hill's Seat, Sure What The Hell

Fox News A-Holes Did Not Say What Fox News A-Holes Said About Lt. Col. Vindman, You Shut Your Mouth!

Nancy Pelosi Releases Her Rules For Impeachment Radicals!

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Has Scientists Over To Congress To Dish About Exxon F*cking The Planet

Told Y'all The Ellipses In Trump's Ukraine Crime Call Meant Something!

GOP Senator Wants New Taxes, But Don't Worry It's Just For Black Kids

Game Of Phones. Wonkagenda For Wed., Oct. 30, 2019.

Bill Barr SWEARS Clownshow Investigation Into Trump's Deep State Fantasies Led By Actual Grownup

NRA Just Played (True, Correct) Race Card On Itself, So That Is DELIGHTFUL

Oh Mark Zuckerberg Please Don't Ruin America (Again) -- Facebook Employees

Judge Really Sorry He Can't Make Trump Not Be A Dick To US-Liberians, But That Is 'Law'

If These Scumbags Are Calling You A Traitor Spy, You're Probably Living Right

Donald Trump Blabbed Military Secrets Again? That Can't Be Right!

Rude Trump-Booers Hit Worst People Right In The Civility

Nancy Pelosi: Oh, You Want An Impeachment Vote? Let Me Shove That Up You.

Trump Insults Chicago At Police Chief Conference, Puts Ketchup On Hot Dog

California's On Fire Again. That's How The World Is Now.

Meet Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, The Purple Heart Who's F*cking Trump Up Today!

Chicago Home. Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 29, 2019

Senate's Dumbest Republican Up To Ass In Trump-Ukraine Scandal

Betsy DeVos Contemptible, Also In Contempt Of Court

Katie Hill's Ex-Husband Wanted To Ruin Her Life With Revenge Porn. And He Won.

Badass Judge Tells Idiot Trump DOJ To FORK OVER The EVERYTHING

John Conyers Dies At 90, Leaving Behind Complicated Legacy

Nancy Pelosi Is Not Here For GOP Impeachment Pisspants Tantrums

Trump Borrows Obama's Time Machine, Gets Bin Laden Or Something We Guess

ICYMI: Rudy's Ass

Republicans Still Want To 'Ride Coattails' of President Extortion Treason

Help, Please Explain All Rudy & The Chucklefux Weird Ukraine Ties, They Are Too Confuuuuse!

Fiddling While Baghdadi Burns

They Were Not, In Fact, Saying 'Boo-urns'

'Keep The Oil.' Wonkagenda For Monday, Oct. 28, 2019

PSA: Please Don't Be A Smug Jerk About Teenagers Trick-Or-Treating This Year. At Least They're Not Shooting Heroin!

Donald Trump Personally Killed Head Of ISIS, So Suck It, Obama.

In Which Jane Fonda Gives Her BAFTA Award Acceptance Speech Mid-Arrest

Meme-Famous Anti-Immigrant Lady Arrested For Stealing An Elderly Person's Hotel Points

Justice Kennedy Was Not Good, Mayor Pete. He Was Not Good.

Trump Stunk Up This Criminal Justice Forum, So Kamala Harris Went And Got Her Own

Your Weekly Top Ten Just Waiting For A Butt-Dial From Rudy Giuliani

Tulsi Gabbard Puts On Her Robe And Her Wizard Hat

Trump Gutted Cyber Defenses, Now The FBI Needs YOU!

Wall Street Journal, Why You Lying?

Katie Hill Nakey Pix: Unlegal Or MOST UNLEGAL Or Actually Kind Of Protected?

Everyone Should Be 'Downright Rude' To Harvey Weinstein, Always

Trump Officials In Mad Dash To SPILL IT To Impeachment Investigators

Katie Hill Was In The Closet Making Babies And I Saw One Of The Babies And The Baby Looked At Me!

This Is Not America

NYT Op-Ed Just Asking: Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

Matt Gaetz And Meatball Have Stepping On Rakes Contest. The Rakes Win.

Let's Sit Quietly Together And Witness Elijah Cummings's Funeral

Kellyanne Conway Enjoys Pina Coladas, Threatening Less Powerful Women For The LULZ

Watching The Detectives. Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 25, 2019

Six Things Your Idiot Uncle Walter Doesn't Understand About The Impeachment Of Donald Trump

Watch Mark Zuckerberg Get Beaten Up By Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez And Dem Mean Girls!

Part Time White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham Just Awesome At Whatever Job Is

Does Rudy Need A Lawyer? That's A TOUGH ONE!

You Know When You Wake Up Mad At Your Wife For Something She Did In Your Dream?

Oh No Not Tim Ryan

South Carolina Super Psyched To Force Rape Victims To Have Their Rapist's Babies

Frank Bruni: Democrats Need To Talk More About Religion When I'm Actually Paying Attention

Nunes Conspiracy Stooge Kash Patel Is BACK To Work His Magic On Ukraine

Trump Says No Quid Pro Quo Because OH RATS, IT APPEARS HE'S LYING AGAIN

Trump Pardons Turkey

They 'Even Took The Chairs.' Wonkagenda For Thurs., Oct. 24, 2019

SDNY And Chicago Investigating Giuliani's Pals Together, Is That GOOD Or BAD For Rudy?

Budget Hawks Hate Agreeing With Warren, Agree With Warren

Trump Lawyers Defend His Constitutional Right To Shoot Someone On Fifth Avenue

Matt Gaetz's Moron Rebellion Leaves Mark On Impeachment Inquiry. A Skidmark.

Elizabeth Warren Scaring Billionaires So Much They're Going As Her For Halloween

Look Under Your Chairs, Fortune's Most Powerful Women! It's A Baby Kirstjen Nielsen Stole From Its Mommy.

Mo Money, Mo Problems For Rudy 'N' The Chucklef*cks

We Need To Talk More About The 'Deliverable' Trump Wanted From Ukraine

Montana High School Superintendent Won't Even Accidentally Apologize For 'Accidentally Offensive' Racist Video

Sen. Josh Hawley (Stanford '02, Yale Law '06) Sick And Tired Of Snooty Elitists Hatin' On Reg'lar Heartland Folks

A 'Go To Phrase.' Wonkagenda For Wed., Oct. 23, 2019

Bill Taylor's Testimony Is HOLY SH*T WOW And Trump Is F*CKED

Elizabeth Warren Made A Pit Stop In Chicago To Help Striking Teachers

Who Watches The Ratf*ckers?

Violent Proud Boys Will Have To Be Proud In Prison For Next Four Years

Meet Trump's Ukraine Puppetmasters: Putin, Viktor Orbán, And Dipsh*t Rudy Giuliani!

President Mathgood Will Make Polling Great Again!

Crybaby Trump Just Wants Democrats To Stop Lynching Him With Perfectly Legal Impeachment

Hooray! Trump's Golf Trips To Own Trash Palaces Almost Covered By Cracking Down On Poor Kids!

HBO's 'Watchmen' Gives Us A Hero Forged From The Fires Of The Tulsa Massacre

Hillary Clinton Not Guilty Of 'Emails,' New York Times To Apologize Real Soon We Bet

Marco Rubio Wishes Kurds Would Be Better Sports About Impending Genocide

Trump Lawyer Threatening CNN Can Eat Sh*t, Charles

Rudy Giuliani's Chucklef*ck Pals: It's A Gas Gas Gas!

The Victim Card. Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 22, 2019

Trump: DURRRRRRRRR ADAM SCHIFF WHISTLEBLOWER PHONY EMOLUMENTS OBAMA NETFLIX? OBAMA NETFLIX?!?!?!

Elizabeth Warren Gets Her Schoolmarm On

Shocking New Poll Reveals Fox News Viewers Are Brainwashed Imbeciles

PSA For Lindsey Graham: Here Are Trump's Ukraine Crimes, Since You Are Dumbass

Rudy Giuliani Says He Never Met Ukrainian Oligarch Dmitry Firtash, And You Can Take That To The Bank!

Pete Buttigieg Promises His 'Medicare For All' Plan Is The Bestest, Least Socialist One Yet

Mike Pompeo Did Not Come On This Question Show To Answer Questions!

Donald Trump Lies He Was Gonna Host G-7 At Miami Trash Palace For FREEEEEE

Mulvaney, Lying In Bed Made Of Sh*t, Demands To Know Who Said He Said He Sleeps In A Sh*tbed

If CNN Wants To Pay Someone To Be Wrong, They Could Go A Lot Cheaper Than Sean Duffy

Clearly. Wonkagenda For Mon., Oct. 21, 2019

Make Yourself Comfortable And Have Some Nice Things!

Court Rules That Anti-Choice 'Sidewalk Counselors' Can Annoy Anyone Trying To Get An Abortion In Pittsburgh

Chick-Fil-A Lasts A Grand Total Of 8 Days In The U.K. After LGBTQ Groups Tell Them to 'Cluck Off'

Meghan McCain And Tulsi Gabbard Join Hands In Spirit Of Bipartisan Annoyance

Big Pharma Paid 700 Doctors Over A Million Bucks Each. Tell Us Again How Single-Payer Is Too Pricey?

Torture Cheerleader John Yoo Is Back To Lie About The Constitution

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Too Tired To Write A Headline

Hillary Clinton Said True Thing About Tulsi Gabbard, Everybody Sh*t Your Pants!

Mark Zuckerberg: Facebook Is The Frederick Douglass Of Martin Luther Kings

New York Times Shows Softer Side Of Hungarian Authoritarianism

SEAL Commander Who Killed Bin Laden Just Saying The Republic Is Under Attack, From Donald Trump

Rep. Elijah Cummings Goes Out Swinging

Chicago's Teachers Are Mad As Hell

Rick Perry Resigning To Spend More Time With His Subpoenas

Trump Appoints Illuminati Mind Power Warrior Magic Expert To Education Board

Laura Ingraham: If Mick Mulvaney Were A Lawyer, Which He Is, He Could Avoid Confessing To All The Crimes

Who You Gonna Believe? Mick Mulvaney Or That Dumb Liar Mick Mulvaney?

President Goodbrain Brings Peace To Northern Syria, Eternal Shame On USA

'Get Over It.' Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 18, 2019

Mick Mulvaney: Trump Committed Ukraine Crimes, It Was Awesome, GET OVER IT!

Can You Read Gordon Sondland's Ukraine Testimony Without Punching A Baby? A Wonkette Self-Control Test!

Welcome, G-7 Leaders, To Trump Miami Trash Palace, Ass-Grabs And Bedbugs For Free!

Marianne Williamson Not Leaving Dem Race Until She's Tricked Into Saying Name Backwards

Adam Schiff To Whiny Republicans: CALM YOUR F*CKING BALLS

When It Comes To Bernie Sanders, America's Fact-Checkers Suddenly A Bunch Of Existentialists

Closed Door Hearings BAD NOW, Declares Party Of Benghazi/Travelgate/Fast & Furious

Nancy Pelosi Blesses Trump's Heart, As His Brain Is Unavailable For Blessing

Elijah Cummings, 1951-2019: The Gentleman Yields

Oh Sad, Looks Like Susan Collins Gonna Get Impeached (By Voters)

If Trump Didn't Know He Committed A Crime ... LOL Sorry, We Tried To Get All The Way Through That Thought

Hot For Third Grade Teacher. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Oct. 17, 2019

Trump Not Sure If Rudy Giuliani Is Literal Actual Foreign Agent ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Trump Tells Kurds To Go Pound Sand, Since That's All He's Left Them

Mick Mulvaney Is Up To His Mick In It

Trump White House ID's REAL Ukraine Treason-Crimer And It Is ... Let's Say That Guy!

Mitch McConnell Wants Pelosi To Lay Off Trump, Start Passing Legislation He Can Kill

Medicare For All Might Be Paid For With Taxes? Forget It, Let's Keep CrapCare.

Michael Flynn's Batsh*t Lawyer Has OUTDONE HERSELF

Tulsi Gabbard Brings Friend To Debate, Oh F*ck, It's Assad!

Democrats In Dem Primary Debate Beat Up On Elizabeth Warren From The Right

Thank God Donald Trump Is Protecting Us From Lost British Tourists And Their Babies

Rudy Giuliani Don't Need No Stinkin' Lawyers!

ROUND 4! Wonkagenda For Wed., Oct. 16, 2019

Who Invited Tulsi? Your Democratic Debate Liveblog!

Bombshell Congressional Testimony Gently Suggests NYT's Ken Vogel Is Bad Reporter

Hey, Can Trump Sue Adam Schiff And Nancy Pelosi For 'Bad Phone Call'? A Constitutionsplainer!

Don Junior Knows Who Is A Failson And It Is LOOK OVER THERE!

Republicans On Another Voter Roll Purging Binge

Everything You Wanted To Know About Trump's Impeachment This Week But Were Too Dumb To Ask

Good News! Cop Charged For Killing Atatiana Jefferson! Better News Would Be Not Killing Her At All

Donald Trump Takes Bold Action To Stop Turkish Invasion of Syria OK'd By Donald Trump

Fiona Hill Is Here To F*ck Sh*t Up! And She's Bringing ... John Bolton?

LOL Rudy Giuliani, It's So Much Worse For You Than We Thought!

Can Mike Bloomberg Save Democrats, His Bank Account From Elizabeth Warren?

Good Luck At The Debate Tomorrow Night, Tulsi Gabbard! (It Is Tonight)

A 'Drug Deal.' Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 15, 2019

WaPo Says Mike Pence Has A Gay Friend. CASE CLOSED!

If A Woman Wins A Nobel Prize Without A Peener, Does It Make A Sound?

ICYMI: Rudy's F*cked

Trump's Syria-Turkey-Kurd F*ckbungle, Sort Of Explained

Donald Trump's Very Excellent China Trade Deal Which Does Not Exist

Liz Cheney Knows Who's Really Murdering The Kurds, And It Is DAMN YOU ADAM SCHIFF!

Bill Barr Will Defend Religious Bigots From Heathens Who Want To Mind Their Own Business

How Dare You Say We Showed The Fake Trump Murder Spree Video, Says Trump Conference That Showed The Fake Trump Murder Spree Video

Hero Local Reporter Kicks Mike Pompeo In The Nards

'Thoughts And Prayers' To Our Kurdish Allies

Sondland Opts For The 'I'm An Idiot, And So Are You' Defense

With Friends Like These. Wonkagenda For Mon., Oct. 14, 2019

Stretch Out And Enjoy Some Nice Things!

Sorry, We Need To Cover The War Crimes Today

These Are Just Some Really Good Jams About How The Earth Is Flat And Gravity Is Not Real

Four Different Federal Courts Told Trump to Go F*ck Himself Yesterday

Ohio Can't Police Your Reason For Getting An Abortion, Says Appeals Court

Serious Media Very Concerned Elizabeth Warren Is So Awesome She'll Help Re-Elect Trump

A Children's Treasury Of Shep Smith Being Substantially Less Terrible Than Everyone Else At Fox

Your Weekly Top Ten Makes This Face When We See Rudy Giuliani On TV

Let's Meet Rudy Giuliani's Team Of Dipsh*ts, Most Of Whom Are In Jail Or Under House Arrest In Vienna Right Now

California Might Have Electricity Tomorrow, It Might Not! ​Thanks, Climate Change! Thanks, PG&E!

Get A Load Of These Cranks Who Think They're Too Good For Trey Gowdy

Tiny Ben Shapiro Threatens Beto O'Rourke With His Big, Bad Gun

At CNN Town Hall, Democrats Talk About LGBTQ People Like They Are People

Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch Is In Ur Congress Telling The Ukraine Secretz

Sorry About Your Trump Slob Picnic, Minneapolis

Lindsey Graham Got A Russian Prank Call, But They Didn't Offer Any Nakey Trump Pics :(

Senate Intel Finds SURPRISE, Trump Got A Big Boost From His Pal Putin

American Sexy Infections At All-Time High. Less Planned Parenthood, Please!

Why Is Pat Robertson Dropkicking Trump Into Hell Today, WAIT WHAT?

Nuremberg Rallies Are Back. Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct 11, 2019

46 Years Ago Today, A Crook Resigned. No, Not THAT Crook! (It Was Spiro Agnew.)

California Knows How To Party CRIMINAL JUSTICE REFORM STYLE Y'ALL

Trump DOJ Knows Who Was An Innocent Lamb And It Is Richard Nixon

Rudy Giuliani's Ukrainian Fixers MAYBE Did Crimes With US Congressman, Are In Jail

What Elizabeth Warren Environmental Justice Plan Are We Going To Debunk Tod... Wait

Why Won't Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Get A Cheap Men's Haircut, Wingnuts In Very Good Faith Want To Know!

Crazy Aunt Tulsi Gabbard Running Around Screaming 'RIGGED' Again

Oh Nothing, Just Trump Asking Rex Tillerson To Commit Crimes In The Oval Office For Rudy Giuliani

Chris Cillizza Too Much Of A Joke To Know When Hillary Clinton Is Joking

Trump: Was It Over When The Kurds Bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell No!

No Seriously Leave Her Alone. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Oct. 10

'Praise Jesus, Trey Gowdy Said YES!' And Other News From Trump's Very Smart Impeachment Lawyers

Congratulations, Billionaires! You Really Do Have Lower Tax Rates Than Everyone Now!

Nice Time! Polls Show Elizabeth Warren Looking Pretty Damn 'Electable'

Well Of Course A Bigot Science Denier Is (Acting At) Running The Bureau Of Land Management

Did Democrat Whistleblower Make Sweet Love To Elizabeth Warren Or Bernie Sanders And Put It All In A Letter To Himself? (No)

White House Declares Constitutional Crisis, Moral Bankruptcy

Matt Lauer MAYBE Even More Of Gross, Rapist Assh*le Than We Thought, MAYBE

Did Diamond And Silk Write This Impeachment Letter To Congress?

Joe Biden Has College Plan, Definitely Has Word 'College' In It!

Supreme Court Ready To Rock You, We Mean Really, Throw Rocks At You

A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall. Wonkagenda For Wed., Oct. 9, 2019

Rudy Giuliani And Lindsey Graham Gonna Impeach The Impeachers With UKRAINIAN SCIENCE FACTS!

Desperate Trump Wants To Use Polygraphs, Probably Divining Rods, To Find White House Leakers

SHUT UP! The GOP Is Not Panicking About Impeachment Poll Numbers, YOU LIE!

What Dumb Wingnut Lie About Elizabeth Warren Shall We Debunk Today?

'Non-Partisan' RealClearPolitics Has Been Secretly Providing Far-Right Memes To The Relatives You Don't Talk To Anymore

House Democrats Vow To Protect Whistleblower From House Republicans

​White House Sends Its Regrets, EU Ambassador Will Not Testify Today On Trump's Ukraine Shakedown Scheme

Sounds Like Trump's Call With Turkey Was Not Very 'Perfect' :(

How Responsible Is Kamala Harris For What Goes On At Husband's Firm On Scale Of Not At All To Hell, Naw?

Republicans BIG MAD About Trump's Syria Pull-Out, Still OK With All The Treason

Republicans Consider Thinking About Growing A Conscience. Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 8, 2019

Chuck Todd Devours Another GOP Senator, Please Sir May He Have Another?

Trump And DOJ: If The President, His Family Or Their Businesses Do It, It's Not Illegal

Mitch McConnell's Wife Elaine Chao Practicing The Art Of The Steal

Border Patrol Not Bringing Their Best. Like This (Alleged) Rapist. Who Was Allowed To Retire After Arrest.

Young Black Conservatives Follow Candace Owens Up Donald Trump's Racist Ass

Trump's Latest Immigration Bullsh*t: No Health Insurance, No Visa!

Did Turkey Promise To Investigate Joe Biden Or Something? Is That Why Trump's Pulling Out Of Syria?

Rick Perry, IT'S SHOWTIME! No, Not The Dancing Show, The Impeachment Show!

If You Don’t Stop And Look Around, You Might Miss The Impeachment. Your Sunday Show Rundown!

The Blame Game! Wonkagenda For Monday, Oct. 07, 2019

SNL's Elizabeth Warren Is Into BDSM — Bank Destroyin' And Savin' Medicare

Wonkette Book Club: Gilead Is Da Bomb

Marianne Williamson Denies Being A 'Crystal Woo-Woo Lady,' Is Still Every Other Kind Of 'Woo-Woo Lady'

Patriotic CBP Officer Held Journalist's Passport Hostage Until He Admitted He Wrote 'Propaganda'

City Thinks Cops Can Legally Murder Undocumented Immigrants

Your Weekly Top Ten Is WAKE US UP WHEN F*CKER IS IMPEACHED

BALL QUEEN.

Any Trumps Or Trump Retainers Wanna Whine About People 'Profiting' Off The Presidency?

Meghan McCain Asks Rachel Maddow If She Knows Why Fox News Is So Much Better Than Anything She'll Ever Do

​Quid Pro Qu-OOOOLY SH*T! Let's Read Some State Department Texts About Trump's Ukraine Crimes!

Elizabeth Warren Gets Her Norma Rae On. You Know, For A Change

Oh NOW You Want To Hear About The Treasury Whistleblower? Well OK!

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Does Not *Not* Say She Wants To Eat Delicious Babies

David Brooks Writes Some Dumb F*cking Thing, We Don't Know We Made Dok Read It

Trump, China Have Such Perfect Call No One Can Ever Hear It Until Heat Death Of Universe

Fox News Judge Just Saying IMPEACH THE MOTHERF*CKER ALREADY!

Trump Admits High Crimes (Again). Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 4, 2019

You Know What Liz Warren Was Missing? SEXY. Thanks Jacob Wohl And The Other One!

GOP Impeachment Plan To Dress Up Like Grandma And Devour Swing State Dems Hits A Snag

Trump Can Add 'GINA To His Articles Of Impeachment, Please?

Texas Gov Generously Offers To Help Austin Homeless. If by 'Help' You Mean 'Leper Colonies.'

Rudy Giuliani And John Solomon Very Good At Law, Journalism, Human Beingness, Sanity

Amber Guyger Sentenced To 10 Years, Multiple Hugs

Mike Pence Was Just Following Orders, Forgive Him Mother For He Has Sinned!

Jacob Wohl Knows All About Liz Warren's 24-Year-Old Marine Bodybuilder Sexworker Boy Toy, Even If She Doesn't

​Uh Oh, Did Adam Schiff Do TREASON COLLUSION With The Whistleblower's Report? (No)

Propaganda Packet! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Oct. 3, 2019

IN MEMORIAM: Fox News Dumps Todd Starnes Like An Overflowing Piss Jar

Rudy Giuliani Suing The Swamp, This Table, Your Mom

President BrainStupid Handling Impeachment Well Today

AZ Republican Shoots Self In Foot, Which Is In His Mouth, Which Also Has Poop In It, METAPHORICALLY

Hey Any Bernie Sanders News Today?

Trump's Personal Pussycat Doll Is Dumb And Wrong On The Internet!

Whatever Bill Barr Did In Italy For Trump, We Bet It Was Sexxxy Like CIAO!

Baby Cages? Child's Play. Let Trump Show You Border Wall Of Razor Blades And Zyklon B

Congress Has Had Just About Enough Of Your Sh*t, Mike Pompeo

Not Even Bill Barr Is Falling For Mike Flynn Lawyer's Bullsh*t

GOP Senator From MENSA Gonna Ban Joe Biden From Getting Hired In Ukraine EVER AGAIN!

Shoot Them In The Leg. Wonkagenda For Wed., Oct. 2, 2019

It Just Got A Little Harder To Be A Horrifying Misogynist On Reddit

Redundancy Alert Cartoon Donald Trump Is Cartoon, Redundant

Is Trump's Ukraine Treason Sh*t About Russian Sanctions? Yeah, Sure, Why Wouldn't It Be

JUSTICE For Botham Jean

Lookin' To Launder Your Ukraine Conspiracy BS? Call 1-900-THE-FEDERALIST!

Devin Nunes Sues ANOTHER Reporter Over 'Defamatory Gist' Of Moo-Cow Hit Piece, AGAIN

Yay, It's Bill Barr's Super Cool Global Carmen-Sandiego-On-Bath-Salts Tour For Trump!

Former Cop Amber Guyger Declares Botham Jean's Home Her Own Castle

New Labor Secretary Eugene Scalia Argued Employee Should Sh*t Herself At Work!

Mike Pompeo Just FORGOT He Was On That Ukraine Shakedown Call. Yeah, That's The Ticket!

LORDY, There Are Tapes? Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 1, 2019

Donald Trump Is Stupid King Lear And The Wall Street Journal Is Fools And Madmen

Kamala Harris Parodied On SNL, Doesn't Even Arrest Maya Rudolph

Bad Dumb Lady: Why Won't Greta Thunberg's Parents Stop Letting Us Hit Her?

Newt Gingrich Knows A BS Partisan Impeachment When He Orchestrates One

Kevin McCarthy, Assh*le

Donald Trump Accusing Anyone Of Treason Today? Oh Good!

Trump Gonna Have A Civil War Or A Hissy Fit, Whichever Is Easiest

No Seriously They're Investigating Everyone Who Ever Sent Hillary Clinton An Email, No We're Not Kidding

It's Getting Hard Out Here For Trump's Henchmen

'An Exercise In Obfuscation.' Wonkagenda For Mon., Sept., 30, 2019

Robert DeNiro Is Just The F*cking Best.

Wonkette Book Club: Reading Margaret Atwood in Trumpland

Did Wonkette Murder This Strange Man's Assault Cane Business? He Seems To Think So!

Beto Calls On Trump To Resign, Like That's Gonna Happen

Right-wing Conspiracists Really Want To Believe Greta Thunberg Is An Actress.

Donald Trump Murders Gun Control In Exchange For Impeachment 'Support' From The NRA. Allegedly.

Donald Trump Told The Russians To Hack Away, And It's ALL Coming Out Now

Your Weekly Top Ten FOUND A NEW BABY, LOOK AT IT

White House Worried Impeachment Will Make Trump Liddle' More Bugf*ck Dead Weight Than Usual​

Tucker Carlson Gonna Beat Up Another Gay Dude In A Bathroom, WATCH OUT SHEP SMITH!

David Brooks Frets Impeaching Trump Will Let Trump Off, As Opposed To Not Impeaching Him

We Need To Talk More About The Private Server Where Trump Hides His Traitor Secrets

Paul Ryan Only Resigned To Better Impeach Trump From Private Sector

This Is Your Brain On Rudy

US Slashes Refugees. No, Not Like With A Straight Razor. Okay Well Kind Of.

New York Times Checks In On 'Swing Voters'. Yes They Still Love Trump!

Hero Whistleblower Tried To Come Forward Weeks Ago. Then The White House Found Out.

Breaking The Law Breaking The Law!

We're 'Scum.' Wonkagenda For Friday, Sept. 27, 2019

The Federalist Doth Accuse Goody Greta Thunberg And Other 'Climate Worshipers' Of WITCHCRAFT

Who Exactly Does Rudy Giuliani Think He's Helping Here?

Trump GRRRR SO MAD! Let's Read The Whistleblower Complaint That's Making Him GRRRR SO MAD!

'Super Horny' Amber Guyger Explains Why Botham Jean Made Her Kill Him In His Own Home

Bill Barr Is Knee Deep In Sh*t. And So Is White House Counsel Pat Cipollone.

'It's A Joke!' Wonkagenda For Thurs., Sept. 26, 2019

​This Morning's DNI Hearing Gonna Drive Trump BATSH*T. A Liveblog!

Trump Crime-Bosses Ukrainian President To His Face On Live TV, Very Legal And Very Cool!

John Yoo Is Back To Torture The Constitution, Your Brain

Rudy Giuliani Can't Stop, Won't Stop. Although He Really Should STOP. Like, NOW.

Remember When Kamala Harris Made Bill Barr Crap His Pants? We Do. It Was Awesome.

Sean Duffy (R-Not In Congress) Wants To Save All The Gay Fetuses

​Trump's Ukraine 'Transcript' Is Real, And It Is BUGF*CK

Chuck Todd Did Journalism On Biden 'Ukrainium One' Story, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH CHUCK TODD?

WHAT IS THAT SHIFTY SUMBITCH MITCH MCCONNELL UP TO?

Nice Time! Elizabeth Warren Will Help Bounce Susan Collins From Senate Like She's A Drunk At Last Call

Why The Dems Finally Pulled This Car Over, So Help Them God

At Laaastttt. Wonkagenda For Wed., Sept. 25, 2019

NANCY DON'T FAIL US NOW! Your Nancy Pelosi Trump Impeachment Liveblog!

​Trump SCAAAAAAARED

Nancy Pelosi Is Ready To Rock-N-Roll, Baby!

Breaking New York Times Scoop: Trump Doesn't Care If Journalists Live Or Die

Trump Wins Nobel Peace Prize For Reading Weirdass UN Speech ALMOST Perfectly!

Joe Biden's Pollster Finds Lying About 'Medicare For All' Is The Best Way To Convince People It's Bad

White House Press Sec Stephanie Grisham Still Not Sure Exactly What It Is She Does Here

The Dam Has Broken! Looks Like Nancy Pelosi MIIIGHT Let Us Impeach A Motherf*cker!

Tennessee Will Make You Sit In The Corner Young Lady And THINK ABOUT YOUR ABORTION

The GOP Knows Damn Well That Donald Trump Ordered That Code Red

'Dictator Day.' Wonkagenda for Tues., Sept. 24, 2019

Yeah, It's Now O'Clock Time For Pelosi & Democrats To Impeach President Treason

Greta Thunberg Seeing Donald Trump At UN: More Carrie Or Firestarter?

Don Jr. And Vanky Will Decide America's Gun Policy, ThankYouVeryMuch

We Were In The Sh*t, Man! The 2019 Iowa Democrats Steak Fry, We Mean

Mike Pence Will Bring Home Michigan If He Has To Punch Every Resident In The Nuts Himself

Orlando School Cop Keeping America Safe From Cranky Six-Year-Old Girl

Rand Paul, Liz Cheney Hate Each Other, Are BOTH RIGHT

Trump Backs Down, Won't Deport Sick Kids (While Anyone's Looking)

Trump Only F*cked That Ukrainian Chicken Because He Loves America So Much

Steve Mnuchin Gonna Git Those Trump Boys ... Just Kidding, That's If He Weren't A Lying Hypocrite

All Sizzle. Wonkagenda For Mon., Sept. 23, 2019

Some Neat Stuff For A Lazy Sunday

Grifty Jacob Wohl Has Some Hot Tips On Being Manly And Whatnot

Tony Perkins Absolutely Outraged That House Dems Oppose Government Subsidized Hate Groups

Candace Owens Says We All Need To Just Chill The F**K Out About 'White Supremacy'

Trump Insists That It's Illegal To Investigate His Crimes, Figures That Everyone Will Just Go Along With It

Is Anyone Surprised That Trump Is Sending Troops To Saudi Arabia To Protect Oil?

Your Weekly Top Ten Used To Have A Black Dog But Now We Have ... Whatever This Is

Trump: NO UKRAINE CRIMES! NO UKRAINE CRIMES! OK Here Are My Ukraine Crimes.

Let's Look At Some Nice Pictures Of The Global Climate Strike!

Trump Has Secret Plan To Steal MORE Money From Troops For WALL

Moscow Mitch Does Absolute Least He Can Do On Election Security, DO NOT CONGRATULATE

David Brooks Knows Who Killed America: Elizabeth Warren, In The White House, With A Plan

RUDY GIULIANI, ARE YOU OK? DO YOU NEED TO FIND A POLICEMAN OR A GROWNUP?

Darrell Issa's Nomination To Trump Trade Job Burns Down To The Ground

FINALLY! Betsy DeVos ORDERING Universities To Remake Curricula For Jesus And Netanyahu

Rudy Sh*ts The Bed (Again)! Wonkagenda For Fri., Sept. 20, 2019

Uh Oh! Did Fox Just 'Cancel Culture' Taylor Swift?

16-Year-Old Badass Schools Congress On Climate Change

Stephen Miller Reportedly Doing Coitus

Donald Trump To LOCK HER UP San Francisco For Homeless Pollution

Tom Steyer Won't Tell You Where His Money Comes From So Please Make Him President

What Did Trump Promise To The President Of Ukraine? Or Russia? Or, You Know, Whomever?

36 Karens Agree: Requiring Schoolkids To Be Vaccinated Is EXACTLY Like Jim Crow

Who Murdered The President's Gun Background Checks Which He Totally Wanted Very Much?

Justin Trudeau Falls Flat On His Blackface

Apple To European Tax Commission: Eat Me

Those Russian Spy Houses Trump REALLY Wants To Give Back To Putin? Spied On The FBI And CIA. YEP!

Hanging On The Telephone! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Sept. 19, 2019

Ben Shapiro Is Wrong And Stupid About Pronouns, By A Doktor Of Rhetoric

Get A Load Of Robert O'Brien, Trump's Newest NSA Assh*le

Shorter CNN: 'Lie To Me, Corey Lewandowski! LIE TO ME, LIE TO ME, LIE TO ME!'

Holy Hell, This 'Back To School' Ad For The NRA Era

Kyrsten Sinema Under Attack From Arizona Democrats Who Don't Realize They're In Arizona

Acting DNI Maguire Is Sh*t Scared Of SOMETHING

Trump To MAKE CALIFORNIA SMOGGY AGAIN!

Super Normal Right-Wing Talk Show Discusses Killing Antifascists In Their Sleep

Help! We Live In A World Where 'Governor Zack Morris' Is An Entirely Plausible Scenario!

Dear Democrats: THIS Is How You Handle A Full-Of-Sh*t Clownshow Liar Like Corey Lewandowski

Ayanna Pressley Wants to Impeach Brett Kavanaugh & We're Bringing The Torches & Pitchforks

Trump Announces Exciting Plan To Turn Armed Forces Into Whores With Guns

Donald Trump Wants The Hispanics To Vote For Him, Even The Ones Who Look Norwegian

Liar, Liar. Wonkagenda For Wednesday, Sept., 18, 2019

Elizabeth Warren Is Not Afraid

Corey Lewandowski And Impeachment Hearings? RIGHT NOW? Someone Should Have Mentioned! A Liveblog.

Manhattan DA Cyrus Vance Will Take Trump's Tax Returns Now, Because THIS IS NEW YORK, BITCH

Sean Spicer Hoping Jesus Will Rig Dancing With The Stars For Him

The 'Saudi 9/11' Was Called '9/11,' You Stupid Trump A-Holes

Even Lindsey Graham Hates White Power Judicial Nominee Pud Steven Menashi

Milo's Dream De-Furred

A New Nightmare. Wonkagenda For Tues., Sept 17, 2019

CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL BEN SHAPIRO ALL ABOUT BRETT KAVANAUGH'S COCK?

Nice Time! Your Hippie 'Wind' And 'Solar' Gonna Murder Fracking DEAD

Adam Schiff Invites New Acting DNI To Bury Whistleblower Report To Congress's Face!

​And Now For Something Completely Different, The President's Brain Is Broken

Who Needs To Be Shot? Fox News Has Some Ideas!

Who Will Trump Bomb? Only Saudi Arabia Can Say.

New Brett Kavanaugh Sexual Assault Allegations? WHAT? No! Really? THE F*CK YOU SAY!

USCIS: 'Stop Us, Or More Sick Immigrant Kids Will Survive!'

MusKegon Kop Kanned For Keeping Klan Kollectibles In Krib

Rand Paul Vs. Liz Cheney: LET THEM FIGHT.

Cock Tales. Wonkagenda For Mon., Sept. 16, 2019

Come Up For Air And Have Some Nice Things

CNN Guy Bravely Sticks Up For Insurance Company Lovers Who Are Feeling Personally Attacked By Warren And Sanders

Seth Rich's Family May Now Sue The Pants Off Of Fox News, Appeals Court Rules

Anti-Vaxxer Throws Bloody Diva Cup At California State Senate, 'For The Dead Babies'

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Too Busy To Talk To You Right Now

Trump: What If We Just Did The Obama Iran Deal ... BUT STUPIDER?

Get Elizabeth Warren's Government Hands Off Our Social Security! Just Kidding, Liz, FEEL IT UP PROPER!

Russia Wants Its CIA Asset Spy Back, HECKUVA JOB, EVERYONE!

Who The F*ck Is Elizabeth Heng And Why Is She Setting Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez On Fire?

Unfunny Racist SNL Hire Shane Gillis Hopes His Non-Apology Will Save His Career

Trump's Final Homeless Solution Will Be TERRIFIC, By Which We Mean Terrifying.

Justice Department Will Get Andy McCabe, Or Die Tryin'

Meet Briscoe Cain, The Texas Rep Idiot Who Death Threated Beto Last Night. WHAT A BIG MAN!

Supreme Court Did Thing Again. It Was Not A Good Thing

Trump Loses His African-American, Now Down To A Mismatched Burlap And Pebble

DEBATE-A-PALOOZA! Wonkagenda For Fri., Sept. 13, 2019

NO CUSSING! Your F*cking Democratic Debate Liveblog

Beto, Let's Get It Out Of Our System Now: COCK DICK MOTHERF*CKER SH*T BONER ASSWHISTLE!

Now Stuart Varney's Gone And Made An Elizabeth Warren Campaign Ad, Too!

Whom Should Facebook Believe About Medically Necessary Abortions, Actual Doctors or Lila Rose?

​Is Mike Pompeo A Heat-Seeking Missile For Henry Kissinger's Ass? The News Says Maybe!

Eugene Scalia As Trump's New Secretary Of Labor? Smother Us With A Pillow, We're Dead!

Biden Guy Ed Rendell Hits Elizabeth Warren And It's ... Really? That's It?

AOC, Ayanna Hold Hearings On Sick Immigrants. Like ICE And USCIS Gonna Answer Questions From A GIRL

Jerry Falwell Jr.'s Wondercock Gonna SUE YOU SO HARD! No, HARDER!

No, THIS Is A Bad Feminist

Rudy Giuliani Took 'Blue' Anniversary of 9/11 A Little Too Literally

ROUND THREE! Wonkagenda For Thursday, Sept. 12, 2019

Michael Flynn Is A Very Serious Person With A Very Serious Lawyer

North Carolina God Damn!

The Top 9,371 Times ProPublica Caught Brad Parscale Being A LiarF*ckingLiar

Congressman Real World Pretty Sure Student Loan Crisis Caused By Kids Too Dumb For Harvard

​What's Better Than Trump's Worst Poll Ever? TWO Trump's Worst Polls Evers!

This Little Bahamian Girl Survived The Hurricane And You Already Guessed What Trump's Monsters Did Next!

FEMA Chick Very Literally In Bed With Electric Company 'Fixing' Puerto Rico's 'Grid'

Jerry Falwell Demands FBI Prosecute 'Coup' Plotters For Criminal Conspiracy To Talk Shit About Him

Trump Thinks Using Foreign Spies Is HOW RUDE!

Frottage Perv Mark Halperin REFUSES To Take His Gross Penis And Go Home

CNBC Made A Pretty Good Ad For Elizabeth Warren, CLASS WAR

Forget What? Wonkagenda For Wed., Sept. 11, 2019

Fine, Here Is Your Damn 'Todd Palin Quits Marriage Halfway Through Term' Post, YOU HAPPY NOW?

'I Know Nothing' Says Trump In Almost-True Tweet Denying Hoovering Military Money For His Hotel

Of Course Wilbur Ross Threatened To Fire All The Weather People If They Didn't Lie For Trump

John Bolton, You Are BYE FELICIA BYE!

Stacey Abrams Has A PLAN FOR THAT.

House Dems Just Curious Why Trump FORCING UKRAINE TO MEDDLE IN 2020 ELECTION

Everything About This Russian Spy Extraction Story Is Unsettling As F*ck

Did Bahamian Hurricane Survivors Get Screwed By Trump, Incompetence, Or Trump's Incompetence?

Serfs Up! Wonkagenda For Tuesday, Sept. 10, 2019

Jerry And His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcock: The Jerry Falwell Jr. Story! Allegedly!

Bill Barr Will Help Democrats Get Trump's Tax Returns, Cross His Fingers And Hope To Die!

Trump Disinvites Taliban From Slumber Party, Tells Friends They're 'On A Break'

North Carolina Will Get 2018 Election Right This Time, You Betcha!

HE'S. STILL. GOING.

Guess We'll Never Get To See 'Baby Jails: The Movie' Now

Air Force Finds Exciting New Way To Make Trump Hotels Great Again

Who Does Felicity Huffman Have To Bribe Around Here To Stay Out Of Jail?

Time For Another Edition Of 'If Obama Had Done That,' Starring Mike Pompeo!

Peace In Our Time? Wonkagenda For Monday, Sept. 9, 2019

You Don't Need A Weatherman To Know We've Got The Nice Things

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Unclear On Why She Is Not A Feminist Icon

Laura Ingraham Triggers All The Libs Who Think She Can't Drink A Steak Or Eat Light Bulbs

AZ GOP Chair Kelli Ward Just Ironically Threatening To Shoot Mark Kelly In The Head

Your Weekly Top Ten Drew Sharpie Dicks All Over This Post

WONKETTE DEFEATS THINKPROGRESS

University Of Alabama Dean YOU'RE FIRED For Tweeting While Black

Rich Lowry Just Asking WHAT ABOUT BLACK-ON-BLACK SLAVERY?????

David Brooks Stands Athwart History Yelling 'BOTH SIDES!'

Donald Trump HEREBY ORDERS Jobs Report To Be AWESOME!!!1!

Boston Judge Goes Wilding On Defense Lawyer, 'Straight Pride Parade' Counterprotesters

Mommyblogging The Ben Folds And Cake Show, By Me, A Mommyblogger!

Howard Schultz, We Hardly Knew You And We Couldn't Be Happier About That

BREAKING: Michelle Obama Was One Adorable Little Girl

ICE Lady: It's One Immigrant, Michael, How Many Anchor Babies Could She Have? Seven Million?

It's Time For Donald Trump's Daily Alabama Hurricane Watch, Starring Donald Trump!

TRUST FALL! Wonkagenda For Fri., Sept. 6, 2019

​Hey White House, Should We Keep Talking About 'Alabama' More, FOREVER? Okay.

Trump's Good Re-election Plan: Starve The Military In Swing States! Yay!

Nice Time! US Embassy Lets Palestinian Kid Back In For Harvard, Probably All Going To Be Fired Now

Trump Idiots Only Had One Elizabeth Warren Attack, And They Blew Their Wad Early :(

Devin Nunes Drops Suit Against Own Constituents To Spend More Time Suing The RICOs

Go Play With Your Fake Maps, Trump, And Leave National Treasure Debra Messing ALOOONE

CNN Did A Democrat Climate Thing And It Was Pretty Good!

Who Knew Trump's Mental Breakdown Would Involve Drawing Dicks On Hurricane Maps?

Today Would Be A Good Day For Moscow Mitch To Go F*ck Himself With A Russian Matryoshka Doll

Here Comes The Story Of The Hurricane. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Sept. 5, 2019

BEHAAAAVE YOURSELVES, It's The Dems' Climate Change Town Hall!

North Carolina Judges Piss On GOP's Election Maps Like They're On Fire!

Ben Shapiro OUTRAGED That Walmart Workers Don't Want To Die For His Freedoms

​Mike Pence Wasn't 'Ordered' To Slip Cash In Trump's Stocking, He Did It Because He Wanted To.

Texas Rep. Dan Crenshaw Thinks Guns, Like Hugs And Chlamydia, Are Better When You Share

Stable Genius Will Fix Economy He F*cked Up By ... Just Kidding, He Has No Plan

Parliament Speaker Borrows Obama's Time Machine To Englishly Channel Dead Breitbart

In The Matter Of Playboy V. White House, Judge Says Get F*cked

Congress To Hold Hearings On How Gross Trump's Yeti Pubes Really Are

Bernie Sanders And The Case Of The Absolutely True Campaign Message, You Fact Checker DICKS.

Meghan McCain Wants Her Guns And She Wants Them NOOOW

Stolen Valor. Wait, No. Stolen WALL. Wonkagenda For Wed., Sept. 4, 2019

Walmart Takes Away Walmart Shoppers' Guns!

The Category Five Storm Is IN TRUMP'S BRAIN!

How Can Mike Pence Be Anti-Gay? He Was Munchin' Beanie Weenies With A Gay Five Minutes Ago!

Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey INVENTED Blackface Trend, Way Before Poseur Ralph Northam

Texas Gunman Failed Background Check, Ipso Facto MOAR GUNZ NOW

LET'S WIN THE F*CKING SENATE

Trump Campaign Manager Brad Parscale Draining Swamp All Over His Wife

F*ckin' Right Beto's Coming For Your F*ckin' Guns

Harry Potter And The Extremely Gullible Priest

Trump The Merciful Will Now Only Deport MOST Kids With Cancer

DON'T SHOOT THE HURRICANE! Wonkagenda For Tues., Sept. 3, 2019

A Nation That Isn't Crazy About Labor Celebrates Labor Day

A Pleasing Plethora Of Puppies And Other Nice Things

Tomi Lahren Admits That Her Very Patriotic Leggings Were Made In China

So This Is What The 'Straight Pride Parade' Looks Like. Huh.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is OUT OF TOWN

​Is Trump A Russian Asset, A Stupid Idiot, Or ALL OF THEM, KATIE? Spies And Former Spies Say You Betcha!

Trump Cornholes Farmers

Maybe Donald Trump Can Explain How Killing This Woman Will Make America Great, Because We Sure Can't

Michael Flynn Would Like More Time To Prove He Didn't Do Thing He Admitted Doing In Open Court

Rudy Giuliani REALLY Doesn't Want To Talk About FBI Agents Leaking Hillary Dirt Up His Ass In 2016

Donald Trump's Hurricane Safety Tips!

Georgia Election Missing 100,000 Votes, Mostly From Democrats And Black Folks. Is That Bad?

Inspector General Says James Comey Not A Criminal, Just A Very Saucy Boy!

SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE! Wonkagenda For Fri., August 30, 2019

In The Matter Of Diamond And Silk's Very Real Lawyer v. Wonkette: Bring It, Sh*thead

Darrell Issa 'Bout To Move On Duncan Hunter Like A Bitch

Mark Levin: How Can There Be White Privilege When Obama Doesn't Even Live In The Projects?

Very Dangerous Teenage Harvard Student Deported For Having Facebook Friends

Loser Trump Wants To Win Something, Instead Of Losing All The Time Like Big Dumb Loser

Good News! Trump Isn't F*cking Over ALL The Troops And Their Kids. Just SOME Of 'Em!

Grabassery At The NRA? Fam, We Are SHOOK!

Trump Has New Idea For Building WALL: What If He Orders People To Commit Crimes For Him?

YES, PANIC.

It Gets Worse. Wonkagenda For Thurs., August 29, 2019

Next Democratic Debate (Probably) Only One Night, Thanks Tulsi Gabbard And Tom Steyer!

MAGA Hat Creeps Must Have Some Weird Kink For Getting Their Asses Kicked By Liberals

Trump Kicking Sick Kids Out Of America Now, So They Can Die Elsewhere!

Uh Oh, Donald Trump! DEUTSCHE BANK COMETH!

'Proud Boys' Terrorizing Small Children Thwarted By Heroic 'Parasol Patrol'

Appeals Court Says Minnesota Camera Bigots Don't Have To Shoot Gay Weddings, STRAIGHTS ONLY!

Ben Shapiro Has Thoughts On Slavery. They Are Gratuitously Stupid Thoughts.

Brazilian Trump Knows Only Pissing Contests With Emmanuel Macron Can Stop Forest Fires

Find Yourself A Man Who Looks At You The Way Jerry Falwell Jr. Looks At His Personal Trainer. ALLEGEDLY.

The Bedbugs Bite. Wonkagenda For Wed., August 28, 2019

Trump HEREBY ORDERS You All To Stop Talking About Bedbugs At Doral!

Susan Collins 'Sad' Voters Might Punish HER For Impending Loss Of Reproductive Rights, How Rude!

States Sue To Keep Trump From Jailing Babies Forever, Because That's Where We Are As A Nation

'Fox & Friends' Idiot Wishes Taylor Swift Would Stop Cramming Gays Down Everybody's Throat

We Need To Talk Some More About President BabbleSh*t's Humiliating G7 Performance

House Judiciary Committee Finally Lighting A Fire Under Don McGahn's Ass

Nice FEC You Got There. Shame If Anything ... Oh Sh*t, Something Happened To It.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Launches Website For Future Grifting Purposes, Whatever They Might Be!

Bret Stephens Has A Real Bedbug Up His Ass Today

Florida Teacher 'Jokes' About Blowing Up School, Wait, Why Isn't Everybody Laughing?

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish. Wonkagenda For Tues., August 27, 2019​

Stupid 'Fox & Friends' Idiot Pretty Sure If Instagram Exists, Hurricanes Can Be Shot Out Of Sky

Rudy Giuliani Is Just Asking Questions

Jim Bakker's Friend Here Had Quite A Vision About Donald Trump As A Bloody Goat!

Florida Creep Who Killed Black Man Over Parking Spot Will Now Stand His Ground In Prison

Trump Would Like To Charge Admission For Next G7, NO GROUPONS PLEASE

Guess Who's Coming Back To Terrorize Immigrants Some More? It's F*cking Joe Arpaio!

Trump Declares Victory In All Trade Wars, HEREBY ORDERS Stock Market To Rise

Trump Bumblef*cks His Way Through Another G7, DO NOT CONGRATULATE

Stable Genius Gonna Nuke Hurricanes With Literally Invisible F35 Airplanes, It's Just Science

We Don't Need No Stinkin' FTC!

Larry Kudlow Is Bad At This

INCONCEIVABLE! Wonkagenda For Mon., August 26, 2019

We've Got More Nice Things Than You Can Shake A Stick At!

Kim Davis Is Back And Losing All Of The Lawsuits

Some Good Advice From 1998: Don't Talk To Strangers, Especially If They Have Mustaches

Trump Now Claiming He Is Not The Messiah After All

Trump Gave A$AP Rocky An Offer He Couldn't Refuse. He Refused.

Racist Michigan Lady Unable To Get Town On Board With Her Dream To Keep It White

GMA's Lara Spencer Laughs At 6-Year-Old Boy Who Likes Ballet Because She's Terrible

Your Weekly Top Ten Is A TODDLER DRIVING A WONKEBAGO

Tomi Lahren Debuts Athleisure Line For The Woman Who Wants Yoga Pants That DON'T Hate America

Sure Seems Like This Ridiculous Racist Lady Shouldn't Be Teaching Law At Penn

​KING TRUMP HEREBY ORDERS Hahahahahahahahahahaha Shut Up

Yr Wonkette Says Only Good Things About The Dead. David Koch Is Dead. Good.

The Three Stupidest Things Fox News Said Yesterday (Only Most Of Them Were Brian Kilmeade)

All These Democrat Criminal Justice Reform Plans Is A COP!

New Sarah Huckabee Sanders Has History Of Plagiarism And DUIs, She Sounds #BeBest

The DOJ Sent An Anti-Semitic Rant From A White Nationalist Site To Every Immigration Court Worker In America

Overstock Dude Says He Only Pretended To Bone Russian Spy Maria Butina For Love Of Country

'Remain Calm!' Wonkagenda For Friday, August 23, 2019

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Hired By Father Of (Trump's) Lies

I Ate The Melon So Delicious It Maybe Killed A Pope One Time

The Amazon Is On Fire. Bummer If You're A Fan Of Oxygen.

Very Shocking New Poll Shows Anti-Abortion A-Holes Mostly Just Hate Women

Right-Wing Meme Site Fast Becoming Premier Destination For Would-Be Abortion Clinic Bombers

Moscow Mitch Writes Love Song To All The Senate Norms He's F*cked Before

New Trump Rule Will Keep Migrant Families Together -- In Jail! Forever!

Who Put The Dumbass Greenland Idea In Trump's Head? This Dumbass Did.

Don't Get Assaulted By Nazis Or You Might Lose Your White House Press Pass

Jay Inslee Ends Campaign To Spend More Time With Planet

Other People's Money. Wonkagenda For Thurs., August 22, 2019

House Democrats Just Wondering If Someone In Munch's Shop Messed With Trump's Tax Audit

If Joe Walsh Primaries Trump, Will We Stop Calling Him A Deadbeat Dad?

If Trump Is Really God's 'Chosen One,' God's A Dumbass

Ted Cruz So Mad At New York Times You'd Think It Called His Wife Ugly

Cake Or Death? Donald Trump Chooses DEATH, PLEASE!

Trump Can't Have Greenland, So Denmark Can't Have Trump, NEENER NEENER!

Trump-Loving Neo-Nazi Arrested After Threatening To Mass Murder All Spanish Speakers

Pesky Employees Demanding 'Paychecks'? There's An ICE For That, Maybe!

'King Of Israel.' Wonkagenda For Wed., August 21, 2019

Totally Real News Outlet 'Epoch Times' Loves Trump, Falun Gong, Heterosexual Healing, And Just Floating Right There Up In The Air

DOJ <3 Discrimination Against Trans People

Facebook, You Stupid F*ckup. (This Is A Clickbait Headline.)

She Don't Lie She Don't Lie She Don't Lie SPOKANE

Let's Talk About Kamala Harris's Awesome Rally Playlist, Some Other People's

Elizabeth Warren WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE ... Oh, She Just Did!

Trump: America So Rich, Please Send Bailout!

Tucker Carlson Returns With Fewer Advertisers And More Evil Abortion Lies!

Say What You Will About Anthony Scaramucci, But He's Driving Trump BUGF*CK

Conservatives Don't Want Their American Fantasy Spoiled By 1619 Project's Lying Reality

FEC Head Tells Trump To Knock Off The 'Voter Fraud' Bullsh*t

Believe In Me. Wonkagenda For Tues., Aug. 20, 2019

'Veggie Tales' Creator Ain't Gonna Put No Godless Gay Green Beans On His Christian Vegetable Show

How Mike Pompeo Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love Sticking His Nose Missile Up Trump's Butt

Conservatives Terrified New York Times 1619 Project Will Remind Black People Slavery Existed

Elizabeth Warren Has A New Deal For Native America

Trump In Love Spat With Billionaire Buddy Tom Barrack

Pretty Sure Diamond And Silk Are Black White Nationalists

If It's Sunday, President Whine-Stupid Gonna Whine On Twitter ALL DAMN DAY

Mark Halperin Puts Penis To Paper For New Trump Book No Decent Person Should Buy

Florida NRA Lady Weeps For The Little Tiny Children's Guns

NRA Accuses Ex Partner Of Forcing Unwanted Eyeliner On Poor Susan LaPierre

Larry Kudlow Says We Are In No Way Gonna Have a Recession Soon

How Much For The Little Gun. Wonkagenda For Mon., Aug 19, 2019

Take A Break With Some Nice Things!

This Is Just A Very Good Video Of A Coyote Pup Getting Rescued By A Chicago Guy Who Swears A Lot

Internal Memo Tells Republicans To Respond To Far-Right Violence With 'I Know You Are But What Am I?'

Ben Shapiro's Daily Wire Tries To Steal From Indie Artist, Lands In Dumpster Fire

Everyone's A Winner In Wonkette's Mayor Pete Buttigieg Merch Contest!

Your Weekly Top Ten Got Some Socks With Bees On 'Em

Trump Is F*cking Gross, Episode #456,286,057

DADDY, I WANT A GREENLAND AND I WANT IT NOW!

Log Cabin Republicans Endorse Trump, Because They Like Getting Punched In The Face

A$AP Rocky Did Not Thank Trump For Getting Him Out (?) Of Swedish Jail

Appeals Court: All God's Children Get Soap

It's The Wonkette Primary! (For Voting On Pete Buttigieg Merch)

Trump Gonna LOCK HER UP! Mentally Ill Folks Now, So That's Hitler-y

Oregon Dem Gov. Kate Brown: RECALL THIS, MOTHERF*CKERS

Corey Lewandowski Will Make Sweet Extramarital Love To Senate Race, F*ck Congressional Subpoenas

GOP Fine With Philly Cops Getting Shot, Because Gun Lives Matter

NYT On Elizabeth Warren: No We Can't!

How Much For The Little Island. Wonkagenda For Fri., Aug. 16, 2019

What Is This, Devin Nunes? A Farm For ANTS?

Netanyahu Rolls Over For Trump Like Pomeranian With Stiffy, Waits For Treat

New Bill: Maybe Cops Shooting To Kill Could Be A Last Resort?

Corey Lewandowski, Who Has Absolutely No Skeletons In His Closet, May Run For NH Senate

Ben Shapiro Absolutely Nails Audition To Play Blair In 'Facts Of Life' Reboot

Nancy Pelosi Calls Moscow Mitch By His Name

'Black Friends' Forgot To Vet Holy-F*ckballs Racist Video For NYPD Union Boss

John Hickenlooper, We Didn't Even Know Her!

Republicans Shocked SHOCKED At Steve King Saying That Part Out Loud

Deport Melon. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Aug 15. 2019

Milwaukee Teens Do Anti-ICE Art, Freak Out The Squares

Can't Scare This Dick, He's Sh*tting On The Union

Steve King Wants To Thank Rape And Incest For The Wheel And Lightbulb

Jesus Must Be So Proud Of Texas's Alarming Cervical Cancer Rates

Poor Wayne LaPierre, People Won't Stop Dropping French Country Chateaus On His Head!

Bill Barr: Fascism Is Freedom, And Resistance Is Futile

Creepy Threats From Jacob Wohl? That Can't Be Right.

You Guys, The Fifth Circuit Ruled *For* The Welfare Of Indian Children

Protesters In Hong Kong Are Sorry For The Inconvenience

Trump's Taxpayer-Funded Trip To Hump A Fracking Well In Pennsylvania

'Chiudi La Bocca' Is Italian For 'Shut Your Mouth,' In Case Ken Cuccinelli Was Wondering.

VROOOM. Wonkagenda For Wed., Aug. 14, 2019

Trump Suckup Bill Mitchell Pulls Grifty Bait And Switch, Shocking Several

Hong Kong Splainer. Spoiler Alert: They're Better Than Us

Ken Cuccinelli Somehow Just As Bad At Poetry As He Is At Immigration Policy

Billionaire Other Tim Ryan Pays Voters $10 Million To Pretend To Like Him

Trump Hates The F*ckin' Eagles, Man

He Moved On China Like A B*tch, But He Just Couldn't Get There

Chris Cuomo's Name Isn't 'Fredo' So Watch What You Say

Nice Liberal Man Here To Tell You Trump Isn't The White Supremacist He So Obviously Is

How Are America's Gun Jerks And Terrorists Keeping Us Safe This Week?

That Pervert Sumbitch Epstein Will Not Leave!

John Cornyn Really Really Really Really Really Really REALLY Doesn't Want Beto To Run For Senate

Suck It, Baldy! Wonkagenda For Tues., Aug. 13, 2019

Draw Us A Pete Buttigieg, Win All The Prizes!

Anthony Scaramucci Taps Out ... Long After The Ref Called The Match

Stephen Miller Finally Gets 'F*ck The Poors' Immigration Rule He Always Wanted

God Really Shouldn't Have Told This Lady With No Medical Degree To Go Run A Clinic In Uganda

​Uh Oh, Something Went Boom In Russia

Donald Trump REALLY Doesn't Want You To See His Tax Returns

FiveThirtyEight: Is Any Democrat Man Enough To Challenge Ubermensch Trump?

Cut That Epstein Conspiracy Sh*t Out Right Now!

Elizabeth Warren Has A Plan To Make Shopping At Walmart Less Shooty

Racist Trump Loves Racism, Hates Being Called Racist (Womp Womp, What A Racist!)

Border Patrol Guy So Dumb Even Chuck Todd Can Dunk On Him

Boom. Wonkagenda For Mon., Aug. 12, 2019

All They Owe Ioway: Scenes From The State Fair

All Days Are Dog Days. Arf!

Bill Maher: Champion Of Mediocrity

The Week In Garbage Men: Isn't Lipstick Just Like Wearing A Boner On Your Face?

Trump To Fight Fake Social Media Censorship With Actual Social Media Censorship

Jeffrey Epstein Was Trash And Now He's Dead.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is DEVIL

Some Republicans Not Sure What The Cowf*ck Devin Nunes Is Even Doing These Days

What Do Millennial Snowflakes Know About Fascists, Shootings, And Death? A Idiot Asks, We Answer!

Filibuster! Joe Biden Don't Even Know Her!

Andrew McCabe Is Back To Discovery The Sh*t Out Of The FBI

Right-Wing Site Falls For Fake 'Marxist-Leninist-Alinskyite Construction Worker' Op-Ed

​Sue Gordon's Resignation Letter To Trump Is Best 'F*ck You' Since ... Wait, Who's Sue Gordon Again?

Trump Apparently DID NOT Call For White Supremacist Mass Shooters To Go Down Fighting

In Case You Haven't Heard, We're Impeaching The Motherf*cker

The 2019 Puerto Rico Governor Hunger Games Have A Winner! (For Now)

Oh Were These Election Systems Not Supposed To Be On The Internet? Oh Dear.

FINALLY! Wonkagenda For Fri., August 9, 2019

Don McGahn, You Are TELL IT TO THE JUDGE!

Fox Guest: Mass Shootings Are What Happens When Boys Can't Have Manly Dreams Of Going To Mars

Montana Super-Patriot Protects US American Flag By Fracturing 13-Year-Old's Skull

Jared Kushner Officially More Dumber Than Father-In-Law

ICE Raids Leave Kids All Alone In Mississippi Streets, America Very Great

Trump In Dayton And El Paso Comforts And Consoles ... Himself

Tucker Carlson: Everyone Just Calm Down & Wait For The Race War

White Cops Just *Hate* Don't-Be-Racist Training

All Wayne LaPierre Wanted Was To Play Marie Antoinette On The Charity Dime!

They're The Kids Of America. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Aug. 8, 2019

Who Said It? Donald Trump Or Neo-Nazi Derek From American History X?

Dumbf*ck Baby Trumper Grifter Headed To The Hoosegow!

Elizabeth Warren Has A Plan For The Rural Jurors

Who The F**K Is Editing The New York Times? Is It Us? Is It You?

​Whatcha Doin' Down There, Mike Pence?

Siri, Who Is The Governor Of Puerto Rico?

If Tucker Carlson Doesn't Believe In White Supremacy, How Can He Believe In Himself?

ARE YOU NOT COMFORTED EL PASO AND DAYTON?

Is Joaquin Castro Trying To Kill You?

Nice Time! Philly DA Breaking Innocent People Out Of Prison!

Strzok Strikes Back

Florida (Congress) Man Gonna Sniff These Bath Salts And Argue About Climate Change

We're Still Talking About Guns. Wonkagenda For Wed., Aug. 7, 2019

​Jason Isbell Gonna Set 30-50 Feral Hogs On Ben Shapiro Now

The Truest Eye. Toni Morrison, 1931-2019

President Yap-Stupid Workin' Hard Today, Just Kidding He's Hate-Tweeting At Clouds

Stock Market Sick Of Winning

Oh, You Thought Kellyanne Conway WASN'T Going To Blame Obama?

Beto Said A Cuss, And The Daily Caller Is TELLING!

New York Times: Where Are The Responsible, Moderate White Supremacists?

Guns! Guns! Guns! Wonkagenda For Tues., Aug. 6, 2019

America's Last Legitimate President Addresses Nation After El Paso, Dayton Terror Attacks

PragerU Spreading Absurd Lies About Trump's 'Very Fine People' In Charlottesville

Kentucky Politics: When They Go Low, We Go Lower!

'President' Will Stop Mass Murders With WALL

Who Is Mass-Murdering Everyone All The Time? 'Diversity.'

Republicans SHOOK About Texas. No, Not The El Paso Attack, It's Something Else.

Black Republican Will Hurd Plans To Make GOP More Diverse By Leaving

Some Garbage On El Paso And Dayton Shootings That People Said, Out Loud, With Their Mouths

We Are All Beto O'Rourke Saying WHAT THE F*CK, JESUS CHRIST, OF COURSE TRUMP'S A RACIST!

Devin Nunes Campaign Sues Farmer For Alienating Cowpoke Congressman's Affections

Trump Inspiring White Supremacist Terrorists? Well That Could Not Be!

'What The F**K?' Wonkagenda For Mon., Aug 5, 2019

Everything Is Terrible And We Could Use Some Nice Things

Can We Just... Can We Have Gun Control Now Please?

Unions Are Not Super Happy About Being Told They Hate Medicare For All

Nancy Pelosi And Ilhan Omar Go Back Where We ALL Came From

Oh Boy, Laura Loomer Is Running For Congress

Your Weekly Top Ten Says GOODBYE, JOHN RATCLIFFE, GOODBYE!

Kamala Harris Is Too Queen To Notice Tomi Lahren & Her Stupid Apology

QAnon Way Ahead Of You With Conspiracy Theory About FBI Calling Their Conspiracy Theories A Domestic Terror Threat

WaPo Fact-Checker: Cory Booker On Trump Stealing Michigan Is Biggest Liar Since Barack Obama

Golly, So Many Voter Purges After Supreme Court Declared Racism DOA!

Manhattan DA Takes A Bite Of Trump's Big Apple

Chris Cillizza Worried Kamala Harris Just Too Angry A Black Woman To Be POTUS

If It's What You Say, Tulsi Gabbard Loves It, Especially Later In The Summer

David Brooks Has Seen The Future, And It Has A Jade Egg In Its Nethers

What Are Moscow Mitch's Old Staffers Doing In This Story About Kentucky's Russian Aluminums? That's Weird!

Stable Genius Wows Stock Market By Tweeting Us Into A Trade War

Lindsey Graham Breaks Senate For Very Good Reason: So We Can Lock Up Children Forever

99 Red Balloons! Wonkagenda For Fri., Aug 2, 2019

Get In Losers, We're Going To Canada

Roger Stone's Lawyers Are TRYIN' IT! (And Failing.)

House Dems All Jumping On Impeachment Train Like 'CHOO CHOO, MOTHERF*CKER!'

Lose Your Group Home License, Get A $4 Million Contract To Open A Baby Jail

How I Would Moderate The Democrat Debate By Me, Laura Ingraham

Trump: World's Best Economy Ever! Also Trump: I Can Has Bail-Outs?

Told You CNN Would F*ck Up The Debates

Josh Hawley's SMART Act Is So Goddamn Dumb

No-Show Coal Baroness Kelly Craft Is Your New UN Ambassador!

Breaking: Ronald Reagan Just As Racist As We Always Knew He Was

Stop It With Your Marianne Williamson Stanning, She Is Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad

Big Ball Of Violence. Wonkagenda for Thurs., Aug. 1, 2019

VANQUISH THEM, KAMALA. Your 27th-Night-In-A-Row Democratic Debate Liveblog!

What Fox News Questions Will CNN Ask Tonight?

Medicare For All Vs. The Unions Is Some Made-Up Nonsense

Claire McCaskill Sh*ts Bed, New York Times Guy Lies In It

National Cathedral: Racist Donald Trump Better Get Right With GOD!

House Republicans All Quitting Congress Now, Something Something DEMS IN DISARRAY!

Trump Judge Attempts Triple Axel Case Avoidance Jump And Falls On His Ass

Haha Suckers Who Thought Family Separation 'Ended'

Billionaire Tom Steyer Needs Your Money To Attend Presidential Fantasy Camp

Elizabeth Warren Has A Plan For Hiding John Delaney's Body, After What She Did To Him Last Night

Scott Walker's BACK And He's Ratf*cking Michigan!

A Lawsplainer On The Nihilist Supreme Court Declaring Trump King

Talk Nerdy To Me! Wonkagenda For Wed., July 31, 2019

Let's See How Hard CNN F*cks This Thing Up: Your Democratic Debate Liveblog!

Abandon Hope, There's Another Democratic Debate Tonight!

Dems Can Win If They're More Like Warren G. Harding. Good Call, New York Times!

Which Of These Terrible Trump Songs Is The Least Terrible?

Trump Wants To Break ONE TINY LAW To Install Ass-Kissing Acting DNI, Is That So Bad?

Ted Cruz, Rand Paul Want To F*ck Grandma Millie In The Ass, We Mean Give 'Her' A Tax Cut Without Even A Vote

Mark Meadows Is A Donald Trump-Shaped POS

MOSCOW MITCH MAAAAD!

Immigration Roundup: Oh, Like A Roundup Of Stories And Also We Are Rounding Up *People*, Isn't That Fun?

Trump Jerks Trying To Outlaw Sunshine, Happiness, Scabby The Rat

Alan Dershowitz, Your Life Is Calling!

Russian Assh*le. Wonkagenda For Tues., July 30, 2019

Donald Trump Was The 9/11 First Responder Of Donald Trump's Dreams

I Was A Dick To Kamala Harris, By Not Wonkette

Donald Trump Gets Mighty Touchy When A Black Man Threatens To Sue Ivanka, Huh?

Kamala Harris Healthcare Plan Is A COP. Just Kidding, It's Pretty Good Actually

Can Ilhan Omar's GOP Challenger Steal Her Seat Like She (ALLEGEDLY) Stole 279 Items From Target?

​Russia Still Leads World In Poisoning, Falling Off Buildings, And Being Beaten To Death 'Accidents'

What's Worse Than Devin Nunes As DNI? This Dumb Dick Right Here

Trump Suspects Obama Colluded With Russia To Wreck White House AC In Exchange For Book Deal

Welcome To Gilroy

Buncha Assholes Defend Trump’s Racism-Infested Tweets

This Just In From Baltimore: Donald Trump Is A Filthy Racist

He's Still Going. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 29, 2019

South Dakota Forgets What 'Public' Means, Forces Schools To Put Up 'In God We Trust' Signs

Ice, Ice, Baby: Ursula Le Guin's 'Left Hand Of Darkness'

People Are Having Some Very Intense Arguments About Who Is Allowed To Go To Disneyland

Unfair Posse Comitatus Rule Won’t Let Trump Have Police State Of His Dreams

Jerry Nadler Whipping Up Some Delicious Peach Mint This Weekend!

We Have Met The Shitferbrains, And They Are Us; Or, The Monsters Are Due On Wonkette Street

Trump Spends Morning Calling Baltimore 'Disgusting' And Crying About Elijah Cummings 'Bullying' Him.

Idaho Republican Explains 'Diversity' Is Bad For America, Because Cows

Your Weekly Top Ten Is READY FOR IN-PEACH!

Rudy Giuliani Will Be Lucky To Get Custody Of Both His Old Man Balls In This Divorce

Peggy Noonan Shall Not Be Surrendering Herself To The Pronoun Guillotines Just Yet

Fox News Judge Gently Implies Trump Is Ginormous Pig Racist

David Brooks: White Democrats Be Like ...

Trump Yells At Sweden For Keeping His New Black Friend In Jail

Kamala Harris Is President Of Making Trump Republicans Sh*t The Bed

How Drunk Is Meghan McCain RIGHT NOW, On A Scale Of Palin To Wonkette To Dana Rohrabacher?

Imagine If Your Stalker* Was Larry Klayman

Ilhan Omar Did A Sarcasm, Wingnuts Outraged

Senate GOP: We Don't Need No F*ckin' Election Security! Also Senate GOP: Here's How Russia Attacked Us In 2016

Viva Puerto Rico!! You Did It!

Mitch Better Have My Money. Wonkagenda For Fri., July 26, 2019

Let's Wonk On CAP's Public Option Thingy!

test twitter video upload

Nancy Pelosi Innnnnching Toward Impeachment, WE THINK!

Oh Boy! Jordan Peterson Wants Us Ladies To Go On A Maternal Adventure!

Kellyanne Conway So Sad That Robert Mueller Is 'Feeble,' Confused, Probably Dead

Clintons Murdered Jeffrey Epstein, But He Got Better

Are Chuck Todd And Maggie Haberman Gaslighting You About The Mueller Hearings? Click Here To Tell Them To F*ck Off!

Deutsche Bank Discovers Possible Downside To Doing Business With Convicted Pedophiles

Judge Tells Stephen Miller To F*ck Off, Again

'The President Radicalized Me' Now A Legal Defense For Terrorists

Get Up Stand Up. Wonkagenda For Thurs., July 25, 2019

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Will Dance On All Our Graves

FBI Director Christopher Wray Wants YOU! To Stop Being A White Supremacist Terrorist!

Let's Talk About Trump's Russian Shitshow! Mueller Liveblog Part Deux

Trump Begs Court To Protect His Sacred First Amendment Right To Cheat On His Taxes We Guess

Tulsi Gabbard Says Kamala Harris Lacks Foreign Policy Chops To Kiss Assad's Ass

Mueller, If You're Listening... Wonkagenda For Wed., July 24, 2019

Sh*t Your Pants, Trump, It's Mueller Time! A Liveblog!

HOUSE INTEL COMMITTEE, IF YOU'RE LISTENING: It's Manafort. It's Always Been Manafort.

Trump In His Majestic Equality Axing Food Stamps For Rich And Poor Alike

Devin Nunes Might Get To Be 'Director Of National Intelligence.' That's The Punchline.

Who's Got The Grooviest Pot Policy -- Kamala Harris Or Uncle Joe Biden?

Is It Racist To Rely On Racism To Boost GOP Turnout? It's A Headscratcher!

We Have A Budget Deal, So Everything's Beautiful, For Now

Department Of Justice Having A F*cking Cow Over Robert Mueller's Testimony, So That's Telling

Puerto Rico Gov. Ricardo Rosello, Take A F*cking Hint!

Trump And Republicans Having 'Be Racist To Squad' Contest. SPOILER: America Loses!

ICE Don't Need No Stinking Judges

Whose House? Wonkagenda For Tues., July 23, 2019

Anna Wintour Has Some Things To Not Say About Melania Trump

Jane Mayer Thinks We Don't Feel Bad Enough For Al Franken

All You Need To Know About The Robert Mueller Hearings, Aside From MAYBE YOU SHOULD READ HIS F*CKING REPORT

Paul Krassner Is Up In Heaven Now

Sen. Ron Johnson: Remember The '60s, When Expressions Of Racist Fascism Were Cool?

Chris Wallace Sh*ts All Over Stephen Miller, So That's 'Sad'

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott Saves Bigot Chicken Sandwiches From Gay Hordes

It's Mueller Week, And SOMEBODY Is Already Sh*tting His Bathrobe!

Rudy Giuliani's Ukrainium One Scam Is SO FETCH!

Alan Dershowitz's Legal Theories Ain't Got No Panties On Either

They're Still Going. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 22, 2019

You Won't Feel Neutral About These Yummy Swiss Chard Rolls!

Chill Out With Wonkette's Book Club And Le Guin's 'The Left Hand Of Darkness'

Let's All Try To Wrap Our Brains Around This Incredibly Stupid Argument For The Electoral College

It Sure Is A Big Weekend For Sending Violent Right-Wing Extremists To Jail!

Trump Retweets Notorious British Racist Katie Hopkins In Order To Prove He Isn't Racist

Your Weekly Top Ten Is READY FOR MUELLER!

Elijah Cummings Just Asking SDNY If There's Anybody's Ass He Ought To Beat Right Now (Hint Hint!)​

Friday Nice Time: Watch Rand Paul Run From Hero Reporter Like His Neighbor's After Him!

Sen. Josh Hawley Reaches Out To The Neglected American Herrenvolk

Trump Judicial Nom Accidentally Followed The Constitution Once, So He's (Probably) OUT OF HERE!

Hey Hope Hicks! Jerry Nadler Would Like To See You In His Office.

CNN Reveals Lineup For Next Separate But Equal Democratic Debates

Elijah Cummings, AOC Tapdancing On Assholes' Faces Again

Alan Dershowitz Ain't Got No Panties On

Ay! What The F*ck Is Going On In Puerto Rico?

​President Tenderhearts So Upset Those People Chanted 'SEND HER BACK,' That's Not Christlike

'What Does That Mean?' Wonkagenda For Fri., July 19, 2019

No Bail For Epstein, Who Won't Be Using That Pedophile Bugout Bag After All

Yep, Michael Cohen Is A Criminal. Sounds Like His Boss And Hope Hicks Are Too!

Elizabeth Warren Has A Plan To Fix Wall Street And Kick Mitt Romney Square In The Money-Dick

Meghan McCain Frets Trump Getting Ilhan Omar Killed Will Inconvenience Meghan McCain

Want To Stalk Someone? All You Need Is $300 And A Dream!

Ronald Reagan Wasn't The Martin Luther Rosa Parks Jr. Conservatives Think He Was

Trump Fails To Gag Planned Parenthood

Rand Paul Forgot 9/11

Look At These Vile White Supremacists. Then Tell Us It Can't Happen Here.

NPR And Trump's 'Racist' Tweets, By Me, A Doktor Of Rhetoric!

Secret Agent Rand Paul Reporting For Duty!

'Like Air, I'll Rise.' Wonkagenda For Thurs., July 18, 2019

If Trump Says Somebody Called Him 'Sir,' He's PROBABLY Talking About His Imaginary Friend

Eric Garner's Death To Go Unpunished Forever Not With A Bang But With Bill Barr

Could We Maybe Not Have Actual Nazi Richard Spencer Opining About Racism On CNN?

Joe Biden To Humiliate Rival Trump With Feats Of Old Man Strength

Are AOC And The Gals The 'Four Horsewomen Of The Apocalypse'? Wonkette Investigates!

Wonkette Stole This Samantha Bee Interview With Tammy Duckworth Before It Could Even Air!

Alabama GOP Senate Candidate Says Less Buttsex, More Gunsmoke, PEW PEW PEW!

Mark Sanford Gonna Run Against Trump Because He's Got A Humiliation Kink

Roger Stone Violates Gag Order, Blames FBI, Deep State, DNC

Nancy Pelosi Now A Libelsome Guttermouth And Trump A Gentle Innocent Lamb Of Kindness, Goodness And Love

Central Illinois Goodwill Will Now Graciously Let Disabled Employees Work For Free

Donald Trump And Jeffrey Epstein Are Two Wild And Crazy Guys!

Racist In Chief. Wonkagenda For Wed., July 17, 2019

Sh*t, Devin Nunes Found The Collusion! It Was HILARIOUS ZINGERS The Whole Time!

Kellyanne Conway Denies Trump Wants Ethnostate, Asks Whether Reporter Is Hutu Or Tutsi

Ninth Circuit Kills Clean Water Act Conviction To Save Clean Water Act

Julian Assange Knew EXACTLY Who He Was Working For When He Ratf*cked The ​2016 Election For Trump​

AOC And 'The Squad': Focus On Trump's Racist Bullsh*t Policy, Not His Racist Bullsh*t Tweets

Daily Stormer's 'Troll Storm' Of Jewish Woman To Cost Neo-Nazi $14 Million. My, Isn't That Sad.

Karen Tumulty Wants Obama To Stop Goofing Off, Save Us From Trump RIGHT NOW

Elizabeth Warren Has A Plan For Trump Border Goons Who Abuse Babies For Trump

Michael Flynn Cooperates With Feds By ... Blowing Up Their Case Against His Partner!

Ben Shapiro Pretty Sure Black Lady James Bond Not The James Bond Ben Shapiro Likes To Fap To

'Vile, Hateful, And Disgusting Things' Wonkagenda For Tues., July 16, 2019

Trump Says His Racism Is Cool, Because Many Racists Agree With Him!​

Bianca Devins Was A Beautiful Girl. A Man She Trusted Murdered Her. That's The Story.

Jeffrey Epstein, Stay In Jail!

Trump Doesn't Like Our Asylum Laws, So What Asylum Laws?

​SDNY, Are You OK? Blink Once For 'Yes,' Blink Twice For 'Bill Barr'

COME ON.

Mike Pence: The Border IS FINE, Also DEMOCRATS' FAULT

What This Dems In Disarray Story Needs Is Some Garbage Polling. Take It Away, Axios!

Beto O'Rourke Has Slave-Owning Ancestors, Weirdly Does Not Blame Obama

President Grand Wizard Spends Weekend Being White Supremacist, Oh Golly Gee WHAAAAAT?

Borderline Psychopath. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 15, 2019

It's Turtles All The Way Down. And Kitties.

Excuse Me, There Is A Time Traveler Running For President And I Need To Know More Please

Let's Meet The Trump Administration's New Acting Secretary Of (Sweatshop) Labor, Peter Pizzella!

Tennessee Gov. Honors First KKK Grand Wizard With Holiday, Says He's Just Following Orders

Candace Owens Has Seen Real Racism And It's Ayanna Pressley & Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Your Weekly Top Ten Has Wonkette Kid AND Wonkette Grandbaby Pics!

Pour A Few Gallons Out For The Trump Cabinet Fallen

​Kamala Harris Says Trump Can't 'Perform.' SHE DIDN'T MEAN HIS OLD GROSS DICK, YOU STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

Alaska Governor Now Murdering Head Start, Medicaid, Universities

​Robert Mueller Testimony Maybe Delayed Because Oh My God Democrats, Get Your Sh*t Together

The One Million Moms Having Massive Heaving Panic Attack Over, Uh, Toy Story 4

Alex Acosta, You Are GET THE F*CK OUT

Ahead Of ICE Raids, Nancy Pelosi Says KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!

Kirsten Gillibrand Schools A White Lady

Sadsy The Clown Bitches About His Twitter Follower Count

Judges: Who Can Sue Trump? How About Nobody? Does Nobody Work For You?

Is Jeffrey Epstein Even A Billionaire?

Barr And Trump's Flawless Victory Getting Their Asses Kicked On Census!

Like A Rocket. Wonkagenda For Fri., July 12, 2019

​ZEE TRUMP NAZI ISS VERY ANGRY AT ZEE SOCCER LADY!

Trump On Census Will NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER, NEVER ... Mind

Meet The Commanders Of Mike Pompeo's God Hates Fags Commission On 'Human Rights'!

Hi Here's A Dem Plan To Not Torture The Children, Can We Do That? Yes? We Can?

Paul Ryan Whispers From Beyond Political Grave: Trump Bad Maybe, Is That Okay?

Who Need To Come Forward? GIRLS!

Meet Robert. Robert Wants To Be Governor Of Mississippi. OH NO, EVERYBODY THINKS YOU'RE F*CKING ROBERT NOW!

Glass Half Nice Time: Full 40% Of GOP Say Don't Torture The Little Children Who Come Unto Us

Oh, To Be A Fly On The Wall At Trump's Internet Troll Pity 'N' Paranoia Party Today!

Sorry, Not Sorry! Wonkagenda For Thurs., July 11, 2019

Megan Rapinoe Spent 24 Hours Drinking Champagne And Punching Conservative Men In The Dick. YAY!

NICE TIME! We Found You Some Socialist Free College And It Is In ... TEXAS???

We're Sure Michael Flynn's Clown Lawyer Blew Up His Cooperation Agreement For Very Good Reason

Trump's Twitter Account Is Creating A Constitutional Crisis, Because Of Course It Is

Betsy DeVos Tells Us What A Spiteful Dick She Is, In Her Own Words!

Mollie Hemingway Wants You To Know Christine Blasey Ford Was A Big Slutty Drunkerson

Tucker Carlson Manages To Out-Racist Tucker Carlson In Rant Against Ilhan Omar

White House Officials See Epstein Child Rape Silver Lining: Sh*tcanning Rivals, Terrific!

Of Course There's Sexual Abuse In Trump's Concentration Camps. Did You Assume There Wasn't?

​Subpoena-Thirty Just Got A Li'l Bit More Interesting, Motherf*ckers!

Mitch McConnell Wants To Know When Obama Will Apologize For Owning Slaves

Trump Plan To Defy Courts On Census Runs Smack Into ... Judges!

The Jerk. Wonkagenda For Wed., July 10, 2019

Ross Perot Dies, May Return After Daughter's Wedding

New Trump Census Plan: Let's Just Do It And Be Legends!

Bill Barr Unrecusing From Investigation Into His Boss's Pedo Pal Epstein, So That's On Brand

​Sounds Like Sean Hannity's Seth Rich Source Was 'Russian Spies,' Ha? Ha?

Donald Trump THE GREATEST Environmentalist, Everyone Knows That, Mostly Donald Trump

Fox Feeling #Blessed That So Many Americans Work Multiple Jobs And Will Never Retire

Tom Steyer To Spend $100 Million To Become Just Another Tim Ryan

Black Birthers Bothering Kamala Harris With Basic Bullsh*t

Kris Kobach Files For Senate Run, DQ's Self From Voting According To Kris Kobach

Today Is A Good Day To Tell Bill Barr To Go F*ck Himself

Time To Demand Obama's College Grades Again

Ghost Of Zombie Of Undead Obamacare Repeal Going To Some Sh*tbird Appeal Court Now!

CONTEMPT. Wonkagenda For Tues., July 9, 2019

Another Country Called Trump A Dumbass, Can Somebody Please Fetch His Inhaler?

'Pro-Lifers' Don't Think Veterans Deserve In Vitro Treatments, Because 'Pro-Life'

Trump Idiots Know Who To Blame For Trump's Baby Jails: DEMOCRATS!

Florida Principal Keeps Open Mind On Holocaust, Lets Brain Fall Out

SDNY's Got Your 'Massage' Right Here, Jeffrey Epstein!

Democratic Primary Deathwatch 2020: Eric Swalwell's Campaign Sings Final Torch Song

Donald Trump Just Wants A Little Squirt (Of Purell, You Perverts!)

No Filthy Baby Jails, No Filthy Baby Jails, YOU'RE The Filthy Baby Jails!

Can't Disobey A Supreme Court Ruling On The Citizenship Question If ... Oh F*ck It

Fox News Made Donald Trump Sad, Aren't You Sad For Donald Trump Too?

Pelosi & Dowd: Two White Chicks Gabbing About Concentration Camps Over Brunch

WALL Vomit Blorb Hurckle Plompf. WALL. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 8, 2019

We Have A Lot Of Nice Things For You People

Creepy Billionaire Pedophile Jeffrey Epstein Arrested On Sex Trafficking Charges

Internet Racists Think The Black Little Mermaid Is White Genocide

Demented Trumpist Invents Assault Cane With Which To Bludgeon All The Flag Burners

Your Top Ten Is Fashionably Late, OK? FASHIONABLY.

Happy Saturday! Let's Watch Elizabeth Warren Talk, Because That's Always A Good Time

Trump's Single Finger Salute To America

I Think It Was The Fourth Of July

Happy Birthday America, Trump Got You This Constitutional Crisis

Who Run The Polls? GIRLS

Teen Vogue: Wanking Is Magic

Meghan McCain May Leave 'The View' To Spend More Time Screaming And Crying At Her Family

Oh No, BuzzFeed Is Being A Gay Homo-Fascist Again

Pour One Out For The GOP, Latest Casualty In NRA Civil War

The Racist Census F*ckery Is Dead! We Think! For Now!

SEX COOKIES.

House FINALLY Gets Off Its Ass And Sues For Trump's Tax Returns, In The Name Of Jesus Christ

Everything About President Dickless's TANKS GO VRRROOOM! Fourth Of July Party Is Pathetic, Illegal, Or Both

Homeland Security Inspector General Would Like A Word About The Baby (And Grownup) Jails

Diamond & Silk Know Who Did Slavery, KAMALA HARRIS

​Straight Pride Dipsh*ts Receive Glitter In Mail, Call The Cops

This Is What Democracy Looks Like? Wonkagenda For Wed., July 3, 2019

Looks Like Our First Dem Campaign Deathwatch Is Already Underway

WTF Happened With Mike Pence's Airplane Ride Today? It Would Be Irresponsible Not To Wildly Speculate!

Accused War Crimer Eddie Gallagher Goes With 'Framed By Millennials' Defense

Brian Kilmeade: Won't Somebody Think Of The Trump Concentration Camp Guards' FEELINGS?!?!?!

President Lock-Up-The-Children Has Surely Great Solution For Homeless Crisis

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Frightens Tough Border Patrol Racists In Screamfest That Never Happened

Erick Erickson Leads Oppressed Christians Through The Valley Of The Shadow Of GAYS! OH F*CK! GAYS EVERYWHERE!

Can't Nobody Tell Me Nothing! Wonkagenda For Tues., July 2, 2019

WaPo Fact Checker's New Bernie Sanders Category: TRUE BUT I DON'T LIKE IT

Louie Gohmert Has Thoughts About The Anal Opening. Louie Gohmert. The Anal Opening. Gohmert.

Bret Stephens Did A Racism, Which Means Soledad O'Brien Is The Real Racism

Kamala Harris Dances Her Ass Off At San Francisco Pride, Is President Now

Donald Trump Throws Himself Under Joe Biden's Bus

Some People Think Ivanka Trump Is Awesome And Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Isn't, Which Is Why You Shouldn't Care What People Think

Duncan Hunter Boned Lobbyists, Staffers, For AMERICA

One Small Step For Trump, One Giant Step On A Rake For All Mankind

The Helpful Republican's Guide For Democrats

Celebrate Trump America With The Trump July Trump Fourth Trump Washington Trump DC Trump Golden Fireworks Trump Show!

Call Me Maybe. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 1, 2019

A Summery Summary Of Nice Things

In Which Junior Briefly Attempts To Accuse Kamala Harris Of Not Being A Black Person

Will This Murderous Neo-Nazi's Life Sentence Help The Right Realize That Running Over Protesters Is Not Actually Legal?

Jeff Flake Flakes Out On Jimmy Carter For Calling Trump 'Illegitimate'

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Your Weekly Top Ten, What More Do You Want?

Rex Tillerson Reveals What It Was Like To Work For The 'Fucking Moron'​

David Brooks Wants To Know Why Dems Can't Just Nominate A Nice Republican

Happy Friday, The President Is A Traitor Again

Congratulations To Tulsi Gabbard And Andrew Yang, Winners Of The Troll Polls

Kamala Harris Upsets Dem Primary By Rudely Revealing She's A Black Woman

Marianne Williamson, Queen of the Moon People

Roger Stone's Lawyers Say Lock Steve Martin Up!

Kamala Harris Shows America What She'll Do To Trump, If You'll Let Her

Nancy Pelosi Decides Not To Let Trump Shoot The Baby Hostages

Time For Fake Lawyerin' Friday, With Larry Klayman And Jerome Corsi!

Here We Go Again! Wonkagenda For Fri., June 28, 2019

Liveblogging The Democratic Debate Or HGTV Or Whatever's On Tonight, We Don't Know

SCOTUS Shoves Census Up Trump's Ass

The President Raped Who? What's That? Oh Right Well ...

Brian Kilmeade Not Sure If Spanish Speakers Like Being Spoken To In Spanish, ¡ES UN MISTERIO!

How Donald Trump Built The Border Crisis On Purpose, For Fun And Profit But Mostly For Hate

Chief Justice John Roberts Loves Him Some Ratf*ckin'!

Alabama Now Prosecuting Pregnant Women For Getting Shot By Other People

Republicans Watching Dem Debate Think It Would've Been Better With Republicans

Trump Loves The Troops, Gonna Deport The Troops' Families

Tulsi's Night Of Triumph, Or The Opposite Of That: Highlights From The First Democratic Debate!

Oregon Republicans Take Ball, Go Home, Throw Away Ball, Get Wins For Rest Of Season, Demand Payment For Ball They Stole And Games They Didn't Play, And Get It

IT HAS BEGUN! Wonkagenda for Thurs., June 27, 2019.

Elizabeth Warren Presents The Democratic Nice Smart People Debate Jamboree Plus Tim Ryan And Tulsi

Donald Trump Is Out Of His F*cking Gourd Today

Literal Hundreds Of Gunhumpers Won't Have NRA-TV To Hump Their Guns To, Anymore :(

Elizabeth Warren Has A Plan For ... Oh, Just Fixing Democracy!

Arizona Sen. Martha McSally Can Win Election If She Just Can Avoid 'Opponents'

If It's What You Say, I Love Robert Mueller Testifying, Especially Later In The Summer!

Trump Probably Vetoing House Border Funding Bill, Because It Mandates The Babies Get 'Blankets' And 'Food'

People Going Bugf*ck Insane About The Kiddie Jails Going Bugf*ck Insane FOR WRONG REASONS.

Chicago Waitress Spits On Eric Trump, No Free Cheese Plate In Sight

Trump Will Now Murder Iran For Hurting His Feelings And Calling Him 'Retarded'

100 Refugee Kids Rescued From Clint, Texas, Turned Around And Sent Back To Clint, Texas

Jay Sekulow Vomits Lies Into Sean Hannity's Hungry Mouth

Guess Who's Back? Wonkagenda For Wed., June 26, 2019

SH*TSHOW COMETH! Your Double-Header Democratic Debate Sex-travaganza Preview!

So Hero Congressman Duncan Hunter Has A Lust For Life! Is That So Wrong And Also Illegal! (Yes)

Things It Is Okay To Compare To The Holocaust (If You Are Not Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez)

Beto O'Rourke's 'War Tax' Somehow Dumber, More Offensive Than It Sounds

​Meghan McCain Says Trump Baby Jails Not That Bad Because HAVE YOU MET HER FATHER THE GHOST OF JOHN MCCAIN?

FOX NEWS: Media Only Reporting On Baby Jails Because Democrats Want Them To

Bill O'Reilly Can't BELIEVE You Think America's Original Recipe Had Racism In It

Trump Says Millionth Woman To Accuse Him Of Rape Simply Too Ugly To Rape

Trump Says Millionth Woman To Accuse Him Of Rape Simply Too Ugly To Rape

US Moves 300 Children From Sh*tty Border Jail To New Sh*tty Border Jail

Chuck Grassley Here To Unskew The Economy

Judges Say Trump Abortion 'Gag Rule' Super Legal And Super Cool

Not His Type. Wonkagenda For Tues., June 25, 2019

It’s Not Your Grandma’s Knitting Anymore -- If Grandma Is A Trump-Loving White Nationalist Dickbag

What Part Of NEVER AGAIN Don't We Understand?

Mayor Pete Buttigieg's Amateur Night

Bill Maher: Batty, 500

Oregon Cancels 'Making Laws,' Thanks To Militia And AWOL Republicans!

Don't Faint! Turns Out President Best People's HR Process Was Epic Clusterf*ck!

Another Day, Another Tim Ryan Running For President

Mike Pence: The Banality of Evil

Peggy Noonan Watched Chuck Todd's Trump Interview, Thinks That Trump Kid's Got MOXIE!

Trump The Merciful Delays Immigration Goon Squads

Kamala Harris Ready To Prosecute Trump's Thirsty Ass RIIIIGHT NOOOOW

Paul Manafort's Sexxxxy Texts With Bigboy Journalist Sean Hannity

Takesy-Backsies. Wonkagenda For Mon., June 24, 2019

It's Cows And Cows And Cows And Cows, And That's A Nice Thing

Some Dingus Named Kyle Is Dragging Gwen Verdon In The National Review.This Will Not Stand!

Yr Wonkette Is A Card-Carrying Member Of The ACLU, And Vice-Versa, We're Sure!

Republicans Absolutely Do Not Care If Trump Raped Someone, And They Never Will

Justin Fairfax Wants To Be The Governor Of Accused Rapists Everywhere

Your Weekly Top Ten Gonna Go Jump In A Lake

Trump Nazi Gonna Decide Who's A Rabbi Now, OK Sure Whatever

Washington Examiner Will Teach New York Times To Journalism Gooder

Marianne Williamson: America's GOOPiest Presidential Candidate!

Oregon Republican Knows How To Protect Environment, And That Is ARMED STANDOFF

Trump Pulls Out, Fox Left Unsatisfied

Laura Ingraham Is An Accidental Racist, Again

Kamala Harris's French Fries Are BREAKIN' THE LAW BREAKIN' THE LAW

Dial M For Mohammed Bin Salman (And Also Murder)

Hope Hicks Can't Answer That, But Holy Crap, The Stuff She DID Answer! A Liveblog!

Incels Are Mad Because Air Force Briefing Got Their Precious Memes Wrong

Roy Moore 2: Kiddie Grabber Boogaloo

'Endless Wars.' Wonkagenda For Fri., June 21, 2019

Mexican Standoff At The NRA

​The Good, The Bad, And The SHUT UP YOU LIAR: New York Times Gets To Know The Democratic Candidates!

No Soap For You!

Coming (Or Not!) To Coastal Areas Near You, It's The Flooding Mitigation Lottery!

IT'S NOT A F*CKING REALITY SHOW, MISTER PRESIDENT

Donald Trump Awards Medal Of Freedom To Art Laffer? REALLY?

President NoFriends Had Another Live TV Therapy Session With Sean Hannity

Outraged Christians Demand To Speak To Netflix's Manager About Amazon Prime's 'Good Omens'

Kamala Harris Gonna Buy You A Job

Mitch McConnell Knows About Reparations? Well Congress Happens To Have Ta-Nehisi Coates RIGHT HERE

Trump And Mike Pompeo Are WEAPONS-GRADE Lying About Iran Right Now. GET MAD.

Trumpists Claim Dictator Who Sexually Tortured Women With Live Rats 'Did Nothing Wrong'

It's A Solar Panel For A WAR MACHINE! Wonkagenda for Thurs., June 20, 2019

Here's Elizabeth Warren Yelling At Big Banks, In Case You Were Confused About That!

Hope Hicks Is Not Allowed To Answer That

Non-Alex-Jones Lunatics Lose Lawsuit On Whether Sandy Hook 6-Year-Old Ever Existed

Joe Biden's Strange Strategy: Praising Segregationists, Promising Rich People He Won't Hurt Em A Bit

Happy Pride! Trump Got You This Federal Judge Nom Who Hates Gay People, Birth Control, Non-Christians, Joy

​Turns Out 'When Did You Stop Beating Your Wife?' Is Pretty Fair Question For Senators To Ask Trump Nominees

Gloria Vanderbilt Died, Which Means It's Time For CRAZY Q-ANON SH*T About Gloria Vanderbilt!

Donald Trump Kicks Off 2020 Campaign With Solemn Vow To Defeat Hillary Clinton

Mitch McConnell Has Thoughts About Reparations. They Are Humble, Generous Thoughts Just Kidding!

Trump's Sugar Daddy Has Lost That Horny Feeling

It's Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Vs. Liz Cheney. Topic: Concentration Camps. 2019 Is TERRIBLE.

Florida Man Plays Greatest Hits. Wonkagenda For Wed., June 19, 2019

Someone Got European Socialism All Over Frank Luntz's 5-Star Hotel!

Swing And A HOLY SH*T! Acting Defense Sec Shanahan Out After SWEET JESUS!

How We Doin' On That Green Energy Thing? Better Than You Might Expect!

It's OK To Treat Trump Like A Russian Agent. The Pentagon Does.

Trump Promises To Deport ERREBODY, Because What Part Of INSANE FASCIST FREAKSHOW Don't You Understand?

Alex Jones Being Very Reasonable About The Child Porn In His Emails, Hardly Threatening Anyone's Life At All

Yeah, Nobody's Gonna Shut Up About The Racist Who Didn't Get Into Harvard (The Real Racism)

America Stopped This Dangerous Baby, So Everyone Can Breathe Easy

​A Brief And Jaunty Stroll Through President Yap Stupid's Manic 1 AM Twitter Episode

Officer Friendly: Stop RESISTING Racist Cops' Hella Wicked Memes And Such!

Are You Voting For Joe Biden Because You Think Your Sexist Neighbors Will Vote For Biden? Let’s Talk!

Deputy Attorney General Jeffrey Rosen Is Paul Manafort's New Prison Concierge

Skip Straight To The Baby Goats. Wonkagenda For Tues., June 18, 2019

House Intel Republican Just Saying Trump-Style Election Crimes Are Awesome Now

Oh Dear, Glenn Greenwald Pulled A Glenn Greenwald Again

Mitch McConnell Hates Democracy Because It's 'Socialism,' Who Knows, It Made No Sense

Want To Watch Ruth Bader Ginsburg Kick The Virginia GOP In The Jimmies?

Tom Cotton, Mike Pompeo Have A War In Their Pockets, Are Happy To See You

The 546,872 Most Bugf*ck Moments In George Stephanopoulos's Interview With President Bugf*ck

Trump Sick Of Winning, So He Stopped

Trump Wants To Run On Healthcare In 2020. Well, If He Insists!

Hero Phoenix Cops Rescue Dollar Store Doll From Terrified Family At Gunpoint

NICE TIME! Court Won't Let Anti-Abortion Nutjob Lock Up The Pregnant Teenage Girls

What Is Bill Maher Wrong About Today?

'Fake Polls.' Wonkagenda For Mon., June 17, 2019

Your Father's Day Nice Things Is Just Ugly Ties All The Way Down

Elizabeth Warren Scaring The Bejesus Out Of Trump Campaign Now

Julián Castro: GET THE LEAD OUT!

Democrat Betsy Sweet Wants To Boof Susan Collins From Senate

Your Weekly Top Ten Got So Many Wonkette Kid Pictures, You're Gonna Get SICK OF Wonkette Kid Pictures!

All In Favor Of Montana Governor Steve Bullock Quitting His Bitching Say 'AYE'!

Ex-WH Counsel Don McGahn Had No 'Executive Privilege' BEFORE Trump Shatteth Upon It On Live Teevee

​Trump Celebrates Birthday With His Only Friends: Dumbass 'Fox & Friends' Idiots

New York Decides Religion Is Not A Good Enough Reason To Spread Measles

You Can't Keep Virginia's Joe Morrissey Or Herpes Down

Shep Smith, Fox Judge Napolitano Explain Trump Is CRIMING, To Eyes Too Blind To See, Brains Too Dumb To Exist

Jessica Biel Apparently Not Medical Doctor We All Thought She Was

How Is Telling Black People To Stop F*cking Not 'Welfare'? These States Would Like To Know!

How Much Illegal Foreign Help Is Trump Expecting In 2020, Kayleigh McEnany? F*ck!

Millionaires Say 'Oh Elizabeth Warren, We Are Rich, Please Eat Us!'

Good Riddance To Debased, Disgraced & Dismissed Liar Sarah Huckabee Sanders

'I'll Cry If I Want To!' Wonkagenda For Fri., June 14, 2019

​Michael Flynn And Rick Gates, It's Subpoena-Thirty, Motherf*ckers!

Kellyanne Conway Gonna Keep On Crimin'

Elizabeth Warren Wants To Know Why Banks Made Their Computers Racist

Justin Amash: Congressdork By Day, Streetfighting Dork By Night

​For The Umpteenth Time, THE STEELE DOSSIER IS NOT THE SAME AS COLLUDING WITH OUR ENEMIES TO STEAL AN ELECTION, YOU F*CKING IDIOTS

OH NO, Anti-Choice Liar People 'Censored' By Evil Corporate Behemoth ... Pinterest

How Are We Treating Women Shooting Small Aliens Out Of Their Vaginas Or Stomachs Today?

We Come Not To Praise Howard Schultz But To Bury Him Because That Guy Sucks

Hello, FBI? We'd Like To Report A Crime In Progress.

Arizona Supreme Court Stops Harshing Medical Marijuana's Mellow

Steve King Built A Wall Out Of His Black Friends, Diamond And Silk

Bible-Banging Buffoon Blasts Boston-Married Bulldaggers, Bronies

Russia If You're Listening! Wonkagenda For Thurs., June 13, 2019

​Michael Flynn's New Lawyer Is Baaaaaaaaaaaaaatshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Commander OPSEC Has A Secret. A MEXI-SECRET!

Uncle Joe Biden Will Win Lady Vote With A Foot In His Mouth & A Finger In Their Face

Stephen Miller Getting A Little On The Nose With Latest Baby Jail

Junior Does Not Wish To Correct Any Of His Senate Lies, No Thank You

Bill Barr Telegraphing His Punches Like A Frat Boy At A Kegger

Poor Ainsley Earhardt Stuck In This Tiny Room Forever Because Feminists Murdered All The Door-Holders

It's A Cornel West/Candace Owens Hullaballoo!

Jury *Just Can't Decide* Whether Basic Human Decency Is A Crime

Hero Trump Saves Innocent Kim Jong Un From Spying By Mean CIA

Trump Lawyers Makin' Sh*t Up Again 'Cause It's A Day

At Long Last Sirs Have You No Shame? Wonkagenda For Wed., June 12, 2019

Twitter Done F*cked Up Again

Lindsey Graham Has Final Asylum Solution

Alabama Rapists Could Get Custody Of The Babies They Get To Force Their Victims To Have

Had A Good Beat, You Could Dance To It, Except This Sonic Civil Rights Infraction Eric Swalwell Picked

Bill Maher: Is Ass, Gets Spanked

​Grumpy The Clown Too Grumpy To Run For President. Oh, Grumpy!

The Four Biggest Idiots From The John Dean/Watergate/Trump-Russia Hearings Yesterday

Joyce White Vance Said The Mueller Report To GOP Idiots' Faces, And It Was LOVELY!

Wendy Davis Thinkering Up A Run Against New Ted Cruz-Flavored Asshole Congressboy, Chip Roy

Bill Barr Backs The F*ck Down. Oh, You Mean THESE Mueller Docs?

John Dean Gets Old School! Wonkagenda For Tues., June 11, 2019

​US Embassies Cramming Pride Flags Down Mike Pompeo's Dumb Gay-Hatin' Throat

Bernie And Blunt

Ken Cuccinelli To Be New Kris Kobach Of Stephen Millers

Mitch McConnell's Wife Elaine Chao Bringing A Better Class Of Grift To The White House

Which Of Hillary Clinton's Diseases Is Joe Biden Dying From Today?

We Must Treat Hospitalized Migrants Like Felons To Keep America Great

​Hillary Clinton's Brother Died, So Obviously Wingnuts Are Being Very Normal And Compassionate About That

Kamala Harris Doesn't Have To Explain Her Kickass Self To Your Dumb Asses

Congressman From 'Hee Haw' Tries To Ban Democrats From Talkin' Mean About President CrimeStupid

Tariff Man Gets Caught Lying About Mexico Deal, Loses His Sh*t On Twitter

'Sick Journalism.' Wonkagenda For Monday, June 10, 2019

Your Deleted Comments Are Part Of Mars

AOC Wants Birth Control To Be Free And Over-The-Counter, As It Should Be!

Notoriously Racist Mobster 'Whitey' Bulger Was Smitten By Notoriously Racist President, Letters Reveal

Civil Rights Leader Rev. William Barber Finally, Uh, Brought To Justice

Your Weekly Top Ten Is A FOUR-YEAR-OLD GROWN WOMAN NOW!

OF WHICH THE MOON IS A PART

Wingnuts Freak Out Over Dancin' 'Borted Babbies (Again)

NEW YORK CITY! Last Minute Drinky Thing With Your Robyn SATURDAY, Come And Drink And Gawk At Robyn!

​Missouri Just Doing State-Sanctioned Sexual Assault To Women Who Want Abortions, That's All

Joe Biden Suddenly Realizes, Again, That Hyde Amendment Is Actually Bad, Again

Glenn Greenwald, Tucker Carlson Agree: Gay Guy Should Stop Gaybashing Bully's Knuckles With His Face

Congress Slaps TurboTax Right In The Dick, For America

North Carolina Republicans May Have Committed A Wee Spot Of Perjury, OOPSIE!

Trump Teacher Of The Year Competition Already Over

BREAKING: Classless Trash Acts Like Classless Trash

'Pure Political Garbage.' Wonkagenda For Fri., June 7, 2019

Bill Barr Still Hiding Mueller's Counter-Intel Findings From Adam Schiff, So That's Pretty F*cked UP Actually!

A Funny Thing Happened On Michael Flynn's Way To Jail

The Rich Are Hoarding All The $$$. Quick, Send TLC (And Liz Warren!) To Help!

Roy Moore's Lawyer Charged With DUI, Possession, & Representing Roy Moore

US Now Separating Kids From School, Lawyers, Soccer, And Medicine

Alabama Gon' Sue The Census For Letting Mexicans Exist

Relax, Y'all: Nancy Pelosi Still Has F*ckin' GOT THIS

The Hyde Amendment Is Bad And It Is Okay To Say That Joe Biden Liking It Is Bad

Tucker Carlson: Liz Warren Could Be Next Trump If She Were Just More Racist & Gross

Trump's Airport Auntie Anne's Pretzel Stand Summit With Irish PM Went Well

Tell Us More About How Innocent You Are, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott!

Trumpty Dumpty. Wonkagenda For Thurs., June 6, 2019

Trump's Mouth Has 'Extreme Weather' Event All Over Piers Morgan's Face

Liz Warren And Joe Biden's Climate Plans: Maybe We WON'T All Die In A Fire-nado?

Band Of Sherlocks Unable To Determine If Ralph Northam Appeared In His Own Racist Yearbook Pic

Check Out President Brain Hemorrhoids' 1993 Plan To Become King Of England By F*cking Lady Di!

Republican Senators Grow Half A Nut On Tariffs ... MAYBE

Alabama Mayor Bein' All Alabama 'N Sh*t

​Maggie Haberman (Of Course) Just Saying MAYBE Trumps Are Royal Family Of America's Dreams!

Virginia Dems Want To Grab Your Guns, Just Because Of Some Little Ol' Mass Murder

LOVE YR WONKET?

I Saw A Man Who Danced With His Wife. Wonkagenda For Wed., June 5, 2019

Fix Yourself A Drink, It's Time To Kick Back And Call Brit Hume A F*ckin' Moron!

Orange County Gun Humper's Synagogue Massacre Was Stopped, So That's Good, Huh?

Relax, Everybody: Congress About To Kick The Sh*t Out Of Trump In 5, 4, 3, 2 ...

If You Had 'Guy Who Likes Chickens In His Kiddie Porn' On Your Trump Scandal Bingo Card, YOU WIN!

ICE Needs To Jail Its F*cking SELF

David Brooks: Young People With Their Guacamole Bread & 'Diversity' Are Killing The GOP

NYT: Mistakes Were Made, But We Stand By Ukrainium One Joe Biden Hitpiece

Navy Not Happy About All Those Mother-Rapers, Father-Rapers, And Former MO Gov Eric Greitens

Pete Buttigieg's Dick Brother-In-Law Being Dick On Fox News Now

I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! Wonkagenda For Tues., June 4, 2019

'Elp! 'Elp! Wonkette Being Sued By This 40-Millionaire!

Duncan Hunter Ordered The Code Red, And Who Are You To Judge Him?

WTF Just Happened With Michael Flynn's Case And Why Is Devin Nunes Mooing About It?

How To Rig The Census For Fun And Profit And White Supremacy

Suck It, Libs! Jared Kushner Gives Himself A Swirly On Camera! Triggered Much?

'This Week,' Meet The Putzes!

Trump's UK State Visit Off To Smashing Start, Pip Pip You Betcha!

Hide Your Daughters, The GOP Got Loose Again

Mick Mulvaney Drapes Tarp Over Own Dignity, Defends Hiding John McCain Boat From Trump

Neckbeard Manbun Grabs Mic From Kamala Harris, For Equality!

Roger Stone WANTS To Go To Jail

Dear God, Save The Queen! Wonkagenda For Mon., June 3, 2019

Nice Things Are Bustin' Out All Over

Elizabeth Warren Straight Up Kills It At The California State Democratic Convention

Italy Crushes Steve Bannon's Dream Of A School For Alt-Right Cafones

Trump Twitter Account Refutes Reports Of Him Calling Meghan Markle 'Nasty' With Audio Of Him Doing Just That.

Gun Nuts Owe Us An Explanation: Why The Hell Do We Have To Live Like This?

Your Weekly Top Ten Is ... Um, Whatever

​Wonkette And Trey Gowdy Agree: Trump Should Just Let Mueller Indict Him!

'Yes Mr. Trump, The Mexico Tariffs Are BRILLIANT' -- Just Totally Everyone

The Terrorists Have Won: George Tiller Ten Years Later

Live From CBS News, Bill Barr Is A Lying Asshole!

Philippines President Cured Self Of Gay, Still Addicted To Murder, Dictatoring

In Fight Between Nancy Pelosi And Facebook, Laura Ingraham Chooses White Supremacists

Republicans Block Disaster Aid Third Time, For Freedom Flooding

Trump Just Taxed The Sh*t Out Of Your Tomatoes, Strawberries, And Cars

The Top 6 Reasons Robert Mueller Needs To Park His Perky Fanny In Front Of Congress RIGHT NOW F*CKING NOW

California Doing SEXY MEDI-CAL STUFF, Oooh, Like That!

New Hampshire Ends Capital Punishment

The Chewbacca Defense. Wonkagenda For Fri., May 31, 2019

A Few Thoughts On Pete Buttigieg's Dick Brother-In-Law Who Doesn't 'Agree' With Chasten's 'Gay Lifestyle'

Clutch Your Breast And Weep Salty Tears For The NRA Divorce

Jaime Harrison Wants To Send Lindsey Graham's Smug Lie Sneering Jerk Ass Home

'Roe' Round-Up: The Good, The Bad, And The Freaking *Horrifying*

ALL HAIL MAGGIE HABERMAN, THE UNERRING GIMLET EYE AFFLICTING THE COMFORTABLE

Was Eric Trump The Stupidest Thing On Fox News Last Night? LOL You Guys, It's Not A Contest!

Just The Feds Subpoenaing Mar-A-Lago For Info On The Chinese Massage Parlor Maybe Spy And Definite Trump-Access-Seller. NO COLLUSION!

Arizona Man On Trial For Felonious Decency To Migrants

President Yap-Stupid Handling Robert Mueller's Press Conference Pretty Well

Is That 'Freedom Gas,' Man? Well TURN IT UP!

White House Rechristens USS John McCain ... F*ck It This Is Pathetic, There's No Joke Here

It'll Buy Me A Boat. Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 30, 2019

Robert Mueller Has One Last Thing To Say About Bill Barr's Lies. A WEIRD THING.

HaHa Thanks, Mueller! Now Get Your Ass Down To HPSCI And Testify!

Trump Tax Cuts Weren't 'Rocket Fuel' For Economy. More Like A Wet Fart.

Mitch McConnell Knows That You Know He's A F*cking Asshole

Robert Mueller Just Begged Congress To Impeach The Living F*ck Out Of Donald Trump

If Women Are Even Half As Evil As Clarence Thomas Thinks We Are, We Shouldn't Be Having Babies In The First Place

Republicans Block Disaster Relief Bill Again, Because They Are Dicks

Robert Mueller Would Like To Say A Thing!

Kamala Harris Is Not Afraid Of Trump And She Will Kick His Ass

Roy Moore Is BACK, BABY, And *Don Trump Jr.* Is Voice Of Reason

'It Is About Checks And Balances.' Wonkagenda For Wed., May 29, 2019

GOP So Mildly Displeased With Trump's Love Affair With Kim Jong Un, They Might Just Shake Their Heads!

Texas SOS Sh*tcanned After Failed Voter Purge, So That's Sad We Guess

Beto Is A Great Big 'Asshole' Sometimes, And The Daily Beast IS ON IT!

Losing Your Reproductive Rights Won't Be SO Bad, Claims Ridiculous AP Article

Wait, WHAT NOW With Those Trump Financials Subpoenas?

Trump Gonna Hide All The Science He Doesn't Like In Folder Marked 'Taxes'

John McCain's Daughter Yelling At Amy Klobuchar Now

Maggie Haberman Just Asking: Should Hope Hicks Do A Crime? IS IT CRIME TIME?

Rep. Duncan Hunter: I Am War Crimes (And So Can You!)

Revisionist History With Chuck Todd

And We're Back. Wonkagenda For Tues., May 28, 2019

Happy Memorial Day From Donald Trump, Who Loves America More Than You Do

Roadrunners Are Real, And They're Spectacular!

The Week In Garbage Men: No Country For Old Pick-Up Artists

Angelina Jolie's Dad Rambles Incoherently About How Much He Loves Donald Trump

Your Weekly Top Ten Is GOODBYE, IT'S A HOLIDAY WEEKEND

Seb Gorka's Mustang Is Firin' On All 4 Cylinders Right Now!

Julian Assange Is An Absolute Piece Of Sh*t. And Now You Have To Defend Him.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Elijah Cummings, Activists Beat Big Pharma Over The Head With Generic PReP

Oh No Nancy Pelosi Is Dying Of All The Things Hillary Clinton Died From Already!

Trump Tells America He DID NOT EITHER Have A Temper Tantrum, SHUT UP STINKY NANCY!

Republicans Just Want Census To Ask If You Are A Jailbird, Nothing Could Go Wrong With That!

Good Thing Bill Barr Is A Paragon Of Honesty, Because ... Well Sh*t Just Read It

Trump To Give Farmers Another Twenty Or Fifty Bucks Each, NOW SHUT UP ABOUT IT

Finally Trump Is Going On Offense For A Change. Wonkagenda For Fri., May 24, 2019

Do Y'all See What Nancy Pelosi Is Doing Yet?

Everything You Need To Know About The Dumb Dick/Manafort Patsy Who Got Indicted Today

It's Been Five Years Since The Isla Vista Shootings, And Entitled Men Are Still A Danger

Military Brass On Pres Pardoning War Criminals: Situation Trumpy All F*cked Up

Never Mind, Just A 10-year-Old Migrant Girl Whose Death They Covered Up

Trump's Failboat Ride Through The Courts Continues: Deutsche Bank Edition!

This Guy Is Why No One Believes Anti-Choicers When They Say It's Not About Controlling Women

WaPo Tries To BUT-HER-EMAILS Elizabeth Warren

Harriet Tubman Just Not Nazi Enough For Trump To Honor On Our Money

Donald Trump Laid 'A TRAP' For Chuck And Nancy. It Was THE GREATEST TRAP.

Maxine Got Your Money And Your Money On Her Mind. Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 23, 2019

Help Him! Help The Bombardier! Or The Blogger!

Pete Buttigieg, If You're Not Busy, This Nice Gentleman Has Some Questions About Butt-Play

Sorry Steve Mnuchin, What's 'Illegal' Is YOUR FACE

Border Patriot Made Up Cancer Boy, Stole Truck, Told Copper 'I Am America'

Alabama Republicans Too Stupid To Know Infanticide Is Already Illegal

What The F*ck Was That?

Florida Republican's Campaign Crew Sure Liked Chatting About Election Fraud

Did You Have 'Let's Not Regulate Mercury' In The 'Clean Coal' Betting Pool? Congrats!

Hope Hicks And Annie Donaldson, You're The Next Contestants On SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN AND SPILL IT!

Ben Carson Stumped By Ayanna Pressley, Katie Porter, On HUD Policy, Basic Morality

Michael Cohen, Liveblogged On Tape Before A Closed Door Intel Committee Studio Audience

Ben Carson's Back And There's Gonna Be Trouble! Wonkagenda For Wed., May 22, 2019

​Fox News Idiots React To Pete Buttigieg's Criticism With Measured Calm We've Come To Expect

Dress Barn, Shopko Go Bust. How About 'Buy Everything Day'?

​Don McGahn To Congress: LOCK! ME! UP! LOCK! ME! UP! LOCK! ME! UP!

Kris Kobach Can't Be Immigration Czar Because He Wanted Them To Take Out All The Brown M&Ms

Michael Cohen Yuks It Up For House Intel Committee: It's Your SURPRISE LIVEBLOG!

'Pro-Life' Party Strikes Again: Guatemalan Children At The Border Edition

And The Prize For Handing Trump His Ass In Court Goes To DC Judge Amit Mehta!

Slipping Away. Wonkagenda for Tues., May 21, 2019

At Least Tucker Carlson Still Has His Girlish Laugh

Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Kamala Harris Equal Pay Proposal Nanny State Boo Hoo Oh No WAAAH

How's Trump Sh*tting On The Troops This Memorial Day? Get A Load Of THIS!

A Mid-Day Heartwarmer Of Everybody Hates Kris Kobach

Fox News Dipsh*t To New College Grads: OWN THE LIBS BY BE MORE STUPIDER OK?

Billionaire Cruelly Denies Morehouse Grads Character-Building Crippling Student Loan Debt

Deutsche Bank Whistleblower Spills The Beans On The Beancounters

If You're Going To Go On Fox News, Kick Fox's Ass Like Pete Buttigieg Did

Justin Amash Says Impeach, And We Always Agree With Justin Amash

Talk Nerdy To Me! Wonkagenda For Mon., May 20, 2019

Some Thoughts On The Things We Haven't Read, But Know About Anyway

Alms For The Roger Stone? Alms For The Roger Stone?

Right-Wing Toadstools All In A Dither Over Fran Lebowitz Now

Wonkette's Top Ten Is A CONSPIRACY!

This House Is GREEEEEN

Meet The Lady Doctor Who Has BLINDED Us With SCIENCE!

From the Party That Brought You 'Legitimate Rape,' It's CONSENSUAL Rape!

Bloomberg Puts Rudy Giuliani's Ukrainium-One Lie Out Of Our Misery

An Open Letter To Those Who Are 'Concerned About Women Using Abortion As Birth Control'

Trump's New ICE Chief Can Spot Future Gang Members With His X-Ray Eyes

It Is Always And Forever Mueller Thirty

Who Crawled Up The New York Times's Ass And Died?

Jay Inslee Has A Climate Plan And It's A DAMN WHOPPER

Donald Trump Keeps Changing WALL Design, Wants Spikes, Killer Bees

'Who's Gonna Pay For It?' Wonkagenda For Fri., May 17, 2019

Has Your Granny Been Censored By Facebook? President Trump Is Standing By!

Fox News Still Stupidest, The Worst: Awful New Abortion Laws Edition!

Do You LOVE THE LITTLE BABIES? How About The Moms? Lauren Underwood Forms Black Maternal Health Caucus

Flames On The Sides Of Our Face: A Lunatic Abortion Law Round-Up Of MAD

NRA's Dana Loesch Got Paid A Million Dollars To Make Videos Watched By A Thousand People Each

Anti-Abortion, Right-Wing Hack Wendy Vitter Ready To Judge You PROFESSIONALLY

Poppy Trump's Got The Shakes, And Dan Scavino's Got The Fix

A Nice Letter To Steve Bullock From Wonkette That Isn't At All A Trick

President Taco Bowls Wants To Give Mexicans A Civics Test To Enter America

UH OH, BILL BARR GOT #JOKES

Why Can't These 'Pro-Life' States Stop Killing Infants All the Time?

John Bolton: He's The One Who Sucks! Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 16, 2019

Miss Warren And Miss Harris, If You're Nasty!

Yes, Children, Trump's Legal Strategy Really IS That Stupid

How Is Awful Kid In Alaska Different From Coast Guard Terrorist Guy?

Adam Schiff Just Saying Trump's Lawyers Better GET A LAWYER

War With Iran? Who Knows?

Can't SOME Of The 101 Democrats Running For President Remember The Senate Also Exists?

Mel Gibson Wants To Play A Conniving, Jewish Patriarch ... LOL, GET IT?

Alabama Goes And Decides To Force Victims To Carry Their Rapist's Babies After All

10 Rules For The Senate's Interview With Our Precious Baby Boy Junior

Bibbidi Bobbidi Watch Abigail Disney And Maxine Waters Eat The Rich BOO!

And Iran Iran So Far Away. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 15, 2019

BREAKING: Federal Judge CANNOT EVEN With Trump Lawyers' Trifling Horsesh*t

All These Idiots Have Broken Bill Nye

Allen West And Oliver North Are Warring With The NRA, And We Ain't Mad About It

Julián Castro Throwing Down Education Policy Like A Common Liz Warren

OH HEY MORE Steele Dossier Says PAUL MANAFORT Used Trump Org Server To Sext The Russians? SOME COLLUSION!

Alabama Maybe Not So Sure About Denying Abortions To Rape Victims After All

Elizabeth Warren Tells Fox News To Fox Off

Ben Carson Wants To Evict All The Anchor Babies

Montana Gov. Steve Bullock Thinks He Can Probably Beat Tim Ryan, Other Tim Ryan

​A Brief Update On Donald Trump Jr. Begging His Mom To Write A Note Excusing Him From 'Senate'

GOP To Farmers: Be Grateful You Aren't Dead. Yet.

Stephen Miller Had AWESOME Plan For 'Blitz' Against Immigrants But Kirstjen Nielsen Said No :(

Let's Have A War! Wonkagenda For Tues., May 14, 2019

Trump And Orbán Sittin' In A Tree, Pissing On Democracy!

NRA Accidentally Sends Wayne LaPierre's Credit Card Bills To Ad Company. BY ACCIDENT!

Elizabeth Warren Raises A Ruckus On Opioids, Wins Over West Virginia

F*ck Mike Pence And The Cross He Rode In On

Go-Fund-Me-WALL Guy Brian Kolfage MAYBE Robbed You Bigots Blind

If Extortion And Death Threats Are Wrong, Washington Militia Dude Doesn't Want To Be Right!

Kevin McCarthy Can Wait ... For A Constitutional Crisis

Bathrobe-y McRageClown Turns On FBI Director Christopher Wray

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Derpsplaining (AGAIN!) Rudy Giuliani's Joe Biden Hitpiece, Ukrainium One

Lies. Wonkagenda For Mon., May 13

All These Nice Things Rock Like A Mother

Raise Less Corn More Hell!

'Prophetess' Running For Mayor Of Toledo Is Now Also A Wrestling Champion

Equality Act Hit By Avalanche Of Brutally Stupid GOP Amendment Proposals

Trump's Manic Saturday Morning Retweet Storms Fast Becoming A Dreaded Institution

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Too Exhausted To Make A Clever Headline Right Now

One Time Trump Sucked So Hard At Golf He Had To Cheat A Small Child To 'Win'

Republicans Becoming Less Freedom-Caucus Crazy, Say Hilarious Republicans Who Lie

Chobani CEO Picks Up Lunch Tab For A Few Thousand Rhode Island School Kids

Why Do All These Racists Keep Joining Turning Point USA?

Hero Obama Judge Will See Dumbass Trump Lawsuit Next Tuesday. No, Literally!

Which War Criminal Will Trump Pardon Next? Duncan Hunter Thinks It Should Be This Asshole

NICE TIME! AOC And Bernie Sanders Gonna Slash Your Credit Card Interest And Payday Loan!

Rudy Colludy Twisting Ukraine's Arm To Investigate Joe Biden

Look At These Assholes

GYNA IF YOU'RE LISTENING. Wonkagenda For Fri., May 10, 2019

The President's Brain Fell Out Again, Anybody Got A Bucket And A Mop?

NRA Hack Dana Loesch Cycles Through 5 Stages of Grift

Please Break Up Facebook, Says Co-Founder, Before Zuckerberg Kills Us All

How Will CNN Ask Employees To Give Up Their Reproductive Rights For A Job?

Trump Confesses To Obstruction Of Justice ESSENTIALLY

New York Senate Hates Trump More Than Congress Does, Is Happy To Help F*ck Him Up!

But Daddy, Don Junior Doesn't WANT To Testify Any More!

Ken Starr: Mueller Report Too Long, And No Cumstains!

PSA: We Still Don't Know If Trump Is A F*cking Russian Intelligence Asset!

Agriculture Department Throwing Away Perfectly Good Economists

It's Oh So Quiet. Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 9, 2019

Jacob Wohl Spits Up Own Dick Again

Kim Kardashian Has Helped Free 17 Prisoners In 90 Days, What Have You Done?

Trump Goes Back For Thirds At The All You Can Eat Humiliation China Buffet

Meghan McCain's Also Terrible Husband Attacks Seth Meyers Because Everything's Ridiculous

Was It Jerry Falwell Jr. In The Outhouse With The Pool Boy? DOES WONKETTE WIN THE GAME OF 'CLUE'?

Trump Checks His Executive Privilege, Decides Yes, He's KING!

Judge Set To Release Coast Guard Terrorist, Crosses Fingers No One Dies Before Trial

Ohio Psyched To Test Out New Forced Birth Law On 11-Year-Old Rape Victim

How Big A Loser Is Donald Trump? Oh, About $100 Million A Year

Guns Just Killed More Children. How Quickly Will We Do Nothing?

And In This Corner, The Attorney General Spouting Some Facially Illegal Hilarious Sh*t!

Unsportsmanlike Conduct. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 8, 2019

AND YET SHE PERSISTED In Reading Mueller Report Right To Mitch McConnell's Dumb Face

It Is 2019, No One Gets To Be 'Not Ready' For Sh*t Anymore

Just A Reminder: Texas Still Hates People Voting

New Sandra Bland Video Shows ... Wait, After Four Years There's A New Sandra Bland Video?

Let The Stupid Don McGahn Subpoena Games Begin!

TN Speaker's Racist Sexist COS Now Unemployed POS

Kamala Harris Gonna ARREST THE TRUMP TAX CUTS, Throw Away The Key! (Get It She Is A Cop)

One Million Former Prosecutors Agree Trump Is A F*cking Criminal

Steven Mnuchin Tells Congress To Get F*cked, Citing Very Serious Legal Reasons TBD

Who Will Save The Poor Guns From Tyrant Cory Booker???

'Firefighter Prophet' Sick And Tired Of Satan Drowning Out God With Chemtrails

Read Mnuchin's Lips: No Trump Taxes. Wonkagenda For Tues., May 7, 2019

Who Put These Pubes All Over My First Amendment?

New NRA President Carolyn Meadows Has THOUGHTS On Race, And She's Ready To Share!

Racist GA Mayor Needs To Get The F*KKK Out

UN Predicts Loss Of A Million Species, Is That Terrifying?

Florida Jail Forced Mentally Ill Woman To Give Birth Alone In Solitary Confinement

Trumplander David Bossie Has Big Plans For Your Nana's Social Security Check

Kamala Harris At NAACP Will Shove Your 'Electability' Up Bill Barr's Ass

Bernie Sanders Has A Farm Policy, E-I-E-I-O

Just 'Pro-Life' 'Christian' Mike Pompeo Beaming About North Korea Executions

Comedian Jerry Falwell Jr. Now Supports 'Reparations' For Former Slave Donald Trump

What Are Trump's Syphilitic Brain Squirrels Scrabbling Around Today? WHAT AREN'T THEY!

Stollen. Wonkagenda For Mon., May 6, 2019

We've Got Some AI-Generated Nice Things For You Today. Isn't That Nice?

Jerk Landlady Refused To Rent To Muslim Tenants, Now Owes Them $675K

Trump Retweeted A Bunch Of Professional Bigots This Morning, Which Should Surprise No One

Tennessee Speaker's Aide Tried To Frame Black Student Activist

John Kelly All Set To Get Rich Off Of Baby Jails. America!

Your Weekly Top Ten Has More Glamour Shots For The Style File

Donald Trump Don't Want A Pickle, Just Wants To Ride His Motor-Sickle

Your Top Three Florida-Level Crazy Science Stories Of The Month!

Facebook FINALLY Bans Alex Jones And Motley Crew Of Alt-Right Racists

It's A Glenn Greenwald/Tucker Carlson Cuddle Party, And YOU HAVE TO WATCH

Here Comes Elizabeth Warren, Gonna Fix Puerto Rico!

Meet The New Uranium One. Same As The Old Uranium One.

Mark Halperin Wants You To Forget That Tiny Spot Of Frottage

Trump Gives New York Times Pulitzer For Reporting On Spies In His Underpants

Can't Scare Dems They're Sticking To The Union

Mad Dad. Wonkagenda For Fri., May 3, 2019

Trump Lawyer Emmet Flood Whines About Mueller Report, So That's Hilarious!

US To Arctic: How Can There Be Global Warming When Ice ... Oh, No Ice?

Stephen Moore Will Never Back Down, Never Surr-- Oh, Never Mind.

CHINA, IF YOU'RE LISTENING ...

Measlesboat McScientologyface Quarantined In St. Lucia

Kamala Harris Has Only Just Begun To Kick Bill Barr's Lying Ass

Lauren Underwood Builds A Bad-Ass Healthcare Bridge To Medicare For All

Washington State Did A Socialism For Old People!

Democrats Shake Down Trump For $2 Trillion To Build Bridges & Keep Airplanes From Crashing

Trump Hates Immigrants. Well, He Hates Paying Them, Anyway.

Grappling With Suggest. Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 2, 2019

Mazie Hirono Dickpunches Bill Barr In The Teeth, Doesn't Even Say 'Aloha'

Trump Has Told 10,000 Lies And The Truth Will Not Set Us Free

Congress -- Even The Wingers! -- NOT STUPID At Medicare For All Hearing!

Happy May Day! Let's Talk About Some Awesome Ladies Of The Labor Movement!

Hey Bill Barr! Robert Mueller Is PISSED. You Got Somethin' To F*ckin' Say For Yourself?

S**T IS GOING DOWN! Wonkagenda for Wed., May 1, 2019

Let's Mock Jacob Wohl Some More, Because F*ck That Guy

Idaho Republicans Very Sad For Lovelorn Austrian Nazi And US Sweetheart

Adam Schiff Just Saying Erik Prince Should Probably Rot In Hell, We Mean Prison

Trump Gonna Stick His Hands Down Refugees' Pants, Steal Their Untold Riches

These Trump Lawsuits Are Getting Batsh*ttier By The Day!

Uh Oh, Mayor Pete! Jacob Wohl Has A Rake, And He's Gonna Step On It!

GOP Suddenly 'Not Enthused' By Garbage Racist Sexist Trump Fed Pick Stephen Moore

Beto O'Rourke Made A Plan For A Thing, Everybody Happy Now? (It Is A Climate Plan!)

Rod Rosenstein Crashes The Plane

HEY YOU F*CKERS!

Pucker Up, Buttercup. Wonkagenda For Tues., April 30, 2019

RUSSIA, IF YOU'RE LISTENING ...

Wall Street 'Democrats' So Sad You Guillotined Them Into Voting For Trump

Meghan McCain Wants To Jewsplain To (((Us?))) REALLY?

Can A Man Beat Trump? Some Democrats Wonder If It's Worth The Risk!

Fox News Judge Napolitano Not Through Talking About President Crimey's Crimes

Kellyanne Conway Went On The Shows To Call Everyone Else White Supremacist

​Bill Barr Glad To Testify For Congress This Week, Long As He Doesn't Have To Answer Questions

Who's Trump Trying To Get Killed Today? Doctors, Nurses, New Moms Get Your Bulletproof Vests

New York AG Letitia James Accepts NRA Offer To Pry It From Their Cold Dead Hands

Whistling Past The Graveyard. Wonkagenda For Mon., April 29, 2019

Open Thread: Let's Talk About The False Dmitris!

Pack It In Ladies, This Incredible Douche Has Determined That Feminism Has FAILED

Hey Now, Check Out Kansas Being All Not Terrible About Reproductive Rights!

Hot Tips For The DCCC: Dan Lipinski Sucks And Everyone Hates Unfairness

Wayne LaPierre Eats Oliver North's Liver At NRA

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Pretty Much A Professional Dancer Now

Even Fox News Hates Fox News Now

Joe Biden The Only Candidate Talking About Trump, Except For Everyone Else Running

Maria Butina, GTFO!

Trump Calls Sean Hannity To Beg For Tongue Bath, Receives One

Trump And Joe Biden Scrapping About Nazis

Thank You Rod Rosenstein, Sniveling Toady!

Indiana Bans Safest Second-Term Abortion Method, Because They Just Really Love Life

And This Is How Planet Of The Cats Begins

America Knows How To Handle Bad Cops: Make Them Police Chief!

Oh Nothing, Just The FOX NEWS JUDGE Calling Trump A F*cking Criminal

Anita Hill Rejects Joe Biden’s Cubic Zirconia, Designer Imposter Knock-Off ‘Apology’

Came Tumbling Down. Wonkagenda For Fri., April 26, 2019

Oh No, Did Robert Mueller Do PEE TAPE LIBELS?

Trump Has Always Depended On The Kindness Of Staffers

Lara Trump Explains Taking In Refugees Was Germany's 'Downfall'

Hillary Clinton Has A Message For Trump's Victims, AKA All Living Americans

Anti-Vaxxers March On California Capitol For The Right To Make Doctors Lie For Them

Billionaire Democrat Illinois Gov Just A Sad Hobo Living Without A Terlet

Joe Biden Whispers In Your Ear: You And Me, Baby, 2020

Milo Yiannopoulos C*ckblocked In Oklahoma :(

Rudy Giuliani Tells Arby's Drive-Thru Lady That Hillary Better GET A LAWYER!

Students For Trump Co-Founder Turns To Life Of Crime And Fake Lawyering

A CHALLENGER APPEARS! Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 25, 2019

OH HELL YEAH, HASAN MINHAJ, SAY IT TO JARED'S STUPID FACE!

Nice Time! US Won't Open Baby Jail At Guantanamo! (Yet)

Trump, Fox Weep For Real Victim: The Navy SEAL Locked Up For Murdering Children

Fired White House Staffers Delighted To Go Bankrupt/To Jail To Protect President, You Bet!

Hero Judge Blocks Trump's Terrible Abortion Gag Rule... For Now.

Quick, Nobody Do Anything About Russia Ratf*cking 2020 Election For Trump, HE'S SENSITIVE ABOUT IT

President Kamala Just Grabbed Your Guns, How Will You Compensate For Your :( Dick NOW???

Who Is Jesus? Steve King Is Jesus!

We Need To Talk About Trump's Deranged Digital Diarrhea

What Part Of FREE Don't TurboTax Bitches Understand?

Jack A Dull Boy. Wonkagenda For Wed., April 24, 2019

Hey Jared Kushner, It's STFU-Thirty, AND YOU'RE LATE!

Sen. John Cornyn All Aquiver About Patton Oswalt's Dirty, Pretty Mouth

Trump White House Tells Employees Subpoenaed By Congress To Flip Them Off And Sh*t In Their Eyes

Must Be Hannity And Assange Calling Seth Rich's Family To Apologize!

President 'I'm F*cked' Entirely F*cked, According To Polls

Puke Along With Us To Fed Nominee Stephen Moore's Five Foulest 'Writings' Oh My Sweet Jesus For Real

Ex-White House Counsel Don McGahn Ready For His Close-Up, Mr. DeMille!

Other Tim Ryan Running For President, Does Not Get Wonkette T-Shirt

Nope, No Impeachment Here! (WINK, WINK)

GET OUUUUUUUUT. Wonkagenda For Tues., April 23, 2019

Herman Cain't Be On Federal Reserve :(

Bullsh*tting About Science With Rep. Don Beyer, Cool F*cking Guy

President Elizabeth Warren Just Canceled Your Student Loan Debt

Trump Sues Congress For NO TAXES NO TAXES YOU ARE THE TAXES

Daily Caller Company In Ur Facebook Checkin Ur Facts

Rudy Giuliani Talking In Stupid Circles Till You Get So Dizzy You Have To Hold On To The Kitchen Floor

Franklin Graham Just Wants Mayor Pete To Know God Hates Him, Wants Him To Die

Deep State Gets Nice Militia Felon Man Exercising His Right To Wave Gun At Refugee Children

Hey Gun Nuts, The NRA's Been Having Greasy Orgies In Piles Of Your Hard-Earned Money

And On The Fourth Day, The Mueller Report Liveblog Rose Again

Giuliani's ON IT. Wonkagenda For Mon., April 22, 2019

Behold! It Is Your Easter Open Thread, Starring A Very Scary Marie Osmond Rabbit Person.

The Great Depression Coulda Been Worse: What If Herbert Hoover Had Twitter?

Church Of Holy Bleach Drinking Offering $450 Seminars. We Say NO THANK YOU!

Laura Loomer Filed A Lawsuit Against Twitter Based On A Prank Someone Played On Her

Mike Huckabee Literally Thought April Ryan Was Speaking Literally About Beheading His Daughter

Your Weekly Top Ten Has A Delicious Easter Cookie And You Do Not!

Seth Rich Died Before Assange Ever Received Hacked DNC Emails. Guess Who That's Not Stopping.

Who Is (Was) Lyra McKee, And What The Bloody Hell Is Going On In Northern Ireland?

Surprise, Lindsey Graham Only Cares About Obstruction When Bill Clinton's Dong Is Involved

YEP, TRUMP'S F*CKED. Mueller Report Liveblog, LAST PART!

Hi Sarah Huckabee Sanders, You Resign Now

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Gonna Slap The Coal Out Kentucky Rep's Mouth

Junior's TOO DUMB To Be Indicted. Mueller Report Liveblog, Part Two!

'Total Bulls**t.' Wonkagenda For Fri., April 19, 2019

A Roundup Of Wingnuts Insisting Donald 'I'm F**ked' Trump Is Innocent

Bill Barr Drew Dicks All Over Mueller Report, But Let's Liveblog It Anyway!

ONE GOOD NICE TIME In This Gun Roundup! The Rest Of It, Well, It's A Gun Roundup.

Nazi Coast Guard Guy May Have Arsenal, 'Hit List,' But Is He Really A *Terrorist*?

Ivanka Trump: President Daddy Almost Gave Me Job F**king Up The World Bank

Liveblogging Bill Barr's Boot Scootin' MAGA Rally, We Mean Press Conference

Now What? Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 18, 2019

Hey Aaron Schock, What'd You Find Down That Dude's Pants At Coachella?

Is It Physically Possible To Be Worse Than Ryan Zinke?

Immigrant Andrew Sullivan Haaaaate Immigrants. How Ever Could That Be?

Mueller Eve? More Like BILL BARR'S JUSTICE-OBSTRUCTING F*CKSHOW EVE!

Paul Ryan To Burn Down Notre Dame (University)

Republicans Push Against Vaccines In Middle Of Epidemic, Because F*ck Science And F*ck YOU!

Fox Two-Timing With Bernie Sanders And Donald Trump Is PISSED

AG Bill Barr Welcomes Your Huddled Masses TO JAIL

Tucker Carlson's New Bonermaker: 'Pete Buttigieg Dressed As Can Of Slutty Dinty Moore Beef Stew'

A Very Smart Post About Evangelicals, Trump, Michele Bachmann, AND A SURPRISE

Elizabeth Warren Has A Fever, And The Only Prescription Is THIS POLICY!

Wonkagenda For Wed., April 17, Is All You!

It's Time For 'TALKIN' GAY,' With Rachel Maddow And Mayor Pete!

Texas Hates It When You Vote :(

Jim Jordan Knows What Is Illegal And It Is CONGRESS!

Should Elizabeth Warren's Republican Past Disqualify Her? No, That Is Stupid.

​Alabama Not So Sure About Doug Jones, Might Give The Accused Kid-Toucher Another Look

They Paved Paradise And Put Up A (Refugee Tent City In A) Parking Lot

'Fox & Friends' Millionaires Bitching About Class Traitor Bernie Sanders

Trump Lawyers: Trump Accountants Will Sleep With The Fishes

Trumpers Scared Of Mad Daddy When He Finds Out What They Told Robert Mueller

Ilhan Omar Danced On Rooftops While Notre Dame Burned, Say People Who Think You Are Stupid

Make A Run. Wonkagenda For Tues., April 16, 2019

We're Not Crying At Pete Buttigieg's Campaign Kickoff Speech, YOU'RE CRYING

Donald Trump Tweets While Notre Dame Burns

Forget The Dragons! The Real Drama This Week Is Inside The NRA.

Putin's Favorite Oligarch Investing His Unsanctioned Rubles In ... Kentucky?

Kamala Harris Racking Up Endorsements Like The Sister's Running For President Or Something

Trump Has More Thoughts On Ilhan Omar, All Of Them Sick And Racist

Kellyanne Conway And Shuckabee: Trump's Betty And Veronica Of Propaganda

Trump Offers Boeing Rebranding Advice: How About 'Super Cool Not Crashyliner'?

Idiot Democrats Can't See Trump's Taxes Because They Can't Count To All The Billions

But Nancy Pelosi Whyyyy Won't You Be Bipartisaaaaaan

White House Lawyers: What CAN'T They Do!

'What Do I Know About Branding...?' Wonkagenda For Mon., April 15, 2019

We Got Nice Things In Your Nice Things!

Welsh Schools Tackle Period Poverty By Doling Out Tampons And Pads At Schools

Let's All Hope An 11-Year-Old Refugee Child Is Not Deported To El Salvador By Herself

Trump Plans To Get Re-Elected Over Ilhan Omar's Dead Body

Colorado Sheriffs Want To Make Sure Dangerous People Get To Keep Their Guns

Your Weekly Top Ten Still Hasn't Seen The Mueller Report TICK TOCK

Donald Trump Telling Border Patrol To Break Law For Full Pardon. IS THAT BAD?

Lou Dobbs Sorry Lou Dobbs Made Trump Lie About His Approval Rating (Again)

Checking In With The Trump Spawn Crapsacks On A Lovely Friday Afternoon

Steve Bannon's New Hobby: Try Overthrowing The Pope!

So, It Was 'Black Metal' That Made The Nice White Boy Burn All Those Black Churches?

Trump Just Arrested Assange To Prove Hillary Clinton Murdered Seth Rich, Say Idiots

Rod Rosenstein Determined To Step In ALL The Shit On Way Out The Door

Stephen Miller Had An Idea That Was Too Stupid For ICE

Glenn Greenwald Taking Assange Arrest Really Hard, Y'all, Bless His Heart

Trump Wants To Shoot Dead A Cool Science Telescope Thing Like It's The Alien In Independence Day

Oh, PLEASE Bring Back Allen West!

Joe Manchin Endorses Susan Collins, If You Were Wondering What's New With Those Losers

Scumbag Stephen. Wonkagenda For Fri., April 12, 2019

Senate Republicans So Mad At Trump, They Might Even Do A Thing!

Elizabeth Warren CAN'T STOP DOING POLICIES YOU GUYS!

Michael Avenatti ALLEGEDLY Stole Millions From Paraplegic Man So He Could Invest In His Race Cars VROOM!

Steve Mnuchin Won't Release Trump Taxes, Sends Drawing Of Calvin Peeing On Congress Instead

GOP, Fox Just Concerned Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez And Ilhan Omar Are Terrorists, Is All

Ted Cruz Would Like Some Good Attention Like Candace Owens Got

Hedge Fund Orders Pecker To Take A Little Off The Top

Assange Asnagged :(

Donald Trump Has Learned Some New #GeographyFacts About Texas

Trump Stone Cold Rolling Coal On California, Other States That Don't Suck

NRCC Libelslandering Lucy McBath: ‘She Doesn’t Even Go Here!’

Wheels On The Bus Go Over The Bodies. Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 11, 2019

​Trumpy, Unf*ckable, And Shunned By Polite Society? DC's Hottest Club Is ...

Jim Jordan, Mark Meadows Screaming, Hollering Because The FBI Investigated Crimes

Bernie Sanders Introduces Medicare For All Again, So That Is Nice, NO FIGHTING

Bill Barr Is Your Batsh*t Fox News-Obsessed Uncle And You Hate Him

Florida Republicans Want To Restore Voting Rights To Rich Felons Only

Trump Back To Family Separation Horrorshow, Because Things Were Okayish For A Second

Anti-Choice Texans Want To Murder To Death Any Woman Who Commits Abortion

Hey Trump, Remember That SDNY Porn Payoff Criminal Investigation? IT REMEMBERS YOU!

Oh No Maxine Waters Did MURDERRRR Again, Steven Mnuchin Will Be 'Missed'

Oh Sh*t Son, Pennsylvania Just Took Your Gun Away (If You Are A Domestic Abuser)

OBAMA DID IT. Wonkagenda For Wed., April 10, 2019

And Now, A Congressional Hearing On White Nationalism, Starring Candace Owens

Bill Barr To Congress: F*ck You, F*ck You, F*ck You, You Cool, I'm Out

Devin Nunes MOOOIN' And SUIN'

Homeland Security Now Just Big Empty Building With Stephen Miller Riding Trike Through Halls

House 'Freedom' Dicks Warn Big Pharma NOT To Cooperate With Congress

Kamala Harris Goes On Teevee To Piss On Kirstjen Nielsen's (Professional) Grave

Shitshow At Mar-a-Lago: The Chinese Spy (???) Edition

Trump To Border Patrol: I AM THE LAW

New Florida Gov Ron DeSantis Kind Of Good On Environment? Eh What Huh???

Gun-Toting West Virginia Lady So Sad 'Social Media' Made Her Racist

'Indecipherable Gobbledygook.' Wonkagenda For Tues., April 9, 2019

Hillary Clinton, We Found This QAnon Guy For YOU TO MURRRRDERRRR

Trump Wants Family Separation 2.0 And He Wants It NOW!

Romney, Mulvaney, Hugh Hewitt: The Sunday Shows Were Dicks All The Way Down

Fox Lady Has New 'Death Panels,' It Is Socialists Stealing Rich People's EYES!

Fox News Knows Who The Lazy Takers Are, And It Is ... Veterans? Yeah Them

Ilhan Omar Gets Death Threats & Trump Responds By Drawing Bigger Target On Her Back

Which Stephen Miller Will Replace Kirstjen Nielsen At DHS? (Stephen Miller)

Kirstjen Nielsen's Worstest Hits!

Trump *Defense*: You Knew He Was A Tax Cheat When You Elected Him

Trump And Jewish Republicans And Oy F*ckin' Vey

Keep Firing, A**holes. Wonkagenda For Mon., April 8, 2019

The Funkiest Marx Brothers Movie Never Made

That Time Hoover Tried To Murder The New Deal Before It Even Started

Dean Cain Thinks Boycotting Georgia Over Its Bad Abortion Laws Is A Violation Of State's Rights

Incident Involving A MAGA Hat, A Sword, A Pirate Costume And A Roller Rink Ends Poorly For All Involved

Sure, Nazis Are Killing People But The DHS's Katie Gorka Wants To Focus On Antifascists

Your Weekly Top Ten Has A New BABY DOG!

Let's Finish Our Week With Some Poll Porn About How Everybody Hates Trump!

Shall We Watch Elizabeth Warren's Barnburning National Action Network Speech? Duh Of Course We Shall!

Laura Ingraham Was Sh*tty On Martin Luther King Anniversary, ARE YOU SURPRISED?

​Michael Cohen Has Idea: What If He Went To NOT Prison Next Month?

Dial 9-9-9 For Economic Murder: Trump Picks Herman Cain For Fed

Gun Nuts Trying To Intimidate Women Into Shutting Up During VAWA Debate Not The GREATEST Look?

Heckuva Coincidence Trump's Own Tax Guy Winds Up At IRS Just In Time To Fend Off Democrats, Huh?

Trump Decides To Yell At Mexico For Another Year Before Closing Border

Hey Bill Barr! What In The Entire F*ck Are We Waiting For Right Now?

Howard Schultz Teams Up With Clint Eastwood's Empty Chair To Yell At Mexico

Maniac Mitch McConnell Blows Up Filibuster. God Damn You All To Hell?

Elizabeth Warren Slaps The Tax Refund Out Of Jamie Dimon's Mouth

It's His Tax Man. Wonkagenda For Fri., April 5, 2019

Erick Erickson Says Pete Buttigieg Thinks Jesus Loves Bestiality, Which Is NOT A LICENSE TO F*CK GOATS, ERICK!

Ben Shapiro Still Throbbing Dickhead

Mar-A-Lago: It's Not A Bribe, It's Membership Dues

STFU TIM RYAN YOU DICK

What's Devin Nunes Mooing About Today? The 'MUELLER DOSSIER'!

Tim Ryan Takes Break From Losing To Nancy Pelosi To Lose To Entire Democratic Field

Trump's Tax Returns? Congressman You've Never Heard Of Says F*CKIN GIVE IT!

Mueller's Team Would Like Bill Barr To Shut His Justice-Obstructing Mouth Hole Please!

Brave Republicans Save Wheel-Fally-Off Jogging Strollers From Costly Recall

Dear Diary. Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 4, 2019

The Dumbest Sh*t Trump Said About Windmills Last Night, From 'Cancer' To 'REEER! REEER!'

These Nice People CAN'T WAIT For Border Shutdown To Wreck The Economy!

Rude Dems Blocking Trump's Salt-Of-Earth Everyman Ambassador Picks!

Alabama's Prisons Are So Bad Trump's DOJ Thinks They Are Bad

Kris Kobach Applying For Ralph Fiennes's Job In That One Movie, What Was It, 'Bucket List'

Laura Ingraham Just Sayin' Pete Buttigieg Is Gay & Wants To Kill All The Babies

​Uh Oh, Bill Barr! JERRY NADLER COMETH!

Chinese Spy (?) Finds Out The Hard Way You Have To PAY THE DOORMAN If You Want To See Mr. Trump

Nancy Pelosi Tells Joe Biden To Hand Her No Lines & Keep His Hands To Himself

Trump Knows Oranges Of Mueller Probe, But Doesn't Know Oranges Of Own Father :(

It's Groundhog Day But With Healthcare And Trump Keeps Throwing The Toaster In The Tub

Matt Gaetz: UHHHHHH ... WHAT IF TRUMP FAKED BEING A CHICK?

North Carolina GOP Chair: Time To Do Some Bribin'!

'Be A Little Bit More Paranoid.' Wonkagenda For Wed., April 3, 2019

Trump Really Wants To Give You Mueller Report, But It's Under Audit And He Doesn't Want To

Howard Schultz Knows Who To Blame For Trump Closing Mexican Border

Which Of These Racist A-Holes Will Be Trump's 'Immigration Czar'?

Half-Ass Corrupt Baltimore Mayor Quits To Make Way For Excellent Corrupt Mayor Baltimore Deserves!

DHS Sure Picked A Great Time To Disband A Domestic Terror Unit

Alzheimer's Disease Is A Asshole, According To Science

Tucker Carlson: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Making Chris Hayes A Big Homogay

Trump GOP Still Screwing Puerto Rico Like It's Mexico Or Something

If It's Tuesday, It MIGHT Be A Good Day To Tell Lindsey Graham To Go F*ck Himself

Who's The IRS Auditing Today, It Is All The Conservative PACs Right? JKJKJKJKLOL.

Whistleblower Warbles Pretty Tune On *25* Shady Security Clearances

'Nothing Will Ever Satisfy Them.' Wonkagenda For Tues., April 2, 2019

Paul Manafort Celebrates 70th Birthday With Loved Ones APRIL FOOLS HE'S IN PRISON

GOP'S Secret Healthcare Plan Is That It Has No Healthcare Plan

Alex Jones Goes To A Beto Rally, Is Alex Jones

Fraudy Sovereign Citizen Dude Loves Cats, Fraud

Jerry Nadler To Bill Barr: IT'S SUBPOENA-THIRTY, MOTHERF*CKER!

Jeff Bezos Delivers Brand New Federal Investigation To His Pals At The National Enquirer

Mitch McConnell Helpfully Changes Senate Rules So President Kamala Harris Can Pass Green New Deal & Reparations

Republican Fools' Day!

We Are All Kasie Hunt's Face Trying To Figure Out WTF George Papadopoulos Is Talking About

Trump Gonna Paint A Train Tunnel On This Rock On The Border

Little April Showers. Wonkagenda For Mon., April 1, 2019

Yr Wonkette Has The Complete Unredacted NICE THINGS Report!

Get Your Popcorn Out, It's Time To Watch Alex Jones Make An Even Bigger Fool Of Himself Than Usual!

Wrongly Convicted Men Freed From Prison After 43 Years. 43 YEARS!

F*CKING GIVE IT, BILL BARR

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Obsessed With This Show 'Letterkenny' Now

F*CKFEST IN UTAH, Y'ALL!

Judicial Watch And Gateway Pundit Gonna GIT HER NOW!!!

QAnon Idiots Finally Go Too Far, Accuse Kate Bush Of Murder

Amy Klobuchar's Got Your Big Infrastructure Hangin'

Cussy The Clown Said A Cuss! Oh, Cussy!

Betsy DeVos Staying Strong After Noble Plan To Gut Special Olympics Funding Falls Through

Tell Us More About Your Terrific Healthcare Plan, All Republicans!

Woman Lawyer Won't Get DOJ Job Because She Hung Out With Women Lawyers

Devin Nunes Gonna Uber Over To The FBI, Make The FBI Put The FBI IN JAIL!

Let's Watch A Freshman Democrat Smack Mike Pompeo Around And Make Him SO MAD!

Someone's Projecting (Again). Wonkagenda For Fri., March 29, 2019

WONKERS, COME OUT TO PLAAAAY-AY!

Trump Probably Didn't Do Fraud With His $$$ Lies Since Nobody Believed Him Anyway

Is This The Most Weapons-Grade Stupid Thing A Trump Idiot Has Said All Week? Maybe!

NRA Official Wanted Sandy Hook Truther To Help Him Prove Parkland Was A Hoax

Donald Trump Has No Healthcare Plan Again, And This Time It's Even Better!

Trump Wants Intel Chair Adam Schiff To Resign? Sure! But First, Just One More Thing

Dems Forming Their Own Secret Senate To Actually Do Sh*t On Climate Change!

Judge Thinks Medicaid Is For 'Healthcare' Instead Of For 'Shaming Poor,' Is That Allowed?

'NO COLLUSION'? Not So Fast, A-Holes!

Ninth Circuit Court Rules It's OK For Cops To Steal From You. That's It. It's Okay For Cops To Steal From You.

And For Their Next Trick ... Yeah, It's Healthcare AGAIN. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 28, 2019

If Facebook Really Banned White Nationalists, Why Can We Still See Donald Trump And Steve King On Our Internet?

Christchurch Shooter Had Ties To Austrian Fascist. No, Not That One, Another One.

Trump And DeVos Just Robbing AUTISTIC BABIES Is All, And The Families Who Care For Them

Man-Bun Hipster Dude Tells ICE To Step The F*CK OFF

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Impassioned About Thing, Oh Sh*t RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

NRA Opposing 'Violence Against Women Act,' Because Stalkers Need Guns, Too

Batsh*t PA Rep Lady Won't Have Muslims Telling Her How To Pray To JESUS, JESUS, JESUS!

Trump Demanding We Kill Obamacare AGAIN, And His Hacks And Lackeys Are ON IT!

Is That Joe Biden Coming To Apologize, Anita Hill? STILL NO!

The Cover-Up Is Happening In Plain Sight

Betsy DeVos Cuts ALL Special Olympics Funding, Because That's What Disney Villains Do!

Breathe. Just Breathe. Wonkagenda For Wed., March 27, 2019

The Top Three Reasons Mitch McConnell Should Go F*ck Himself Right Now

Acting Defense Sec: WALL Won't Keep Us Safe, But The Old Man Wants It, So...

Utah Senator Mike Lee OWNS Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez With Oh We Are Just Funning You

Kamala Harris Suggests Paying Teachers Like They're Important

Trump Idiots Out For Adam Schiff's Blood, Because That Is Sane And Rational

Texas Being Just Like Jesus Again

Sorry About The Food Stamps, Puerto Rico. If Only You'd Been Born American!

We Endorse Susan Collins's Pro-Trump Primary Challenger Because 'Susan Collins'

The Ministry Of Truth Has Decided The Following Pundits Are Unpersons

GOP Decides To Run On Gutting Healthcare Again. It's A Bold Move, Cotton!

IT'S INFRASTRUCTURE WEEK! Wonkagenda For Tues., March 26, 2019

And Now, Sarah Huckabee Sanders With A Dramatic Reading Of The Day's Events

Michael Avenatti Has Been A VERY NAUGHTY BOY

Sandy Hook, Parkland Still Claiming Lives

​Lindsey Graham Gonna LOCK HER UP With Robert Mueller Or Something, F*ck If We Know

DOJ Exonerates Antifa! Thanks DOJ!

Not So Fast, Wingers! There Are Still One Or A Thousand Pending Investigations.

Top Three Trump-Level Crazy Science Stories Of Last Month!

Judges Keep Slapping Down Poor Betsy DeVos!

What Part Of 'Does Not Exonerate' Don't Republicans Understand?

Cool Mueller Letter From Guy Hired To Exonerate Trump, Now GIVE US THE F*CKING REPORT

Catch Me, If You Can! Wonkagenda For Mon., March 25, 2019

Stop Fretting Over The Mueller Report And Have Some Nice Things!

Forced Birth Enthusiasts Claim Vaccines Are Immunizing Us All To Their Prayers

Oh, Fun: Research Says Mass Shootings Make Insecure Dopes Feel 'Empowered' By Guns

​Georgia On My ​Uterus: State Becomes Seventh This Year To Pretty Much Ban Abortion

Your Weekly Top Ten Is PRESIDENT OF PRESCHOOL

BREAKING: ROBERT MUELLER DID THE THING

TFW You're Trying To Give Kim Jong Un A Reacharound But Mnuchin Won't Get Off Your Jock

Guess Posting Plan To 'Ethnically Cleanse' Your High School To 4Chan Isn't Such A Good Idea After All

You Eat Now: Lemon Cheesecake With Lemon Crust!

Trump Nominates Stephen Moore To The Fed. Who Is This Jagoff?

Trump Can't Reveal Secret Sexxx Chats With National Security Advisor Vladimir Putin, EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE APPLYETH!

Yes, Let's Talk About Terrorism, Laura Ingraham!

Steve King Borrows Obama's Time Machine To Be Racist About Hurricane Katrina

Indiana Teachers Whining SO MUCH About Getting Shot During Active Shooting Drill

Anti-Union Kickstarter Employees Are Hep To The Social Justice Lingo!

Has Trump Mentioned Lately That Dead John McCain Makes Him So Angry Like GRRR ARGH?

Judge Declares Wisconsin GOP's Lame Duck Power Grab Illegal, Tacky As Hell

Trump-Loving Terrorist Cesar Sayoc Set To Make Prison Great Again

Trump Doing Pretty Well Off Suckers Donating To 2020 Campaign

Hug It And Kiss It And Call It George. Wonkagenda For Fri., March 22, 2019

Trump White House: F*CK IT, WE'RE DOING THE WATERGATE THING!

Jared Kushner Has TEENY TINY LITTLE 'But Her Emails' Problem

Oklahoma Sheriff, Staff, All Resign Over Massive Jail F*ckery

Oh Look, Devin Nunes Defended Teabaggers Calling John Lewis The 'N'-Word

'Fox & Friends': Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Must Be Puppet Because Girls Are Stupid

Hey, At Least John Hickenlooper Didn't Ask When MEN'S History Month Is

New Zealand Bans Assault Rifles In Under A Week, How's That Even Possible?

CNN Knows Who Is 'Badass' And It Is Kellyanne Conway, So That's Some Horse Sh*t Right There

Kentucky Gov. Matt Bevin To Own Kids: 'A Pox Upon Thee!'

John Kelly Available To Besmirch You In Racist, Sexist Manner At Your Next Event!

Preet Bharara: OF COURSE We All Thought About Taping Trump. THAT F*CKER LIES!

UNINTELLIGIBLE YELLING. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 21, 2019

John McCain's Ghost An Ingrate: Donald Trump

Trump Just Told ISIS Where We'll Be Attacking, On The White House Lawn

That's Not What He Said! Mayor Pete / Hillary Clinton Edition

Ex-Speaker Paul Ryan Weasels His Way Onto Fox Board

Hey Michael Flynn! You Been Dickin' Around With Erik Prince's Secret Russian Beer Buddy?

Pete Buttigieg On Morning Joe: Yes We Said Yes We Will Yes

Mexicans Build Home Security Walls With Stolen Razor Wire, And America Paid For It

In Tonight's Performance, The Role Of 'Devin Nunes's Cow' Will Be Played By George Conway

Florida Man Gonna Save Kids From All That Porn In School Libraries

Katie Pavlich Wants Her Gold Star Please For Not Having Slaves

FRIENDSHIP. Wonkagenda For Wed., March 20, 2019

Trump Had A Playdate With A Fellow Fascist Dipsh*t Today

Anti-Vaxxers Harassing Moms Whose Babies Died, So That's TERRIFIC!

SCOTUS Says F**K You To Immigrants & Due Process

The Germans Are Calling Us Fascists, Is America Great Again Now?

Michael Cohen Warrant Docs Would Freak Trump The F*ck Out, If Trump Could Read (Allegedly!)

Devin Nunes Sues Devin Nunes's Cow For Alienation (And Sedition) Of Affection

Oh, F*ck You Joe Manchin (Part 9,237)

Does Deutsche Bank LIKE IT When Trump Is Nasty?

Gillibrand Talks Immigration, Education, That Other Thing You Won't Shut Up About At MSNBC Town Hall

Elizabeth Warren Gonna Yell That Old Electoral College Right Out Of Town!

Brother Of The Year Sells His Sister's Hoohoo-Peener Pics For $200K

More Like Devin MOO-MES, ARE WE RIGHT? Wonkagenda For Tues., March 19, 2019

Wash Your Eyeballs Clean With New Zealand Kids Honoring Fallen Classmates With Haka

ICE Has Held Grampa With Alzheimer's For 9 Months. Don't You Feel Safe?

Putin's Latest Fascist Law Will Make Trump Jizz Himself SILLY

Oleg Deripaska Sues Stephen Mnuchin For Making Him Poor

George And Kellyanne Conway Fighting Again, About How Her Boss Is Psychopath Who Will Kill Us All

Elizabeth Warren Running For President OF NERDS!

South Carolina *Crooked Sheriffs*??? You Don't F*cking Say!

GOP Now Just Being Racist About White People

Run, Stacey, Run!

Fifteen Didn't Get Jeffrey Epstein Twenty

Inconsolable Dipsh*t Demands Dead Guy Stop Hurting His Feelings

Won't Someone Think Of The Poor AR-15's? Oh, This Assh*le Will!

Chuck Todd To Beto: How's That Hopey Changey Thing Workin' Out For Ya?

GOP Knows Who's The REAL White Nationalist Terrorists, And It Is ... Oh, You Know The Drill

White Riot. Wonkagenda For Mon., March 18, 2019

Bet You Could Use Some Nice Things About Now!

Kirsten Gillibrand Is RUNNING! (We Figured, But Now It's Official)

Dang! Things Don't Seem To Be Going Too Well For Aunt Becky And Her Family Of Grifters

So Kentucky Pretty Much Banned Abortion This Week

New Zealand Ready To Ban Semi-Automatic Guns, Australia (Re)Bans Milo Yiannopoulos

Your Weekly Top Ten STICKS ITS TONGUE OUT AT YOU

Here's To 86 More Years Of Ruth Bader Ginsburg Being The Boss Of You!

F*ck It, It's Comfort Food RECIPE HUB TIME.

Gay PM Leo Varadkar Tells Mike Pence To Kiss His Irish Ass

The Kids Are Working On Saving Life On Earth. How About You?

The 174 Sh*ttiest Things Conservatives Have Said About The New Zealand Mosque Shooting SO FAR

Who Else Killed Stories For The Trump Campaign? Surprise, It's RUPERT MURDOCH!

New Zealand Shooter's Manifesto: Sh*tposting For The Whites

No, We Haven’t Cured AIDS ... Yet

Lindsey Graham Doesn't Want Mueller Report To Be Public. He Worried He's In It?

Facebook Is Sorry For All The Crimes It Might Have Committed

We Are Sorry, New Zealand

THIS IS NOT FINE. Wonkagenda For Fri., March 15, 2019

That's Not What She Said: Kamala Vs. Beto Edition!

Donald Trump Threatens Biker Gang-Led Civil War, So That's Cool And Normal

Senate Embarrasses Trump On Border Wall 'Emergency'

Latest Michael Cohen Pardon Defense Courtesy Of American Honky Tonk Bar Association

Beto O'Rourke Was Born To Be In This Headline

The Five Stupidest Things Howard Schultz Said Yesterday

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Guillotines Wells Fargo On Live TV

UH OH, Jerry Nadler, Did Meatball LIE TO CONGRESS?

Beto O'Rourke: Who, This Old Thing?

Elizabeth Warren Will Tell You Why Mike Pence Sucks Every Day Until The End Of Time

GOP Reps Will Get That DEEP STATE, Or LIE TRYING!

Congress Wants Its Wallet Back. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 14, 2019

We Don't Mean To Be Rude, But Paul Manafort's Lawyer Is A Sh*thole Garbage Person

Paul Manafort, GO THE F*CK TO NEW YORK JAIL WHENEVER YOU GET DONE WITH FEDERAL JAIL!

Gavin Newsom Kills Death Penalty In California Dead

Mar-a-Lago Massage Parlor Owner Flogging Golden Ticket Visas Like A Common Kushner

FAA Not Worried About These Death Plunge 737s, No Sir!

Michael Flynn So Scared Of The Judge On His Case, It Is HILARIOUS

RUH RO! Court Docs From College Admissions Scam Will Make Your BLOOD BOIL

Child Rape Apologist Tucker Carlson Said Gross Things About Miss Teen USAs

Manafort Judge LOCKS HER UP!

President Bone Spurs Gets OK To Keep America Safe From Transgender Troops

Meet Neomi Rao, Your New Brett Kavanaugh. No, Not That Way.

You Know What To Do. Wonkagenda For Wed., March 13, 2019

Mitt Romney Bad At Birthday Cake

Spectacular Stacey Abrams Says She May Run For President! Also Beto Might Too

Facebook Hits Elizabeth Warren With A Banhammer For Being Mean To Facebook

Felicity Huffman, Lori Loughlin Cast As Indictees In Gross College Bribe Scam

Is It Time To LOCK HER UP Roger Stone Yet? Maybe Almost!

Donald Trump Proclaimed Greatest Golfer Ever, By Donald Trump

NRA Having Just A Terrible Time, Isn't That Sad?

Tuesday March 12, 2019

Trump Budget Dude: THANKS OBAMA

Child Rape Apologist Tucker Carlson Also Said Some Racist Sh*t. In Other News, Sky Blue.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Graces Our Presence, Mostly Lies About Jews

Nancy Pelosi Punches Trump In Face For Entire Length Of Washington Post Interview

Neil 'The Grifty One' Bush Asked Chinese Dudes For Illegal Campaign Money? That Can't Be Right.

Bye Bye Love. Wonkagenda For Tues., March 12, 2019

It's Like Yelp, But For Chickensh*t Trump Snowflakes Who Need Their Mommy

Donald Trump Gonna Cut Medicare Just Like He Promised Not To

Meanwhile In Wingnutistan, It's Almost LOCK HER UP O'Clock!

A GOP Congressman Just Stole Devin Nunes's Favorite Love Cow

Puerto Rico Cutting Food Stamps Because Mitch McConnell's A Dick

David Frum On Immigration: A Polished, SFW Version Of A Tucker Carlson Rant

Being Tucker Carlson Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry For Defending Child Rape

Racism-Enabling GOP Psychos Denouncing Anti-Semitism!

Boy Mayor Pete Buttigieg Did An SXSW Town Hall AND IT WAS YAY!

A Real Journalist Nailed Erik Prince For Being A LIARF*CKINGLIAR, And It Was DELICIOUS

Trump Inauguration: When The Money Keeps Rolling In, You Don't Ask HOW

Judge Jeanine Too Bigotty Even For Fox

Devin Nunes Will Save Us All From The STRAW POLICE

Trump PAC Exactly As Ethical As Trump Campaign And Trump Org, So Time To LAWYER UP!

IT'S ALL FINE. Wonkagenda For Mon., March 11, 2019

Wonkette Book Club: Oh F*ck It's Reagan Time

The Week In Garbage Men: When's MEN's History Month, Huh?

Elizabeth Warren Wants To Beat Big Tech With An Antitrust Stick

Howard Schultz: Go The F**K Away Forever

Famous Mall Perv Roy Moore Ready To Ride Again

Influence Peddling At Mar-A-Lago? We Are SHOCKED! SHOCKED!

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Still Looking For Michael Cohen's Boxes, WHAR BOXES?

Trump Autographing Bibles In Alabama, So ... Um ... HAVE A BLESSED F*CKIN' WEEKEND, Y'ALL!

February Jobs Numbers: Could Be A Slowdown. Could Be The Weather. Could be DEMONS.

Chelsea Manning Going To Jail Again

'Scary' Ilhan Omar Makes Meghan McCain Cry

Meet Stephanie Flowers, VOICE OF A RIGHTEOUS WRATHFUL GOD

President WordStupid Has Thoughts To Share, And They Are 'COLLUSION WITCH HOAX!'

LET AMERICANS VOTE, GODDAMMIT

Dinesh D'Souza Wants National Guard To Use Force On Liberal Protesters Again, For Free Speech

Donald Trump Turning Military Into Mob Protection Racket

Pelosi Totally Chill With Sending Trump's Gangster Kids To Jail

24 Republicans Vote For Hatred

596,852 Low-Level Offenders Who Got Off Worse Than Paul Manafort, Who Is Blameless And Pure Of Heart

David Brooks And Er ... I ... Uh ... Eh?

Protection Racket. Wonkagenda For Fri., March 8, 2019

WHAT THE F*CK, MANAFORT JUDGE?

Nancy Pelosi Takes GOP Demand To Condemn Muslim Lady, Turns It On Their Charlottesville Asses

R. Kelly Has Been Assassinated By The Lying Devil

Michael Cohen F*cks Trump, Sends Trump The Dry-Cleaning Bill

Sherrod Brown Nixes 2020 Run To Keep Kicking Ass In Senate

Neo-Nazis Have A New Drug, And It Is Tucker Carlson

Facebook 'Pivots To Privacy.' Dick Pics And Disinfo For Everyone!

Chuck Schumer Borrows Nancy Pelosi's Spine Again, Green New Deal Edition

America's Greatest Artist: Disloyal Dems Hug Scary Foreign Flags Of 'Europe' And 'California'

A Gross NSFW Story About Trump, Michael Cohen, And Rudy Giuliani Dangling Their Dingles At Each Other

Just Border Patrol Harassing Lawyers And Journalists, NOTHING TO SEE HERE!

We Tried To List All Kirstjen Nielsen's Baby Jail Testimony Lies. We Failed.

Elijah Cummings COMING For Election Brian Kemp Stole From Stacey Abrams

WHATCHU TALKIN' BOUT MICHAEL COHEN. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 7, 2019

Those Wacky Dems Want To Throw MONEY At Child Poverty!

What's In Michael Cohen's Boxes? Oh, Just The Last Shreds Of Jay Sekulow's Reputation, Maybe

Herr Senator Doctor Rand Paul Wants Your Kids To Die Of Freedom Measles

WHAR BOXES?

Wanna Watch A Republican Legislator Scream About Anal Sex For A Full Minute?

Meet Daniel Goldman, The Dashing Young Buck Adam Schiff Just Hired To Kick Trump's Ass

Fox Shot The Sheriff (David Clarke) (And So Did Trump's Scam PAC) (Sad)

'National Treasure' But For Donald Trump's Military School Records

Whatever Vanky Wants, Vanky Gets! And What Vanky Wants Is CLASSIFIED DATA.

Papa John Is Papa Unemployed

Robert Mueller Recommends Paul Manafort Eat A Thousand Bags Of Dicks, In Prison

Jerry Falwell Jr. To Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: I Didn't Threaten To Shoot Muslims, I Just Threatened To Shoot YOU!

Michael Bloomberg, Get The F*ck ... Okay Thanks!

Stone Rogers Himself ROYALLY

Poor Marks. Wonkagenda For Wed., March 6, 2019

Americans United At Last: Trump's A Dirty, Crimey, Crooked Man

Texas Gov Knows Who F*cked Up His 'Illegals Voting' Scam, And It Was ... NOT THE DEMS????

N.H. Men Don Pearls To Show Moms Who Oppose Gun Murders Are Stupid And Dumb

Nice Obstruction Of Justice Investigation. Be A Shame If It Got Screwed Up Because Some Idiot Couldn't Stop Lying For Five Minutes.

David Brooks Is Concerned, You Guys! Medicare For All Is Hard & Stuff So F*ck It

If We Blame Hillary For This Uranium/Bears Ears F*ckery, Maybe Fox Will Care!

Jay Inslee Humiliates Meghan McCain On 'The View' So He's Officially President Now

Hillary Clinton Taking Time Off From Child Pizza Sex Ring To Not Run For President Again

Judiciary Chair Jerry Nadler: Just The Witch Hunter We've Been Waiting For!

Witch-Hunters Closing In. Wonkagenda For Tues., March 05, 2019

New NC GOP Congressional Candidate Gonna Stuff Your Ballot Box ... WITH SEXXX SECRETS

Who Among Us Hasn't Sold Hoohoo-Peener Pics Of Our Sister And Jeff Bezos To The National Enquirer For $250K?

John Hickenlooper Will Be President Of Being Nice To Mitch McConnell, OK Nope

Republicans Say Stupid Sh*t Lies, Weekend Show Edition!

Zee Era Of Fox News Giving Sebastian Gorka A Pity Paycheck Is OV-UH

Why Is President ToddlerSh*ts McSad Having A Meltdown Today?

Roger Stone Has The Right To Remain Silent, But Not The Ability

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Rides Around In Her Aunt's Chrysler Like A Big Car-Ridin' JERK!

John Hickenlooper Blazes On To Campaign Trail

NO RUSSIA! NO COLLUSION! So ... No Jail Time, Right?

'I'm Totally Off Script Right Now.' Wonkagenda For Mon., March 4, 2019

Wonkette Book Club: America's Strikingly Bloody Labor History

Politico Now Wondering If Kamala Harris Is *Too* Likable To Be President

DEFY DEATH With Us, In Denver, TODAY!

Elizabeth Warren Shan't Be Calling Mike Pence 'Decent' Any Time Soon

Sad Old Man Humps American Flag, Does Other Embarrassing Things

One Million Moms Sh*t The Bed Over A Freakin' Cottonelle Commercial.

How About A Fake Nobel Nomination For A Fake President?

Your Weekly Top Ten Is We Don't Feel Like Making A Creative Headline Right Now

Happy Friday! Here's Some Horrifying Sh*t From Politico About Trump's Foreign Policy Shop!

Florida GOPer Real Sorry He Called Pregnant Women 'Host Bodies'

George Conway Gonna Be Sleeping On That Couch FOREVER

A Black Guy Is Taking Over A Neo-Nazi Group, And It Only Gets Weirder From There.

HHS Demands Stupidest Apology Since ... Mark Meadows, Yesterday

Hey, Louisiana Dipsh*t Congressman Idiot! We Found Michael Cohen's Boxes!

Paul LePage Won't Let 'Democracy' Keep The White Man Down

Turns Out The Kushners Got Their Security Clearances The Old-Fashioned Way -- From Daddy

Nancy Pelosi: Enjoy!

Mark Meadows Should Apologize To The Obamas' Black Kids. Then Every Other Black Kid In America

Stupid Dumb Measles Bullsh*t, Texas And Montana Republican Editions

President Jay Inslee Will Put Solar Panels On White House, Capitol, Your Mom

Guess Sean Hannity Wants To Be Under Investigation, Just Like His Beloved President

We Got Your 'Liberal Media' Hanging

Kiss A Rare Disease If You're Irish!

INFINITE SCREAMMMMM! Wonkagenda For Fri., March 1, 2019

Dinesh D'Souza Does To Poetry What He's Done To History, By A Doctor Of Rhetoric

Okay, WHO THE F*CK IS ALLEN WEISSELBERG? Maybe You Are Just Curious?

WHO THE F*CK IS MATTHEW CALAMARI? A Squidsplainer Of Who The F*ck That Is

Elijah Cummings Dad-Splained Michael Cohen And Made Him (And America!) Cry

House Finally Votes To TAKE YR GUNS. (If You Are A Criminal, YAY!)

Hannity Awards Trump Shiny Participation Nobel For Tapping Out In North Korea

Trump Bot Not Actually Going To Do Much Of Anything At CNN, Turns Out

Maryland Dem Has No Idea How That Racism Fell Out Of Her Mouth!

Mark Harris Drops Out Of NC-9 Election Do-Over, So Boss Hogg Will Have To Git Those Duke Boys

Mark Meadows's Black Friend Says Trump Is Black Too

Pramila Jayapal Introduces REAL Medicare For All, And IT'S SPECTACULAR

You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Feb. 28, 2019

Michael Cohen Intermission: WHO ELSE IS (MAYBE) GOING TO JAIL?

HOLY JESUS F*CK! Your Michael Cohen Liveblog!

Matt Gaetz Isn't Threatening Michael Cohen, He's Just Saying Something Bad Might Happen If He Testifies

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner? Wonkagenda For Wed., Feb. 27, 2019

If You Saw Jacob Wohl At A Hipster Coffee Shop, You'd Go Find A Policeman

Mitch McConnell SO MAD Democrats Forced GOP To Cheat In North Carolina Election

Paul Manafort Is A Lover, Not A Fighter. He Can Go Home Now, Yes?

Diamond And Silk Cruelly Snubbed By The Oscars, Says Guy Who Did Not See Their 'Movie'

Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez Pays Staffers Decent Wages. What Is This, VENEZUELA?

How Bad Is Trump Gonna F*ck It Up With Kim Jong Un, On A Scale Of One To 'Oops, I Gave Ivanka To North Korea'?

Ivanka Trump Has Something Stupid To Say About Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez And Money

Shameless Lindsey Graham Sold Out To Trump For ‘Relevance’ & PEZ

Michael Cohen's Going To F*ck Trump On Live TV Tomorrow, And HE'S BRINGING RECEIPTS

Trump Lawyers Think They're Doing GOTCHAS To House Judiciary Committee. YOU BET.

SCOTUS Invalidates Equal Pay Ruling Just Because Judge Is A Ghost

Chinaman Not The Preferred Nomenclature, Trump. Wonkagenda For Tues., Feb. 26, 2019

Roger Stone's Interns Seem Nice

Marco Rubio REALLY Wants To Make A Venezuelan Snuff Film

Trump Sued For 'Access Hollywood'-ing All Over Campaign Staffer, ALLEGEDLY, OH HOW SHOCKING!

Meet Daryl. Daryl Loves Carbon Dioxide. Daryl Hates When Gays Make Him Gay With Their Gay Elbows. Hi, Daryl!

Sunday Show GOP Idiots: Come For The Casual Racism, Stay For The ... More Casual Racism!

Justin Fairfax Goes Full Clarence Thomas

We Don't Think Robert Mueller Is Very Fond Of This Paul Manafort Fella

Coal Bride Kelly Craft Will Learn The UN Good About BOTH SIDES Of Climate Change

Happy Monday! Let's Talk About The President's Feelings

Donald Trump Jr. Knows Who To Blame For Chasmic Void In His Soul, It Is Definitely Instagram's Fault

I Feel Guilty!

So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish! Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 25, 2019

Let's All Relax With Some NICE THINGS

Wonkette Book Club: Union Maids, Slavery, And Wild-Eyed Radicals

80-Year-Old KKK-Loving Alabama Editor Ready To 'Sex Young Ladies.'

Just So We're Clear, Trump's Gag Rule Will Result In More Abortions.

R. Kelly Is A Bad Man Who Was Good At Singing... Now He's In Jail.

Dianne Feinstein Was A Dick Again

Your Weekly Top Ten Has Few Opinions On Amy Klobuchar's Comb-Forks

12-Year-Old Reporter Makes Arizona Cop Look Like Doofus, Because He Is One

MN House Gets With The Times Of 1993, Votes To Outlaw Marital Rape Exceptions

Nevada Has Crazy Idea: After A Massacre, Pass Gun Laws. Is That Even Legal?

Paul Manafort Can Go To ALL THE JAILS!

Trump Won't Let Russia Steal 2020 Election For Him, LOL Just Kidding Yes He Will

Better Sit Down For This One: Dr. Keith Ablow Miiiiight Be An Abusive Sex Creep

Laura Ingraham: Dems So Happy White Supremacist Wants To Kill Us All Because ... Jussie Smollett

Republican Lunatic Will Give Montana Its Very Own Science, Hooray!

Busted Running An International Pedophile Ring? Better Call Labor Secretary Alex Acosta!

A Brief Love Letter To Attorney General Bill Barr, In Advance Of The Mueller Report: F*CKING GIVE IT!

Matt Gaetz Has A Super Creepy Fetish For Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Another Bill In The Wall. Wonkagenda For Fri., Feb. 22, 2019

Roger Stone Not Going To Jail Until Next Time He Pulls Some Real Dumb Sh*t, So ... Next Week-ish?

North Carolina Ninth: SON OF A PREACHER MAN!

Jason Reitman Knows Who The Real Fans Of 'Ghostbusters' Are -- Whiny Misogynists

Let's Talk About Dumb Foreign Agent Dipsh*t Michael Flynn, Because It Is A Day

Domestic Terrorist Coast Guard Man Just Wanted To Cleanse Nation Of Its Enemies (Reporters And Democrats), And Everyone Else

MAGA Brat Had A Bad Weekend So He'd Like $250 Million From The Washington Post, Please

Oh, Did Something Happen With The Jussie Smollett Case?

Kamala Harris Was On 'The Daily Show' And It Was Delightful And You Watch It Right Now!

Tucker Carlson's 'Moron' Guest Kicks Him In The Crotch (WITH VOTES)

Meet Trump's New Climate Policy Guy: This F*cking Lunatic

Coming To A Head. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Feb. 21, 2019

Relax, Everyone: Robert Mueller Is Not DUMPING YOU, Just Kidding Maybe He Is

Christian Foster Care Agency Hating On The Catholics, Because It's The 1950s Apparently

Eric Trump Gonna Tell His Deadbeat Dad You Called His Deadbeat Dad A Deadbeat Dad!

Clarence Thomas: Who Left This Pubic Hair On Trump's First Amendment?

Trump So Mad At Dan Coats He's Gonna Be A Chickensh*t Who's Too Scared To Fire Him

SCOTUS Rules Cops Can't Seize Your Sh*t Like Common Gangsters

Elijah Cummings Will F*ck Trump's Saudi Nuclear Grifting Up Six Ways From Sunday

North Carolina 9th District Vote Fraudy Fraud Fraud Hearings, Day Two!

Proposed Civil War Memorial Would 'Both Sides' Lincoln's Assassination

TO INFINITY! Wonkagenda For Wed., Feb. 20, 2019

CNN Hires Trump Staffer With No Journalism Experience To Run 2020 Coverage

Trump Tried To Make Meatball Move On SDNY Like A Bitch, But He Couldn't Get There :(

Trump's Busy Schedule: Gotta Make The Nicknames!

Elizabeth Warren Sending Her Aunt Bee To Give EVERYBODY Childcare!

Devin Nunes Didn't F*ck A Cow When FBI Opened Trump-Russia Investigation, Dunno What His Deal Is Now

Amy Klobuchar Not Afraid To Crush Your Silly Progressive Dreams

Fake Progressive Russian Troll Farm Slapped Off Facebook

Alabama Newspaper Editor Nostalgic For The Good Ol' KKKs

How Much Of A Dumbass Is Roger Stone? THIS MUCH DUMBASS

Come On In, Bernie Sanders! The Water's Fine!

OH NOES! SOCIALISTS! Wonkagenda For Tues., Feb. 19, 2019

Protesters Declare Donald Trump The REAL National Emergy

We've Asked This Before, But WHAT F*CKING SECRET IS PAUL MANAFORT WILLING TO DIE IN PRISON TO KEEP FOR TRUMP AND RUSSIA?

North Carolina Election Fraud STILL GOING

South Carolina Politicians Seriously Considering Not Letting Cops Rob People Anymore

Montana Prosecutor Stands Strong For Right To Handle Rape Cases ... Poorly

Trump's Terrible UN Pick Heather Nauert Has Nanny Problem, Because It's Always 1994

Trump's Executive Time Golfing Ketchup Omelet National Emergency Holiday Whack-Off Weekend Was Pretty Chill

Kamala Harris Puts Hot Sauce On Her Greens, Hang Her For A Witch!

TRUMP DOESN'T CARE, HE BELIEVES PUTIN!

Maine Ex-Gov Paul LePage Eated All The Trump Hotel Snacks

Lindsey Graham, Stephen Miller Interrupt Your Sunday With Their Stupid Lie-Holes

Mike Pence Embarasses Himself (Again). Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 18, 2019

Look At All The Nice Things. Just LOOK At Them!

The 'God's Not Dead' People Made A Movie About Abortion, And Boy Is It Ever Full Of Lies.

RBG Went To Work Yesterday, But That Won't Convince The Geniuses Who Think She Is Dead

Aurora Shooter Had A History Of Violence Against Women, Because Of Course He Did.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is AT THE BEACH! The MEXICO BEACH!

Trump Own Goals The Libs On Twitter. Again.

SOCIALISTS COMING FOR YOUR FAMILY VALUES, EVERYBODY PANIC!

Chuck Schumer Going On Offense On Climate Change? Be Still Our Hearts!

Jeff Bezos's Dick: A Cautionary Tale

Did Two Syphilitic Raccoons Just F*ck Each Other To Death In The Rose Garden, Or Was That Just Trump's Brain?

Howard Schultz, Who Everyone Hates, Promises He'll Drop Out If Dems Nominate 'Centrist' No One Will Like

CAN HE DO THAT? A Wallsplainer!

BREAKING: Trump Dumber Than Dry Dogsh*t, Jeff Sessions Racist As F*ck

Montana's Medicaid Expansion Is Getting Weird

Sports Shop Owner Kaepernicks Himself Right Out Of Business

EMERGENCY! ACHTUNG! Wonkagenda For Fri., Feb. 15, 2019

Checkmate, Libs: 7 Morons From Kansas Decide Gay People Are A Religion!

Trump Murdering Election Security Task Forces, Because ... Oh No Reason!

The Week In The World's Most Garbagey Man, Donald Trump Jr.

Jerry Nadler Ready To Devour A Second Helping Of Meatball

Andrew McCabe Has A Few Things To Say About President Bugf*ck

It's Been A Year Since Parkland. Almost 1,200 Kids Have Died By Guns. God Bless America.

What We Do To The Least Among Us Is This Refugee Kids' Tent City

'Nazis Are Bad' Ad Too Controversial For Fox News

Can Somebody Hold Eric Swalwell's Beer While He Kicks Richard Burr Square In The Dick?

Judge Says Paul Manafort Is Total LIAR F*CKING LIAR, Hopes He Stubs His Toe In Jail

Rep. Ilhan Omar Would Just Like To Know Which Massacre Elliott Abrams Is Proudest Of

Is THIS The Trump/Russian/Israeli/Emirati/Saudi Arabian Ratf*cking Robert Mueller Is Looking For? Hell If We Know!

Love Your Children Well. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Feb. 14, 2019

Internet Dicks Zapruder The Sh*t Out Of Kamala Harris Smokin' Some Sh*t

Let's All Die Of Measles, Again!

Roger Stone Demands Robert Mueller Stop Using Chronological Time

Esquire Bravely Confronts National Emergency Of Straight White Men Being Told To Shut Up Sometimes

Trump's Billionaire Pal Tom Barrack Defends Saudis' Peculiar Institution: Journalist Murder

Howard Schultz 'Doesn't See Race,' Is Stupid About Other Things Too

Trump's Plan B: Make WALL From California's Ashes, Tears Of Puerto Ricans

President Good Brain Invents Fourth Of July

Trump Demands Rep. Ilhan Omar Resign For Bigoted Tweet And Now Irony Is Dead & Buried In Shallow Grave

Fox News Too Classy To Air Tucker Carlson Screaming Obscenities At 'Moron' Guest

Green New Deal Will Steal Your Farting Cow's Bicycle

Trump Speaks For The Jews. Wonkagenda For Wed., Feb. 13, 2019

Trump Has No Time For A Dog, Because He's So Busy Tweeting And Pooping And Watching TV And ...

Trump Goads MAGA Banshee Man Into Cameraman-Attacking Frenzy

Pecker Moved On Saudis Like A Bitch, But He Just Couldn't Get There

What Does Trump Think Should Be Done When A Non-Viable Baby Is Born?

It's Still The Collusion, Stupid (By Which We Mean CONSPIRACY)

Trump Sticks D*ck In Toaster Again With Yet Another NDA Lawsuit

Astronaut Mark Kelly Launches 2020 Campaign For Senate Like A Rocketship, Whoosh!

Donald Trump Measuring His Dick Again, Beto O'Rourke Edition

Congress Reaches Shutdown Deal If Fox & Friends Don't Veto It

Roger Stone Seems Upset

Trump V. Beto: No Contest. Wonkagenda For Tues., Feb. 12, 2019

Mommy, Why Are The Never-Trumpers Fighting Like Idiots?

Two Men. One Border. One Brain.

Kamala Harris Confesses To Having Reefer Madness

We Have Always Been At War With Shutdownia

Jerome Corsi Pretty Sure Roger Stone Gonna Heart Attack Him To Death, If The Boobies Don't Get To Him First

Maybe Ralph Northam Just Shouldn't Talk

Brit Hume Pretty Sure Trump Too Stupid To Be Racist

Pete Hegseth Dirty

President Big Mac Tanning Bed So Mad Everybody Knows He's Lazyass

Leaking Naked Pics Of Your Own Sister And Blaming The Deep State. Baller Move, Bro!

ANOTHER Government Shutdown!?! Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 11, 2019.

Amy Klobuchar Announces 2020 Presidential Run From BOOM ISLAND!

Yr Sunday Nice Things Are Here. No Jeff Bezos's Junk Anywhere!

Ralph Northam Set To Take Refresher Course In Not Being A Racist

Republican Creeper Claims He Is Being Persecuted By Gay People Who Won't Let Him Persecute Them.

Justin Fairfax Just Needs To Get The Hell On Out Of Here.

In This Episode Of Bonesaw Weekly, Saudi Arabia Opts For The Subtle Approach

Elizabeth Warren Is RUNNING! Let's Watch It Live!

Your Weekly Top Ten Got A HAIRCUT!

Candace Owens, Hugh Hewitt Have Big Thoughts On HITLER

Manafort Judge Probably Loved It A Lot When Lawyers Lied To Her, Don't You Think?

Texas Jackwad Lied About 'Illegal' Voters, Part 43

Brett Kavanaugh Just Made Susan Collins A Liar

Human Vortex Howard Schultz Had A Party, And Nobody Came

Trump's Latest Fox News Hire Seems ... Kinda Qualified Actually?!

Are George Papadopoulos And Sergei Millian The Two Dumbest Idiots In The Whole Trump-Russia Scandal? Sure Why Not.

Laura Ingraham Demands Gucci Keep Making Racist Sweaters To Own The Libs

John Dingell Jr.: A Wonkpreciation!

IT'S MEATBALL-THIRTY, MOTHERF*CKERS! A Liveblog

Grab A Big Peener Toilet For Jeff Bezos, Because Turns Out That Thing Is HOLYSHITHUGE

Bezos Whips It Out. Wonkagenda For Fri., Feb. 8, 2019

Green New Deal? ONE, PLEASE!

Meatball McPeenerToilet Probably Too Stupid To Testify For Congress, TBH

Tucker Carlson JUST ASKING Why Stacey Abrams Wants To Enslave All The White Men?

Congress Finally Held Hearings On Gun Violence, So Matt Gaetz Lied About Mexicans

Justin Fairfax Is Just Gonna Drag This Sh*t Out, Isn't He?

President Grandpa, Would You RELAX? Dems Will Never Stop Investigating You, And Your Whining Is Pathetic

Paul Erickson, You're Finally A STAR ... In The Mueller Investigation. Please Clap.

Did Ex-NY Times Ed Jill Abramson Steal All The Words Or Just Some Of The Words? A Deep Investigation Into 'Yikes!'

83,000 Florida Ballots Were FUBAR In 2018 Gov Race, So: SURPRISE!

Whole Lotta WHOLE LOT Going On! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Feb. 7, 2019

Tulsi Gabbard Being Weird As F*ck Again

Trump Admin LENDS A HAND To Payday Lenders. Take That, Obama!

Did Roger Stone DEEP STATE Jeff Bezos's Marriage To Death? Inquiring Minds Want To Know!

Adam Schiff Announces House Intel Plan To F*ck Trump-Russia F*ckers The F*ck Up

FBI Sad For All The Persecuted Nazis

Virginia Officially Lost Its Damn Mind 2: MORE Blackface Boogaloo

Peggy Noonan Doth Not Approve Of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Let Us Not Forget How Much Stacey Abrams Kicked Ass Last Night

Wingnuts ON FIRE With Love For Greatest SOTU Since Washington, Churchill, Genghis Khan

Knock Knock, Donny! It's ALLLLLL The Lawyers

Alabama AG: It's Totally Cool For Cops To Shoot Black Men In The Back

Trump's Nixon Moment. Wonkagenda For Wed., Feb. 6, 2019

Let's Liveblog Nancy Pelosi's Facial Expressions While Some Dipsh*t Pretends To Be President

We Read All 284 Pages Of BuzzFeed's Trump Tower Moscow Documents, And Now We Hate Everybody In This Story

Trump's Mar-A-Lago Weekends A Bargain Compared To Obama's Dijon Mustard Habit, Says GAO

Steven Mnuchin Playing Hide-Trump's Tax Returns From Congress Like Craven Shameless F*ckwad Jerkoff Scofflaw Assw*pe D*ckface He Is

Fox News Calls Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Dirtiest Slur It Knows: 'Fair'

Pelosi Will Tolerate Trump's Dumb Ass In Her House For One Night Only

Feds Gonna LOCK HER UP Trump's Whooooole Inauguration

Conditions At Frozen Brooklyn Jail Finally Upgraded To 'Victorian'

Will Someone Please Get Liz Crokin Help Before She Citizen's Arrests Hillary Clinton?

All Right, Coffee Prick, That'll Be Enough From You

Everyone In Virginia Has Officially Lost Their Damn, Moonwalking Minds

Meet Your New Ryan Zinke, Same As The Old Ryan Zinke!

Pomp And Circumstance. Wonkagenda For Tues., Feb. 5, 2019

Trump Data Guru Idiot Brad Parscale: LOL No Srsly, A Idiot!

Government: Reuniting All The Kids We Stole Would Make The Children Sad :(

Max Boot Finally Ready To Be A Democrat, Just In The 1990s

Classy President Runs Even Classier Campaign

We're Not Even Going To Say What This Kansas Judge Did In The Headline, Because UGHHHHH

President Big Mac Probably America's Greatest National Security Threat, So That's GREAT!

Top Three Batsh*t Crazy Science Stories Of The Month!

Ralph Northam Ruins Super Bowl For Top Staff, Still Hasn't Resigned

White People Carefully Discussing Blackface And Race

Trump Says One Smart Thing, Goes Back To Being Dipsh*t

Kris Kobach, Other Grifty Creeps Bilking Bigots For Trump's WALL

BREAKING: Chairman Channel Surf Spends Days Watching His Stories, Eating BonBons

INFRASTRUCTURE WEEK! Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 04, 2019

If These Aren't Nice Things, I Don't Know What Is!

Ralph Northam Continues Digging Self Into Michael Jackson Shaped Hole

The Week In Garbage Humans: It Has Been A TERFy Ass Week

Dad Who Natural Remedied His Son To Death To Speak At Health Convention

VA Gov Ralph Northam Can Get The F*KKK OUT

Your Weekly Top Ten Is COVERED IN SNOW

Tucker Carlson Explains Cold Weather Breaks Wind

VINDICATED! Donald Trump Jr. Didn't Do ANY Crimes That One Time! (Perhaps! Allegedly! MAYBE.)

John Bolton Wants To Arrest Venezuela's Maduro, Probably For Murdering WaPo's Khashoggi

Laura Ingraham Finally In Favor Of Religious Headgear

Trump To Bring Profound Misunderstanding Of Abortion Laws To State Of The Union Address

Roger Stone Angrily Denies Hacking Jeff Bezos's Phone To Stunned Arby's Cashier

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Confirms God Colluded With Russia To Elect Trump

Cory Booker Jumps Into The Pool

President Whine-Baby Climbs Into Maggie Haberman's Arms, Cries It Out

Roger Stone Gets Indictment He Always Wanted, Is Not A Crook

Dumb People Talk About Liz Warren's Wealth Tax

Something's Coming. Wonkagenda For Fri., Feb. 01, 2019

Hey Robert Mueller, Adam Schiff Has A Sexxxy Present For You!

Donald Trump Decides Heidi Cruz Too Ugly To Be World Bank President

Maria Butina's Gross Old Boyfriend Is Too Dumb For Spying

Wonkette Answers Lindsey Graham's Dumbass Questions, 'Cause Lindsey Graham Is A Dumbass

Bernie Sanders Trying To ROB THE DEAD!

Russia Fool America Once ... Can't Get Fooled Again!

Lindsey Graham A 'Rich White Lives Matter' Activist Now

Republicans Sure Hate It When People Can Vote. Wonder Why?

Indiana GOP Lawmaker Can't Wait To Make Child Labor Great Again

Will Someone Please Explain To Anti-Choice Idiots That Nobody's Killing Born Babies?

Steven Mnuchin DID NOT Yacht-Party With Oligarchs And 'Accidentally' Lift All Their Sanctions, YOU SHUT UP

Robert Mueller Just Asking If Russian Troll Farm Lawyer Has A Hotline To The Kremlin

Can This Candidacy *Not* Be Saved? Howard Schultz Death Watch 2019

Run For The Border. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan 31, 2019

Study: Trump Country Full Of School-Bullying Jerk Dicks!

Stupidest Man On Internet: The Sun Stops Working When It's Cold

Trump And Scott Walker's Foxconn Factory Deal Goes POOF!

MAGA Assaults Jussie Smollett Just Like The KKK Would Because They Are The KKK Now

10 Out Of 10 Trump Intel Chiefs Agree Trump Is Utterly Full Of Sh*t

Civil Forfeiture: South Carolina Not *Quite* Done Stealing From Black People

KY Gov Matt Bevin Thinks Kids Are 'Soft' For Not Freezing To Death

House GOP SO MAD Dems Won't Look To Future: Repealing Obamacare!

Billionaires: Oh Liz Warren, Don't Eat Us!

Stacey Abrams Giving Democratic SOTU Response, So It Won't Suck So Much This Time

Can We Call Trump A Literal Actual Russian Agent Now? What About Now? What About Now? What About ...

Chuck Todd: Dems, Stop Sh*tting Yourselves!

Baby It's COLD Outside! Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan. 30, 2019

The Top 432,698 Reasons Acting AG Meatball Is Full Of Sh*t About The Mueller Probe Being Almost Over

LET'S HAVE A (PROXY) WAR!

Kamala Harris Answers All Your Burning Questions. Even The Dumb Ones.

Texas Brown People Registered To Vote Again

Lisa Murkowski Being Not A Dick Again

Everyone Hates Ex-Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz Now & It's Wonderful!

Richard Blumenthal Casually Mentions Donald Trump Jr.'s Going To Jail, Maybe

Brokaw Palace

Border Patrol Spent $60 Million On 33 New Officers, Is That A Lot?

Getting Hot In Herre! Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 29, 2019

Milo Yiannapoulos Loves Jesus, Hates Mammon, Is Stealing Gospel Songs Now

Is Devin Nunes F*cking One Last Cow To Protect Trump? MOOOOOOO-ybe!

Medicine That Prevents HIV Is $1600 A Month. It Doesn't Have To Be.

Howard Schultz, NOT HELPING

Stephen Miller Is Really F*cked Up. No, We Mean REALLY F*CKED UP.

Shutdown Cost US Economy $11 Billion. Maybe Mexico Will Pay For That Too!

President Gross-Mouth Gonna Tell You Some Racist Bullshit About Barack Obama, Surprise!

Trump Thinks He Has Less Than 50-50 Shot Of Getting WALL, Which Is Very Cute Way Of Saying 'ZERO'

Joe Arpaio Lost Track Of 50 Automatic Weapons, So Fast, So Furious!

Kamala Harris Delivers Knockout Speech In Oaktown, Is Now Basically President

Jared Kushner: THIS IS YOUR LIFE

2020 Begins! Wonkagenda For Mon., Jan. 28, 2019

Why Yes, We CAN Have Nice Things!

Trump Hosted A Happy Hour With Ginni Thomas' Conspiracy Kook Funtime Gang

Some Creep Set The Pizzagate Restaurant On Fire, Because That's Still A Thing.

Florida Secretary Of State Quits Just For A Tiny Bit Of Katrina Victim Cosplay

Elizabeth Warren's Eat-The-Rich Tax Proposal Has Usual Suspects Whining. GOOD.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Taking Bets On How Long It Takes Roger Stone To Flip On Trump

Let Us Bask In The Tears Of Heartbroken Trumpists!

CAVE, LOSER, CAVE! A Liveblog Of That Loser Caving

IRS, Air Traffic Fuxxored By Shutdown As President Sits On Thumb

Jared Kushner's Top-Secret Clearance Very Legal, Very Cool! Said Not FBI Or CIA

InfoWars Saw Goody Beto Busting Out Of His Sexxxy Devil Sheep Costume

What's Shakin', Mitch McConnell? Does Your Life SPARK JOY?

Kellyanne Conway Is Two-Faced Hell Person, So That Is Some Breaking News

Trump: What Are 'Groceries'? What Is 'Store'?

And Robert Mueller Said GET ME ROGER STONE

Colorado Sen. Bennet Now President Of Punching Ted Cruz In The Face Daily

'Ratf*cker' Is F******cked! Wonkagenda For Fri., Jan. 25, 2019

Elizabeth Warren Proposes New 'Eat The Rich' Tax

GENERAL STRIKE! GENERAL STRIKE! GENERAL STRIKE!

Kamala Harris Visits Rachel Maddow, Is President Of You Now

Rudy Giuliani: Why Can't We Threaten Michael Cohen's Father-In-Law, Is This America Or What?

WaPo 'Fact Checks' Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on Living Wage, Eats It

That Time Masterchef Mark Zuckerberg Used A 'Laser Gun' To Kill A Goat For @Jack

Commerce Sec. Wilbur Ross On Shutdown: 'Let Them Eat Loans'

MSNBC Interviews Four Trump-Russia Jackholes And Sam Nunberg Is THE SANE ONE

Trump Caves, Will Give State Of Union After Shutdown Ends, Like Maybe Jan. 21, 2021

No End In Sight. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 24, 2019

Michael Cohen's So Excited! He's So Excited! He's So ... SCARED!

Pelosi To Trump: Get F*cked, Orange Loser

Wonkette Welcomes Pete Buttigieg To 2020 Cabinet Members' Primary!

Elijah Cummings COMING For President Secret Agent Man

Guess Americans Don't Like Russian Agent Presidents Who Shut Down Government Forever. WHO KNEW!

Shutdown To Last Until Planes Crash Or Uninspected Meat Kills Us All. No Big.

MAGA Brats Defend Blackface, So That's Where The US Is Today

White House Comms Shop Barren Wasteland, Like President's Brain

Meow Hiss Claws Out For Rudy Giuliani!

Mitch McConnell, Cave Man

Lara Trump To Furloughed Workers: Drop Dead

Federal STRIKE. Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan. 23, 2019

Come, Lean In, We Want To Whisper You A Secret, It Is $$$!!1!

Nastya Rybka Is Free! Sort Of! Wait, Y'all Remember Who The F*ck Nastya Rybka Is?

Chris Cuomo, STFU!

Invisible Hand Of Free Market Fails To Get Charlie Kirk A Bed At Cedars-Sinai At Pace He Desires

Rudy Giuliani Settles The Debate. Moron. The Answer Is Moron.

Trump Admin's Sloppy Wet Sanctions Kiss For Oleg Deripaska Sloppier, Wetter Than We Knew!

Will Someone Please Think Of The MAGA Brats? Oh, Half The Country? Cool.

US Convicts Radical Water-Givers In 2017 Immigrant Not-Killing Spree

Jesse Kelly Tweets 'My Nerd Kid Sux, Amirite?' Is Best Dad Because Libs Now Owned.

Mike Pompeo Hopes To Kill State Dept In Time To C*ckblock Kris Kobach In Kansas

Kamala Harris Denied Key Asshole Endorsement From Bill O'Reilly

'No Cave!' Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 22, 2019

A 2020 Democratic Primary Primer, For Kids!

NRA: On This MLK Day, Won't You Please Remember The Guns?

Arizona GOP Lady Will Build The Wall ... WITH JIZZ!

Trump Is Losing The Walmart Vote, Isn't That A Shame

AOC Takes Aaron Sorkin's Advice, Shoves It

Kirstjen Nielsen Lied To Congress About Family Separation? LOCK HER UP!

MAGA KIDS INNOCENT! Or Hadn't You Heard They're White?

You're Not Gonna Believe It, But Michael Cohen Rigging ONLINE POLLS For Trump Gets Stupider

Donald Trump Knows WALL Always Works, Just Like At Alamo!

So You Want To Invoke Republican Martin Luther King Jr.

Kamala Harris Is Running!

Giuliani: Of Course Trump Negotiated With The Russians Up 'Til The Election. WHY EVER NOT?

Mike Pence's Stupid Bigot Mouth Suggests Dr. King's Dream Was WALL

'We Shall Override.' Wonkagenda For Mon., Jan. 21, 2019

Forget Trump. Let's Have Some NICE THINGS.

Look Out Chuck 'N' Nancy, President WALL Made A SPEECH

Laura Loomer Storming The Stage At The Women's March Almost As Cringey As The Time She Threw Herself At A Nazi

Killer Chicago Cop's Sentence Shows Black Lives Matter As Much As A Hot Dog With Ketchup

This Is The Future Republicans Want: MAGA Brats Mock Native American Drummer, Just To Be Assholes.

Your Weekly Top Ten Has Updated Its Signature LEWK For 2019

Relax, Everyone: Donald Trump Is Still A F*cking Criminal

Trump Idiots 'Debunk' Michael Cohen Story By Shrieking HAW HAW BUZZFEED SUX!

Trump: Me, Impeached? LOOK, A TERRORIST PRAYER RUG!

Anti-Choicers, Ben Shapiro March For Their Own Stunning Lack Of Self-Awareness

Trump AG Nominee Bill Barr Should Have Kept His Big Mouth Shut About Obstruction Of Justice

Cardi B: Obamacare Helped Get Your P*ssy Checked!

Missouri Rep. Demands California Rep. 'Go Back To Puerto Rico,' Where He Is Not From

Nancy Pelosi Was Going To Go To Afghanistan Anyway, But Trump F*cked That Up Too

Mike Huckabee Brings The Sex

Impotent Mosquitos Could Help End Malaria, Insert Bob Dole Viagra Joke My God We're So Old

Trump Told Michael Cohen To Lie To Congress. Is That Bad?

THOUSANDS More Kids Were Taken From Parents Than U.S. Admitted. So, Um, Good Job?

'Make It Happen.' Wonkagenda For Fri., Jan. 18, 2019

Trump To Pelosi: I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT IF I STEP ON MY OWN DICK AND EAT IT AT THE SAME TIME?

Wingnuts Spend Day Thinking About Lindsey Graham Naked, Blame Muslim Congresslady

So Are We Just Gonna Let Bustle CEO Bryan Goldberg Ruin The Internet?

Trump Grappling With Painful Realization That Nancy Pelosi Is His Real Dad

Meet Pam! Pam Is A Competent Trump Official Who ... Oh Wait She Just Quit, GOODBYE PAM!

Prissy Jerk Kevin McCarthy Thinks Badass Pelosi Is Behaving In A Frightfully 'Unbecoming' Manner

Sexy Michael Cohen Stiffs Online Ratf*cker

RUDY GIULIANI NEVER SAID NO COLLUSION, YOU SAID NO COLLUSION, YOU STINKIN' LIAR!

Guess Which Grifty Assholes Are Joining That Grifty 'GoFundMe' Wall Guy?

OK, MAYBE There Was Collusion. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 17, 2019

Wait, Is Putin Getting Paid During The Trump Shutdown? THE F*CK?

Trump's Tax Cuts For Rich F*ckwads Cost Half A Trillion Bucks More Than We Knew, Oops!

GOP Senators Grow Spine Over Russian Sanctions, Just Kidding NOPE

Hey, Anybody Using This NATO? Mind If Trump Tidies It Up?

What Time Is The State Of The Union? Never, Because Nancy Pelosi Just Canceled Trump

Who Wants To Play Guess The Mueller Manafort Redactions?

Everyone Ran For President Last Night. OK, Just Kirsten Gillibrand.

William Barr Confirmation Hearing Wrap-Up: At Least He's Better Than The Dumbf*ck We Have Right Now!

VP's Wife Karen Pence Set To Teach The Art Of Bashing Queers

Black Farmers Not Interested In Serving In Trump's Trade War

Game Of 'You're Boned.' Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan. 16, 2019

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Does Twitter Real Good Again, So That's A Surprise!

An Open Letter To Men Irreparably Traumatized By The Recent Gillette Ad

Whoops, Acting AG Whitaker May Have Committed Some NO COLLUSION With Trump!

Donald Trump Just Sellin' Millions In Real Estate To ... Untraceable LLCs? Cool Cool!

Jared Kushner Is A Cheap Thug And Other Surprises From Chris Christie's 'Let Me Finish'

Trump Inauguration Facing One Or Twelve Tiny Investigations, NBD

Mick Mulvaney Took An Old Man's Money For 'Land Deal' Too? Just The One?

GOP Doing Something About Nazi Rep. Steve King? That Can't Be Right!

California Utility PG & E On Road To Nowhere After Burning Down The House

Liveblogging Confirmation Hearings For Bill Barr, Trump's Next Future Ex-Attorney General!

'I Served Them Massive Amounts Of Fast Food.' Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 15, 2019

Confirmation Hearings For William Barr, Trump's New Meatball Idiot AG Nominee, Begin TOMORROW!

Dumb Elizabeth Warren Wants To Drain DC Swamp And Turn It Into A State, How Dumb Is That (It's Not)

Majority Of Americans Supports Trump Building Wall UP HIS ASS

Canada Showing Off Again, 'We Give Saudi Girls Asylum' Edition

President Trump Will Get His WALL If He Has To Break Every Bone In Mick Mulvaney's Body

Ted Cruz Filibusters On Chuck Todd's Face

Shutdown, Breakdown, Takedown: They're Busted!

Trump Hiding His Love Notes From Putin, Because That Is FINE And NORMAL

Donald Trump Tweeting Crazy Sh*t Again

New Dems Will Tell Trump To Shove His Racist Wall Up His Ass Just Like Their Boss Pelosi

Trump Might Literally Be Working For The Russians. Here's How #TeamTreason Will Pretend That's Totally Fine

'I Couldn't Care Less.' Wonkagenda For Mon. Jan., 14, 2019

Trump Spends Saturday Night With Judge Jeanine Screeching 'NO COLLUSION!' At Your Nana

We Got Yer Internet Nice Things Right Here, Buddy

In What Freaking World Is Swearing More Controversial Than Embracing White Supremacy?

Tulsi Gabbard And Julian Castro Are RUNNING!

Gavin Newsom Proclaims California Socialist Paradise!

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Ready To Watch Our Dems Kick Some Ass

FBI Been Wonderin' If Trump Is Literal Russian Intelligence Asset For LONG ASS TIME

The Top 10 NATIONAL EMERGIES The Next Democratic Prez Will Definitely Declare If Trump Does It For WALL

Politico Now On Full-Time 'Lady Politicians Getting Too Big For Their Britches' Watch

Nancy Pelosi Gonna Break Her Heel Off In Steven Mnuchin's Botoxed Ass

Mitch McConnell: Shutdown Hero

GOP Almost Possibly Thinking About Being Concerned By Steve King Saying Nazi Talk

Tucker Carlson: Can A Rich White Boy Even Get A Handout These Days?

Robert Mueller Just Curious What All These Damn Ukrainians Doing At Trump Inauguration

Maybe When Trump Said Mexico Would Pay For WALL He Meant Like How Trump 'Pays' Contractors

Michael Cohen Is Ready For His Close-Up

Do Not Ask For Whom The Buck Stops, It Sure As Hell Doesn't Stop With Trump

He Never Said 'Mexico.' Wonkagenda For Fri., Jan. 11, 2019

President Good Brain At The Border Having Wall-Gasms About Wheels Again

Connecticut Governor Inspires White Dads Everywhere To DANCE!

Shutdown Bad For Food Safety, Small Business, Airlines, FBI, Even Beer. For The Love Of God! BEER!

Tick Tock Motherf*ckers!

At Least President Bugf*ck Isn't Saying NO COLLUSION Anymore, Just Kidding Yes He Is

Steve King, US Congressman, Wants To Know When Nazi Became A Bad Word

How Many Gay People, Exactly, Would 'Christian' Lawyer Mat Staver Like To Lynch?

Rick Scott Is Pissing Off All The Florida Republicans By Being A Petty Dick And It Is Glorious

GOP's Latest Fun Trick: Overturn The Will Of The People, To Own The Libs!

Today's Congressional Badass: Lauren Underwood, Who Repealed And Replaced Illinois GOP Rep. Randy Hultgren

Donald Trump Has Dainty Rage-Gasm, Politely Removes Self From Chuck 'N' Nancy's Presence

'NO SLAMMING.' Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 10, 2019

A Quick Explainer On The New York Times's Paul Manafort F*ckup, Because It Seems Important

Gabby Giffords Was Shot Eight Years Ago. Yesterday, She Helped Introduce A Dem Gun Bill.

Chuck 'N' Nancy Grounded America For Two Weeks And They STILL Beat Loser Trump In The Ratings

Rod Rosenstein Taking His Ball And Going Home, Best Of Luck With Your Democracy And Rule Of Law!

New California Gov. Gavin Newsom Handles Two Tired, Cranky Babies

A 70% Marginal Tax Rate On The Rich? YES PLEASE, AOC.

IS THIS COLLUSION? BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE F*CKING COLLUSION

Badass Rep. Ayanna Pressley Murders Trump On House Floor, Secret Service Notified

Look Out Rudy, There's A New Crazy Lawyer In Town

President Grandpa's Big Prime-Time 'Mexicans Are Killers And Rapists' Speech

'I'm Still Doing It.' Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan. 9, 2019

Not-Watch Trump's 'Emergency' Border Crisis Announcement, With Your Wonkette!

Paul Manafort's Lawyers Make Redacted Words Invisible Like F-35 Plane

It's Russia Indictment O'Clock Again, Trump Tower Lady Lawyer Edition!

Cyntoia Brown To Be Freed After Only 15 Years

VP Pence Says Ex-Presidents Talking To Trump Through The TV

Fraudy NC Election Pastor Man Sets Land-Speed Record Out Fire Door

What Does Leonardo Da Vinci Have To Do With Trump And Russia? A HOLY SH*T Investigation Into WHAT THE F*CK!

Republicans Warn Beto Has A Nickname Like A Communist & Will Kill Us All

Sorry, Sovereign Citizens, The Government Won't Buy You A Bitchin' Camaro

Young Grifter Would Like $200,000 For His Trump Social Media Site Everyone Already Forgot About

How To Write Badly About The Shutdown And Prison, By A Doctor Of Rhetoric

President Sh*tmouth. Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 8, 2019

10 Things Better To Watch Than Trump's Stupid Damn Racist Oval Office Address

Trump Not Pulling Out Of Syria Because When Does He Ever Pull Out?

Our Advice For Russian Troll Farm Company Is To Start Drinking Heavily

Did You Lie To Congress About Trump-Russia Stuff? Adam Schiff And Robert Mueller COMING FOR YOUR ASS.

Trump Can 'Relate' To Being Deadass Broke Like You Poor Slobs

Oh Great, Democrats Want To Let Americans Vote. What's Next, SOCIALIST TRANSGENDER ARUGULA?

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Nickname Scandal Will Never Stop Never Stopping!

Whose Balls Smell Like Cat Pee? Certainly Not Julian Assange's Balls!

Your Sunday Rundown Starring Journalism Heroes Chris Wallace And Chuck Todd!

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Shockingly Claims Trump Is A Racist Based On Racist Things He's Said & Done His Entire Life

Trump Sits On A WALL OF LIES!

Be The Terror You Want To See In The World! Wonkagenda For Mon., Jan. 7, 2019

A Sunday Compendium Of Things That Don't Suck

Gavin McInnes Thinks His Neighbors Are Stupid.

Trump Prepares To Unleash Emergency Batsh*t Powers

How Sad! NRA Dudes Think There Is A World Where AOC Would Date Them.

For Some Dumb Reason Ellen Let A Homophobe Come On Her Show & Beg To Host The Gay Super Bowl

Your Weekly Top Ten Had A Really Exhausting 2019 This Past Week

Cussy Congresswoman Badass Making Chris Cillizza Cry :(

This ONE WEIRD TRICK Could End Government Shutdowns For Good

Trump Boys TREMENDOUS Failures In Hotel Biz, If You Can Believe That

We Knew Trump Was Probably A Russian Intelligence Asset, But HOLY F*CK

Bohemian Tucker Carlson So Sad You Feminazis Murdered All The Art

GOP Senators Show Trump Who's Boss On Shutdown, Just Kidding It's Susan Collins

New Congresswomen Dancing, Yelling And Cussing, Are Probably Witches

Jim Hoft Stomps On Own Dick So Hard Even His Commenters Are Confused

Trump And Band Of Thumbheads Had One Mission: GET THE ATTENTION OFF THAT INFERNAL PELOSI

China Lands On Dark Side Of The Moon, Finds No One Waiting

ONE DOLLAR, BOB! Wonkagenda For Fri., Jan. 4, 2019

Who's Doing Good New Laws? Is It Dems? Is It DEMS? Yes It IS!

No No, The Trade War Is Awesome It'll All Be Fine!

Tucker Carlson Wishes Women Would Stop Destroying America By Having Jobs

Why Are We All Yelling About 'Pay-Go?'

Let's Liveblog Nancy Pelosi Taking Back That Gavel And Immediately Beating The Sh*t Out Of Everybody With It!

Wingnuts Make Very Own 'Onion' Knockoff, For Jesus!

Is Rand Paul A Russian Agent, Or Is That Just His Face?

BREAKING: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez *Isn't Who She Claims To Be*

Yeah, Mexico Will Pay For It. ANY MINUTE NOW.

YOU GET NOTHING! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 3, 2019

President Bugf*ck's New Year's Resolution Clearly 'Be More Bugf*ck'

MIT Developing Shrink-Ray. Steve Martin To Sue.

Harry Reid To Kick Trump In Balls One More Time Before He Goes

Film Bro Wishes Obama Were POTUS From The Movie In His Own Mind

Mitt Romney Shall Maketh Grrr Sounds At The Villein!

Jerry Falwell Jr. Bad At Jesus Again

'Likability' Is Socially Manipulative Middle School Bullsh*t And Everyone Should Shut Up About It Forever

Surprise! Donald Trump Already Built WALL, *And* Mexico Paid For It!

Politico Announces Presale Tix For 'Who Would Vote For The Unf*ckable Harpy 2' Tour

Louis C.K. Exposes Himself As Unfunny Racist Jerk-Off Creep

Trump Built A Wall. Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan. 2, 2019

Meet Your 2018 Legislative Badasses Of The Year: Kamala Harris And Pramila Jayapal!

Your 2018 Legislative Shitmuffin Of The Whole Entire Year Is ... JIM JORDAN!

The Top Ten Numbers Between 10 and 1 To Use When Counting Down To Midnight

The Year In Garbage Men. In So Many, Many Garbage Men.

2018: The Year The Children Did Lead Us

2018: The Year Of The Personal Racism Concierges