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At Least China Wasn't Behind The Peenerballoons At Trump's Trial
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Floor Is Guava!
Greg Abbott Wants To Live In A World Where Killing Black Lives Matter Protestors Is Acceptable
Sexxxy Florida GOP Couple Doesn't Want Public Reading About All The Hot Stuff They're Into
Live: Joe Biden Speaks On 70 Years Since Brown v. Board Of Education
I'm Sam Alito And I Don't Know What Possessed My Wife To 'Stop The Steal' Like A Dang Ginni Thomas!
Joe Biden, 'Brown v. Board' Families Remind America That Equality Is Good, Actually
Celebs Issue Unsettling Demands For Kevin Spacey's Return
NC Senate Votes To Ban Masks, Send Children To Adult Prisons, Generally Do Bad Stuff
Trump Trial Day 18: 99 Peenballons
Where In The World Is Rudy Giuliani? Tabs, Fri., May 17, 2024
Supreme Court making Wonkette's Day in News REAL NERVOUS. OW! THE SHOE!
Jesse Watters Says Trump MEDITATING In Court, Guess Those Are His MEDITATION FARTS
NFL To Harrison Butker, In So Many Words: Shut Up And Kick
LIVE: Here Comes Your Next White House Press Briefing!
In Louisiana Voting Case, Supreme Court Does Right Thing. WHAT ARE THEY UP TO?
LIVE: VP Kamala Harris With DL Hughley, OOH IS SHE GOING TO SAY CURSES?
South Dakotans Who Signed Abortion Petition Getting Creepy Calls From Anti-Abortion Group
No Hunter Biden Peener Hearings This Morning, Republicans Gotta Go See Trump's Peener In New York
Judges Tell Maryland Moms 4 Liberty To Cry More, More Gay Books For All The Kids!
Utah's Official Bathroom Monitor *PIIIISSSSSED* Lege Put Him In Charge Of All The Trans Pissing.
Hey MTG, You Can Have Mike Johnson Now. Pretty Sure Democrats Aren't Saving Him Again.
If Canceling The Cancelers Is Canceling ... Wait What? Tabs, Thurs., May 16, 2024
Wonkette today in news: Trump's trial fluffer shifts :/
Biden, Trump Agree To Two Debates. Still Negotiating Cage Match Format, Tan Suits.
Here's One Kansas City Chief You Can Root Against
That New York Times Poll Is Such A ... New York Times Poll!
God's Most Pathetic Republicans Spend Week Taking Fluffer Shifts Outside Trump's NY Trial
Sloppy Steve Bannon All Out Of Appeals
Zombie Voters Still Showing Up To Vote For Nikki Haley's BRAINS.
Who Is Meant To Throw Louis C.K. His Comeback Party?
Kamala Harris Said A Cuss, And She'll F*cking Say It Again!
Joe Biden Just Slapped 100 Percent Tariffs On Chinese EVs, So Isn't He Just Like Trump? (No.)
Poor Dumb Eric Trump Thinks Daddy Is Bigger Star Than Bruce Springsteen
Suck My Left One: Kathleen Hanna Is Not Just Some Chick Who Knew Kurt Cobain
LIVE: White House Press Briefing, Because You've Earned It!
LIVE: Joe Biden Doing Infrastucture Week, Right In Front Of The Kids!
Ex-Trump Aide Johnny McEntee Playing Tricks On Unhoused People, Isn't That Funny And Fun?
Climate Change Also Making Your Allergies Worse Because Why Would It Not Do That
Arizona Supreme Court Punts Creepy Victorian Abortion Law 135 Days Into Future
Kristi Noem Banned From More Native American Land Because She Still Sucks
Trump Trial Day 16: Michael Cohen Foam Party!
5 Things You Should Never Put On A Charcuterie Tray (Number 4 Is Rocks!), Tabs, Tues. May 14, 2024
Senate's Dumbest Coach Didn't Have NO FUN At Trump's Big Time Peener Trial In New York City
Brett Kavanaugh And Clarence Thomas And Sam Alito Upset Again
Bill Maher: Man Of The People, Or Something
LIVE: Your Monday White House Press Briefing, Come Learn Things
Louisiana Doing More Anti-Abortion Drama Queen Nonsense
Guy On Boardwalk In Jersey Babbling About Hannibal Lecter Says He's Running For President
Marvelous Minnesota Maybe Making Magnificent Equal Rights Amendment!
Kristi Noem Embarrassment Week Will Be Over When Kristi Noem Stops Embarrassing Herself
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Twenty-Eight
Trump Reminds Oil Billionaires, Voters, What Electing Him Will Do To The Planet
Wonkette Movie Night: The Triplets Of Belleville
Public School Tried To Ban A Kid's Painting Because It Was Mean About Christians Being Mean
Goodbye Cruel World: Tea Party 'FreedomWorks' Group Is Dead As Doornail
Trump Trial Day 15: Hey, Y'All Hear About This Fat $$$ They Paid Jailbird CFO Not To Testify?
No One Knows Why Today Is Twilight Zone Day
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Foaming Pineapple!
Trump Campaign Lagging In State Resources, Will Make It Up In Thievery
That Time Rubber Duck Laid The Hammer Down
Medical Students Staying Away From Abortion Ban States In Droves
Poor Little Rich Rudy Can’t Find An Accountant To Touch His Books
Mike Johnson Just Intuitively Knows Illegal Aliens Stealing Trump's Precious
If Trump Is Elected Again, He Will Kill 44 People In The First 180 Days
Kristi Noem's Dog Murder Story Somehow Worse Than We Knew
Could Cops Maybe Try To Have The Right Address Before Opening Fire In Someone's Home?
Trump Trial: 'I Felt The Skin Of A 60-Year-Old Man'
Laura Ingraham Calls Stormy Daniels 'Angry Shrew.' That's It, That's The Joke.
What Have I, What Have I, What Have I Come Into The Kitchen For? Tabs, Friday May 10, 2024
RFK Jr. Got Worm In His Brain, Still No Word How The Drunk Squirrels Got In There
LIVE: Biden With The WNBA Champs!
Jamie Raskin Drags Wingnut Rep. Glenn Grothman Onto Bus, Takes Him To School On Flag, Constitution
Trump Day 14: Desperately Smearing Stormy
Vivek Ramaswamy Impressed By Gutsy Ann Coulter Insulting Him To His Face
Marjorie Taylor Greene Humiliated Herself (Again) Yesterday
Liberal Florida College Helped KKK Leader's Kid Reject Racism, Recognize Trans Identity Too
Today In Labor History, May 9, 1934: The Longshoremen Walked Off
Guess We Gotta Do The RFK Jr. Brain Worm Story, Don't We?
Kristi Noem Can't Be On Your Show Today, Stuck In Terrible Blizzard With Kim Jong-Un!
Pardon Me, Boys? Is That The Chattanooga Choo Choo? Tabs, Thurs., May 9, 2024
Wonkette's Today in Bummers and Also RFK Jr.'s brain :/
Fox News He/Hims Feeling Very Triggered By Scouts' New Woke, Boyless Name
Zombie Nikki Haley Pulls 22 Percent In Indiana GOP Primary, Probably Bad News For Biden Somehow
Georgia: Let Them Eat Jim Crow!
LIVE: Biden Explains What He Has Done For You Lately, Tell All Your Friends! (Seriously, Tell Them.)
Trump Trial Day 13: OH S**T, It’s Stormy Daniels!
Kristi Noem Taken To Gravel Pit By … [CHECKS NOTES] … Newsmax And Fox Business?
The 7 Deadliest Palm Beach Socialites With Murder In Their Hearts! Tabs, Wed., May 8, 2024
Toronto! The One In Canada! Wonkette Is Coming At You! THIS SUNDAY!
Marjorie Taylor Greene Nails Her 95 Feces To Mike Johnson's Church Door
Sadface: The Tragic Tale Of The Rich Guy Who Didn't 'Feel' Rich
LIVE: Briefly, The White House Press Briefing
Jesse Watters Openly Fantasizing About Trump's Prison Body, NO WAIT COME BACK!
With Biden Funding, IRS To Actually Audit More Rich F*ckwads Than Poor People!
Letitia James Sues Crisis Pregnancy Centers For Being Weird Liars
LIVE: Biden At Capitol For Major Speech On Antisemitism
Another Day At The Evil Office: NHS-England Threatens Trans Kids
How To Make Friends And Influence People (Kill Some Dogs), By Kristi Noem
Peggy Noonan Returns To College, Stunned To Find Kids Still Hate Her
Trump Trial: Nine Contempts Then The Tenth Is Free!
Have You Taken Your Ben Shapiro Man Vitamins Today?
Ben Shapiro's Daily Wire Man Vitamins Will Flush Out Woke Mind Virus, Replace It With Sperm
Are 'Ripe' And 'Fertile' Words You Want To Hear From A Guy Defending Child Marriage?
LIVE: White House Press Briefing, Time To Learn The Politics!
Trump Tells 40 Percent Of America To F*ck Off, You Dang Moochers
LIVE: Know Who's Cool? Vice President Harris Is Cool
All The Trump Veep Contenders Who HAVEN'T Noem-ed Themselves Out Of Contention!
Missouri AG To Represent GOP Legislators Who Falsely Accused Random Man Of A Mass Shooting
Kristi Noem: Here’s Another Dog That Should Be Dead
Time for 'Bankrupt' Rudy Giuliani To Give Up The Grande Latte Avocado Toasts, Looks Like!
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT Chapter Twenty-Seven
Why 2024 Is The Best Year In A Decade To Visit Iceland! Tabs, Mon., May 6, 2023
Canadians Revolt Over Gross Grocery Chain
Should I Let My Inner Thespian Out at Last?
Wonkette Movie Night: Star Wars IV
Yes, Sen. Kennedy, You Are Indeed A 'Sick F*ck.' Glad We Could Clear That Up!
Grifty Democratic Congressman Henry Cuellar Indicted For Being Poor Man's Bob Menendez
Pants Presser Pressed! It’s Hope Hicks At The Trump Trial
It's Naked Gardening Day AGAIN? Seems Like It Comes Earlier Every Year!
Wonkette's day of news has been a very long year!
Can Vaccines Give You The Gay? An Anti-Vaxxer's 'Groundbreaking' Survey Of People Who Read His Blog!
Richard Nixon Was Cowed By Deep State While Donald Trump Spits At It
Does April Jobs Report Mean Inflation's Cooling, Or That Joe Biden's Doomed?
Texas Ex From Hell Wants To Sue His Former Girlfriends' Friends Over Her Colorado Abortion
Ron DeSantis Signs Bill To Help Florida Beat Meat
Joe Biden Gonna Turn It [Grid Expansion] On, Gonna Bring You The [Renewable] Power!
Bipartisan Congressmen Start Caucus To Protect Dogs From Getting Noem-ed In The Face
Sad News For Reckless Idiots! Tabs, Fri., May 3, 2024
Wonkette news today: Gay Zillow porn Lindsay Lohan trans faith healing marijuana!
Trump Court Thursday: Holy Lindsay Lohan!
Oregon Faith Healing Parents Arrested Just For Letting Their Two-Day-Old Infant Die
One Million Moms Yelling At Gay Zillow Porn Again
CNN’s Kaitlan Collins Stuffs JD Vance In Locker
Red States Sue To Protect God-Given Right To Harass, Discriminate Against Trans Kids
Kristi Noem Clarifies: That Dog Was Just The Hired Help, And Then I Killed It With A Gun
Biden DOJ To Reschedule Marijuana, Stoners All Ask 'For When, Man?'
Please Don't Gender My Dinner! Tabs, Thurs., May 2, 2024
Wonkette's news of today predicts a riot.
Musk Fires Nearly All Of Tesla, Makes Satellites Spell 'SURRENDER DOROTHY' In Night Sky
Kansas Bigots Succeed At Bigotry, Fail At Veto Override
LIVE AND IN PROGRESS! Your White House Press Briefing!
Trump Hates His Lawyer Now, So That's Right On Schedule
Ted Cruz Working Hard For Right Of Innocent Airlines Not To Have To Refund You!
Mitt Romney's Car Roof Dog Transporting NOTHING Like Kristi Noem's Dog Face Shooting, Says Romney
Does It Count As A 'Post-Birth Abortion' When DeSantis Takes Away A Sick Child's Healthcare?
Stormy Lawyer: 'Trump Is F***ed'
Shawn Fain Invites YOU To The May Day 2028 General Strike! Tabs, Wed., May 1, 2024
Trump Trial Watch, Week Two: No New Poots, But A Contempt Fine
Newsmax Saw Joe Biden Eating Salad, And They Are MAD
Trump Announces Plan To Just Let Anti-Abortion Nuts Do Whatever The Hell They Want
House Democrats Saving Mike Johnson's Ass, And Marjorie Taylor Greene Is FROTHING WITH RAGE.
Trump Trial Week Two: Here Comes The Estrogen Mafia!
What's That? You Say That Crime Is Actually Going Down *Dramatically* And Republicans Are *Lying*?
Sounds Like Trump Prefers Running Mates Who Didn't Shoot Their Puppies In The Face
Innocent Philadelphia Man Who Spent 25 Years In Solitary Gets $16 Million
Super-Dumb Trump Lawyer Was So Very Thirsty For The Approval Of ... Gateway Pundit?
James Comer Hasn't Finished His Biden Impeachment Homework Because TOO MUCH EVIDENCE, Y'ALL.
Kristi Noem Sure Is Making Friends And Influencing People!
Very Serious NYT Journalists Not Mad At Biden White House, Are Laughing Even
Congrats To Daimler Truck Auto Workers On Their New Strike-Avoiding Contract!
Evil Disney Queen Attacked By Actual Evil!
LIVE: Is White House Press Corps Still Hungover From Correspondents Dinner? Let's Find Out!
What 'Demonic Messages' Is New Hampshire Republican Seeing In These Lovely Murals?
Dog Killer Kristi Noem Had Every Right To Kill Her Dog, Says Kristi Noem
Oklahoma Republican Wants To Spank Disabled Kids For Jesus, Because Dr. Spock Was A Commie
Uh Oh! Is RFK Jr. Stealing Core Republican 'Conspiracy Theorists With Measles' Vote From Trump?
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Twenty-Six
This First-Class Seat On Etihad Is Basically An Apartment! Tabs, Mon., April 29, 2024
Traffic Stop Nabs Ocean's 11 Wannabes
Joe Biden Has Another Big F*cking Deal For Climate, Again
Another Friendly Reminder: Trump *Wants* To Increase Inflation
Happy Birthday, Mary Wollstonecraft!
Well That Was Definitely A Friday, Is What It Was!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The White Linen!
Dumbass Uses AI To Frame Boss, Hopes It Can Also Serve Jail Sentence For Him
Pete Buttigieg: What's The Deal With Airlines' Hidden Fees? Nobody Likes Those!
Nashville Judge Decides To Keep Man In Prison Because Too Many People Think He's Innocent
Murderous Governor Kristi Noem Shot Her Own Dog Like It Was A Common Migrant
Weird Jerks Thrilled By Prospect Of AI Stealing Jobs From Greedy Poor People And Immigrants
Trump Trials Of The Old And The Tootiful, Part Two
New York Times Not Biden-Hating Petty Twinks, They Are VRY SRS JOURNALISTS
6 Signs That This Is A Bad Restaurant According To A Waiter! Tabs, Fri., April 26, 2024
Wonkette's news of today is tricksy like Sam Alito!
Idaho Democrats Try Crazy Idea: Run In Every Damn District For A Change!
Harvey Weinstein's New York Conviction Was Overturned, But His Ass Will Remain In Prison
LIVE: Biden Bragging About His Accomplishments While Trump Is GAGGED
Republicans, Itching For Kent State Reenactment, Demand National Guard Bust Student Heads
Ohio May Soon Jump On Hot Trend Of Making It Illegal To Rape Your Spouse!
Arizona House Repeals 1864 Abortion Ban, Almost Joins Current Century
That Nex Benedict Died By Suicide Doesn't Let Anyone Off The Hook
Alina Habba Pretty Sure Client Going To Lose New York Trial, So That’s Some Lawyerin'
Why Does Pot Make You Hungry? Ask Science! Tabs, Thurs., April 25, 2024
Wonkette's day of news was fighting it out for postal supremacy!
James Comer Begging Jesus To Put His Biden Impeachment Investigation Out Of Its Misery
Nikki Haley Still Got Almost 17 Percent Of Pennsylvania Primary Vote, How About That?
LIVE: Your Ukraine Victory Lap White House Press Briefing!
Louisiana State U Invites Big Oil To Help With Climate 'Research,' If Price Is Right
Joe Biden Keeps Making Work Better, For Workers
Can Idaho ERs Just Let Pregnant Women Die? The Supreme Court Shall See!
Trump Is Loneliest, Maddest, Oldest, Most Upsettest Man Who Ever Lived
This Traveler's Very Simple $143,000 Mistake! Tabs, Wed., April 24, 2024
Help! I'm Obsessed With That Man's Trial!
LIVE: Joe Biden Giving Big Abortion Speech In Florida, Smacking Crap Out Of Trump
Read This Delicious Newly Unsealed Evidence In Jack Smith's Stolen Documents Case Against Trump!
In Which Roseanne Appears To Get E. Jean Carroll's Story Mixed Up With Her Own
Former Juror Agrees That Obviously Innocent Toforest Johnson Is Obviously Innocent
AZ Gov. Katie Hobbs Vetoes Actual Buttload Of Bad Republican Bills
Newt Gingrich Worried Judge Gonna Jail Trump, Just Like One Of Those 1960s Civil Rights Workers!
Can Someone Please Explain To Tommy Tuberville That Killing A Newborn Baby Is Homicide?
Jesse Watters Says Trump Much Too OLD For Criminal Trials. Much Too Who What Now? OLD, He Said OLD.
How Mike Johnson Stopped Being Scared Of MTG And Passed Ukraine Aid Anyway
BAD NEWS: Elon Just Noticed Tucker Is Creationist Idiot
You Know We Can't Actually Fit All The Unhoused People In Our Overcrowded Prisons, Right?
Reporting Of Child Vaccine Status In New Hampshire To Become Voluntary For Dumb Parents
LIVE: Joe Biden Being Woke About Earth Day, Probably
Your Weekly Sunday Show Idiots Are Kristi Noem And Kevin McCarthy!
Congratulations Volkswagen Workers On Making Labor History!
Mike Johnson Grows Spine And Passes Ukraine Aid, And Marjorie Taylor Greene Is MAD
Melania Emerges To Grift Log Cabin Republicans, Sell A Necklace
Scientists Finally Starting To Study Menopause, Also, Too!
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Twenty-Five
Inside Carrie Fisher's Upbringing With Difficult Parents! Tabs, Mon., April 22, 2024
Bill Maher Reheats Beef With Barbie
Houston Doctor Secretly Kicked Own Patients Off Liver List, Is That Bad?
Wonkette Movie Night: Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
Scientists Are Finally Starting To Study Menstruation, So That's Nice!
Trump-Pootin Ties Exposed In Court
House Fixin' To Pass Ukraine Aid Package After All. Thanks, Speaker Jeffries!
Happy Anniversary To Temporary Insanity!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Blackberry Old Fashioned!
Tesla Caps Off Perfect Week With Cybertruck Recall Due To Stuck Accelerator Pedals
Nice Time! Virginia Becomes 12th State To Ban Child Marriage, Sorry, Creepy Old Men
Ron DeSantis Thinks His New Plan To Force Religion Into Schools Is Satanist-Proof
AZ Republicans Have Found Some More Voter Fraud! Surprise It Is This Republican.
Louisiana Lege To Decide If Teens Really Need To Eat At Work
Buncha Hippies At Interior Just Made New Rule For Public Lands And We're So Happy We Could Cry
John Eastman: Woke Banks Shut Down My Accounts
Old Man Says He's Cold, Has Some Newspaper Clippings To Show You
Should You Wash Steak Before Cooking? Tabs, Fri., April 19, 2024
Charlie Kirk Tells Trump To Defy Judge's Order*, Go To Barron's Graduation!**
Marjorie Taylor Greene Crop-Dusted Ukraine And Israel Funding Bills Last Night, Ain't She A Hoot!
PA School Board Bullies Jonathan From '30 Rock' For Wanting To Give Anti-Bullying Talk
How Bad Is The Price Gouging At Prison Commissaries? Pretty Bad!
Elon Musk Really Needs That $56 Billion Payout, Tesla Shareholders. He Just Does.
How Many Times Does Trump Get To Violate His Gag Order Before Judge Merchan Jails Him?
That Time Mother Jones Helped Kick Off The West Virginia Mine War of 1912!
The Cass Review: Hey, What Does UK NHS Trans Report Mean?
What, Did A Younger, Sexier Wind Turbine Make Fun Of Trump At The White House Correspondents Dinner?
Visiting Friend Sleeps On The Rug Instead Of Guest Bed. Tabs, Thurs, April 18, 2024
Joe Biden Just Making Hilarious Jokes About Size Of Trump's Stock Prices Now
Fox News Calls Marjorie Taylor Greene Idiot As Mike Johnson At Last Moves Ass On Ukraine
House GOP Sends VRY SRS Mayorkas Impeachment To Senate For VRY SRS Trial
LIVE: SILENCE! Joe Biden Is Speaking!
Southern Governors' Anti-Auto Workers Letter Has Everything But 'We're A Family Here'
New York Times Joins Chris Rufo In Mean Girls Finger-Snapping At NPR CEO
Poor Idiot Trump Thought He Could Just Veto Jurors Forever And Ever
Kash Patel's COVID Vax Detox Vitamins Have Three Times The Nothing Of Regular Supplements!
Alina Habba Not Gonna Start Faking Smart TODAY. Sucks For You, Haters!
Cat Pictures Please. Tabs, Wed., April 17, 2024
Melania APPALLED Husband On Trial For Crimes He Committed To Cover Up Banging Porn Star
Dr. Bennett Braun Was A Monster Who Made Women Believe They Were Monsters And Now He's Dead.
Rep. Clay Higgins Wants EPA Chief Imprisoned For Regulating Pollution While Black
Tom Cotton Having Another One Of His Little Man Tough Guy Episodes, Bless His Heart
John Wayne Bobbitt Loses Further Appendages, This Time From Notorious Camp Lejeune
New York Criminal Defendant Already Being Real Pain In Ass
Supreme Court Allows Idaho To 'Protect The Children.' Just Not Trans Children.
How Much Did George Santos Pay Barbizon To Be A Model Or Just Look Like One?
Menendez Arguing With Prosecutors About Where Stacks Of Cash Came From
Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Donald Trump's Life!
Tax Season Makes Me Want To Scream
Trump Media Investors Squabble As Stock Drops Like Cartoon Anvil
Ron DeSantis Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Get Heat Stroke!)
LIVE: White House Press Briefing, Come Sit A Spell!
Elise Stefanik’s Hardscrabble Origins Included $1.2 Million Townhouse From Her Folks
No One Is Pushing Bill Maher Right, He Got There All On His Own
Chris Sununu: 'Good Republican' Poster Boy
Trump's No Peener Payoff! You're The Peener Payoff! Hush Money Trial Begins
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Twenty-Four
Is The Bar Cart Over? Tabs, Mon., April 15, 2024
Yeah You Know What, Send Us Money
Glencore Ruin Headbangers Ball
Wonkette Movie Night: Idiocracy
JD Vance Wants Ukraine To Give Up, Roll Over, Think About Someone Better-Looking
Joe Biden Cancels Another $7.4 Billion In Student Debt, Just To Troll The Haters
Let's All 'Celebrate' Jack T. Chick's 100th Birthday
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Absinthe Frappe!
Ted Cruz Insists He's Bipartisan-Curious
Heartfelt Obituary For 99 Cents Only Stores Leaves A Few Things Out
Yes, Donald Trump Still Wants To Invade America's Mortal Enemy ... Mexico?
Oh Look, Donald Trump Lying About 'Energy' This Time, And It Won't Bother His Idiot Voters
Why Does This Louisiana Woman Want To Force Her Beliefs On Your Kids So Badly?
Sean Hannity Is Freaking TF Out, Y'all
6 Decorating Mistakes That Make Your Home Look Messier! Tabs, Fri., April 12, 2024
Biden Campaign Getting Good At Tweeting Like Common A-Hole Liberal Viral Video Guy
Missouri Republican: What If You Had To Have A Unanimous Jury To Kill Someone?
Jessica Tarlov Shuts Her Fox News Colleagues' Mouths, Episode 472,576
Joe Biden Checks 'Close Gun Show Loophole' Off Dems' Bucket List
LIVE: Your Morning-After-State-Dinner White House Press Briefing!
Which Does Ken Paxton Hate More, Poor People Or Houston?
Trump Went To The Chick-Fil-A In Atlanta, Unlike Joe Biden And Abraham Lincoln
A Children's Treasury Of Rightwing Dogs Who Caught The Arizona Abortion Ban Car
Mischievous Scamps Jacob Wohl And Jack Burkman Owe Voters One MILLION Dollars
Why Does Everybody Hate Tucker Carlson Today?
The Poisonous Beauty Advice Columns Of Victorian England! Tabs, Thurs., April 11, 2024
An Olde-Time Arizona Abortion Law Hootenanny, Yikes
Today's Episode Of 'Donald Trump Tells Jewish And Black People How They Should Act'
Look It's A Nice Time State Child Tax Credit Story With Usual Suspects And ... Utah?!
Trump Org CFO Allen Weisselberg Back To Rikers! Again!
LIVE: Biden And The Japanese Prime Minister, Doing Their Stately Things
How Arizona Got Its Old-Fashioned Abortion Ban: Old-Fashioned Court Packing!
Trump's Wisconsin Senate Candidate A**hole Thinks Old People Too Mostly Dead To Vote
30 Days In Clink For Gal Who Stole Ashley Biden's Diary
Arizona Supreme Court Upholds Abortion Ban From Before Women Were Allowed To Vote
The Air-Fryer Is A Hoax! Tabs, Wed., April 10, 2024
MT Senate Candidate Millionaire SEAL Trying To Get You To Believe Some Stupid Ass Sh*t
Libs Of TikTok Fans Can't Stop Sending Bomb Threats To Planet Fitness
Elon Musk Deposition: Doxxing No Big Deal When It's Not Me!
New Zealand Tosses Sexist Gymnastics Uniform Requirements
Joe Biden Vs. Student Debt, Round Two: The Fixening!
Women's B-Ball Coach Dawn Staley WILL Go Woke, Thank You, And Whatever Opposite Of 'Broke' Is!
Arizona Prisons Now Marginally Less Horrific, Hooray!
Trump Now Suing Judge In Bid To Delay Having His Junk Described In Open Court
Nothing We Can Say, A Total Eclipse Of The ... OK, Enough Of That!
Imagine Being This Publicly Thirsty For Your Dad’s Love
Trump Doesn't Need A Nationwide Ban To Make Abortion Inaccessible
LIVE: Joe Biden Tries To Upstage SUN
How's Truth Social Doing? Devin Nunes Says Great! That's It, That's The Joke.
LIVE: Look, Marjorie Taylor Greene! Thar's Signs Up Thar In Them Heavens!
Maine Republican Just Standing Up For NEO-Nazis, Not Olden Timey Ones!
Florida Christian School Cancels 'Autism Awareness Week,' Just Like Jesus Would Have
Marjorie Taylor Greene And Boy Toy Celebrate Last Weekend Before Eclipse Ushers In Apocalypse
NEVER FORGET: That Time Donald Trump Looked Directly At An Eclipse
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Twenty-Three
Icon Of The Seas Ultimate Family Townhouse $75,000 A Week! Tabs, Mon., April 8, 2024
Canadian Government Gets Into The Alex Jones Business
Those Cakes We Like … Are Feeling Very British
Wonkette Movie Night: Fierce Creatures
Horny David Brooks. That Is All.
Enid, Oklahoma, Recalls Nazi-Ish City Council Member, And Not Fondly
Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry Threatens Female Athletes Because Did You Think He Wouldn't?
Oh Boy, Today Is The Anniversary Of Mormonism
An Earthquake And An Eclipse, All Just A Very Normal Day
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour! This Week, We're Doing Tequila Shots!
Poor, Sad Charlie Kirk Thinks Birth Control Is The Reason Girls Are Mean To Him
Elon Musk Denies Tesla Abandoning Developing Cheaper Cars That Will Kill You
NJ Earthquake Signals End Times!
Roseanne's Audition For 'Sunset Boulevard' Goes A *Tad* Off The Rails
Trump Lawyers Having Bad Week, Year, Lives
Alabama Mercedes-Benz Workers File To Join UAW, In Spite Of Union-Busting Bosses
Damn Right Food Waste Is A Climate Problem, Too
Will Monday's Eclipse Bring The Rapture, Human Sacrifices, Or Demons?
Judge Aileen Cannon Files Her Dumb Response To Jack Smith, It’s Super Dumb
Glenn. Tabs, Fri., April 5, 2024
Wonkette News Today: One Million Moms Mad At Ham
Former MA City Council Member Facing Child Porn Charges Flees To Russia, Joins Army
LIVE: The VICE President Talking About Fighting Climate Change, Because She's Great
LIVE: Briefly, The White House Press Briefing
Mean New York Judge Won’t Delay Trump’s Hush Money Porn Peener Payoff Trial, Hell Beginneth April 15
Over 80 Percent Of Texas Women Don't Know How Bad Their State's Abortion Laws Are
Oregon Fish Truck Crash Is Emotional, Environmental Roller Coaster Ride
That Time Memphis Sanitation Workers Went On Strike And ... Well You Know The Rest
Pissed-Off Family Of Murdered Ruby Garcia Blasts Lying Trump
Donald Trump Jr. Says The Bank Is Tracking Your Bible Purchases For The FBI, Is That True?
Could Rats Be The Secret To Saving History? Tabs, Thurs., April 4, 2024
Wonkette News Today: Trump IS Still Losing a Lot of Republican Votes for a Republican Nominee!
Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Sex-Banging Partner Brian Also Has Some Neat Ideas About Space
John Eastman Recommended For Disbarment, His Kids Beg For Cash
Sounds Like Jack Smith Just About Through With Judge Habba-We-Mean-Cannon's Assclownery
Why Won't Pete Buttigieg Do Something About Houthis For Elon Musk?
LIVE: White House Press Briefing, IF YOU DARE
RFK Jr. Gets VERY ANGRY! When You Remind Him Of Every Wackjob Thing He's Ever Said
Bookselling While Black Latest Danger Occupation In North Carolina
If CA Fast Food Franchise Owners Want To Be Mad At Someone, Perhaps Consider Landlords?
Trump Still Losing Heckuva Lot Of Primary Votes For Guy Running Unopposed
Wonkette News Today: Ma'am, 'The Left' Didn't Make You Pay A Shaman For Dating Advice!
Trump Lawyer Alina Habba Is Besties With This Real Housewife Of New Jersey And Wait Come Back!
TN Lege Hopes To Protect State's Precious Bodily Fluids From 'Vaccine Lettuce'
LIVE: Another Day, Another WHITE HOUSE PROPAGANDA SESH!
Florida Supreme Court's Horrifying Approval Of Six-Week Abortion Ban May Well Be Its Own Undoing
'Bad Credit? No Credit? No Problem!' Guy Posts $175M Bond For Trump, America Great Again
Texas Republicans Share Perfectly Normal Fantasies About Killing Women Who Have Abortions, IVF
Ma'am, No One On The Left Made You Pay A Shaman For Dating Advice
10 Cats Who Don’t Even Get Beyoncé’s New Album, Because They’re Cats! Tabs, Tuesday, Apr. 2, 2024
Don't Faint, But Trump's Stock Ain't Doin' So Hot
Trump's Stupid Overvalued Stock Crashes, Will Keep Crashing, Is Stupid
Donald Trump To Judge: Oh Yeah? Your Daughter's Ugly, Whatcha Gonna Do About It?
This Day In Labor History: April 1, 1929, When Textile Workers Started Striking In The South
Which Other Holidays Oppressed Conservatives On Easter?
LIVE: White House Press Briefing Indoctrinate YOU
LIVE: Jill Biden Indoctrinates Children
Heathen President Biden Acknowledges Both Easter AND Trans Visibility Day, Wingnuts Flip Out
LIVE: That White House Easter Egg Roll Thingie
Elon Musk Participates In April Fool’s Ritual Of ‘Make Joke'
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Twenty-Two
What Is An Easter Bunny Puppy? Let's Not Find Out Together!
Wonkette Movie Night: The Great Dictator
Jon Stewart Roasts Shark For Being In Tank
Lara Trump Unleashes New Horror On Nation In Form Of Song
Let My Godless Children Enjoy Easter!
Are You Ready For An Easter Adventure?!?
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Doctor Funk!
Right-Wing Men Reveal Their Super Secret Plans To Seduce Us All Into Voting For Republicans
Minnesota Nice Time: Just Free College For Minnesota Kids Is All!
Life Under Glenn Youngkin: No Weed Or Higher Pay, But Shoot Each Other All You Want
MI Rep Matt Maddock Sees Something, Says Something, Is Hilariously Wrong, Won't Shut Up
Fancy British Mancave: No Girls Allowed!
I'm Sorry, But I Just Really Hate These People Who Are Suing Hermès Over Birkin Bags
Aussie Billionaire Building New Titanic To Sink 'Wokeness'
James Comer Gonna Make Joe Biden Sit In This Chair ‘Til He Tells Congress What He Did!
The 14 Best Hotels In Toronto! Tabs, Fri., March 29, 2024
RFK Jr. Running Mate Thinks Sunlight Is The Best Fertility Treatment
World's Worst People Know Why That Ship Crashed Into The Bridge. Oh, *YOU* Know.
Nobody In America Goes To Church Anymore. Eat It, White Conservative Losers.
Shocking Study Finds Pharmaceutical Companies Once Again Screwing Diabetes Patients
Joe Lieberman Didn’t Leave Earth, Earth Left Him
47 Sweet Easter Desserts To Celebrate Spring! Tabs, Thurs., March 28, 2024
Are You Better Off Today Than When The US Lost 3.3 Million Jobs In One Week?
In Soviet Russia, Junk Pummel Matt Schlapp!
LIVE From The White House, Another Place Ronna McD Can't Work, It's A Press Briefing!
Yeah, Seems Like We Should Probably Get Rid Of The Comstock Laws!
Minnesota Republican Won't Store Guns Safely, Because Cows Out To Kill Us All
Racist GOP Smear Campaign Against Muslim Judicial Nominee Is Working — And Two Dems Helped!
Ronna (Romney) McDaniel Fails To Stop The Steal Of Her NBC News Gig
Liza Minnelli's Favorite Five-Ingredient Appetizer! (It's Potato Skins.) Tabs, Wed., March 27, 2024
Wonkette Today: Schwarzenegger's Abortion Pill Waffle House Time Machine!
GET YOURSELF A PIECE OF #DJT STOCK TO OWN THE LIBS IF YOUR A TRUE MAGA SUPPORTER
Did Arnold Schwarzenegger Take Robot Time Machine To Vaxx Himself A Heart Defect?
LIVE: Joe Biden Talking. Kamala Harris Talking. You Listening.
For Some Reason Waffle House Workers Don't Want To Pay For Food They Don't Eat
Rachel Maddow Leaves Yelp Review For Ronna (Romney) McDaniel, It Is GTFO A**hole
Project Veritas Is Back, Harassing Private Schools
Nashville Man May Soon Be Free After Serving 25 Years For 'Shaken Baby Syndrome'
Explaining The Big Ol' Abortion Pill Supreme Court Hearing Today
10 Extreme Coupon Tips For Normal People! Tabs, Tues., March 26, 2024
Wonkette news of today: Elno, Measles, and Boeing, marry f*ck kill?
If You're In Northern Parts Of The USA Tonight, DO Look Up. You Might See Pretty Sun Farts!
Is It Even A Sunday Show If Ronna (Romney) McDaniel Isn't On It?
NY Appeals Court Allows Donald Trump Dainty Little Bond As Itty-Bitty As His Hands
Boeing Management Sucked Through Gaping Hole In Plane
When Banks Say No To Trump, Jeff Yass Says YASS!
USA Measles Futures Up Sharply In Early Trading
Don't You Dare Investigate Leonard Leo's Nonprofits!
The People Are Clamoring For Ronna (Romney) McDaniel!
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Twenty-One
What Happens To The Stay-At-Home Girlfriend After A Breakup? Tabs, Mon., March 25, 2024
Jordan Peterson Mad About Crosswalks Now, As One Is
Wonkette Movie Night: Paddington 2
(Baby) Fox News: Evil Brainwashing Plot
Free Speech Hero Man Elon Musk Bravely Protecting Actual Nazis From People Speaking Their Names
House Avoids Government Shutdown, And Now The Mutiny Begins
Would You Believe It's Cuddly Kitten Day?
Wonkette's Day Of News Doesn't Have EITHER Of Those YIKES News Stories That Just Came Out!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Angos In America!
House Republicans 'Fiscal Sanity' Plan Back To Interrogating Poor Kids' Lunch
New York Times Wonders If *This* Will Be The Legit Trump Business We've Waited For! (No.)
New York Times Story On Merrick Garland Almost As Frustrating As Merrick Garland
Are My Neighbors Totally Nuts?
John Hinckley Thinks He's A Victim Of Cancel Culture? Well ... Mostly True!
Donald Trump Claims He *Can Too* Pay Civil Judgment, He Just Doesn't Wanna
Tennessee Senate Takes Bold Stance Against Chemtrails
Government Miiiiiight Not Shut Down Tonight
Alleged Bribedaddy Sen. Bob Menendez Is Telling Youuuuu He Is Not Goooooing
Surprise: Donald Trump Didn't Give Two Good Sh*ts About Saint Ashli Babbitt's Jan 6 Martyrdom
Celebrities You Forgot Are Currently Locked Up! Tabs, Fri., March 22, 2024
Oh no Donald Trump has no small donors left on whom to feed :(
Poor Kyle Rittenhouse Meaned At In Memphis
Why Didn't Chicago 'Bring Chicago Home'?
Hopeless Romantic Rupert Murdoch Marrying Into Russian Oligarch Family
Oh No, Donald Trump Has Bled All His Small Donors Dry, Has None Left On Whom To Feed
Jared Kushner Has So Many War-Torn Death Sites To Build Resorts On, So Little Time
What If We Treated Fashion Models Like People Instead Of Laughing When They're Abused?
EPA Vehicle Emissions Rules Here To Save Planet, Make You Wear Birkenstocks
Trump-Endorsed Wackjob Bernie Moreno To Face Sen. Sherrod Brown In Ohio Senate Race
Jennifer Aniston Has Never Lived Down Starring In This Film! Tabs, Thurs., March 21, 2024
These 'James Comer Staples Own Donger To Wall' Hearings Are Great, Let's Do One Every Day!
Trump In Garage In Puddle Of Tears Trying To Find Some Of Eric's Old Toys To Sell For $454 Million
If We Were Donald Trump, Last Night's Primary Results Would Give Us Panic Attacks
Orange, California, School Board Creeps Who Voted To Out Trans Kids Tossed Out In Recall
Are The US Government And Constitution Based On The Ten Commandments? How About No!
LIVE FROM PRISON: James Comer’s Latest Star Witness Or Whatever
Supreme Court: Maybe Texas Can Go Ahead And Pretend It's At War With Mexico. Might Be Fun!
Why Your House Is So Dusty, And How To Fix It! Tabs, Wed., March 20, 2024
Wonkette's Today in News: Olympic FRANCH SAX!
Paris Olympics A Go For [INSERT FRENCH ROMANCE SOUNDS]
Your Next Culture War Battlefront: Leaf Blowers
There Goes Trump, Seething At American Jews Again
Post-Roe America Is A Regular Ol' Abortionpalooza
Astrazeneca Suddenly Figured Out They Don't Have To Charge $640 For Inhalers
Trump Too Poor To Afford His $454 Million Bond. It Seems To Be Bothering Him.
For Sale: Biden Shoes, Never Worn
What Was That Anti-Anti-Gender Lady Talking About, Don't Pretend You Already Knew!
Nation's Children On Accidental Killing Spree
Hello! Help Me, Vladimir Putin, Celebrate My Totally Unexpected Election Victory!
Donald Trump Did Not Mean A Literal Bloodbath This Particular Time! Fake News!
Liberty Counsel Dude Mat Staver Wants You To Stop Heating Your Home With Dead Babies
Trump Has Be Best Idea For Campaign Helper, It Is Paul Manafort Again!
Donald Trump Meant AUTO INDUSTRY Will Be Bloodbath If He Loses, Stop Misunderstanding His Nuance!
If It's Monday, It's Time For WHITE HOUSE To Meet The Press!
This Week's Sunday Shows Featured A Lot Of Garbage People Named 'Mike'
Tommy Tuberville Tired Of These Dang Satanic Cults Refusing To Force Religion On Anyone
LIVE: Women's History Month At The White House!
Mike Pence Tells Trump, 'No Endorsement For You! Please Don't Let Your Fans Try To Kill Me Again!'
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Twenty
That Time I Saw An Anaheim Angel Get A Parking Lot Blowjob! Tabs, Mon., March 18, 2024
Psycho Killer Hockey, Qu'est-ce Que C'est?
South Dakota Democrat Demands Whole Tooth On Kristi Noem's Texas Dental Shenanigans
Wonkette Movie Night: Kinky Boots
'Women Of Distinction' Award Named For Ruth Bader Ginsburg Going To Very Terrible Men
Jailed Chinese Billionaire Funneled Even More $$$ To Steve Bannon And Jason Miller
Marjorie Taylor Greene Wants To Talk To You About The Black Market Of Baby Organ Harvesting
Happy Day You're Probably Actually Celebrating St. Patrick's Day!
Knock Wonkette Down And It Is Up Again!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Irish Whiskey Sour!
Fani Willis's Trump Georgia RICO Case Back On Despite All The Sex
Perhaps James Crumbley Should Have Locked Up His Gun
James Lankford Censured For Doing One Decent Thing In His Miserable Legislative Career
All 119 Teachers In Flint, Michigan, Called In Sick This Week And The Reason Will Devastate You!
Bernie Sanders Wants 32-Hour Work Week So We Can Become France.
Mike Lindell To Prove Machines Stoled Kari Lake's Rightful Election Win. Again.
Picture It: A TikTok Full of Steve Mnuchin ASMR Eyeshadow Tutorials
Social Security Chief Martin O'Malley Decides To Get Agency Out Of The Life-Ruining Business
Weird How Katie Britt Turns Off Her Fundie Baby Voice When She's Just Blabbing On Ted Cruz's Podcast
10 Beautiful Bar Shelf Ideas To Raise A Glass To! Tabs, Fri., March 15, 2024
America, it's your future VP Aaron Rodgers! Just kidding!
Future Vice President* Aaron Rodgers Swears He Never Said Sandy Hook Was A False Flag
Ron DeSantis, 'Libs Of TikTok' Jerk Just Taking Turns Eating Each Other's Faces
Three Pop Stars And Kellyanne Conway Come Out For Abortion Rights! Minus Kellyanne Conway.
How Is Trump Playing Tickle Monster With Dictators This Week?
Joe Biden's 2025 Budget Like A Sears Wish Book For Democrats
Republican Ken Buck's F*ck You to Republicans on way out Congress's door
Ken Buck Resignation Is Giant F*ck You To Mike Johnson AND Lauren Boebert
Trans Lady Existing At Space Camp, So That's A Thing To Be Upset About If You Are Disgusting
California *Probably* Just Voted For Billions To Help Homeless People
California Fast Food Minimum Wage Going To $20/Hour, Panic Now And Save Time!
Robert Hur's Testimony Did Not Exonerate Him From Charges He's A Slimy Partisan Hack
Creepy Texas Father Wins Right To Deny His Daughters Birth Control
Donald Trump Talks Social Security Cuts, Not That He'd Ever Cut Social Security, Unless He Does
I've Never Seen Such A COLORFUL Bunch Of Lunch Ideas! Tabs, Wed., March 13, 2024
Ben Shapiro Coming For Your Retirement, Wants Everyone To Work Until They Are Dead
UCLA Republicans Go Batsh*t Racist, Sure To Be Condemned By GOP Any Minute Now
Andrew Tate's Years Of Sex Offense Accusations Just May — *May* — Be Catching Up With Him
Federal Judge To AstraZeneca: You Wanna Sell Drugs To Medicare? Then You Negotiate Prices!
LIVE: Where Were You When Joe Biden Tried To Give You The Butterscotches? The Robert Hur Hearing!
Republicans Still Unable To Sell Women On Upside Of Losing Their Reproductive Rights
Weird How It's Always The Young Republicans Getting Arrested For Murder And 'Sexual Torture'
How Did The Oscars Hurt MAGA's Feelings This Year?
Oscars So Woke And Other Dumb Reactions By Dumb People About The Academy Awards
North Carolina Republicans Pick QAnon Weirdo To Head Schools
LIVE AND IN PERSON: It's Joe Biden!
Judge Tells Peter Navarro To Go Directly To Jail, Do Not Pass 'Go,' Do Not Collect $200
How to Weaponize Trauma And Lies 'The Republican Way'
How Did We Worship Our Lord Satan At The Oscars This Year?
Katie Britt Walks Back Lying About Border, Wonders Where Her Oscar Nomination Is
Trump Hosts Viktor Orbán For Mar-A-Lago Playdate
Andrew Zimmern Explains Why Your Five Guys Order Is $24! Tabs, Mon., March 11, 2024
Wonkette Movie Night: Hot Fuzz
You'll Never Believe It, But 'Nature's Liquid Adderall' Doesn't Help ADHD *OR* Arthritis
At This Difficult Time, We Ask You Respect The Privacy Of Matt Rosendale And His Family/ies
Lara Trump Takes Over RNC, Looting Of Its Bank Accounts Sure To Begin Soon
Don’t Start None, Won’t Be None
What a day, with your Wonkette day of news!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Firing Squad!
Joe Biden Gave A Hell Of A Speech And The Hit Dogs Hollered
Kris Kobach Yells At Joe Biden: Kansas Wants To EAT MORE LEAD.
George Santos, Pulitzer Prize Winner And Rangers All-Star Goalie, Returns To Run For Congress Again
If Capital Punishment Is So Great, Why Are Death Penalty States So Shady About It?
Not New! Unimproved! The Wonkette Bazaar!
During SOTU, Did House Speaker Mike Johnson Need To Poop? Wonkette Zapruders!
Tom Hanks Mad He Didn't Learn About The Tulsa Massacre In School, And He's Right
RFK Jr. Group Takes Bold Stand Against Vaccines For Things Vaccines Have Already Eradicated
My Name Is Katie Britt, And I Am Singing ‘Tomorrow’ From ‘Annie’ In The Style Of ‘Birth Of A Nation’
A Seriously Spectacular House On The Coast Of Peru! Tabs, Fri., March 8, 2024
Mike Johnson Told Republicans Not To Act Like Pigs During Tonight’s SOTU. Good Luck.
Catholic Girl Sues Virginia Over High School Trans Toilet Policy (Letting Trans Kids Pee)
ADMIRAL Doctor Pill-Pusher Rep. Ronny Jackson? Haha, Ahem, No.
What? Elon Musk Just Lying His A** Off About Illegal Aliens, 'Treason'? How Can This Beeeeee?
Missouri GOPer Wants To Put Teachers On Sex Offenders List For Using Students' Preferred Pronouns
Hunter Biden Might Get To Watch James Comer Staple His Donger To The Wall In A Public Hearing!
Psst, Buddy! Wanna Buy Some 'Certified' Fossil Gas? It's Even Better Than 'Clean Coal'!
Elon Musk Went To Mar-A-Lago, Let Trump Sniff Around His Butt For Spare Change
Why Did Your Favorite News Outlet Go Under? Tabs, Thurs., March 7, 2024
Wonkette news of today: All of it, Katie!
MARGE TAYLOR GREENE NOT A JEWISH SPACE LASER, YOUR A JEWISH SPACE LASER!
Texas Dem Colin Allred Vs. Ted Cruz: What If Texas Voters Found Their Minds?
LIVE: White House Press Briefing Got A Blank Space, Baby, And It'll Write Your Name
Hooray, Dean Phillips F*cking Off!
Supreme Court Wants More $$$ To Protect Supreme Court
New York Times Polls Doing That Thing Again
OK Dean Phillips, Time To F*ck Off
Physicists: Known Universe Too Small For Kyrsten Sinema To F**k Off Far Enough
Should Joe Biden Even Be Allowed To Run For President After Humiliating Loss In American Samoa?
Scandals That Rocked The Food Network To Its Core! Tabs, Wed., March 6, 2024
Kyrsten Sinema Makes Tuesday REALLY Super
'What Has JK Rowling Ever Actually Said That Is Transphobic?' How About This One?
Fox News Panel Has North Korean News Lady Contest For Trump, Everybody Wins
ExxonMobil Very Sad You Did Climate Change. Also: Suing People Who Don't Want Climate Change.
LIVE: White House Press Briefing, Whod'a Thunk?
Abortion Now Officially A Constitutional Right In France
IRS Coming For Your Private Jet Deductions, Watch Out!
Kristin Welker Is The Chuck Todd Of Chuck Todd Replacements
Put Your Money Where Your Vote Is!
No, Radical Gay-Hating Bigot NC Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson Is Not Martin Luther King Jr. On Steroids
White Trump Supporters Are Making And Sharing Fake AI Photos Of Him With Black People
Golly Gee, The Supreme Court Is Enabling Trump's Fascism Again
Looks Like Kellogg's CEO Marie Antoinetted Himself Into A Full-On Boycott Over Price Gouging
Ex-Trump Org CFO Allen Weisselberg Pleads Guilty, Again
LIVE: Forget The Supreme Court, Watch These International Women Of Courage!
Trump Promises To Turn America's Schools Into Old-Timey Sanatoriums
Lauren Boebert Scores Trump Endorsement, Fancy Profile In WaPo 'Style' Section
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Eighteen
The Paris Street Style Scene Has Never Looked Better! Tabs, Mon., March 4, 2024
EV News: Apple Drops 'iCar,' Ford Scrambles To Develop Cheap EVs Before China Eats Its Lunch
Those Cakes We Like ... Are Raisin Hell
Federal Judge Blocks Greg Abbott's Fake Immigration Law, Rubs His Nose In Constitution
West Virginia Senate Votes To Expose Children To Ridiculous Anti-Abortion Propaganda
Biden Administration Finally Moves One F***ing Inch Off Its Israel Policy
Happy Lou Reed's Birthday To All Who Celebrate
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Tijuana Slipper!
Baseball Conspiracy Will Make You Horny!
Hunter Biden Might Have Called His Wife Once, And Other Informative Nuggets The GOP Turned Up!
Football Man Pretty Sure Space Is Fake
Conservative Woman Discovers Misogyny, Part 4,893,893,279,237!
Trump Sued By Business Partners Who Were Dumb Enough To Go Into Business With Him
Wonkette Pal Sarah Taber Running For NC Ag Commissioner, So Move There And Vote For Her!
SCOTUS May Kill 'Bump Stock' Ban So Some Lucky Ducky Can Top Las Vegas Massacre's Death Toll
Oh, What? Death Row Inmate Exonerated After 30 Years In Jail? But That Has Never Happened Before!
10 Things You Should NEVER Do If You Visit Venice! Tabs, Fri., March 1, 2024
God's Petting Zoo and more in today's Wonkette of News!
Meet The Lady Who Rode Giraffes Bareback With Jesus In God’s Petting Zoo
I Don't Care What Your Dairy Queen Manager Tells You, They Can't Make You Eat Poisoned Ice Cream
Creepin' Jimmy O'Keefe Stalks Judge Engoron At The Gym
The FTC Thinks Your Groceries Are Expensive Enough Already Without A Kroger-Albertsons Merger
Idiot Mississippi Senator Ain't Gonna Have Y'all Rustlin' Up No 'Human-Animal Chimeras!'
Illegitimate Partisan Hack Supreme Court Joins Trump's Attack On America
'Stop Cop City' Activists Arrested In Arizona Pretty Sure Nationwide Not On Our Side
Congress (Probably) Dodges Government Shutdown, Again! (Like Literally For A Week)
'No Porn Please, We're The Conservative Party Of Canada'
Sounds Like James Comer Stapled His Donger To The Wall Again With This Hunter Biden Deposition
Let's Go Do Some Crimes. Tabs, Thurs., Feb. 29, 2024
All roads lead (Wonkette) to Michigan. News of today!
Get Me Out of This Scenic Right-Wing Hellhole!
Time For Another Government Shutdown Scare, Because Republicans
Fulton County Cringe Continues With Lawyer Zooming In Underpants
LIVE: White House Press Briefing? More Like Press LONGING.
Mitch McConnell Peacing Out, Has One More (UKRAINE) Thing (UKRAINE) On To-Do List (UKRAINE)
LIVE: Dark Brandon Fights Crime
Judge Rules Normal Plain Vanilla Awful Republican The Winner Of All Michigan GOP's Debts
Let's See How James Comer's Impeachment Investigation Is Going. Is He Nailing It?
Joe Biden Wins Michigan Primary, Casting Further Doubt On Viability As Nominee
OOF. The Bad Naomi Is Pretty Sure No One Has Seen A Pregnant Woman Since COVID
Senate Republicans Might Kill IVF Protection Bill, Who Needs Some Silly Law Like That?
Anthony Bourdain's Five Ingredient Sandwich Left Us Speechless! Tabs, Wed., Feb. 28, 2024
Wonkette news of today: Gonna go vote to make sure Old Joe beats "uncommitted" in Michigan!
PSA: It's Still Not Okay To Fat Shame People, Even If They Are Really, Really, Really Bad
Joe Biden Went On Seth Meyers Last Night, Knew Where He Was And Everything!
LIVE: White House Got Some Splaining To Do!
New York Times Rightwinger Cancelled Over Sandwich :(
1000 Tibetans Arrested For Protesting China's Destruction Of Homes, Ancient Monasteries For A Dam
Newt Gingrich Extremely Offended By Michelle Obama's Intense Blackness
The Time Detroit Women SAT DOWN.
Utah May Soon Ban Non-Existent 'Satanic Ritual Abuse'
Super-Dumb Trump Lawyer Burned By Own Burner Account
The Persecution Of Poor Trump Continues!
Donald Trump Is The Most Persecuted Man In History, Just Ask Him
Trump Lawyers Spend Weekend Whining, Losing
America's Least Funny People Ecstatically Cry 'Comedy Is Back!' As Shane Gillis Drops Slurs On SNL
GOP Stupidity Begins At Conception
What Nazis At CPAC? Oh, THOSE Nazis At CPAC, Says CPAC
Whoops, There Goes Another Idaho Labor And Delivery Unit!
Clarence Thomas Hires Clerk Who Mocked Muslims, Said She Hates Black People
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Seventeen
When Vacation Is Your Entire Personality! Tabs, Mon., Feb. 26, 2024
Trump, Entire GOP: Life Begins At Conception, Unless It's Good Republicans Wanting IVF
Wonkette Movie Night: Bohemian Rhapsody
Delay the Climate Apocalypse AND Save Cash!
Tommy Tuberville Fails At Political Analysis, AP Biology
Freedom Convoy Idiots Shooting to Defund the Police
Diane, 11:30 AM, February 24th. Entering The Town Of Twin Peaks
Is It Friday Already/Yet? Yr Wonkette Roundup!
Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Gold Rush!
Freedom-Loving Republicans Want Everyone to Dress 'Modestly' And Stop Having Recreational Sex
Biden Should Slap Sanctions On House Republicans, Settles For New Penalties On Russia
Private Equity Firm Grim Reaper Comes For VICE, Hundreds Laid Off
Fox News Has New Reason For All Black People To Vote For Donald Trump
Federal Judge To Mike Lindell: Time Toupee $5 Million To Guy Who Met Your $5 Million 'Challenge'
Are Our Schools Being Overrun By Furby Litter Boxes Or Are These Fox News Ladies Very Stupid?
I'm Not Your Devil Anymore: A Story Of Nex Benedict, Rage, And Grief
Quack FL Surgeon General OK With Sending Unvaccinated Kids To School During Measles Outbreak
When The Laundry Women Went Out On Strike: This Day in Labor History, February 23, 1864
Having Lost Fraud Case Bigly, Donald Trump Decides Now Is Time To Negotiate A Settlement
It's CPAC! Here Are Some Weird Republican Fantasies About Kamala Harris And Michelle Obama.
Joe Biden Calls Putin 'Crazy SOB,' Kremlin Calls Biden 'Hollywood Cowboy' Just Like ... Reagan?
RAWR! CPAC Speakers Fantasize About A Michelle Obama-Kamala Harris Catfight
LIVE: Kamala Harris Talking Some More About Reproductive Freedoms! STAY MAD, Everyone!
Weird, Mike Johnson's Republican Colleagues Don't Even Want To Listen To Him Yap About Jesus 24/7
Happy CPAC! Here Are Some New Developments In That Schlong Schlapping Matt Schlapp Lawsuit!
Outraged Anti-Vaxxers Learn The Red Cross Doesn't Separate Vaccinated And Unvaccinated Blood
Chris Rufo Has Ties To Yet Another Fascist Racist Right-Wing Rag, Surprise Surprise!
Is That Sawdust Or Is Sean Hannity A Partisan Meathead? A Wonkette Investigation
Nikki Haley Saw Babies In The Freezer, And One Of The Babies Looked At Her
Coors Workers Are On Strike, Would Like More Than A 99 Cent Raise, Please!
If You See This Bug You Have A Big Problem! Tabs, Thurs. Feb. 22, 2024
Is James Comer's Humiliation Complete, Or? ...
Justice Alito Is Going To Need His Pacifier And His Blankie Again
LIVE: Joe Biden Would Like To Say Some REMARKS
Trump Being Persecuted Just Like Navalny, Minus The Poisoning And Mysterious Death
James Comer Loses Star Witness, Impeachment, Still Has ????????? Going For Him
Mommy Vlogger Getting Cancel Cultured Into Prison For Abusing Her 'Possessed' Children
SCOTUS To Marge Taylor Greene: PAY UP!
The Dakota? I Hardly Know Ya! Tabs, Wed., Feb. 21, 2024
TFW Snoop Dogg Hurts Your Feelings And You Almost Forget To Overthrow The Government
Trump's Presidency Ended Not With A Bang, But With A MAD AT SNOOP DOGG
Forbidden Anti-Woke Truths At Bari Weiss's Forbidden Anti-Woke Truth-iversity REVEALED!
West Virginia House Gonna Put Those Obscene Teachers And Librarians IN JAIL
Trump Team Not Preparing To Turn America Into Christian Theocracy, How Dare You!
LIVE: Vice President Harris In Pittsburgh Talking About Woke 'Clean Water'
Please, Please Let Trump Get Sued By Christian Louboutin Over His Hideous Shoes
Biden Administration Maybe Slowing Its Roll On EV Transition, Sucks If True
If Charlie Kirk And The Other Republicans Can't Get Along, They Should Just Fight
You'll Never Guess What Anti-Vaxxers Think Alexei Navalny Died From
Fertilized Eggs Legally People In Alabama Now, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Trump NY Judgment A Slippery Slope To Making Mom-And-Pop Fraudsters Pay For THEIR Frauds!
Behold, The Terrible AI Cartoon That Explains The World As MAGA Sees It
If Judge Engoron Can Say This Stuff To Trump, He Can Say It To ANY World Historical Fraud Grifter
The Consistent Inconsistency Of Tim Scott
Trumpy Truckers To 'Boycott' NYC To Protest Judge's Ruling
Brave Sir Lindsey Graham Runs Away
NY AG's Lawsuit Against Grifty NRA Gun-Humpers FINALLY Heads To Jury
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Sixteen
Five Things To Get Rid Of In February! Tabs, Mon., Feb. 19, 2024
Canadian Black History Month? That Legal?
Of Course The Racist Michigan Rep. Is A White Rapper Who Thinks Lincoln Wrote The Constitution
Wonkette Movie Night: The Mighty Quinn
Fulton County Cringe! Fani Willis's Disqualification Drama Staggers On
Georgia Senator Attacked By Meth Gator … Or Trans Girl
Judge Engoron Scorches Trump's Ass In Fraud Ruling And He Can't Even Afford Bactine Now
It's Wonkette's Presidents' Day Weekend Blowout Mattress Sale!
Wonkette News of Today: Yes, ALL OF IT.
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Admiral Schley Highball!
Oh Brother, Can You Spare Donald Trump A Dime?
Conservative TV Host Ponders What 'Good Guy' Hitler Could Have Done With All That Nationalism
Navalny Interrupts Putin PR Agent Tucker Carlson's Work By Dropping Dead
'Sex Parties With Matt Gaetz' Literally The Last Thing We Wanted To Think About This Morning
Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Do Blackface With The Samples In Sephora
Florida Book Bans Have Really Gone Overboard If Even Ron DeSantis Noticed
Oh Washington State Just Gonna Pay Workers To Strike, Huh? Yes? Well Then That's Great!
James Comer’s Star Witness Indicted For Makin’ Up Sh*t About Bidens, Just Like Comer Does!
Maggots Rain Down On Delta Passengers From Overhead Bin! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 16, 2024
Today in Wonkette! Putin Hates Tucker.
Everybody Hates Mike Johnson And Thinks He Sucks, Even His Republican Colleagues
March Comes In Like A Lion And Out With A TRUMP CRIMINAL TRIAL
One Million Moms All Upset Over Jesus Foot Fetish Super Bowl Commercial
LIVE: White House Press Briefing, If That's Even Its Real Name
18 Percent Of Americans THAT Stupid
America's Most Extra Anti-Vaxxer Busted For January 6 Shenanigans
Otter Eats Fish Parfaits With Impeccable Table Manners! Tabs, Thurs., Feb. 15, 2024
Wonkette Movie Night: Birds Of Prey (And The Fantabulous Emancipation Of One Harley Quinn)
Wonkette today: Kisses OF LOVE!
DEAR MELANIA: ROSES ARE RIGGED, VIOLETS ARE STOLLEN, GIVE ME 47 DOLLARS, WITCH HUNT!
Look At This Hippie Jerk Who Gave His Company To His Workers ... Waaaait A Minute.
Is It Time To Panic? Or Is Everything Cool? Please Advise.
Democrat Tom Suozzi Wins George Santos's Former Seat, Will Remove Whoopie Cushion And Nobel Prize
Jared Kushner Shows Face In Public, Living His Best $2 Billion Life
LIVE: White House Got You This Valentine, It's A Press Briefing
Poor Coward House Speaker Mike Johnson Just Ain't Know What To Do About This Here Ukraine Aid!
Last-Minute Valentines For Hot People
Oh Boy, Rob Schneider Is Gonna Be Makin' Copies For RFK's Big 'Night Of Laughter'!
Mayorkas Impeached, Reason TBD At Later Date, Or Never, Whatever
Is It Cheaper To Book Your Airfares And Hotels Directly Or Not? Tabs, Wed., Feb. 14, 2024
Wonkette Today! Fox News saw Hillary doing a sexism to Taylor Swift's boyfriend :(
Fox News Saw Hillary Clinton Doing A Sexism To Taylor Swift's Boyfriend
Trump's Deport Everyone Wet Dream A Little Heavy On Storm Troopers For Our Taste
Impeachment Is Giant Turd, So House Republicans Gonna Investigate Joe Biden For Being Old
Utah Lawmaker Doesn't Want Anyone To Know About His Christian Nationalist Speaking Gigs
Hawaii Supreme Court Bucks SCOTUS Gun Rulings, Pees On Antonin Scalia's Grave For Good Measure
Senate Just Passed Ukraine Aid Over Hysterical Screams From Elon Musk And All Putin's MAGA Boys
Michigan GOPer Loses Everything Just For Saying Some Nazi Sh*t
Could January 6 Have Gone On For Two Weeks? That Was Super-Dumb Trump Lawyer's Plan!
Fox News Saw Taylor Swift Doing A Beer
Oh Look, A Random Box In The Yard. Let’s See What’s Inside… WHOA! Tabs, Tues., Feb. 12, 2024
Trump Hates The Troops. Nikki Haley Hates Trump. The Super Bowl Loves DEVIL.
LIVE: King Abdullah II And King Biden!
RFK Jr. Very Sorry His Family Offended By Super Bowl Ad He Continues Promoting Anyway
LIVE: Will White House Apologize For Biden Choreographing Super Bowl With Taylor Swift?
How Did We Worship Our Lord Satan At The Super Bowl This Year?
Trump Set To Turn NATO Into The Trump Steaks Of Diplomatic Alliances
LIVE: Biden Speaking! In Public!
Nikki Haley Reminds Voters How Much Trump Hates The Troops
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Fifteen
Inside Taylor Swift's Star-Studded Super Bowl 2024 Suite! Tabs, Mon., Feb. 12, 2024
This Is Just Some Really Good Evangelical Advice On How Not To Get Astral Projected On
Former Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan Announces Senate Run, F*cksy Doodle Sh*t
Do I Tell My Crush I Like Her?!
Suppose They Held A Trucker Convoy And Nobody Came
Studies Used To Ban Abortion Drug Retracted For Being Loads Of Crap
Idaho Lawmaker Moves To Ban Non-Consensual Cannibalism
Happy National Flannel Day To All Who Celebrate Or Whatever
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Cuba Libre!
Carroll Judge Tells Trump It's Time To Pay Up, Rapist
Joe Biden Had A Press Conference With Your Mom Last Night
Hello! Score Is I, Vladimir Putin: One, Weird Boy-Man Tucker Carlson: Zero
If One More Conspiracy Theorist Murders Their Dad This Year, We're Gonna Have A Trend Piece
Utah School Board Bigot Makes Clear: Coming For The Trans Kids Means They're Coming For *You*
Iowa Republican Wants To Ban Public Displays Of Satanism, Human Sacrifice
Yet Another Man Exonerated Of A Crime That Probably Didn't Even Happen
Robert Hur Is A Partisan Hack Piece Of Sh*t Who Wishes He Had A Case Against Joe Biden
15 Family Friendly Maldives Resorts That Have Kids Clubs! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 9, 2024
Wonkette today! More apologies and libel bills for human beer fart James O'Keefe!
More Apologies And Libel Bills For Human Beer Fart James O’Keefe
EU Could Sanction Tucker Carlson For His Little Russian Adventure, And MAGA Is SQUEALING
LIVE: White House Press Briefing, More Like Woke House
You Know What Solves Poverty? Throwing Money At It!
'Popular' MAGA Idiot Who Threatened James Lankford Maybe Not So Popular, But Heck Of A Story, James!
Marianne Williamson Drops Out Of Campaign You'd Forgotten She Was In
LIVE: Supreme Court Hears Trump 14th Amendment Case. We Got Any Gamblers In The House?
Sure, But What If Nikki Haley IS Trying To Steal The Indiana Primary From Trump?
Trump Says If He Can’t Commit Crimes, Bush, Obama, And Biden Will Go To Jail. Is That True?
11 Things That Will Get You Banned For Life From A Cruise! Tabs, Thurs., Feb. 8, 2024
Fox News Embarrassing *Karl Rove* With Its President Michelle Obama Bullsh*ts
Tucker Carlson Doing Performance Review In Person This Year, Vladimir Hate Zoom
Nikki Haley Loses Nevada Primary To Literally Nobody
You Can't YOU'RE FIRED Ronna McDaniel, She Quits!
These Morons Can’t Even Get One Single Alejandro Mayorkas Impeached
Florida GOP Wants Kids To Learn About 'Cultural Marxism' So They Can't Be Baked Into Matzos
Trump Will Be SO MAD When He Finds Out Allen Weisselberg Lied In Court For Him
Jennifer Crumbley Guilty Of Manslaughter By Way Of Egregious Child Neglect
Is Your Dog Secretly A Comedian? Tabs, Wed., Feb. 7, 2024
Today In Wonkette, Republicans Just Trying To Kill Themselves, More, Again
Florida Republican's Cringe 'Right To Rock' Act Clears Its First Senate Panel
Appeals Court Says Trump Can Be Prosecuted For Trying To Overthrow America, Like Common Human
GOP Candidate For George Santos’s Seat Caught Padding Resume, Is Actually Democrat
LIVE: White House Press Briefing Dunking On Republicans For Being National Joke, Hopefully
The Wall Street Journal Wants Us To Be Grateful For Our High American Drug Prices
LIVE: What If Marjorie Taylor Greene Impeached A Guy And It Didn't Matter Because F*ck Her Is Why?
Supreme Court To Decide Whether Government Can Ask Social Media To Please Not Spread Health Lies
If Republicans Want To Drive Without Seatbelts, Let's Just Let Them
Kristi Noem Banned From Native American Land, For Sucking
Five People Who Never Won Grammys! (Some Of Them Never Even Made Records) Tabs, Feb. 6, 2024
Oh No, James Lankford, Did You Think You Were Here To GOVERN?
Here's Greg Gutfeld Saying Rhymes For Two Solid Minutes, For Comedy
Polls Still Saying Trump's Up A Creek If He's Convicted Of Crimes
James Lankford Stunned GOP Doesn't Actually Want Immigration Fixed HA HA HA Oh Mercy
How Did We Worship Our Lord Satan At The Grammys This year?
Trump Gives RNC Chair Unwanted Kiss Of Death, Probably Won't Get Sued For This One
Dean Phillips Comes THIS Close To Winning Participation Trophy In South Carolina Primary
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Fourteen
8 Sunny Places To Escape To This Month! Tabs, Mon., Feb. 5, 2024
The Hells Angels Are Pivoting To Fatwas
Those Cakes We Like … Are Cheesy Romantics At Heart
Wonkette Movie Night: Summer Of Soul
Nice Time! Seattle LGBTQ+ Community Takes On Bureaucrats, Wins One For Common Sense And Dignity
House Actually Votes To Expand Child Tax Credit, That Can't Be Right!
What? It's Groundhog Day AGAIN?
Today in Wonkette! Welcome to the weekend! :D
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The French Blonde!
So Many People In Connecticut Are Gonna Get Their Medical Debt Canceled
January Jobs Report: US Economy Adding Jobs Like A MOTHER, Again!
Why Isn't This Racist, Sexist, Gun-Humping, Drunk-Driving Indiana Republican In Congress Already?
Chicago To Get Actual Public Restrooms Soon, Will Be Fancy Like Paris
Infowars Guy Can't Believe You All Don't Know The Salem Witches Were Guilty As Hell
Trump Pissed Off As British Court Flushes Pee Tape Lawsuit
Some MAGA Beta Try-Hard Gonna ‘Punish That Bitch’ Taylor Swift If She Endorses Biden
How a Medieval Murder Map Helped Solve a 700-Year-Old London Cold Case! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 2, 2024
Wonkette News of Today: Fox didn't like SVU last week, time to call the cops.
Joe Biden Up Six Points (22 With Women), And That's Before The Pentagon Even Activates Taylor Swift!
Sephora Made $10 Billion Last Year And All Workers Got Was This Stale Cookie
UPS Laying Off 12,000 People Because $9.9 Billion In Profits Just Isn't Enough
Fox News Didn’t Like ‘SVU’ Last Week, Time To Call The Cops
Is Prison Labor Tainting Your Breakfast Cereal?
Is There A NICE TIME Happening In Northern Ireland?
NOPE. Tabs, Thurs., Feb. 1, 2024
Wonkette Today: Goodbye to our dear SER, Man Going His Own Way!
House Republicans Gonna IMPEACH! Alejandro Mayorkas, For Crimes Of ??? And TBD
Kyrsten Sinema Riding On A Private Jet Plane And You Paid For It!
AZ GOP Fake Elector Anthony Kern Wants The People To Decide That Their Votes Don't Matter
Judge Tosses Elon Musk's $55 BILLION Pay Package Because WTF $55 BILLION
House Republicans Can't Even Agree On How To Screw The Poor
LIVE: Let's Hear From Taylor Swift's Handlers AKA The White House Press Briefing
There Is No Overstating How Frightened White Loser MAGA Republicans Are Of Taylor Swift
Nikki Haley Pretty Sure Dead Biden Will Beat Live Trump So Vote For Her Please
Oh Fiddlesticks, Did Trump Find Out Alina Habba Was Only Faking Smart?
Florida DMV Threatens Trans People With Jail For Crime Of 'Getting License To Drive'
So Long, Farewell, Goodbye, Thanks For All The Fish, Etc …
HELLO CLARICE. Tabs, Wed., Jan. 31, 2024
Joe Manchin Thinks He Can Be President Because His Thinking Is In The Shop
Have We Finally Seen The Last Of Lauren Boebert Or Is This Just Premature 'Hooray'?
Alina Habba Faking Smart Again
LIVE: Let’s Impeach Homeland Security Sec. Alejandro Mayorkas, Sure Beats Governing!
White Supremacists Chase DEI Coordinator Out Of Maine
Fox News Idiots In Pantloading Panic Over Taylor Swift Going To Super Bowl, It Is Hilarious
The Best Food Processors, According To Dull People. Tabs, Tues., Jan. 30, 2024
Wonkette Today: Republican Border Shenanigans, Trader Joe’s Disappoints
Super Bowl RIGGED And STOLLEN By Taylor Swift, And Vivek Ramaswamy Knows Why
LIVE: Vice President Kamala Harris! Sophia Bush! Reproductive Freedoms Tour!
How Does This Brittany Watts Story Keep Getting Worse?
Come Get Your White House Press Briefing!
Trader Joe's Joins SpaceX In Arguing That The NLRB Is Unconstitutional
How Hard Is Trump Getting Punched In The Wallet Right Now? Let's Tally It Up!
Republicans Can't Let Biden Fix The Border In An Election Year
Excuse Me, But Did Y'All Notice Just How Good Obamacare Is Under Joe Biden?
Trump Totally Wants To Win GOP Primary Fairly, No Funny Business, So You Can Take That To The Bank
Wonkette's THE SPLIT: Chapter Thirteen
Pasta Makes You Happier -- Science! Tabs, Mon., Jan. 29, 2024
Kristi Noem Fails Texas History But Wears Cool US Flag Hat For Extra Credit
The Time Wisconsin Invented Your Unemployment Check!
Wonkette Movie Night: Mad Max: Fury Road
Can I Uninvite My BFF's Man To My Wedding?
Has-Been Dilbert Guy Scott Adams Offers Gonadal Insights On Texas, Border, 'Mating'
Jordan Peterson Sad About Being Sent To 'Reeducation Camp' For Wayward Canadian Psychologists
Aren't You Glad You Don't Have A Track Meet This Morning?
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Dirty Martini!
Greg Abbott Doing Terrible Job Of Ending All The Rape In Texas
UAW Endorses Fellow Picket Line Walker Joe Biden
Texas Wants A Hot War With Joe Biden, And Republican Governors Want To Help!
Joe Biden Just Stopped A Huge Methane Gas Export Plant. It's A Big Not-Fracking Deal!
We Should've Figured The NSA Was Buying Our Data, But It Does Not Feel Great To Know For Sure
Matt Gaetz Sex Probe Keeps Coming Back Like Grundle Herpes
The Three Dirtiest Body Parts You're Forgetting To Wash In The Shower! Tabs, Fri., Jan. 26, 2024
Today in Wonkette: What Up Joe Biden, That Is A Good Economy!
Even The New York Times All Like What Up Joe Biden, That Is A Good Economy
Well Of Course Megan McArdle Is Out Here Caping For Bank Overdraft Fees
Peter Navarro, Go To Jail And Never Come Back For Four Months!
LIVE: Joe Biden Announces Another Infrasexy Infrastucture Week, At A Brewery!
Alabama Plans To Starve Man Before Suffocating Him To Death Today
Everybody Hates James Comer And Thinks He's A Moron. Even His Fellow Republicans.
IG Report: White House Pharmacy In Trump Years Was Two Steps Away From Being Bad Stoner Movie
US Postal Service Goes Electric, Still Not Quite Like Dylan
GOP Rep. Jeff Duncan Leaving Congress To Spend More Time With His 'Paramour' (Allegedly)
Flashback: November 3, 2020, The Day Joe Biden Outperformed Dean Phillips In His Own District
AZ GOP Chair Outwitted By Kari Lake, Immediately Resigns In Shame
Wonkette's Today in News: Nikki Haley Has Not Yet Begun To Lose!
Who Saw Lindsey Graham Hugging Fani Willis In The Hallway?
Texas Goes Full Fort Sumter On Supreme Court
Dean Phillips Needs Extra Time To Build His ‘Brand’ And Go On Fox News, Let's All Wait For Him
Elon Musk Visits Auschwitz, Solves Antisemitism Forever!
Bernie Sanders Wants To Tax Companies That Pay CEOs 50 Times More Than Workers
Democrats Blowing Gazillion Dollars On High-Stakes, Tension-Filled California Senate Race
LIVE: White House Press Briefing Snubbed For Best White House Press Briefing Oscar Nomination
Uh Oh, Kayleigh McEnany Gonna Have To Put Dollar Bill In Fox News 'Told The Truth' Jar
Texas School Bigots Gonna Keep Violating CROWN Act By Punishing Black Student With Dreadlocks
Donald Trump Doesn’t Feel Threatened By Nikki Haley, Because He Knows He’s A True Winner
Nikki Haley Has Not Yet Begun To Lose!
Dark Secrets Of '70s Sitcom Stars! Tabs, Wed., Jan. 24, 2024
Wonkette's Today in News: Let's not watch the New Hampshire primary results, together!
Hey Let's Not Watch The New Hampshire Primary Results, Together!
Usual Suspects Know Who Is To Blame For 'Boeing,' It Is All The Black People Who Don't Run Boeing
Texas Can't Find Jurors Who Aren't Unfairly Biased Towards People Who Feed The Poor
MAGA Idiots Pretty Sure Nikki Haley Not Brown Enough To Experience Racism, Is Faking It
Supreme Court To Hear Oklahoma AG's Plea To Not Have To Kill Richard Glossip
LIVE: All Your Pressing Questions Answered In Your Daily White House Presser!
Supreme Court Won't Let Texas Kill More Migrants With Razor Wire
Trump Orders MAGA House To Tank Biden's Border Deal, Because That's How You Fix A 'Crisis'
Trump Challenges Nikki Haley To Pick Out Which One Is ‘Camel,' Bet She Can't
36 Interesting Facts About Hotels That Aren’t Just Gross! Tabs, Tues., Jan. 23, 2024
Wonkette News Of Today: Let's Point And Laugh At Ron DeSantis!
Here's Where You Can Watch Your Action-Packed California Senate Debate!
Elise Stefanik Is The Celebrity Apprentice Of Being Bigger Fucking Liar Than Donald Trump
When The Spanish Enslaved The Native People In What's Now New Mexico
Today Should Be The 51st Anniversary Of Roe V. Wade
LIVE: Vice President Harris Speaks On 51st Anniversary Of Roe V. Wade, Which Donald Trump Killed
LIVE: A White House Press Briefing For Me And Also For Thee!
Yet Another Report Shows That The Inflation Is Made Out Of Corporate Profits
Have We Told Dean Phillips Lately To Get Fucked?
Republican Party Chooses '...Or Die' Before New Hampshire
13 Unusual Spots To Eat At In Paris! Tabs, Mon., Jan. 22, 2024
Is It Bad That I Don't Want to Socialize?
Tim Scott Quoted Fannie Lou Hamer At A Trump Rally And Now I Want To Punch My Fist Through A Wall
Wonkette Movie Night: My Favorite Year (1982)
Welcome To The Moms For Liberty Charter School Educating The Next Generation Of Patriots!
Steve Rogers Is Super Mad at Canada Right Now
Is A Mild Capacity For Basic Human Empathy Giving YOU A Headache? There's A Pill For That!
Wonkette news of today: Sorry to all the dead rich people who won't get buried on the moon!
Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Carajillo!
The Transition To Renewable Energy Is Speeding Up. Faster, Pussycat, Build! Build!
No One Needs To Lie About Fentanyl To Make It Seem More Bad, It's Already Bad
Bumbling Ron DeSantis Campaign Enters Terminal 'Finger-Pointing' Blame-Gaming Stage
New York Times Notices That Overturning Roe Didn't Stop People From Needing Abortions
No Labels Saw A RICO In The Woodshed, Demands DOJ Make People Start Liking No Labels
Spending Groundhog Sees Shadow, So Six More Weeks Of Government Being Open!
Justice Department Uvalde Report Every Bit As Grim As You'd Expect.
Sorry To All The Dead Rich People Who Won't Get Buried On The Moon!
This Type Of Food Poisoning Will Make You Wish You Were Dead! Tabs, Fri., Jan. 19, 2024
Ohio Pastor Arrested For Not Letting Unhoused People Freeze To Death
Trump Demands Forever Immunity, Even When He 'Crosses The Line' And Does Heinous Crimes
Texas Really Really Really Wants Civil War, Pleaaaaase
House Republicans Held An Immigration Hearing. That Was Their First Mistake.
Idaho Republicans Take Third Shot At 'Sue Libraries Out Of Business' Bill
Oklahoma Republican Gonna Get Those Litter-Box-Using Furry Kids Out Of Schools, Using Animal Control
‘Border, Border, Border!’ Mike Johnson Can Say The Word ‘Border.’ He's Very Good Speaker.
The Sneaky Reason Pasta Is Always Better At Restaurants! Tabs, Thurs., Jan. 18, 2024
Wonkette news of today: Is Florida *un-Florida-ing* itself? Anything could happen!
SAD! 'sToP thE BRaInWaSHiNg' Lady Does Not Win Special Election, Will Florida Ever Be The Same?
All Future Republican Debates Canceled Because Trump Won't Show Up And Nikki Haley's Delusional
Trump Just Furious You Weren't Forced To Watch His North Korean Victory Speech
Climate Nice Time: New York To Replace Gas Pipelines With Clean Heat For Buildings
Kyrsten Sinema No Longer Good For That One Thing You Said She Was Good For
Indiana Republican Wants Kids To Drop Out After 8th Grade To Work On Farms
Everyone Thinks Ron DeSantis Is A Loser Who Should Quit Like Losers Do After Losing
Will Mike Johnson Still Be Speaker By The End Of This Post? Let's Find Out!
Alina Habba Debuts Genius Strategy In New Trump Defamation Trial, Just Kidding She's Still A Dipshit
Brutal Things Horror Movies Did For Genuine Reactions! Tabs, Wed., Jan. 17, 2024
The time Joe Biden told Bill Ackman to shut his mouth. And other Wonkette news today Nice Times!
Ben Shapiro Knows How To Keep Trump From Stealing Elections, We Should ELECT HIM LEGITIMATE!
Is It A Trap? Congress Announces Bipartisan Plan To Expand Child Tax Credit
Trump Celebrates Iowa Caucus By Defaming E. Jean Carroll Some More (The Latest Trial Started Today)
‘Little Lightweight Choker’ Marco Rubio Endorses Con Artist Who Gave Him Those Nicknames
Dean Phillips Building Elite Strike Force Cabinet Of Elon Musk And Some Other Jizz Socks You Hate
Michigan Just Did A Universal Basic Income For New Moms In Flint
Joe Biden Like Some Sort Of Non-Giving-Up Student Debt-Forgiving, Uh, Guy
Roger Stone Denies Plotting To Kill Congressmen. Oh, THAT Tape?
Insurrectionist Charged With 91 Felony Counts, Currently Out On Bail, Wins Iowa GOP Caucus
What It’s Like To Eat A 50-Course, 6-Hour Tasting Menu! Tabs, Tues., Jan. 16, 2024
Did Nikki Haley Unleash Blizzard On Iowa So She Could Come In Distant Second At GOP Caucus?
Tucker Carlson Planning To Invade Canada
Atlantic Writer Just Doesn't Know Why We All Can't Trust Each Other
Happy Gwen Verdon's Birthday To All Who Celebrate!
Wonkette's today in news! Let it snow let it snow let it snow!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Spaghett!
I'm A Lawyer Who Is Timid IRL!
Jesus Christ, Just Leave Trans People Alone!
New Hampshire Republicans Hope To Ban Abortion Before Conception
Massachusetts Will Now Wait Until Legal Drinking Age To Sentence People To Life In Prison
Aussie Julia Stiles Now Queen Of The Danes!
Dickish Florida School Dicks Interdict Dictionaries For Being Too Dang Sexy
Colorado GOP Rep. Doug Lamborn Quitting Congress To Spend More Time Hunting Big Bird
Let Us All Congratulate Ohio On Not Throwing A Woman In Prison For Miscarrying
Trump Didn’t Improvise Manhattan Courtroom Bitch Tantrum. That Was REHEARSED.
Tight Budget? Walmart Has A ... Wait Just A Fucking Minute, Upworthy. Tabs, Fri., Jan. 12, 2024
Wonkette news of the day: Let's go do some crimes!
We Figured Out Who Was Responsible For The Shoplifting Epidemic, It Is A Mom For Liberty
Aaron Rodgers Loses Safe Space For Sharing Feelings, Will Have To Start Journaling
Robert Garcia Drags The Trumps By Way Of 'Real Housewives Of Salt Lake City' Finale
Hunter Biden Came To Congress Yesterday, Humiliated Marjorie Taylor Greene For Sport, Left
Chris Christie Closes All Lanes To His 2024 Presidential Bid
It’s Wonkette’s House GOP GTFO Series With Special Guest Loser Indiana Rep. Larry Buschon!
Man Sues 27 Women After Facebook Users Call Him ‘Clingy’ and ‘Psycho’! Tabs, Thurs., Jan. 11, 2024
Wonkette's today in news! He's got Dunning-Kruger braiiin!
And Yea Though Aaron Rodgers Has Walked Through THE WINTER OF DEATH, He Will Fear No Jimmy Kimmel
Trump Helpfully Reminds GOP Voters That Nikki Haley's Not Completely White
In Hottest Year On Record, US Cut Carbon Emissions. Good Start!
How Sick, Dangerous And Stupid Can Donald Trump Be In One Week?
Bob Menendez Forces Senate To Watch While He Takes Trump-Style MAGA Martyr Trip
Florida Man Wants To Bankrupt People Who Experience Discrimination Or Report On It
Hey, Wait, So Mike Johnson's First Few Months As House Speaker Might've Been His Last Few Months?
Yeah, The Defense Secretary Kinda Needs To Tell The White House When He's In The ICU For Three Days
Tik-Tokers Are Using Diaper Cream As Moisturizer! But Does It Work? Tabs, Wed., Jan. 10, 2024
The Pallid Bat Is President Of California!
Florida GOP Ousts Chair For (ALLEGED) Rape. He Should Take A Moral Lesson From This Banned Book.
LIVE: What's Going On In The White House? We Dunno, Ask Them!
Supreme Court To Let Idaho Kill Pregnant People Until They Get Around To Dealing With It
If Boeing Can't Make Planes Where The Doors Stay On, It Probably Shouldn't Be In The Plane Business
RFK Jr. Didn’t Want To Go To RFK Jr.’s Birthday Anyway!
Taylor Swift Was Not Impressed By Jo Koy's Golden Globes Joke. Tabs, Tues., Jan. 9, 2024
It's Monday. Do You Know Where You Airplane Door Is?
PETITION: Tell Fox News Please Stop Making Grandpas Think It’s Real Neat To Summon Demons
Judge Hopes Sentencing Woman To Wash Cop Cars Will Teach Her Not To Question Police
Liz Cheney Helpfully Explains That Mike Johnson Is A Liar
The Return Of The Coup D'é Twits
UN Asks Alabama To Please Not Suffocate Man To Death With Nitrogen Gas
QAnon Shaman Idiot Would Like His Horny Furry Hat Back, Please. Hat Hat Hat Hat Hat. Hat.
US Hero Harry Dunn Way Too Good For Congress, But Let's Elect Him Anyway
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Ten
9 Types Of Glasses To Stock In Your Home Bar! Tabs, Mon., Jan. 8, 2024
Bigoted Comedy Isn't 'Edgy Truth-Telling.' It's Just Mean.
Those Cakes We Like ... Are Blowing Off Some Steam
Wonkette Movie Night: Diva (1981)
What To Expect When You're Expecting (To Flee To Canada)
Joe Biden Kicks Uganda Out Of Trade Deal Over 'Kill The Gays' Law
What If China Paid Trump While In Office But The Supreme Court Said The Question Was Moot?
Happy ... 'Take A Poet To Lunch Day' To All Who Celebrate
Joe Biden just called Trump a piece of shit, but *with his face*, Wonkette day of news starts now!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Cheshire Cat!
Hey New York Times, Is A Supreme Court Justice As Important As A (Black, Woman) Harvard President?
Joe Biden's Economy Added 216,000 Jobs In December, Not Too Shabby!
Trump Lawyer Alina Habba Thankful Her Hotness Distracting From Her Terrible Lawyering
Lunatic Florida Surgeon General (But We Repeat Ourselves) Says COVID Vaccine 'The Anti-Christ'
Florida Judges Are Back To Deny Teen An Abortion But This Reason's A Doozy
Easy Pineapple Chicken! Tabs, Fri., Jan. 5, 2024
Many News! Much Cats! Today in Wonkette!
Study: Hydroxychloroquine Maybe Killed About 17,000 People During The First Wave Of COVID
All Fun And Games Until Dan Crenshaw Says Jesse Watters Looks Like He Pees Sitting Down
Left And George Will Have Found The Real Fascist Dictator, Can You Guess It Is Joe Biden
What You Need (Or Don't Need!) To Know About The Epstein Documents.
Should Florida Re-Elect Crypt-Keeper Rick Scott, Or Elect This Nice Democrat Lady Who Isn't That?
Disgraced Ousted Moms 4 Liberty PA School Board 'Hosed Down' Superintendent Crony With $700,000 Cash
Last Sorry House Republican Crawls On Belly To Endorse Man Who Bragged He 'Killed Him'
Whoever's Coming To RFK Jr.'s Circle Jerk Birthday Party, It Ain't Dionne Warwick
OMG You Won't Believe These Hotel Fails! Tabs, Thurs., Jan. 4, 2024
Who almost forgot Wonkette's today in news? IT ME, but THEN I DIDN'T!
Once And Future Congresswoman CAUGHT Posting Pics Of Delicious Food She Didn't Cook. STOLEN SABOR!
A Very Basic Primer On ‘Houthi Who What Now?’ So You Don’t Look Dumb At The Next Potluck Orgy
LIVE: First White House Presser Of The Last Year Of Earth!
Seriously, Why Is Felony Indictment Collector, Alleged Foreign Agent Bob Menendez Still A Senator?
Hannity Moved To Florida And New York Will Never Get Him Back! So Stop Begging, New York!
Appeals Court Won't Let Feds Make Texas Save Women's Lives ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Ted Cruz Apparently Cursed, But About Important Things, Like Sporting Match-Ups
Trump Gonna Move Heavily On Madison Square Garden, Take New York And New Jersey Furniture Shopping
Joe Biden Wished Americans A Happy 2024 Like Some Unfeeling Monster!
Festive Winter Holiday Citrus Cocktail! Tabs, Wed., Jan. 3, 2024
Your Wonkette's day in news has been overtaken by CATS.
Being MAGA Means Pretending You’d Really Rather Spend New Year’s With Vanilla Ice Than Green Day
Lauren Boebert Pretty Sure Barbara Streisand To Blame For Her Low-Class Carpet Bagging
What Are Republicans Giving Trump For Three-Year Anniversary Of January 6? Undying Loyalty!
Chris Sununu Thinks Chris Christie Should Drop Out, Endorse Nikki Haley, Who Is Not Named Chris
Fox News Kicks Off Year By Reassuring Idiots Trump Can President From Jail
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Nine
A Peek Inside The Best Foodie Kitchens On Instagram! Tabs, Tues., Jan. 2, 2024
Your 2023 Legislative Badass Is ... Not A Legislator, It's Joe Biden!
Wonkette's 2023 Sexiest Person Alive Is ... The UAW's Shawn Fain!
2023 In Memoriam: Good People Who Are Dead
2023 Was Earth's Hottest Year Ever, AND The Climate Outlook Is Finally Improving