Sitemap - 2018 - Wonkette

Congratulations on YOUR BLUE WAVE, 2018!

2019 New Year's Resolution: No. More. Babies. In Cages.

2018 In Your Junior King Of You

Our Friend The Carbon Molecule!

2018's Top Ten Science Stories Of Science That You F*cking Love!

2018: The Year In Robert Mueller's Witch Hunt Finding SO MANY GUILTY-ASS WITCHES

Wonkette's Yearly Top Ten List Only Happens Once A Year! (That's Why It's Called That, Duh)

We'll See You At Noon!

Some D-Bags Tried To Body Shame Connie Schultz. It Did Not Work.

Ann "Black Liberationist" Coulter KNOWS The FBI Invented Kwanzaa, So White Liberals Can Suck It

Asshole President Tries To Blame Deaths Of Children On Dems Not Wanting His Stupid Wall.

Oh, Here She Comes! Watch Out, Trump, Pelosi Will Chew You Up!

Trump EPA Gives America Belated Christmas Present: More Poison!

North Carolina's Vote F*ckery Ends Poorly (For The Republicans Who Did It).

Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Wishes You A Merry Little New Year!

Who The Hell Is Sending Naked Selfies To Putin?

National Review Writer Worried Anti-Stalking Laws Will Murder All The Romance

If Democrats Won't Give Trump WALL, He's Gonna Burn Iowa TO THE GROUND!

Alan Dershowitz Was America's Least Favorite Party Guest In 2018

Are You A Federal Worker Low On Cash During Shutdown? The Trump Admin Is Here To 'Help'

HOLY GRIFT! Send This Fox Creep Money For ... Literally No Reason At All

The Sh*tshow Must Go On! Wonkagenda For Fri, Dec. 28, 2018

Show Me On The Doll Where Meatball Hurt You: Letters To Matt Whitaker's Former Scammy Fraudy Patent Company!

'Deportation Bus' Guy Deports Himself Straight To Jail

Kirstjen Nielsen Puts The 'Evil Heartless Asshole' In 'Christmas'

Rudy Giuliani Will Do LOCK HER UPS To Robert Mueller. You Bet!

It Was Michael Cohen, In Prague, With The Cell Phone HE WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE AT HOME, JESUS CHRIST

Trump Second Best At Being Most Admired (Again)

Meatball Gets Caught Telling Another Whopper

Trump Visits Troops In Iraq Who Did Nothing To Deserve It

'There Was Concern.' Wonkagenda For Thurs., Dec. 27, 2018

Twitter Gun Lady Shoots Up Innocent Wood Board For Wishing Her 'Happy Holidays'

Fetch Us Our Smelling Salts! Trump's Bone Spurs Might Not Have Been Real!!!1!

Trump Loses War On Santa

No Room At The Inn

You Won't Believe This North Carolina Felon's One Weird Trick For Ratf*cking Elections!

'Still A Believer In Santa?' Wonkagenda For Wed., Dec. 26, 2018

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Too Busy For Cancer, Already Back At Work, F*CKIN' TOLD Y'ALL SO

Trump & Melanie Are Home Alone Together For Christmas

Dennis Prager Is Here To Do Some Last Minute War On Christmasing

A Sunday Rundown. In Wonkette. Being A Ghost Story Of Christmas

Mick Mulvaney Defends Trump's Syria Pull-Out: It's Popular With Idiots!

Dammit, It's Still Obstruction Even If It Happens In Plain Sight!

Naughty Or Nice? Wonkagenda For Mon., Dec. 24, 2018

James Mattis Hurt Our Delicate President's Feelings, Gets Pushed Out Two Months Early.

Breitbart Will Be Ready With The Dunking Chairs When The Witches Take Over America.

Meghan McCain Would Like Katrina Pierson To Be Less Stupid, Please

Trump Cancels Christmas For Federal Employees

Immortal Goddess Ruth Bader Ginsburg Ruins Trump's Day From Her Hospital Bed.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Ready For Santa To Bring Us Booze, Probably

Let's All RELAX, DAMMIT, And Send Our Love To Ruth Bader Ginsburg, May She Live Forever

Forget Trump's Stupid Wall. The New Cruelty Is Up To Something Far Worse

It's All Fun And Games Until 'Fox & Friends' Says Trump Invented ISIS

Trump's Christmas Gift: A Nice Kick In The Teeth For The Poor

Trump A.G. Pick William Barr: Obstructing Justice Just Part Of President's Job, Man

Acting AG Meatball Whitaker Signs Own Permission Slip

Mattis's Resignation Letter To Trump Less Of A 'Thank You,' More Of A 'F*ck You'

All 100 Senators Agree That Black Lives Should Matter A Little

Shutdown Shitshow Season Finale. Wonkagenda For Fri., Dec. 21, 2018

Does The Treasury Department Have A Teensy Russian Spy Problem? We Are Just Asking!

Paul Ryan Shutting Down Government For Christmas, Old Times' Sake, And Sad Lack Of Balls

The Right Ramps Up The War On Store Clerks

Trump Unsanctioning Manafort's Russian Sugar Daddy Is EVEN F*CKEDER Than You Thought!

Yeah, About Trump's Campaign Finance Noob Defense ...

Laura Ingraham 'Hanging Up Headphones,' Doing Podcast Instead, Bye!

It's A Christmas Miracle! Trumpers Are GoFundMeing His Stupid WALL!

STOP HITTING YOURSELF DEMS.

Judge Who Was Mean To Michael Flynn Also Won't Let Trump Be Fascist Dickhead. Unfair!

OK For Real, What The HELL Is Trump Thinking With His Syria Pull-Out?

'So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish.' Wonkagenda For Thurs., Dec 20, 2018

Elijah Cummings's New Holiday Classic: '51 Ways I'm About To Kick Trump's Ass'

Texas Will Fire You If You Don't Promise To Buy An Israeli SodaStream, We Guess

Trump 'Safety' Commission: Prevent School Shootings By Expelling More Black Kids!

Yellow Vest Movement Not Going Away No Matter How Much Tear Gas Macron Throws At Them

Tucker Carlson And Fox News Lesbian Know Who Has A Penis, And It's COOKIES!

It's Your Tornillo, Texas, Kinder-Kamp Update!

Rudy Giuliani Made Another Ooopsie About Trump Tower Moscow

Advertisers Start To Notice They Were Advertising On Tucker Carlson

What's That Robert Mueller Secret Grand Jury Subpoena Fight About? Let's Wildly Speculate, Together!

Gowdy, Comey Share One Last Dance In The Flickering Light Of The Dumpster Fire

Maybe Mexico Won't Pay For It? Wonkagenda For Wed., Dec. 19, 2018

President Art Of The Deal Gets His Precious Mexican Border Wall, Just Kidding Nope

White House Forgot To Hire Babysitter For Trump's Christmas Vacation, Oh Sh*t!

Trump Foundation Dissolved Like It Was Dipped In Hot Tub Of Acid

Elizabeth Warren Wants To Do Socialism To Drugs, And We LOVE It!

Hilarious Judge 'Bout To Give Michael Flynn The Death Penalty, Just For Fun!

Paul Ryan's Drunk History Of Paul Ryan, The Bravest Smartest Wonk In The Whole Wide World

Everyone In Trumpland Lied About Russia Sanctions. HUH, HOW WEIRD!

JAMES COMEY MAD, BRO

Sinclair To Reporter: There's No 'I'm Undergoing Cancer Treatment' In 'Team'

Senate Report Shows Russia Wanted Black People To Vote About As Much As Republicans Do

Shut Up, Old Man! Wonkagenda For Tues., Dec. 18, 2018

There's RATS Outside The White House, Blanche

Susan Collins Just Lying And Playing Dumb On TV, Like She Does

MEMES! The Russians Hacked Us With F*cking MEMES!

Who's Getting Indicted Today? Oh, Just All Michael Flynn's Friends

The Top 25,467 Open Investigations Into Ryan Zinke, Can't Imagine Why He Just Up And Quit

Stephen Miller Puts New Coat Of Paint (HAIR PAINT) On His Sh*tty Racist Ideas

Paul Ryan Loves Mexicans! Just As Long As They're From Ireland

Good Morning, President Grandpa! What's Upsetting You Today?

Meet SAM: The Safe Space For Trump-Hating Republicans, At Least Until Trump's Out Of Office

Superlawyer Rudy Giuliani Is Ready To Confess. Again.

Christmas At Ground Zero. Wonkagenda For Mon., Dec. 17, 2018

Crybaby President Can't Handle Saturday Night Live Making Jokes About Him.

Tucker Carlson's Latest White Supremacist Whoopsie Has Cost Him An Advertiser.

Pro-Life Party Shrugs Off Death Of 7-Year-Old Girl

Conservative Texas Judge Thinks He Can Murder Obamacare All By Himself.

Diamond And Silk Can See Mexico From Their House

Your Weekly Top Ten's Wonderdog Messed Up Her Face, But Don't Worry It Got Better

Chris Christie Nopes Out Of Chief Of Staff Job, Has 15% Popularity Rating To Uphold

Robert Mueller Responds To Michael Flynn's Whining: 'Hahahahahahahaha F*ck You'

Court Rules Betsy DeVos Must Stop Being Asshole

Trump Inauguration Invited To Trump Criminal Investigation Party, WOOHOO!

Looks Like NC Republican Mark Harris Hired That Fraudster Dude FOR The Ratf*cking, Not In Spite Of It

Trump Will Build A Wall ... And This GOP Idiot Is Going To GoFundMe It! With Bitcoin!

What's Jared Kushner Doing All Up In Trump's Porn Star Pecker Payoffs? Funny You Should Ask!

ENTIRE SENATE TELLS DONALD TRUMP TO GO EAT A F*CK

God Damn (Trump's) America

Racist Columbia University Dipwad Not Racist, According To Racist Columbia University Dipwad

'Crime Of Interpretation.' Wonkagenda For Dec. 14, 2018

Is Donald Trump A DrugSnorts McNoseFace? It Would Be Irresponsible Not To Speculate!

Kentucky Gov. Matt Bevin Has Sh*tfit Over 'Soros-Funded' ProPublica. Hilarity Ensues!

Russian Witch Hunt Catches Russian Witch

Stupid Stoneman Douglas Panel Has Stupid Idea: What If We Armed Teachers?

Judy Riuliani Is Not As Think As You Drunk He Is (Allegedly! BURRRRRRP!)

Trump's Gonna Build A Wall And Vietnam's Gonna Pay For It! Wait What?

Wake Up, President Grandpa, It's Snowing Indictments!

Inveterate Liar Sarah Huckabee Sanders Hopes Y'all Will Remember How 'Honest' She Was

Trump Pretty Sure Supreme Court Will Let Him Screw Asylum-Seekers, You'll See

Criminal Joe Arpaio Very Upset Everybody Calling Him Wrong Kind Of Criminal. $300 Million, Please!

Nancy Pelosi Will Quit Being Speaker Soon As The Rest Of Y'all Dead

'Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal!' Wonkagenda For Thurs., Dec. 13, 2018

A Few Gentle Remarks About The Gay Quisling Federalist Idiot Whining About How Persecuted He Is

GOP Reluctantly Cancels Expert Witness Who Once Supported A Buttsex Tax

Steve King So Mad Google Told His Granddaughter He's A Nazi. He Wanted To Tell Her Himself! (Allegedly!)

Michael Cohen Released From Brain Jail, Gets To Go To Regular Jail Now

Your North Carolina Election Ratf*cking Update, Part Gazillion

Politico Should Run On A Unity Ticket With SHUT THE F*CK UP, POLITICO

Idaho Wingnut Knows True Meaning Of Christmas Is Suing Your Neighbors' Asses For Hating Baby Jesus

Doesn't The Federalist Get Tired Of Being Gross And Wrong So Much?

Michael Flynn Would Like A Cookie And A Pat On The Head, Your Honor

Totally Non-Evil ICE Arrests 170 Immigrants Trying To Save Babies From Baby Jails

President Skunk Tinkles Had Hisself A Temper Tantrum After Chuck 'N' Nancy Left!

'A Free Vacation For Bureaucrats.' Wonkagenda For Dec. 12, 2018

Can Somebody Hold Nancy Pelosi's Beer While She Dick-Punches Trump Some More?

How Many Years Is The Nazi Who Murdered Heather Heyer Going To Prison For? ALL OF THE YEARS.

Count ALL The Votes? Why Would Florida Do Something Like That?

OMG WTF JUST HAPPENED IN THE WHITE HOUSE

Guy In Charge Of GOP Elections Insists GOP Will Change Nothing, Twice As Hard

Russian Spy Chick Mariia Butina Pleading GUILTY, To Loving NRA TOO MUCH!

Trump So Mad At Nick Ayers He Might Not Even Eat 10 Big Macs Today

Orrin Hatch: What's A Little Felony When The President's Republican?

Dr. Jerome Corsi, Ph.D., Sues Robert Mueller For All The Money On Earth

Everybody Knows Trump Is Getting Indicted. Even Fox News.

GOP Wants You To Know They ALLLL Break Campaign Finance Laws

'I Am Not A Crook.' Wonkagenda For Tues., Dec. 11, 2018

If This Lady And Her 300-Year Old Ghost Pirate Husband Can't Make It, What Hope Do The Rest Of Us Have?

Lawsplainer: Does Trump's Lawyer Going To Jail Exonerate Trump?

Trump AG Nominee William Barr Told Trump To F*ck Off A Non-Zero Number Of Times!

Can This Idiot David Bossie Win Rose As Trump's Forever Chief Of Staff?

Mia Love: If Democrats Love Black People, Why Didn't They Just Let Me Win?

US Teams Up With Russia, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait To Defeat The Climate Once And For All!

Jared Kushner Won't Let A Little BONE SAW Ruin His Bromance With Mohammed Bin Salman!

Individual 1 Is Kindest, Bravest, Warmest, Most Wonderful Individual 1!

Ivanka Fires John Kelly, Who Will Be America's Next Top White House Babysitter?

How Long Will Tim Scott Have To Remind GOP To *Try* Not To Be Racist? Oh, Just Forever

James Comey Testifies At Trey Gowdy, Because 2016 WON'T F*CKING DIE

President Grandpa. Wonkagenda For Mon., Dec. 10, 2018

Gavin McInnes Out At Blaze TV After A Week, So Let's Look At Some Of Their Other Dumb Shows!

John Kelly Voted Off The Island.

Let's Laugh At The Sad Alt-Lite Convention That No One Showed Up To!

Murderous Nazi Going To Jail, Where He Belongs.

Who Could Stop Trump From Almost Doing Something Decent? Worst Person Alive Mitch McConnell, That's Who!

Your Weekly Top Ten, Boy I Don't Know

SDNY Will Put Michael Cohen TO DEATH! OK Not Really, But It's BAD (For Him)

HEY YOU GUYSSSSS

HOT TIPS​ For Men Too Scared To Work With Women In A #MeToo World!

Ammon Bundy Is Good Now

NC Republicans Boldly Do Absolutely Nothing About State's Real Election Fraud

Scott Pruitt Passes The Plate, Pockets The Cash

NEW Trump Attorney General Pick Is Big Dumb​ Meatball, Just Like The Last Idiot

Another Bomb Threat For CNN. Get Ready For The False Flag Two-Step!

Trump Picks Former Fox Friend Heather Nauert As Next Top UN Ambassador!

TFW Your Lawyer Says You're An Idiot, And Your Lawyer Is RUDY GIULIANI ...

Senate Still Seems Pretty Pissed About This Whole MOHAMMED BONE SAW Thing!

Gosh, If Only North Carolina GOP Had Known About Fraudy Mail-In Ballot Guy!

He Knows When You're Awake. Wonkagenda For Fri., Dec. 7, 2018

Undocumented Lady Who Wiped Trump's Make-Up Off His Granny Panties Will Probably Be Deported Soon, So ...

It's Not You, Julian Assange, It's ... Okay, Yeah, IT'S YOU.

R. Kelly Definitely DID NOT Call In Fake Death Threats To Film Screening About R. Kelly's Sex Crimes. NOPE.

Is VP Mike Pence The White House Walking Dead?

Remember Weird-Ass Russian Spy Maria Butina And Her Old-Ass American Boy Toy? Here's What's Up With Them!

Trumper Told VA Diversity Head To Think Nicer Thoughts About Nazis

'Are You The Veterans That Are Getting Bribed' By The Saudis, At The Trump Hotel?

What's Behind All Michael Flynn's Dumb REDACTED Black Ink? Here's A Turkey Of An Idea!

North Carolina 9th: The Election Fraud F*ckery Is Growing Exponentially

Flint's Water Better! Sort Of! WAIT NO DON'T *DRINK* IT!

Dense Pence. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Dec. 6, 2018

Rudy Giuliani Knows How To Cyber

In Michigan And Wisconsin, GOP Lame Ducks Armed And Dangerous

Ross Douthat Oozing Stupid, Racist Thoughts About George H.W. Bush All Over NYT

Michigan GOP Lameduck Session: Keep The Tired And Poor Tired And Poor!

North Carolina Election-Fraud F*ckery Goes To Eleven. Teen. Thousand Million

Trump Ruins George H.W. Bush's Funeral, By Sitting Down At It

Meghan McCain Being A Very Rude Bitchface To Whoopi And Joy, Because She Is Rude

Lunatic: Scientology Knocked Up Hillary Clinton's Mom With The For-Real Whore Of Babylon, So ... Okay!

'Tariff Man' Trump Orders Markets To STOP CRASHING!

Robert Mueller Just Saying Michael Flynn Sold ALL Y'ALL F*CKERS OUT, OH MY LORD

Lady Dems Demand Job Rights For Nation's Wisecracking Maids, Nannies, Butlers

Republicans Keep On Cheatin', Cheatin' In MI, WI & NC

I Like Money. You Like Money Too? Wonkagenda For Wed., Dec. 5, 2018

Liz Cheney Knows What You Girls Want, And It Is MORE DICK!

GOP's Spine Suddenly Not Bone-Sawed In Half Over Khashoggi Murder

The Republicans Got Hacked? LOLOLOLOLOL

Trump's 'Deport Everyone' Policy Nabs Philadelphia-Born Citizen, But It's OK, He's Black

Oh Look! Another Dating App For The Basket Of Unf*ckables!

Alabama Police Shot E.J. Bradford In The Back Like They Were In A Gangster Movie

John Dingell Would Like To Make Just A Tiny Alteration, Hardly Anything To Speak Of Really

Trump-Russia Suspects To Bob Mueller: This Is A Citizen's Arrest! Or A Hallucination. Same Diff.

Let's Talk About The Trump Boys' Psychosexual Issues: A Christmas Nightmare!

Georgia Voting Today On Whether Or Not It Can Vote In Future

Democrats' First House Bill To Make America A Democracy Again

Seth Moulton Gonna Need Little Lady Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez To Stop Being SO DANG SEXIST

The GOP's War On Voters. Wonkagenda For Tues., Dec. 04, 2018

North Carolina Election F*ckery Just Got F*ckier

All The Reasons Mueller Has No Case Against Trump, According To People Who Are Bad At 'Reasons'

Milo Yiannopoulos Is Broke As Sh*t

Hey, Is This Obstruction Of Justice? How About THIS? And THESE? And That ...

DOJ, DHS Can't Decide Whether To Shoot Asylum Seekers Now, Or Later

France's 'Yellow Vest' Protests Like The Tea Party, But For Carbon Taxes And Really Violent

Rudy Giuliani Didn't Know About Party In His Honor That's Not Happening, Because He Wasn't Invited

Wisconsin And Michigan Leges Save Voters From Dumb Mistake Of Electing Democrats

James Comey Has A Hot Date To Get Slimed By House GOP

What If Trump Went To The G20 And Nobody Gave A Damn?

Ex-Florida Police Chief Finally Puts Guilty Person In Prison: Himself

Don't Cry For Him Argentina. Wonkagenda For Mon., Dec. 3, 2018

The Week In Garbage Men: MGTOWs Declare War On 'Cucked' Dr. Pepper.

And Now, A Confused U.S. President Wandering Off A Stage He Wasn't Supposed To Leave

Really, Neil DeGrasse Tyson?

Mike Pence Tweets And Deletes Pic With QMoron Cop -- WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!?

George HW Bush Died, So That Is... Well It Is News That Happened.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is TOPTENCEPTION!

Does Donald Trump Appeal To Men With Peener Insecurity? NYU Did Science To It!

Trump Can't Stop Fiddling With The Rockets In His Pocket

Jerome Corsi Has Handcuffs, Will Travel

Arizona Racist David Stringer Just Can't Stop With All The Crazy Racist Talk

Alaska House Control Down To Tied Race With Uncounted 'Mystery' Ballot (Marked For The Dem)

Thanks, Michael Cohen! NO, REALLY!

Laura Loomer ... Boy, I Don't Know

Black Republican Tim Scott Blocks Racist Judge, Isn't Asshole Just This Once

Mark Harris's 'Victory' In NC's 9th Too Shady *For North Carolina Republicans*

V.A. Will Definitely Maybe Reimburse Vets For Missed Benefits. LOOK, A ILLEGAL ALIEN!

It's Not A $50M Bribe To Putin ... It's A GIFT!

'Individual 1.' Wonkagenda For Fri., Nov. 30, 2018

The Top 5 Places Trump And Putin Are Going To Secretly Meet At The G20, Ranked By How Quiet They'll Have To Be

Michael Avenatti Has Some Splaining To Do!

Supreme Court Tells Cops To Quit Stealing So Much ... Err CONFISCATING So Much!

Super-Speaker Paul Ryan Says Soulful Goodbye To House, Just Kidding, He Sux

Sinclair Broadcasting: Our Insane 'Must-Run' Rants? Those Are *Someone Else's* Insane 'Must Run' Rants!

Stupidest Man On The Internet Knows Just How To Spin This Jeffrey Epstein Thing!

Michael Cohen Pleads 'Guilty As F*ck' Again, But This Time It's For MUELLER STUFF!

Jerome Corsi Determined To Throw Himself Under This Bus

Trump And Roger Stone Like 'YOU Hang Up!' 'No YOU Hang Up!' 'OK LET'S HANG UP SAME TIME!'

EPA Head Stumped By Question About 'Clean' 'Air'

New York Times JUST CAN'T STOP Sh*tting On Nancy Pelosi!

Hard Rain's Gonna Fall. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Nov. 29, 2018

Larry Klayman To Sue Robert Mueller For Jerome Corsi, So Wonkette Can Die Happy! :D

Here Are The First Two Lies Trump Told Robert Mueller

Paul Manafort Knows Neither When To Hold 'Em Nor When To Fold 'Em

US Senate: Is Making 'Moral Poison' Dude A Federal Judge A Bridge Too Farr?

Super Smart Proud Boys Accidentally Reveal Secret Identities To Literally Everyone.

Brett Kavanaugh Back To Boofing With Little Girls Or Whatever

Quit Yer Whining! Liberals Did Better In Mississippi Than You Think!

President Goodbrain Smarts Very Thinkfully About Climate Change, Science

Trump's Washington Post Interview Just As Dumbsh*t As All His Other Interviews

Jerome Corsi, It's Your Time In Bobby Mueller's Barrel!

Right! What's All This 'Green New Deal,' Then?​

Trump Don't Want No Short Short Fed Chairs

'Very High Levels of Intelligence.' Wonkagenda For Wed., Nov. 28, 2018

Why Would John Bolton Listen To Khashoggi Murder Tape? He Doesn't Even Bone Saw In Arabic!

Mean Judges Won't Let Trump Ratf*ck Census, UNFAIR!

Erick Erickson's Christmas Wish: Throw The Communists Out The Helicopters

Black Army Vet Wrongly Shot By Alabama Police Because Oh Who The Hell Knows Why Anymore?

Trump Kissing Putin's Ass On Ukraine, What A Shock, Wonder Why

It's 'Giving Tuesday,' So GIVE IT, You!

Paul Manafort Sets Fire To His Plea Deal

Let's Subpoena Julian Assange's Nasty-Ass Cat, See What It Knows About Paul Manafort

Diamond and Silk's New Show Will Embarrass America And That's The Point

Of Course Fake AG Matt Whitaker Ran A Daycare With NO TOYS

Gateway Pundit, Other Idiots: Tear-Gassed Babies Were CRISIS ACTOR GEORGE SOROS FALSE FLAG!

'I Looked Like Elvis.' Wonkagenda For Tues., Nov. 27, 2018

Seth Moulton's Flawless Victory Over Nancy Pelosi Is Flawless. Also Hilarious.

Fox News Just Paying White House Comms Director Directly, Cool Cool Cool

Chuck Todd Latest Person To Deny Blue Wave He's Drowning In

Crazy Idea: How About We DON'T Put 'Moral Poison' Thomas Farr On Federal Court?

Let Them Eat SUVs!

Charlottesville 'Alt-Right' Murderer Leading Rightwing Terrorist Vanguard

Melania's New Christmas Hell House Is Up

Trump Has Fun New Climate Strategy: Tell The Truth, Then Completely Ignore It!

How Is Cindy Hyde-Smith Embarrassing Mississippi Today?

LOCK THEM ALL UP!

Our Planet Sucks So Bad That Space Aliens Flew By And Didn't Even Stop for a Bathroom Break

New York Times Introduces Us To Dumbest F*cking Gay People In America

Rick Santorum, Other Idiots: 'But What About Climate COLDING???'

We Had To Tear Gas The Toddlers Or They Might Think America Is Peaceful And Free

NY Times Writes Democrats' Midterms Obit, Apparently Hasn't Read NY Times Since Election Night

We're Back Y'all! Wonkagenda For Mon., Nov. 26, 2018

Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Had Ten Stories This Week!

Don't Buy These Wonkette Bazaar Christmas Gifts Today, It Is Buy Nothing Day Dummies!

Until The Bare Lies Shine Through: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2018

Georgie Papadopoulos Decides He Doesn't Want To Go To Jail On Monday, LOL 'K?

Soybean Farmers Celebrate Thanksgiving By Letting Trump Eat Their Faces Off

Acting A.G. Meatball Preps For Congressional Colonoscopy

Marcia Fudge Melts Before Hot Fire of Nancy Pelosi's Gavel Of Doom

Sarah Palin Hurls Self Into Thanksgiving Turkey Grinder, For A Change

Put Your Leftovers In Your Stomach, With Spicy Turkey And Squash Soup!

Eat This Leftover Stuffing Strata For Every Meal For The Rest Of Your Life Or Until It's Gone

It's Buttercup Squash Pie For Thanksgiving, Because SHUT UP, PUMPKINS

Make Thanksgiving 'Monkey Bread' With Nancy Reagan, FOREVER!

This Thanksgiving's Hottest Recipe Is Mamie Eisenhower's Lesbian-Soviet Hockey Rink!

Put Some Food On Your Family With Aunt Wonkette's Real Cranberry Business

You Want Rolls For Thanksgiving, We've Got What You Knead (GET IT?)

Y'all Are Eatin' Collard Greens Up In Here; Or, Vegetables Are Better With Bacon

Put Thanksgiving In Your Mouth With Grown-Up Baked Mac And Cheese, For Grown-Ups

President BabySh*ts Actually Tried To LOCK HER UP, Because He's A Garbage Human Being

Here Is Barry Obummer Making Fun Of Trump's 'Mommy Issues,' Have A Nice Day!

Maybe Secretary Of State Helped Cover Up Saudi Murder, Maybe He Didn't

What The F*ck Is Wrong With Men?

Ryan Zinke Knows Who Burned Down California, And It Is Hippies

Acting A.G. Meatball Will Learn To Law Real Good Now He's Being Sued All The Time

HOT TAKE: Seth Moulton And His White Friends Should STFU And Hand Nancy Pelosi Her Gavel

Walmart No Longer Stocking GOP Sen. Cindy Hyde-Smith's Economy-Brand Racism

How Can Ivanka Be President When She Can't Even Send Emails Without Putting The Entire Nation At Risk?

In Georgia, The Election's Not QUITE Over Yet

'Russia, If You're Listening...' Wonkagenda For Tues., Nov. 20, 2018

GOP Like 'F*ck Yeah, Dude, Let's Piss On The Guy Who Killed Bin Laden!'

WAIT A MINUTE. Is The FBI Actually Going To Go After Rightwing Domestic Terrorists???

Trump Knows What Forests Need, And It Is Yardwork

Trump Admin Will Protect 4-H Cows From Gay Kids

White House Brain Trust Flips Off Acosta Judge

Went Back To Orange County, Orange County Was Gone

Happy Thanksgiving, America! The President's Brain Is Broken.

Rake America Great Again. Wonkagenda For Mon., Nov. 19, 2018

Deleted Comments: In Which Wingnuts Do Sarcasm At Us

How Sad Are You That You Are Not At The 2018 Flat Earth Conference Today?

Your New Boyfriend: This Terrible Novelist Who Couldn't Get Published Because Sexism Against Men.

Stacey Abrams Did NOT Concede, She Never Lost, She Was Cheated

Bill Maher, An Ass.

Ben Sasse Knows Why There Are 'Two Americas': YOU'RE A BAD PARENT

Wonkette's Top Ten Is BACK IN ACTION!

Peggy Noonan Has Questions About Michelle Obama

Trump Judge In Jim Acosta Case Kicks Trump In The Dick

Betsy DeVos Fighting For All The Oppressed Young Brett Kavanaughs

Michelle Obama Can Tell Barack's Is Bigger Than Trump's Just By Looking At It

Florida Vote Recounts Calm, Rational, As Expected

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Not Even Walking Around Congress Like A Dickensian Street Urchin

GOP Sen. Cindy Hyde-Smith Hilarious Again, 'Let's Not Let Black People Vote' Edition

Facebook In World Of Hurt After Blaming George Soros For ... Hating The Jews?

Julian Assange To Be Offered Asylum In American Prison. Don't Bring The Cat.

Trump To Throw Paper Towels At California Wildfires

SOMETHING'S COMING!

Yo' NRA *So Broke* That If It Were A Poor Person It Would Be Sad And Not Funny

Let The Eagle Soar! Wonkagenda For Fri., Nov. 16, 2018

Wonkette Is Now A Kamala Harris 2020 Fanblog

Mohammad Bone Saw Strikes Again, And This Time Trump Is Helping!

CNN's Jim Acosta Case: You Know WHO ELSE Picked His Own Press Pool?

Infowars Hit By Credit-Card-Stealing Malware, Are Gay Frogs To Blame?

Why Is Trump Having A Bumbling Lunatic Roid-Rage Sh*t Fit Today?

Avenatti Arrested For Domestic Violence ... And Pissant Jacob Wohl Is Taking Credit???

Nancy Pelosi Gonna Brain #FiveWhiteGuys With Gavel OF DEATH

Please Call Augusta State Prison And Ask Them To Not Amputate This Man's Foot! (UPDATED!!)

Trump Mad You Need ID To Buy Cheerios, But All You Need For Voter Fraud Is A Sexy French Maid Costume

Defense Sec Mattis Very Proud Of Troops Serving In 'Operation Midterm Election'

GOP Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith Doesn't Love Lynching! YOU Love Lynching!

Master Of Disguise! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Nov. 15, 2018

Mitch McConnell Is A Shifty-Eyed Goobledonker (Also His Op-Ed Sucks)

Neo-Nazi's Family Saves Lives By Telling Cops About His Stash Of Illegal Weapons

Jim Jordan To GOP: What If We Were Big Stupid Liars Like Trump? You Know, HYPOTHETICALLY

Pretty Sure Ross Douthat's Neckbeard Is The Real Cure For Masturbation

Black Female Georgia State Senator Arrested, Strip-Searched For Doing Job

Little Marco Rubio Kicking Big 3-Pointers At His Own Face Over Florida Election

Justice Department Says It's Cool For Meatball McDumb To Be Acting Attorney General, So All Y'all Can STFU

Sad Trump Too Sad To President, Needs Exercise Wheel Or Maybe A War

Let's Throw A Bunch Of Sh*t At The Wall And Call It The Trump-Russia #SMOKINGGUN

Armed Security Guard Killed By Police For Doing Job While Black

NO CHAOS! NO CHAOS! YOU'RE THE ... Wait, Melania's Firing NSC Staffers Now?

Everyone Is 'You're Fired.' Wonkagenda For Wed., Nov. 14, 2018

CNN: Give Jim Acosta Back His Press Pass Or HE WILL KILL AGAIN

WTF Is Happening In Georgia? A Lawsplainer Of All The Courts Kicking Brian Kemp In The Jimmies Right Now

Wingnuts Can't Stop Making Up Weird Conspiracy Theories About Why Nobody Likes Them

Stacey Abrams Will Make Georgia Count The Damn Votes If It Is The Last Thing She Does

Wingnuts Finding 'Midterm Vote Fraud' In Their Breakfast Cereal

President #NeverMoist Got His Ass Chapped About SOMETHIN' Today. Wonder What!

Lindsey Graham Knows What White Ladies Want

Kirstjen Nielsen Quitting To Lock Babies In Cages In The Private Sector

Kellyanne Conway Knows Who Is An Idiot, And It Is Her Husband

Florida School So Sorry It Exposed Teens To K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Senator Sinema. Wonkagenda For Tues., Nov. 13, 2018

The Top 6 Signs Robert Mueller Is About To Indict The Sh*tfire Outta Some Folks, According To #Science

What The F*ck Is Happening In Florida? Part 5,628,387,893,626,912,532,841

Trump Stops Yelling At Clouds For Three Days, Hides From Them Instead

Party Of Personal Responsibility Blames Dead Man For Loss Of House

Wisconsin School's Nazi Prom Photo Sure To Go Over Well With College Admission Boards

Dana Rohrabacher Curious If Kremlin Having A Job Fair Anytime Soon, Or ...

Trump's Matt Whitaker Appointment Turning Into ClownF*ck Of 'Jacob Wohl' Proportions

GOP Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith Is A Mississippi Goddam ... Racist

Looks Like Kyrsten Sinema Just Deported Martha McSally To McLoserville

Trump's European Vacation. Wonkagenda For Mon., Nov. 12, 2018

Here Is Your Bloody Kurt Vonnegut Again, For The Centenary Of The Armistice

Florida Recount Happening, Andrew Gillum Unconcedes. Hooray!

Sean Hannity Cannot Believe Michelle Obama Would Be So Crass As To Bring Up Trump's Birtherism.

Infowars Loons And Proud Boys Swarm Florida To Demand They Stop Counting Votes.

Your Weekly Top Ten Did A Blue Wave This Week, DID YOU SEE IT?

Fox News Can't Believe Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Won't Sell Clothes She Doesn't Own To Pay DC Rent

Why Does Trump Keep Going Full Racist On Black Women Reporters? Oh Well Guess We'll Never Know

The Porn Star, The Playmate, The President And His Pecker. Just Look At This Passel Of Putzes!

Michelle Obama Said A Mean About Donald Trump And Made Him Cry

Trump Knows The DODGY DOSSIER Is Stealing Elections For Democrats, And HE. IS. PISSED.

Arizona GOP Says No More Counting Votes, Out Of Fairness To Arizona GOP

Thanks For All The Electoral Victories, Donald! Love, Nancy Pelosi And The Deep State Liberals

Federalist Lady Says No MAGA Pussy Hat Marches Over Losing The House, Because Wingnuts Are CLASSY

Donald Trump Ends Asylum, Stephen Miller Sad We're Not Shooting Refugees Yet

Trump White House So Mad Everybody Thinks Matthew Whitaker Is Dumb Unqualified Meathead Dickbrain

Rick Scott Wants Florida To Cut Out All This 'Counting Votes' Nonsense

BLUE WAVE, Y'ALL! Wonkagenda For Fri., Nov. 09, 2018

Ted Nugent Being Subtle Again

Fox News Cancels Caravan 'Crisis,' Re-Declares War On Jim Acosta And Sharks And Happy Holidays And ...

Brian Kemp Declares Victory, Quits Job. He Can Move Into 'Tara' Now, He Means Governor's Mansion?

Trump's Meathead Dumbass AG Appointment Probably Unconstitutional, Says KELLYANNE CONWAY'S HUSBAND

Being Ryan Zinke's Neighbor Sounds Fun

Jim Acosta Nudged White House Intern To Death, But She Got Better

Lucy McBath Going To Congress! Dana Rohrabacher Probably Going Home To Russia, Or Maybe Jail!

THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Trump Topples Confederate Monument Jeff Sessions. No One Black Will Miss Him

House Science Committee Actually Gonna Do Some Science Now!

Midterms Fairly Good For TAKIN' ALL YR GUNS

Jim Acosta: American Hero. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Nov. 8, 2018

CHIN UP, F*CKERS! We Have Only Just Begun To Win So Much We'll Get Sick Of Winning

Poll Worker Charged With Assault After Yelling Startlingly Racist Sh*t

It's A Day-After-Midterms Wednesday Afternoon Massacre!

Trump Is Handling The Loss Of The House Exactly As Well As Expected

SO! What Should Democrats Investigate First????

Let's Toast Our Winners, Gloat Over GOP Losers Because We're Petty That Way

Stacey Abrams Not Conceding A Goddamn Thing!

Chief Justice John Roberts Made Jim Crow Great Again

FUCK YOU I'M DRUNK

Here's Hoping Donald Trump Has A BAD F*CKING NIGHT. Your Midterm Results Liveblog!

Erick Erickson Romancing A Goat, Georgia Voter Suppression Edition!

David Brooks Tries On Steve King's Hood, But Like *Moderately* And Whatnot

How To Watch The Governors' Races

Very Civil Militia Man Just Promising Murder Spree If We Don't Vote How He Wants Us To

Border Patrol Axes Today's El Paso 'Crowd Control' 'Exercise,' Nothing To See Here, Move Along

Trump Ad Saying Everything Laura Ingraham Says Nightly Somehow Too Racist For Fox

Liar-in-Chief Trump Lies About Defending OBAMACARE, *From Democrats*

'Four More Years!' Trump Rallygoers As Stupid As Trump

MSNBC IS SO GAY RIGHT NOW, And Other News To Tide You Over Until The Polls Close

Steve King Finishes Campaign By Reminding Voters That Nazis Hate Fags

Maine Gov. Paul LePage To Finally Fulfill His Destiny: Becoming FLORIDA MAN

David French Has Earned This Bag Of Dicks Right Here

ELECTION DAY! Wonkagenda For Tues., Nov. 6, 2018

Remembering 10 Years Since We Baracked The Vote

20 Questions With Jess Phoenix, Actual Damn Scientist

Jeff Sessions Finally Steps In To Uphold Civil Rights Act By Stopping Minorities From Voting

Kris Kobach Has A Black Staffer, So Forget About His White Nationalist Friends!

This Is The Only Internet Blog Article You Need To Read About Tomorrow's Midterms

Why Are We Yelling At the New York Times Today? ALL OF IT, KATIE.

President BabySh*ts Can't Wait To Fire ERRBODY On Wednesday, Maybe Murder Russia Investigation Too!

Rightwingers Killed 15 Americans In Last 10 Days, But 'SNL' Said Veteran Looked Like A Porner

Brian Kemp Knows Who The Hackers Are, And It's The Democrats Who Warned Him About Hackers

It's A Youthquake!

Jake Tapper Cuts Ronna Romney McDaniel's Sh*t

Don't Boo, Vote! Wonkagenda For Mon., Nov. 5, 2018

Deleted Comments: Trump Doesn't Encourage Violence. It's All Anita's Fault!

How Sure Are We That Beto O'Rourke Will Lead Blue Wave In Senate? REAL DAMN SURE! ​

Chronically Wrong Person Claims He Knows What Women Want.

Of Course The Guy Who Shot Up A Yoga Studio Was An Incel With A History Of Assaulting Women.

NRA Just A Bunch Of Broke-Ass Scrubs, Too Bad

'The Left' Fails To Issue Offical Decree Denouncing Anti-Semitic Jerk Who Really Likes Trump.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is READY TO VOTE

If Congressman John Lewis Can Dance His Ass Off, So Can You!

Midterm Madness: The Republicans Who Hate Republicans Edition

Donald Trump Just Wants To Shoot Refugees *For Freedom*, Is That So Wrong?

James O'Keefe Caught Beto's People Feeding The Hungry, And Ted Cruz Is PISSED

Stacey Abrams Is Funny And Awesome And Sweet And Great And Oh Oprah Was There Too

Congressman's Office Threatens Professor For The Violence Inherent In The ... Fart Joke

Jacob Wohl Even Too Stupid For Stupidest Man On The Internet

Don Lemon Unfairly Suggests White People Focus On Who's Actually Killing Them

Trump's Spy Machine Stalking Twitter For 'Insurrection'

Is It Possible Roger Stone Was TOO STUPID For Russian Ratf*cking?

'Consider It A Rifle.' Wonkagenda For Fri., Nov. 2, 2018

Caravan ​Bebes​ Finally Get Chance To Dance And Play

Brian Kemp Whines Stacey Abrams Won't Excuse Him From Debate To Go Lick Trump's Balls

Very Serious Journalists Wonder What Would Trump Do, Asking For Jesus

Despite Trump's Slasher-Flick Attacks, Obamacare Still Undead!

Tomi Lahren v. Candace Owens Is The Z-List Celeb Beef You Didn't Know You Needed

Jacob Wohl's Imaginary Robert-Mueller-Accusing Girlfriend Had To Go Back To Canada We Guess

Trump Gives Don McGahn The Send-off He Deserves

Trump: Illegal Immigrants Taking Murder Jobs From Hard-Murdering Americans

Gateway Pundit Blockbuster: Democrats Are Actual Black-Magick Satanists!

Trump: Psycho Dumbass Or Psycho Fascist? Haha It Is BOTH!

Voting Rights Heroes Coming To Save The Day!

'When I Can, I Tell The Truth.' Wonkagenda for Thurs., Nov. 1, 2018

Shut Your Smug Faces About The Teens Trick-Or-Treating, I Mean Seriously Jesus Christ

Let's Liveblog Steve Bannon's Life And See If It Sends Us Into A Tailspin ... Of LOLs!

Beto O'Rourke Talks To People Of Color Like We Are Actual Voters Who Exist

Lies, Damn Lies, And The New York Times, AP, NPR Uncritically Repeating Trump's Birthright BULLSH*T

Trump Explains Pittsburgh Loves Him, So It Was A Very Nice Day

Gavin McInnes, Republican Gang 'Proud Boys' Axed Off Facebook. A Little Late.

The Latest On The Genius Plot To Underpants Gnome Robert Mueller To Death!

Republicans STARTING To Get Antsy About Nazi Steve King In Their Congress

Is It Time For Ryan Zinke To GO TO JAIL?

David Brooks: Hey, America, What If We Did 'Freaky Friday,' But For CONGRESS?

SPOOKY. Wonkagenda For Wed., Oct. 31, 2018

TFW You Try To Pay Women To Accuse Robert Mueller Of Rape But Just End Up Boning Yourself

Steve King Fighting To Save His Cantaloupes, And More Poll Fun!

Militia Dude's Lawyers: 'Just Following Trump's Orders!'

Mike Pence's Fake Rabbi Walks Into A Bar, Says Jews Are Going To Hell

Uninvited, Unloved Donald Trump Refuses To Stay The F*ck Away From Pittsburgh

Jordan Peterson Shocked, Shocked To Find Anti-Semitism Is Going On In His Establishment!

Laura Ingraham Demands Trump Explain How He Got So Great

Silicon Valley Nukes 'Gab' And All The Nazis Are Crying

Nikki Haley Something Something Obama Charleston Massacre

Fox News JUST SAYIN' Trump's Caravan Crisis Is Giant Crock Of Sh*t

Trump Barfs Out Some Crap On Birthright Citizenship, IGNORE

George Soros Is A Goddamn HERO

Oh, It's Gonna Be A DAY. Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 30, 2018

SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS GONNA YELL A LOT NOW

Guess Who (NRA) Told Americans (NRA) To Use Guns (NRA) To Stop George Soros (NRA) In 2006?

Brazil Elected An Actual Fascist For President, ON PURPOSE

Hugh Hewitt Knows Trump Is Gentlest, Kindest Non-Violence-Incitingest President In Whole Wide World

American Heroes Ivanka & Jared Convince US President To Tepidly State 'Jew Killers Are Bad'

Nancy Pelosi Said A Bad Again! (No She Didn't)

Fox News Unveils Netflix for Right Wing Crazies

President Lazyass Is Like SO BUSY You Guys

Trump White House Knows Who's To Blame For Pittsburgh Shooting, And It Is SQUIRREL! FAKE NEWS LIBERAL MEDIA SQUIRREL!

Very Creative Georgia Voter Purge Leaves Like Nine Georgia Voters On The Rolls.

Both Sides Forever: Conspiracies, Complicity & Chuck Todd

Sarah Huckabee Sanders: I Am Bad At 'Christian' -- Direct Quote Probably

Crazy Enough For You? Wonkagenda For Mon., Oct. 29, 2018

Here Is Your Wonkette Golden Probes Watch Party!

May Their Memories Be A Blessing And Peace Be Upon Them: Pittsburgh Roundup Day Two

LOOKS LIKE WE MADE IT. Maryland, Rhode Island Are Last Two Damn Senate Races This Year ... OR EVER????

Today's Open Thread Brought To You By Donald Trump's Open Umbrella.

Trump Won't Stop Until We Are All Dead.

New York Times Still Going 'Both Sides' On Trump & His Critics Who Support Actual Democracy

11 Dead In Shooting At Synagogue. Can All This Shit Please Stop Now?

Your Weekly Top Ten Just Hangin' With Stormy Daniels 'N' Stuff

The Eight Best Science Horror Movies!

You're Not Gonna Believe This, But Steve King Did Nazi Stuff Again

Donald Trump Is The Blackest Blackety Black Who Ever Blacked A Black

North Carolina Lt. Gov. DOES NOT Want You To Vote Fraud, GOP! But Here's Instructions Anyway!

George Papadopoulos: Lousy Spy, Worse Lawyer

Looks Like 'Bomb Stuff' Suspect Is Trump MAGA Idiot Of Our Dreams!

'Blue Lives Matter' Unless They're Black

Georgia Gov Race CRAZY CLOSE, So Republicans 'Lose' Almost 5000 Ballots

Newt Gingrich Saying The Quiet Part Loud Again

Laura Ingraham, Other Gross People Think Trump's Enemies Should Stop Hitting Themselves With Fake Bombs

Here's Some Mueller Morsels To Tide You Over Till The Midterms!

'It's Just Not Presidential!' Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 26, 2018

Chuck Grassley Sics DOJ On Michael Avenatti And Julie Swetnick: LOCK THEM UP

Trump Family Foundation Fu...., Errr Shenanigans!

Breitbart Wants To Sue Activists For Telling Companies They're Advertising On Breitbart

Megyn Kelly Reportedly Quitting Show To Spend More Time With White Santa And White Jesus

Mohammad Bone Saw SHOCKED To Find Khashoggi Murder Premeditated

Sarah Huckabee Sanders: Trump Won't Tolerate Heinous Violence That Kicks Her Out Of Restaurants

Who's Doing 'Wire Tapps' To Donald Trump? Oh, Just F*cking EVERYBODY

Andrew Gillum Carves Up Ron DeSantis For Halloween Murder Debate: The Sequel

Usual Dumbasses Declare Mail Bombs A Democrat Plot, Because Dumbasses

You Wouldn't Like Him When He's Nice. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Oct. 25, 2018

Georgia Election Now Featuring Slightly Less F*ckery, So Hooray!

Team Trump Knows 'Caravan' Lies Are Lies, But They're Such POPULAR Lies

NO TARIFFS! NO TARIFFS! YOU ARE THE IMAGINARY, NONEXISTENT TARIFFS!

CNN Just Checking To See If Everybody Still Hates Hillary Clinton A Lot

Punchable Nazi Richard Spencer Accused Of Domestic Violence.

White House Releases Freshman Essay 'The Socialism, It Is STINKY And BAD'

Brian Kemp Will Ride Those Typos All The Way To The Georgia Governor's Mansion

Racist Megyn Kelly Really Sorry She Didn't Know She Was Racist As Hell

WHO THE F*CK IS SENDING BOMBS TO BARACK OBAMA AND HILLARY CLINTON AND CNN?

Cory Booker Doing Class Warfare, OH NOOOOOO

Now Is The Time For Jeff Flake To STFU And Go Away

Nationalist Trump. Wonkagenda For Wed., Oct. 24, 2018

Chuck Schumer Unclear On Difference Between Vandalism And Attempted Murder

Scummy Push Pollsters PINKY-SWEAR Republican Goon Squad Will Win Florida

Nuclear Treaties? John Bolton Just Wants To Blow Some Sh*t Up

New Trumpcare Twist: Screw Those Preexisting Condition Protections Republicans Are Running On

Minnesota's Hottest Free Airbnb For Caravan Migrants Is Carol's Lake House!

Saudi Security Chief Skyped In And Touched Someone. (Khashoggi. To Death.)

Normal Human Trump Volk Very Excited About George Soros Getting A Mail Bomb

Trump Promises BEST Imaginary Middle Class Tax Cut EVER

Constitutional Law Expert Eric Trump Says Dumbf*ck Thing

New York Times Finds Stacey Abrams's Whitey Tape: Burning The Confederate Flag (HELL YEAH)

Arizona Vaccine Education Program Dead Of Stupid People, Also Polio

Beware The Return Of Zombie TrumpCare Junior, Again. Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 23, 2018

No-Show Almost-Interior-Inspector-General Sh*tcanned From Previous No-Show Post

We Told You The Trump Administration Was Coming For Your Birth Control Pills.

Latino Voters Gotta Get The Hell Out Of Dodge, Literally

The Andrew Gillum/Ron DeSantis MURRRRRDER Debate, Pt. Deux!

'Bone Saw Body Double' Such Bad Plan, Jared Kushner Could Have Come Up With It

Charlie Kirk Misses Diaper Change, Has Complete Meltdown At Politicon

Andrew Gillum Keeps Murdering Ron DeSantis In Florida Gov Debate After He's Already Dead

Trump Unpersons Transgender Folks

For F*ck's Sake! Get Your Damn Flu Shot, You Stupid Baby!

McKinsey SHOCKED To Discover What Saudis Did With The Enemies List It Cooked Up

Does Mueller Have A Mole In The Russian Ratf*ck Shop?

'We Got A Great Big Convoy.' Wonkagenda For Mon. Oct. 22, 2018

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand Will Cut Your Yarbles Off If She Must, But Only If She REALLY Has To.

Let's All Just Watch This Weird Video Of Some Guy Ranting About 'Q' Going Missing, OK?

The Week In Garbage Men: GOP Congressman Wishes You Gals Could Be More Chill About Groping

High School Gun Humpers' Walkout Was Astroturf Operation, Big Surprise

Miami GOP Chair Joins Proud Boys In Screaming About Socialism At Democratic Offices.

Bone Saw Week Overtime: The Fisticuffs Edition

Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Is Stirred, Not Shaken

Ecuador Tells Julian Assange To Get Off The Couch, Or They're Taking His Cat

Bonesaw Week Ends With GOP Calling Khashoggi A Terrorist, Of Course.

Is Andrew Gillum Too Good To Be True? The New York Times Is VERY SUSPICIOUS.

THE MIGRANTS ARE COMING!

Donald Trump Loves The Stupid And Violent

Police Arrest First Proud Boy. Surprise! He Also Likes Beating Up Women.

Ohio Senate Candidate Jim Renacci Tries To #MeToo Sherrod Brown

Wanna Feel Good This Morning?

Whatever Ryan Zinke's Wife Lola Wants, Lola Gets

Joe Arpaio Sues New York Times For Ruining His Sterling Reputation

GOOD MORNING MONTANA. Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 19, 2018

John Bolton, John Kelly In White House Screaming Match, And We ALL WIN!

Smart Nerds Gonna Flip EIGHT State Legislatures To Dems. They Need Money To Do That. Well?

North Carolina Conservatives Saw Their Homes Washed Away, Now They're Almost Climate Change Believers!

Facebook Forgot To Carry The One, Killed Journalism. ALLEGEDLY.

Montana GOPer Cain't Wait To Shoot Up Some Dirty Hippies For Trump!

Kamala Harris Has Good Idea For Economy: Give Poor People Money To Buy Stuff.

Dave Brat Whines To Prisoners About His Struggles, Or 'Kampf'

Trump Won't Let A Little Murder Ruin A Literally Rewarding Friendship With Saudi Arabia

Trump And Fox, Just Flashing White Power Signs To Each Other All Morning

Trump Tower Suing Guy It Killed In A Fire

Donald Trump Warns California: Stop Burning, OR ELSE

Idaho Game Commissioner Shitcanned For Loving Shooting Animals Too Much

Who You Gonna Call? Dr. Bonesaw! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Oct. 18, 2018

Mueller Investigation Almost Over, According To People Who Wish That Were True

Facebook Sorry Its Hate Machine Caused Actual Genocide

Sorry, Georgia Republicans, But Black People VOTING!

We Feel Like We've Said This Before, But Donald Trump Is The Stupidest Person Who Ever Lived

GOP Hack Will Ensure Ryan Zinke's Ethics Are Up To Ben Carson's Gold Standard

New York Times Gives Fascist Republican Gavin McInnes A Sweet, Loving Tongue Bath

Republicans Suddenly Love Everything About Obamacare Except For the 'Obama' & 'Care' Parts

'Handsome Ted Cruz Really Made Great Point,' Said No One Of Last Night's Beto-Cruz Debate

Fusion GPS Founder Glenn Simpson Is Through With Republicans' Bullsh*t

Sweet, Cuddly Despot SHOCKED To Find Killers In His Retinue

Mitch McConnell Knows Who Is To Blame For Deficit: Grandma Millie And Her Oxygen Machine

'Guilty Until Proven Innocent.' Wonkagenda For Wed., Oct. 17, 2018

James Bond Sexed A Lady And Got Her Pregnant And Now He's Carrying His Baby Around. WHAT A GAY!

It's Okay Guys, They're Just Sweet, Bumbling Kidnappers (With Bone Saws)

Sears Bankruptcy Yet Another Reminder Mitt Romney Should Go To Hell

Ralph Nader Yelling At Dems To Support The Billionaire Who's An Actual Corporation

Turning Point USA Yukked It Up With Racist Rape Memes? You Don't Freaking Say.

Chuck Schumer Got ROLLED? The Chuck You Say!

HORSEFACE. He Called Stormy Daniels HORSEFACE.

Reading Carter Page's 'RICO-Conspiracy' Suit Is Law School In Reverse

Family Separation 2.0 And Other Immigration Funtimes, Because Trump Sucks

So Sad! Poor Tucker Carlson Can't Go To Restaurants Because He's A Jerk

Michael Cohen In The #Resistance Now, He Can Have Pink Pussy Hat?

Rogues And Villains. Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 16, 2018

Are These The 5 Dumbest Reactions To Elizabeth Warren's DNA Test? Sure Why Not.

Douchebro Duncan Hunter Race-Baiting His Way Back Into Congress En Route To JAIL

Hey, Good News, Black Man Not Killed This Time For Being In His Own Damn Apartment!

Don Lemon And Chris Cuomo Called Tucker Carlson A Dangerous Idiot, And Wingnuts Are #TRIGGERED

Good Guys FIGHTING BACK On Voter Suppression. (But Lord There Is So Much Of It.)

Trump Fingers ROGUE KILLERS With Diplomatic Passports (And Bone Saw) For Saudi Slaying

The New York Times Is Trying Way Too Hard To Be Fair To Monsters.

Pay Up Trump: You Owe Liz Warren $1 Million Of Your Daddy's Money

Donald Trump Is Stupid And Dumb And Insane And Dumb And A Total F*cking Baby Who Is Also Very Dumb

Trump To Hurricane Michael: Now Watch This Drive

We Don't Mean To Alarm You, But The News Is Talking About Climate Change

Lucky Japan Tapped To Pick Up Trump Campaign Finance Tab

'I'm Not A Baby!' Wonkagenda For Mon., Oct. 15, 2018

US Sen. Martin Heinrich In HOTT 'New Mexico Three-Way!'

Come Get Your Weekend News Dump!

GOP Candidate Says He Only Wanted To Stomp On Opponent's Face With 'Golf Spikes' METAPHORICALLY.

Dark Time For The Rebellion: Marvel Fires Chuck Wendig For Having Opinions

Violent Mob Of Republican 'Proud Boys' Assault Protesters. Is That What 'Civility' Looks Like?

Facebook Finds The Trolls Are Coming From Inside The House

Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten BRB We Are Going To Mexico

Right Wing Nutjobs Very Scared Of All The Witchcraft We Are Going To Do To Them

PA Gov Candidate Gonna Curbstomp Democrat's Face, For Civility

What The Hell Is It With Republicans Crapping On Native Americans?

Ross Douthat's Fancy New York Times Brain Ponders: What Will Make Blacks Love Trump?

Chuck Schumer Bad At Job

AZ Republicans Get Their Roger Stone Ratf*ck On

Shitty Media Man Would Like One Million Dollars, Please.

John Kelly Has Problem With 'Arrogant Woman' Liz Warren, Or Maybe Just Women In General

GOP Idiot Running For Governor Of Michigan: Is He LITERAL American Psycho?

Waller County, Texas, Thinks It's Just DARLING When The Black Students Vote

Anyone Who Claims To Know What Mueller's Up To Is LYING

What Could It Cost, Michael? Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 12, 2018

Five Other Stories Today That Are Not Kanye West At The White House

Democrats Swimming In Midterm Money For A Change

Everybody Hates Trump Rallies Now, Even Cousin-Humping Weirdos And Fox News

Republicans May Chastize Our 'Incivility' Just As Soon As Donald Trump Is Not President.

Republican Brian Kemp Not Letting 53,000 Georgians Register To Vote For Some Unknown (JUST KIDDING) Reason

Donald Trump Is Gross And Weird And Bad And Stinky And Creepy

SHUT UP, JARED! No One Brings A Bone Saw To An Innocent Business Meeting.

Part-Time First Lady Is Most 'Bullied' Person In Entire History of Bullying

Mitt Romney's BACK, BABY, And Still A Idiot

Congress Just Can't Find A Good Day To Punch Rod Rosenstein In The Face

Nobody Likes Trump Rallies :( Wonkagenda For Thurs., Oct. 11, 2018

Set Your DVR, CNN Gonna Air Beto O'Rourke's Pretty Face For An Hour With No Gross Ted Cruz Booger Lips In Sight

Ron DeSantis, Dinesh D'Souza Have, Combined, Three-Fifths A Brain

Don't Go Away Mad, Dave Brat. JUST GO AWAY.

Rand Paul's Wife Suddenly Not Fan Of Loud, Obnoxious, And Yelly

Melania Trump: Sexual Assault Only Counts If Dude Wore A GoPro On His Dingle

Supreme Court Tells North Dakota It Can Suppress All The Native Votes It Wants!

Conservatives Want Us To Burn Books SO BADLY, And Honestly It's A Little Weird.

Jared Kushner And His Saudi Pals Unleash The Purge

Looks Like GOP Blew Brett Kavanaugh's Wad A Few Weeks Early

Hillary Clinton Tells Republicans What They Can Do With Their Damn 'Civility'

Donald Trump Defends Medicare From Evil Socialist Dems In Op-Ed He Writed All By Himself

Your Lies. Wonkagenda For Wed., Oct. 10, 2018

UN Climate Report: You Know, Guys, We *CAN* Still Fix This!!

North Dakota, We Have Had It Up To Here With You!

'New FOX' Keeps Hope Alive. Hope Hicks. Get It?

What The Hell With Rick Gates Doing NO COLLUSION With Israeli Spies, Who Why What Now?

Trump Tariffs Have Ford Falling Apart Like A Rusted-Out '79 Fiesta

Radio Rwanda Host Tucker Carlson Horrified By Partisan Propaganda On TV

Nikki Haley's Got Two Thousand And Twenty Problems, But The UN Ambassadorship Ain't One

Trump And Rod Rosenstein Kissed And Made Up On The Tarmac, ALL BETTER NOW

Trump Apologizes To Kavanaugh On Behalf Of 'Nation' Just Like Old Man Apologized To Cheney For Getting Shot In the Face

'An Angry Mob.' Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 9, 2018

Trump Didn't Win In Spite Of The Access Hollywood Tape. He Won Because Of It.

The Gang Of Bumbling Nitwits Who Tried To Hack Her Emails

Wall Street Journal Sooo Bored By Donald Trump's Itty-Bitty Massive Tax Fraud.

Sure Would Be A Shame If All Georgia's New Voters Turned Out To Vote!

Cop Who Killed Tamir Rice Gets To Legally Shoot Children Again We Guess

Jared Kushner's BFF Saudi Prince Guy Just Killing More People, More, Again

Taylor Swift Gives Marsha Blackburn Swift Kick In The Ass

Tarana Burke And Alyssa Milano Forget To Beat Chuck Todd With A High-Heeled Shoe

I Am An Italian-American And I Think Columbus Day Is Garbage

New York Times Editor Dean Baquet Made Poor Eric Lichtblau Write Those Trump-Russia Lies

Donald Trump Makes Up Stupid Thing

As The World Burns. Wonkagenda For Mon., Oct. 8, 2018

Nebraska Democrat Lady Just Might Ride Trump's Trade Wars Into US Senate

My Mother Is Screaming

Welcome To Gilead: Kavanaugh's On The SCOTUS And Everything Is Broken

For Once, A Chicago Cop Was Found Guilty Of Murder

Melanie Trump Invaded Africa And All She Got Was This Lousy Pith Helmet

America Ready To Shower Susan Collins' Challenger With Millions Of Dollars!

Your Weekly Top Ten Is On The Road Again

WE'RE ALL IN IT TOGETHER, FUCK-KNOCKERS!

Rev. William Barber Gets MacArthur 'Genius Grant' For Being FUCKIN' HERO

Good Christian Republicans Know That Old Holocaust Survivor Is Pulling Our Strings!

The Heartwarming Tale Of The GOP Senator Who'll Leave Daughter's Wedding So He Can Fuck Over All Women

What Is The Difference Conservatives See Between 'Thugs' And 'Frat Boys'?

Kavanaugh Hearings Got David Brooks All David Brooksed Up!

Don Trump Jr. And Kimberly Guilfoyle Are Surfing That Red Wave

OH JESUS CHRIST, GO FUCK YOURSELF, JOE MANCHIN.

Capitol Overwhelmed By Massive Turnout Of Six Pro-Kavanaugh Marchers

Great, Now The Whiny Yelly Motherfucker's BEGGING

Why Did Christine Blasey Ford Ask Brett Kavanaugh To Bust Up That Chifferobe?

Kaving. Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 5, 2018

Heidi Heitkamp Not Voting For Quaaludes McRapeVan, Because Fuck You Is Why

Michael Moore Needs To LEARN A MATH, PIGFUCK.

Yes, Ben Sasse, Kavanaugh Vote IS A Referendum On What You Think About Women.

Betsy DeVos Defends Civil Rights Of Bigots Who Want To Discriminate Against Trans Kids

Finally Some Good Immigration News!

Leading Conservative Thinkers Demand Washington Post Call Jennifer Rubin A Total Bitch

Everything You Should Know About Trump's NAFTA II: The NAFTENING

We Promise We Will Let You Know When #MeToo Has Gone Too Far, OK?

If FBI Can't Investigate Brett Kavanaugh's Sex Crimes, JANE MAYER AND RONAN FARROW WILL

QAnon Dipshits Get Raptured: Presidential Emergency Alert Texting Edition

Nazi Dentist From 'Marathon Man' Would Be Step Up From Conditions In Private ICE Prison

You Boofed Yet? Wonkagenda For Thurs., Oct. 04, 2018

Democratic Ad Does Class War All Over The GOP's Big Fat Tax Cuts For Rich Fuckwads

What The Fuck Is Happening With The Brett Kavanaugh FBI Investigation?

Moms Demand Action Get Some Action In The Keystone State!

Well, At Least Donald Trump Is Getting Poorer

New York Times Calls A Fraud A Fraud

Dudes Call Blasey, Swetnick Lying Hoors, So That's Wednesday For You

Four Of Trump's 'Very Fine People' From Charlottesville Arrested On Account Of Nazi

Indelible In The Hippocampus Is The Laughter Of President Shitbag And His Deplorables

Trump's EPA Rethinking That Whole 'Radiation Is Bad For You' Thing

BEACH WEEK! Wonkagenda For Wed., Oct. 03, 2018

Mitch McConnell Says Y'all Can't See FBI's Kavanaugh Report, So That Shit Gon' Leak

GOP Senators Just Can't Quit Justice Kavanaugh

Did Kavanaugh's Buds Cosby All The Ladies?

Let Us Now Dance On The Grave Of MRA Hate Site 'Return Of Kings'

Tinfoil Hat Brigade Rides To The Rescue Of Kavanaugh Nomination

Don't Know How To Say This, But It *Looks Like* Brett Kavanaugh Lied Again

American Horror Story: Baby Jails Inspector General Report

Trump All Up In Stormy Daniels's ... Restraining Order. Yeah, Her Restraining Order.

Lo Unto Us A UB40 Bar Brawl Has Been Given!

California Tries To Save The Internet, Jeff Sessions Sues It

You're Pretty Sure President Lies-So-Much Is Lying About Richard Blumenthal And Vietnam. But How?

UB-Forties. Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 2, 2018

Oh No, Has President BrainStupid Said Too Much?????

Kanye West Proud To Be Trump's MAGA Pet

Polling Funtimes: Moneyball Edition!

Because The Baby Jails Were Too Cushy, Now It's Midnight Trains To Texas

Don Jr. Terrified Of Day When Trump Men Might Not Be Allowed To Be Gross And Rapey

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Cardiovascular Benefits Fish

Tom Cotton Declares War On True Enemy Of Women, Dianne Feinstein

Rachel Mitchell's Not Calling Christine Blasey Ford A Liar ... Well, Not EXACTLY

Devin Nunes Has A Secret. A Cow Secret.

Surprise! Brett Kavanaugh FBI 'Investigation' Kinda Bullshit, Thanks To GOP And Trump

What FBI Investigation? Wonkagenda For Mon., Oct. 1, 2018

Tom Carper And Robert Menendez Are Democrats We Don't Love. Look! Beto O'Rourke And Doggies!

Hey! Let's All Give Ourselves 12 Seconds To Not Think About Sexual Assault Today.

Sarah Palin's Son Just Got Arrested For Assaulting A Woman. Again.

Brett Kavanaugh Now A 'Folk Hero' To America's Worst Humans.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Still Spitting White Hot RAGE

Sorry, Republicans: We're Never NOT Going To Call Drunk-Ass O'Kavanaugh A Credibly Accused Sexual Predator

Guess Those Elevator Ladies Got Through To Jeff Flake?

Racists 'Clean Up' Vermont State House By Forcing Out Only Black Woman Rep

This Is NOT Over

Crap-Filled Carolina Rivers Visible From Space After Hurricane Florence, So That's Disgusting

BREAKING SHOCKER DRUDGE SIREN: Jeff Flake Pulls A Motherfucking Jeff Flake

Where The Fuck Was Mark Judge?

Missouri Senate Candidate Josh Hawley Has A Preexisting Condition: Lying His Ass Off

Old White Boys Club. Wonkagenda for Fri., Sept. 28, 2018

Christine Blasey Ford Just Sciencing The Fuck Out Of This

Go Fuck Yourself, Lindsey Graham

UN Takes Turns Pissing All Over Trump's Lawn

Pizzagate Weirdo Knows The REAL Reason The Left Doesn't Want Kavanaugh Confirmed.

I Pre-Ordered Michael Lewis's New Book, And So Should You!

Donald Trump's Very, Very Large Brain Held A Press Conference

Doppelgänger 2: The Rapin' Boogaloo

An American Hero And A Rapey McGrossFace Walk Into The Senate Judiciary Committee. Your Shitshow Hearing Liveblog!

Desperate Erick Erickson Can't Stop Falling For 4Chan Hoaxes

WELCOME. TO. HELLLLL. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Sept. 27, 2018

Sounds Like Brett Kavanaugh Loves Green Eggs And Ham, By Which We Mean He MIGHT Be A Serial Rapist

Is Dianne Feinstein 'Bout To Shove Lisa Murkowski Into A Locker, Or Is Everything Cool?

YETI PUBES GRRR ARGH!

Kirstjen Nielsen LIED About Baby Jails? That Can't Be Right!

Guess Brett Kavanaugh Didn't Want Us To READ His Alibi Calendar

Susan Collins Just Not Sure About Infowars Slut-Shaming Christine Blasey Ford

MICHAEL AVENATTI COMETH

Merrick Garland Exists, Sarah Huckabee Sanders. He Was Real. We All Saw Him.

Bill Cosby Will Rise From Dead, Give Brett Kavanaugh Jello Puddin' Pop

Twelve Rapey Men: A Preview Of Tomorrow's Brett Kavanaugh Shitshow!

Relax, Rod Rosenstein! Susan Collins Is Drawing RED LINES!

Après Rod, Le Déluge!

Saint Brett. Wonkagenda For Wed., Sept. 26, 2018

6 Reasons Mel Gibson Should Go Away Forever

Lisa Murkowski Showing Susan Collins How Not To Be Such A Susan Collins

Donald Trump Read His UN Speech Real Good. They Still Laughed At Him.

Of Course The White House Wants Deborah Ramirez To Testify. They Want To Destroy Her.

Oliver North Says Brett Kavanaugh Died For Our Sins, By A Doctor Of Rhetoric

Should Ted Cruz Be Able To Eat Dinner In Peace? Nope. NFW!

Mother Seeking Protective Order Tossed In Jail For 'Crying While Black'

Brett Kavanaugh A Good Friend To All The Boys And The Girls That He Was Friends With

Brett Kavanaugh, The Weeping Virgin Saint Of Friendship, Calendars And Dancing With Girls Politely

Hooray! Government Forgave 96 People's Student Loans! Out Of 28,000 Applicants.

Teenage Sex Terrorist. Wonkagenda For Tues., Sept. 25, 2018

Can Brett Kavanaugh Still Plow Through Without America's Consent? LET'S TAKE BETS!

Take A Break From The Crazy With Governor Polling Funtimes!

Megyn Kelly Astonished Some Woman Would Wait Years To Accuse A Powerful Man Of Gross Sex Stuff.

Dallas Police Chief Fires Amber Guyger. Up Next: Ted Cruz?

BREAKING: Nobody Knows What The Fuck Is Going On Right Now

Stephen Miller Just Boned Your Legal Immigrant Abuela

Kellyanne Conway Shameless Again, Kavanaugh 'Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy' Edition

Rod Rosenstein Not YOU'RE FIRED Over That Shitty New York Times Story Yet ... OR IS HE?

Kavanaugh Sunday: Return Of The '90s

Pull Out Brett, Like The Jesuits Told You To Back At Georgetown Prep

Ronan Calling. Wonkagenda For Mon., Sept. 24, 2018

Deleted Emails: What Kind Of Socialist Owns A Website, Anyway?

Maine And Vermont Have This Strange Independent Streak

Arizona GOP Rep. Paul Gosar's Siblings Don't Want You To Vote For Their Terrible Brother

The 9,834 Times Beto O'Rourke Made Ted Cruz Look Like A Creepy Asshole

Did Married Trumper Jason Miller Poison Lover With Abortion Pill Smoothie?

Sure, DeSantis Could Return Money From Racist Donors But Then He Wouldn't Have It Anymore

Trump Threatens Another Goverment Shutdown, Because Chaos Is KIND OF His THING

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Goddamn APPALLED By The New York Times Right Now

New York Times Just Handed Trump Rod Rosenstein's Head On A Stick, So It Can Fuck Right Out Of Here

Wrongly Convicted Man Set Free After 27 Years By Super Sleuths At ... Golf Digest!

Guess How Much Jail Time Man Got For Strangling A Woman And Masturbating On Her?

Franklin Graham Pretty Sure There's Nothing Wrong With A Little Rape Between High School Kids

Michael Cohen Reportedly Being Robert Mueller's VERY GOOD BOY!

The Brett Kavanaugh Modeling Agency ... Errr, HR DEPARTMENT

ICE Arresting Sponsors Of Migrant Kids, Because Deport Everyone Is Why

Ben Carson's HUD Full Of Unqualified Suck-Ups Like Ben Carson

Why Did Dianne Feinstein Force Republicans To Make Fun Of Rape Victims?

Trump: Why Didn't The FBI Tell Me The Thing It Told Me, IMPEACH!

Idiot Lawyer Ed Whelan Used SCIENCE (And Zillow) To Prove It *Really Was* Brett Kavanaugh's Evil Twin

Trump Derangement Syndrome. Wonkagenda For Fri., Sept. 21, 2018

Mazie Hirono All Up Chuck Grassley's Butt Like ALOHA, MOTHERFUCKER!

Facebook: White Nationalism Is Thumbs-Up Like Emoticon!

Is Brett Kavanaugh's Evil Twin The Real Attempted Rapist? Maaaaaybe!

Brett Kavanaugh Don't Need No FBI Investigation Since GOP Staff Is ON IT

New York Times Just Published A HOLY SHIT WOW Story On The Trump-Russia Conspiracy, So That's Unlike Them!

Trump Idiot Lawyer Has PROOF That NBC Framed Trump ... But It's A SECRET!

Ladies! Get EMPOWERED By Losing Your Reproductive Rights And Being Groped!

Flood Victims Cope With Toxic Coal Ash, Pigshit, And Donald Trump

Your Daily Reminder That President Wonder Pubes Is A Tragically, Mindfuckingly Stupid Man

What The Fuck Is Wrong With Susan Collins?

Kava-NAW. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Sept. 20, 2018

Hillary Clinton Was On Maddow Last Night, You Probably Already Watched It

FBI Will Declassify Shit For Trump When/If It Feels Like Declassifying Shit For Trump

Tucker Carlson Very Disappointed In Sexual Assault Victims. Yes, Victims.

Wisconsin Rep. Shelia Stubbs Busted For Dealing Politics In White Neighborhood

Trump's Space Force Is Getting Murdered On The Launch Pad

Donald Trump Borrowed Obama's Time Machine, James Comey Edition

D-I-V-O-R-C-E: Trump And That Douche Ron DeSantis Running For Florida Gov!

Christine Blasey Ford Not As Dumb As Y'all Republicans Wish She Were

Senator Mazie Hirono Has HAD IT With You Motherfucking Men In This Motherfucking Place!

​We Read The Hurricane Maria Mortality Report, So Trump Doesn't Have To​!

Plucky Maine Library Decides Not To Censor Own 'Banned Books' Display

Don't Forget Poland. Wonkagenda For Wed., Sept. 19, 2018

Trump Gonna BURN THIS SHIT DOWN To Save His Ass From Robert Mueller!

As Nevada Gov, Ryan Bundy Will Repeatedly Kill And Rape Killers And Rapists, For God!

GOP Senators Will Find Whoever Left Pubic Hair On Brett Kavanaugh's Coke

And His Name Shall Be Called PRESIDENT YETI PUBES!

Julian Assange Doesn't Like Being Leaked On :(

Brett Kavanaugh To Fuck Self Live On TV This Monday!

Will Texans Trade In Ted Cruz For Tofu-Loving, Cop-Bashing Beto O'Rourke?

Indicted GOP Congressman Says Fuck It, These Idiots Will Probably Re-Elect Him Anyway

Brett Kavanaugh, Ken Starr, Vince Foster's Corpse Peen, And Bill Clinton's Live One.

Infrastructure Week: Supreme Court Edition. Wonkagenda For Tues., Sept. 18, 2018

Donald Trump Jr. And Brett Kavanaugh Walk Into A Bar. Cover Your Drinks!

How About We Stop Treating Women Like We Treated Anita Hill?

Fuck Ted Cruz For Scaring Texas Grandmas. Also, Just In General

7 Bizarre Highlights From That Vulture Interview With Soon-Yi Previn

Megyn Kelly Just Saying Maybe Christine Blasey Ford Is Bleeding From Her Wherevers

Immigration Officers Charged With Rape, Serial Killing. Guess We're Not Sending Our Best.

Don't Blame FEMA's Brock Long For All Those Wifebeating Puerto Ricans!

Sunday Show Republicans VERY MAD At Democrats For Making Brett Kavanaugh Assault That Girl

What Up GOP? Gonna Ram Kavanaugh Through Or Pretend To Have A Conscience?

Christine Blasey Ford Is A Goddamned American Hero

White House Shocked Everyone Calling Brett Kavanaugh Rapey Like That's A BAD Thing

'Bart O'Kavanaugh.' Wonkagenda For Mon., Sept. 17, 2018

Vladimir Putin Crashing Parties All Over The World Like A Bad Case Of Herpes

Debbie Stabenow Up Against Pretty, Vacuous Trump Fan In Michigan's US Senate Race

What Is It, Exactly, That Twitter's Conservative Employees Are Afraid To Say At Work?

'U Up?': FEMA Gives Trump The Ability To Mass Text America

Helen Keller Not A Good Enough Citizen For Texas Board Of Education.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Not Fake News, So FUCK YOU, CHART

Happy Weekend, Donald Trump! Paul Manafort's Plea Agreement Says You Are WELL AND TRULY FUCKED!

Wow, Now Even Willie Nelson Is Triggering Dicks

Canada Legalized Weed, So Guess Who's Gonna Be A Huge Narc About It, Man?

Congratulations, Brett Kavanaugh, On Not Sexually Assaulting These Particular 65 Women!

Rick Scott Just Fixin' To Pack Florida Supreme Court On Way Out The Door

They're Already Trying 'Reefer Madness Defense' To Help Cop Get Away With Killing Botham Jean

Robert Mueller Letting Paul Manafort Plead Guilty To Jaywalking Just To Be Nice, OBVIOUSLY

NRA Doing Campaign-Finance Hijinks, Non-Russia Edition

Going Out On A Limb Here, But Brett Kavanaugh Is Kind Of A Dick

Just Two Russian Tourists Out For A Stroll, Not Poisoning Any Englishmen, No No!

Paul Ryan Wants To Kill Just A Few More Poor People, For Old Times' Sake

Rock You Like A Hurricane! Wonkagenda For Fri., Sept. 14, 2018

Wonkette Is Fake News Like Louise Mensch, According To World's Best Fucking Chart

Meet New Planned Parenthood President: Leana Wen, MD, PHD, BAD-ASS.

Trump's Glorious Tax Cuts Keep Giving: FREE Corporate Jets For Rich Fuckwads!

Migrant Baby Jails Now Massively Tremendously Historically YOOGE. USA! USA! USA!

QAnon Idiots Get Banned From Reddit For Harassing ... Satan

Michael Avenatti Sees Your Raggedy Ass Coming, Michael Cohen

A Gentle Reminder: Do You Want Wonkette TO DIE????

Trump Pretty Sure Those 3,000 Puerto Ricans Died AFTER He Threw Paper Towels At Their Faces

Looks Like There's No Men Left At CBS, How Sad

Trump, They Don't Like You! They Really Don't Like You!

Boy Howdy, Paul Manafort Must Be Hiding Something Fucking YOOGE!

Eye Of The Storm. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Sept. 13, 2018

Mitch McConnell Officially Losing His Shit, Because The Senate Is IN PLAY, AYUP.

Eric Trump Ain't Just Frogwhistling Dixie!

What If Lindsey Graham Isn't Compromised, What If He's Just LIKE THAT?

The EU Just Broke The Internet And Started A War With Pirates

SPOILER: Freedom Caucus Fuckwit Mark Meadows Just Makin' Up Shit About Peter Strzok's Texts

Hurricane Roundup: Rush Limbaugh, Toxic Stormy Pig Doots, And Didn't North Carolina Declare Sea Level Rise Illegal?

Maybe It's Bad For Everyone When Rapists Run The Country?

Russia Attacking US Diplomats In Cuba With Sharks With Freaking LASER BEAMS

Bob Woodward Just Saying Trump More Braindead Than You Ever Imagined

Before Hurricane, Trump Admin Diverted FEMA Money To ICE Baby Jails

Does Texas Obamacare Judge Have Pre-Existing Brain Damage From Hitting Self In Head With Frying Pan? Yes.

LEAVE SUSAN COLLINS ALOOOOOONE!!!!1!

'Unsung Success.' Wonkagenda For Wed., Sept. 12, 2018

Pat Robertson Beat Up Hurricane Florence With His Bible And Now It Is Dead

That Time When Brett Kavanaugh Tried To Screw Over 9/11 Families

White Supremacists To Tucker Carlson: We've Got Your Back!

Facebook Is Letting Rightwing Shitrags 'Fact-Check' Liberal Sites. You Won't Believe What Happened Next!

Want More Sexxxy Bob Woodward Dirts About President Badstupid? HERE'S SOME!

Dana Loesch Knows Who The Enemy Is: Thomas The Tank Engine, And We Are Not Kidding

Gene Therapy And MICRO-PIGS! YOU FUCKING LOVE SCIENCE!

Jerry Brown Saves World Again, This Time With 100% Green Energy For California

Scott Walker May Face A Spot Of Bother This Fall

Maria Butina, You Just Made A Federal Judge Watch Karaoke Videos. STAY IN JAIL!

Botham Shem Jean Killed By Hero Cop Protecting His Own Home From Himself

Trump Commemorates 9/11 By Whining Like A Goddamn Baby, What A Shock

Let The Eagle Soar. Wonkagenda For Tues., Sept. 11, 2018

GOP Shitting Pants That Ted Cruz Might Lose, Because He Sucks And Everyone Hates Him

John Kerry, Uh, Thinks, Uh, Ohio Might Have Been, Uh, Hacked, Uh, In 2004

Is Tucker Carlson A Tiny Bit Defensive About His Balls-Out Racism?

Republicans Have Bold, Fresh New Idea: More Tax Cuts On Their Way Out The Door

Les Moonves Leaves CBS To Spend More Time With His Rape Lawyers

Oh Ben Sasse, Please Shut The Fuck Up

Ken Starr All Over The Place Today, Being A Real Piece Of Shit

Serena Williams Will Break Her Racket Off In Your Sexist Ass

George Papadopoulos Stops By A Bunch Of TV Cameras On His Way To Jail

Sunday Show Roundup: The Forever President Returns!

Ron DeSantis: Hasn't Burned A Cross That We Know Of

Meet Vice President Ofdonald. Wonkagenda For Mon., Sept. 10, 2018

Trump SHOCKED To Learn Trade Wars Are Bad And Hard To Win

Deleted Comments: JFK Died In An Occult Ritual And Q Knows Everything!

Senator Maria Cantwell's Republican Challenger Likes Blowing Smoke

Tucker Carlson Dreams Of Room Filled Entirely With Tucker Carlsons

The Week In Garbage Men: Going Carnivore To Own The Libs, Alex Jones Gets Gone, And A New MGTOW Hero

Yes, Obama 'Lectured' Us, We Deserve To Be Lectured Good And Hard

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Part Of The Resistance Inside The Wonkette Media Empire

Brett Kavanaugh Gonna Get Yelled At In Restaurants

Elizabeth Warren Fixin' To Run Against Mike Pence

Barack Obama Kicks Off Midterms By Kicking Donald Trump IN THE ASS

Democrats FORCING GOP To Keep Using Hacked Stuff In Campaign Ads, Some More

Oops Zina Bash Did It Again

Kellyanne Told Trevor That Becky Wrote The NYT Op-Ed Because Kellyanne Is Such A Fucking Heather

Time For Another Episode Of Punk'd, With Your Host RUDY GIULIANI

Dear Miss Manners: What's The Proper Way To Wipe Your Nose On A Flag At A Trump Rally?

Child-Tasing Cop Shows Minorities Can Totally Hate Other Minorities

Betsy DeVos Loses A Father-In-Law, Gains Some Billions Of Dollars

Are Republicans About To Confirm A Perjurer To SCOTUS? Hey, Shit Happens!

Tired: Banning Abortion. Wired: Banning The Pill. And Brett Kavanaugh Is ON IT!

The Mad King REAL MAD. Wonkagenda For Fri., Sept. 7, 2018

I AM BEEKEEPER NOW! By Shypixel

Shorter Cory Booker And Senate Judiciary Dems: COME AT US, BRO

Roy Moore Sues Sacha Baron Cohen For Making Him Look Stupid, Sleazy.

Kamala Takes Break From Murdering Brett Kavanaugh To Murder Facebook, Twitter Execs

Trump's Not Crazy, You're Crazy, Fake Doctor Argues On Hannity's Fake Show

WHAT THE HELL DOES KAMALA HARRIS KNOW ABOUT BRETT KAVANAUGH?

ICE Demands All North Carolina's Voter Ballots. Is That Bad, Or Is It UTTERLY TERRIFYING?

A Very Genteel And Civilized Supreme Court Confirmation Hearing Just Kidding LOL

Anonymous Trump Idiot Just Doing A Coup In The New York Times, TOTALLY NORMAL

The Great Alex Jones-Marco Rubio Fuck-Tussle

Somebody's Crying. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Sept. 6, 2018

Dr. Jerome Corsi, PhD, Subpoenaed By Mueller, Something Something GAY OBAMA, Something Something FEMA CAMP

Baller Ted Cruz Gonna Deport Beto O'Rourke Back To ... Ireland?

Sounds Like Trump's Locked In Oval Office Masturbating To His '100 Pictures' Of Mueller And Comey Kissing

Hopey-Changey Thing Working Out For Massachusetts's Next Congresswoman, Ayanna Pressley

Whatever, Haters. Trump Doesn't Care About BOOK!

Brett Kavanaugh: Soulless Dick

2018 Show Writers Bring Back Least-Missed Character For Dumb Cameo

Grifty Scientologist Chiropractors Charged With $80 Million In Medicare Fraud, And Oh, Hi Rick Scott!

Kris Kobach's Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Fucked Day

And Then Brett Kavanaugh Opened His Tiny Butt-Mouth. Illegitimate Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings Liveblog, DAY TWO!

Dozens Of Deep Throats. Wonkagenda For Wed., Sept. 5, 2018

Lies About Elizabeth Warren Continue To Be Lies, Fake News At Eleven!

Rahm Emanuel To Stop Terrorizing Chicago With His Potty Mouth, Nubs!

The George Papadopoulos Story: It's Not Illegal If You're White!

The 445,672 Most HOLY FUCKING BATSHIT Moments In Bob Woodward's New Trump Book (SO FAR!)

Aretha Franklin's Funeral Upstaged By Male Idiocy

Just Say Kava'NO' to Kavanaugh

Trump Wants A Cool AG Who Will Only Prosecute Democrats

Old Senator Calls Gang For One Last Heist: This Priceless Diamond Supreme Court Seat!

Colin Kaepernick And Nike Trigger Some Dicks

A Russian Spy And The Former NRA Head Decide To Become International Fuel Dealers. Because 2018.

Brett Kavanaugh Calling Balls And Strikes All Over YOUR FACE. An Illegitimate Supreme Court Confirmation Hearing Liveblog!

Gonna Be A Hell Of An Infrastructure Week. Wonkagenda For Tues., Sept. 4, 2018

Test Shortcode

US Kind Of Likes The Idea Of Killer Robots

Wyoming's John Barrasso Illustrates Why US Senate Is Permafucked

Small Government Enthusiast Laura Ingraham Wants The Government To Run Social Media

Fox News Celebrates Labor Day Weekend With Class...ism.

In Space, No One Can Hear Dinesh D'Souza Whine

Let's All Have Mixed Feelings About John McCain's Funeral And Those Speaking At It.

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Dating Beto O'Rourke Now, Be Very Jealous

Did Hillary Clinton And Ariana Grande Hug At Aretha's Event, Or Johnny Walnuts's? A Funeral News Quiz!

Robert Mueller Bags Another Witch! And It's A GOOD ONE.

Can We Just Hurry Up And Make Kamala Harris President Already?

Justice Department 'Warns' It Can't Prosecute Election Hacking. Warning, Or Invitation?

America Plays Fuck/Marry/Kill With Trump, Robert Mueller And Jeff Sessions And Sessions Gets ... LAID?

Tiny Texas Police Department Has No Cops Left After Indictments, How Sad

Black Woman Sent To Prison For Violating Voting Booth While On Probation

Don't Look Now, But Here's Another Bugfuck Trump Interview!

Bank Of America Demands 'Papers Please' For Customers' Money

Trump Hates Jeff Sessions For His Hick-Talkin' Cousin-Fuckin' Trump-Supportin' Southern Accent

How You Like Him Now? Wonkagenda For Fri., Aug. 31, 2018

Happy Birthday Molly Ivins! Jesus, If You Could SEE This Shit.

Sad Trump Wants Cool Lawyers Like Jared Has :'(

Nixon Frosts Cuomo At New York Governor Debate

FBI Says President Sundowner Full Of Shit (Again)

Trump's New Birther Crusade: Pretty Much All Mexican-Americans Born In Texas Border Towns

Ron DeSantis 'Monkeys Up' Florida Gov Race Like A Common Macaca

Fox Rigs Up Speedball Of Crazy, Shoves The Needle In Donald Trump's Veins

California Puts No-Money Where Its Bail Was

US Government To Rid Itself Of Meddlesome Judge In Baby Jails Case

Trump Tells Pastors To Break The Law Or Else Get Murdered By Antifa

Paul Ryan Hates Racism, Cares About Poors. Except In His Super-PAC's Ads.

Funky Shit Going Down In The City. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Aug. 30, 2018

GOP Will Beat Beto O'Rourke By Showing Texas How Fuckable Beto Is

You Can't Break Up With Trump, Don McGahn! He's Breaking Up WITH YOU!

Heckuva Job, Trumpy: Puerto Rico Death Toll From Hurricane Maria Now 2,975

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, Jeff Sessions! (You Crusty Fucking Bigot!)

What The Fuck Is Wrong With Chuck?

NBC's List Of 'Laziest' States Is Stupid, Lazy

Florida And AZ Primary Funtimes YEEHAW!

This Is The Last Time We Want To Talk About Killer Cop Betty Shelby

WHO THE FUCK IS BRUCE OHR? A Wonksplainer Of Who The Fuck That Guy Is

Paul Ryan's PAC Wants To Fight Dirty With CIA Agent Abigail Spanberger? Lotsa Luck!

British Spies Tell Devin Nunes To Go Fuck A Euro-Cow

Florida, Man. Wonkagenda For Wed., Aug 29, 2018

Maybe Lindsey Graham Is Just A Piece Of Shit

Federal Court Has Had ENOUGH Of North Carolina Republicans' Shit

Hey Paul Manafort! You Freakin' Out, Buddy?

Louis CK Ready For His Redemption Arc, Mr. DeMille

Fox News Demands Ban On Thing That Hurts Children: Video Games

GSA Makes Shocking Decision To Block Competitor To Trump Hotel

Glenn Greenwald Wants To Be Kinder, Gentler Russian Stooge White Nationalist Fucking Moron

Roseanne Conner Is Dead, Long Live Its Zombie Spin-Off 'The Conners'

QAnon Wacko Birds Explain McCain's Death Using Facts And Logic

NRA TV Has New Message Of Puppies And Rainbows And Not Killing The Media At All! Wait, Scratch That

President Petty Demands Attention. Wonkagenda For Tues., Aug 28, 2018

President Zen Master Totally Losing His Shit Right Now, So That's New And Different

Pretend President Pretends To Can NAFTA, Let's Pretend To Clap!

Cindy McCain To Inherit Senate Seat? That'd Be ... Fine, Actually!

Generous Republicans Will Let You Buy Health Insurance As Long As You Don't Need Healthcare

Roger Stone Maybe 'Bout To Get Indicted, Please Send Money For Commissary IN JAIL

OH SHIT Pope Francis Covered Up Cardinal's ... Consensual Adult Gay Stuff? Oh.

House GOP: Here Is A List Of Crimes We Covered Up That Democrats Might Wanna Vestigate

Forty-Four Percent Of Americans Continue To Be Fucking Idiots

Sarah Palin Responds To John McCain's Death By Whining About Nicolle Wallace (Because She's A Dick)

President Pissybaby Pays His Disrespects To Unperson John McCain

Thoughts And Prayers. Wonkagenda For Mon., Aug 27, 2018

Mazie Hirono Ready To Keep Kicking Trump's Okole

Pour One Out For Ol' WALNUTS!

Trump Beams With Sheer Joy Upon Meeting Noted QAnon Idiot.

Ex-Doorman Now Free To Dish About Trump's Alleged 'Love Child.'

Republicans Barely Hiding Their Love For Russian Voter Fuckery

Not Enough Sleep Makes You Lonely, But Too Much WILL KILL YOU!

Your Weekly Top Ten Has Vacation Pictures, To Show To Your Face!

Let's End A Rollicking Sex Week With Some Juicy Bouncy POLL PORN!

Let's Talk About Don Jr. And His Mob Lawyer Alan Futerfas!

We Get It: Kellyanne Conway Is A Lying Lie-Bag, Stop Putting Her On TV

Oh Hey, Brett Kavanaugh Was All Up In Hillary Clinton's Vagina

The Trump Organization Is Sooooooooooo Fuuuuuuuuuucked

Will Trump Pardon Paul Manafort? Who Can Say? (That's A Joke.)

Georgia County Decides Against Suppressing Black Vote Just This Once, Since People Noticed

We Need To Talk About Trump's Pecker Protector

In Which Duncan Hunter Embussens His Wife

Trump Refugee Boss Explains Why All Ladies (And Girls!) Must Birth Babies.

HI DAD. I'M IN JAIL. Wonkagenda For Fri., Aug. 24, 2018

It's Time For Another Goddamned Jeff Sessions Death-Watch, Because Why The Fuck Not

MAGA Manafort Jury Lady ... Was Good, Actually. Golf Clap, MAGA Manafort Jury Lady!

Duncan Hunter & Wife Gonna Beat The Rap, Win Re-Election & Take All His Girlfriends To In-N-Out

Betsy DeVos Knows Who Needs More Education Moneys, And It Is The NRA!

Donald Trump Wants To MAKE APARTHEID GREAT AGAIN!

Let's Talk CONSPIRACY: A Peckersplainer, About Trump's National Enquirer Buddy David Pecker!

You Won't Believe This, But Trump's 'Fox & Friends' Interview Was BATFUCKING INSANE

Testing Entry Editor

Ana Navarro Ain’t Got Time For Melanie and Tami’s Bullshit

Say, What If We DON'T Confirm President Unindicted Co-Conspirator's Supreme Court Nominee?

Trump And His Deplorables Should Keep Mollie Tibbetts's Name Out Of Their Racist Fucking Mouths

MSM Finally Calls A Big Fat Liar A Man Who Fuckin' Lies. Wonkagenda For Thus., Aug. 23, 2018

For Just 10 Grand A Year, You Too Can Join 'Weird Mike' Cernovich's Kool Kids Klub!

Racist Georgia Polling Place Fuckery: Can You BELIEVE It's Jeff Sessions-Approved?!

Michael Cohen Ready To Spill, And HELLO Don Jr. And Eric!

President Words Brain Knows How Mommy Makes The Turkey, And It Is Called 'Gestation'

This Is An Elegant Fucking Civil Rights Master Class From Beto O'Rourke, Sit And Get Learned!

Here's The Fox News Fantasy World Trump And Your Republican Mom Enjoyed Last Night

Larry Kudlow And His Racist Friend

How Many Crimes Did Trump Have Michael Cohen Commit For Him? ALL OF THEM, KATIE!

Trump Blows A Foul Wind

Susan Collins Pretends To Be Stupid, Again

Duncan Hunter, You Are GUILTY! GO THE FUCK TO JAIL (WITH MICHAEL COHEN AND PAUL MANAFORT)!

SEE YA! Wonkagenda For Wed., Aug. 22, 2018

Michael Cohen, You Are GUILTY! GO THE FUCK TO JAIL (WITH PAUL MANAFORT)!

Paul Manafort, YOU ARE GUILTY! GO THE FUCK TO JAIL!

Welcome To Silkwood, Don McGahn

Trump's Dirty Energy Plan Will SHOCK YOU! Like With Electricity, Until You Are Dead.

'10 Things I Want To Know About Bill Clinton's Penis': A Story By Brett Kavanaugh

QAnon Geniuses Ready To Sue 'The MSM' For Making Them Look Stupid :(

Oh No, Another Poor Defenseless Confederate Statue Toppled Like A Common Saddam Hussein!

Get Ready, Afghanistan! Erik Prince Gonna Rambo Your Ass!

Oh No, We Are All Broke From Tax Cuts! Better Cut Social Security!

Trump Will Fire Robert Mueller, Replace Him With 'Himself'

Trump Screwing Iraqi Translators Like They Were His Hotel Contractors

How Many Ways Can Rudy Giuliani Step On A Rake?

'Go In' And 'Do Whatever.' Wonkagenda For Tues., Aug. 21, 2018

GOP Thinks It's Going To Beat Phil Bredesen By ... Shitting On Ben Folds And Jason Isbell? LOL OK

Trump Administration Fires White Nationalist Speechwriter. No, Not Stephen Miller.

Ex-Congressman Footie Pajamas So Mad Those #MeToo Ladies Ruined His Bright Career

ICE Goes Easy On Human Smugglers, Cracks Down On Smuggled Humans

Is Michael Cohen In Big Trouble? Or Is The NYT Full Of Crap? (JK, It Is BOTH.)

White House Superlawyer Don McGahn Has New Best Friend, And It Is Robert Mueller!

Arizona Wannabe Senator Kelli Ward Doesn't Know Who Mike Cernovich Is, Where She Parked Her Car This Morning

Rudy Giuliani Plus Truth Equals Five

Obvious Omarosa Says Trump Wants A Race War. We Say YA THINK?

Robert Mueller Through With George Papadopoulos's Shit, Time To STFU And Go To Jail Now!

Sunday Rundown: Rudy Knows Jack. Jack Doesn't Know Shit.

This IS A Bad Meme. Wonkagenda For Mon., Aug. 20, 2018

You Losers Know Nothing Of My Epic Takedown Of Dinesh D'Souza, Says Actual Nazi

Chris Murphy Ready To Win Second Senate Term, Take Your Guns, Single-Payer Your Healthcare.

No One Saw It Coming: Snake-Handling Pastor Gets Bit By Snake

ICE Don't Care If You're Driving Your Pregnant Wife To The Hospital, Will Detain You Anyway

We've Now Reached The 'So What If Trump Said The N-Word' Stage Of This Cancerous Presidency

Trump Vows To Protect Conservatives From Pretend Social Media Censorship

Your Weekly Top Ten Is STILL BOSS OF YOU

Eastern Washington Wonkers, Are You Spokane For?

Hey, Remember That Time Obama Busted Up In 'The Celebrity Apprentice' To Murder Bin Laden Right In Trump's Face?

Brett Kavanaugh Gonna Strict Constructionist All Your Abortions And Gay Weddings Away

It's Not That Funny That You Can't Tell Black People Apart

President Whiny Ass Taking His Invisible F-35's And Going To France

Hey, Is Closing All But Two Polling Places In A Mostly Black County Racist? Asking For Georgia.

Trump NDAs Unenforceable? Trump Lawyers Shitty? WHAAAAA?!?!?

OMAROSA OHMYFUCK! Your Daily Omarosa Roundup, We Guess

The DMV Is Not Like Concentration Camps And Other Statements Self-Evident To Everyone But Morons

It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's More Disingenuous Trump Horseshit About Obamacare!

SEAL Commander Who Killed Bin Laden Invites Trump To Go Suck Some Bone Spurs

Pentagon Hates The Troops. Wonkagenda For Friday, Aug. 17, 2018

Now Is The Time On Sprockets Where Gordon Klingenschmitt Exorcises Everyone Who Hates Trump

Mike Ness Punched Rude-Ass Trump Idiot At A Social D Show And Now We Are All Pregnant

Trump Supports Freedom Of The Press To Agree With Him 100% Of The Time. OR ELSE.

Gay Hatin' Cake Nazi Hates Transgender Cakes Too, What A Big Shock

Rudy Giuliani: A REAL Lawyer For A REAL President

Hey Robert Mueller, Guess What? Trump's Doing Crimes In Public Again!

Aretha Franklin Was The Greatest Goddamned Singer Who Ever Lived

Alex Jones's Twitter Time-Out Lasts Five Whole Minutes

Y'all Aren't Gonna Believe This, But Kellyanne Conway Is A HORRIBLE ASSHOLE

Dinesh! D'Souza! Demands! To! Be! Taken! Seriously!

Guess Who Else Wants To Fuck The Russia Investigation On The DL?

John Brennan Just Wants To Remind You ... Wonkagenda For Thurs., Aug. 16, 2018

Jason Kessler: SHUT UP DAD, I'M DOING NAZI STUFF!

Trump's Insidious Immigration Fuckery, Part INFINITY!

Aunt Lydia Announces John Brennan Shall Be PUNISHED!

'Prepare To Die Cock Sucker' Just Roger Stone's Way Of Saying 'Sorry You Have Ball Cancer, Old Buddy!'

ANOTHER Omarosa Lawsplainer? WTF IS HAPPENING HERE?

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Can't Guarantee Trump Hasn't Had Verbal Relations With The N-Word

Tomi Lahren, Why Are You So Bad At History?

This Omarosa Bullshit Might Be Getting Somewhere!

FEEL THE PAWMENTUM! Everything You Need To Know About Last Night's Primaries

Fox News Ruining Shakespeare Now, By A Doctor Of Rhetoric

Dehumanization Is The Name Of Trump's Racist Game

Lordy, There Are Tapes! Wonkagenda for Wed., Aug. 15, 2018

It's A Kansas Kobach Clusterfuck, And We Are LOVING IT!

Little Rascals Hack Voting Machines Like A Bunch Of Crazy Ivans

Trump's New Lie About Russian Treason Meeting Allows For Possibility Trump Jr. Is Massive Fuckup

Stephen Miller, America's Last Bastion Against Humanity

Jew-Hating Demon Hunter Lady Gets To Tell Florida Schoolchildren What To Believe, Hooray!

In Reality Show Trump Presidency, Omarosa Might Be The Best Player

DHS Will Stop School Shootings By Teaching Kids Bleeding Is FUNdamental!

Paul Manafort's Defense Rests Without Calling Witnesses. Guess Nobody Answered Their Craigslist Ad.

Florida GOP Candidate Busted For Possession Of PhD (Phony Diploma)

President Stable Genius Knows Where 'Nipple' Is. DO U?

Florida Creep Actually Charged For Allegedly Rage-Murdering Black Guy, Can You Believe It?

Trump Prefers Defense Bills That Weren't Captured. Wonkagenda For Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Stupidest Man On Internet Shitcans Stupidest White House Correspondent On Internet, For We Dunno Why

Goddammit, We Cannot Believe We Are Saying This, But Here Is Your OMAROSA LAWSPLAINER

Baltimore Cop Quit-Fired After Being Caught on Video Remodeling Citizen's Face

Peter Strzok Fired From FBI For Making President Babyshits Cry A Lot, We Guess

Horse Porn-Loving Trump Racist Wants Chris Collins's Sloppy Seconds

Stephen Miller And Bob Goodlatte Suck, According To Their Families

Sunday Show Roundup: Omarosa Has Receipts!!

Manafort Trial Update: DEAR GOD, JUST LOCK THIS GRIFTY SOB UP ALREADY!

Rudy Giuliani Did Not Lie About Thing Rudy Giuliani Lied About Just Now

Two Dozen Caucasian March In DC Was Big Failure, So That's Nice

Kellyanne Conway Asked To Name 'Prominent' Black Trump Staffer, Comes Up With Random 'Ja'Ron'

The Right Fails To Unite. Wonkagenda For Mon., Aug. 13, 2018

Mississippi's 2018 US Senate Elections Are, Of Course, Completely Nuts.

Please Tell Us What Is Going On With These Creepy DIY Videos

D.C. Restaurants To Charlottesville 2.0 Marchers: Nazi Punks Fuck Off

Trump Administration Too Fucking Lazy To Find Deported Parents, Tells ACLU To Do It

It's A Fun New Computer Game! It's A Furniture Polish! No, It's Our Craptastic 'Justice' System!

Your Weekly Top Ten Is BOSS OF YOU NOW

ACTUAL Space Force Will Land On The Sun!

Rudy Giuliani: Lying Or Stupid? Stupid Or Lying? It's Just So Hard To Tell! (He's Lying)

Either Omarosa Is Full Of Shit Or Donald Trump Is Balls-Out Racist. Oh Wait, Both Of Those Things True.

Ben Shapiro Offers Woman $10,000 To Talk To Him

Lord King Votefucker Kris Kobach Supervising Own Election Recount, So That's Great

Hero Judge 'Bout To Deport His Foot Up Jeff Session's Ass

Laura Ingraham Did Not Mean Her Racist Comments Racistly, You Racist!

Dumb Rightwing Rag 'The Federalist' Forgot How Much Superheroes Like Punching Nazis

Real California Farmers Tell Fake Farmer Devin Nunes To Go Fuck Some Cows

Space Force: 2020 Is The Real-Life 'Star Trek' Sequel No One Needs

Illinois Republicans Have Nuts-And-Nazis Problem

Flash In The Pan Gordon. Wonkagenda For Friday, Aug. 10, 2018

What Horror Awaits As Soon As Trix Goes On Vacay? An Important Wonkette Poll Of Importance!

Laura Ingraham Lets Her Tiki Torch Fly

Russian Haxxors In Florida's Database, Killin' Ur Votz

GOP Can't Wait To Examine Kavanaugh's Record After He's Been Confirmed

This Week In Post-Racial America: Tased For Grand-Theft Snacking

West Virginia Republicans Impeach Entire State Supreme Court In Very Nonpartisan Witch Hunt

This Is Your Kid With A Gun. Any Questions?

SHUT THE FUCK UP, DEVIN NUNES, YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!

Let's Grab Some Cristal And Take A Cruise On Betsy DeVos's Luxury Tax-Dodge!

Manafort Trial, Day 7: GTFOH With That 'Embezzlement Deduction'!

Trump Lawyers' Chickenshit Game Over Robert Mueller Interview Enters Eighth Chickenshit Month

Devin Nunes, Keep Fucking That Chicken! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Aug. 9, 2018

Nixon Resigned 44 Years Ago Today. We're Just Saying, DONALD.

Will Kicking Alex Jones Off Of Social Media Backfire?!? Nope.

Why The Fuck Is Spider-Man's Boss Running Veterans Affairs?

What The HELL Do Trump And Putin Have On Lindsey Graham?

Manafort Trial, Day 6: You Go To War With The Asshole You Have

FBI Arrests Trump-Loving Rep. Chris Collins, Just For Doing All These Crimes!

St. Louis Decides Black Lives Matter In Ferguson After All

Trump Declares Flawless Victory In All The 2018 Primaries Everywhere

Mosque-Bombing Dipshit Militia Took Orders From 'Higher-Ups.' Aphids, Maybe.

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel Blames ShootaPalooza On 'THOSE PEOPLE.' Again.

Here's Your Daily Reminder That Trump's Republicans Are Fucking Terrifying

Wilbur Ross Giving Young Whippersnappers Masterclass In Being A Robber

Charlie Don't Surf. Wonkagenda For Wed., Aug. 08, 2018

Congratulations On Being Born, Robert Mueller! We Made You An Elegant Blingee!

There Are So Many Bad QAnon Music Videos On YouTube. Let's Rate Them!

Who Had 'EPA Brings Back Asbestos' In The 2018 Pool?

Paul Ryan Awards Paul Ryan Lifetime Achievement Award For Excellence In Being Paul Ryan

Twerpy Racist Stephen Miller Can't Wait To Make Legal Immigrants Illegal Again

Portland Police Look Into Possible Framing Of Decent White Supremacists

NAZIS In IDAHO? But How Could That Be!

Meet Trump's Little Eichmanns

CNN, MSNBC Get Pat On The Head For Not Covering Trump Slob Picnics

Trump Jr.'s Treason Meeting And Hillary's Dirty Dossier Are Completely Different, And Here Is Why, You Dumb Idiots

Rick Rolled! He Gave Him Up! He Let Him Down!

Manafort Trial Getting Hot In Here. Wonkagenda For Tues., Aug. 7, 2018

Polling Funtimes! HELL YEAH!

How Come Trump Insults Black People So Much? That's A Real Head-Scratcher Mystery Riddle-Puzzle, That Is!

New QAnon 'Expert' Is Guy In Band With Guy On Bravo Show

Alex Jones's Tree Of Liberty Being Watered By So Many Gay Frogs Right Now

Donald Trump Is No Fire Scientist, But He Knows FIRE BAD

Tip Your Servers, Trump Will Be Here All Week

Why Are Mean Accountants Always Trying To Frame Paul Manafort, Paul Manafort Would Like To Know!

TRUMP CONFESSES! (Again)

A Saudi-Canadian War, Eh? Eh!

Sunday Shows: Sinking To A New Sekulow

Get Ready For Executive Time! Wonkagenda For Mon., Aug. 6, 2018

Deleted Comments: How Many Lies Can One Wingnut Tell?

White Supremacists In Stupid Outfits Descend On Portland, For Whatever Reason.

Imagine Needing To Rewrite History To Feel Good About Yourself!

Adult President Throws Tantrum Following Mild Criticism From Black Men

Because The 'Sandy Hook Truther' Congressional Caucus Needs New Blood!

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Less Than 100 Days Out From The Mid-Terms!

Prions! The Proteins that Eat YOU!

We Think We Know The Real Reason Trump Is Losing His Shit Over The Mueller Investigation Right Now

Halp! Halp! The NRA Is Bein' Repressed!

May We Have Some More?

Deportation Nation: Bear Witness To The Week In Immigration Horror

Rand Paul Ain't Gonna Show Up At Your Fancy Farm No More

Paul Manafort Trial, Day 3: When Your Best Hope Is Pinning It On The Help...

Good News, Everyone! Trump Not Actually President

How Dumb Is Dinesh D'Souza's New Movie? Don Jr. Thinks It's Brilliant.

Soybean Farmer Willing To Die In Trump's Trade War So RIP Soybean Farmer

Orrin Hatch Thinks You're A Stupid Fucking Idiot

Jim Acosta Is Through With Sarah Huckabee Sanders's Bullshit. Everyone Else Should Be Too.

The 'Boring Subjects.' Wonkagenda For Fri., Aug. 3, 2018

James Baldwin On His 94th Birthday Still Ain't Your Negro

Right Wing Trolls Know Who Is A Pedophile, And It Is YOU!

New York Times And New York Post Had A Jerk-Off Contest And Everybody Died

Catfishing Illinois Republican Is Gross Creep Of The Day! (So Far)

Paul Manafort's Gross Ostrich Jackets, Explained By A Former Shopgirl

Trump Is Super-Fucked With Robert Mueller, And Rudy Giuliani Knows It

WHO Stole Paul Manafort's Dummied Up Contractor Bill From The Cookie Jar?

Donald Trump To Rush Limbaugh: Government Shutdown Would Be Great For Sweeps Week!

Black Woman 'Stands Her Ground', Goes To Jail Because It's Alabama

Kris Kobach Grifted A Bunch Of Racists, And It Is Hilarious!

Jim Jordan Doesn't Know What Those Wrestlers Have Their Singlets In A Pile On The Doctor's Exam Room Floor About

Paul Manafort: Wannabe Eurotrash Gigolo. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Aug 2, 2018

Hey Michael Avenatti, We Unredacted That Porn Peener Payoff Lawsuit! Are We Right, Or Are We RIGHT?

Robert Mueller's Angry Democrat Witch Hunt Finds TWO ANGRY DEMOCRAT WITCHES!

Hey, What's Up With The 3D-Printed Guns?

QAnon Morons Show Up At Trump Rally, Ready To Battle Imaginary Pedophile Cabal

Don't Look Now, But President Baby-Shits Is HAVING A GODDAMN CONNIPTION

Alex Jones Doesn't Understand How Free Speech Or Humanity Work

Trump Admin Warns: Good Gas Mileage Might KILL YOU

President BadStupid Thinks You Need An ID To Buy Groceries, LOL Jesus Christ

America's Greatest Artist Jon McNaughton Reboots Duck Dynasty

Don't Know How To Say This, But It Appears Trump May Have Committed A Crime

Poor, Naive Paul Manafort Was FRAMED, HE TELLS YA!

Florida, Man. Wonkagenda For Wed., Aug. 1, 2018

Summer's Hottest Man-Flesh Is Donald Trump Jr., If You're Into Faces That Look Like That

Watch ICE Director Almost Have Human Emotion In PBS's 'Separated'

Florida's Ron DeSantis Humiliates Himself For Daddy Trump's Approval

Fire Tornadoes? That Can't Be Good!

Trump Will Win In 2020 By Rubbing Steve Bannon's Dick Scabs All Over America's Face (Again)

Muffy NEEEEDS Another TAX CUT!

Judge Frees Immigrant Babies From Cuckoo's Nest!

Rudy Giuliani Only Said All That Dumb Shit Because SQUIRREL! MAGGIE HABERMAN! MAGGIE HABERMAN HOLDING A SQUIRREL!

Barack Obama And Joe Biden Had Lunch Yesterday, And Jake Tapper Will Allow It

Putin's Hard-On For Ex US Ambassador, Splained: IT'S THE SANCTIONS, STUPID!

New EPA Chief Cleans Up Scott Pruitt's Final Pile Of Filthy Poo

Trump's YUGE Koch Problem. Wonkagenda For Tues., July 31, 2018

PLEASE BUY ALAN DERSHOWITZ'S BOOK 'I LOVE TRUMP' WHICH IS NOT ABOUT ALAN DERSHOWITZ LOVING TRUMP YOU GODDAMN MCCARTHYITE

HELL. NO. To Shackling Pregnant Women, JESUS CHRIST.

Sessions Vows Religious Liberty And Justice For All Straight Christians Amen

Medicare For All Would Save Trillions, Koch Brothers Find By Accident, Whoops!

Rudy Giuliani Just Lighting All The President's Alibis On Fire

Devin Nunes Says You'll Be SHOCKED When You Read This Thing Devin Nunes Has Not Actually Read

Because 2018 Was Mysteriously Lacking In ... Bigfoot Porn

Obama's Hip-Hop Beyonce Show Didn't Create Jobs

WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE ...

Sunday: Shut Up, Rudy!!

Giant Baby Has Internet Tantrum. Again. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 30, 2018

Amy Klobuchar And Tina Smith: Minnesota's Two-For-One US Senate Races

Cops Held Ving Rhames At Gunpoint Because White Lady Had Free Time

Your Saturday Open Thread Wants You To Be A Velociraptor!

Roy Moore Sues Super PAC For Correctly Calling Him A Mall Pervert.

Do You Love Racism And Real Estate Schemes? Tomi Lahren's Got You.

Immigrant Child Sex Abuse Victim Told Not To Bother Her Attacker Because America Sucks

Your Weekly Top Ten Has Also Been Fired From Fox News For Showing Everybody Don Trump Jr.'s Dick

Seattle, Bellingham, Spokane, Washington: Prepare The Wine And Women

Reunited Families Finally Meet Some Real Americans

Putin Invites Trump To Moscow For Season Two Of '50 Shades Of Pee'

Everything Trump Needed To Know About Tariffs But Was Afraid To Ask

Russians Tried To Hack Claire McCaskill. To Help Her, Probably!

Feel-Good Fridays: Take Care Of Your Damn Vitamin Deficiencies

Sounds Like Fox News Fired Kimberly Guilfoyle For Being A Real Dick-Show, We Mean Shit-Show

Blue Wave Of Handsomeness Might Wipe Out Texas Republicans

Government Proud Of Its Great Job Reuniting Two-Thirds Of Families It Ripped Apart

Michael Avenatti's Got Binders Full Of Trump Women, Sad Gross :(

How Many Trump-Russia Treasons Does Michael Cohen Know About? ALL OF THEM, KATIE!

Obstruction Junction! Wonkagenda For Fri., July 27, 2018

NRA Breaks Its Silence Over Russian Spy: LOOK! JANE FONDA 46 YEARS AGO!

Helpful New York Times Map Reveals How Much Empty Space Voted For Empty Suit Trump

Jim Jordan's Kinky Fantasies

Normal Website The Daily Caller Fantasizes About 'Punishing' Kneeling Football Men

Sad Breitbart Is Sad

Thirsty Avenatti!

Please Save Us From The Spread Of CNN Fight Club Shows

Grover Norquist Thinks You're Too Dumb To Realize You Get Paid More Now, For Sure

Franklin Graham Says God Is Biggest 'Wire Tapp' Of Them All

Michael Cohen A Seething Cauldron Of Resentment And Revenge Fantasies, So: SURPRISE!

Mark Meadows And Jim Jordan Saw Goody Rosenstein Dancing With The Debbil

Lordy, Michael Cohen's Got Tapes! Wonkagenda For Thurs., July 26, 2018

What Kind Of Idiot (EVAN) Thought The Trump-Cohen Peener Payoff Tape Was BORING????

Meghan McCain Is Fact Deaf And You Are Too Now

TRONC TO NYDN: DROP DEAD

WE WEREN'T KIDDIN' WHEN WE SAID PUTIN PROBABLY PUT 'WIRE TAPPS' IN TRUMP'S SOCCER BALL

Trump Heroically Rescues Farmers Mugged By Unknown US President

NICE TIME! Georgia GOP Running Some Idiots Against Kick-Ass Stacey Abrams And Lucy McBath!

Melania Doesn't Want To Talk About Her Slut-Ass Husband, OK?

Trump Gives ISIS, MS-13, And Next Boston Bombers Plastic Guns That Evade The Metal Detector At Your Kid's School

Tucson PD Just About Had It With 'Sex Camp' Militia Lunatic Too Crazy For The Genteel, Tea-Sipping Bundy Clan

Elphay Emay Aypay For The Playboy Playmate Fucking, Say Idiots In Unbreakable Code

Florida Creep All But Gets A Medal For Shooting Black Father In Convenience Store Parking Lot

Alex Jones Mimes Shooting Robert Mueller, Facebook Very Chill About That

Yeah, We Know, It's Orwell. Wonkagenda For July 25, 2018

Putin Friend-Zones Trump

Kentucky Spending All Its Money Making Sure Nobody Gets Something For Free

Raise Your Hand If You Saw Trump's Latest Russian Propaganda Bullshit Coming From 10,000 Miles Away

Michael Cohen And Rudy Giuliani Working Overtime On Stupid Watergate

Right-Wing Media Can't Stop Making Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Look Awesome

HI. THEY STILL HAVEN'T GIVEN THE BABIES BACK. ATTENTION MUST THE FUCK BE PAID.

Coal CEO Don Blankenship Will Be A US Senator If It Kills Him. Or More Miners.

Jeff Sessions Had Hisself A Little Giggle-Snicker This Mornin', HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!

Half Naked GOP Bigot Yells N-Word On TV And It's All Your Fault

Black People, Please Run Away From The Stupid, Fake #WalkAway Campaign

We'll Say This For Paul Manafort, He Puts On A Hell Of A Show!

The Sky IS Falling, You Know!

Pay No Attention To The Dumbass Behind The Curtain Threatening To Revoke Everybody's Security Clearances

Infrastructure Week Strikes Back. Wonkagenda For Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Delusional Asshole Tim Ryan Thinks He'll Be President, So That's Stupid

Donald Trump's Making New York Suck

Jim Jordan Not Too Busy Protecting Sexual Predators To Lie About Carter Page FISA Warrant

Will Rand Paul Letter In Treason This Season?

Liz Warren, Kick Em In The Dick

Forbes Dick Talks Shit About Libraries, Is MURRRRDERED By Vicious Readers Of Books

Maybelle Can't Wait To Go To Heaven, Where All The Appliances Are Viking And Nobody Is Mexican

Sunday Rundown: Jake Tapper Literally Decapitates Carter Page

FBI Takes 412 Pages To Say Look At Carter Page, Dumb Fucking Idiot Spy LOL

Hillary Clinton Trying To Start War With Iran, Wait Our Bad We Meant Donald Trump

James Comey Sleeping On The Democrats' Couch, Has Thoughts On Color Of Guest Room

LOL This Fucking Guy. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 23, 2018

Tammy Baldwin's Running Against A Couple Of Jerk Republicans

Hero Server Bodyslams Ass-Grabbing Customer

The Week In Garbage Men: Disney Gets Trolled By Pizzagate Idiots, Fires James Gunn

Crying Nazi Pleads Guilty, Still Blames The JEEWWWZ

Anti-Choice Group Publicizes Addresses Of Abortion Doctors. What Could Go Wrong?

Your Weekly Top Ten Sure Did Enjoy Trump Treason Week!

It's The Watergate Break-In Except It's The Reporter Breaking In And Also It's Lies!

Dana Rohrabacher Smells Like Borscht

OW! Endangered Species, You're Hurting Big Oil's Fists With Your Faces!

OH NO HAXXORS

Paul Ryan Wishes Republicans Would Stop Being Nazis. Or Other Way Around.

Michael Cohen Secretly Taped His Trump Chats About Playboy Playmate Peener Pay-Offs, So That's Fun!

Sorry, You Have To Bear Witness For The Children Again

Facebook In Denial About Holocaust Deniers On Facebook

Dan Coats Probably Gonna Get Fired Now, For Being Smarter Than President Dipshit

Mitch McConnell Withdraws Judge Nom For Being TOO RACIST. Is That Even Allowed?

Rampaging Potheads Carve Backwards 'P' On Oklahoma Official's Forehead

Putin And Trump's Secret Deals Are For Putin To Know And Tell The Baby He Agreed To Later

Goooooooood Morning, Wonketariat!!! Wonkagenda For Fri., July 20, 2018

From Russia With Lube

Trump Guesses He Won't Send Michael McFaul To Putin's Gulag THIS TIME

Rand Paul Bernie Sanders Cage Match, GO

Oh, Republican Women Are Having A Hard Time These Days, Are They?

Didn't We Recently Tell Kirstjen Nielsen To Go Fuck Herself? WELL, IT'S TIME FOR THE REMIX!

Official WH Transcript Accidentally Does All The Colusion

Rachel Maddow, Stop Beheading The Trumps!

Trump Came At The Intel Community. He Missed. Was That Smart, Do You Think?

Meet Paul Erickson, Maria Butina's Middle-Aged, Balding, Debt-Ridden 'Boy Toy'

Vladimir Putin Can Have Michael McFaul Over America's Dead Fucking Body

Republicans Won't Fund Election Security Because It's Not Like Russia's Gonna Hack It For Democrats

NRA Lobbyist Can Dish Out Thousands Of Gun Deaths, Can't Take Very Rude Cusses

Blame The Black Guy. Wonkagenda For Thurs., July 19, 2018

Barack Obama's Here To Help Us Get Past These Hell Times

We Have Always Been At War With ... Montenegro???

Trump Admin Deletes All Medicine, Science, From Internet, Saves ONE MILLION DOLLARS

The Sarah Huckabee Sanders Lying Show Gon' Be GOOD Today, Y'all!

'Ted Nugent Concert' Only Acceptable Gun-Free Zone, According To Ted Nugent

The Top Five Reasons Russian Spy Maria Butina Needs To Park Her Honeypot (Her Vagina) IN JAIL

'Deep State' Continues Framing Totally Innocent, Non-Complicit In Sex Abuse Jim Jordan

Arizona GOP Guy Killed His Mom To Prove Good Guys Need Guns. And Then Things Got Weird.

Voting Machines Helpfully Had Same Thingamajig That Let You Remotely Control Your Old Dad's Puter

Chris Cillizza Knows Why Trump-Putin Summit Was Bad, And It's Here's Why!

Star Parker Been Watching ZooPorn Again

Paul Manafort To Be Visited By Five Spooooky Witnesses Of Christmas Past!

9 Out Of 10 Stable Geniuses Fuckin' LOVE IT When Trump Follows KGB Daddy's Orders!

I Got Your Apology RIGHT HERE! Wonkagenda For Wed., July 18, 2018

Please Don't Kidnap, Beat, Harass Or Stalk Us, Church Of Scientology!

President Words-Stupid Sorry For Being Total Fuck-Up Just This One Time Ever

Christian Lady Being A Dipshit Again

IRS Rules NRA Can Take Infinity Secret Jesus Dollars From Rich People. BLESSED!

'Fox & Friends' Sounded Like A Common Joe And Mika This Morning, Except Way More Dumber

MGM Suing Victims Of Las Vegas Massacre. Sounds About Right.

Do-Nothing Republicans Continue Doing Nothing About Traitor Trump

Putin: We Can Torture Them For You Wholesale

Tucker Carlson: Mexican Anchor Babies Are The Real Hackers

Sexy Redhead Russian Spy Gun Lady (No, The Other One) Maria Butina, YOU ARE IN JAIL!

Trump Deporting Reunified Families, Judge Rules 'The Hell You Say'

With Friends Like These. Wonkagenda For Tues., July 17, 2018

Even Fox News Can't Make Finland Trump-Shits Smell Like Roses :(

Republicans Love Their Russian Puppet President Trump

WHAT THE HOLY MOTHERFUCKING FUCK WAS THAT TRUMP-PUTIN PRESS CONFERENCE?

Elon Musk, Space Trash Cowboy

Hey, What's Up With Trump And This Wanktwat Tommy Robinson?

Trey Gowdy Almost To Trump-Russia Breaking Point. Almost.

Judge Rules Family Separation Causes Unconstitutional Trauma. You Don't Say.

Trump's Big Meeting With His KGB Handler Going Just GREAT

White Woman Looks So Sad She Got Caught Being 'Racially Charged'

Bought And Sold. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 16, 2018

Deleted Comments: We Gave God The Banhammer

We Owe Pennsylvania's Bob Casey Eternal Gratitude For Wiping Out Rick Santorum

Dickish Trump Is Even A Dick To That Nice Old Lady From 'The Crown'

Can We Talk About The Utter Sadness Of Breitbart's Melania Fashion Coverage?

Arizona State Rep. Can't Drive 55 Because MAGA Jesus Said So

Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology?

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Still Tired From Liveblogging Peter Strzok

Where In The World Is Michael Avenatti? He Is In London Having Tea With The Queen!

Feel Good Fridays: Would You Like Nice Feet For Summer? Not Like This Gross Foot, Which We Have A Picture Of

Michael Avenatti Crowdsources Justice, AND SO CAN YOU!

Rising Tax Cut Tide Lifts All Congressmen's Brand-New Money-Yachts

The Federalist All Up In Your Thai Cave, Which Is What The Kids Are Calling Your 'Gina. By A Doctor Of Rhetoric!

Cheerio, Donald Trump! Robert Mueller Just Indicted A Fuckton Of Russian Hackers!

Strzok Out With Your Cock Out: The 5 Best Moments From Yesterday's Peter Strzok Shitshow

Trump Gives 'Fake' Interview Where He Blames Lady For Ruining Brexit And The Muslim For Breaking London

Asshole DOJ Makes It Easier For Assholes To Help Assholes Make Their Own Asshole Guns

Deep State Won't Let Jared Kushner See The Really Good Secrets :*(

Lucky Man. Wonkagenda For Fri., July, 13, 2018

Republicans Know REAL Scandal: FBI Ignored Obama/Russia Collusion! That's The Ticket!

Lisa Page Does Not Have Time For This Bullshit

Stormy Daniels In The Pokey! No, The Hole! No, The Joint! Wait, She Is Out Of The Jug Now

'Social Justice' Writers Tell MTVNews Where To Stick It

Trump NATO WTF

Alfa Bank Lawyer Confirmed As Boss Of DOJ Crimes. SURE, WHY NOT?

ICE Knows What You Did Last Summer

'Hangry' John Kelly Expects A Lumberjack Breakfast When He Visits Your Sissy Country

Nice Grandma Helped Convict Her Fraudy Boss. Now ICE Wants Her To Die.

Peter Strzok Is A Fucking Badass. Let's Liveblog His All-Day Testimony!

Nobody Likes You, Donald Trump

Like A Very Stupid Bull In A NATO Shop. Wonkagenda For Thurs., July 12, 2018

Oh Great, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Gonna Steal Everybody Else's Congressional Districts Now

Trump's Personal Bible Lady Paula White Needs To Prayerfully STFU About Jesus

Judge Gives Paul Manafort Justice He RICHLY DESERVES

Papa John's Founder Would Like To Offer You Some Shitty Pizza With Extra Racist Toppings

Trump's Newest Health Plan Of 'Punch You In The Nuts' Is A Really Weird Health Plan

Our Secret Love Of Drinking Fetus Blood Has Been EXPOSED By 'Coach' Dave Daubenmire!

Sarah Palin So Mad Sacha Baron Cohen Made Her Look Like Big Dumbass For First Time Ever

Brett Kavanaugh Would Let Time Warner Edit The Internet AND THIS IS TERRIFIC SWITCH TO SPECTRUM TODAY!

Saintly Brett Kavanaugh Will Teach Basketball To All Your Forced-Birth Children

WE ARE NOT MONSTERS, Say President And Secretary Of The Taking Babies From Their Mamas Evil Monster Club

How Bad Is President Idiot-Fucks Idiot-Fucking NATO Today? REAL BAD, Y'ALL.

NATO, Our Darling Enemy. Wonkagenda For Wed., July 11, 2018

RAICES Offers Donald Trump Big Bucks To Let The Migrant Mamas Go

Megyn Kelly Being A Super Bitch-Face Again, This Time About Miss America. It's Weird.

How About Now, Jim Jordan? HOW ABOUT NOW?

Nancy Pelosi Will Crush Your Puny Male Mortals

Michael Flynn Forgot To Clear Himself, Sorry Conspiracy Cranks!

Trump Pardons Some Assholes

How Are Racist Cops Making America Lousier Today?

Ron Johnson Dumbest GOP Senator With Head Furthest Up Russia's Ass Again

GOOD NEWS! Half The Under-Five Babies Returned To Parents Today! BAD NEWS! Er, Uh, Whoops ...

Jim Jordan Defender Remembers the 1990s, When Everyone Was Very Chill About Sexual Abuse

Boris Johnson Votes Leave From Theresa May's Bloody Government

New York Times: 'Democracy Died While We Were Necking With Alan Dershowitz'

Meet This Dick For The Supreme Court

Meet Supreme Court Nominee FAAAAAAART. Wonkagenda For Tues., July 10, 2018

Come Back At Nine For Trump's Crappy Supreme Court Announcement, And Pooping On Thereof

Just A Defense Contractor Storing Migrant Kids In An Office Park. Is That Strange?

Laura Ingraham Building House Out Of Candy In The Woods

One Fish Two Fish Stephen Miller's Blue Fish

Rudy Giuliani Opened His Dumb Mouth Again. It Didn't Go Well.

North Korea Insulting Sec Of State Mike Pompeo Like A Common Wonkette

Border Patrol Nabs Dangerous Grandparents Trying To Invade Military Base, Visit Son-In-Law

Oh Hey, Trump! We Found The Collusion! It Was Right In Front Of Our Faces This Whole Time!

Please Stop Judging Racists For Saying Racist Things Publicly

Chris Christie, Giuliani & Dershowitz Hit Legal Stupid Trifecta

More Obamacare Sabotage, You Say? But How Can That Beeeeeee?

Trump Actually Hates Some Breasts!

Manafort Demands Jury Of White Yokels Without Newfangled 'Internet'

NEWS INCOMING. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 9, 2018

Chicago Protesters Close Major Highway. Sorry, Not Sorry.

Arizona US Senate Race Exactly As Wacko As You'd Expect

Just Look At This Asshole: Trump Official's Wife So Sad She Can't Use Racial Slurs

Jim Jordan Having Hard Time Pretending He Didn't Know Those Kids Got Molested

DOJ Lawyer Would Totally Help Reunite Families If She Didn't Have to Dogsit

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Exhausted Again, Please Send Money

Michael Avenatti Can Tortiously Interfere With Us Anytime, Wait What Are We Talking About?

Look At These Dumb 'Jeopardy' Stupidheads Who Can't Even Say Answers Right

'Denaturalization Task Force' Bad News, Even If It Does Deport Melanie

Two-Cluck Chuck

US Senate Hopeful Kelli Ward Runs Facebook Group For Racist Loons

Alan Dershowitz Knows What It Feels Like To Be Deported

How Sweet Of Dear Leader Trump To Make Kim Jong-Un A Mixtape!

Another Day, Another Batshit Rally With President Fuck-Bonkers

Stand For The Anthem, Deport The Troops

And Now, Scott Pruitt, Is When You GTFO

Jim Jordan Knows Who Molested Those Boys, And It Is The Deep State

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE CHILDREN.

Trump Finally Ends Racism Against White People

Nothing To See Here, Just A Violent Neo-Nazi With Security Clearance!

So Easy To Win Like You Wouldn't Believe. Wonkagenda For Fri., July 6, 2018

Scott Pruitt Gonna Need A Chick-Fil-A Job For HIMSELF, Because He Is Now Unemployed

Alex Jones Says Second Civil War Has Started But You're Too Stupid To Have Noticed

Patriotic Hollywood Banishes James Woods Because He's Gross

Rhode Island Democrats Are Fucking Weird

Arkansas Fixin' To Bone Lazy Poors Who Don't Live Online Like Common Bloggers

Troll Farms And Russian Bots Are 'Fixing' Google

Republican Senators Celebrate Old-Fashioned All-American 4th Of July In Moscow

A PSA About Abortion For All Of America, But Mostly For Susan Collins

White People Beware! There Might Be Black People Peeing Or Existing Nearby

Is Scott Pruitt Going To Quit Murdering The Environment To Go Murder The Russia Investigation?

Louie Gohmert Says DOJ Casting Surveillance On His Asparagus

Welcome To The News Dump. Wonkagenda For Thurs., July 5, 2018

What Are You Bringing To The 4th Of July Democrat Civil War Potluck?

Your Holiday Science Movie List, Bitches!

ICE Renames Migrant Parents 'Sophie,' Offers Them Yoogest, Greatest Choice

New York Times So Touchy About Reporter Who Was Touching Her Source

House GOP Russia Cover-Up Is Endangering People's Lives. Is That Bad?

Ron Paul Demands To Know Why All These Racists Keep Sucking His Dick

Ohio State Sports Doc Molested Thousands. Keep Rep. Jim Jordan OUT OF IT!

Nice Mom In Restaurant Non-Fracas Calmly Tells Scott Pruitt To GTFO

Paul Manafort And His Russian Spy Buddy Have Been Running Russian Spy Ops Together FOR-FUCKING-EVER

Alan Dershowitz Wishes Maxine Waters Would Stop Murdering Him At Martha's Vineyard

The GOP's Nazi Problem They're VERY MAD You're Talking About!

White House Mansplains 'Border' And 'Crime' To Kamala Harris, Who Might Possibly Have Heard Of Those Before

Tucson Militia Loon Will Smash Soros Child Sex Ring By Stealing Water Left For Migrants

Dutch Shoes And Dutch Ovens. Wonkagenda For Tues., July 3, 2018

TFW Devin Nunes Tries To Troll LeBron James But Just Ends Up Dunking On Himself

The Family That Scams Together ...

GOP Wants To Loot One More Tax Cut On Way Out The Door

​Should We Make Lynching Illegal, Or Nah?

South Carolina Cops Have Thoughts On Your High School Reading List

NEWSMAX SIRENS: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Rides Gold-Plated Horse To Bon Bon Store, To Buy All The Bon Bons!

Dear Police, Minorities Are Playing Dominoes In Harlem!! Halp Me!

Scott Pruitt Sexted Big Oil. There Was So Much Lube.

And They Called It THE FART ACT

Michael Cohen Has Chosen To Stay And Fuck Trump The Fuck Up

Oh Yay Susan Collins Is The Most Important Person On Earth Again As Usual

Supreme Court Wars: The Democrats Strike Back Sort Of

A Foul Wind Blows. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 2, 2018

Deleted Comments: Donald Trump Gave Up Everything To Save Us. Why Aren't You Grateful?

Grab Some Kleenex And Let's Watch These Speeches From The Families Belong Together Rally

Idiot President Fooled By Prank Phone Call That Wasn't Even Very Good.

Families DO Belong Together! A Wonkette Protest Liveblog!

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Like HOLY FUCK HOW DID WE SURVIVE THIS WEEK?

Hey Donald Trump Is Your Refrigerator Running? BETTER GO CATCH IT LOLOLOLOLOL!

Trump Selling America's Foreign Policy To The Highest Bidder? THE FUCK YOU SAY!

*CLICK*

Senate Actually Thinking About The Children. AND EVEN THE MOMS!

Sean Hannity Exposes Maxine Waters As Murderer She Is

GOOD PEOPLE OF THE WORLD! PUT ON YOUR MARCHING SHOES!

The First Rule Of Used Trump Jizz Mattress Is You Don't Talk About Used Trump Jizz Mattress

Hey, Have You Guys Ever Wondered If Maybe Putin Owns Trump's Ass?

'Abolish ICE!' -- Kirsten Gillibrand, And, Er ... ICE!

How Dare You Blame People Calling For Murder Of Journalists For Murder Of Journalists?

America Offers Kids Separated From Parents Free Crash Course in Legalogy

Look At This Scary Communist!

Let's Not Get Too Hysterical About It, But THERE ARE LITERAL NAZIS AT DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY

That Thing Where A Pimp Accused Of Rape Is A GOP Nominee

The 154th Mass Shooting. Wonkagenda For Fri., June 29, 2018

Rod Rosenstein Cannot Even Handle How Stupid Louie Gohmert Is Right Now

Two Tweets

All These Russian Dudes Who Were At Trump's 'Nauguration, For The Supreme Court!

Another Head Rolls In Equifax Breach

Trump's Mouth Teeth Falling Out Of His Shit Face Again

GOP Bad At Everything, News At Right Now

Rod Rosenstein Ready To Subpoena His Foot Up Jim Jordan's Ass

*CLICK*

House Republicans Demand FBI Agent Peter Strzok Tell Them What It's Like To Text A Real Girl

Trump Is Bored With 'Civil' Chuck And Nancy, Just Wants To Tussle With Maxine Waters

ICE Thug Breaks A Lawyer's Foot; Kamala Harris Wants To Break Foot Off In ICE's Ass

Flaccid Clown Continues To Shriek. Wonkagenda For Thurs., June 28, 2018

Liveblogging Ourselves Getting Drunk For The Next Eight Hours Because OH MY FUCKING GOD HOLY SHIT

Racist Mayor Wants To Bring Back 'The Hoses', Alabama-Style. So Today's Got That Too

The 5 Stupidest Things Chuck Todd Has Tweeted Since Kennedy's Retirement Announcement

Oklahoma OK('s Medical Marijuana, And Chuck Schumer's Stopped Being A Dick About It Too)

GO FUCK YOURSELF, ANTHONY KENNEDY

Secret Service To Protect Sarah Huckabee Sanders From Drowning In Her Own Horseshit

Victory For Scabs: Supreme Court Murders Unions

AP Can't Say Her Name But Wonkette Can: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez!

Very Special Judge Tells Paul Manafort And Giuliani To GTFOH

Please Tip Your Waitress And Enjoy The Comedy Stylings of Child Abductor Jeff Sessions

Judge Says Immigrant Kids Must Be Reunited ASAP. Whose Scared Lonely Tears Will Trump Drink Now?

This Is Just A Really Mediocre Russian Music Video About Trump's Pee Tape

Jeff Sessions Got Some Jokes! Wonkagenda For Wed., June 27, 2018

Your Summer Science Reading List, Bitches

Let's Take A Fun Look Back At Dumb Things People Said About Trump

Forget What Your Mom Told You -- CRIME PAYS

We'd Say Chris Cillizza Should Go Fuck Himself, But That Wouldn't Be Very Civil

Oh, Paul Ryan Would Like An Apology From Maxine Waters, Would He?

Supreme Court Sends Us To A Fake Abortion Clinic Without Even A Kiss

Republicans To Cut School Safety And Mental Health, Give More Money To Capitol Cops

Trumps Holds Very Civil Tea And No-Sympathy Rally In South Carolina

Alex Jones Being SUPER-FUCKIN'-CREEPY About The Red Hen

White Lady Shows How To Be Civil Like Trump And Steve King

Trump Knows Who To Blame For Trade War With China, It Is Harley-Davidson

GET OUT. Wonkagenda For Tues., June 26, 2018

Let's Liveblog Sarah Huckabee Sanders Bellyaching About Her Free Cheese Plate Like A Total Dick

Walgreens Pharmacist Humiliated Woman For Having Miscarriage, So That's Christian

Well, This Is Evil

Robert Mueller Is Reading Erik Prince's Obamaphone Sexts RIGHT NOW

Supreme Court Applauds Texas Lege's Ability To Murder Voting Rights Without Using The Word 'BLACK'

Fox News Apologizes For Adorable, Quaint, Old-Timey Racism. So That Is Surprising, Right?

Special Counsel Investigating Scott Pruitt Because It's Just Another Monday

Whaaaat? Devin Nunes Obstructing The Russia Investigation Again? THE FUCK YOU SAY!

Whole Bunch Of Fuckheads Crying About Mean Liberals Being 'Uncivil' To Bloodthirsty Monsters

Donald Trump Will Solve Immigration Crisis By Getting Rid Of Pesky Constitution

Glenn Beck Loudly SELF-DEPORTS (From Brian Stelter's Sunday Show)

Dirty On The Inside. Wonkagenda For Mon., June 25, 2018

Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going To Take It Anymore.

Local Pot Dealer (The Nice White Kind) Calls The Cops On Black Girl Selling Water

The Week In Garbage Men: Douchebag Offers Lessons In Not Being A 'Cuck.'

Rachel Campos Duffy's Black Friend From The 'Projects' Totally Exists

Proud Boy Idiot Thinks Kiddie Detention Camps Would Be 'A Fun Place To Hang'

Hero Restaurant Gives Sarah Huckabee Sanders The Boot

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Ready To FIGHT

Shocker: Michael Cohen Approved National Enquirer's Trump Stories With Help Of Bigfoot!

'Roseanne' Returns Without Roseanne But Just As Unfunny

'The Federalist' Has Deep Thoughts On Murdering Liberals. By A Doctor Of Rhetoric

Trump Will Never Love You Or Your Immigration Bills, Paul Ryan You Sad Weak Poop

Trump Admin Has No Idea Whose Kids Are Where. Hell, At Least The Nazis Kept Records

Bring Li'l Adolf And Eva On Down To Charlottesville Reunion Rally And Jamboree!

Politico Goes On Coitus Safari, Finds Millennial Trump Staffers Living In 'Fuck Deserts'

'Fox & Friends': Caged Kids Aren't Even From Idaho, So What's The Big Deal?

ACLU: We've Been Beating The Shit Out Of Unaccompanied Minors For Years

The 346,787 Funniest Times Donald Trump Jr. Was A Loser Whose Dad Doesn't Love Him

Come On, Michael Cohen. We All Know Where This Is Going.

Sad Trombones For Corey Lewandowski

'Stop Wasting Their Time On Immigration.' Wonkagenda For Fri., June 22, 2018

Adorable Gorilla Koko Signs Off

Donald Trump Holds Another Perfectly Sane TV Cabinet Meeting

Gjo Fjuck Yoursjelf, Kirstjen Nielsen

Melania, 'I Really Don't Care' Jacket Is NOT A Good Look

Airlines Invite DHS Spox Tyler Houlton To Fly The Friendly GO FUCK YOURSELF

Burger King Reconsiders Plan To Tell Russian Ladies To Get Knocked Up By Soccer Players

Fetch Smelling Salts For The New York Times! By A Doctor Of Rhetoric

Patriotic Senators To Celebrate July 4th At Kremlin, As Jesus And Founders Intended

Did We Mention Trump's Immigration Executive Order Is A Giant Piece Of Shit? Because It Is.

Trump Caps Very Busy Hostage Day With Minnesota Liarpalooza

Trump To Move Your Food Stamps, Student Loans To New 'Department Of Lazy Takers'

Is Baby Gonna Cry? Wonkagenda For Thurs., June 21, 2018

Ann Coulter's America Will Die if Baby Jails Go Away, So That's Something!

Michael Cohen Slams Baby Jails On His Way To Grownup Jail

Benevolent Trump Will Fix Crisis He Created By Sending Babies To Real Jail, With Mommy!

Ryan Zinke's Charity Begins At Home. His Home. Sweet Charity!

Dry Your Tears, It's Polling Funtimes!

Why Are You Peeing On Yourself, Donald Trump Jr.? (ALLEGEDLY!)

Oh Shit, Merica's Out Of Money! Paul Ryan BE BEST Slash Medicare Now!

Baby Jails? Goddamn Motherfucking BABY JAILS?

Canada To Smuggle Their Shoes Up Trump's Ass

Corey Lewandowski Thinks Scared Disabled Lone Girl-Child Is HILARIOUS. Don't You?

Kirstjen Nielsen Denied Tacos Forever

Baby-Raping Cop Blackmailed Undocumented Mom. So, Good Morning!

WOMP WOMP. Wonkagenda For Wed., June 20, 2018

Let's Get Out And Make Some Noise!

Rudy Giuliani Full Of Shit, According To Noted Legal Scholar Rudy Giuliani

America Is The Wire Mother

Media Loathed Hillary So Much They Forgot She Was Running Against Donald Trump

State Dept 'Summer Family Travel' Livechat Is NEXT-LEVEL Fuckup. Surprise!

Laura Ingraham And Tucker Carlson Hold Each Other's Beers For 'Biggest Nazi' Contest

Judge Schools Kris Kobach. Literally, Like Rodney Dangerfield And Shit

Reporters Ask Kirstjen Nielsen 'Where Are The Girls?' 'Fuck You,' She Explains

Stop! Or My Congressperson Will Shoot!

Paul Ryan Scared He Won't Get To Starve Poor (More) Before He Retires

Hillary Clinton Warned Us About This. Now She's Saying It Again.

Secretaries, Teachers Guarding Violent Felons In Federal Prisons. That Should Save Money!

LinOut Test with Poppies

'We Will Not Apologize.' Wonkagenda For Tues., June 19, 2018

Yes, Trump Is Stealing Children. But You Can DO Something.

Alan Dershowitz, A Schmuck

Is President Space Force Having A Space Stroke?

Remember Elian Gonzalez?

Feckless SCOTUS Punts

Can We Please Get A Damn Michael Cohen Perp Walk Up In Here?

'Trump Isn't Separating Families, Families Are Separating Families,' And Other ICE And DHS Lies

Please Do Not Hurt The Feelings Of The People Putting Children In Cages

Sup New Mexico? Are You Even A State?

What Can Brown Do For You? It's SCIENCE!

Radicalized New York FBI Sleeper Cell Leaking Up Devin Nunes's Ass Too

Your Sunday Show Caged Heat We Mean Kids Roundup

Republicans Lying About Caged Kids. Wonkagenda For Mon., June 18, 2018

Happy Father's Day, Roger Stone! YOU ARE THE COLLUSION!

What Are Texans Doing For Father's Day? Marching To Get Migrant Kids Back To Their Families.

Tim Kaine: Senator Of Dad Jokes

The Week In Garbage Men: Tory MPs Fight For 'Upskirt' Photographer Rights

Trump Declares His Supporters The Smartestest, Dreamiest Of All

Florida Man Tries To Salvage Terrible Week, Asks Cops To Test His Meth For Contamination

GOP Candidate Dennis Hof Wants To Make Pimping Great Again

Your Weekly Ten Is Celebrating Paul Manafort's First Morning In Jail

Trump's 500 Days Of Bummer

The 987,386 Most Fucked Up Lies Our Shithead President Told This Morning

Donald Trump Pitches Tent As Government Erects First Kinder-Camp

Trump Campaign Head Needs To Keep Clinton Foundation's Name Out Of His Dirty, Slushy Mouth

Hey Paul Manafort, GO TO JAIL MOTHERFUCKER!

Donald Trump Won't Sign Terrible GOP Immigration Bill Of His Filthy Hateful Dreams

Awwwww Rudy Giuliani, YOU FUCKING SCARED?

Caged Kids Aren't Even IN Sarah Huckabee Sanders's Prosperity Bible, So Why Would $$$ Jesus Even Care?

BREAKING: The FBI Totally Screwed Hillary Clinton. Wait, You Knew That Already?

'Why Can't I Just Do It?' Wonkagenda For Fri., June 15, 2018

Trump Foundation Fuckery? WHO KNEW!

Things Paul Ryan Also Does Not Know

Let's Take A Peek Inside That Migrant ​Kiddie Jail In The Old Walmart!

Glenn Greenwald Wishes Media Would Talk About DOJ IG Report Media Won't Fucking Shut Up About

Candace Owens: What's Her Stupid Deal Again?

Rudy Giuliani Takes Break From Womanizing To Vouch For Trump's Unimpeachable Credibility

Even Republicans Want To Shitcan Scott Pruitt. Eventually. Maybe. Next Year?

Trump's GOP Isn't A Cult: It's A Haunted House We Need To Leave Right Away

Is Sarah Huckabee Sanders About To Say 'Hucka-BYE, FELICIA'?

Great American Artist Jon McNaughton Being Accidental Nazi, Again

Rand Paul, Bad Fuckin' Neighbor

He'll Cry If He Wants To. Wonkagenda For Thurs., June 14, 2018

A Mommyblog, A Dating Site, And A FUCKING COMMUNITY

What The Fuck Is Going On With Michael Cohen?

More Bullshit From FUCKING DEVIN NUNES!

How Is The Trump Administration Stalking New York Times Reporters Today?

Trump So Happy The Nazi Won Virginia's GOP Senate Primary

GOP Donor Gives Scott Pruitt's Lazy Wife A JERB! Yay Scott Pruitt's Lazy Wife!

And Speaking Of Whores ...

Who's Got A Lawyer? NOT MICHAEL COHEN LOL!

Government Might Send Migrant Kids To Camps, To Help Them Concentrate

So, How Bad Did Trump Fuck This North Korea Thing Up? Oh, ALL OF THEM, KATIE!

Stupid Jailbird Michael Grimm Debating GOP Incumbent Is Best/Stupidest Thing You'll See This Morning

'He's Got The Whole World In His Hands.' Wonkagenda For Wed., June 13, 2018

WE'RE NOT CRYING, DENNIS RODMAN IS CRYING

Mike Pence Condemns Mike Pence For Saying Thing Mike Pence Definitely Did Not Say

Michigan Republicans To Ratfuck Social Studies Class

Supreme Court Totally Cool With States Purging Brown Voters 'By Accident'

Is Rudy Giuliani Hiding His Porn Boobie Magazines From Michael Avenatti?

No Asylum For Migrants Fleeing Domestic Violence Or Gangs, Because We're Literally In Hell Now

This Trump-Russia-NRA Shit Just Got A Whole Lot Weirder

Ivanka And Jared Made $82 Million Last Year, Just Like All Public Servants Do

Trump Announces 'Peace In Our Time,' Will Let North Korea Annex Sudetenland

'Scientifically' It's A Big Deal. Wonkagenda For Tues., June 12, 2018

Florida Skipped Background Checks For Concealed Gun Permits For A Year. Is That Bad?

Paul Manafort Probably Going To Jail Friday, So HAHAHAHAHAHA

Man In Dumb Hat Thinks He's Gonna 'Shame' All The Gays, Abortion-Havers And Muslims

Here’s Your ICE Horror Show Roundup, Also, God Damn America

Oh, Just Donald Trump Destroying Government Records. NBD.

Trump So Prepared You Guys, Really Just The Most Prepared

How Is Trump Destroying Decades Of Western Peace And Prosperity Today?

This Is New And Scary

Hey Some Shit Is Different! Wonkagenda For Mon., June 11, 2018

Oh, look, it's the white nationalist debating society. How we do fear their mighty logic.

Deleted Comments: You Dumb Libs Mocked A Nazi, So Now Segregation's Back Forever

Maybe if the Rs could just find more than one joke to make about her. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Elizabeth Warren Just Might Have A Shot At Reelection

The Week In Garbage Men: Asshole Teacher Decides To Resign Rather Than Call Trans Students By Their Names

The Week In Garbage Men: Asshole Teacher Decides To Resign Rather Than Call Trans Students By Their Names

Always asking for handouts...

Roger Stone's Grandkid Wants YOU To Help Pay His Granddaddy's Legal Bills

Trump Idiots Know What Is To Blame For Recent Celebrity Suicides — Political Correctness!

Trump Idiots Know What Is To Blame For Recent Celebrity Suicides -- Political Correctness!

Yo, fellow kids! Kellyanne Conway wants to rap some alternative thoughts on opioids.

Kellyanne Conway Says Drugs Are Bad, Mmmkay?

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Almost THREE YEARS OLD!

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Almost THREE YEARS OLD!

Jeanine Pirro wants to replace Jeff Sessions after she uses her FOX News show to get him fired.

Democrats Launch Bill To Stop Family Separation, Goddamn It

Testy as a potty training toddler, Trump took to the teevee cameras to jumpstart his daily jeremiad about the importance of Putin while he was on his way to the G7.

Jeanine Pirro Making Us Take Jeff Sessions's Side In A Fight Again, DAMMIT!

Please, Keith Davidson, Tell Us More About How Michael Avenatti Has BESMIRCHED YOUR HONOR!

Trump Finds One Weird Trick To Shed 40,000 Excess Americans A Year, Without Any Exercise!

Democrats Launch Bill To Stop Family Separation, Goddamn It

HEY-O, IT’S MUELLER TIME! Starring Paul Manafort! Again! LOL!

HEY-O, IT'S MUELLER TIME! Starring Paul Manafort! Again! LOL!

Anthony Bourdain, world-traveling chef, leaves behind a life lived well and honestly.

Wallflower Trump So Sad Prince Putin Can't Escort Him To The G7 Ball

Please, Keith Davidson, Tell Us More About How Michael Avenatti Has BESMIRCHED YOUR HONOR!

Trump Finds One Weird Trick To Shed 40,000 Excess Americans A Year, Without Any Exercise!

Anthony Bourdain Made Us Appreciate A Lot More Than Just Food. But The Food Was A Pretty Big Deal.

We’re Sure Trump DOJ Had Really Good Reason For Spying On New York Times Reporter, YOU BETCHA!

We're Sure Trump DOJ Had Really Good Reason For Spying On New York Times Reporter, YOU BETCHA!

Townhall Columnist proposes Conservative Saturday Night Live, replete with timely skits about the 2016 election. LIVE FROM OMAHA!

Wingnut 'Saturday Night Live' Is Stupidest/Most Hilarious Idea We've Heard All Week!

How To Moisturize Better Than Scott Pruitt, Without Assistance From Your Security Detail

How To Moisturize Better Than Scott Pruitt, Without Assistance From Your Security Detail

Elizabeth Warren, Cory Gardner Want Bong Hits 4 America. Whoa, Bipartisanship!

Elizabeth Warren, Cory Gardner Want Bong Hits 4 America. Whoa, Bipartisanship!

'We'll See What Happens.' Wonkagenda For Friday, June 8, 2018

Oh Great, Now Scott Pruitt Will Never Get That Fancy Lube He Likes!

Arizona Court Orders Gay Haters To Draw Dicks All Day

Internet Assholes Shocked To Discover They Can’t Troll The Courts

Oh Great, Now Scott Pruitt Will Never Get That Fancy Lube He Likes!

Arizona Court Orders Gay Haters To Draw Dicks All Day

Tennessee Bigot Re-Bans Gays From His Shitty Hardware Store, Because FREEDOM!

Internet Assholes Shocked To Discover They Can't Troll The Courts

Tennessee Bigot Re-Bans Gays From His Shitty Hardware Store, Because FREEDOM!

Trump Prepares America For Hurricane Season By Bragging About Poll Numbers, Bitching About Magnets

Trump Prepares America For Hurricane Season By Bragging About Poll Numbers, Bitching About Magnets

Gun Lover Kaitlin Bennett challenges Gun Grabber David Hogg to an arm wrestling match because there's not enough stupid these days.

Gun-Lovin' Idiot Challenges David Hogg To Good Old-Fashioned ARM RASSLIN' MATCH!

Just when you thought Sean Hannity couldn't debase himself further.

Sean Hannity Says Mueller Witnesses Should Destroy Evidence, Because HILLARY BLEACHED EMAILS BENGHAZI!!1!!!!!1!

How Is Jeff Sessions Writing ‘WHITES ONLY’ On The Constitution Today?

How Is Jeff Sessions Writing 'WHITES ONLY' On The Constitution Today?

Scott Pruitt Doesn’t Need You Guys. All He Needs Is This $43,000 Phone Booth And ‘CHOCOLATE FREEDOM’!

Scott Pruitt Doesn't Need You Guys. All He Needs Is This $43,000 Phone Booth And 'CHOCOLATE FREEDOM'!

Muslim-Hating Trump Twitter Bot Is Real Live Asshole, Turns Out

Muslim-Hating Trump Twitter Bot Is Real Live Asshole, Turns Out

The lies start at the top, and trickle all the way down.

Trump FCC Breaks Internet, Blames It On Dog

Trump Praises FEMA's Work In Puerto Rico. Wonkagenda For Thurs., June 7, 2018.

Michael Avenatti Is Back! Did You Miss Him?

Michael Avenatti Is Back! Did You Miss Him?

Rudy Giuliani Just Admitted To Public Corruption, And That Wasn’t The Crazy Part

Why Did Hillary And George Soros Put Child Sex Ring In Homeless Camp? GATEWAY PUNDIT KNOWS!

South Dakota Dickhole Sorry He Forgot Segregation Was Bad

Rudy Giuliani Just Admitted To Public Corruption, And That Wasn't The Crazy Part

South Dakota Dickhole Sorry He Forgot Segregation Was Bad

All The Election News You Need To Know! Plus Montana.

Kellyanne Conway Moves Trump-Russia Goalpost To Over There, Where Ivanka Isn’t!

Kellyanne Conway Moves Trump-Russia Goalpost To Over There, Where Ivanka Isn't!

All The Election News You Need To Know! Plus Montana.

Sen. Jeff Merkley Wanted To See The Immigrant Kids, So White House Says That He Loves Rape

Sen. Jeff Merkley Wanted To See The Immigrant Kids, So White House Says That He Loves Rape

‘Oconus Lures’, Straight From Conspiracy Reddit To Grandpa President’s Jitterbug Phone!

'Oconus Lures', Straight From Conspiracy Reddit To Grandpa President's Jitterbug Phone!

Donald Trump celebrates America the only way he knows how -- by celebrating himself.

California avoids election catastrophes, Trump forgets the words to songs (again), and Betsy DeVos uses the Chewbacca Defense on school shootings. Your morning news brief.

O Hey Can You Be By The Donzer Lee Kite? Wonkagenda For Wed., June 6, 2018

Are You Ready For Some CALIFORNIA PRIMARIES? (Yeah, And Those Other States, Too)

Are You Ready For Some CALIFORNIA PRIMARIES? (Yeah, And Those Other States, Too)

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Says She Is Honest Person, So There’s Another Lie For Ya

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Says She Is Honest Person, So There's Another Lie For Ya

Dickhole Saves Second Amendment By Calling SWAT Team To David Hogg’s Home

Dickhole Saves Second Amendment By Calling SWAT Team To David Hogg's Home

How The Hell Is Scott Pruitt Abusing His Office Today? HINT: It Involves EATING MOR CHIKIN’

How The Hell Is Scott Pruitt Abusing His Office Today? HINT: It Involves EATING MOR CHIKIN'

Sean Hannity helps everyone understand that the president can do pretty much whatever he wants.

Let’s Swim In The Tears Of Men Mourning The Loss Of The Miss America Swimsuit Contest!

Welcome To Mr. Hannity's Neighborhood, Where Trump Has Absolute Power And That's JUST GREAT

Judge Tells Maine Gov. Paul LePage To Expand Medicaid Or GTFO

Let's Swim In The Tears Of Men Mourning The Loss Of The Miss America Swimsuit Contest!

Judge Tells Maine Gov. Paul LePage To Expand Medicaid Or GTFO

Pardons For Everyone, Including The President! (Offer May Not Be Valid In Your America)

Pardons For Everyone, Including The President! (Offer May Not Be Valid In Your America)

None Of Michael Cohen’s Shit Actually Privileged, Even Though He’s DEFINITELY A REAL LAWYER

None Of Michael Cohen's Shit Actually Privileged, Even Though He's DEFINITELY A REAL LAWYER

Eagles fans won't even have a chance to riot at the White House now :(

No Disloyal Eagle-Men Will Taint Donald Trump's America First Super Bowl Celebration!

Is Paul Manafort Stupidly Desperate Or Desperately Stupid? OR IS IT BOTH?

Is Paul Manafort Stupidly Desperate Or Desperately Stupid? OR IS IT BOTH?

Facebook is likely selling something personal about you as you read this.

Facebook Stole Your Shit, And Your Friends' Shit, Again

Somebody's Going To Emergency, Manafort's Going To Jail. Wonkagenda For Tues., June 5, 2018

Conservative Stanford Professor Had Great Reason To Ratfuck Undergrad: Free Speech!

Woody Allen's claim that he's #MeToo 'poster boy' is worse than his last half dozen movies.

Who Will Rid Us Of This Meddlesome Clenis?

Conservative Stanford Professor Had Great Reason To Ratfuck Undergrad: Free Speech!

Woody Allen Accidentally Says True Thing About #MeToo

Scott Pruitt Is NASTY

Who Will Rid Us Of This Meddlesome Clenis?

At Least Cops Didn’t Shoot Sen. Jeff Merkley For Demanding To See Immigrant Kids Stored In Walmart

Gay-Hatin’ Cake Nazi Wins At SCOTUS, But Religious Right Shouldn’t Blow Its Wad Just Yet

Scott Pruitt Is NASTY

Trump's lawyers say the quiet part out loud AGAIN.

At Least Cops Didn't Shoot Sen. Jeff Merkley For Demanding To See Immigrant Kids Stored In Walmart

Trump Cures Cancer, Trump Is Pretty Sure

Gay-Hatin' Cake Nazi Wins At SCOTUS, But Religious Right Shouldn't Blow Its Wad Just Yet

Melania Trump makes first public appearance in weeks at a Fake Memorial Day event.

Trump Lawyers Pretty Sure Robert Mueller Interviews Are VERY ILLEGAL. Sure, Why Not!

Trump Cures Cancer, Trump Is Pretty Sure

Kris Kobach Wants You To Suck On His Fake Machine Gun

Will The Real First Lady Please Show Up?

Kris Kobach Wants You To Suck On His Fake Machine Gun

Rudy Giuliani: If The President Does It, It’s Not Murder

Rudy Giuliani: If The President Does It, It's Not Murder

Giuliani murders words, Santorum murders decency, and Kevin McCarthy does whatever it is he does. Your Sunday show roundup!

Giuliani Gets Santorum On Kevin McCarthy. Your Sunday Show FUCKIN' MADNESS

Day 500. Wonkagenda For Mon., June 4, 2018

Rep. Rod Blum doesn't is the most vulnerable House member, just don't ask where he gets his money.

Democrats Hope To Wash Away Corporate Sleazebag In Iowa's 1st.

Patriot Kidnaps Latino Family To Make His Yard Great Again

Patriot Kidnaps Latino Family To Make His Yard Great Again

Or maybe there's some UFO kook California could elect. It's an odd year.

Dianne Feinstein Heading For Reelection, But At Least There's A Neo-Nazi To Make Primary Interesting

Racist Families That Vacation Together, Do Hate Crimes Together…

Racist Families That Vacation Together, Do Hate Crimes Together...

And also this is your OPEN THREAD!

This Incel Dating Website Is Fake, Right? Please Tell Us It Is Fake.

Black Lives Are Worth $4 In Florida, And Nobody Is Surprised

Black Lives Are Worth $4 In Florida, And Nobody Is Surprised

The Week In Garbage Men: Richard Nixon Maybe Not Just A Crook, But Also A Wife Beater

The Week In Garbage Men: Richard Nixon Maybe Not Just A Crook, But Also A Wife Beater

Chuck C. Johnson Has To Pay $25K To Guy He Falsely Accused of Murdering Heather Heyer

Chuck C. Johnson Has To Pay $25K To Guy He Falsely Accused of Murdering Heather Heyer

Your Weekly Top Ten Thinks Last Week Was Pretty Darn Shitty

Your Weekly Top Ten Thinks Last Week Was Pretty Darn Shitty

Let’s Ogle Spain’s Hot New Prime Minister And Break Down Weeping With Jealousy!

Trump Will Order Americans To Burn More Coal, To Whip The Kaiser!

Let's Ogle Spain's Hot New Prime Minister And Break Down Weeping With Jealousy!

GOP Congressman Knows What Ladies Care Most About, And It Is Weight Loss And Gardening

Trump Will Order Americans To Burn More Coal, To Whip The Kaiser!

Throw yourself off a balcony, Michael Grimm.

GOP Congressman Knows What Ladies Care Most About, And It Is Weight Loss And Gardening

Prosecutors Relying On James O’Keefe Vids Shit Bed Again Because They Relied On James O’Keefe Vids

Michael Cohen Yelling At Daily Beast Reporter Like BIG TOUGH GUY Is Funniest Shit We’ve Heard All Week

Donald Trump Looooooves The Establishment, Haaaaates Those Felon Loser Tea Party Trump Guys

Rest Of World To Shove Our Tariffs Up Our Ass, So That Sounds Sexy Goodtimes Fun!

Prosecutors Relying On James O'Keefe Vids Shit Bed Again Because They Relied On James O'Keefe Vids

Arkansas’s Bad Abortion Law Already Screwing With People’s Reproductive Rights

Michael Cohen Yelling At Daily Beast Reporter Like BIG TOUGH GUY Is Funniest Shit We've Heard All Week

Rest Of World To Shove Our Tariffs Up Our Ass, So That Sounds Sexy Goodtimes Fun!

The Tovala Smart Oven will help you brilliantly save time and waste even more money.

Who Is Robert Mueller Investigating Today? Oh, Just Jared’s Hedge-Fund Bestie!

Arkansas's Bad Abortion Law Already Screwing With People's Reproductive Rights

Fox News brings a water cannon to a mass shooting and gets all wet.

Introducing Tovala: The 'Keurig For Food' And Oven For Idiots

Who Is Robert Mueller Investigating Today? Oh, Just Jared's Hedge-Fund Bestie!

Fox News Solves School Shootings Forever: Just Shoot A Cannon At The Walls, For The Kids

Don’t Worry Folks, Calling A Black Man A _____ After You Kill Him Is Not A Crime

Don't Worry Folks, Calling A Black Man A _____ After You Kill Him Is Not A Crime

Donald Trump *Might Not* Be The Master Of One-Dimensional Chess He Seems!

Donald Trump *Might Not* Be The Master Of One-Dimensional Chess He Seems!

We Got Us A TRADE WAR! Wonkagenda For Fri., June 1, 2018

This Incel-Forum-Owning, Pro-Rape VA Congressional Candidate Got Kicked The Hell Off The Internet

Sarah Huckabee Sanders reassures young boy that the Trump administration is tackling gun violence. Take heart, children! And cover!

Samantha Bee Sorry For Thinking First Amendment Somehow Applies To Her. Her Mistake, Obviously!

Samantha Bee Sorry For Thinking First Amendment Somehow Applies To Her. Her Mistake, Obviously!

Donald Trump Poor Again

Donald Trump Full Of Shit: A Jeff Sessions Shitsplainer!

This Incel-Forum-Owning, Pro-Rape VA Congressional Candidate Got Kicked The Hell Off The Internet

Dinesh D’Souza Might Be Pardoned, But He’s Still Invited To Go Fuck Himself

Let's Join Sarah Huckabee Sanders In Round Of Salty Tears As We Mutually Agree To Do Nothing About Kids Murdered At School

Donald Trump Poor Again

Take a fuckin' seat, Ivanka Trump.

Trump To Meet Grieving Texas Parents, Have A Little Fun, Maybe Take Them To An Arcade Or Water Park

Donald Trump Full Of Shit: A Jeff Sessions Shitsplainer!

How Fun Would It Be If We Made Trump Sign The ERA???

Dinesh D'Souza Might Be Pardoned, But He's Still Invited To Go Fuck Himself

Jill Stein raised more for her baseless 'recount' (by, like, double) than she did for her equally baseless campaign.

Oh, Did Sam Bee Hurt Your Virgin Ears?

Trump To Meet Grieving Texas Parents, Have A Little Fun, Maybe Take Them To An Arcade Or Water Park

How Fun Would It Be If We Made Trump Sign The ERA???

Oh Look, President Shitmouth Is Lying About James Comey Again

Jill Stein Robbed You Suckers Blind

Virginia Gonna Finally Let Poor People See Doctors. Tell Us Again How Voting Doesn’t Matter?

Oh Look, President Shitmouth Is Lying About James Comey Again

Virginia Gonna Finally Let Poor People See Doctors. Tell Us Again How Voting Doesn't Matter?

New Hampshire Finds MASSIVE WAVE Of Like 5 People Might’ve Voted Illegally

New Hampshire Finds MASSIVE WAVE Of Like 5 People Might've Voted Illegally

Hi Can You Stop Shooting Us Pls. Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 31, 2018

Roseanne fans and Donald Trump want a liberal scalp, but they'll settle for libertarian we guess.

Move Over Donkey-Riding Jesus, This Pastor Needs A Falcon 7-X To Preach The Good News!

Please No! (Yes, Please) Don't Take Bill Maher! (Kindly Carry Him Out Through The Back Entrance)

Conservatives, once again, are bad at art.

Move Over Donkey-Riding Jesus, This Pastor Needs A Falcon 7-X To Preach The Good News!

Can Michael Avenatti Keep His Big, Purty, California Mouth Shut? Helllll No!

The 'Alt-Right' Has New Theme Song, And It Is Everything You Want It To Be!

Can Michael Avenatti Keep His Big, Purty, California Mouth Shut? Helllll No!

We watched Donald Trump's Nashville slobber jamboree so you won't have to.

Donald Trump Made Up Exciting New Insane Shit To Lie About In Nashville Rally!

We're sure Donald Trump won't say anything balls-out racist or about Kardashian's ass.

Kim Kardashian, Jared Kushner Team Up To Make Useless Appeal To Trump's Nonexistent Humanity

Eric Greitens Is 50 Shades Of Unemployed

Eric Greitens Is 50 Shades Of Unemployed

Jeff Sessions Would Do Anything For Trump’s Love, But He Won’t Do THAT

Jeff Sessions Would Do Anything For Trump's Love, But He Won't Do THAT

Donald Trump Doesn’t Care About Dead Puerto Rican People

Donald Trump Doesn't Care About Dead Puerto Rican People

This is a post about Fox News telling the truth. Trust us, it won't happen again any time soon.

Oh Man, Sean Hannity Probably HATED Watching Fox News Yesterday

The Trump Who Came In From The Cold. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 30, 2018

Class WarCultureMedia/EntertainmentPoliticsPost-Racial AmericaTrumpracist lady proves to be racist Roseanne Might Actually Be One Of Those Deplorable Trump Voters Rather Than Imaginary Just Worried About Jobs Trump Voters By Stephen Robinson - May 29, 201

A Solemn Remembrance Of All The Times Barack Obama Did Memorial Day Wrong

Ivanka Trump Just Rubbing Her Non-Interned Baby In Refugees’ Jailed Faces

Roseanne Might Actually Be One Of Those Deplorable Trump Voters Rather Than Imaginary Just Worried About Jobs Trump Voters

A Solemn Remembrance Of All The Times Barack Obama Did Memorial Day Wrong

Ivanka Trump Just Rubbing Her Non-Interned Baby In Refugees' Jailed Faces

Imagine A Vegan Restaurant Where Ranch Dressing Costs Extra But The Buttholes Are Free

UPDATED: A Children's Treasury Of All The Non-Gun Things Conservatives Think Cause Mass Shootings

What are they paying this woman for exactly?

Imagine A Vegan Restaurant Where Ranch Dressing Costs Extra But The Buttholes Are Free

Donald Trump Would Like To Confuse You About Migrant Kids. How About ‘No.’

Megyn Kelly Talked About Starbucks And Race. It Went GREAT!

OK But Seriously, WHERE THE FUCK IS MELANIA?

Donald Trump Would Like To Confuse You About Migrant Kids. How About 'No.'

This dude sux.

OK But Seriously, WHERE THE FUCK IS MELANIA?

Don't know much 'bout ethics, but he knows homo sex is a sin!

Mercenary Trump Supporter Bruce Carter Now Officially Most Embarrassing Black Person Alive

Rick Santorum knows who is to blame for the misplaced children, just kidding, he doesn't care.

House Republican Nopes Out Once Everyone Discovers He's A Asshole

Ryan Zinke Loves The Trees. They’re Great Cover For Shooting Baby Bears.

Rick Santorum: To Lose One Child Is A Misfortune; To Lose 1500 Seems Fine, Just Fine

Ryan Zinke Loves The Trees. They're Great Cover For Shooting Baby Bears.

Trump Pretty Sure Robert Mueller Gonna Steal Midterm Elections Like A Common Russia

Trump Pretty Sure Robert Mueller Gonna Steal Midterm Elections Like A Common Russia

You Fucking Love Science, So Vote Some Fucking Scientists Into Office!

You Fucking Love Science, So Vote Some Fucking Scientists Into Office!

California’s 39th: WE GOT US A SHITSHOW!

California's 39th: WE GOT US A SHITSHOW!

Trump Sacrifices His Executive Time. Wonkagenda For Tues., May 29, 2018

Bigtits McFakebook strikes again!

Our Nigerian Scammer

Nevada Race For US Senate Strangely Lacking In Amusing Weirdos

Nevada Race For US Senate Strangely Lacking In Amusing Weirdos

The Week In Garbage Men: Bad Feminist Public Schools Won’t Even Let Boys Get Concussions, Masturbate In Locker Rooms

The Week In Garbage Men: Bad Feminist Public Schools Won't Even Let Boys Get Concussions, Masturbate In Locker Rooms

Trump Says ICE Will Keep Losing Migrant Children Until Democrats Give In To His Demands

Trump Says ICE Will Keep Losing Migrant Children Until Democrats Give In To His Demands

Comhghairdeas, Éire!: Ireland Votes To Legalize Abortion

Comhghairdeas, Éire!: Ireland Votes To Legalize Abortion

Your Weekly Top Ten, Comin’ Atcha From An Undisclosed Location In NEW YORK

Your Weekly Top Ten, Comin' Atcha From An Undisclosed Location In NEW YORK

Rudy Giuliani Has Thing To Say, And It Is A Noun, A Verb, And ‘KOREAN PERJURY TRAPS!’

Just wait til he pulls his version of Reagan's kneeslapper, 'The bombing begins in five minutes.'

Rudy Giuliani Has Thing To Say, And It Is A Noun, A Verb, And 'KOREAN PERJURY TRAPS!'

Wait, You Mean James O’Keefe Videos DON’T Hold Up In A Court Of Law????

Donald Trump Just Hallucinating Now, Sees Shade Of Melania When She's Not There

Nothing To See Here, Folks. Apparently Gay Men Beat Themselves Into Comas.

Wait, You Mean James O'Keefe Videos DON'T Hold Up In A Court Of Law????

Nothing To See Here, Folks. Apparently Gay Men Beat Themselves Into Comas.

Michael Cohen In ALL The Shit. Again.

Dana Rohrabacher Being A Total Dana Rohrabacher Again, Anti-Gay Edition

Michael Cohen In ALL The Shit. Again.

Oh By The Way, Devin Nunes’s Super Secret Classified Spy Briefing Yesterday? YOOOOOGE Knuckle Turd!

Rudy Giuliani Real Sure Devin Nunes Will Only Leak Him The Unclassified Parts

Dana Rohrabacher Being A Total Dana Rohrabacher Again, Anti-Gay Edition

Tears served.

Oh By The Way, Devin Nunes's Super Secret Classified Spy Briefing Yesterday? YOOOOOGE Knuckle Turd!

Rudy Giuliani Real Sure Devin Nunes Will Only Leak Him The Unclassified Parts

ICE Giving Migrant Parents A Break From Their Kids, Hopefully Will Return Them Someday

Rachel Dolezal's Imaginary Blackness Might End With Very Real Prison For Welfare Fraud

Has Roger Stone Been Telling COMMON FIBS About His Collusion With WikiLeaks?

ICE Giving Migrant Parents A Break From Their Kids, Hopefully Will Return Them Someday

Now, what the fuck did he do to deserve getting his ass beat and tased?

Has Roger Stone Been Telling COMMON FIBS About His Collusion With WikiLeaks?

Police Beat Black NBA Player Sterling Brown; NFL Says Kneeling Still Treason

Surprise! Trump’s Global Gag Rule On Abortion Has Resulted In… More Abortions

Surprise! Trump's Global Gag Rule On Abortion Has Resulted In... More Abortions

Don't Be Tardy For The Obstruction Party! Wonkagenda For Fri., May 25, 2018

Oh No, Michael Cohen’s Tell-All Book Has Been Cancelled. Sorry, Pulitzer Committee!

Uncle Sam chugged a tall can of Whoop-Ass, and stomped Mother Russia.

Oh No, Michael Cohen's Tell-All Book Has Been Cancelled. Sorry, Pulitzer Committee!

The Five Dumbest Things Rudy Giuliani Has Said Since Lunch

FBI Sucker Punches Russian Hackers, Steals Their Lunch Money, And Follows Them Home

One Two Three Four Dems Declare A Class War!

Alia Shawkat, MARRY ME!

The Five Dumbest Things Rudy Giuliani Has Said Since Lunch

'How did we ever come to such a pass?' asks man who helped drive the bus.

Alia Shawkat, MARRY ME!

No, Steve Bannon Doesn’t Think Martin Luther King Would Be ‘Proud’ Of Trump. He Is A Troll.

Rudy Giuliani’s Brain Seems To Have Gotten Out Of Its Kennel Again

Jeff Flake Wonders How Politics Got So Ugly, Doesn't Own A Mirror

You Can’t Break Up With Trump, North Korea! He’s Breaking Up With You First!

No, Steve Bannon Doesn't Think Martin Luther King Would Be 'Proud' Of Trump. He Is A Troll.

Man Heroically Catfishes Stupidest (Non-Nazi) Website On The Internet

Rudy Giuliani's Brain Seems To Have Gotten Out Of Its Kennel Again

You Can't Break Up With Trump, North Korea! He's Breaking Up With You First!

Donald Trump: Immigrant Babies, Like Britney Spears, Not So Innocent

Man Heroically Catfishes Stupidest (Non-Nazi) Website On The Internet

Donald Trump: Immigrant Babies, Like Britney Spears, Not So Innocent

NFL Compromise: Kneeling Players Have Three-Fifths Free Speech Rights

NFL Compromise: Kneeling Players Have Three-Fifths Free Speech Rights

What Time Will Devin Nunes Jizz Classified Intel All Over Fox News Today?

What Time Will Devin Nunes Jizz Classified Intel All Over Fox News Today?

Jared Kushner’s Security Clearance Is Excellent News For Saudi Prince

Jared Kushner's Security Clearance Is Excellent News For Saudi Prince

Trump Knows How To Fix Black Folks' Knees... Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 24, 2018

Y’all Getting Rowdy In Here?

Tough Tomi, Titty

Y'all Getting Rowdy In Here?

Tough Tomi, Titty

NICETIMES AGAIN! WHAAAA????

Congress Frees Big Banks From Regulations That Kept Them Only Obscenely Profitable

NICE TIME! Judge Rules Kid Who Just Wanted To Pee Can Pee

Michael Cohen Prison Oddsmaker For May 23, 2018: Today’s Chances Are LOL!

Congress Frees Big Banks From Regulations That Kept Them Only Obscenely Profitable

Fuck you, Aaron. Nobody believes you.

Michael Cohen Prison Oddsmaker For May 23, 2018: Today's Chances Are LOL!

Hey LADIES!!!

Aaron Schlossberg Is The Least Racist Person Aaron Schlossberg Knows

Democrats Graciously Conceding To Badass Female Nominees Like Bunch Of Grown-Ups Who Believe In Democracy

Queen Elizabeth is now blacker than Rachel Dolezal.

A Children’s Treasury Of All The Non-Gun Things Conservatives Think Cause Mass Shootings

Texas Bigot Should Be More Like The Queen

Betsy DeVos Wants Everyone To Be Happy. Bigots, And The Immigrant Kids They Rat Out To ICE

Rudy Giuliani’s Mouth, Wikileaks Are Gifts That Keep On Giving

Betsy DeVos Wants Everyone To Be Happy. Bigots, And The Immigrant Kids They Rat Out To ICE

Rudy Giuliani's Mouth, Wikileaks Are Gifts That Keep On Giving

House Republicans Want Second Special Counsel To Investigate … Oh Fuck It, You Already Know

House Republicans Want Second Special Counsel To Investigate ... Oh Fuck It, You Already Know

Trump obsessed with spies, Michael Cohen's partner flips, and Mick Mulvaney has words about CHIP. Your morning news brief.

Paranoid Trump Searches For Spies. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 23, 2018

Portal To Hell Opens In White House Lawn. Obama Never Had One Of Those.

Ryan Zinke To Permit Uday And Qusay Trump To Murder Bear Cubs, Too

Internet Morons Can’t Wait To See President Obama Get Impeached, Thrown Right Out Of Office He Does Not Hold

Portal To Hell Opens In White House Lawn. Obama Never Had One Of Those.

Charlottesville Nazi ‘Commie Killer’ Cracker Goin’ The Fuck To Jail

Ryan Zinke To Permit Uday And Qusay Trump To Murder Bear Cubs, Too

We Sure Do Hope Rod Rosenstein Knows What The Fuck He’s Doing Right Now

Internet Morons Can't Wait To See President Obama Get Impeached, Thrown Right Out Of Office He Does Not Hold

Wait, What With The Broidy Guy And Qatar And Huh? We’ll Splain You Easy

Charlottesville Nazi 'Commie Killer' Cracker Goin' The Fuck To Jail

Everyone Mourns Differently. Father Of Texas School Shooter Mourns Like A Dick

We Sure Do Hope Rod Rosenstein Knows What The Fuck He's Doing Right Now

Duchess Meghan Markle, Bloody Feminist!

Wait, What With The Broidy Guy And Qatar And Huh? We'll Splain You Easy

Why can't the rest of the White House website be just as glaringly racist as the 'animal' MS-13 page?

Everyone Mourns Differently. Father Of Texas School Shooter Mourns Like A Dick

Idiot Gateway Pundit Reporter, But We Repeat Ourselves, Lectures Bernice King On Her Father, MLK

Duchess Meghan Markle, Bloody Feminist!

Just When You Thought Michael Cohen Couldn’t Be Any Stupider, ALONG COMES THE ONION!

Trump Rolling Happily In Enormous Pile Of His Own Racism. Also, Pigshit

Now that Obama's out of office, no one would wire tapp Trump anyway.

Idiot Gateway Pundit Reporter, But We Repeat Ourselves, Lectures Bernice King On Her Father, MLK

Just When You Thought Michael Cohen Couldn't Be Any Stupider, ALONG COMES THE ONION!

Hugh Hewitt Knows What To Blame For These Mass Shootings, And It Is … Trench Coats!

You Can Have Donald Trump's Jitterbug Old People Phone When You Pry It From His Cold Dead Hands

Hugh Hewitt Knows What To Blame For These Mass Shootings, And It Is ... Trench Coats!

DRUDGE SIRENS! ALEX JONES MEAT SWEATS! BARACK OBAMA BEGGING JAY-Z TO MAKE BLACK PEOPLE STOP LOVING TRUMP SO MUCH!

DRUDGE SIRENS! ALEX JONES MEAT SWEATS! BARACK OBAMA BEGGING JAY-Z TO MAKE BLACK PEOPLE STOP LOVING TRUMP SO MUCH!

QATAR WHO. Wonkagenda For Tues., May 22, 2018

BBQ Becky brought a whole lot of fam together Sunday in Oakland. Thanks BBQ Becky!

He saw something, and he said something. Something stupid and bigoted.

BBQing While Black: Charcoal Grilling White Racial Aggression

Indiana Law Professor Deeply Saddened Democrats Voting For So Many Ladies :(

Border Patrol Guy Keeps Montana Safe From Two US Citizens Speaking Spanish

Let’s Drink The Sweet Delicious Nazi Tears About Meghan Markle, Queen Of You!

Indiana Law Professor Deeply Saddened Democrats Voting For So Many Ladies :(

How Do We Stop That Meteor From Killing Us All? It’s HAMMER Time!

Let's Drink The Sweet Delicious Nazi Tears About Meghan Markle, Queen Of You!

How Do We Stop That Meteor From Killing Us All? It’s HAMMER Time!

Can Donald Trump Jr. And Erik Prince Please Go The Fuck To Jail Yet?

Can Donald Trump Jr. And Erik Prince Please Go The Fuck To Jail Yet?

American Dreams Take Second Place To Precious, Precious Guns

American Dreams Take Second Place To Precious, Precious Guns

TFW Everyone Kicks You In The Nuts And You Think You’re WINNING!

TFW Everyone Kicks You In The Nuts And You Think You're WINNING!

Texas Shooter Had History Of Harassing Girls Who Weren’t Interested In Him. Imagine That.

Texas Shooter Had History Of Harassing Girls Who Weren't Interested In Him. Imagine That.

President Poop Clown HEREBY DEMANDS To Be Treated Like Halfwit Wannabe Dictator He Is!

President Poop Clown HEREBY DEMANDS To Be Treated Like Halfwit Wannabe Dictator He Is!

Jailbird Don Blankenship Running Third-Party For Senate, Because What Are Laws?

Jailbird Don Blankenship Running Third-Party For Senate, Because What Are Laws?

What causes lots of people to die in shootings? Oliver North and the Texas lieutenant governor have very stupid answers.

Sunday Rundown: Guns & Ammo Edition

Spies Like Us! Wonkagenda For Mon., May 21, 2018

Deleted Comments: Are All You Diversity Supremacists Inbread Or Just Jewish?

Deleted Comments: Are All You Diversity Supremacists Inbread Or Just Jewish?

Schools Staying Fucked Up

Schools Staying Fucked Up

It's only been a year and Karen Handel has already become a swamp creature. Will suburban Atlanta get woke?

Midterm Madness: How Many Millions Will The GOP Spend To Defend Georgia's Sixth?

Why do these guys keep insisting something that isn't a business should be run like one?

Indiana's GOP Senate Candidate Wants America Run Like Business. His Business Sucks Ass.

Black people today are all up in our feelings as we watched one of our own join the vaunted ranks of the British Aristocracy.

A Royal Wedding Of Blacktacularness!

The Week In Garbage Men: Food Network Idiot Claims ‘Straight White Man’ Is The New N-Word, Gets Ratioed To Oblivion

The Week In Garbage Men: Food Network Idiot Claims 'Straight White Man' Is The New N-Word, Gets Ratioed To Oblivion

Even his mom says he makes her sick.

Texas Republican Unsure How Demanding His Children Marry White People Makes Him A Bigot

Nazi Mother-In-Law Fucker Off To Jail. But Not For Assaulting His Lover’s Daughter (His Wife)

Nazi Mother-In-Law Fucker Off To Jail. But Not For Assaulting His Lover's Daughter (His Wife)

Did Wonkette’s Top 10 Shit The Bed Just A Tiny? NAHHHHH

Did Wonkette's Top 10 Shit The Bed Just A Tiny? NAHHHHH

10 Dead In Santa Fe School Shooting, But Don’t Worry, The Guns Are Safe

Jordan Peterson Somehow Worse Today Than Yesterday

10 Dead In Santa Fe School Shooting, But Don't Worry, The Guns Are Safe

Jordan Peterson Somehow Worse Today Than Yesterday

House GOP Fails To Take Your Food Stamps Away. Better Luck Next Time, House GOP!

Nice Women’s Health Clinic You Got Here, Shame What They’re About To Do To It

House GOP Fails To Take Your Food Stamps Away. Better Luck Next Time, House GOP!

Nice Women's Health Clinic You Got Here, Shame What They're About To Do To It

Rep. Mo Brooks Does Science: Maybe Sea Levels Rise When Someone Drops Mountains In The Ocean

Fox News Secretly Replaced Oliver North With Total Muslim Stuff, And Staffers Are FREAKING OUT

Rep. Mo Brooks Does Science: Maybe Sea Levels Rise When Someone Drops Mountains In The Ocean

Lucky Jared Kushner Follows Double Rainbow To Pot Of Gold!

Fox News Secretly Replaced Oliver North With Total Muslim Stuff, And Staffers Are FREAKING OUT

Louisiana Is About To Pass A Heinous Abortion Law, And You’re Not Gonna Like Who’s Behind It

Lucky Jared Kushner Follows Double Rainbow To Pot Of Gold!

Louisiana Is About To Pass A Heinous Abortion Law, And You're Not Gonna Like Who's Behind It

Judge Reams ICE’s Ass For Perjuring All Over Dreamer Kid

Judge Reams ICE's Ass For Perjuring All Over Dreamer Kid

Some people are animals, and some people are fine people on both sides.

Trump Has A Selective Criterion For Calling People 'Animals.' One Guess What It Is

Trump world freaking out about spies, an assault on abortion, and Fox is woke now. Your morning news brief.

Spy vs Lie. Wonkagenda For Fri., May 18, 2018

Alex Jones Has Thoughts On Robert Mueller’s Deep State Sex Orgy, By A Doctor Of Rhetoric

Alex Jones Has Thoughts On Robert Mueller's Deep State Sex Orgy, By A Doctor Of Rhetoric

What, It’s Not Like He Called Them ‘Rats’ And ‘Vermin’ And ‘Parasites’

Just Some Domestic Terrorists Kidnapping Little Black Boys And Maybe Murdering Some Other Folks Is All

Just Some Domestic Terrorists Kidnapping Little Black Boys And Maybe Murdering Some Other Folks Is All

Did Roid-Rage Bigot Attorney Aaron Schlossberg’s Partner Run Screaming Away From Him? Looks Like!

What, It's Not Like He Called Them 'Rats' And 'Vermin' And 'Parasites'

Ronan Farrow’s Got Your Dirty Sexy Money … Hangin’

Did Roid-Rage Bigot Attorney Aaron Schlossberg's Partner Run Screaming Away From Him? Looks Like!

Ronan Farrow's Got Your Dirty Sexy Money ... Hangin'

And Mark Warner too.

Resistance, Get Your Red-State Dems In Line!

Oklahoma Republican Weird

How Can You Even Be A Feminist If You Don’t Agree With Women You Disagree With, Huh?

Oklahoma Republican Weird

How Can You Even Be A Feminist If You Don't Agree With Women You Disagree With, Huh?

The president's lawyer takes his THE BEST WORDS on teevee!

The Top Five Times Rudy Giuliani Was A Batshit Lunatic Since ... Oh, Since Last Night

Wonksplainer: Who Is Jordan Peterson And Why Is He The Worst?

Wonksplainer: Who Is Jordan Peterson And Why Is He The Worst?

Michael Cohen can't take this anymore, Trump calls immigrants animals, and Trump-Russia goes off the fucking rails! Your morning news brief.

Michael Cohen Knee Deep In Shit. Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 17, 2018

Rudy Giuliani Would Gladly Pay You Tuesday To Shut Down Investigation Today

Rudy Giuliani Would Gladly Pay You Tuesday To Shut Down Investigation Today

New York Times Wonders If It MAY Have Shit Bed A Tiny On That Little Trump-Russia Story Just That One Time

New York Times Wonders If It MAY Have Shit Bed A Tiny On That Little Trump-Russia Story Just That One Time

Now HERE'S a social justice warrior!

Sherrod Brown Gonna Get Walmart Off The Corporate Welfare Tit. Thanks, Sherrod Brown!

Michael Cohen Would Like This Qatari Guy To Put The Millions In The Bag Please, He’ll See That The Trump Family Gets It

Michael Cohen Would Like This Qatari Guy To Put The Millions In The Bag Please, He'll See That The Trump Family Gets It

Let’s Liveblog Donald Trump Jr.’s Senate Lies, Since There’s Obviously Nothing Else Going On Today

Let's Liveblog Donald Trump Jr.'s Senate Lies, Since There's Obviously Nothing Else Going On Today

LOL President Dumb Shit Got Played On North Korea, Can You Believe It?

LOL President Dumb Shit Got Played On North Korea, Can You Believe It?

Why Not Just Put The Immigrant Kids Ripped From Their Parents In Manzanar?

Why Not Just Put The Immigrant Kids Ripped From Their Parents In Manzanar?

The Wheels On The Deportation Bus Go Round And Round

The Wheels On The Deportation Bus Go Round And Round

One Year Later. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 16, 2018

Don’t Tell Glenn Greenwald To STFU Because He’s Gay! Do It Because He’s A FUCKING IDIOT.

Don't Tell Glenn Greenwald To STFU Because He's Gay! Do It Because He's A FUCKING IDIOT.

Great Artist Jon McNaughton Unveils Exciting New Mueller Painting, ‘Trump Gonna Cut A Bitch’

Great Artist Jon McNaughton Unveils Exciting New Mueller Painting, 'Trump Gonna Cut A Bitch'

Oh, THOSE Chinese loans!

Donald Trump So Busy Helping Chinese Company He Forgot To Mention Half-Billion Dollar Chinese Loan!

Unlike Trump University, Prager U lies to you for FREE.

Dennis Prager's Fake 'University' Is Back, Lying Like A Common Trump U

Is Hot Missouri GOP Senate Candidate Too Busy Doin' Leg Day To Beat Claire McCaskill?

Scott Pruitt Just Trying To Kill You Is All

If Trump And Sean Hannity Keep Having Nightly Phone Sex, Hannity Will Get Crotch Crickets In His Ear

White House Moppet Ezra Cohen-Watnick Gonna Find The Leakers If It's The Last Phone He Tapps

Panicky White People Creating College Job Opportunities ... For More Campus Cops!

How John McCain Contributed To His Own Abuse At The Hands of The Totally Predictable Mobbed-Up, Sociopathic Cruelty Of The Trump Administration

Trump Gonna Find Those Fake Lying Leakers, Put Them In FAKE LYING JAIL!

World On Fire. Wonkagenda For Tues., May 15, 2018

Vanessa Trump, A Verb, And 9/11 ...

Won't Some Brown People Help This GOP Candidate By Bombing South Dakota? (Please Don't Do That)

Jesus Wept.

Happy First Birthday, Robert Mueller Investigation! Celebrate By Putting Some More Fuckers IN JAIL!

Ivanka Blows Kisses While Gaza Strip Burns

Trump Knows ONE WEIRD CHINESE TRICK To Screw Up Trade Policy AND National Security!

Hepatitis Eating Your Liver Without Even Chianti. It's SCIENCE!

What Do Michael Avenatti, Ice Cube, And Qatar Have In Common? They Are All In THIS DUMB STORY!

Sunday Show Roundup: Trump White House Mean Girls Take On Iran, North Korea, And John McCain

Slumlord Millionaire Sean Hannity Evicts Poor People Like A Common Kushner

Trump Can't Handle The Truth. Wonkagenda For Mon., May 14, 2018

Mike Pence's Mysterious Brother Wants To Play Politics

Red State Gun Grabberz: Mary Fallin Punks The NRA

Raise Less Corn, More Hell! Your BEST Mother's Day Tradition!

The Week In Garbage Men: Why Did The Mean Feminists Murder This Nice Lady Homemaker Poet?

If People Calling You A Nazi Turns You Into A Nazi, The Nazi Was In You All Along

Nashville Mayoral Candidate Explains Joys Of Racial Profiling To Room Full Of Black People

John Kelly Says USA Has No Room For Illiterate Peasants, Didn't Mean His Own Ancestors

Yes, You Can Go To Jail For Being Too Blackkety Black, Y'all

Your Weekly Top Ten Triumphantly Concludes Another Week Of Michael Cohen Falling Into His Own Asshole

AJ Delgado Needs Your Gofundme Cash, But Not Like A Welfare Queen, THIS IS DIFFERENT

Sarah Palin's Brain Just Went Rogue Again

Waffle House Didn't Just Wake Up Racist Yesterday. It's Got A (Jim Crow) HISTORY

Fire The Writers, This Donald Trump/Michael Cohen Law Show Has Gone Off The Freaking Rails!

Does Jonathan Chait Think Liberals Don't Know How To Google?

Scott Pruitt Stars In 'My Dinner With Accused Sex-Abuser Cardinal Who Says Global Warming's Fake'

Trump Asshole Can't Stop LOLing About How Dead John McCain Is About To Be

AT&T Buys An Idiot, Gets What It Paid For

White Women Being Reeeeaaaallllll Shitty, For A Change

Kirstjen Nielsen So Miserable Working For Trump She Just Might Tear A Mexican Family Apart!

Maxine Waters Runs Right Over Paul Ryan But Still Gets Rolled On Racist Car Loans

Rudy Giuliani's Exit Interview: A Play In One Act

Crooked Mikey, LOCK HIM UP. Wonkagenda For Fri., May 11, 2018

Fox News Shitmouth Has Thoughts About John McCain, To Shit Out His Mouth

KKK Imperial Jerkoff Guilty Of Gun-Fuckery During Charlottesville Klanbake

Oliver North Says You Are Being WORSE THAN JIM CROW To The Poor, Weak NRA

Is Michael Avenatti In BIG TROUBLE MISTER? A LOL, No, Lawsplainer!

Rachel Maddow Has Questions About Michael Cohen, And They Are All LOLOL THE FUCK YOU SAY?

Guess How Many Torture Fans Named Dick Cheney Want To Bring Back Torture? ALL OF THEM!

America, Massachusetts Would Like To Have A Word With You About Guns.

Diamond And Silk Idiots Again

A Brief, Disgusting Update On The Life And Times Of Donald Trump Jr.'s Penis

This Is What Chris Cillizza Got Paid More Than You To Do Yesterday

Michael Cohen's Shell Game. Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 10, 2018

A Post About Devin Nunes By A Guy Who's Seen Seven Episodes Of 'The Americans'

US Diplomats Said 'Please Don't Deport Refugees, It's Bad.' Trump Said, 'We Still Have Diplomats?'

Everybody Who Maybe Bribed Michael Cohen Needs To STOP FUCKING TALKING RIGHT NOW

Donald Trump Might Be Taking His Richard Nixon Cosplay A Little Too Seriously

An Important Update From The Gina Haspel CIA Confirmation Hearings

How Stupid Was Trump's Iran Announcement, On A Scale Of One To 'Donald Fucking Trump'?

Have We Mentioned That Everyone At Fox Is Going Straight To Hell?

Don Blankenship Gets Mineshafted

How Long Do We Have To Listen To White Dudes Whine Before They Are Officially Uncensored?

Strap In, It's Time For Your Daily Scott Pruitt Grift Roundup!

Mikey Baby, You're In A World Of Shit. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 9, 2018

Fuck Are All These Russians Doing In Michael Cohen's Sex Payoff Slush Fund?????

George Zimmerman Will Feed You To The Gators! Also, He's Been Charged With Stalking.

Trump Admin Wants To Let Teens Fall Off Roofs So They Can Feed Their Teen Families

Hey Trump, YOU BEEN FUCKIN'? The Entire Internet Is Just Curious!

The Federalist IS NOT HAVING YOUR ANTI-CHRISTIAN HATE, RIHANNA AND CARDI B!

Guess Melania Trump Picked The Wrong Day To Start Caring About Children

President Shit Baby Hath Changed His Mind About Rudy Giuliani

Kellyanne Conway And Friends Keep Trying To Turn #MeToo Into A 'Gotcha' Game

Take A Breath, Barbara Underwood Is Here To Clean Up Schneiderman's Mess

NRA Picks Oliver North As Next President. Libs Fuckin' Triggered, Man

Melania Trump's New 'Let's Move' Initiative Sounds Pretty Cool

AND STAY OUT. Wonkagenda For Tues., May 8, 2018

New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, GET THE FUCK OUT

Don Blankenship Wouldn't Have To Hit You, Trump, If You Didn't Make Him So Mad

Fat Fucker One Big Mac Away From A Heart Attack Picks Fitness Council. It Is A Bad Council.

You Can Now Be Too Poor To Die

Hello, 911? Carter Page Would Like To Report A WAR CRIME!

Britt McHenry Says A Hot Mess Of Reverse Racism Got Her Fired From ESPN, Deletes Tweet Because LOL

Sad Paranoid Scott Pruitt Basically Howard Hughes Without The Kleenex Boxes On His Feet

That Time Trump People Hired Israeli Spies To Get Dirt On Former Obama Officials, Because These People Are NUTS.

Gina Haspel Almost Thought Better Of Her CIA Nomination, But Then Trump Thought Better Of Her Thinking Better Of It

Shitty New Iowa Abortion Law Is Why Republicans Keep Winning

Even The Soap Operas Are Trolling Trump Cause Fuck This Shit

Rudy Giuliani, Philosopher, Poses Kantian Question 'What Is Truth?', Transcends Space, Time, Void Between His Ears

Trump Urges Voters To Reject Don Blankenship, Who's As Bad As That Alabama Loser He Backed

Sunday: The Further Descent of Rudy Giuliani

'HE CAN'T WIN!' Wonkagenda For Mon., May 7, 2018

Deleted Comments: Attack Of Multi-Troll Almost Distracted Us From Arizona Legislator's Furry Saga

Gee, Anything Going On In Missouri That Might Affect The US Senate Race? Let's Crimesplore!

Midterm Madness: The Congressional White Supremacist Edition.

Wonkette Is LIVE From CrimeCon!

Alex Jones Is Very Glad Donald Trump Is Here To Save Us From The Murder Robots

Turns Out Guns In Schools Are A Bad Idea! Who Would Have Thought?

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Ready For Rudy Giuliani To Go Away And Shut Up Again

We Watched Trump's Weak Loser NRA Speech So You Don't Have To

Trump Says Rudy Giuliani Is Best Smartest Guy, Also Bad Stupid Idiot Who's Wrong So Much

Teachers Cuck Arizona Republicans

Paul Ryan Gets Cucked By Priest

Mitt Romney Like Hot Dog Best. Hamburger Second Best But Hot Dog Best.

Murdery GOP Senate Candidate Don Blankenship Thinks The Chinapeople Are The Issue

Michael Avenatti Just Being Sexy, Saying Rudy Giuliani Is A Damn Fool, Being Sexy Some More

Trump Makes Ukraine A Deal It Can't Refuse

Finally A Story About Missouri Gov. Eric Greitens Being A Common Criminal, With No Rape At All

Sure We Believe You Sarah Huckabee Sanders! Wonkagenda For Fri., May 4, 2018

Rudy Giuliani Gonna Get A Cramp If He Keeps His Head Stuck Up His Ass Like This

Facebook Wants To Let The Heritage Foundation Decide What's News

Michigan To Poors: Get Jobs Or Lose Medicaid (Unless You Are White)

EPA Spokesjerk Liz Bowman Fucks Right Off To New Gig Yelling At Reporters For Joni Ernst

Oh Shit, Michael Cohen Got 'Wire Tapps' In His Obamaphone! LOL TRUMP U R FUCKED!

Rudy Giuliani Confesses To Fifty Impossible Trump Crimes Before Breakfast

Sorry To Be Such A Michelle Wolf, But Sarah Huckabee Sanders Is Total Fucking Liar Again

Paul Ryan: Sure Would Be A Shame If Some Election Stopped Our Cover-Ups For Trump

Hey, How About This Random Street Corner Guy For VA Secretary? How About Him?

Kanye's Favorite Black Conservative Candace Owens Some Candy-Coated Bullshit Right Here

Rudy Giuliani May Have Committed Wee Oopsie In Trump/Stormy Daniels Case, If You Can Even Believe It

Can Tom Price Beat Off Marco Rubio For This Month's Flexible Spine Award?

LOLOL GIULIANI HAHA WHOOPS. Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 3, 2018.

The Redistribution Of Human Flesh, By Ross Douthbag

Cambridge Analytica Pretending To Go Away Now, Everybody Wave 'BYE-BYE!' Like This Is A Real Thing!

Uh Oh, Trump Found An Actual Lawyer Who Does Real Law

Bush Ethics Guy Richard Painter Running For Senate As Democrat Just Why Exactly?

A Thing Jeff Bezos Could Spend His Hundred Billion Dollars On Instead Of Spaceships To Space

Robert Mueller Will Not Hestitate To Shove This Subpoena Directly Up Trump's Ass

Iraq's Hero Shoe-Thrower Running For Parliament, Hell Yeah!

Scott Pruitt And All Those Bodies!

Texas Leads Lawsuit To Kill DACA, Since America Isn't Cruel Enough Yet

Trump Thugs Stole Trump's Medical Records, We Guess To 'Hide' How Trump Is A Huge Baldy McChunkGross

Rod Rosenstein Dares You To Come For His Ass

Rosenstein Tells Nunes To Eat Shit. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 2, 2018

On This May Day, A Radical Idea: What If You Couldn't Be Fired For No Reason?

Tom Price Sad GOP Killed Obamacare Mandate, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Kiddy-Botherer Roy Moore Sues Whores And Gays For Telling People About It

Maine Gov. Paul LePage Tells Maine Voters To Suck His Dick, Pretty Much (This Is A Post About Medicaid)

John Legend Collects Kanye West, Helps A Brother Out

Kellyanne Conway, Get Back Under Your Tree

Paul Manafort's Latest Attempt To Shut Down Mueller Investigation Is ... LOLOLOLOL NOPE!

Time For More Stupid Gun Shit If You Can Believe That

NBC Women Say They Were Pressured To Sign 'Tom Brokaw Is Not A Sex Creep' Letter No One Is Buying Anyway

Robert Mueller Has 49 Questions For President Hugefuckingliar, So He Can Lie To Mueller 49 Times!

Evil Dems Made Mike Pence's Doctor Complain About Ronny Jackson's 'Misconduct' Last Year

Sometimes It's A Lie. Sometimes It's Incompetence. Sometimes It's The White House Starting A War With Iran!

The Lying Devil Cancels R. Kelly Who Was Already Cancelled

John Kelly Thinks Trump Is Total Effing Idiot, So He's Getting Fired Soon

Been Nice Knowing You, John Kelly. Wonkagenda For Tues., May 1, 2018

Jeff Sessions Gonna GIT TOUGH ON YA, For 'Justice'

OMG Has Michael Cohen Already Started Singing Like The Big Dumb Canary He Is?

Government Misplaced 1,500 Refugee Kids. Is That Bad?

TFW You're So Busy Hating On Gays You Forget To Hate Catholics For A Minute

Trump Knows Why Democrats Tricked Russia Into Tricking Trump Into Doing Conspiracies With Russia

Donald Trump Going To NRA Convention To Tell NRA What NRA Told Him He Thinks About Guns

Monument To Lynching Victims Opens. No, Not Clarence Thomas Or Bill Cosby

How Are You Fucking Up Your Children Today?

Did Michelle Wolf Call Sarah Huckabee Sanders A 'Debased Redneck Motherfucker' Or Something?

Dr. Ronny Jackson Demoted, Will Have To Lie About Other White House Staffers' Weight Now

Trump Said Some Crazy Offensive Shit Saturday Night. Real Americans Loooooved It.

Scaramucci, Schlapps, And Shuckafuck: The Sunday Gauntlet Of Conservative Aggrievement

The Shaming Of The Shrew. Wonkagenda For Mon., April 30, 2018

Donald Trump Wants Montana Democrat Jon Tester To Resign. LOL 'K.

Michelle Wolf Was Fucking Fabulous And Transcendent At The White House Correspondent’s Dinner, So Shut Up

The Week In Garbage Men: Incels Sympathizers Make Case For Redistribution Of Vaginas

Joy Reid Issues Apology For Stuff She Says Does Not Believe She Wrote

Fact-Averse Conservatives Use UK Toddler's Death To Argue Evils Of Health Care For All

We Don't Want #ConservativeTears! We Want A Functioning Government!

Your Weekly Top Ten Can't Even With This Last News Week

No, We Are Not Reading Devin Nunes's Stupid Ass House Intel Russia Report, Thanks For Asking

America's Greatest Artist Jon McNaughton Explains Why Youngs Must Handle Trump's Tacklebox

Billionaire Dilettantes, Milo Needs A HERO!

Winter Olympians Invite Trump To Meet At The GO FUCK YOURSELF Bar And Grill

At Least ICE Fuckery Doesn't Happen To American Citizens... Oh, Shit.

Maybe Democrats Should Focus On Beating Republicans Instead Of Tearing Down Progressives In Primaries?

Have We Told Mitch McConnell To Eat A Bag Of Turtle Dicks This Week?

Paul Ryan Manages To Start Holy War In The House. Great Job!

Mike Pompeo Sworn In As Secretary Of Never Contradicting Donald Trump's Foreign Policy Tweets

Scott Pruitt Goes To Congress, Belches Out Smog

How Pathetic Is Michael Cohen, On A Scale Of One To Donald Trump Jr.?

Peace In Our Time! Wonkagenda For Fri., April 27, 2018

Diamond And Silk Lie To Congress Like It's Their Damn Jobs

Bill Cosby Better Hope They Have Delicious Pudding Pops IN JAIL!

I, A Flaming Homosexual, Don't Give A Flying Fuck Whether Joy Reid Wrote That Shit 10 Years Ago

Charlie Rose Planning 'Me Too' Chat Series From POV Of The Dicks

VA Nominee Dr. Ronny Jackson Grabs Two Beers, Pops Airplane Door, Slides Away Into History

Trump's Very Good Brain DEMENTIA-SPLODES All Over 'Fox & Friends'!

Alabama Sheriff Feeds Jail Inmates Expired, Rotten 'Food,' Saves Enough For Nice Beach House

Dr. Ronny Jackson PEACES OUT. Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 26, 2018

Sorry, Trump! Even If You Fire Robert Mueller, He Is Still BOSS OF YOUR ASS

Ben Carson Saves HUD Housing From Icky Poor People

Budget Chief Mick Mulvaney's G-String So Full Of Lobbyists' Dollar Bills There's No Room For Anything Else!

It All Started With A Dairy Cow Named 'Gem': A Brief History Of Devin Nunes Being Stupid His Entire Life

Jim Bakker Thinks Abortion Doctors More Powerful Than GOD

Trump Supports V.A. Pick Dr. Ronny Jackson, While Driving Bus Over Ronny-Jackson-Shaped Bump

WE. ARE. WINNING.

The 10 Best Pics Of Trump Being Gay For Emmanuel Macron, Plus One Where Melania Gets A Bite

Incels Hope To Be Taken 'Seriously' Following Latest Woman-Hating Murder Spree

9 Thoughts About Chris Cillizza's 9 Thoughts About That Epic Pic Of The Trumps And Macrons

Trump And Macron: L'AMOUR! Wonkagenda For Wed., April 25, 2018

Arizona Didn't Send 140,000 Voter IDs Before Today's Special Election. GO VOTE ANYWAY.

Sexxxy Emmanuel Macron Snuggles Donald Trump So Melania And America Don't Have To

Stop Calling The Police Because Black People Annoy You!

Hey, Maybe These 'Sovereign Citizens' Might Be, You Know, Dangerous?

Mike Pompeo, Trump's Sec State Nominee, Would Like His Jesus-Times Apocalypse NOW

Gee, Do You Think Scott Pruitt Might Be In Some Trouble? Who Can Ever Say.

Betsy DeVos Just Solved Discrimination In Schools! By Axing All Investigations Into Discrimination In Schools

PRETTY SURE Trump Was In Moscow Long Enough For Dinner And A Pee Show

Dr. Ronny Jackson's VA Confirmation 'Delayed' Even After He Assures Senate It's Not Fat

Erick Erickson Ain't Goin' To The White House To Eat Some Fancy Unpronounceable 'LAMB'

Nick Confessore Doesn't Understand Why Everybody Hates The New York Times. Let's Help Him Out!

RUN, RONNY, RUN! Wonkagenda For Tues., April 24, 2018

Happy 'Confederate Memorial Day,' To All You White Sheets In The KKK!

KELLYANNE CONWAY WISE ENOUGH TO KEEP MICHELLE OBAMA'S NAME OUT HER MOUTH

Sean Hannity Is A Real Estate Philanthropist According To Sean Hannity Who Would NEVER LIE

Cancer Is A Bunch Of Bitches: You Fuckin' Love Science

This One Idiot Pretty Sure James Comey Framed Trump For All His Russian Pee Crimes

Arizona Teachers Have Crazy Idea Kids Need 'School Funding,' Not Just Guns & Jebus

Maybe Nashville Shooter's Dad Shouldn't Have Returned His Guns. It's A Thought.

El Presidente Dipshit Tweets While Melania Makes Giggle Eyes At Obama. A Study In Contrasts!

And Now For The Michael Cohen/Stormy Daniels/Michael Avenatti Porn Report!

Corker, Conway And Santorum: The Unholy Trinity Of CNN's 'State Of The Union'

Hannity Builds Million Dollar Housing Empire With Uncle Sam. Wonkagenda For Mon., April 23, 2018

Remember Those Black Teens Trump Wanted Executed? Netflix Remembers!

Deleted Comments: Robot Sex Dolls Awesome, Because No Child Support, No Nagging, No Feminism!

Senate Sunday: Doofus Mitt Romney Can't Win State GOP Convention, Has To Run In Primary

Midterm Madness: A Nice Doctor Tries To Surgically Remove The GOP Hold On Arizona's 8th.

Charter School Teacher Urges Students To Look On The Sunny Side Of Slavery

The Week In Garbage Humans: Nazis Rally In Georgia, Proud Boy Doesn't Like How Women Vote, And MORE!

Kris Kobach Full Of Snide Things To Say About Teenagers Protesting Gun Violence

Court Rules It Was Unconstitutional For Mike Pence To Tell Indianans What Kind Of Fetuses They Can Abort

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Heralding The Beginning Of Spring, With Dick Jokes!

Pot Legalization Bills Big Today For Some Reason. Spring Weather, Probably.

What If We All Got To 'Follow Our Bliss'?

James Comey Is The Hillary Clinton Of Classified Memos

Handsome Cory Booker Wants To Guarantee Jobs For Everyone!

Democratic Party Will See Trump Campaign And Russia IN HELL! (Or At Least In Court!)

Mission Accomplished In Puerto Rico, We Guess

*Rudy Giuliani* President Trump's Newest Lawyer? Fuck It, Why Not.

Trump's NASA Administrator Brings Fresh New 'No Science' Agenda To Space Agency

Devin Nunes Breaks Land Speed Record For Blowing Wad All Over Fox News (ALLEGEDLY!)

It's Time For The Teen Gun-Grabbing WALKOUT!

Same Stupid-Ass Idiots Want Hillary Clinton (And Many Others!) Prosecuted For Same Stupid-Ass Reasons

Strap In, It's Going To Be A Very Dumb Day! Wonkagenda For Fri, April 20, 2018

Barack Obama Writes Pants Off Newt Gingrich And Ted Cruz. By A Doctor Of Rhetoric

ICE Don't Care Much For This New York White Man Demanding A Warrant. Huh!

Peter Thiel's Evil Spy Machine Knows More About You Than You Do

Tennessee Can't Wait To Erect A Giant Fetus Statue, For To Shame All The Abortion-Havers

New York Ready To Put Michael Cohen's Balls In A Vise If Trump Cockblocks The Feds

Federal Judge Tells Kris Kobach He Is So Totally Boned, Also In Contempt Of Court

A Wonkette Guest Post By Debbie Schlussel About Gross Sean Hannity, Because That Is A Thing That's Happening Right Now

Democrats Have More Universal Healthcare Plans Than Republicans Can Throw Gramma Off A Cliff At

Uh Oh, Donald Trump, Michael Cohen Gonna FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!

Michael Cohen's Office Got Raided, And *Suddenly* Karen McDougal's Lawsuit Got Resolved. SO WEIRD!

Is Shit Getting Worse, White People-Wise? Yes. Shit Is Getting Worse.

Memphis Tells Tennessee Lege To Fuck Off In Most DELIGHTFUL Way

Michael Cohen, Most Loyal Guy, Until He Isn't! Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 19, 2018

White Supremacist Terrorists Convicted, So There's A Nice Time!

GOP Won't Protect Robert Mueller, Because Of How Mitch McConnell Sucks Turtle Assholes

Poor Glenn Beck Has To Sell Private Jet He Bought While He Was Laying Everyone Off The Last Time

Nice 'Anti-Abortion Feminist' Lady Just Wants White Homeland. YOU'RE The Racist.

Nikki Haley Was Through With Your Shit Five Minutes Ago

Pervert Governor Eric Greitens Tells Missouri GOP To Come And Take It

Who Does ICE Want To Deport Now? How About A Guy With Down Syndrome?

Barbara Bush Dies At 92. We're Sure It's Working Out Very Well For Her

Sean Hannity Can Haz ALL DONALD TRUMP'S LAWYERS?

Richard Cohen Still Has Job

World's Stupidest Chuck Todd Beginning To Doubt Fox News's Commitment To Sparkle Motion

Nikki Haley Claps Back. Wonkagenda For Wed., April 18, 2018

Ryan Zinke Says He's A Geologist, Is Full Of Schist.

Geraldo Wins Pulitzer For Excellence In TIME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT KENDRICK LAMAR

Thug Who Accosted Stormy Daniels Also Stole Tom Brady's Face

Justice Gorsuch Accidentally Forgets To Bone Immigrants For A Second, But Don't Worry, He'll Get Better

Jerry Brown Shoves California National Guard Up Trump's Ass. Ow, That Smarts!

Sandy Hook Parents Gonna Sue Alex Jones, Take All His Snake Oil Vitamin Money Away

Trump White House Gotta Throw Nikki Haley Under This Bus Real Fast, BRB

A Unified Theory Of WHAT THE FUCK Michael Cohen And Sean Hannity! It Might Even Be Right!

Scott Pruitt's $43,000 Cone Of Silence Was Illegal AF. Bet He's In Big Trouble Now.

TAKE AWAY THAT CELL PHONE FROM YOUR COMPANION RAT! HURRY! DO IT NOW!

Black Men Arrested For Grand Theft Sitting At Philadelphia Starbucks

The 436,287 Best Times Sean Hannity Tongue-Bathed His 'Lawyer' Michael Cohen On Live TV!

Dick's Sporting Goods Announces AR-Genda Of GUNOCIDE!

Hannity Denies Denies Denies Denies. Wonkagenda For Tues., April 17, 2018

It Was Sean Hannity, In Michael Cohen's Office, With A Boner (ALLEGEDLY)

For Trump So Loved The Poor That He Made Many, Many More Of Them

Kellyanne Conway Told The Truth, But Don't Worry, It Was By Accident

Corey Lewandowski Is Exactly As Dumb As He Looks

Trump Voter Fraud Dipshit Sued For Rank Assholery

James Comey Has A Higher Loyalty (To Himself)

Who Wore The Sunday Shows Worse? Santorum, Franklin Graham, Or Megs McCain?

Running For, Being 'President' A Pretty Good Racket For Donald Trump

Michael Cohen Real Fucked

White Guy Shoots At Innocent Black Teen And Actually Gets Arrested

Oh, James Comey, You Sassy Bitch! Wonkagenda For April 16, 2018

Midterm Madness: 'Iron Stache' Gets Ready To Punch A Nazi In Wisconsin's 1st

It's An April Ryan/Sarah Huckabee Sanders Death Match, And You Know That White Lady Ain't Winning

Senate Sunday: North Dakota's Heidi Heitkamp Laughed At Trump's Invitation To Join The Dark Side

The Week In Garbage Men: Misogynists Dream Of Electric(al) Women, MGTOW Poetry And More!

Kentucky Gov. Says Rallying Teachers Caused Kids To Be Raped, Do Drugs And Get Poisoned

Trump Bombs Syria, Declares 'Mission Accomplished' Like A Common Dubya

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Wondering When Our Long National Nightmare Will Be Over

HEY MICHAEL COHEN, SHOW US THAT FUCKIN' PASSPORT AGAIN!

Let's Close Out This Crazy Day With A Simple Story Of An Ex-Congressman's 23 Felony Convictions

These White Terrorists Were Just 'Knuckleheads,' Nothing To See Here, Go Home

Trump Buddy Paid Off His *Own* Playmate For $1.6 MILLION, And Guess Who Brokered The Deal!

Guess We'll Liveblog Sarah Huckabee Sanders's Lying Yip-Yap Session, Since Nothing Else Is Going On

Scott Pruitt Is Slovenly Garbage Person And His Bodyguard Is A Thug

Trump Pardons Scooter Libby, Because LOLOL We Live In Hell And Nothing Matters Anymore?

Pizzagate Crazy Roseanne Fave Says Hillary Clinton Carved A Witch Face On A Lady's Vagina. AND SO MUCH MORE!

What's It Called When Circling Shark Robert Mueller Combines With Stormy Daniels Tornado?

James Comey Says Trump Is Stinky Pee-Obsessed Liar, So That's Obviously FACTCHECK TRUE

Michael Cohen: I AM NOT A CROOK!

Trump Judge Nom Wendy Vitter: Was Segregation BAD? That Is For Her To Know And To Also Not Tell You!

Robert Mueller Already Knows How Guilty Trump Is, So Screw An Interview

This Is Stupid Watergate. Wonkagenda For Fri., April 13, 2018

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW 30-YEAR-OLD BABY, DONALD TRUMP!

Armed Teachers Update: Are We Safe Yet?

White House Plan To Vanquish LYIN' COMEY Is They Don't Know Yet, Fuck It

Is There More ICE Fuckery And Evil Today? Is It A Day In 2018?

Anchorage, Alaska, Voters Tell Bathroom Panty Sniffers To FUCK OFF

Steve Bannon Gonna Show Trump How To Dissolve Russia Investigation In An Acid-Filled Bathtub

Expert Multi-Tasker Donald Trump Still Finds Time To Sue His Way Out Of Taxes

Now Is The Time For Fifty Shades Of Missouri Gov Eric Greitens To GET THE FUCK OUT

What The Hell Did The Feds Want From Michael Cohen? We Are Getting A Glimmer Of An Idea!

Bannon's Back! Back Again! Bannon's Back! Tell A Friend! Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 12, 2018

Have You Met Our New Writers, A Nice Lady And Wonderbitch?

Fuck You Paul Ryan, The Pope Hates You And You're Going To Hell

Which GOP Congressman Cussed Trump To Erick Erickson At The Safeway? A WONKVESTIGATION!

Guess Jared Kushner Found $89 Million In His Couch Cushions To Buy Back His Devil Building! Huh!

Justice Department Helping Immigrants Get Home Sooner By Ending Legal Aid

David Horowitz Says Lynching Wasn't Racist, Except Against Whites

Wait, Trump LIED His Spray-Tanned Nuts Off About James Comey? How Could That BEEEEE?

EPA Guy Shitcanned For Deciding 'Scott Pruitt Sux Donkeys' Isn't A Death Threat

Oh, Shit! He's Really Going To Do It! Everybody PANIC!

Bakersfield's Sheriff Wants You To Die

Here Is Some Robert Mueller News, Because Trump's Ass Wasn't Itching Enough!

Paul Ryan 'Bout To Fuck Off Right Back To Janesville, Y'all!

Fuck You Guys, Paul Ryan's Out Of Here! Wonkagenda For Wed., April 11, 2018

Big News Day For Tucker Carlson, Obvs

Dear Nestlé, And Also Michigan, Please Eat A Bag Of Assholes

Not That The Trump Boys Would Threaten A Foreign Government, BUT ...

Laura Ingraham SAVES FREE SPEECH From Liberal Stalinist Hit Squads! Hooray!

Let's Watch Alex Jones Have P-In-V Sex With An American Flag While Roger Stone Watches

Kentucky Midterm Madness: Lady Fighter Pilot Dukes It Out With Nice Old Man To Take On Trump Doucher!

Welcome To The Senate, Republican Mississippi Lady! You Will Be There For Eight Months, Max.

A Very Sober And Serious Lawsplainer Of Michael Cohen's WORLD OF SHIT

Donald Trump: THE FBI TOOK MY STRAWBERRIES

Paul Manafort's Lawyers Throwing Fresh New Shits At Wall Again

Who Texas Ag Commissioner Gonna Call? Dr. Feelgood! Feelgood Make You Feel All Right!

Donald Trump Having A VERY Bad Day. Wonkagenda For Tues., April 10, 2018

Mazel Tov Tammy Duck ... OH SHIT THE FBI JUST RAIDED MICHAEL COHEN'S HOTEL AND OFFICE!

Maybe Donald Trump Shouldn't Have Handed China His County-By-County Electoral Map

Someone Who Is Good At The Economy Please Help Scott Pruitt, He Is A Idiot

Interior Official Thinks Parkland Shooting Was False Flag, Tried To Kill His Girlfriend

Department Of Homeland Security Wants To Keep List Of Journalists' 'Sentiment.' THIS IS FINE!

Hey, Can Trump Un-Sign This Budget Bill He Signed? Asking For Donald Trump

Trump Cabinet Not Too Busy Destroying Government To Have Bible Study With Idiot

Fox News Graphics Department All Fired, Again

Stormy Daniels, Woody Harrelson's Dad, And JFK's MURDERRRR Walk Into A Blog Post

Paul Manafort Will Throw This Hail Mary Pass Right Up His Butt!

The Towering Infernal President Didn't Want Any Stinking Sprinklers In His Beautiful Deadly Building

Bolton's Mustache Walks Into White House. Wonkagenda For Mon., April 9, 2018

Deleted Comments: You Know What Causes School Shootings? Porn And Not Loving The Founders.

Senate Sunday: In Tennessee, It's Former Gov. Phil Bredesen Vs. Actual Crazy Person Marsha Blackburn

The Week In Garbage Men: Tony Robbins, Ted Nugent And Your New Roommate Walk Into A Bar

Looks Like We Won't Have Blake Farenthold To Kick Around Anymore!

We Found It! The Stupidest (Non-Nazi) Website On The Internet!

Oklahoma Senate Might Fund Schools, If Only To Get All These Teachers Out Of Their Hair

Your Weekly Top Ten Is OMG LOOK THE EASTER BUNNY!

Kamala Harris Is President Of The 'Ellen' Show, And It Is GOD-DANG DELIGHTFUL!

Grifty Congressman Named 'Duncan' Isn't Even Duncan Hunter This Time!

Idaho GOP Hopeful Thrilled By Prospect Of Executing All The Abortion-Havers

How Pissed Putin Gonna Be About These Sanctions, On A Scale Of One To 'Guess I'll Poison Somebody'?

Trump's West Virginia Speech: A Dementiasplainer

Tennessee Republicans Still Not Ready To Say Nazis Bad, Because Reasons

Robert Mueller Would Like To Inform The Following People They Are WELL AND TRULY FUCKED

Donald Trump Bones Own Stormy Daniels Case, Without Prophylactic

Let's Art-Appreciate The Fuck Out Of These Dark-Money Anti-Muslim Ads, By A Doctor Of Rhetoric

GRIFTPOCALYPSE! Or, 'Scott Pruitt May Be In Wee Spot Of Bother'

Keep Fucking That Dairy Cow, Devin Nunes!

Scott Pruitt, Superfund Site! Wonkagenda For Fri., April 6, 2018

We Regret To Inform You There Is News About Donald Trump Jr. Checkin' Out His Dad's Shower Peen

Goodbye, Kevin Williamson! You Are Fired From The Atlantic Now! Goodbye!

Rex Tillerson Burned Down Deep State, Also State Department

Poor Nazis Can't Scrounge Up Enough Reichsmarks To Keep 'Stormfront' Website Open

Do Right-Wingers Just Not Understand How Buying In Bulk Works?

Nobody Told Us The Surgeon General Was SO EFFING HOT

Scott Pruitt Takes That Grift TO ELEVEN

Judge Says Bill O'Reilly Can't Keep His Gross Harassment Lawsuits Secret, Because She Wants To Ruin Our Lives

Robert Mueller's New Cooperating Witness Much Further Up Russia's Ass Than Previously Reported!

Trump Sure Pulling Out Will Work This Time. Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 5, 2018

Sean Hannity Can't Believe Savage Gargoyle Hillary Clinton Would Suggest Fox News Does Not Like Her

Donald Trump Still VERY Bad At Killing Obamacare

And Now, A Timely Reminder That Jared Kushner Is A Goddamn Moron

If Donald Trump Was Your Dad, You'd Have Taken Him To The Neurologist By Now

Martin Luther King Would (DID!) Have A Few Things To Say About American Policing Today

Roger Stone's Hotmail Account Dined With Your Mom Last Night

Donald Trump's China Tariffs Gonna Screw Over Iowa. Is Iowa Important For Politics?

Denver, Colorado, We Are Mile High, TONIGHT!

NICE TIME! Scott Walker Is Sooooo Sad

Trump Wants To Grab Mexico By The Posse Comitatus

Dumb Stupid Donald Trump SO EXCITED To Be A Subject Of Robert Mueller's Investigation!

Build The Wall Out Of Soldiers! Wonkagenda For Wed., April 4, 2018

Trey Gowdy Has A Black Friend

Today Was The Day Robert Mueller Put Somebody IN JAIL

How Does Scott Pruitt Find Time To Rape And Pillage Earth With All This Grifting?

Orange County, California, Almost Helped The Homeless. Whew, That Was Close!

Sinclair Execs Pretty Sure The Haters Are All Just Jealous Of How Awesome They Are

DOES ROGER STONE SHOCK YOU, ROBERT MUELLER? IS HE A VERY SHOCKING BOY?

Donald Trump Fucking Amazon To Own The Libs

In Which Paul Manafort Learns That Bob Mueller KEPT THE RECEIPTS

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Has No Further Comment On The Easter Story

Trump's Easter Message To The Children Was Some Weird Shit

Donald Trump Observed Autism Awareness Day. Oh Dear.

Donald Trump Forgot The Name 'White House.' Wonkagenda For Tues., April 3, 2018

Ted Nugent Says He Isn't Hate Speech, YOU'RE The Hate Speech!

Oklahoma Teachers Wa-Wa-Wa-WALKOUT (And Wonkette Is There!)

Laura Ingraham Taking 'Week Off' At Big Happy Farm Where She Can Run And Play With Bill O'Reilly

Trump's Executive Time Twitter Was Extra Loony This Morning!

New York Is Coming For Your Guns (If You've Been Convicted Of Domestic Violence)

Sacramento Sheriff Does Hit And Run To Lady At Stephon Clark Protest, Wingnuts Probably Still At Half-Chub

Wingnuts So Mad George Soros Made Sinclair Spread Conservative Propaganda

Former VA Secretary David Shulkin Swears 'I Can't Quit, You Fired Me!'

Donald Trump Celebrates The Risen Lord With Threats To Deport Jesús

Wichita Tonight And Denver On Wednesday, We Are On The Road Again!

We Got A Great Big Convoy! Wonkagenda for Mon., April 2, 2018

Midterm Madness: Devin Nunes Is Treading Water In California's 22nd.

Senate Sunday: For Ohio, Sherrod Brown Burns Brighter Than The Cuyahoga River. Wait, Let's Rephrase That...

It's Almost As If You Can't Casually Tweet About Wanting To Hang Women Who Have Abortions Anymore!

Ted Nugent Feels So Bad About How The Parkland Survivors Don't Have Souls

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Praying To The Risen Jesus That Trump Will Shut His Fucking Mouth This Weekend

Gun News Roundup: Who's A Nazi Today, Other Than Actual Nazis?

US Military Commanders Just Saying It Would Be Cool If Trump Pulled His Thumbs Out Of His Ass

This Elizabeth Esty Situation Is Fucked Up Six Ways From Sunday

Trump's Law & Order America: Woman Gets 5 Years For Illegal Vote, Actual Nazi War Criminal Still Free

Secretary Of Defense 'Diamond And Silk' Explains How Hillary Clinton Gave Russia Its First Nukes Ever, In 2010

The Teachers Book-Learned A Lesson From West Virginia: They're ALLLL On Strike!

Jefferson Butterbeans Sessions Gon' Do What He Wants, Donald Trump!

Donald Trump: What Is 'College'?

Shitmouth Strikes Again. Wonkagenda For Fri., March 30, 2018

In The Spirit Of Holy Week, Everybody Hates Laura Ingraham And Her Dumb Shitmouth

Nurse Jackie And Cynthia Nixon Want You To Throw The Fake Democrats OUT

Asshole Loan Company Is Screwing Over Teachers And Betsy DeVos Thinks That Is Awesome

Does Robert Mueller Have Some InfoWars Guy At Black Site, Just Like Crazy Twitter Says?

TripAdvisor Advises Laura Ingraham To Take A Long Trip To GO FUCK YOURSELF

If The Patriarchy Is Dead, Why Isn't Tucker Carlson Making Me A Sandwich Right Now?

DO NOT Meet Us In St. Louis!

Uh Oh, Has Robert Mueller Been A NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY BOY?

Want Trump To Hire You To Run The VA? Just Tell Him He's Not Fat

Michael Cohen's Lawyer David Schwartz Actually Worse At This Than Michael Cohen

We Regret To Inform You There Is More News About Donald Trump Jr.'s Rambunctious Penis

Laura Ingraham Can Beat Up Your Honor Student

Trump Makes VA Great Again With 'Girther' Doc. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 29, 2018

WHAT THE FUCK WAS TRUMP'S IDIOT RUSSIA LAWYER JOHN DOWD THINKING?

For A Beady-Eyed Little Pencil-Necked Fucker, Scott Walker Sure Has Some Balls

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Sean Penn Wrote Some Bullshit About #MeToo

Wisconsin Teens March 50 Miles To Yell About Guns On Paul Ryan's Lawn

A VERITABLE SMATTERING Of News About Cambridge Analytica And All Related Bullshit!

Nazi 'Weev' Mad At 'Crying Nazi' For Being A Big Ol' Narc

A NICE TIME, DAMMIT

Who Is This Handsome Young Lawyer, And Why Bob Mueller Gonna Throw Him IN JAIL?

Everybody Hitting 'OH SHIT!' Button To Protect Robert Mueller Right Now, But WHY THOUGH?

Cops Who Shot Alton Sterling Won't Face Justice. And The Cops Who Shot Stephon Clark...?

NRA Didn't Use Any Dirty Russian Money In 2016 Election ... Oh You Mean THAT Dirty Russian Money?

On A Scale Of One To Sarah Huckabee Sanders: Wonkagenda For Wed., March 28, 2018

Lexington, Kentucky, Let Us Shine Like The Moon!

Linda Brown, Of 'Brown V. Board of Education,' Dies At 75. Racism Ended, We're Sure

A Fucking Bible Lesson About Throwing Stones For Dumbass Trumper Rent-A-Pastor Greg Locke

Who Wants To Repeal The Second Amendment? Wonkette Raises Both Hands!

Fox News Vs. The Teens. Sorry, Fox.

Joe Arpaio *Finally* Going To Impeach Obama

The Two Best Times Stormy Daniels's Lawyer Was SO FUCKIN' HOT The Past 24 Hours, Because We Only Saw Him On TV Twice

Briefly Lucid Pat Robertson Likes These Young Folks Marching For Gun Reform. Huh!

Donald Trump's Daily Dicks 'N' Lawyers Roundup!

Sad And Lonely Trump Misses His Old Wife-Beaty Friend Rob :(

Oh, Just Some Bannon Pals Trying To Pay A Lawyer To Lie About His Roy Moore-Accusin' Client, No Big

Trust Me. Wonkagenda For Tues., March 27, 2018.

Happy 78th Birthday, Nancy Pelosi! Your Present Won't Be Here Until November But It Is This Gavel

Fox News Spanks Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin Right In His Fucked Up Face

A Million Kids Just TOOK YER GUNS On Uncle Sam's Lawn. Here's What They Said.

Tammy Baldwin Gonna Teach CEOs About Sharing, Like Some COMMUNIST DICTATOR OF PRESCHOOL

How Are Rightwing Jerks Lying About Florida School Shooting Survivors Today?

Trump Administration Does Literal Least It Can Do To Punish Russia For Spy Poisoning Attack

Is Donald Trump Gonna Wind Up With A Public Defender?

Stormy Daniels's '60 Minutes' Interview Woulda Been Way Better If Anderson Cooper Had Asked Her Questions

Sunshine On Our Shoulders, West Virginia To Denver, Wonkette's Comin' On Home

Rick Santorum Is Fucking Asshole

Jailbird Coal CEO Don Blankenship Ready To Blow Up US Senate

Books Not Bullets! Wonkagenda For Mon., March 26, 2018

The Children Are Here, And They're FUCKING MAGNIFICENT

Trump Wants Trans Troops Kicked Out Of The Military (Or Back Into The Closet)

Hello, And Welcome To Your Wonkette #MarchForOurLives Livethread!

Your Weekly Top Ten Says GO GET 'EM, YOU BADASS GUN-GRABBIN' MARCHIN' KIDS!

We Are In DC, Gon' TAKE YOUR FUCKING GUNS :D

Donald Trump Deigns To Not Fucking Shut Down Government In Today's Manic Frenzy

That Is Not What 'Lovesick' Is

Court Orders Scott Walker To Stop Fucking The Badger

Sacramento Cops Shoot Unarmed Man Dead For Holding Cell Phone While Black

Trump Tried To Pay Karen McDougal For Sex, Because She's Almost As Hot As Ivanka! (ALLEGEDLY)

You're Not Gonna Believe This, But Another Lawyer In The White House Would Like To Quit

Trump Hires John Bolton As New National Security Adviser, We Are All Going To Die

Trump Quit-Fires Last Grown-Up In White House. Wonkagenda For Fri., March 23, 2018

Ew Gross, That Lady Made Another Song About Rubbing Nakeds With Donald Trump Jr.

A Children's Treasury Of No Good, Very Bad Austin Bomber Takes

Ex-Sheriff With 37 Pieces Of Flair Just Asking If Old Handsome Joe Biden Is Gay Homosexual

No Need To Worry About Toxic Sludge After Hurricane Harvey. Nobody's Testing For It!

John Dowd, The Last Sane Person On Trump's Legal Team, Just Noped Out

Did Saudi Prince Torture A Guy On Jared Kushner's Info? This Is Not 'Good'

Robert Mueller Just Wondering If Trump Taking Bribes From Handful Of Arab Kingdoms, Totally Normal

Who Made Ben Carson's Wife Buy That $31,000 Dinette Set? The Deep State, Obviously!

Serious Senator Jeff Flake Begs Donald Trump To Please Not Make Congress Impeach Him

Through Snow And Rain And Sleet And Hail: It's New York And DC Drinky Things!

Did Jeff Sessions Just Plum Fergit He Was Under Investigation For LIES?

Whatever Pee Tape Russia Has On Donald Trump Must Be DISGUSTING. A VERY MAD Lesson On Recent Russian History!

Robert Mueller's Been Looking Up Cambridge Analytica's Dress. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 22, 2018

Uh Oh, Looks Like There's A Gay Bunny-Shaped Crack In Mike Pence's Gay-Hatin' Armor!

That Time A Dachshund Almost Got Murdered Because Two Dipsh*ts Couldn't Stop Fighting About Seth Rich

Legal Fuckery In ANOTHER Trump Nekkid Lady Payoff? CLUTCH PEARLS!

Steve Bannon Stole Your Nana's Facebook Secrets For Cambridge Analytica, Rubbed 'Em All Over His Junk

Old Mad Colonel OUTRAGED To Discover He's Worked At Fox News For 10 Years

Trump Admin Wants Your Teenager To Get Pregnant Again

How Much This Federal Judge Haaaaate Kansas Vote Suppresser Kris Kobach? Maybe A Little!

WHY WHY WHY Is Trump Such A Beta Cuck Every Time He Talks To Vladimir Putin?

Here's More Dumb Breaking Trump Lawyer News, About Trump's Dumb Broken Lawyers!

Austin Bomber Blows Self Up

How Much Can We Squeeze Into Today's Trump Weener Roundup? A Serious Post Written By A Lawyer

KA-FUCKIN-BOOM. Wonkagenda For Wed., March 21, 2018

Here Are The 579,852 Dirtiest Cambridge Analytica Scoops In Channel 4's New Video!

An Exegesis Of Aubrey O'Day's Gross, Dumb, Don Trump Jr.-Boning Song, By A Doctor Of Rhetoric

That Cambridge Analytica Video Sure Did Land Like A Hot Turd!

Crisis Pregnancy Centers Make Case To SCOTUS For Their Right To Trick The Pregnant

Austin Bomber May Or May Not Be White Supremacist Dickhole But We're Guessing He Is

Pretty Sure Donald Trump Just Added The 'My Pillow' Guy To His Team Of Rent-A-Lawyers

Supreme Court Tells Pennsylvania GOP To Eat It, My, Isn't That Sad

Trump's Opioid 'Plan': First Thing We Do, Let's Kill All The Drug Dealers

Too Many Kids Dying From Drugs, Trump Wants To Kill Them Instead. Wonkagenda For Tues., March 20, 2018

Cambridge Analytica DID NOT Use Ukrainian Prostitutes As Honeyp ... Oh, You Mean THEM?

My Goodness, Why Are We Being So Mean To That Nice Hope Hicks???

Yay, Ryan Zinke Just Saved The Endangered Animals By Letting Trump Sons Murder Them More!

Shit Meets Fan For Cambridge Analytica And Facebook. 'BOUT GODDAMN TIME.

Tennessee Republicans Pretty Sure Nazi Lives Matter Too

Slumlord Jared Kushner Gave Rats To Your Nana

It's Always Time To March On Drinking Liberally In Philadelphia

Keep It Up, Donald Trump. You're Just Making Robert Mueller's Job Easier.

Stormy Daniels Ain't The Only One Who Signed Trump's NDA (This Is A Clickbait Headline)

Robert Mueller Too Cool For Trump's Bullshit. Wonkagenda For Mon., March 19, 2018

Midterm Madness: Donna Shalala Rolls Into Florida's 27th District Like A Hurricane

Deleted Comments: Guess Abortion Got Outlawed And We Completely Missed It

Steel Yourself For Wonkette's Pittsburgh Drinky Thing, Right This Dang Afternoon!

The Week In Garbage Men: Love In The Time Of The Deplorables

O.J. Simpson, Of All People, Thinks He Has Room To Criticize Colin Kaepernick

Trump Lawyer Says Stormy Daniels Owes Him $20 Million For Not Shutting Up About Banging Trump

Andrew McCabe Fired, Because That's What Gets Trump's Dick Wet

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Celebrating Another Successful Infrastructure Week

Oh So Mike Pence Is Allowed To Be Alone With GAY GUYS He's Not Married To. Gotcha.

Geraldo Rivera Is Trying To Keep Anthony Scaramucci From Losing His Shit, So That Is A Thing That Is Happening

Eligible #MAGA Bachelor Loves Trump, Long Walks On The Border Wall, And Bombing Clinics And Mosques. Swipe Right!

FBI And DHS: Russian Hackers Calling From Inside The House

Buzzfeed Takes Michael Cohen To Law School, For Maybe His First Time

Steven Mnuchin Has Million-Dollar Military Jet Habit

BREAKING: Something Is Happening

Kris Kobach's Top Expert Flagged Voters For Fraud Because They Were Named, Like, 'Jose'

ICE Was Looking For Someone Else. These Parents Of Six Died Fleeing From Them.

How Many Women Got Paid Off To Keep Quiet About Bumpin' Uglies With Donald Trump? Couple Few!

Donald Trump Jr. Almost As Good At Marriage As He Is At Having A Normal Human Face

Chicago, Take Away The Greatest Part Of Me! (TONIGHT!)

Putin Is Watching You Masturbate. Wonkagenda For Fri., March 16, 2018

Tucker Carlson Has Big Sad For Nazi Flakes Not Allowed Into U.K.

Who's Your Next Shooter? That Weird Kid, Right?

Robert Mueller At The Front Door Of Trump Tower Right Now Like KNOCK KNOCK, MOTHERFUCKER!

Not Sure How To Say This, But Devin Nunes Is Stupider Than We Thought

Torture's Back, So Liz Cheney Called Rand Paul A Terrorist Symp (UPDATED)

Can Seth Rich's Grieving Parents 'Gawker' Fox News Out Of Existence?

OMG You Guys, The Trump Administration Is Being Vaguely Sorta Kinda Mean To Russia Right Now!

Wisconsin Parents Pretty Darn Upset When 'White Privilege' Discussion Sneaks Into MLK Day!

MADISON, Wisconsin, Behold The Mermaid! (The Mermaid Is Wonkette, TONIGHT!)

Donald Trump Brags About Making Shit Up, Because Only Losers Need 'Facts'

Stupid Trump Thinks He's Good At Presidenting Now, So Let's Fire Everybody Some More!

All These Trump Lawyers Suing Stormy Daniels Still Have Nothing To Do With Trump

Will Jeff Sessions Fire Andrew McCabe And Steal His Pension Just To Make President Shit Baby Happy?

Trump Just Yammering About Some Made-Up Shit. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 15, 2018

Look At Your Amazing Babies, America, Part Two: Electric Gun Control Boogaloo

Fox News Idiot Heather Nauert Gets To Be Boss Of Three Bureaus At State Department, Yay!

Hey, About Those Armed Teachers: They Really Need To Stop Shooting Students.

Days Of Our Nazis: White Nationalist Arrested For Battery, Kept It All In The Family

Look At These Beautiful Children And Their Gun Control WALKOUT! LOOK AT THEM!

LORDY, Adam Schiff Is Pretty Sure There Are Tapes!

Stephen Hawking Has Left The Universe

Minneapolis/St. Paul, We're Gonna Make It Tonight After All!

It Would Appear Our Boy Conor Lamb Kicked That Republican Dork's Ass

ICE Guy Done Working For Gestapo, Thank You

March Goes Out With A Lamb! Wonkagenda For Wed., March 14, 2018

You Want PA-18 Election Results? WELL POST THEM YOUR FUCKING SELVES

Trump White House Loses Last Fuckable Guy

BREAKING: Trump Fires Everyone Who Ever Spoke Tillerson's Name, Including YOU

Is 'Princess Black Sites' Really The Best Person Trump Could Pick To Run The CIA?

Who's Hotter? SEXXXY CONOR LAMB Or Deformed Pig Baby Donald Trump Jr. Wearing A Hairnet?

Kris Kobach Shits Bed Again On Kansas Vote Trial's Fourth Day. Really, Just All The Shit

House Intel Republicans All Finished Pretending To Investigate Russia Now

Take A Nap, Rex Tillerson, You Are No Longer Employed!

Russia Fires Rex Tillerson. Wonkagenda For Tues., March 13, 2018.

Fargo, North Dakota, It's A Beautiful Day!

Theresa May Gonna Put Putin In A Lorry TO PAIN TOWN, Population HIM!

Stix Nix Dix After Lobbyist Kix, Pix

Trump's Best Russian Spy Buddy Felix Sater? You Mean GREATEST AMERICAN HERO Felix Sater!

Michigan Snowflake Is The Rosa Parks Of 18-Year-Olds Who Need To Buy Shotguns

Betsy DeVos Sprays Stupid-Juice All Over Lesley Stahl In '60 Minutes' Interview

Chuck Todd Is Really, Really Butthurt About Trump Calling Him Dirty Cuss Names

Whatever You Do, DON'T Watch Stormy Daniels Interview On '60 Minutes'! -- Michael Cohen, Superlawyer

Trump Announces Gun Plan To Do Absolutely Nothing About Guns (Except Ban Abortion, Probably)

Robert Mueller's Investigation Will Be Over When It's Fucking Over, You Hear That, Donald Trump?

Don't Watch, Just Read The Top Seven Fuckbonkers Things Donald Trump Said In Pennsylvania!

A Gun In Every Classroom. Wonkagenda For Mon., March 12, 2018

Midterm Madness: Illinois 5th, and the Lying, Lady-Punching Douchebag

Senate Sunday: In Florida, It's Bill Nelson Versus Voldemort

March Sure Has Been A Shit Month For Abortion Rights

Oh Come Off It, Bari Weiss.

Michael Cohen, Lawyer Extraordinaire And A Week Of Stormy Weather

Stacey Dash's MSNBC Interview Woulda Gone Better If Host Hadn't Asked Her Questions

Your Weekly Top Ten Can't Believe That Sam Nunberg Shit Was Only Five Days Ago

Pharma-Douche Gets Karma-Douched: Martin Shkreli Gets Seven Years In JAIL!

Cliven Bundy's 'Legal Idiot' Son Ryan Running For Governor Of Nevada Legal Idiots

Ryan Zinke Spending $139,000 On Office Doors? THANKS OBAMA.

Will Bari Weiss And David Brooks Write Op-Eds About These Trumpers Threatening To Burn Down A Bookstore?

Did Russia Tell Trump To Bitch Constantly About The 2016 Election Being #RIGGED? We Are Just Asking Questions!

Alabama Fixin' To Throw Thousands Of Kids Off Medicaid For Their Own Good

Sherrod Brown And Liz Warren Are Not Having Your Banking Bill Crap!

Paul Manafort: So Fucked

Justice Kennedy About To Quit SCOTUS, According To Full-Of-Shit GOP Senator

Peace In Our Time! Donald Trump Can't Possibly Go Wrong In Meeting Kim Jong Un

The Daily Caller Has A New Mommyblogger, It Is Just OLEG DERIPASKA, No Big!

Trump Starts A Trade War Because He Can. Wonkagenda For Fri., March 9, 2018

This Is Just A Really Good Campaign Ad To Watch On International Women's Day

We Have Another Example Of Liberal Fascism For Bari Weiss, It Is These Ghosts Haunting Milo Yiannopoulos?

We Got Your Latest Trump Pee Hooker News RIGHT HERE!

Federal Judge Thinks Kris Kobach Is An Asshole Too

Tennessee Must Let Adults Marry Children, Or Else The Gays Have Won

Now For Sarah Huckabee Sanders With The Porn Report

Looks Like Russia Tried To Murder Somebody Over THE DOSSIER, So That's Shocking

Rick Perry Is Stupid

Hey, Can Trump Talk To Mueller's Witnesses? Is That Kosher Or LOL?

Federal Court: Funeral Home Has To Bury Transgender Discrimination Six Feet Under

You're Not Gonna Believe This, But Erik Prince Lied To Congress

We're Not Saying Devin Nunes Leaked To Michael Cohen. But We're Not Saying He *Didn't*!

Snitches Get Stitches. Wonkagenda For March 8, 2018

Is Wonkette's GET YOUR GUNS OFF MY LAWN Tour Coming At YOU NEXT WEEK? (Yes.)

Bad Campus Feminists Leading Nice Young Ladies Into Consensual Sex And Volunteer Work

Jeff Sessions Sues California For Not Helping ICE Round Up Your Mom

Trey Gowdy Calls For Second Special Counsel To Investigate DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP

YAY, Donald Trump's Evil Idiot Sons Will Get To Bring Home Their Bloody Elephant Tails!

Robert Mueller Gonna 'SAYS WHO' Right Up Trump Lawyer Michael Cohen's Ass

No, Gary Cohn, You're Still Not Invited To Seder!

Little Girl Meets That Pretty Lady In The Painting

Ted Cruz Being Hilarious Dick Again, Plus All Your Texas Primary Action!

Robert Mueller's New Cooperating Witness Might Just Blow Trump's Russian Conspiracy WIDE OPEN

Is Michael Cohen TOO GOOD At Law? Let's Ask The Porn Star Suing The President.

Storm A-Comin'. Wonkagenda For Wed., March 7, 2018

Devin Nunes Too Upset About Stephen Colbert To Even Fuck A Cow Right Now :(

Trump Family Planning Strategy Will Have All Your 16-Year-Olds Pragnet IN NO TIME!

West Virginia Senate Solves Teachers Strike With Medicaid Cuts Only Paul Ryan Could Love

If Nashville Mayor Megan Barry Should Stay, She Would Only Be In Your Way ...

Devin Nunes, Cow Detective, Knows *Australia* Was The Collusion!

Texas Arrests 'False Flag' Jerks Harassing Pastor Whose Daughter Was Shot, For Being Stupid Idiots

Oh Fuck Off, Axios

Did Donald Trump Stiff Greatest Ever Super-Lawyer Michael Cohen For Porn Star Payoff?

Fox With Day's MOST TOP News: That Geraldo Rivera Wants To Bone On Ivanka Trump

Sam Nunberg Went To CNN And MSNBC For More Free Therapy Last Night. It Did Not Go Well.

Dana Loesch Real Tough When There's No Florida Kid Calling Her A Vampire To Her Face

Robert Mueller Over-Serves Sam Nunberg. Wonkagenda For Tues., March 6, 2018

And Then Sam Nunberg Bit His Own Dick Off On Jake Tapper's CNN Show LOLOL TOTALLY NORMAL

Hey Conservatives, It's Not Our Fault That You Suck At Art.

HOLY FUCK, WHAT DID TRUMP IDIOT SAM NUNBERG JUST DO ON KATY TUR'S MSNBC SHOW?

Mike Huckabee Quit-Fired By Country Music For Being Too Much Of A Bigot Dick

ACLU Tells ICE To Knock Off The Nazi Shit

Equifax Real Sorry It Let Hackers Steal Your Driver's License, But It's Not Their Fault.

The 432,696 Hottest Scoops In Jane Mayer's Profile Of Christopher Steele, Trump Dossier Super-Spy!

Stacey Dash Invites Herself To California's Republican Party

Senate Prepares To Help 'Small Banks' Just Like Republican Tax Cuts Helped 'Middle Class'

West Virginia Senate Still Dicking Teachers Around, Because Of How They Are Dicks

Just Enough Of What You Need To Know About Trump's Tariffs/Trade War!

Another Week, Another Million GUESS WHAT ROBERT MUELLER IS DOING Stories!

Make Dumpster Diving Great Again! Wonkagenda For Mon., March 5, 2018

Senate Sunday: Will Beto O'Rourke Beat Ted Cruz In A Boat? Will He Beat Him With A Goat?

Deleted Comments: Is This Some Kind Of Cult? You Can ALL Burn In HELL! Also, I Own 20 Assault Rifles.

Conservatives So Mad Facebook Thought They'd Think Satire Was Real, Just Cause They Do That All The Time

Roy Moore Is Broke, Hopes You Can Spare A Dime To Help Him Fight One Of His Accusers In Court

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Sleeping Right Now, Please Shut Up With Your So-Called 'Breaking News'

How To Reduce Gun Injuries: Just Send All Gun-Humpers Off To An NRA Convention, Forever.

Fuck Yes, We'll Read Hope Hicks's Diary

Professor Elizabeth Warren Grades Betsy DeVos's First Year, Is All Out Of Fs To Give

Is Ivanka Trump A Dirty, Dirty Girl? FBI 'Counterintelligence' Is Just Wondering!

STRIKE ON! West Virginia Senate Tells Teachers To Fuck Off With That Raise The Gov Promised

Everybody Wants To GTFO Of The Trump White House, So It Sucks How Big Lots Probably Won't Hire Them

Adam Rippon Went On The Ellen Show And It Was !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They're The Utah Republicans And They're Here To Say! Something, We Don't Know, We Made Dok Watch It

Devin Nunes Has Leaking Fever, Only Cure Is More Cow

Everything About This School Gun Story Is Sad And Horrible

Robert Mueller Just Now Getting To The Fun Part Of His Investigation

Knock Knock, Ivanka, FBI Calling! Wonkagenda For Fri., March 2, 2018

L'SHANA TOVA, BITCHES, From Your Best Wonkette!

The 'Moonies' Mass-Marrying Their Guns: A Fashion DO!

Donald Trump Coming For Your Guns Like A Common Barack Obama

Senate Intel Committee Gonna Kick Devin Nunes's Traitor Ass Behind The Gym After Third Period

Big News Day For Hannity And Tucker Carlson! Scary Messicans, Hillary Clinton, And Some Mad Cracker

Trump Wouldn't Like Jeff Sessions When He's Angry, JK He's An Adorable Old Racist Elf

NICE TIME! Georgia Civil Rights Worker Not Guilty Of Blackness, We Mean Voter Fraud!

Robert Mueller Knows Who Is The Collusion, And It Is Donald Trump And His Cat Butthole Mouth!

Hey, NRA Gunhumpers! How 'Bout You Leave (((Us))) Out Of Your Bullshit, 'Kay?

Now #Teens Gonna Save The Climate, Earth. WHAT CAN'T THEY DO!!!

Jared Kushner Basically The Guy In Fargo Covered In Flop-Sweat Trying To Fake The VIN's On His Car Lot Now

Ben Carson Spends $165,000 On 'Lounge Furniture' While Making Sure Poor Aren't Too 'Cozy'

Jeff Sessions Gets Ready For War. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 1, 2018

HOPE HICKS! HOPE! HOPE! HOPE! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? HOPE!

Jeff Sessions 'Bout Had It Up To Here With Donald Trump's Chicken-Pluckin' BUUUUULLLLL-SHIT

Georgia Teacher Arrested In Gun Incident, More Armed Teachers Might Not Have Been Helpful

Supreme Court Bails On Constitution For Legal Immigrants, Because Who's Gonna Stop Em, Trump?

Robert Mueller Is About To Hit The Fucking Bull's Eye On Trump-Russia, And It Will Be HOLY SHIT

Oh Nothing, Just Panamanian Riot Cops Storming Trump Tower, We're Sure It's Fine.

America's Greatest Artist, Jon McNaughton, Proudly Presents Donald Trump's Sad Wrinkled...Flag

West Virginia Teachers' Strike VICTORY Gives EVERYONE Eat!

Jared Kushner Fucked How Many Ways From Sunday? All Of Them, Katie

Hope Hicks, WHITE LIAR!

John Kelly Kicks Jared Kushner From Top Secret Band. Wonkagenda For Wed., Feb. 28, 2018

The Top Two Sickest Pete Souza #TrumpBurns In The Past 48 Hours, Because He Only Did It Twice

Weird That Ben Carson And The Wedding Planner Are Making Such A Hot Mess At HUD!

Alex Jones And Erick Erickson Feeling #Triggered By Florida #Teen David Hogg, Need #SafeSpace NOW

It's Three PM. Do You Know Which Armed Militia Whackjobs Are Guarding Your Children?

Hope Hicks Single And Ready To Mingle At House Intelligence Committee Today!

West Virginia Teachers Seem Not To Understand SOMEBODY Has To Be 48th In Teacher Pay

Eric Holder Sues Scott Walker: STOP FUCKING THAT BADGER!

Local Man Pretty Sure There Are AT LEAST 1,000 Naked Lady Pictures In The World

Carter Page Says Sean Hannity Is The Edward R. Murrow Of His Wet Dreams

It's 'Special Rights' When Gay People Want Cake, But Airplane Discount For NRA Is GOD-FUCKING-GIVEN

Looks Like Somebody's Got A Case Of The Tuesdays! Wonkagenda For Tues., Feb. 27, 2018

O Hai Please Join Wonkette As We Travel To The Teens' March For Our Lives ON YOUR MANY DIMES!

Trump Solves Opioid Crisis: 1. Become Dictator Of Philippines; 2. Kill Everyone; 3. ???; 4. PROFIT!

Hey Pissed-Off High School Kids! These Colleges Want YOU (To Tell Your Principal To Fuck Off And Go Protest Guns)

Mona Charen Probably Would Have Gotten A Better Reception At CPAC If She Were An Actual Nazi

Donald Trump, Florida AG Pam Bondi To Be Your Personal Rambo At All America's Schools

Second Circuit Brings Happy Gay Nicetimes, Tells Jeff Sessions To Get Fucked

Did Devin Nunes Fuck A Bad Cow Before He Went On 'Fox & Friends'?

Rick Santorum Demands Single Moms Face Justice For Shooting Up Florida School

Ivanka Trump Would Thank You To Shut Your Stupid Face Hole About Her Gross Perv Daddy!

Lo Unto Us A Democratic Memo Is Given, To Beat Devin Nunes On The Ass With!

Donald Trump Would Like His Personal Pilot To Head The FAA, Or Maybe Solve Middle East, One Or The Other

Trump Wants To Run FAA Like Trump Shuttle. Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 26, 2018

Deleted Comments: From Hell's Heart I Stab At Thee! I Will Never Stop Until Wonkette Debates Me!

The Week In Garbage Men: Misogynist Sites 'Return of Kings' And 'A Voice For Men' Now Official Hate Groups

2018 Midterm Madness: Sucking The Soul From South Carolina's Good Old Boys

Hey, Paul Manafort! Remember All That Shit You Pulled To Sell The World On The Ukrainian Dictator? Robert Mueller Remembers!

Trump Nazi Sebastian Gorka Declares That 2016 Election Proved Existence Of God

Missouri GOP IS Dogwhistling Past The Graveyard In Wake Of Greitens Indictment

Triggering The Libs: A How-To Guide For Conservatives

Your Weekly Top Ten Really Wouldn't Wanna Be Paul Manafort Right About Now

Please Send Wonkette To The #Teens' March For Our Lives, Because I Really Fucking Want To Go

Rick Gates: OK Fine I Am Guilty, But Can I Pleeeeeeeeease Go To Spring Break?

Rick Gates, Fucking Dummy, Tried To Put One Over On Bob Mueller. A Lawsplainer!

A Wonkette Pat On The Head For ... Rick Scott's Proposed Gun Reforms? Huh!

Did Cheatin' Nashville Mayor Megan Barry Do Naked Time On The Public Dime? SOLID MAYBE!

Florida School's Armed Sheriff's Deputy Didn't Stop Shooter. Too Bad He Wasn't A Math Teacher.

Missouri Gov Eric Greitens Is Fifty Shades Of Fucked

The 562,829 Best Times Paul Manafort And Rick Gates Were SUCH A IDIOT In Robert Mueller's Latest Indictments

Ted Cruz Does Not Like Lisa Simpson In A Boat, Does Not Like Her With A Goat

CPAC Sets The World On Fire. Wonkagenda For Fri., Feb. 23, 2018

This 'Tennessee Idiot For Governor' Commercial Is The Gayest Fucking Thing I Have Seen All Week

New Lady Gateway Pundit Basically Jim Hoft Dressed Up As Russian Drag Queen

NRA Spokeswoman Dana Loesch Being A Vampire, Again

Robert Mueller Has Barely Even Begun To Kick Paul Manafort In The Dick

Marco Rubio YA BURNT By A Bunch Of #Teens, And We Are HERE FOR IT

Donald Trump Wants Miss McGrory, Third Grade Teacher, Packing Like Rambo

Wingnuts Magic Up Novel Legal Theory About Michael Flynn's Innocence, Are Pathetic :(

Bet Robert Mueller Thinks This Devin Nunes Tweet Is REAL Funny

Trump Holds After School Shooting Special. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Feb. 22, 2018

Look At Your Teenagers, America. Be PROUD Of Your Teenagers, America!

House GOP Holding Background Checks Hostage To Demand LOOSER Gun Laws!

Dear Pissed-Off High School Kids: If Adults Threaten To Punish You For Protesting, FUCKING DO IT ANYWAY

Let's Remember Why We're All Yelling About Guns Again

Trump's Obsession With Proving His Dick Is Even Half As Big As Obama's Is Getting KINDA Ridiculous

Fuck Your Thoughts And Prayers, Joe Barton!

President Pussy Caves To Teenagers Who Were Mean To Him On Twitter. GOOD.

BREAKING: Convicted Felon Dinesh D'Souza Is Vile Piece Of Shit. Who Knew!

Now Sarah Huckabee Sanders Is Yelling At Fox, That Is How Bad Her Job Sucks Now :(

Trump Just Let Insurers Cut You Off In The Middle Of Chemo. Again.

Gun Nuts Shoot Moral Compasses To Smithereens. Wonkagenda For Wed., Feb. 21, 2018

Sally Field Will Be Adam Rippon's Mother-In-Law If It's The Last Damn Thing She Does

Be Your Own Pennsylvania Mapfucker, With These Gerrymandered JIGSAW PUZZLES!

Robert Mueller Just Cold Charging Folks Trump's Never Heard Of Now, Just To Fuck With Him

Tomi Lahren Demands Liberals Stop Shooting Christians To Death With Assault Mockery

Whoops! New Dating Site For Trump Supporters Hires Sex Creep Spokesmodel

Robert Mueller All Up In Jared Kushner's Fucked Up Money Business Again, Oh Shit!

Trump Endorses Mitt Romney, Who Just Can't Thank That Awful Nazi-Lover Enough

Jill Abramson Asks If We Should Impeach Clarence Thomas, And WONKETTE ANSWERS!

And The Red States Shall Lead Them -- A Steaming Heap Of Bullshit From Flyover Prophet David Brooks

Gateway Pundit: Are Parkland High Kids AGENTS OF THE DEEP STATE? He Is Just Libeling!

Trump Staffers Just Love How Mass Shootings Let Them Catch Some Well-Deserved R&R

Trump Glad Everyone Busy With Dead Kids. Wonkagenda For Tues., Feb. 20, 2018.

Relax! Mister Rogers Is Not Trending For Anything Bad!

Tomi Lahren Doesn't Rhetoric Good, By A Ph.D. In Rhetoric

He's A Dishwasher At Chili's. She Babysits Sometimes But Not Usually. BUDGET: FIVE MILLION DOLLARS

Be The Polish Freedom Cow You Want To See In The World!

Be An Orange, Not A Whorange!

Emma Gonzalez Will Be The Boss Of You

Tammy Duckworth To Teach US Senate Where Babies Come From

Hey, NRA: The Kids Have Some Thoughts And Prayers For You Too

President Psycho Dick Spent His Holiday Weekend Tweeting, Because Of Course He Did

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Gun. Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 19, 2018

2018 Midterm Madness: Democrats In Texas' 7th Shooting Rockets Up John Culberson's Lazy Ass.

GOP Lying Out Their Asses About The Mueller Indictments? UNPOSSIBLE!

Deleted Comments: Sure, Oklahoma Can't Pay Teachers Or Cops, But At Least We Aren't In Debt.

The Week In Garbage Humans: 'Trump Curse' Prevented Lindsey Vonn From Getting A Medal

President Fuck-Your-Feelings Is All Smiles For School Shooting Photo-ops

Steve Bannon Tells House Intelligence Committee To Get Fucked, Provokes Riot In Wonkette Chatcave

The Kids Of Stoneman Douglas High Would Like You To Kindly Stuff Your Thoughts, Prayers And Guns, Please

Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Just LOVES Mueller Time

Here Is Adam Rippon SING-SKATING To Rihanna, Because Of Course He Is

Just Donald Trump Raw-Dogging A Playboy Model, Sorry About Your Lunch

ROBERT MUELLER GONNA STICK THESE INDICTMENTS UP RUSSIA'S ASS NOW

MittBott 2.018 Back And Ready To Represent Utah, Inevitably Offend It

Mitch McConnell Just DELIGHTED To Deport Dreamers Up Shit Creek

Panicking Conservatives Decide To 'Whatever' School Shootings, Pivot To Abortion

Looks Like Robert Mueller Has A New Little Buddy, And It Is Rick Gates!

Better Hope This Grifty Fucker Keeps Job Running VA Because The Alternative Would Be SO MUCH WORSE

Nation's Idiots Rush To Explain Why Florida School Massacre Isn't About Guns

Senate Gives Dreamers ICE Nightmares. Wonkagenda For Friday, Feb. 16, 2018

There Is Another Gay One In The Olympics And He Says Trump And Pence Can Eat Yellow Snow Too

Stormy Daniels Got A Blue Dress Too! (OR IS IT GOLD?)

Of Course Florida School Shooter Was A Girl-Hating White Supremacist. Of Course I Am Tired Of Writing This Article.

Idaho Helps Murder Obamacare With Illegal Fuck-You Plans Penalizing Pre-Existing Conditions.

Boy Howdy, Trump Is NOT Gonna Like This Reince Priebus Interview

How Could Such A Tragedy Happen Again After The Last Time We Did Absolutely Nothing?

Chuck Grassley Saying The Coverup Part Out Loud Again

Dennis Prager's The Blacks Are The Happiest The Blacks, He Can Hear Them Singing From Inside The House

Trump's Spy Chiefs: Russia's Going To Fuck Us In 2018. Trump: FAAAAAAAAAART.

Bullets Trump Thoughts, Prayers. Again. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Feb. 15, 2018

How One Man Fought And Beat The System To Give Money To Wonkette AGAINST ALL ODDS!

How Many Laws Did Michael Cohen, President's Lawyer, Break For Porn Star Payoff? Couple Few Maybe!

BuzzFeed's Gonna Find The Trump Pee Tape If It's The Last Damn Thing They Do

New York Teamsters Going All 'Sanctuary Union' To Protect Members From ICE Goon Squads

New York Times Hires And Fires Nazi-Friend-Having Lady

DONALD TRUMP JR. GONNA NEED TO SHUT HIS DEFORMED FACE ABOUT AMERICA'S SWEETHEART ADAM RIPPON

EPA Boss Scott Pruitt, Man Of Wealth And Taste, Just Can't Get Enough Of First-Class Air Travel

Portland And Spokane, We Gon Pizza And Beer You!

Top Seattle ICE Lawyer Stoled Immigrants' Identities To Do Credit Card Fraud. Is That Bad?

PA Governor Tom Wolf Tells The GOP Mapfuckers To Get Fucked

Mazel Tov! Creepy Nazi Cult Finds Tennessee Compound Of Its Dreams!

Michael Cohen Paid Stormy Daniels $130,000 Of His Own Lunch Moneys, Because That's What Friends Are For

Milwaukee Thirsty For Justice, Charges Jailers In Sheriff David Clarke's Chamber Of Horrors Dehydration Death

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Is The Real Victim Here!

Happy Valentine's From Sarah Huckabee Sanders! Wonkagenda For Wed., Feb 14, 2018

Sean Hannity Swallows Obama's Fake Sperm Then Spits It Back Up: A Play In Three Very Stupid Acts

NICE TIME! SLC Elementary School Renamed For Cool Black Lady Space-Nerd Instead Of Genocider!

Chris Wray Says ACTUALLY Sarah Huckabee Sanders And John Kelly Are Total Fucking Liars Who Lie

After Years Of Tax Cuts, Oklahoma Deeply Screwed. Good Thing That Can't Happen To The USA!

Did Darrell Issa Set This Other Congressman's Marriage ON FIRE? (Get It, He Is An Arsonist)

College Student Has Shitfit About 'Shithole' Group After Shitty Diaper Protest Goes Poof

Trump's Budget Dream: Make America A Dickensian Slum Again, 'Blue Apron Style'

Dianne Feinstein Gonna Need You To Hold Her Beer While She Beats Chuck Grassley's Ass

Grassley And Graham Star In 'How Dare Susan Rice Catch Michael Flynn Committing These Crimes!'

ICE Knows Some Terrible Fucking Publicity When It Gets It, Gives Stay Of Deportation To Sick Baby's Dad

Betsy DeVos Tells Transgender Kids To Make A Safe Space In The Bushes If They Gotta Pee So Bad

Get Ready For The Food Riots! Wonkagenda For Tues., Feb. 13, 2018

Fox News Art Critics So Mad Official Obama Portraits Are Pictures Of Black People

Is Rachel Brand Just Totally Selfish, Or Is She A Fucking Coward Too?

ICE To Dad: There's No 'My American Kid Has Leukemia' In 'Deportation'

Trump Giving Out Security Clearances Like Jizz-Stained Copies Of Forbes

TFW You're Trying To Buy Back Your Shit And They Hand You A Pee Tape

Donald Trump's Infrastructure Plan Actually Tinier Than His Sad Little Peener

White House: No No No, Trump Was Defending The *Rapist* Not The *Wife-Beater*!

Why Did Mike Pence Go All The Way To The Olympics To Embarrass America When He Can Just Do That At Home?

Oregon Hippies And Punx, See Us In Bend Tuesday Night!

Did Russia Hack Adam Rippon's Score In Free Skate Last Night, Like A Common Wisconsin?

Trump's Plan To Privatize International Space Station Worst Idea Since Vogon Poetry Festival

When Devin Nunes STOPS BEING POLITE And *Also* STOPS BEING REAL.

Trump Defends Wife Beaters. Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 12, 2018

Deleted Comments: I DONT USE CAP LOCKS, I HOLD THE SHIFT KEY BITCH.

The Week In Garbage Men: 'Kill The Gays' Pastor Says Teen Gymnasts Too Sexy For Red-Blooded Men To Resist

2018 Midterm Madness: Russia-Loving Rohrabacher Can't Surf His Way Out This Time.

Former Gitmo Commander Who Called Prisoner Suicides 'Asymetrical Warfare' Named Ambassador To Australia

Here Is What's Going On With Stupid #MEMOGATE, Part Eleventy Million

Guy Who Wrote Trump's Speeches Accused Of Putting Cigarettes Out On His Ex-Wife. Surprised?

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Still On A World Tour, Come See Us In Reno On Sunday!

The Five Most MEEEEEEOW HISS Moments In This Week's House Intelligence Committee Hearing

Donald Trump Doesn't Need Intelligence Briefings When He Has Fox & Friends

Orrin Hatch Just Heartbroken Over How This Rob Porter Scandal Has Hurt Orrin Hatch

Get Head Start For Your American Baby And Get Deported! Trump Admin's Newest Sick, Evil Shit

Trump Wishes Rob Porter Well, Reminds America Bitches Often Be Lyin'

'I Heard Him Screaming At You In The Night, And I Was Scared'

Mike Pence Has This Terrible Pain In All The Diodes Down His Left Side

Fox News Non-Racist Would Like To Know Who Let All These Gaywads And Blacks Into His Olympics

Rand Paul's Five-Hour Shutdown Is Over. Here Are The Good Things That Will Actually Get Funded!

Arizona Republicans Unsure What Lady Prisoners Need Tampons For

Let's Watch Nice Young Man Raj Shah Do First White House Press Briefing, Get Eaten Alive

Fox News And Julian Assange Walk Into A Bar To Trade Democratic Senator's Trump-Russia Texts!

John Kelly YOU'RE FIRED! Watch, Day Three: Trump So Mad! Hope Hicks Such Idiot!

They Break It, You Buy It. Wonkagenda For Fri., Feb. 9, 2018

Dude Who Killed Bin Laden Tells Cadet Bone Spurs To Shove Dumb Military Parade Up His Ass

ICE Hankering To Be The Actual SS. Pass The Tequila Please.

Does Devin Nunes Have Mad Cow Disease? We Are Just Asking.

Rep. Duncan Hunter Was Just Born Too Late, Now You Can't Even Daydrink And Carouse And Steal All The Campaign $$$

Nancy Pelosi Goes 16 Innings For Dreamer Kids, And Some Guy's Being A Dick

Russia Did It, Y'all. And Nobody Fucking Cares.

RENO 2/11! Wonkette Is Buying You Spicy Meatballs!

Dairy Farmer Devin Nunes Real Quick Gonna Teach Supreme Court Chief Justice What 'Law' Is

Could Somebody Help John Kelly Find Some Cardboard Boxes? Sturdy Cardboard Boxes Needed.

Oh Nothing, Just The DOJ *ADMITTING* Hillary Clinton 'Uranium One' Scandal Is COOKED-UP BULLSHIT FROM A LIAR WHO LIES

Y'all Know This Hope Hicks White House Wife-Beater Boyfriend Thing Totally Happened On 'Scandal,' Right?

Nancy Pelosi Backwards And In Heels. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Feb 8, 2018

Badass Gay Figure Skater 'Bout To Land Perfect Triple Axel UP MIKE PENCE'S ASS

Trump Wants 'Dreamer' Government Shutdown? Nancy Pelosi's Got Something To Say. And Say And Say And

Kirsten Gillibrand Suggests Marco Rubio And Ivanka Trump Shove Their Fake Family Leave Up Their Asses

White House Hates To See Hope Hicks's Wife-Beater Boyfriend Go, But John Kelly Loves To Watch Him Walk Away

Fox News And GOP Jackholes Have New Conspiracy, And It Is That Barack Obama Was President

Washington Post Preemptively Kneecaps Devin Nunes's Next Memo In The Dick

White House Can't Decide Who's Lazier, Mexicans Or Democrats, Napping Under The Cactus In Their Big Sombreros

With 2900 Deaths Just In Texas, Trump Grifter Pastor Lady Proclaims Hosanna! Jesus Is Our Flu Shot!

Cadet Bone Spurs Orders Great Big Military Parade For No Reason At All

Weird How Dumb Idiot Sean Hannity THIS WEEK Sounds Just Like Stupid Ass Glenn Greenwald LAST YEAR

Vive le Résistance! Wonkagenda for Wed., Feb. 7, 2018

ROCKET!! That Is All. Just ROCKET!!!!!!!

Steve Bannon Calls In Sick To House Intel Committee Again, Because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Actual Illinois Nazi Has Lock On GOP Congressional Nomination, Is On Mission From Hitler

We Are Beginning To Think Stable Genius Devin Nunes Hasn't Read His Own Stupid Lie-Memo

It's The Marco Rubio/Ivanka Trump 'Paid Family Leave' Game! Pay Your Money And ... ???

Sorry, Puerto Rico, That FEMA Thought This One Lady Could Make You 30 Million Hot Meals

Trump Lawyers Say No Robert Mueller Interview, Because Their Client Is BIGLY FUCKING LIAR

Trump Administration Fuckers Fucking All The Things

Alex Jones Knows Deep State Is Boning The Stock Market To Make Trump Look Like Big Stupid Dumbass

Donald Trump Says Bunch Of Dumb Shit While Stock Market Plunges. Look, Kittens!

Mr. Trump's Wild Ride. Wonkagenda For Tues., Feb. 6, 2018

Finally! A Dorito For Me, A Woman.

Even Supreme Court's Biggest Dicks Decline To Help Pennsylvania Mapfuckers

Have We Mentioned That Devin Nunes Is A Total Idiot Who Can't Even Lie Good?

Donald Trump Will Have To Find Another Crazy Coal Hugger For Top Environmental Job

Katie Roiphe Fails To Understand Difference Between Being 'Silenced' And Being 'Published In Harper's'

What Parts Of Fox & Friends Is President Best Brain Live-Tweeting Today?

Peggy Noonan Observed Last Evening's Footballing Match!

Martin Luther King Had A Dream: Of Great Big Powerful Pickup Trucks!

It's 5:30 A.M.: Do You Know Where Your Children Will Live?

WHY THE HELL ARE REPUBLICANS DYING ON THIS HILL TO DEFEND CARTER PAGE?

Paul Ryan Explains The True Benefits Of GOP Tax Cuts: A Buck Fitty

Congressman Benghazi Pretty Sure History Will Not Vindicate Him Or His Stupid 'Memo' Bullshit Lies

Good Boy Devin! Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 5, 2018

Deleted Emails: Guess We're All Mormons Now

The Week In Garbage Men: MGTOWS Do Depression-Era Fan Fiction, PUA Declares Susan B. Anthony Unbangable

Dirty Baltimore Cops Are Robbing People, Planting Fake Guns, And Selling Stolen Drugs.

RNC Decides Trump's Transphobic Military Ban Is A Thing They Definitely Want To Run With

2018 Midterm Madness: Conor Lamb, The Democratic Dream Marine In PA's 18th

Your Weekly Top Ten Gonna Write A Memo About How Devin Nunes Is A IDIOT

Here Are The Top Bullshits In Devin Nunes's Memo SO FAR

Well OF COURSE We're Deporting A Wounded Combat Veteran With PTSD. Why Wouldn't We?

Now Our US President Is Bragging About How Good He Can Draw 'Clock'

That's It? Really? Really, Devin Nunes? For Real?

David Brooks's Abortion Column Should Have Been Aborted

NWA Told Badass Nashville Mayor To Fuck Tha Police, So She Did

Rick Gates Lining Up To Be Robert Mueller's Hot Lunch

Donald Trump: Orrin Hatch Wants To Have My Babies, And I Saw One Of The Babies And It Looked At Me

Nation Anxiously Awaiting Devin Nunes Making In The Potty All By Himself!

What Were All Those Russian Spy Chiefs Doing In Mike Pompeo's Soup?

The Series Finale Of The Devin Nunes Show. Wonkagenda For Fri., Feb. 2, 2018

Wanna Have Hilarious Movie Night With Sarah Silverman And Lizz Winstead TONIGHT? You Do? Click Here!

New Polish Speech Law Is A Gas Gas Gas

Deep State Trump-Hatin' FBI Sexter Peter Strzok Did WHAT???????

Yet Another Romeo Trying To Sweep Missouri's Woman Voters Off Their Slutty Feet! Oooh La La!

MONDAY! Long Beach Beer And Pizza Because Wonkette Loves You And Wants You To Be Happy!

SURE, LET'S TALK ABOUT THE GODDAMNED DEVIN NUNES MEMO SOME MORE, WHY THE HELL NOT

Government Running Out Of Money After Trump's Tax Cuts For Super-Rich, So Kiss Grammy Goodbye

CDC Director Just Can't Quit Addiction To Cigarette Money, But Can Quit The CDC!

Rep. Matt Gaetz Swears He Barely Knows Chuck C. Johnson, His Hot & Heavy SOTU Date

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Wants Nancy Pelosi To Smile More, Like Face Of Warmth And Affability Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Ohhhhhhh, Hope Hicks! What Have You Done?!?!?!

Trump Makes Rod Rosenstein An Offer He Can't Refuse

Story Time With Devin Nunes. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Feb. 1, 2018

New York Post Goes On Cletus Safari, Finds This Scrappy Blue Collar ... Chief Of Surgery?

FBI Says Dumb Lyin'-Ass Devin Nunes Memo Real Fuckin' Dumb, Also Full Of Lies

Stormy Daniels Denies Denying Denial Of ... Oh Screw It, Just Read This

Mike Cernovich Will Buy Gawker With $500K He Doesn't Have, Jizz All Over It

Hate To Interrupt This FASCINATING Redux Of 2016, But Check Out Dreamboat Joe Kennedy!

That's Right, Trey Gowdy, GET YOUR DUMB SQUIRRELLY ASS OUTTA HERE

Paul Nehlen Can't See How Making 'Jews Who Are Out To Get Me' List Is So 'Anti-Semitic'

Andrew McCabe Maybe Purged From FBI For Being Better Than A Common James Fucking Comey

Donald Trump Reads State Of The Union Speech Without Shitting Own Pants, Is Presidential AF

Nice Speech, Idiot. Let's Talk More About How President Pee Tape And Devin Nunes Are Destroying America!

Much SOTU. Very President. Bigly Words. Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan 31, 2018

If Maxine Waters Gets To Skip Trump's Stupid SOTU Address, So Do We: Your Wonkette Non-SOTU Non-Liveblog!

I Can't Believe I Used To Think Paul Manafort Was The Boring One, HOLY JESUS SHIT!

DERANGED FAR LEFT LIBERAL NANCY PELOSI COMPARES GREAT PRESIDENT TO SLOBBY DOG!

The State Of The Donald Trump Is BIGLY TREMENDOUS YOOGE!

Trump Admin Done Providing Things Like 'Food And Water' To Puerto Rico! Half Of A Job, FEMA!

Tim Allen And Adam Carolla To Produce Searing Documentary About Their Own Irrelevance In Modern America

Jailbird Congressman Michael Grimm's #METOO: I Was Bad-Touched By The FBI!

Paul Ryan Was A Testy Little Prick Today

Oh Hi Julian Assange, What Are Your 'Other Channels' For Snuggling With Sean Hannity?

No Russia Sanctions, No Russia Sanctions, YOU ... Are Also Not Russia Sanctions!

We're Sure The Trump-Russia Insane Clown Show That Happened Yesterday Is TOTALLY FINE

The GOP Phones A Friend: 'Hey, Justice Alito! Wanna Help Us Steal Some More Elections?'

President Cheap N Cheaty Ain't Wanna Pay His Golf Course Taxes, You Are So Surprised

Did You Get That Thing I Sent You? Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan 30, 2018

U R CORDIALY INVITED 2 TRUMMP VERY GUD STAE OF UNIOM SPECH TOMOROW NITE OK?

Pssst, Senate Voting On Banning Your Abortions Tonight, Because Nothing Else Is Pressing, We Guess

LA Times Owners 'Tronc' Up To Sinister Bullshit Again

Everything On Fire At FBI Now (It Is A Metaphorical Fire, Not, Like, The Reichstag. But Maybe That Too!)

Vince McMahon Is Here To Save Football For Hetero Patriots And White Jesus

Mama's Good Boy Todd Starnes Wants ICE To Round Up The Dreamers LIVE At The State Of The Union

GOP Will Protect Robert Mueller The Second It's Too Fucking Late To Protect Robert Mueller

New York Times Continues Long Strange Journey Into What Even The Fuck

Portland, Bend, Reno, And Long Beach, CA, It Is Your Turn To Host The Get Out Of Montana Wonkette Winter World Tour!

Dumb Stupid Devin Nunes Memo Makes One Guy Look REAL BAD, And That Guy Is Donald Trump!

POLITICS In POP MUSIC? Somebody Fetch Lawrence Welk's Smelling Salts!

President Puss-grab Too Manly For Womynists. Wonkagenda For Mon., Jan. 29, 2018

Deleted Comments: One Of Those Weeks Where The Bigots Forgot What Their Own Slurs Mean

The Week In Garbage Men: Man Going His Own Way Writes Earnest Ballad Of Misogyny

Wonkette Investigates: What Is Up With Chanel Rion, Traditional Dinner-Making Fiancée Of Courtland Sykes?

Did The Deep State Murder Sean Hannity's Twitter Account? And Then Resurrect It?

Trump Hopes Nothing Bad Will Happen To Civil Servants Who Testify Against Him, That Would Be A Damn Shame!

Your Weekly Top Ten Doesn't Even Know What Day It Is Anymore

A Step By Step Guide To Putting FRENCH ONION ROAST BEEF SLIDERS Inside Your Face!

Trump Idiot HUD Lady Is Huge Jerk To April Ryan On Twitter. Bad Idea.

Wonkette Breathlessly Awaiting Chris Cillizza's Analysis Of Today's Hillary Clinton And Steve Wynn Stories

Trump's Millennial Opioid Czar Quitting Because His Mom Wouldn't Sign His Permission Slip

New York Times Takes Break From Kissing Trump's Ass, Kisses Melania's Ass Instead

Guggenheim Won't Loan Trump A Van Gogh, But Has Solid Gold Shitter To Spare

Arizona Sovereign Citizen: A Model, Idiot?

Sean Hannity Responds To Trump Mueller News By OMG LOOK SQUIRREL CAR CRASH ROBOT NAKED LADY BOOBIES!

Trump Davos Speech Makes Him President In 3, 2, 1. Wonkagenda For Fri., Jan., 26, 2018

Trump Tried To Saturday Night Massacre Robert Mueller By The Pussy, But He Couldn't Get There

Missouri Women Won't Have To Get Their Demons Ultrasounded. Thanks, Satanic Temple!

Fox News And GOP Idiots Fixin' To Destroy FBI Because Sexting Agents Forgot To Say 'LOL!'

Texas Judge Was On Mission FROM GOD!

GOP Senate Candidate Believes In A Woman's Right To Make Him Dinner

DOJ Dick-Punches Devin Nunes Over Dumbass Fake Memo

Ryan Zinke Says No Oil Rigs At Mar-a-Lago, For Science Reasons He Definitely Did Not Just Make Up

Prosperity Already Flowing From Tax Cut! To Paul Ryan! From The Kochs!

President Loud Stupid Talked To Reporters Without Adult Supervision Again. It Went Just Great.

Here Are All The Stupid Lies Sarah Huckabee Sanders Said Yesterday!

RELEASE THE KRAKEN! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 25, 2018

USA Gymnastics Judge Preemptively Banned From Wonkette Comments, For Being TOO AWESOME

Fox News Apparently Just Trying To Get People Killed Now

We Were Proud To Share A Planet With Ursula K. Le Guin

Not Sure How To Say This, But FBI Director Chris Wray MAY Have A 12-Inch Dick

Thank God Trump Here To Help The Real Victims: Payday Lenders Charging You One Thousand Percent

Jesus Freaks Have BEST Plan To Take Schools Back To The 300 Years Of The 17th Century

When You Love Something, Pay It Off With Congressional $$$ And Get Kicked Off The Ethics Committee

Robert Mueller Can't Wait For Trump To Grab These Perjury Charges By The Pussy

PA Supreme Court Orders Lege To UNFUCK The Maps! NOW!

Trump And Sarah Huckabee Sanders Hope Democrats Don't FORCE THEM To Kick DREAMers In Face Repeatedly

Robert Mueller Just Has A Couple Of Questions...Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan. 24, 2018

Happy Lucky 13th Anniversary, Melania Trump And This Hot Marine!

Chuck Schumer Tells Trump To Stick The Border Wall Up His Culo Gordo

Tony Perkins Giving Trump A 'Mulligan' On Stormy Daniels Is Par For The Evangelical Course

Oh Fiddlesticks, Hope Jefferson Butterscotch Sessions Didn't Lie To Robert Mueller Too Much!

No, Trump Voter Fraud Commission Didn't Want List Of All Texas's Hispanicos! It Was Just A Mistake By The Guy With The Child Porn!

Oh Go Fuck Yourself, Devin Nunes

'Reopen The Government' Just Another Word For 'Fuck With The ACA Some More'

Counterpoint: Maybe Chuck Schumer ISN'T A Fucking Asshole Weakling That We Hate?

Devin Nunes Won't Show His Work. Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 23, 2018

Shep Smith Unites America In Laughter At Ted Cruz's Lying Dickface

Ivanka Seeking New Babysitter For Daddy, Because John Kelly Is Jerk President

New York Restaurateur Wishes 'Servant' Waitstaff Still Knew Their Place

Senate Votes To Believe Mitch McConnell's Promise To Think About Fixing DACA Real Soon, Why Not

Megyn Kelly Knows What Is Un-American, And It Is Jane Fonda's OLD FACE!

Let's Skim NYMag's Glenn Greenwald Profile And See How Stupid It Is

Fox News 'Judge' Jeanine Pirro Stalking Hillary Clinton Because She Is Stupid And Exhausting

Howie Kurtz Book Says Trump Is Huge Idiot In Different Ways From Michael Wolff Book

Cruel Evil Democrats Didn't Let Trump Go To His President Party!

Tammy Duckworth Beats 'Cadet Bone Spurs' Over Head With Her Badass Robot Feet

'Cadet Bone Spurs' Not Even Trying To Fake It. Wonkagenda For Mon., Jan. 22, 2018

Come Look At All The Pretty Pictures You Guys Sent Us From Your Women's Marches Yesterday!

Deleted Comments: If Liberals Knew History Facts, They'd Know 'W.E.B. De Bois' Hated Mexicans

It Seems Like Not Regulating Homeschooling Doesn't Work Out So Well?

Today Marks Either The 500 Year Or One Year Anniversary Of Trump's Presidency. Hard To Tell!

Shutdown Shitshow Draws Huge Ratings And Ruins Trump's Plan To Party At Mar-a-lago

This Is Your OFFICIAL Wonkette Women's March Weekend Livebloog And Thread!

Your Weekly Top Ten Has A VERY GOOD DOG

LA Times Goes Union! Gross Harassey Publisher Goes Straight To Hell!

Former Navy SEAL And Fox News Personality Somehow Too Racist For Job In Trump Administration

White House Counsel Don McGahn: In Deep Shit, Or A Shit Sharknado?

Gymnast-Molesting Doctor Thinks It Is Very Rude Of Judge To Make Him Listen To His Victims

ARE YOU READY TO SHUTDOWN???? A Wonksplainer Of 'Yeah, No, Really, It's Republicans' Fault'

Lo Unto Us YET ANOTHER Fusion GPS Transcript Has Been Given!

Fox News Decided To Spare America From Thinking Of Donald Trump Boning Porn Star Before Election

She Shuts Shit Down By The Shit Show. Wonkagenda For Fri., Jan. 19, 2018

White House Wishes Everyone Would Be Good Christians Just Like Donald Trump

Sniveling Piss Wipe Tom Cotton Gonna Call The Cops On Your Nana For SAYING WORDS TO HIM

Trumpland Appoints 24-Year-Old Frat Bro To Solve Opioid Crisis. All Better Now?

Wonkette Wins ONE MILLION FAKIE AWARDS, For 'Best Dick Joke' And 'Not Being The Fucking New York Times'

Nice Time! California Got Criminal Justice Reform In Your Legal Weed!

Trump Judge Draws Line At Sending Mexicans DIRECTLY TO GET BEHEADED BY CARTELS

Robert Mueller Following The Money All The Way Up Russia's Dirty, Dirty Ass

Compassionate Republicans Horrified At Cruel Dems For Killing CHIP

DOJ Cooks Up Racist Bullshit Burger To Prove All Foreigns Are Terrorists

Here's What The Fuck Is Going On With Steve Bannon And Robert Mueller

President Good Brain Sat Down With Reuters, Showed 'Em Which One Is 'Camel'

How Many Republicans Does It Take To Shut Down A Government? Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 18, 2018

Seven Things To Think About That Are NOT Trump Comparing Porn Star He Banged To His Daughter Ivanka

Lindsey Graham And Donald Trump Are ON A BREAK!

Trump Pretty Sure Jesus Wants Your Doctor To Discriminate Against You

Trump Letting Employers Grab Women's ... Money. Whew, Just Their Money! What A Relief!

Is Donald Trump Crossing His Fingers For His Very Own 9/11? Maaaybe!

National Parks Advisors Tell Ryan Zinke To Take Their Job And Shove It

Republican Lady Explains Good Fathers Stop Gun Crime. RFK's Son Chris Kennedy Says Go Fuck Yourself

Eric Trump With Perfect Defense: Donald Trump Too Greedy To Be Racist!

Hero ICE Protects Nation From Detroit Dad In US For 30 Years Without Even A Traffic Ticket

Steve Bannon Too Busy Sucking Own Cock To Answer Trey Gowdy's Questions

Obese And Balding Is The New Black. Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan. 17, 2018

White House Doc Says President Beef Poots Only Weighs 239 Pounds, So That's Some Bullshit

Cory Booker Just Called Kirstjen Nielsen A Complicit Asshole, And We Are HERE FOR IT

Very Stable Geniuses Try To Arrest London's Mayor For High Crime Of Brownness

Trump's Aryan Homeland Security Idiot Kirstjen Nielsen DOES NOT REMEMBER, OK?

US Gymnastics Doctor Raped And Molested 140 Girls But Hey The NFL Playoffs Are On We Guess

Iowa Voters Doing The Polka On Joni Ernst And Chuck Grassley's Stupid Trump-Loving Faces

Jared And Ivanka's BFF Wendi Deng Murdoch MAYBE Chinese Spy, DEFINITELY Banged Tony Blair And Vladimir Putin, ALLEGEDLY

Trump Almost Made Deal On DACA, But Then John Kelly Saved Racists' Day!

Kevin McCarthy Gives Trump Red And Pink Starbursts, Not The Other Colors, Those Are Shithole Starbursts

Glenn Greenwald's Got Us Now! Democrats Conspiring Against Chelsea Manning For Running Against Democrat!

Trump's Twitter Insults Getting Even Less Clever, Because Somehow That Was Possible

Trump Digs His Shithole Deeper. Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 16, 2018

Fox News Just Beside Itself That Anyone Would Politicize Martin Luther King

MAXINE WATERS, YOU STOP HURTING THE DAILY CALLER'S RACIALLY TRANSCENDENT MLK DAY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW!

Celebrate Martin Luther King Day With Trump's Traditional MLK Day Golfing Hootenanny!

HOT TAKE: Maybe Tom Cotton And David Perdue Are Racist Assholes Like Trump!

Is It Even Fair That Your Boss Has To Buy You Health Insurance? A Republican Thinker!

This Is How Joy Reid Tells An Idiot To Shut The Fuck Up

Why Can't Obama Be Less Divisive, Like That Nice White Boy Martin Luther King Jr.?

Hawaii's Nuclear Alert System Did A Silly Thing, Uh-Oh

'The Place Wolves Like To Fuck.' Wonkagenda For Mon., Jan. 15, 2018

Deleted Comments: We Hear From One Of The Greatest Geniuses To Walk This Earth

Joy Reid Rips Trump Pastor A New Shithole For Hating Dirty UnAmerican Poors

Hey! Anyone Remember The 85,000 Other Times Chris Matthews Said Some Messed Up Things?

Trump Was ALLEGEDLY Banging Porn Star While Wife Was Pregnant. Allegedly.

Yes, Andrew Sullivan, It's Worse To Remove A Condom During Sex Than It Is To Be A Commie

Your Weekly Top Ten Cannot Get Over Revelation That Trump Is Racist

Donald Trump Finally Right: The World Is Laughing At Us And Our Shithole President

If You Liked Grand Wizard Trump's 'Shitholes' Routine, You'll Looove This!

Trump Working Hard To Fuck Up Everyone's Taxes At Record Levels

Are Those Tax-Cut Bonuses A Publicity Stunt Scam? Hey, Let's Ask Walmart!

Beta Cuck Trump Cancels England Trip Because He's Scared, Blames Black Guy Obviously

DONALD TRUMP WALL STREET JOURNAL RUSSIA TREASON NO DEMENTIA NO DEMENTIA YOU ARE THE DEMENTIA

Donald Trump Opens His Shithole

Trump Disproves Dementia Concerns By Shouting 'WALL' At WSJ Reporter For Three Straight Hours

REMINDER: Doctors Examining Trump's Shithole Today At Walter Reed

What A Shithole. Wonkagenda For Fri., Jan. 12, 2018

Is Darrell Issa Unresigning From Congress To Spend More Time Losing In Whole New District?

Cost Of CHIP Really A Bargain. Especially Compared To Price Of 9 Million Tiny Caskets.

Will Unemployed Blogger Steve Bannon Fuck Trump On Russia? Reckon He Might!

Toby Young: Meet The British Betsy DeVos, If She Were *More Of An Asshole*!

Are Boner-Killing Feminists Murdering Your Sexy Movies? Probably!

Time To Arrest NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio For Crimes Against Exxon!

Should Trump Do An Interview With Robert Mueller? Yes Or OMG LOL HELL YES?

Very Stable Genius Spends Morning Torching His Own FISA Bill On Twitter

Guy Starting Work At 1:30 PM Today Wants Medicaid Poors To Get Off Their Fat Asses

Look At This Dumb Racist Trump Ambassador Getting Dunked On By Mean Dutch Reporters

Hero Louisiana Cop Protects Public From Mouthy Middle School Teacher Who Wants Decent Pay

GOP Missouri Governor Eric Greitens Is A Blackmailing Adulterous Piece Of Shit, ALLEGEDLY

I'm Not A Collusion, YOU'RE A COLLUSION! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 11, 2018

Roseanne Conner Does Not Deserve What Roseanne Barr Is About To Do To Her

Let's Do POLL PORN About President Loser Dick's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year!

Christopher Steele Stopped Telling FBI About Trump-Russia Conspiracy Because THE NEW YORK TIMES SUCKS BALLS

New York Prisons Experiment With Promoting Illiteracy. That's Not A Typo.

Is Doxxing The Woman Who Created The Shitty Media Men List A Shitty Thing To Do? Yes, Yes It Is!

Trump's DHS Now Revoking Naturalized Citizenship Because It Is Their Funnest Thing!

BIG DEAL COURT CASE. MAYBE FIX RIGGED CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICTS. NICE TIMES.

It's Real Fuckin' Obvious Why GOP Didn't Want Us To Read The Fusion GPS Transcript

Smell You Later, Darrell Issa! (Because We Will Follow The Odor Of Kerosene)

Ryan Zinke Exempts Florida From Offshore Oil Drilling Plan For Some Mar-A-Lago Reason

Federal Judge Karate-Chops Trump On DACA, Like: THWACK And Also KAPOW!

Chuck C. And Milo: Social Justice Warriors! (For Chuck C. And Milo)

It's Getting Hot In Herre! (Don't Take Off All Your Clothes.) Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan 10, 2018

Breitbart Impeaches President Steve Bannon

Donald Trump Having Big Wonderful Immigration Meeting, So Happy, Loves All His Mexican Rapist Friends!

Trump Appointees Accidentally Fuck Over Coal Companies In Name Of Free Market. WHOOPS!

LO UNTO US A FUSION GPS TRANSCRIPT IS GIVEN!

That Google Douche James Damore Suing For CIVIL RIGHTS! (For White Conservative Males)

Racist Shitbag Joe Arpaio Wants To Lose Senate Race Just Like Accused Pedo Roy Moore Did!

Here Is Some Crazy Racist Marijuana News For A Change And Surprise!

Ivanka Trump Says #TIMESUP For Sexual Predators Who Aren't Currently Her Dad

Trump Stands For National Anthem Like True Patriot, Remembers At Least Nine Words Of It ALMOST PERFECTLY

Abra Cadabra, Trump Turns 200,000 Legal Salvadoran Immigrants Into ILLEGAL ALIENS, SHAZAM!

Trump Reminds Farmers They're White Like Him. Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 9, 2018

Oprah 2020 Hopes Crash And Burn After Alex Jones Says Thing

Judge Rules Feds Actually DID Do Tyranny To Bundy Clan, Sets Em All Free With Bundy-Style Prejudice

Trump Lawyers Seek Alternatives To Robert Mueller Interviewing Trump, Like Maybe Mueller NOT Interviewing Trump?

You Guys Are Not Going To Believe This, But A *White Supremacist Was Actually Charged With Terrorism*

Now Jake Tapper Has Made Stephen Miller's Heart And Kidneys Into A Jaunty Chapeau

Maine Gov. Paul LePage Knows Who Needs The Welfare Money, Surprise It Is Not Poor People!

Steve Bannon Sorry For Biting Off Own Cock While Sucking It, Won't Make THAT Mistake Again

DHS Uninterested In Cleaning Up Kris Kobach's Pathetic Loser 'Voter Fraud' Shit

It's Not 11:00 AM Yet, So SHHHHHHH THE PRESIDENT IS STILL HAVING BEDROOM TIME!

Jake Tapper Disembowels Stephen Miller Then Wipes His Gut Blood On His Face Like In A Horror Movie

Oprah's Speech Was Amazing, Now Shut Your Fucking Mouth

Uma, Oprah. Oprah, Uma. (OK, Not Actually Uma.) Wonkagenda For Mon., Jan 8, 2018

Deleted Comments: The Swiss Are Working On An Artificial Vagina

Camp David: Trump Holds DREAMers Hostage For Wall, Ryan Wears Questionable Outfit

The Week In Garbage Men: When The Man Who Is Garbage Is Also Your Boss

Trump Declares Self 'Like, Really Smart,' Not Dumb Like Everybody Says

Your Weekly Top Ten Is Exhausted By 2018 Already

Donald Trump Takes Obama's New Job Gains And SHOVES THEM! (We Mean Trump Created Fewer Jobs)

Ryan Zinke Bringing More Oil Spills To Beaches Near You!

Complicit Shitheel GOP Senators Will Put Trump Pee Hooker Dossier Spy IN JAIL

Roy Moore's JOO LAWYER Is Best Kind Of Jew: The Christian Kind!

Who Was Roy Cohn And Why Hath He Forsaken Donald Trump? Apart From Being Dead And All.

Paul Ryan Loves Devin Nunes And Scratches His Belly And Helps Him Cover Up Trump-Russia

Shocking: Pervy Congressman Blake Farenthold, Six-Millionaire, Ain't Wanna Pay His Sex-Harassment Settlement!

All The President's Lawyers: WTF Is Going On With Rod Rosenstein?

DOJ And FBI Dusting Off Hillary Clinton-Brand Speculum For Double-Headed Investigation!

Where's Your Roy Cohn, Donald Trump? Oh That's Right, He's In Hell.

Call The Joo Lawyer Cause Roy Moore Is SO SUED

Where's My Roy Cohn? Wonkagenda For Fri., Jan 5, 2017

We Are All Doug Jones's Son, Staring GAY DAGGERS Through Mike Pence's Dumb Skull

Trump ICE Thug Wants To Deport Jerry Brown -- Get This, For *Human Trafficking*

Want Even More Nasty Trump Gossip From Michael Wolff? What A Gluttonous Slut You Are!

California Insists On Doing Cool New Shit For 2018. Not Just Smoking It, Either!

Republican Steals Virginia House Seat To Keep GOP Control, So That's Awesome!

We Need To Discuss This Revenge Porn Douchebro Running For Jeff Flake's Senate Seat

Is This Robert Mueller's Favorite Part Of Michael Wolff's Dirty Trump Book? Bet Your Ass It Is!

Trump Lawyers Are Definitely Going To Sue Michael Wolff And Steve Bannon! Oh, Absolutely!

Chief Narc Jeff Sessions To Lock YOU Up, For Doing Jazz And Reefer

Latest SALACIOUS TRUMP GOSSIP From Michael Wolff 100% Fucking True: A Wonkette Fact-Check!

Trump Disbands Fake Voter Fraud Commission, Now We'll Never Know How Many Millions He Won By

More Legal Fuckery From That Fucker Paul Manafort: A Lawsplainer About His Bad Lawsuit That Sucks!

BANNON, BANNON, BANNON! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 4, 2018

Why Is This Man Smiling?

Deleted Comments From The President And Also Breitbart's Internet Home Of NO TREASON NO TREASON YOU'RE THE TREASON!

What Up, Sarah Huckabee Sanders? In The Mood To Lie About Steve Bannon Today? OH YEAH YOU ARE.

The 68,423 Most Fucked Up Quotes In Michael Wolff's Trump Book That AREN'T About Steve Bannon

SIXTY THREE People Arrested for ONE Bag of Weed In NOT AT ALL RACIST Party Bust

Orrin Hatch Retiring From Senate To Make Way For *Other* Spineless Dweeb Who Hates Poor People

WHAT? JUNIOR DID TREASON? WE CAN'T HEAR YOU STEVE BANNON WITH YOUR OWN COCK IN YOUR MOUTH

Fusion GPS Just Threw The Fuck Down On Trump And GOP Congress, And It Was MAGNIFICENT

Roy Moore's 'Jew Lawyer' Voted For Doug Jones, As Did His Negro Maid And Messican Pool Boy

It Appears President Trump May Be Ill-Suited For Job Of Not Killing Us All

Nuclear Madman Brags About Size Of Penis To Kim Jong-Un

STOP PUSHING BUTTONS! Wonkagenda For Wednesday, Jan. 3, 2018

Michele Bachmann Might Run For Franken's Senate Seat ... On A Mission FROM GOD!!

But How Will Trump Ever Get A Fair Trial From All These Black People On Mueller's Grand Jury?

Trump Still Gets A '10' On Puerto Rico. If We Are Talking About The Number Of People With Both Water And Power.

Trump's New Year's Eve Grab-A-Puss-A-Palooza Looks Like It Was Good Wholesome Fun

South Carolina GOPers' Plan To Honor 'Black Confederate Soldiers' Thwarted By Lack Thereof

Ryan Zinke Used Wildfire Funds For Fun Helicopter Tour. Good Thing There Aren't Any Wildfires!

Retired Cop David Clarke Resolves To Spend 2018 Inciting Violence From Comfort Of His Barcalounger

New Year, Same Fucking Devin Nunes

Pope Francis Hated 2017 As Much As You Did

Anthony Scaramucci Still Fired, An Asshole

Trump Back To Work Watching 'Fox & Friends' And Twitter-Bitching About Huma Abedin

Here We Go Again. Again. Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 2, 2018

Your 2017 Legislative Boyfriend We Mean Hero Of The Year Is ADAM SCHIFF!

Your 2017 Legislative Shitmuffin Of The Whole Entire Year Is DEVIN NUNES, COME ON DOWN AND SUCK IT!

2017: These Are The People Who Died, Died

2017: The Year We Punched Nazis

2017: The Year Those Stupid Fucking Lawyer Jokes Finally Died

2017: The Year Trump Never Stopped Lying