Sitemap - 2023 - Wonkette
2023: James Comer’s Year Of Looking For Hunter Biden’s Penis But Never Finding It
2023, The Year George Santos Truly Became President
2023, When Kevin McCarthy Was House Speaker For A Few Months
2023, The Year Congress Did Jack Shit
2023's Scammiest Psychic Swindlers
Wonkette Movie Night: The Poseidon Adventure (1972)
Guess Which Brutal Authoritarian Dictator The Right Has A Crush On Now?
The Time Coal Miners Decided They Didn't Want To Die Of Black Lung, Come To Think Of It!
It's your last Wonkette roundup of the year, and this one is GOOD.
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Old Cuban!
PA GOP 'School Activist' Charged With Punching Teen At Drunken Party She Threw For Own Daughter
Republican Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine: Hear Him Out, What If They DIDN'T Shit On Trans Kids?
Kansas Economy Growing Like Crazy Just To Piss Off Tax Cuts 'N' Austerity Freaks
Susan Collins Wants The Voters To Decide What They Already Decided
Conservative Women Surprised To Learn What Patriarchy Looks Like, Part 74,388,927
End-of-Year Advice for Filthy Leftists
Maine Secretary Of State Yanks Trump Right Off Primary Ballot, For Doing Bad Things!
Stop Putting Dead Babies In Our Drinking Water, You Weirdos!
How To Make Your Own Bloody Mary Bar! Tabs, Fri., Dec. 29, 2023
For Less Than A Cup Of Coffee A Day, GOP Governors Could Feed Kids In Their States. They Won't.
Actually The Democrats Fell For Nikki Haley's Cunning Plan, Says Nikki Haley
Lauren Boebert Ejacs ... Ejects Herself Into Different Congressional District
How About We Don't Put Kids To Work In Sawmills?
Asked About Cause of Civil War, Nikki Haley Leaves Out 'Slavery,' Goes Full Miss Teen South Carolina
Vivek Ramaswamy Stops Buying TV Ads, Because TV Is 'Idiotic,' For Dummies
Once You Do This With Your Ravioli, You'll Never Go Back! Tabs, Thurs., Dec. 28, 2023
What the fuck *is* wrong with the New York Times, anyway? Wonkette's today in news!
Kanye West To Stop Being Antisemite Just As Soon As He Releases This Antisemitic Song
Tom Smothers Dies At 86, Free To Spend Eternity Taunting Souls Of Kissinger, Nixon, And CBS Execs
Michigan Supreme Court Won't Remove Trump From Ballot Or Even Require Damage Deposit
LA School Helps Climate By Composting Kids! Or Something Like That
Republicans Horrified That Joe Biden Tried To Teach Fuck-Up Son Hunter About Responsibility
Say, New York Times, What The F*ck *IS* Wrong With You?
Ina Garten Weighs In On Family-Style Versus Buffet-Style Holiday Meals! Tabs, Wed., Dec. 27, 2023
It's beginning to look a ... scratch that. Wonkette's today in news!
Is Taylor Swift Ruining The Kansas City Chiefs? Wonkette Investigates!
Tesla Blamed 'Careless Owners' For Factory Defects, Because Hey, They Knew They Were Buying A Tesla
Let Eddie Murphy In 'Trading Places' Explain 'The Economy', You Are Welcome!
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Eight
Wisconsin SCOTUS Tosses GOP Gerrymander, Democracy Set To Break Out In Badger State
Joe Rogan Tries To Pin Trump Quote On Biden, Gets Corrected On Air, Is Meathead, Idiot?
Donald Trump Spends Christmas Working Self Into Aneurysm, We Hope
17 Awesome Ways To Display Cookbooks In Your Kitchen! Tabs, Tues., Dec. 26, 2023
Wonkette Movie Night Dec. 25th Special Event: Die Hard (1988)
Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart
Happy Christmas Eve, From All Of Us And Also A Donkey
Wonkette Movie Night: Gremlins (1984)
White House Will Renominate Julie Su As Labor Secretary Whether Republicans Like It Or Not
Have Yourself A Merry Little Festivus!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Espresso Martini!
Holiday Travel Tips Because Oh My God Airports
Peggy Noonan Has A Holiday Vision, And His Name Is Jesus!
Trump Tried To Strongarm Even More Officials Into Stealing Votes, In Michigan This Time
Literal Clowns Sue Figurative Clowns At Clowns Dot Com For Wage Theft
New York Times Kneels In Front Of Chris Rufo, Screams 'Thank You Sir, May I Have Another?'
13 Home Cures For That Solstice Day Hangover! Tabs, Friday, Dec. 22, 2023
Judge Kicks Rudy In The D*ck So Hard He Lands In Chapter 11
Florida Teachers, Parents, Kids Just Want Schools To Have Books. That's All.
Eric Adams Is A Terrible Mayor In All The Multiverses.
Terrifying Anthropomorphic Donut Man Casually Shares Desire To Murder The President
After Anonymous Call To Police, Cop Shows Up In Middle School Classroom To Arrest A Book
Elizabeth Warren Still Has Plans For Things, Like Preventing Prescription Drug Shortages
33 Merry Christmas Brunch Recipes! Tabs, Thurs., Dec. 21, 2023
Harris Faulkner Very Angry At Colorado Supreme Court, You Wouldn't Like Her When She's Angry
Kellyanne Conway Has Broken Modern Democrats' Secret Code, Oh No!
Trump Wasn't Copying Hitler, He Can't We Mean Didn't Even Read 'Mein Kampf'!
New York Times In Disarray, Can't Decide If Trump Support Fragile Or Strong Like Bull
Colorado SCOTUS Kicks Trump Off Primary Ballot For Insurrecting
Giving People Money Keeps People Out Of Homelessness. Like, Even Better Than Yelling At Them!
Sexual Penis Guy Ted Cruz Pretty Sure Libs Can’t Please Women Like Sexual Penis Guy Ted Cruz Can
Why Are People Mad About The Nutcracker? Tabs, Wed., Dec. 20, 2023
Come on-a my house my house I'm gonna give you bloody mary
Poll: Huge Majority Of Americans Want Climate Change Taught In School. We Should Do That!
Bret Baier APPALLED Trump Said Words That Harken Back To Writings That ... Well, YOU Know.
LIVE: Holly Jolly White House Press Briefing
Here’s Your One Chance, Clarence And Ginni Thomas, Don’t Let All These Billionaires Down
Texas Gov. Greg Abbott Signs 'Fuck The Constitution, Sue Me' Immigration Bill
LIVE: Biden Speaks At Sandra Day O'Connor's Memorial
A Detroit Wonkin' New Year's Day!
Look At This Republican Idiot Squirming To Avoid Saying Trump Shouldn’t Talk Like Literally Hitler
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Seven
The 76 Best Christmas Songs of All Time! Tabs, Tues., Dec. 19, 2023
Meghan McCain, Megyn Kelly And Some Other People Who Aren't Named Megyn/Meghan
Megyn Kelly Calls On Her Billions Of Fans To Boycott Taylor Swift For LMAOOOOO Fuck Off Megyn Kelly
In Which Congressional Hopeful QAnon Shaman Chases Matt Gaetz Around Charlie Kirk's AmericaFest
Senate Republicans Won't Stop Pissing In House Republican Idiots' Biden Impeachment Punchbowl
Ted Cruz Cries That The Left Wishes America Had Never Even Been Born
Political Media Still Trying To Make Nikki Haley Happen
Mean Boston Mayor Had One Holiday Party Without White People, Obviously More Racist Than Trump
Tucker Carlson Wrong About Too Many Things To Not At Least Consider A Flat Earth
Meghan McCain Gonna SUE Everyone At 'The View' Who Reminds Her She's Useless
Trump Unable To Come Up With Own Material, Keeps Ripping Off Hitler
Cringeworthy Christmas Movies That Have Aged Terribly! Tabs, Mon., Dec. 18, 2023
The Heart Wants What It Wants: THERAPY!
Roseanne Has Weird Breakdown About Imaginary Muslim Caliphate Taking Over The World
Wonkette Movie Night: The Night Before (2015)
QAnon 'Citizen Sleuths' Are Now Trying To Wayfair Etsy
Tim Ballard's Psychic Friend Says Dead Mormon Prophet Did Not Help Her Find Missing Children
Happy 'Stupid Toy Day!' To All Who Celebrate
Hey Rudy Giuliani Time To PAY THE FUCK UP and all your other Wonkette news of today!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Whiskey Shamash!
Ayanna Pressley Secures Literate Nerd Vote Forever With Bill Protecting Books
Rudy Giuliani About To Pay Election Workers He Slandered SOOOOOOOOO Much Money
Trump Staff Handed Out Binder Full Of Russia Secrets, Oh No, Where Is Binder???
Are MLMs Ruining Your Local Craft Fairs?
James Comer's Shady Shell Companies Different From Hunter Biden's Shady Shell Companies, Shut Up.
Labor Board May Force Starbucks To Reopen 23 Stores And Not Because They're Undercaffeinated
Texas Commies 'Moms For Democracy' Gonna Fuck Your Shit Up With 'Thoughts And Prayers' Ad
Wonkette Hereby Grants Markwayne Mullin Permission To Do This One (1) Shit-Beating
Beware The Christmas Cannibal Of France! Tabs, Fri., Dec. 15, 2023
Oh No Did We Miss The Great Rightwing Froot Loops Boycott Already?
Shoplifting Epidemic Drives Target To Desperate Measure Of Hiring Actual Human Beings
LIVE: Joe Biden RIGGING AND STOLLING Your Prescription Drug Prices And Making Them Lower!
Happy Xmas! President Kid Rock Announces War On Bud Light Is Over!
Oh Boy, The Supreme Court Is Gonna Weigh In On Abortion Again!
LIVE: Come They Told Me, Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum, A White House Press Briefing, Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum
Federal Reserve Plans Interest Rate Cuts, Wall Street Goes Freaking WILD
How The Grinch (Jack Smith) Stole Christmas (From Trump And His Idiot Lawyers)
Yes, Virginia Foxx Says, There Is A Santa Claus. And He Must Have Whole Milk. HE MUST FEED.
Some Dipshits Gonna Impeach Joe Biden For 'Multitude Of Numerous Items,' NO MORE QUESTIONS PLEASE!
Why Southerners Serve Pineapple Casserole At Christmas! Tabs, Thurs., Dec. 14, 2023
Well THAT Was Quite A Day! Here's All Your Wonkette, In One Place!
Trump Way More Fun When He's Just Grifting MAGA Rubes To Buy His NFT Trading Cards
Wyoming Governor Being Surprisingly Sane On Climate, Wingnuts Outraged
Hunter Biden Showed Up To Testify In Public Today, And BOY Are These Republican Losers Mad!
LIVE: White House Press Briefing, Let's Read MAGA Republicans For Absolute Filth!
James Comer Sick Of Being Outsmarted By Evil Genius Archnemesis [CHECKS NOTES] Steve Doocy
New York Democrats Finally Have All Clear To Unf**k Congressional Maps
Ron Johnson Has Beard Now, Is Still Moron
AI 'Volunteer' For Democratic House Candidate Seems Nice. You Have 10 Seconds To Comply.
17 cozy gifts for I AM NEVER GETTING OUT OF THIS BED, I AM STILL SICK, By Wonkette.
LIVE: Biden And Zelenskyy Sittin' In A Tree, FIGHTING FOR DEMOCRACY
Zelenskyy Is In DC Begging Republicans For Help. Can They Hear Him From Inside Putin’s Pants?
Nikki Snyder Might Keep Singing At Innocent People Until You Make Her Michigan's Senator
Are Honda, Hyundai, And Volkswagen Ready To Face The Wrath Of Shawn Fain And The UAW?
Mean Steve Doocy Keeps Pissing All Over James Comer’s Impeachment Fun
17 Cozy Gifts For People Who Love Staying In! Tabs, Tues., Dec. 12, 2023
Are We Done With This Year Yet?
Texas Woman Forced To Flee State To Get Medically Necessary Abortion
Don't Let Oprah's Deepfake Face Convince You To Buy Scammy Weight Loss Gummies.
Woke Supreme Court Won’t Even Let Washington State Do ‘Ex-Gay’ Torture To Kids
Texas Republicans Sue Lawyer For Failing To Prove Elections That Were Not Rigged Were Rigged
Friendship Tips From Ancient Rome
Congratulations To America On The Occasion Of Breaking Its Own Mass Shooting Record
Groveling Tom Suozzi Ready To Take Back House Seat He Abandoned To George Santos
Alex Jones Is Back On Twitter, But Can He Handle The Competition?
Casey DeSantis Just Looking For A Few Good Moms To Commit Voter Fraud In Iowa
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Six
Rosalynn Carter's Strawberry Cake! Tabs, Mon., Dec. 11, 2023
John Kennedy Catches 'Home Alone' On Cable, Shocked By Passage Of Time
If You've Gone A Full Minute Without Seeing Nancy Mace On Your TV, She's Gonna Fix That For You
Wonkette Movie Night: The Thin Man (1934)
Nice Judge Bans Family Separation At The Border For The Next Eight Years
Texas Court Gives Ken Paxton Another Shot To Force Woman To Give Birth To Dead Baby
How To Convince Americans That Biden's Economy Is Really Pretty Good
Now is the time for ... blah blah blah Wonkette
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Starfish And Coffee!
Dem Bill Would Evict Poor Hedge Funds From Single Family Homes
Hunter Biden Indicted For Tax Stuff, And Boy Are Republicans Mad
JD Vance Would Like To Put Writer In Prison For Crime Of 'Mean To Trump.' That's Cool Right?
Please Make Me Like The Holidays
MAGA Idiots Confused How Taylor Swift Is Person Of The Year, Like Did She Even Say The 'N'-Word?
Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz Diagnoses The Problem: Republicans Are WEIRD
34 Pink Christmas Decor Ideas for a Nontraditional Twist! Tabs, Fri., Dec. 8, 2023
Oh look who decided to send an afternoon news roundup like some kind of Wonkette!
Super Generous Texas Judge Allows Abortion For Woman Whose Fetus Is Unviable, Praise Greg Abbott!
Senate Republicans Block Bill To Ban Assault Weapons As US Sets Record For Mass Shootings
Mike Johnson Knows Who Is Just Like Moses, It Is Himself
LIVE: Have Yourself A Merry Little White House Press Briefing!
Steve Bannon Knows Who’s A Lot Like Taylor Swift, It’s The MyPillow Guy
Didn't Watch The Final GOP Primary Debate? We Have The Highlights!
Ron DeSantis Must Be Super Glad Florida Professors Saying Hell No To Teaching In Gilead
88(5) Songs By [Number] Of Women! Tabs, Thurs., Dec. 7, 2023
Four Losers Walk Into A Bar For No Reason At All. Your GOP Debate Unwatch Party!
Liz Cheney, Rachel Maddow Agree: Donald Trump Greater Threat To America Than Liz's Dad
Kevin McCarthy Quitty Quitty Chicken Dinny, Because Eric Swalwell Was Right About Him
Joe Biden Taking Another Whack At Student Debt Relief
Trump Ready On Day One To Be Dictator, But Not Day Two, So It's OK
Will Voters Stop Griping About Economy If Democrats Promise To Stop Saying 'Bidenomics'?
‘We Got All We Could Get,’ Says Tommy Tuberville, Who Got Nothing
New Hampshire Republicans Want To Ban Abortion From Moment Barry White Album Begins
George Santos Already Rolling In The Cameo Dough. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
Texas AG Ken Paxton Sues COVID Vaccine For Not Stopping Pandemic, Especially If You Didn't Take It
That Time Alabama Had Child Labor Laws, Then Repealed Them!
Fox News Was Honest About Election For Literally One Second And Steve Bannon Is So Mad
CNN Suggests Nikki Haley Might Win This Thing, Just Like Gary Hart In 1984!
Tucker's Top Creep Sued For Sexually Assaulting Fox News Staffer, Can You Believe It?
Charlie From Willie Wonka And The Chocolate Factory Is All Grown Up! Tabs, Tues., Dec. 5, 2023
Trump Did Not STOP EATING Because SAD, He ATE EVERYTHING Because MAD
Half Of Americans Now Aware That The Death Penalty Is Unfairly Applied
Biden To Mike Johnson And His MAGA Creeps: Ukraine Money. Give It, Weirdos.
LIVE: White House Press Briefing, Or A SURPRISE? Click Post To Find Out!
Waffle House Employees Want Fair Wages, Less Risk To Their Very Lives
Tulsi Gabbard And Laura Ingraham Worried The Left Gonna Get Poor Hitler Fascist Trump Killed
Rich White Guy Chris Cuomo Pretty Sure He’ll Be Fine During Second Trump Administration
Texas Republicans Free To Hang With Nazis All They Like
Joe Biden Roasts Lauren Boebert Over An Open Fire
'Kill Bill' Director George Santos Begins His Roaring Rampage Of Revenge
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Five
WonkTV: What The Hell Julianna Margulies?
Those Cakes We Like… Have Been STOLLEN By The DEEP STATE
Wonkette Movie Night: Monty Python And The Holy Grail
Kirk Cameron Is Coming For Your Children's Book Fairs
Hey, Let's Round Out The Week With Some Good Economy And Climate News!
Mike Johnson Endorses Book Full Of Bullshit. No, Not The Bible.
Happy ... 'Business Of Popping Corn' Day To All Who Celebrate
Farewell, George Santos, Inventor Of The Post-It Note
Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Smoking Bishop!
Weird Stuff The NY Times Wants You To Buy
Sandra Day O'Connor, Who Was Not As Bad As Other Conservative Justices, Dead At 93
House Votes To Expel Last Living Civil War Vet George Santos
Fox News Ladies So Sad For All The Door-Opening Male Trump Voters No One Will Marry
Highlights Of The Newsom-DeSantis Debate We Didn't Watch Either
Joe Biden Can Confirm The Dates Of Henry Kissinger's Employment
Woman Is Furious And Offended Coworker Won’t Give Free Manicure. Tabs, Fri., Dec. 1, 2023
Wonkette Speaks Ill Of Recently Dead Henry Kissinger
Disappearance Of Armed Apocalyptic Militia Kook Ammon Bundy Probably Nothing To Worry About, We Hope
Elizabeth Warren Has Declared War On 'Big Sandwich' And The National Review Will Not Stand For It
LIVE: Come On, White House. Let's Hear Those Kissinger Puns!
Henry Kissinger Leaves World In Need Of New Rhetorical Question When Someone Decent Dies Young
Non-War Criminal Shane MacGowan Dies At 65
LIVE: Matt Taibbi Gonna Humiliate Himself In Congress Again, It Was Fun The First Time
House Republicans Struggle With Whether To Expel Henry Kissinger’s Twin Brother George Santos
The Five People Henry Kissinger Meets In Hell. Tabs, Thurs., Nov. 30, 2023
How Kevin McCarthy Consoled Mopey Traitor Trump
Is Mike Johnson An Even Cheaper Trump-Sniffer Than Kevin McCarthy? A Science Investigation.
LIVE: Biden Does Bidenomics To Lauren Boebert’s District
OK, Fine, Chris Sununu, Just Marry Trump Already!
Liz Cheney's New Book Sounds Like A Banger
The Energy Future Is Here, And It's Hot Rocks Plus Water. Some Assembly Required.
Senate Republicans Would Prefer Trump Shut Up Already About Denying Millions Health Care
Nikki Haley, Ron DeSantis — One Will Lose, The Other Will Lose Even More!
A Dog Bit Jesse Watters On The Peener And The Dog Was A Democrat Because Its Mom Had An Outback
A Snake Walks Into A Bar And The Bartender Says, 'How Did You Do That?' Tabs, Wed., Nov. 29, 2023
No Satanic Trees Were Harmed In This Newsletter
Please Sign Petition To Tell Taylor Swift To Stop Accidentally Opening Hellmouth
Tyrant Joe Biden Reforms Welfare, Won't Let States Steal From Poor To Build Volleyball Palaces
Oh Fiddlesticks. The Satanic Christmas Tree Has Come To Attack The Christians.
LIVE: Rosalynn Carter's Memorial Service
Mike Pence Testimony To Jack Smith Is The Stupidest Damned Hallmark Christmas Movie Ever
Portland Public School Strike Ends! Students Now Set To Enjoy Fun-Filled, Half-Hour Winter Break
Kandiss Taylor Once Again Being Relentlessly Pursued By Globes
How Dumb Is Kevin McCarthy On A Scale Of One To Manifest Destiny?
Why Does Tommy Tuberville Hate The Troops So Much?
Stop Resisting These Five Inevitable Christmas Songs. Tabs, Tues., Nov. 28, 2023
Yes, We’re Coming For Your Gas Stoves And Pie!
Israeli News Folks Sound Super-Impressed With Elon Musk-Netanyahu Visit
Trump Thinks He's Gonna Rebrand As Abortion 'Moderate' After Killing Roe
CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: Joe Biden Talking Supply Chains Or Jill Biden’s Holiday Reveal?
Texas Cops Can't Stop Killing People With Their Cars While Chasing Immigrants
Trump Says He Calls Biden ‘Obama’ Because Hey Did You Hear How Good He Did On His Dementia Test?
LIVE: White House War On Christmas Thanksgiving Hangover Press Briefing!
Fox News Idiots Pretty Sure Dems Taking Your Gas Stoves Because They Hate Happiness And Pie
In Case You’re Still Not Paying Attention, Donald Trump Wants To Take Away Your Health Care
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Four
Doctors Warn Against Eating Your Christmas Tree. Tabs, Mon., Nov. 27, 2023
WonkTV: Let's Cozy Up With Broadway Barbara!
Some Insufficient Words About Stephen Sondheim: A Reprise
Wonkette Movie Night: Addams Family Values (1993)
Places Almost As Great As Wonkette
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Thanksgiving Cocktail, The Flying Turkey!
Your Artisanal Small Batch Hand-Crafted Wonker-Made Or Sold Etsy Stores!
It's Wonkette Happy Hour (Again), With This Morning's Cocktail, Irish Coffee!
Eat This Leftover Stuffing Strata For Every Meal For The Rest Of Your Life Or Until It Is Gone
Uniting Around Any Piece Of Peace, No Matter How Small
Now He's Singing About The Continental Breakfast!
It's A Bonus Wonkette Happy Hour, With A Thanksgiving Chocolate Martini!
This Real Recipe From Rush Limbaugh Has Jello, Stuffed Olives, And Miracle Whip In It
The Jell-O Recipe That Mamie Eisenhower Used To Win The Cold War
Betty Ford's Chocolate Cake Thing Involves A Lot Of Sleeping And Hanging Out In The Freezer
Y'all Are Eatin' Collard Greens Up In Here; Or, Vegetables Are Better With Bacon
Put Thanksgiving In Your Mouth With Grown-Up Baked Mac And Cheese, For Grown-Ups
Pssst: Grandma Wonkette's Cranberry Pineapple Ginger Sauce Is Better Actually
Put Some Food On Your Family With Aunt Wonkette's Real Cranberry Business
Making Thanksgiving 'Monkey Bread' With Nancy Reagan
There's A Girl On The Roof And She Thinks She's A Cat! (But She's Not.) Tabs, Wed., Nov. 22, 2023
Joe Biden Did Not Make Your Turkey $90. Don't Listen To Stupid People.
New York Times Calls A Fascist A Fascist. Sort Of.
Hot Girl Strike Fall: The Time 20,000 Women Created A Generation Of Labor Activists
Texas Rejects Science Books With Too Much Science In Them
Hate The $90 Turkeys At The Joe Biden $90 Turkey Store
Oh No, We Forgot A Salad! Tabs, Tues., Nov. 21, 2023
Joe Biden Pardons A Turkey ... Don't Worry, It's Not Donald Trump!
Trump Says '2024 Is Our Final Battle,' Wonder What He Means This Time!
Maria Brainworms Strikes Again
LIVE: Tough Questions From Press On Is Joe Biden Too Old To Pardon Turkeys?
Vivek Ramaswamy Is Scum. You Should Still Say His Name Correctly.
Ron DeSantis's Waterloo Sequel Is As Bad As The Original
Trump Not Into Golden Showers, So Happy Thanksgiving Week About That!
We'll Cry For You Argentina, Your New President Is A Chainsaw-Wielding Pet Psychic
LIVE: Biden Pardons Turkey, Does Not Pardon Donald Trump
'This Is My Face! Get Used To That Face!' Says Serious POTUS Candidate Nikki Haley
Remembering Rosalynn Carter, 1927-2023
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Three
How To Save Money On Groceries. Tabs, Mon., Nov. 20, 2023
WonkTV: Good Riddance To Bad Joe Manchin!
'Doctor Who' Betrays Fans Who Prefer Their Evil Fascist Mad Scientists In Wheelchairs
Wonkette Movie Night: Being There
She Seeks Sensual Salad Secrets!
Elon Musk Is Having A Real 'Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly' Kind Of Morning
Get Ready To Be Thankful For This Terrible, Terrible Thanksgiving Song I Just Remembered Exists
Gay Nutcrackers! Disabled Black Santas! And Other Holiday Monstrosities, According to Fox
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Japanese Highball!
Moms For Liberty Weaponize White Woman Tears Against ... Beloved Childhood Icon LeVar Burton
Murfreesboro, Tennessee, Legalizes Gay, Even For Recreational Use
Gay Nutcrackers! Disabled Black Santas! And Other Holiday Monstrosities, According to Fox
Karl Rove Pretty Sure Republicans' Abortion Strategy Actually Going Swimmingly
Jesse Watters Making Steady Progress Toward 'Way Worse Than Tucker' Goal
Teamsters Guy Not Sure Whether Markwayne Mullin Wants To Date Him, Fight Him, Bite Him, Or Shoot Him
Is Your Neck Making You Look Old? Tabs, Fri., Nov. 17, 2023
Which Local Animals Are Plotting To Ruin You? And other Wonkette news from today!
The National Climate Assessment Has Art, Too. It's Pretty Cool!
Robbing Peter To Pay Paul From OnlyFans: The George Santos House Ethics Committee Report
Which Local Animals Are Plotting To Ruin You?
Elon Musk Does Not, Under Any Circumstances, 'Gotta Hand It To' Hitler. Does Anyway.
National Climate Study: We're Up Shit Creek, But We Have A Paddle. So Paddle, Damn It! PADDLE!
Helpful Wingnut Rep. Chip Roy (R-Texas) Now Writing Democrats' Campaign Ads For Them
This Woman's Awful Job Interview Is Maybe The Worst I've Ever Heard! Tabs, Thurs., Nov. 16, 2023
It's Possible Marjorie Taylor Greene Is More Ignorant Dumbass Than We Knew
US And China — Yes, THAT China — Agree To Expand Renewable Energy, Ditch Fossil Fuels
LIVE: Biden Meeting Chinese President Just Out In The Open, OMG
Markwayne Mullin Has Histrionic Pissyfits In Senate Hearings Because Them’s Oklahoma Values
Democrats Yet Again Save America From Government Shutdown, Maybe Should Be Running The House?
Who Wants To Hear James Comer High-Pitched Squeal For Two Solid Minutes?
What Do I Buy My Stepmother Who I Kind of Hate? Tabs, Wed., Nov. 15, 2023
Markwayne Mullin tried to fight a Teamster, plus all your other Wonkette news of today!
Friends Don't Let Friends Become Kevin McCarthy
Oh My Stars, Republican Congress Men Are Popping Witnesses And Each Other On Their Bottoms!
Joe Manchin: A Lie, A Verb, And Abortion
October Inflation Flat, That's Good News, Right? RIGHT?
Should Republicans Keep Doing What They're Doing On Abortion, Or Should They Be MORE Extremist?
Tim Scott Wasn't Surfing On A Wave Of Positivity. He Was Just Another MAGA Jerk.
LIVE: Tyrant Joe Biden Controlling Climate Now!
Pop Quiz: Should The US Prison System Do MORE Solitary Confinement, Or NOT THAT?
Is It BAD Jenna Ellis Told Investigators Trump Planned To Stay In Power Forever?
Lion Prowls Streets Of Italian Town After Escaping Circus. Tabs, Tues., Nov. 14, 2023
Let Us Mourn (A Different) Trump!
Maryanne Trump Barry, Trump’s Older Sister Who Said She Did His Homework, Dies At 86
One Million Moms To Boycott Macy's Parade Over LGBTQ+ People In Broadway Shows
Are We Grasping What Donald Trump Really Wants To Do To America? Is It Clear Yet?
LIVE: I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For … White House Press Briefing? Sure Whatever.
Trump Attacks Special Counsel's Wife As His Lawyers Argue No Gag Order Is Needed To Restrain Him
Duterte Drug War Critic Released On Bail After Six Years In Jail For Imaginary Crimes
Tim Scott Quitting Campaign To Spend More Time With Jesus And One True Girlfriend
Dior Has The $230 Baby Perfume Your Stinky Child Has Been Waiting For
Our 2023 Election Victory Lap Continues With Gloating-Filled Stop In Pennsylvania!
Trump Takes Speech In Direction Of Calling Us All 'Vermin'
40 Sophisticated Walk-in Shower Ideas That Are Dripping with Style! Tabs, Mon., Nov. 13, 2023
WonkTV: Yep, We're Still Talking About Abortion! (And Women's Media, And Eric Adams, And ...)
Wonkette Movie Night: Enchanted April
Fine Here Is Your Bloody Kurt Vonnegut, On An Armistice Day When There's No Armistice In Sight
Ron DeSantis Quite Blasé About Prospect Of Straight Up Killing 400,000 People
Of Course The QAnon Shaman Is Running For Office. Why Wouldn't He Be?
Help Me Write More, Better, Faster!
So ... National Sundae Day Is On A Saturday?
All the Rich NYC Things We Can't Do plus the rest of your Wonkette Friday of news!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Cosmonaut!
Nope, We're Not Done Talking About Abortion Yet This Week!
Hollywood Still Ignoring Hispanics, Latinos? That Can't Be Right!
All the Rich NYC Things We Can't Do
Joe Manchin Won't Seek Reelection, Will Instead Travel Country Solving Crimes
Mike Huckabee So Mad Devil Grannies Always Tricking Women Into Having Abortions
Why Would We Send Paul Pelosi's Hammer Attacker To Regular Prison?
God Opens Jill Stein Window, Gets Ready To Push Her Out Again
JINGLE SMELLS. Tabs, Fri., Nov. 10, 2023
This is entirely too many stories for a Wonkette end of day roundup!
Fox News's Stupid New Bullshit: What If Joe Biden Turns Off Your Pickup On Election Day?
Nikki Haley's 'Honest' Abortion Answer Is A Full-On Monet
What If They Had A Republican Debate And Nobody Cared?
LIVE: How Can Joe Biden Celebrate Historic UAW Agreement While New York Times Is Still Mad At Him?
Big Data Is Selling Texts You Send From Your Car, Court Decides It's Perfectly Fine
Wall Street Journal So Sad: Nobody Wants To Not Work Anymore!
Keep Telling People What To Think About Abortion, Greg Gutfeld. You Guys Are NAILING IT.
Living Hollywood Actors To Get Back To Work, Will Not Be Replaced By Dead Hollywood Actors (For Now)
New Jersey Democrats: FUGGEDABOUTIT.
ALL SWIFTIES WANT IS SWIFT ABORTION!
10 Luxury Train Rides In The USA That Are Worth Splurging On! Tabs, Thurs., Nov. 9, 2023
ARE YOU OK NEW YORK TIMES? DO YOU NEED A POLICEMAN OR A BRAIN DOCTOR?
Here’s Your Not-Watching-The-Republican-Debate Thread, For Haters And Losers
ARE YOU OKAY NEW YORK TIMES? DO YOU NEED A POLICEMAN OR A BRAIN DOCTOR?
Everybody Hates Marjorie Taylor Greene, And Nobody Loves Her Anymore, Not Even Jesus
LIVE: Will White House Apologize To Press For Dems Winning So Hard Last Night?
Voters Tell 'Moms For Liberty' To Eat Shit
Joe Biden Refuses To Resign After Democrats’ Humiliating Night Of Wins
Four More Years For KY Gov Andy Beshear, An Eternity Of Pointing And Laughing At Daniel Cameron
Ohioans Now Free To Get High Before Their Legal, Safe Abortion Care
Virginia Democrats Leave Glenn Youngkin With Just A 'One-Fecta'
Here Is Your Morning Happy Video Of Rick Santorum Saying Abortion Is A VERY SEXY THING
Is It Disrespectful To Put Up Holiday Decorations Before Veterans Day? Tabs, Wed., Nov. 8, 2023
Here Is Your Place For Jibbering And Jabbering About Tonight's Election Results!
Supreme Court Just Might Not Let Domestic Violencers Keep Guns. Or It Might ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
LIVE: White House Press Briefing, Write Down Everything You Hear!
Is KY Gov Andy Beshear Our Next Democratic POTUS? Can We Just Let Him Beat Daniel Cameron First?
Moms For Liberty Trying To Get School Librarians Arrested For Letting Teens Check Out 'Porn'
Trump Plotting To Teach America A Lesson It Never Forgets In 2025
That Time The US Army Gave Freed Slaves Some Confederate Plantations For About Five Minutes
Moonies Offer To Pay Japanese Ex-Followers Almost Half Of What They Scammed Them Out Of
4 Tips For Creating A Memorable Thanksgiving Tablescape! Tabs, Tues., Nov. 7, 2023
Trump On Trial! It's A Madhouse!
SCOTUS To Hear Out Wife Beaters Who Want Their Guns Back This Week
Trump's New York Testimony Going About How You'd Expect
You Call This Republican 'Leadership'?
Zelenskyy Can Demonstrate What A Moron Trump Is In 24 Minutes Or Less
WonkTV: Traveling The World As A Biracial Family With Author Alana Best
Wow, Were White Guys Ever Wrong About Eric Adams!
Florida GOP Rep Totally Onto All Those Actors Moonlighting As Dead Palestinians
No, Seriously, That New York Times Poll Is Good News For Joe Biden
It Does Matter When You Check In For Your Flight! Here's Why! Tabs, Mon., Nov. 6, 2023
WonkTV: It’s Very Good To See Us, Isn’t It?
Those Cakes We Like … Are Heading Down The Mine
Wonkette Movie Night: Everything Everywhere All At Once
JFK Jr. Is Dead But George Magazine Is Alive And Run By Nuts His Cousin RFK Jr. Hangs Out With
Alabama GOP Mayor Kills Self After Right Wing Site Outs Him As A Crossdresser
Help! My Daughter is Being Sexy on Main!
Who Among Us Does Not Fancy Some Cats?
Shawn Fain, Impeach the CEO Pay Job Growth Dracula! And other Wonkette Friday headline Mad Libs!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Regrettable Tattoo!
Oh Please, Please Let Shawn Fain Take Down Elon Musk
AR Dem Marcus Jones Shows How To Run For Congress In A Red State. (Don't Pretend To Be A Republican)
Who Wants To Cut Into Some Excessive CEO Pay?
Job Growth Frighteningly Stable, What Ever Shall We Do Now
New York Court Orders Poor Harried Simple Mom Ivanka Trump To Get Her Ass Up To Family Fraud Trial
What If Trump University But For Actual College, Everyone, Mandatory
The United States Of Cryptids! Tabs, Fri., Nov. 3, 2023
Are America's Airline Pilots Okay? Do They Need A Policeman Or A Grownup?
Glenn Beck Offers To Donate Himself To Israel, If Israel Is Into That Sort Of Thing
After 2013 Oil Train Explosion, Canadian Town Rebuilt Clean And Green
House Speaker Mike Johnson Pushing Christian Extremist 'Ex-Gay' Torture? LORDY THERE ARE TAPES.
If Pennsylvania Votes, Pennsylvania Can Keep Its Non-Lunatic State Supreme Court, As A Treat
LIVE: No Stupid Questions, Only Stupid Peter Doocys. Today’s White House Briefing!
Are America's Airline Pilots OK? Do They Need A Policeman Or A Grownup?
Poll: Most Republicans LOVE IMMIGRANTS ... Dying In Border Barriers Like Jesus Said They Should
Texas Bill Will Let Police Deport Migrants, *Technically* Violate The Fuck Out Of US Constitution
Rep. Ken Buck Quitting Like Big Quitter Because Of GOP’s Big Lie Obsession
Has Tate Reeves Disgusted Mississippians Enough That They’d Consider Voting For … A DEMOCRAT?
The Entire American Horror Story Timeline Explained! Tabs, Thurs., Nov. 2, 2023
Newsmax so mad Dr. Jill Biden wore kittycat nose for Halloween, LIKE HITLER.
Newsmax So Mad Jill Biden Wore Kitty Cat Nose For Hallowe’en, LIKE HITLER.
Are/Were Mike Johnson And His Teenage Son Each Other’s No-Pornin' Cops? Because That’s Weird.
Former Rep. Katie Hill's Husband Revenge-Porned Her, The Daily Mail Helped, And Now She's Bankrupt
Nikki Haley Surge All Part Of Ron DeSantis's Unconventional Third Place Victory Strategy
Mike Johnson’s Theocratic Gay-Hating Lunatic Extremism VERY LOVING, Says Mike Johnson
Moms For 'Liberty' Blameless In Library And School Bomb Threats Made By Anti-Trans Extremists, OK?
Charlie Kirk Bans Hallowe'en For Everyone, INCLUDING JEWISH PEOPLE.
Kyrsten Sinema Knows What Is Creepy, It Is You. You Are The Creep.
Michigan State Rep Honors Creeps Who Didn't Even Kidnap Gretchen Whitmer
The 59 Best Kitchen Cabinet Organizers Of All Time! Tabs, Wed., Nov. 1, 2023
No One's Wasting Good Drugs On Your Kids, No Matter How Awesome Their Costume Is
Great American Haunting Tales!
Hot Take: Lemonade Probably Shouldn't Kill You
Vivek Ramaswamy Just Finished 'Game Of Thrones' Marathon, Now Has Genius Ideas For Israel-Hamas War
LIVE: More Video Day! White House Briefing! Yay!
Will Republicans Finally Expel Fifth Beatle George Santos Or Nah?
Pharmageddon: The Pharmacists Are Walking Out Again!
House GOP Might Fund Israel Aid, But Only By Cutting IRS So US Can't Pay For Israel Aid
LIVE: Senate Video Day Continues With Wray And Mayorkas!
LIVE: Blinken And Austin Ask Senate For Ukraine/Israel Funding While Mike Johnson F*cks Around
14 Halloween Wedding Ideas That Are Seriously Spooky! Tabs, Tues., Oct. 31, 2023
Razorblades, Apples, and the Rude But True Story of the Dentist Who (Kinda) Ruined Halloween!
Twitter Worth Less Than Half Of What Elon Paid, Trust Him With All Your Money!
LIVE: Your Verrrry Scary Day-Before-Halloween White House Press Briefing!
UAW *Strikes* Tentative Deal With GM. Guess Who's Not Stopping There!
Speaker Mike Johnson's Wife Also Religious Extremist Lunatic, Sounds Like
Devil's Night King: Ron DeSantis
Razorblades, Apples And The Rude But True Story Of How A Dentist (Kinda) Ruined Halloween
Trump Re-Gagged In DC Election-Stealing Case
Return Of The Night Of The Living Blake Masters
Lady Who Watched 'The Craft' In High School Is Here To Warn About Halloween Dangers
Harlan Crow-Funded Rep. Dean Phillips Looking For Sweet Spot Between Ralph Nader, Jill Stein
Gee, Guess Stellantis Can Pay Their Workers Fairly After All!
A Creepy Fake Town! Tabs, Mon., Oct. 30, 2023
WonkTV: No, We Don't Need A 'Strong' GOP. That's How You Get Speaker Mike Johnson.
Mike Pence Ends Self-Loathing Quest To Lead The 'Hang Mike Pence' Party
Wonkette Movie Night: Zombie Double Feature, Day Of The Dead (1985) - Train To Busan (2016)
How The Hell Do I Deal With THE WORLD?!
Maine Mass Shooter Bought Gun Legally, Didn't Lose It Two Weeks Later When He 'Heard Voices'
Five Completely Normal Things House Speaker Mike Johnson Believes
'Ex-Satanist' Is Very Sure This Bette Midler Movie Will Get You Possessed By Satan
Let’s Do The Friday News Mash!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Corpse Reviver #2!
Federalist Columnist Will Not Be Sharing A Meal Like Some GD Commie
Ron DeSantis Lying About Arming Israel, His Real Height
It Is Vladimir Putin's Favorite Time Of Year! No, Not The Polonium Harvest
Glenn Youngkin Pretty Sure His 15-Week Abortion Ban Will Dazzle All The Swing Voters
Over 900 Twitter Blue Checks Think Ouija Boards Can Summon Demons For Real
Jared Golden Decides To Stop Being Wrong, Will Now Support Assault Weapons Ban
Sean Hannity Will Do MMA To Mass Shootings Like WHOMP! POW! CRACK! BOING!
Republicans One Big Happy Family Now Wait Is Matt Gaetz Outing Colleagues?
15 Easy Halloween Appetizers That Always Wow! Tabs, Fri., Oct. 27, 2023
Here's Why Robust GDP Growth Report Is Good News For John McCain! Plus your Wonkette Thursday news!
Here's Why Robust GDP Growth Report Is Good News For John McCain!
Matt Gaetz Says Mike Johnson Putting House On 'Bayou Hours.' What The Hell Is That?
Georgia Wants To Bribe Teachers $10,000 To Carry Guns, Almost Definitely Get Themselves Killed
LIVE: White House Briefing, Probably Hardly Anything To Talk About Today
Search Continues For Whichever Antifa Biden Lib Forced Maine Shooter To Pretend To Be A Right-Winger
United Auto Workers And Ford: LET'S MAKE A DEAL!
Oh Dear, Bret Baier's Dumb Ugly Mansion Probably Personally Responsible For Killing Coal
Fani Willis All Like Plea Deals For Everybody! Except Donald Trump! LMAO F*ck That Guy!
A New York Museum's House Of Bones! Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 26, 2023
Donald Trump Got Spanked, Gagged, And Fined In New York Court. Hell, Yeah, It Was HOT.
The Time Hawaiian Dockworkers And Mainland Solidarity Beat Big Sugar!
Ron DeSantis Bans Pro-Palestinian Student Groups To Show He Supports Israel Over US Constitution
House Republicans Find Coup-Plotting Religious Extremist Creeper They Can Agree On
LIVE: Joe Biden And Some Australian (Not Bluey)
LIVE: Let’s Put A Seditionist Second In Line To The Presidency! Or Not That!
Infowars Reporter Owen Shroyer Very Sad Alex Jones Won't Pay Him To Go To Jail For January 6 Crimes
Not-At-All Desperate Ron DeSantis: Trump 'Created' Fauci, Also Probably Senile
Republicans' New Court-Blessed Election Maps Turn North Carolina Into Mississippi, Goddamn!
We Hope Tim Scott’s Not Really Running For President Because That Would Be Embarrassing
15 Rude Sayings Your Southern Mama Hates! Tabs, Wed., Oct. 25, 2023
Random House Offers Prize For Teen Nerds Who Love Them Some Banned Books
Tom Emmer Is Latest White Guy On House GOP Reality Show ‘Hey What About That White Guy?’
Trumpland Lawyer Jenna Ellis Decides She Would Not Like To Go To Prison After All, TYVM
LIVE: One Of Them White House Presser Thingies
Autoworkers' Strike Expands, CEOs Too Busy Swimming In Money To Meet UAW Demands
PDX Public School Teachers Ready To Strike, Condemn Parents To Their Children
James Comer Wishes They’d Elect A Speaker So He Can Play More Pin The Tail On Hunter's Wiener
Murdered Sikh Man's Family Would Like To See Some Hate Crime Charges Filed
Donald Trump Had A Good Day Yesterday And His Brain Is Just Fine
A Surprising Number Of Celebrities Have Worked As Spies! Tabs, Tues., Oct. 24, 2023
Republicans Still Can't Replace Their Last Lousy Speaker
AOC Has Helpful Hints For Speaker Hopeful Byron Donalds, It Is Where Capitol Bathrooms Are Located
MA Legislators Want To Make Things Less Horrible For The Wrongly Convicted
Monday White House Press Briefing, Let’s Effing Go!
Dollar General's Creepy Pre-Employment Medical Exams Cost Them $1 Million
First Annual GOP Speakership Hunger Games!
Woke Feminist Newt Gingrich Has Idea For Speaker’s Race, Wanna Hear?
Virginia Is For Lovers Who Vote Against Anti-LGBTQ, Forced-Birth Republicans
North Carolina Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson Stands By His Ethnic Slur!
Shocking: The Chinese Communist Party Did Not Try To Kidnap George Santos' Niece
Republicans Gonna Keep Holding Speaker Elections Until We’re All Dead, Buried, Risen As Zombies
The 10 Most Important Lessons From '80s Vampire Movies! Tabs, Mon., Oct. 23, 2023
WonkTV: Jim Jordan Big Loser Edition
CVS Will No Longer Sell Decongestant That Doesn't Actually Do Anything
Wonkette Movie Night: An American Werewolf In London (1981)
Free Speech Lover Sarah Huckabee Sanders Will Tell You What Words You Can Use, Okay?
Can Biden Hand Out $100 Billion In Climate Grants Before Trump Is Reelected Or Released From Prison?
Florida Decides *Against* Prosecuting 69-Year-Old Black Woman For Voting
Shall We Get Our Grande Dame Guignol On?
Jim Jordan Has MEDDLED WITH THE PRIMAL FORCES OF NATURE!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Remember The Maine!
Do I Need A Book Agent Or Nah?
We Forgot Trump Is Still On Trial In New York Too. It's Going Very Badly For Him!
WONKETTE DETROIT HALLOWE'EN! This Saturday! Oct. 28! BE THERE!
Dean Phillips! AHH-Ahhh! Saviour Of Democracy! Dean Phillips! AHH-Ahhh! Just Who The Hell Is He?
Workers *Choose* To Not Work For Anti-Choice Ohio Restaurant
Gov. Mike DeWine (R) Very Proud Of New EV Charging Stations Ohio Building All By Itself!
Make Me, Shub-Niggurath, Your House Speaker, Or Be Cast Into Death Beyond Death, Mortals.
Imagine Jim Jordan House Speaker Vote Roll-Calling On A Human Face, Forever.
BRANDON ALERT: Biden Campaign Already Has More Truth Social Followers Than Trump Campaign
Dental Insurance: Not A Scam, Not Insurance! Tabs, Fri., Oct. 20, 2023
LIVE: Joe Biden Addresses Nation On Israel, Gaza AND Ukraine
Punk Ass Jim Jordan Will Never Stop Never Stopping
Steve Bannon Says Jim Jordan Is Mail-Order Bride, Is That True?
Big-Britches FCC FINALLY Bringing Back 'Net Neutrality'
DOJ Bans Family Separation At Border ... Until 2031 Anyway.
When John L. Lewis And Big Bill Hutcheson Brawled At The AFL!
New Louisiana Gov Perfectly Happy To Execute These People (One Factually Innocent) By Firing Squad
Jim Jordan Learns Being A Failure Isn’t Just A River In Egypt
Trump Trial In Manhattan Going Great, Wait Who Pleaded Guilty Where?
Houston Schools' Texas-Imposed 'High Quality' Curriculum Is Crap With A Capital CRAP
Wisconsin Republicans: We Tried To Fire All The State Dem Officials *Metaphorically*
Does No One Love Nancy Mace Enough To Dash Her Trump VP Dreams?
HE’S DOING IT AGAIN. (Allegedly.)
The Really Gross Reason You Shouldn't Go To Bed With Wet Hair! Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 19, 2023
Same Time Tomorrow, Jim? And other Wonkette news of today!
'Bullhorn Lady' Rachel Powell SHOCKED To Find Out That People Like Her Can Actually Go To Jail
Incoming GOP Louisiana Gov Jeff Landry Is YIKES
Ron DeSantis's New Chinese Exclusion Act Hitting Them Where It Hurts. Them Being Real Estate Agents.
Rite Aid Declares Bankruptcy, Putting Tragic End To No-Questions-Asked Prescription Service
LIVE: Jim Jordan Fails Harder With A Vengeance!
Wrongfully Convicted Black Man Finally Freed From Prison Long Enough For GA Cop To Kill Him
What Was Even The Point Of Kyrsten Sinema If Her GOP BFFs Are Already Supporting Kari Lake?
Hot New RFK Jr. Poll Says He's Screwing Exactly Who We Thought He Would
Everything You Need To Know Before Going To Yacht Week In Croatia! Tabs, Wed., Oct. 18, 2023
Trump's Cognitive Decline: OH NO THEY BANNED FLYPAPER! Edition
Revenge Of The Prius Nerds: DOJ Sues eBay For Aiding And Abetting 'Rolling Coal'
Guess We Should Discuss That Crazy Bigot With Imaginary Black Friends Running For Mayor In TN
LIVE: Gather 'Round And Watch Jim Jordan Fail, Or America Fail, Or Both
Biden Going To Israel Tonight, Oh Thank God Trump Isn't President Anymore
Will Cowardly Republicans Make Coup Plotter Jim Jordan Speaker?
Biden Campaign Joins Trump's 'Truth Social,' Just To Be A Dick
We've Got Some International Elections To Talk About!
How Snoop Dogg’s Joint-Rolling Skills Made Him A Sushi Master! Tabs, Tues., Oct. 17, 2023
Hey, Wait, A Marsha Blackburn-Sponsored Bill Is Bad?
LMAO This Dumb Candygram Hannity Is Sending To Republicans Who Won't Vote For Jim Jordan
Donald Trump Sues In London Court For DOSSIER CRIMES
This Bipartisan Bill To Protect Kids On The Internet Is A First Amendment Nightmare
Republicans’ Nuanced Response To Israel And Hamas
Lindsey Graham Grew A Spine For A Second, But Don’t Worry, It Went Away
How Much Will We Enjoy Watching Dem KY Gov Andy Beshear Beat Dirtbag Daniel Cameron?
Former Dem Rep. Tom Suozzi Heroically Returns To Defeat Vampire Slayer George Santos
Felony Indictment Collector, Accused Foreign Agent Bob Menendez Still Stinking Up Senate
The Definitive Horror Movie Cocktail Guide! Tabs, Mon., Oct. 16, 2023
Wonkette Movie Night: The Haunting (1963)
Pastor Greg Locke Wants To Mass Exorcise Your Children This Halloween
Illinois Progressives. We LOVE Illinois Progressives!
Striking Kaiser Permanente Workers Got Deal — And So Did Every Health Care Worker In California
Congratulations On Having Survived Friday The 13th!
Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish, AKA This Fucking Week
Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The S'mores Martini!
Principal Who Punished Student For Extracurricular Dancing Won't Be Coming Back This Year
George W. Bush Slithers Out Of Texas Underbrush To Remind Us War Is Awesome, Let's Have More
Hey Ohio, Early Voting On Your Abortion Rights Has Begun!
Maine To Vote On Nutty Idea: Make Electric Power Public, Affordable, Reliable. The Horror!
House Speaker Race Descending Into 'Lord Of The Flies But Stupid'
Everybody Wishes Trump Would STFU About Israel, Including Israel
What If Crowdfunding Is *Not* A Great Healthcare System?
Movies That Made Audiences Get Up And Leave! Tabs, Fri., Oct. 13, 2023
This Time Fani Willis Just Called Jim Jordan ‘Ignorant’ And Closed The Tab
October Inflation Report: Inflation Levels Off, Run For Your Lives!
Republicans Hope Whatshisname Who Played Whatsthatball Can Upset CA Senate Race
Former Playboy Playmate George Santos Threatens Colleagues Who Want To Expel Him
Extra! Extra! Listen All About It! It's Your White House Briefing.
Trump Attacks Israel, Calls The Terrorists 'Very Smart'
UAW Strike: Whoops, There Goes Kentucky!
Angry Little Wisconsin GOP Rep. Derrick Van Orden Had Another One Of His Incidents Yesterday
House Republicans Not Yet Sold On Jim Jordan Without The Baggage
Trump Completes Third Day Of Being Mad (YOU'RE MAD) At Forbes Magazine (YOU'RE FORBES MAGAZINE)
Seventh Heaven Actors You Didn't Know Were Dead! Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 12, 2023
Welcome To The Wonkette Emergency Cocktail, The Rye Manhattan!
Nancy Mace And The Red Badge Of Courage
CA Gov Gavin Newsom Risks Political Career Apparently, Signs Couple Good Bills Into Law
Some Asshole Signing Fifth Circuit's Name To Stupid Opinions
LIVE From The White House, It's The White House!
Ron DeSantis Gonna Make You Keep Looking At Him Until His Poll Numbers Improve
Laura Ingraham Wishes Joe Biden Would Stop Doing Hamas Attacks To Poor Donald Trump
Hey, Scholastic, Maybe You Could NOT Help Out The Censors?
America’s Dumbest Senator Calls The Cops Because Former CIA Chief Made Fun Of Him
Republicans Set To Pick Next House Speaker Whether We Like It Or Not!
George Santos Hit With New Indictment On Same Day He Saved Orphans From Burning School Bus
How French Girls Practice Self-Care! Tabs, Wed., Oct. 11, 2023
Josh Hawley On Hamas, Putin, Israel And Ukraine Is What We In The Biz Call CHOOTSPAH
UAW Killing It In Auto Strike (No, The Good Killing It)
LIVE: More Answers On Israel And Hamas In Today's White House Press Briefing
Republicans Hate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Now, Is There A Vaccine For That?
Texas Republicans Hang With Nazi! Ken Paxton On Revenge Tour! We Are Not Surprised.
LIVE: President Biden Speaks On Hamas Terrorist Attacks On Israel
Red States Kicking Millions Off Medicaid, Including Kids, Because They Can
Ruben Gallego Courteously Engages At Airport With Frothing Unhinged Imaginary Gov Kari Lake
Josh Hawley Uses Israel Attacks As Excuse To Slurp Putin's Bathwater
Forbes Took Trump Off Rigged And Stollen 400 Richest List, And He Is MAD
Columbus Defenders Really Just Phoning It In This Year
It's RICO In Georgia. In TWO WEEKS!
How Is PE Major Tommy Tuberville's Anti-Abortion Crusade Hurting The US Military Today?
Nancy Mace Destroyed Unearned Reputation And All She Got Was Lousy T-Shirt
Support Your Local Walgreens Pharmacist Walkout!
Trump Knows Who Has A Hotter Body Than Joe Biden, It Is Himself
VA Gov Glenn Youngkin Accidentally, Probably Not On Purpose Purged Non-Felons From Voter Rolls
Horrible People Respond To Horrible Israel Attack Just As You’d Expect
How To Have The Sex Talk Like A Dutch Mom! Tabs, Mon., Oct. 9, 2023
WonkTV: Who’s The Next Rock Bottom House Speaker?
Trump Is Once Again Very Sad About All The Entirely Legal Post-Birth Abortions
Wonkette Movie Night: Alien (1979)
Anderson Cooper's Beaver Apocalypse
GOP Rep So Ready For Trump To Be Speaker He'll Change 'No Criminals' Rule
Today We Celebrate Being Cheap And Homely!
Joe Biden CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP Forgiving Student Debt!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Fall Apple Sangria!
No, Decriminalization Doesn't Lead To More Overdose Deaths!
September Jobs Report Shocker: Joe Biden Still Adding TOO MANY JOBS
They Won't Let My Kid Rock the Bells!
Abusive Texas Man Does Exact Thing We Said Abusive Texas Men Would Do
Joe Biden Just CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP Forgiving Student Debt!
Donald Trump Endorses Screaming Easter Island Head As Speaker Of The House
You Could Put An Eye Out! Spate Of Lawsuits Target Homeopathic Eye Drops
20 Most Haunted Places In The World! Tabs, Fri., Oct. 6, 2023
Is it AOC's job to be Kevin McCarthy's mom, or is it *not* AOC's job to be Kevin McCarthy's mom?
Love It When The American President Throws His Ketchup At The Wall SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK
UAW Thinks Six Years Is A Real Long Time To Be A 'Temporary' Worker
LIVE: First White House Briefing Since That Awful Thing Happened To Kevin
The Hell? Biden Administration Building More Goddamn WALL In Texas? The Holy HELL?
Jimmy Carter's Solar Panels And The Mellow Allman Brothers Climate Paradise That Could've Been
No, It Wasn't AOC’s Job To Put A Pool Noodle Around Kevin McCarthy To Keep His Speakership Afloat
Rise And Shine, America! Republicans Are Telling Gross Stories About Matt Gaetz’s Red Rocket!
How Can Joe Biden Take Away Our Guns If Gun Haver Hunter Still At Large?
15 Facts You Need To Know About Sardines! Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 5, 2023
Maggie Haberman Has Scoop, It Is That Rudy Be Drinkin'
Not Even Justice Clarence Thomas Wants To Know John Eastman These Days
Vivek Ramaswamy Wants To Phantom Zone Mentally Ill People Because That'll Fix All The Crime
Arizona To Saudi Water Rustlers: So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen The Fuck Out
Republicans Should DEFINITELY Try To Make Trump The Next Speaker. What Could Go Wrong?
Joe Manchin Being A Total Joe Manchin Again
Elon's Getting Sued By Man He Accused Of Being A 'Fed' Posing As A Neo-Nazi
Pharma Companies Agree To Negotiate Medicare Drug Prices, Tyrant Socialism Ensues
Nikki Haley's Just Plumb Thrilled Trump's Sicced His MAGA Mob On Her
God Closes Kevin McCarthy Door, Puts ‘Kick Me’ Sign On Some Dork Patrick McHenry’s Window
Kevin McCarthy Speakership Grand Closing Celebration!
The Great Zelle Pool Scam! Tabs, Wed., Oct. 4, 2023
Massachusetts Makes Getting Childcare Help Easier, Probably For Scary Reasons
Putin's Got Plans To Get Americans (Republicans) Waaaaay More Excited About Genociding Ukraine
Yes, Laphonza Butler Is Cali Enough To Serve In Senate. Let's Move On.
Your Red State Is Trying To Kill You
John Kelly Confirms Trump Despises The Troops Exactly As Much As We Thought
Supposed Adults Matt Gaetz, Kevin McCarthy Reenact The Sillier Parts Of Every Teen Movie You've Seen
Big Oil Ain't In The Ice Cream Business! Tabs, Tues., Oct. 3, 2023
Lunatic North Dakota GOP State Rep Says Congress Must Do The Following Calisthenics For Christ
Trump Civil Trial Gets Off To Smashing Start. And He Hasn't Even Taken The Stand Yet!
Trump Scared Of Electrocution But Sharks Are Scarier, He'll Tell You Why, Wanna Know Why?
WonkTV: Joe Biden Shows Some Love To The Americans With Disabilities Act
NC Classical Station Scandalized By Operas About Anti-Death Penalty Nuns, Gay People, Malcolm X
LIVE FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, It’s Another One Of Them Press Briefing Thingies
McCarthyism 2: At Mutiny's Gaetz
Gloria Johnson, Badass Tennessee Democrat On Or Off Her Mobile Scooter
Subway Franchisees Horrified To Discover They Were Actually Supposed To Pay Their Employees
Will Gavin Newsom Keep His Promise To California Black Women Without Any Strings Attached?
Taylor Swift’s ‘Seemingly Ranch’ Might Not Be Ranch at All! Tabs, Mon., Oct. 2, 2023
WonkTV: Julie Andrews Birthday Spectacular!
Those Cakes We Like… Are Reaching For The Comfort Food
Wonkette Movie Night: Tucker & Dale Vs Evil!
NC Schools Unban 'Banned Books Week,' As Plan To Ban It Had Few Fans
Trump Once Again Encourages His Supporters To Get Violent, Do Crimes
Man Accused Of Dismembering Girlfriend Was Posterboy For Betsy DeVos' War On #MeToo
Olive Oil Is An Acceptable Topic
Halloween Countdown Starts NOW!
Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Cherry Tobacco Old Fashioned!
Enjoy A Collection Of House Democrats Reading Republicans For Filth At The Impeachment F*ckbungle
Dammit, I Just Want My Kids to Do Art!
Oh Look, New York City Mayor Caught By Surprise By Weather. Again.
Nervous Glances At Urinal Descend Into Fisticuffs Between DeSantis And Trump At The Makeup Mirror
Abortion Ban States Soon Won't Have Anyone To Deliver The Babies They Want To Force People To Have
Byron Donalds Very Mad Hunter Biden's Penis Tried To Support Family
Another Innocent Man Freed From Prison After 28 Years. Is It Possible We Are Not Good At This?
Joe Biden: Democracy, Girl, You In Danger
Sorry, Steve Bannon And Neil Cavuto. That WAS James Comer's A-Game.
Four Things To Declutter This Weekend! Tabs, Fri., Sept. 29, 2023
Here's What The TV And Movie Writers Got From Striking. It's Pretty Darn Good!
Five National Security Policy Takeaways From The GOP Debate ... Nah, It Was A Shitshow
Which Utah Republican Will Replace Mitt Romney And Why Will They Be Terrible?
Hunter Biden's Penis Must Resign The Presidency! Your Make-Believe Biden Impeachment Liveblog!
Tyrant Gavin Newsom To Ban Book Bans, Like A Tyrant
Bob Menendez Is GOP’s New Favorite Democrat! (GOP Has Very Bad Taste In Democrats)
8 Best Overwater Bungalows In The Caribbean In 2023! Tabs, Thurs., Sept. 28, 2023
We’re Not Liveblogging The Republican Debate
Trump's Lawyers Seem Kinda Scared Of What's About To Happen To Him
John Fetterman, Senate Dems Gonna Wipe Out 'Student Lunch Debt,' Give Everybody Eat
Trump Just Got The 'Corporate Death Penalty' In New York, And It Is HI-LARIOUS.
Florida School District Orders Librarians To Purge All Books With LGBTQ+ Characters
Surprise, Dallas Voters, The Democratic Mayor You Elected Is A Republican Now!
Democrat Henry Cuellar Knows What ‘Border Crisis’ Needs: For Him To Go On Fox News And Bash Biden
Kyrsten Sinema's Totally Real Not At All Made Up Perfect Plan For FLAWLESS VICTORY
House GOP Might Consider Funding Government If You'll Let Them Watch Some Poor Kids Starve
A Medieval French Skeleton Is Rewriting the History of Syphilis! Tabs, Wed., Sept. 27, 2023
Gallant walks the picket line, Goofus is a dirty scab, and everything else at today's Wonkette!
Cassidy Hutchinson Says Trump Sang Along To 'Hang Mike Pence' Chants Like It Was The Damn Wiggles
A Hearty And Loving F*CK YOU To Libs Of Tik-Tok And Her Shitbag Ilk Terrorizing The LGBTQIA Babies
Supreme Court To Alabama: DID WE STUTTER?
How Many Senate Democrats Calling For Corrupt Bob Menendez's Resignation? Almost All Of Them, Katie!
Gallant Walks The Picket Line, Goofus Is A Dirty Scab
Axios Can Now Confidently Report That Joe Biden Wears Tennis Shoes
Trump Knows What Makes Whales Bipolar, It Is Windmills
Republicans Know What Voters Want: *More Animal Cruelty*
It’s A Story Pretty Gory For A Nursery Rhyme! Tabs, Tues., Sept. 26, 2023
Taylor Swift Enrages MAGA With Her Fabulousness
Trump Bought A Gun! JK No He Didn’t, He Was Just Jinglin’ Keys For His Dog-Brained Followers
The Anti-Shoplifting Hysteria Has Now, Predictably, Gotten Someone Killed
How To Be A Jackass Without Anyone Thinking You Are A Jackass
Happy End To Writers' Strike! (Maybe)
Can We Stop Pretending Republican 'Family Values' Means 'Not Cheating On Your Wife?'
Who Is Donald Trump Accusing Of Treason Today?
Seattle Police Still Denying True Justice For Jaahnavi Kandula
David McCormick Running Again For PA Senate, Still Confused About Which State He Lives In
WGA, AMPTP Reach Tentative Deal We Hope Keeps Robots Out Of Writers' Rooms
D-I-WHY Projects That Had Everyone Doing A Double-Take! Tabs, Mon., Sept. 25, 2023
WonkTV’s ‘Fashion Police: Special Senate Unit’
BeyHive Rises In Formation, Helps Disabled Fan See Beyoncé Concert
Wonkette Movie Night: The Frighteners
We Do Not Actually Need Businesses That Won't Pay Their Employees Enough To Live
Sitting IS the Opposite of Standing
Which Billionaires Are Not, Pinky Swear, NOT Buying Clarence Thomas This Week?
Sorry The Rapture Didn't Happen Yesterday! (Or Did It?)
It's Yr Wonkette Roundup For Friday, Sep. 22!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Cider Brandy Fix!
Help Me Rescue My Pal From A Stupid Cult!
Texas Judge Who Tried To Kill Abortion Pills Is Now Out To Kill Free Speech (For Drag Queens)
Joe Biden Keeps Coming For Your Guns And Now He's Coming For Your GOD
Bob Menendez Officially Most Corrupt Senator, Aye, Fugheddaboutit.
New Book: Rupert Murdoch Stupid, A Dick
David Brooks Recalls A Better America When A Man Could Cheaply Get Drunk In An Airport
House Republicans Still Can't Figure Out Their Shit, Nine Days To Shutdown
This 'Travel Hack' Is Stupid, Illegal, And Not At All Funny! Tabs, Fri., Sept. 22, 2023
What's this about Rosemary's abortion clinics?
Daily Wire Guy Very Concerned About Rosemary's Abortion Clinics
Come Let's All Dance On Project Veritas's Grave
Oh No Not A JOBS PROGRAM To Fight CLIMATE CHANGE!
Canadian Transphobes Thought Millions Would March For Them. It Didn't Quite Work Out That Way.
Gavin Newsom's Telling You He's Not Running
How Could Florida Get Worse? Gov Matt Gaetz Is How!
Texas School Fires Teacher For Aggravated Offense Of 'Teaching Anne Frank's Diary'
Six Reasons This Tuscan Villa Will Be The Best Stay Of Your Life! Tabs, Thurs., Sept. 21, 2023
12 Wonkette Stories THEY Don't Want You To Read!
Trump Wetting His Britches Over Going To Prison, Wearing Jumpsuit, Being Utterly Alone Forever
Cassidy Hutchinson Says Rudy Celebrated Jan. 6 By Groping Her. Sounds About Right.
Pennsylvania Dems Re-Retake State House In Third Special Election This Year
A Metaphor That Applies To Joe Klein's Latest Newsletter: F*ck Off
WaPo SHOCKER: Clean Energy Is Clean, Actually! (Yes, Including EVs)
Guess Ron DeSantis Running For President Against Nancy Pelosi We Mean Kevin McCarthy Now
LIVE: Choose Your Own Adventure! Merrick Garland Or IRONMAN Secretary Mayor Pete?
Judge Boxwine Knows What Causes MURDERRRRRR, It Is Participation Trophies
Tim Scott's Had It With Lazy Bums Who Build Our Cars, Keep Planes From Crashing
Dark Roast Color Changing Mug! Tabs, Wed., Sept. 20, 2023
Rudy Sued For $1.4 Million By His Old Lawyers, Probably Gonna Have To Start An OnlyFans
Capitol Riot Conspiracy Magnet Ray Epps Still Not A Fed, Now Under Federal Indictment.
Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro Gonna Do All The Voter Frauds (By Letting People Vote)
House Speaker For The Ages Kevin McCarthy Flawlessly Passes Inevitable Government Shutdown
Trump drew dicks on classified documents, because obviously
LIVE: President Zelenskyy Is At The UN, So That’ll Piss Putin’s American Fanboys Off
California Sues Big Oil For Embuggering Climate, Being Big Fuckin' Liars
Trump Drew Dicks On Classified Flash Cards He Stole, Because Of Course
LIVE: Joe Biden Speaks At UN To Distract From Hunter Biden To Distract From Joe Biden Is Old
New Senate Dress Code Lets John Fetterman Wear Shorts, Susan Collins Rock A Bikini
Lauren Boebert Breaks Up With 'Beetlejuice' Democrat, Romance Officially Dead.
Definitely Do Not Put Plastic In The Microwave. Tabs, Tues., Sept. 19, 2023
Wonkette Stands By The Auto Workers! We Don't Feel Sorry For CEOs.
'Queen Of Canada' Run Out Of Town, Followers Outraged By Negative Media Coverage
Dirtbag Texas AG Ken Paxton Slithers Out Of Accountability In Impeachment Trial, Surprise
UAW Strike Day Four: Which Side Are You On, Man?
Why That 'Meet The Press' Trump Interview Broke Us
Here's Ron DeSantis Whining About 'Abortion Tourism,' In Case You Forgot How Much You Hate Him
Eastern Oregon Conservatives Annoyed With Democracy, Wanna Join Deep-Red Idaho
Republican Who Tried To Steal Election Runs For Same Office Again ... Gee, Sounds Familiar.
No, Trump Isn’t Our Punishment For Not Loving Enough On Mitt Romney
The Right Only Believes In Sexual Assaults That Happen In Their Own Imaginations
The True Story Of The Fake Unboxed Aliens! Tabs, Mon., Sept. 18, 2023
WonkTV: Wonkette Don’t Want No Scabs
Anti-Vax Aaron Rodgers Thinks The Sounds Of Dolphins Boning Can Heal His Achilles Tendon
Wonkette Movie Night: A Shot In The Dark
This Day in Labor History: September 16, 2004--Farmworkers Defeat Evil at Mt. Olive Pickles
Sarah Huckabee Thinks Everyone Is Way Jealous Of How 'Normal' Arkansas Is
New York Outlaws Stealing From Your Workers, What Crazy Nonsense Is This?
We're All Dying To Hear The Story Behind Your Tattoo!
Welcome to happy hour, your cocktail is beer. (Plus everything else we covered today!)
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, BEER!
There's So Much More UAW News, We Needed Another Post
Federal Judge Throws Out DACA Again
WonkTV: Abortions Are Coming Back To Wisconsin!
Sam Bankman-Fried Manifesto Reads Like The Unabomber Crossed With Sweet Valley High
It's Hot Strike ... September?
Could President Mike Pence Eat Alone With A Woman VP, Or Is Mother Still 86-ing That?
Ordering This At A Business Dinner Could Lose You Your Job! Tabs, Fri., Sept. 15, 2023
Hunter Biden Indicted, Putting End To America's Long National Hunter Biden Crime Spree Nightmare!
Hunter Biden Indicted, Putting End To America's Long National Hunter Biden Crime Spree Nightmare
Tyrant Joe Biden's Tyrant NLRB Stone Cold Arresting Salon Owners Now Just For Defying Judges' Orders
LIVE: Biden Doing Bidenomics Speeches Again, Probably To Distract From Hunter's Laptop
That Time When Mitt Romney (Yes, Him) Had A Real Plan To Help Poor Kids
If the Founders didn't want wife-shooters to have guns, they would have said NO GUNS, WIFE-SHOOTERS!
Domestic Abuser Shot At Woman In Parking Garage, Wants Supreme Court To Give Him Back His Guns
Did Kevin McCarthy Think Impeach! Would Distract Chaos Caucus From Government Shutdown?
Is Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm Bringing Alien Corpses To House Committee?
Joe Biden’s IRS Stormtroopers Coming For The Poor Tax-Dodging Millionaires
Dementia-Free Non-Alcoholic Rudy Giuliani Generously Offers To Lead House Impeachment Of Joe Biden
Justin Timberlake's Car Collection Is A Total Snooze-Fest! Tabs, Thurs., Sept. 14, 2023
Hoopy Froods Taking A Flying Fuck At A Rolling Donut
Mitt Romney Won't Be Senator Of Utah After Next Year, But He'll Still Be Senator Of Hot Dogs
Hold On Tight, Ukraine. Putin Is Tonguing Elon's Ear Again.
Hero Seattle Cop Caught On Tape Mocking Death Of 23-Year-Old Woman Run Over By Police
WaPo Columnist: What If Joe Biden Didn't Run Again, That'd Be Cool Right?
Republicans SHOCKED To Discover Voters Hate What They Are Selling
Your White House Press Briefing Is Full Of Fine Fellers!
House GOP Might Boot Kevin McCarthy Before Ever Getting Around To Joe Biden's BS Impeachment
If Senator John Kennedy Starts Reading To You, Call The Cops.
Inflation Up A Skosh In August, Let's Panic, Or Better Yet, Let's Not
Asshole CEO Thinks ‘Arrogant’ Workers Need To ‘Suffer’ So They’ll Love Bosses More
Rightwing Creeps Gonna Let Real Moms, Babies Die Of AIDS To Stop Imaginary Abortions
Republicans Serve Up Trump-Ordered Biden Impeachment ... No Evidence, No Waiting
Lauren Boebert Kicked Out Of Theater For Acting Too Lauren Boebert-y
Spa Life! Tabs, Wed., Sept. 13, 2023
Oh no the Republicans are fighting :/
Charlie Kirk Pretty Sure Impeachment Inquiry Just A Trick To Distract Morons Like Charlie Kirk
Nobody In Canada Has Ever Met Tim Scott’s Canadian Girlfriend
Ashli Babbitt's Mom Can't Stop Fantasizing About Lynching The Black Cop Who Killed Her
Can This 'Student Debt Release Tool' Get Your Student Loans Forgiven? Worth A Try At Least!
Putin Not Surprised Biden Abusing Political Prisoners Like Trump, Just Disappointed
Guess Ron DeSantis And His Hack Surgeon General Want More Needless COVID Deaths
The Correct Answer To 'That Democrat Did Porns On The Internet!' Is 'YUP!'
FDA Approves New COVID Vaccine, No Cure For Stupid Antivaxxers On Horizon
Did Ken Buck Mention MTG Is A Flaming Idiot About Impeachment? He Should Mention That.
Candy Before A Workout Can Actually Be Healthy (Sort Of)! Tabs, Tues., Sept. 12, 2023
Wonkette's Solemn 9/11 In Alaska News Roundup!
LIVE: President Biden Commemorates 9/11 Anniversary In Anchorage. (And Fox News Is MAD.)
Drew Barrymore Excited To Help Striking Writers By Crossing A Picket Line And Scabbing
Trump Still Bragging In 2023 About Dementia Test He Says He Aced In 2018
An Ignorant Cop Stole 25 Years Of This Man's Life
Grass Is Not Always Greener On 'Both Sides'
Your Monday Mid-Day Wonkette Roundup!
Oh Look, Another Republican Who Wishes Tommy Tuberville Would Stop Hurting America
'Radical' DA Charges Cop With Murder For Shooting Man, Lying His Ass Off About It
South Dakota GOP Gov Kristi Noem Hops On Speeding Trump Train
Musk: Unless Everyone Agrees With Me On Everything, We Can't Live On Mars
New Mexico Gov Fed Up, Banning Every Damn Gun She Sees
Those Nebraska First Ladies Were On Some Serious Sh*t. Tabs, Mon., Sept. 11, 2023
WonkTV: The GOP’s New Coke-Style Evil Rebrand!
Wonkette Movie Night: Hedwig And The Angry Inch
Let's All Enjoy This Video Of Mike Lindell Freaking Out Over Lumpy Pillows
Ohio GOP Lawmaker's Domestic Violence Habit Finally Costs Him His Job
Here Are Some Wonderful Things About Philadelphia!
Don't Get Stoned And Try To Operate A Rowboat, Okay?
Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Professor Elemental!
George Santos Lied So Much That Aides Were Quitting Before The Campaign Started
Georgia Grand Jury Would Have Invited Mike Flynn And Lindsey Graham To The Indictment Party
Greg Abbott's Murder Buoys Can Stay (For Now, Will Probably Have To Go Soon)
Friday late lunch news break with Wonkette and SHARKS!
RFK Jr. Gives Speech To Crowd Containing German Neo-Nazis, Sues Blogger For Noticing
Is The Term 'Pro-Life' The Problem, Or Do People Just Want Abortion Rights?
Praying Football Coach Gets Job Back, Immediately Quits, Will Probably Whine About It At Next CPAC
Who Gon' Cry At The Ken Paxton Impeachment Trial Today?
Fani Willis Roasts Jim Jordan's Dick Over Open Fire
Shame MTG Skipped Constitution Class To Go To CrossFit, Says Her GOP Colleague Ken Buck
SHARKS! Tabs, Fri., Sept. 8, 2023
Tucker Carlson doing 2010-era Glenn Beck with "the guy who banged Obama" sure yup!
Tucker Carlson Hears About Obama Doing Gay Sex, Tries To Suppress Boner
It's A Bad Time To Be A Union Buster
Black Woman Walgreens CEO Takes Tumble Off Glass Cliff
Mean Judge Making Greg Abbott Move Fun Orange Human-Killing Obstacle Courses From Rio Grande
Donald Trump Warms Up For Criminal Trials By Getting His Ass Kicked In Civil Cases
Spend your lunch break (YOU AINT GOT NO LUNCH BREAK!) with all this damn news from Wonkette!
Clarence Thomas Responds To Ethics Concerns: Get F*cked, Haters, Says Clarence Thomas
Mexico Now Less Horrible About Abortion Than The US
Pardon Me Madam, Would You Happen To Have Any Ken Paxton Impeachment Trial?
Trump Can’t Wait To Testify Against Himself In All His Criminal Trials
OK, Maybe Biden Really Is Coming For Your Guns
The Milk Scandal That Swept 19th Century New York! Tabs, Thurs., Sept. 7, 2023
Woody Allen? REALLY? Wonkette evening news of this evening!
Is Sarah Huckabee Sanders's Dad Making Threats Or Does He Just Need His Bedpan Changed?
Lordy, Trump's Lawyer's Voice Memos About BOXES HOAX
James O'Keefe Spent Veritas Donor Money Like A Drunken Sailor On A Dildo Boat
LIVE: Oh Great, Another Press Briefing From THE REGIME
Wisconsin GOP Gonna IMPEACH Justice Janet Protasiewicz For High Crime Of Public Liberalness
Florida Parents Really, Really Need Trips To Disney World For, Uh, Their Kids' Education
Sarah Palin Remembers When Lady Justice Was Too Blind To Even See January 6 Attacker Dudes
Why Do We Keep Saying COVID Symptoms Are ‘Mild’?
Gloria Johnson Would Like To ‘Tennessee Three’-Step Marsha Blackburn Right Out Of US Senate
Why Can't You Wear White After Labor Day? Tabs, Wed., Sept. 6, 2023
Libertarian glampers escape Burning Man with (most of :( ) their lives! Wonkette evening news!
Burning Man Mud Situation God’s Punishment For All The F*cking, According To Lunatics
Texas Senate Laces Up Steel-Toed Boots To Kick AG Ken Paxton In The Jimmies
Federal Court Slaps Down Alabama's Illegal Gerrymander. It Might Stick This Time!
Everybody Turning On Trump And All His Tomorrows Will Be Worse Than His Yesterdays
Libertarian Glampers Finally Escape Burning Man Festival With Their Lives
September Means Back To School, And Back To White House Press Briefings
Sex stuff, Kari Lake and MGT, Rick Scott and some Fox News idiot, not all together
Fox News White Guy Having Conniption About Thing
Elon Musk Going With Novel 'Blame The Jews For His Own F*ckups' Public Relations Strategy
Here's Why You Had A Better Weekend Than That Dirtbag Ron DeSantis
Good Morning, Marjorie Taylor Greene And Kari Lake Hate Each Other Now
What Santa Won’t Tell You: Reindeer Meat Is Delicious! Tabs, Tues., Sept. 5, 2023
Happy Labor Day To Everyone Who’s Not Indicted For Election Racketeering!
WonkTV: Labor Day Weekend Jamboree!
Those Cakes We Like … Are Having a Celebratory Afternoon Tea
Wonkette Movie Night: His Girl Friday
Holiday Wonkend Reading Spectacular!
Let's Remember The Time Jimmy Buffett Really Bummed Out A Bunch Of Republicans
Your lazy Friday Labor Day weekend eve Wonkette news roundup!
Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Watermelon Margaritas!
Sex and Money and Emotions, Ew!
Ron DeSantis Sics Goons On 15-Year-Old Child Who Terrified Him With With Substantive Question
Nebraska Gov's Anti-Trans Executive Order Has State Legislator Lady Lookin' To Punch Him Out
Don't Go Looking For Assassination Co-Conspirators On Craigslist
That Time Vivek Ramaswamy Fleeced Your Grandma, Who Has Alzheimer's
Lady With Fetuses In Coolers Convicted, But Not For The Fetuses In The Coolers
Texas Gov Gifts Houston Schools Orderly, Robotic Efficiency, Stomping On Their Faces Forever
Matt Schlapp’s CPAC Team-Building Exercises Sound Fun, If You're Into Exorcisms
Some Idiot Tennessee DA Thinks He’s Going To Enforce Drag Ban Even A Trump Judge Called Stupid
Want A Trendy Kitchen? You Might Have To Hide Your Sink. Tabs, Fri., Sept. 1, 2023
Brian Kilmeade and the BONG FULL OF POTS! Wonkette evening roundup!
Brian Kilmeade Terrified A Bong Full Of Pots Is Going To Win The US Open
Kevin McCarthy Warns House Ninnyhammer Caucus That Gubmint Shutdown Would Delay Biden Impeachment
Ted Cruz Likes Beer. Also, F*ck Ted Cruz.
What, The New York AG Says Trump LIED About How Rich He Is? But How Could That BEEEEEE???
Some Real Hootenanny Bullsh*t Happening With Trump's Georgia RICO Case, Y'all
What If No Labels Ran A Democrat And A Republican On The Same Ticket And ZZZZZZZZZZ
Ted Cruz: Regular Guy Who Drinks Beer And Not Even Everybody Wants To Punch Him In The Face
Possible Future Felon Still Tanning The Asses of Those Other GOP Dummies
Disturbing Stuff You Can't Ignore Anymore In Grease! Tabs, Thurs., Aug. 31, 2023
Okay, these Schlapps are schlaaaaappschlitt! Wonkette evening news roundup!
Why Is This Pud From Maine Saying Old Codgers Like Me Have To Join The Marines?
Oh No, The Daily Beast And Its Lover Satan Are Chasing Perfect Christians Matt And Mercedes Schlapp
Wisconsin Chief Justice Annette Ziegler Wants Her Oompa-Loompa NOW!
Mean Judge Tells Rudy Giuliani To PAY THE F*CK UP To Nice Black Lady Election Workers He Sh*t-Talked
LIVE: Biden Talks About Maui Wildfires, Hurricane Idalia, Probably Other Bad Things Too
Conservatives Get Ready To BUT HER EMAILS Joe Biden
TN GOP Speaker Can 'Silence' Rep. Justin Jones (Yes, Again) But He Can't Shut Him Up
LIVE: There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid White House Reporters. Today's Briefing!
John Eastman Dares You To Find ONE EVIDENCE Of A Criminal Conspiracy Oh You Found More Than One?
Medicare Prescription Drug Price Negotiations Just Like Soviet Days, If USSR Had Been Capitalist
Texas Guard Stone Cold Shooting Mexico Like Yosemite Sam, Pew Pew Pew, Pew Pew.
Joe Biden Too Old And Feeble, Democrats Confess At Their Hipster Ice Cream Parties
Jack Smith Just Wondering If Rudy Giuliani Was As Think As You Drunks He Was On Election Night
The World's 13 Most Beautiful Villages You've Probably Never Heard Of! Tabs, Wed., Aug. 30, 2023
Fox News knows what Black people love, it is mugshots.
White Fox News Racists Know What Black People Love, It Is Mugshots
Mark Meadows Had The Right To Remain Silent. But Now He Doesn't.
LIVE: Joe Biden And Kamala Harris Handing Out Cheap Drugs Or Something
House GOP Not Waiting Around For Woke 'Evidence' To Start Impeaching Biden
You want your Wonk TV! Plus today's other top stories so far!
LIVE: What Will Peter Doocy Waste Our Lives On Today?
Matt Schlapp's Junk Pummeling Its Way Back Into News Cycle
Remembering The Black People Who Died In Jacksonville, Not The Nazi Who Killed Them
Donald Trump Standing Athwart His Court Date And Yelling ‘I OBJECT!’
How To Split the Bill At A Restaurant, No Matter How Complicated. Tabs, Tues., Aug. 29, 2023
Trump Has Super Monday Trial Date! It's Your End Of Day News Roundup!
It's Your GOP Mugshot Fashion Review!
LIVE: White House Holding Briefing, Probably To Discuss Trump's Golfing Victories
There Are Only Bad Days In Donald Trump’s Future, And One Of Them Is March 4, 2024
WonkTV: Let's Discuss The Jacksonville Shooting, Maybe Boo DeSantis Some More
Booing Ron DeSantis As A Moral Imperative. It's Your Midday News Roundup!
Trump Didn’t Choose This Star Athlete’s Life, It Chose Him
Joe Biden's Gonna Secretly Replace Your Ceiling Fan With Commie Crystals. Let's Watch!
Newt Gingrich So Sad For All The Month-Old Babies Liberals Want To Infanticide
Nikki Haley’s Classy POTUS Platform: 'Biden Old, Already Dead, Pick Me, I'm Still Alive!'
Ron DeSantis Somehow Not Very Popular At Vigil For Jacksonville Shooting Victims
WonkTV: Donald Trump Scared Baby Mugshot Edition
Well-Regulated Racist Shooter Kills Three At Jacksonville, FL Dollar General
Wonkette Movie Night: Miller's Crossing
Florida Republican Is Fighting For His 'Right To Rock' And You're Really Gonna Wish He Would Not
Oliver Anthony Will Not Be Wingnuts' Jizz-Drenched Sock Puppet, Thank You
Richard Simmons And Anne Murray Want You To Believe In Yourself!
Your Friday night news dump (just kidding, there better not be!) from Wonkette!
Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Pimm's Cup!
Wisconsin Republicans Sure Do Love Child Labor
Poll Porn: More Americans Ready To Say 'Lock Him Up!'
Jim Jordan Wants To Start Sh*t With DA Fani Willis
Vivek Ramaswamy Gets Schooled In Foreign Policy By ... Brian Kilmeade? Brian Kilmeade.
Oh no THE STORM is upon Yr Wonkette! Midday roundup!
If Republicans Think Abortion Is So Bad, Why Can't They Say One True Thing About It?
Wingnuts Pretty Sure Trump's Booking Means Civil War For Sure This Time
Sad Former Brazilian Strongman Jair Bolsonaro Just Pawning Pricy Gifts For Rent Money, Cab Fare
These Are The 100 Biggest Tourist Traps In The World. So What?! Tabs, Fri., Aug. 25, 2023
Mugshotpalooza Wonkette evening roundup!
Here’s Your Mark Meadows Mugshot, To Amuse Your Bouche
Post-debate mishegas Midday Wonkette roundup aqui!
Tucker Pretty Scared 'They're' Gonna De-Plane Trump, Just Like 'They' Did To Prigozhin
WaPo Profile Of Embattled Michigan Sex Educator Makes Strong Case For Yeeting MAGA Chuds Into Sun
Nikki Haley Is President Of Calling Vivek Ramaswamy A Little Bitch, BUT ONLY THAT
Republicans Finally Mention Climate In A Debate, God Help Us
Alaska Gov Hops On Board Trump Train, Just Days Before Big Georgia Mugshot Photo Session
That Time Eleanor Roosevelt Disappeared For 10 Days! Tabs, Thurs., Aug. 23, 2023
Oh right, debate stuff plus your other Wonkette afternoon stories of the day!
LIVE: Republican Debate Or Criminal Arraignment? In America We Don't Have To Choose!
Get Well Doug Burgum, Wait Who's Doug Burgum? Your Wonkette Debate Preview!
MAGA Goons Vie To Out-Crazy Each Other In Mad Dash To Escape DA Fani Willis
Arkansas Wants To See AP African American Studies Teachers' Papers — All Of Them
Nice Time news, LOL news, and labor 'stews' news, come get your midday Wonkette!
Jessica Tarlov Shuts Her Fox News Colleagues' Mouths For Them, Biden In Maui Edition
Tennessee GOP Sics State Troopers On Sign-Totin', Word-Slingin' Ladies At Gun Violence Meeting
Joe Biden Keeps Fixing Those Crazy Stupid Student Loans!
Here Come All The Trump Losers Surrendering To Fani Willis. Smile For Your Mugshots, MFers!
RNC Knew Trump Would Bone Primary Debates, Did Nothing Anyway
When The Skygirls Made A Union
It's your August Wonkette thank you note OF LOVE!
Flip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, Flip-A-Dee-Ay!
New Biden Campaign Ad Reminds You Dummies 2020 Happened And How He Fixed It
Why Everybody Should Be Chaos Gardening! Tabs, Wed., Aug. 23, 2023
Elon Musk Kills Twitter Some More. It's Your End Of Day News Roundup!
Newsmax Scumbag Greg Kelly Pretty Sure Death Threats To Trump Judges Just 'Life In The Fast Lane'
Trump Lawyer Jenna Ellis May Not Have Money To Pay Her Lawyers, But She Does Have JESUS
Monster Joe Biden Personally Setting Wildfires In Hawaii, At Least According To Reliable GOP
I, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, Bused Migrants To LA During Tropical Storm, Ha Ha Take That Libs.
Elon Musk Hates Headlines, Grrr Argh, Headlines Make Him Angry, Down With Headlines, Booooooo
Trump Fleeing To Mother Russia? It's Your Midday News Roundup!
AZ Gov Loser Kari Lake Insulting Her Way To Another Flawless Loss In Senate Race
Big Surprise: Creep Who Killed Lauri Carleton Over Rainbow Flag Was 'Pro Life' 'Christian' Gay-Hater
Eight Losers Qualify To Sit At Losers' Table At First GOP Debate (There Are No Other Tables)
House Republicans Can't Keep Government Open, Tie Their Own Shoes
Trump Thirsting Out Loud About Fleeing To Russia To Be With Daddy-Mir Vladimir
How A Mystery Poop At A Lesbian Wedding Became A Hit Podcast! Tabs, Tues., Aug. 22, 2023
Abortion Pills In Your Fentanyl? It's Your End Of Day News Roundup!
You Kids' Abortion Pills Not The Same As The Abortion Pills Your Father And I Used To Do
Fine, Let's Talk About Vivek Ramaswamy
Trump Brags About How Much Putin Loves Him. NO RUSSIA! NO RUSSIA!
Tucker In Eastern Europe Spreading Russian Propaganda, Just Like Good Old Days When He Had A Job
WonkTV: Donald Trump Georgia Indictment Deep Dive!
Hurriquake In California? It's Your Midday News Roundup!
Brace Yourselves For Stupidity
Pastor Greg Locke Absolutely DESTROYS Barbie Dreamhouse In Epic Sermon About ... Porn? We Think?
Don't Get Too Excited But GOP Indianapolis Mayor Candidate Not Entirely Terrible
Let's All Pretend To Be Shocked That Trumpers Trust Trump More Than Anyone They Know
So That Hurricane-Like Event They Said Couldn’t Happen In California? It’s Happening.
Why Oregonians Can Now Pump Their Own Gas Like Suckers! Tabs, Mon., Aug. 21, 2023
WonkTV: How Did The Right Get So Wacky? Conservatives Explain!
Bigots Are Literally Killing People Over Pride Flags Now
Wonkette Movie Night: Airplane!
Is AOC A Big Sellout For Saying We Need Better Sunscreen Or Are People Just Sexist AF?
What to Do When You Wake Up Feeling “Off”
My New Batshit Scheme To Prove Massive Election Fraud Is Better Than All My Other Batshit Schemes
Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Maple Rye Old Fashioned!
Hey Maine, You're Our Friday Special State Of Awesomeness!
Kyrsten Sinema Being A Dingbat Again, This Time About Abortion
Dildo Enthusiast James O'Keefe Facing Criminal Investigations, Is Dildo
Missoula, Montana, You Get Your Ass Over Here!
TX AG Ken Paxton Says Voters Loved His Criming, And That Makes It Legal
Oh So Now It's Illegal To Leave Voicemails For Judges? Plus your other midday Wonkettes!
DAR Ladies Choke Themselves Clutching Pearls Over Hypothetical Trans Women Trying To Join Them
DeSantis, Rufo Gutted New College Of Florida, But At Least The Coffee Cups Have Bible Verses Now
Seven Minutes In Heaven We Mean Seven Hundred Years Of Humanist Freethinking, Inquiry And Hope
Indicted Bonkers Weirdo Jeffrey Clark Might Need A Policeman Or Grownup, Hard To Tell
Oh So Now It's Illegal To Leave Voicemails For Judges?
Martha Stewart's Best Hacks For Aspiring Home Chefs! Tabs, Fri., Aug. 18, 2023
Rebecca Let Dok Zoom do the News Email for Aug. 17, Hoo Boy!
Suck It, Ohio Republicans, Come November It's WEED-BORTION TIME!
Rudy Giuliani Angry, Farty And Broke. Shame If Flipping On Trump Was His Only Way Out.
Mark Meadows Pressures Federal Judge To Find 11,780 Reasons To Disappear His Georgia RICO Case
Fifth Circuit Allows Abortion Pill, But Only With Written Consent Of Embryo
Ron DeSantis's FLAWLESS VICTORY, Graciously Ready To Let Disney Stop Suing Him
Can I Retire At 65 With $2.5 Million? Tabs, Thurs., Aug. 17, 2023
Marjorie Taylor Greene Reveals Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Plan To Get Rid Of Marjorie Taylor Greene
Let's Get Our Maui Sh*t Together, Feds
Vile Homophobic Bigot Jenna Ellis Did Good Deed One Time, Please Pay Her Legal Fees
LIVE: Today's White House Press Briefing Probably About Maui
Trump's Busy Court Date Schedule Eating Into His Wall Ketchup Time And Axios Is STRESSED
Trump's Coup Was Never A Victimless Crime
Is America Meaner Now Than When It Lynched People? David Brooks Unsure.
13 Luxury Vacations That Won't Break The Bank! Tabs, Wed., Aug. 16, 2023
It's a LOL LOL LOL LOL world! Your Wonkette news roundup!
Why Trump's Ass Is Grass In Georgia
Good Job, Georgia! Now About The Other Six States These Criminals Tried To Steal ...
Typical Joe Biden, Bragging About 'Bidenomics' While Trump Cries A Lot
Which Trump Idiot's Seething Rage Is Funniest Today, Alina Habba Or Alina Habba?
You Were So Blinded To 'The Blind Side,' You Missed How It Was All A Big White Savior Lie
Montana Senator Will Get These Lousy Climate Change Kids And Their Little Dogs Too!
Hillary Clinton All Oh Hey Rachel, Cool Night For An Interview. Any News?
Imperial Rome Once Banned Pants! Tabs, Tues., Aug. 15, 2023
I couldn't help sending you so many posts today, so here's some more! Email of news for Aug. 14!
Republicans Only Mad At 'Rich Men North Of Richmond' Insofar As They Help The Poor
How About A Nice White House Press Briefing?
RFK Jr. Was For Abortion Ban Before He Was Against It Before He Got Confused Wait Who Are You?
Oregon Republicans Better Get Used To Obstructing Democrats In The Private Sector
A Teeny Tiny Tax On Millionaires Is Funding Universal School Lunches In Mass, Plus Other Good Stuff!
Your GOP Primary Debates Two-Weeks Notice!
Some Guy Losing His Sh*t On Internet, Babbling About Perfect Calls And Whatnot
Could Loser MAGA Senate Candidates Help Democrats Keep Their Majority In 2024?
Kansas Cops Raid Newspaper Office To Avenge Drunk Lady, Alleged Sex Pest Police Chief
Looks Like Trump Might've Committed Some Not-So-Light Election Fraud In Georgia
15 Best Meryl Streep Movies of All Time! Tabs, Mon., Aug. 14, 2023
WonkTV: Can We All Now Agree That Abortion Rights Are Popular?
Illinois Republican Will Suicide By Cop On His Porch If They Come For His Assault Weapons
Wonkette Movie Night: Attack The Block
Hell Yes Reality Television Stars Should Be Unionized
John Bel Edwards Wants Clemency For Everyone On Louisiana's Death Row
Fun PragerU Climate Denial Videos Teach Kids How To Fight Nazi Lies Like Climate Change
This Weekend, We Celebrate Your Real Dad
Wonkette Email Of News For Aug. 11, 2023!
Welcome to Wonkette Vacation Hours, With This Week's Cocktail, Basil Mead Gin And Tonics!
Wait, WTF Just Happened With Hunter Biden?
Ron DeSantis Will Bomb Some Messicans If It Will Get You To Like Him
Yes, Hawaii Fires Related To Climate Change. What Part Of Earth ISN'T Affected By Climate?
WonkTV: Kamala Harris Is Coming For Your Guns!
There Is Such A Thing As A Free Lunch (Now In Massachusetts Schools!)
Wait — Are Abortion Bans Unpopular?
Grubby Rich People F***er Clarence Thomas Even Grubbier Than We Knew
Fox News: New National Monument Must Be Biden Bribery Smoking Gun, Because UKRAINIUM
Mackinaw City, Michigan, CHANGE OF VENUE, Tonight!
Illegally Employed Teen Who Lost Hand In Meat Grinder Awarded Whopping $1143
Thirst Trap Boner Stallion James Comer Thinks Biden White House Spox NOT HOT ENOUGH
Did You Know Real People Write The Dictionary? Tabs, Fri., Aug. 11, 2023
Wonkette Email Of News For Aug. 10, 2023
Matt Gaetz Announces Genius Plan To Protect Daddy Trump
White Supremacists Sue Over Being Outed As White Supremacists
Ron DeSantis Suspend-Fires Another Prosecutor Because *She* Has 'Political Agenda'
LIVE: Here's Your Joe Biden On The First Anniversary Of The PACT Act
If Retailers Cared About Shoplifting, They'd Hire More People And Pay Them More Money
Florida School District Shan't Have Kids Learn Romeo's Boner Songs About Juliet's Demesnes
Matt Walsh Has Thoughts About Hummingbirds. They Are White Supremacist Thoughts.
How Many Indictments Will It Be, DA Fani Willis? MORE THAN A DOZEN? Trump Must Be Terrified.
Here’s Why Everyone’s Suddenly Talking About Folding Chairs This Week
11 Signs Your Teenager May Be A Feral Cat. Tabs, Thurs., Aug. 10, 2023
Wonkette Email Of News For Aug. 9, 2023!
James Comer Drops BOMBSHELL, Says Devil Joe Biden Eats Dinner Sometimes, In Places, With People
Is Trump's Lawyer Previewing Judge Cannon's Plan To Bone The Florida Docs Case?
Idaho Legislators Just Want A Little Look-See At Hospitals' Abortion Records, No Big Whoop
Guess The Upside Of Dumpster Fire DeSantis Campaign Is All The Throat-Slitting Opportunities
How Many Coup Memos Did Trump Need To Overthrow The Republic?
Maybe Chris Sununu Is Not Your Psychic Friend. He's Not Even Your Psychic Frenemy
Ohio Voters Defeat Tricksy GOP Plot To Block Abortion Amendment
Matt Walsh So Scared Wayne Brady's Gonna F**K Him
Looks Like Maybe Florida Will Allow AP Psychology After All. Or Who Knows?
Guess Donald Trump Is Full-On Panicking About Fani Willis Now
The Most Popular Folding Chair In Each State! Tabs, Wed., Aug. 9, 2023
Wonkette Email Of News For Aug. 8, 2023!
Judge Cannon Appears Ready To Pop Off In Trump Docs Case
Fox News Idiots Real Mad That Trump's Obvious Crimes Are Treated Like Crimes
Here's Joe Biden Making The Grand Canyon Even Grander
New Lessons For Florida School Kids: Native Americans Were No Saints, Slavery Much Nicer Than Death
Who Is This Little Boy Saying Mike Pence Will Be Trump’s Star Witness?
It Was All Fun At Kentucky's Fancy Farm Event Until Everyone Booed Mitch McConnell
Fox Columnist: Maybe Aliens Are Demons, Ever Think Of That?
Billion-Dollar 'Barbie' Makes Baby Shapiro Feel Less Than 'Benough'
Mom Sues Southwest After Being Accused Of Trafficking Her Daughter
Wonkette Email Of News For Aug. 7, 2023!
The Right-Wing Women's Soccer Understanders Have Entered The Chat
North Korean News Lady Jesse Watters. That’s It, That’s The Headline.
WonkTV: Hey, Look, Joe Biden Likes Baseball!
Elon Can't Save Super Stans From Getting Fired For Their Tweets, And They Are NOT Going To Like Why
Trump's Lawyers Are Tryin' It With Judge Chutkan In Jan. 6 Case
Does Trump Want To Live In Jail Until His Trial?
Black DA Elected In Augusta Georgia So White County Creates Own Separate, Unequal Judicial Circuit
Why Aren't You Dummies Feeling 'Bidenomics'?
NASCAR Driver Noah Gragson Totals Career After Liking Meme Mocking George Floyd’s Death
Texas Proves Abortion Ban Is About Punishing Women, Not Any Great Love Of Babies
Mike Pence Gets Salty With The MAGA Mob
10 Myths About Slow Cookers You Need To Stop Believing! Tabs, Mon., Aug. 7, 2023
WonkTV: Donald Trump Indictment Special Part III!
Those Cakes We Like… Are Going On An Adventure
Wonkette Movie Night: Spirited Away
Houston's Crackdown On 'Feeding The Poor' Not Going So Well
Anti-Woke Sweetheart's Past As Eugenics-Loving White Nationalist Revealed
Joe Biden Takes On 'Junk Fees' Where You Live, If You Live In An Apartment
This Weekend We Celebrate ... Ourselves!
Wonkette Email Of News For Aug. 4, 2023!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Bar Snack, Candied Angostura Nuts!
Christian Preschool Closes After Greedy Employees Refuse To Pay To Work There
It's A Jobs, Jobs, Jobs, Jobs World!
'Tennessee Three' Members Justin Pearson and Justin Jones Return Triumphant To Tennessee State House
Trump Lawyers Cope And Seethe. Also ... LAPTOP!
Mr. Trump 'Sour And Dejected' Over Judge Calling Him Mr. Trump
When The US Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Exploiting Mexican Labor!
AP Psychology Just Too Gay For Florida Schools
Jim Jordan Says Indictin' Trump Done UPSET THE HILLBILLIES
The Legends Of Lizzie! Tabs, Fri., Aug. 4, 2023
Arraignment Day! Wonkette Email of News For Aug. 3, 2023!
Wisconsin Supreme Court Taken Over By Liberals, So That's Illegal Obviously
Idaho Abortion Laws Don't Get No Respect, I'm Tellin' Ya, No Respect At All
Trump Demands To Be Tried By Jury Of His White Peers, In West Virginia
Is Kelly Ayotte Trying To Become New Hampshire’s Next Top DeSantis?
Tim Scott Is Not An Honorable Man
Texas Gov. Greg Abbott Brings Back Oldie But Goodie: Family Separation At Border
Poor Dumb Eric Doesn't Understand What's Happening To Daddy, Needs Policeman Or Grownup
See Inside A Ghost Town Of Abandoned Mansions In China! Tabs, Thurs., Aug. 3, 2023
And Now Back To Our Regularly Scheduled 'Rudy Giuliani Is A Slobbering Old Pervert'
The Violence Was Part Of The Plan, And The Plan Was To Overthrow The Republic
Trump-Defending Idiots: Free Speech Is Dead. Jack Smith Killed It All.
Minnesota 'Nice' Just Shoving It In All Other Blue States' Faces Now
Ethical Clusterf*ck? In Samuel Alito's Supreme Court???
Ron DeSantis Keeps Walking Into Kamala Harris-Shaped Rake
Republican Also-Running Candidates Know Who Overthrew Government. Yes, It's Hunter Biden.
The Glamorous, Sexist History Of The Women's Restroom Lounge! Tabs, Wed., Aug. 2, 2023
LIVE: Deranged Jack Smith Does Fake Indictment Of Your Favorite President, Trump
Wonkette Email Of News For August 1!
Hey, Let's Talk About How Kamala Harris Whooped Ron DeSantis's Racist Ass!
Is Devon Archer The Hunter Biden Smoking Gun, Or Is James Comer Just Lightin' Farts Again?
Elon Musk Sues Nonprofit For Making Him Break Twitter
North Carolina Dem-Turned-Rep Tricia Cotham Was A Plant All Along
DeSantis Staffers Know There's No 'I' In Making Nazi Ads Or Losing To Trump By 37 Points
Did You Think The Right Actually Cares About Sex Trafficking? Yeah, Here's Andrew Tate!
Why Cyndi Lauper Rocked Hard On The ‘Pee-Wee’s Playhouse’ Theme. Tabs, Tues., Aug. 1, 2023
DA Fani Willis Said The Fun Will Begin In August. Guess What Month Starts Tomorrow, Donald Trump?
Guess Everybody Hates Angry Loser Weenus GOP Congressmen Who Yell At Teenage Senate Pages
Florida Plagued By Leprosy, Academic Brain Drain
Trump Hereby Demands Joe Biden Do Him A Favor Though, Or Ukraine Gets It (Yes, Again)
'New Generations,' Same Old Ideas
Broken Elevator Denies Tammy Duckworth Entrance To Barbie Land
GOP: Mitch McConnell's Just Fine. Did We Mention Joe Biden's Old?
Judge: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Can't Throw All The Librarians In Jail
Ron DeSantis So Disappointed Black Republicans Don't Know How Good Slaves Had It
The Fake Poor Bride! Tabs, Mon., July 31, 2023
WonkTV: Remembering Sinéad O’Connor
A Drag Queen Is Taking Over The Christian And Gospel Charts On ITunes
Ammon Bundy And Friends Fined $52 Million Just For Defending A Parent's Right To Starve Their Kid
Right-Wing Incels Lose Their Shit Over 'Unmarried Concubine' Nancy Mace
When Patton And MacArthur Burned The Bonus Army Veterans' DC Camp Like It Was Atlanta To The Sea
Happy Weekend! Have You Sacrificed Your Cheese Today?
Wonkette Email Of News For Your Friday Afternoon! July 28, 2023
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Old Leviathan #3!
Diaper-Clad Matt Walsh Dolls Either Ironic Or A Cry For Help
Paul Gosar Wants To Make Jesus Go To Rehab, Dems Say No, No, No
Musk Saves QAnon Kiddie Porn Purveyor, Bans Ad Criticizing Republicans
What Does Fox News Have To Say About Trump Trying To Destroy Evidence? LOL
You Like Abortion Rights! You Really, Really Like Abortion Rights!
The Uvalde Candidates Are Here And They're Not Going To Be Quiet
All The Comments On Every Recipe Blog! Tabs, Fri., July 28, 2023
Jack Smith Has New Indictments In His Pocket, Is Also Happy To See Us!
Wonkette Email of News for July 27, 2023!
Angry Little White Guy Wisconsin GOP Rep. Being Very Angry Little White Guy!
Republicans Lie Their Asses Off After Hunter Biden Plea Debacle. Also Before And During.
Is That A Quarter Behind Trump's Ear Or Is It About To Be Indictment-Thirty AGAIN, MFers?
Joe Biden Won't Let Texas Gov Greg Abbott Declare Actual War On Mexico
LIVE: White House Saying Words That Probably Aren't Even 'Hunter Biden'
Joe Biden From The Government And Here To Help, May Ronald Reagan Rot In Hell
Miami-Dade Police Director Shoots Self In Head, So.
Are College Towns Becoming ‘Republican-Killing Death Stars,’ OF VOTES?
Her Name's Not Snow White Supremacist Guys
Your Worst Office Romance Was Never This Bad! Tabs, Thurs., July 27, 2023
Wonkette News July 26, 2023! We've made it so you can stop all the emails!
Ohio Republicans Sure Hope You Sleep Through August 8 Election So Abortion Can Stay Banned Forever
Ron DeSantis Gonna Pivot His Way From Lying About Slavery To Lying About Abortion
New Mexico Governor Quietly Turning State Into Socialist Worker's Paradise
Here A Briefing, There A Briefing, Everywhere A Briefing Briefing
Miami GOP Mayor Francis Suarez Continuing Presidential Run On 'Can't Jail Me' Platform
Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s Hannity Town Hall Probably Sounded Better In The Original Russian
Black Alabama Man Thought He Was Mayor. White Folks Said 'Naaah.'
Texas A&M Professor Suspended For Murderizing Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick With Free Speech
DeSantis Campaign Fired That One Loser With The Nazi Clip-Art, Everything’s Cool Now
You've Been Eating Brie Wrong This Whole Time! Tabs, Wed., July 26, 2023
Nation's UPS Guys, Teamsters WIN, Call Off (Part Of) Hot Strike Summer
Click Here For Fresh Hot White House Press Briefing!
TX AG Ken Paxton's Allies Shower Supporters With Cash, Demand Recusal By His Enemies For 'Bias'
Trump Lawyer Idiot Uncovers Election Interference Conspiracy, It Is Called 'Headlines'
Texas Prison Luxuries: 149-Degree Sauna-Style Rooms, Only The Best $5 Bottles Of Water
Biden So Old, Decrepit, He Wears Sneakers, Eats Dinner At 6-Ish
Why Does Glenn Beck Want His Book Sold In A Store He Is Supposedly Boycotting?
Pickleball Is Tearing Apart This Miami Community! Tabs, Tues., July 25, 2023
Happy 14th Anniversary To The Last Time We Raised The Minimum Wage!
Monday White House Press Briefing, Hooray!
BEN SHAPIRO NOT TRIGGERED BY 'BARBIE' MOVIE, YOU ARE!
Chuck Grassley Swears He's Not Trying To Frame Hunter Biden. He's Trying To Frame The FBI.
How Dare Woke Media Criticize Black KY AG Daniel Cameron’s Hardworking Blackness!
Why Won't The US Women's Soccer Team Properly Serenade Nikki Haley?
Proud Boy Ringleader Tusitala 'Tiny' Toese Headed Directly To 'Big' House
Lucid Dreams And Real Delusions
Church Of Holy Bleach Drinking Headed To Prison
Justice Department Faces Off With Texas: No, You Can't Drown Immigrants For Their Own Safety
No, Ron DeSantis, Black People Didn’t Need Slavery To Learn How To Blacksmith
Bridezilla's Shocking List Of Wedding Demands Leaked, Goes Viral! Tabs, Mon., July 24, 2023
Elon Musk Gonna X Out All The Twitter Birds Or Something
Wonkette Movie Night: Blazing Saddles
Which Pat Benatar Song Does Ted Cruz Think Is The Perfect Jam For Child Murder?
The Very True Story Of A QAnon Guy Who Redpilled His 'Girlfriend' With 'Sound of Freedom'
Ron DeSantis Gonna Sue Bud Light For Not Successfully Fending Off Boycott He Called For
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are A Little Confused TBQH
Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Sekanjabin!
Tony Bennett Didn't Just Leave His Heart In San Francisco, He Left It Everywhere
Watch Your Back, Jack Smith, DA Fani Willis Is Fixing To Beat You To The Indictment Punch
Texas A&M President Fires Self For Letting Angry Bigots Sabotage Hiring Of Black Journalism Prof
Peggy Noonan Searches For Magic On Long Island, Finds Wine Instead
Judge: Accepting Jesus Christ As One's Personal Savior Cannot Be A Condition Of Parole
California Gives Lucky Duckie Foster Kids Free College To Cap Off Lives Of Ease And Privilege
Fake Michigan Elector Can't Run Local Elections, How Sad
Old Handsome Joe Goes To Philadelphia For Infrastructure Year, Bidenomics Speech
I DID NOT SAY THOSE ANTISEMITIC ANTI-VAX THINGS! Says Guy Who Said Those Antisemitic Anti-Vax Things
Trump Rape Case Judge Explains: No, Trump's A Filthy Rapist Actually
Florida Is On Fire. Shame The Governor Is Such A Priggish Dolt
Marjorie Taylor Greene Enters Hunter Biden’s Cock Into Congressional Record
The World's 21 Most Incredible Overwater Bungalows! Tabs, Thurs., July 20, 2023
SCOTUS To Alabama: Redraw Your Racist Maps. Alabama To SCOTUS: F. U.
Marjorie Taylor Greene Made This Kickass Biden Ad, Because She’s Stupid
Universal Just Gonna Union Bust These Shade Trees To Death
LIVE: White House Press Briefings? On Substack?
Jason Aldean's Pro-Lynching Video Pulled From Country Music Television On Account Of 'Pro-Lynching'
Michigan Fake Electors Get Real Indictments, Might Get To Go To Real Prison
House GOP: OK, Climate Change Is 'Real.' Now, Let's Plant Some Trees And Drill Baby Drill.
Is Jack Smith's Subway Order A Machiavellian Power Flex On Donald Trump? CNN Has Time To Fill!
JD Vance Joins Forces With Marjorie Taylor Greene On Trans Genocide Bill
Republicans Upset That Gretchen Whitmer Champions Marxist Concept Of 'Eating.'
The Red Flag Drink That Bartenders Can Spot A Mile Away! Tabs, Wed., July 19, 2023
Joe Biden Used One Weird Trick To Cancel Student Debt For Me And 804,000 Other Americans
Kamala Harris Is Coming For Your Fentanyl
Will Ohio Replace Sherrod Brown In Senate With Some Drooling, Forced Birth MAGA Loser?
Texas Gov. Greg Abbott Ordered Troopers To Push Children Into The River
Donald Trump Hoarding Jewish Artifacts At Mar-a-Lago, And We Don't Mean The Club's Members
In Montana, You Can Stomp A Homeless Man To Death And A Judge Will Let A Neo-Nazi Bail You Out
Harlan Crow Appreciates Clarence Thomas's True Worth, A Hefty Line Item Tax Deduction
Ron DeSantis's Prayers Can Move Hurricanes But They Cannot Move His Poll Numbers
20 Creepy Things That Have Washed Up On Beaches. Tabs, Tues., July 18, 2023
Love Is Dead: Woman Divorces Ghost Husband With Exorcism
DOJ Not Down With Trump Plan To Postpone Trial Indefinitely, Post Classified Ish On Main
Hey, It's Monday! Time For Your White House Press Briefing!
Trump Wants To Seize America And Make Himself Dictator. He's Not Being Subtle About It.
You Don't Have To Boycott Your TV To Support SAG!
QAnon People Now Worried That 'Sound Of Freedom' Is Actually A Masonic 'Psyop'
Republicans: F*ck You For Your Service
Seattle Times Columnist Loses Job In Time It Takes To Tweet Sweet Nothings About Hitler
Lord Help Us All, Marjorie Taylor Greene Is Video Vixen Now
Cornel West Thinks We Should Roll Over For Putin, Enjoy Peace For Our Time
Ron DeSantis Just Looking For A Few Good Fascists For His Imperial Army
WonkTV: General Strike Edition!
Keep Ohio Republicans (And All Republicans) Out Of Your Bedroom!
Wonkette Movie Night: Do The Right Thing
Florida GOP Hopeful Feels Personally Attacked By Rainbows
RFK Jr. Leaning Even Harder Into The Anti-Semitic Conspiracy Theories
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Exciting And New!
Wonkette Will Never Give You A Plain Cheese Sandwich
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Ankle Breaker!
We're Still Charging New Jan 6 Treason Dipsh*ts? It's Like Cleaning Out That One Junk Drawer!
Let's Watch This Absurdly Handsome UPS Driver Explain The Upcoming Strike
Rules for Commenting Radicals!
Georgia Sues 'True The Vote' Election Deniers For Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is, A-holes
Tyrant Gavin Newsom To Force Harvey Milk Down Wingnut School District's Throats
Nancy Mace Thirsts For A Different GOP, Legislative Moderation, Human Blood
But How Is Ronald Reagan To Blame For Actors Strike? We're Glad You Asked!
New Maine Law Wicked Smaht, Will Save Trans Teens' Lives, Ayuh
Did Melania Get Paid $155,000 To Put On Some Damn Pants And Walk Downstairs At Her Own House?
Some Asshole Michigan Salon Owner Wants To Be World-Famous For Being Bigot
Scam Alert: A Fake Fodor’s Travel Is Bilking People Out of Thousands! Tabs, Fri., July 14, 2023
Jon McNaughton Improves History, Has Trump, Tucker, Alex Jones Founding America
How Much Weird Kremlin Propaganda Can You Get On The TV Now That Tucker's Gone?
US-Mexico Border Quiet. A Little TOO Quiet.
Fox News Still Suffering Tucker Hangover As Ray Epps — Who Is NOT A Fed — Sues For Defamation
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Pal Brings Cavernous Farts To A Climate Change Fight
The Right Spent 50 Years Rigging The Courts. It's Not Too Late To Fight Back.
Here's Bobble-Headed Peen Weenus Matt Gaetz Screaming At Christopher Wray Like A Lunatic
Nothing To See Here, Just Joe Manchin Warming Up His Back-Stabbin' Arm
Florida ... Malaria ... FLALARIA!
How Is Fox News Outright Lying About Fake 'Hunter Biden' Whistleblowers Today?
Black Female Atlanta State Rep Leaves 'Democrat Party' For Georgia GOP. Was Nice Knowing Her!
Inflation Lowest In Two Years, Probably Bad News For Biden
LIVE: Joe Biden Talking About Ukraine, So That'll Piss The Traitors Off
If You Took Away White MAGA Dudes' Masculine Insecurities, They'd Have Nothing Left
It's Wednesday, So House GOP Idiots Set To Screw Up More Important Legislation
Red States Simplify Matters, Burn Down All The Libraries
GOP Candidates Will Definitely Criticize Trump Once They're Already President, Maybe
Give Us This Day Our Daily TUBS! Moron Finally Spits Out Words 'White Nationalists Are Racists'
Hey, That Guy From The TV Is Running For Senate! This Is Sure To Work Out.
What The Hell Is Grimace, McDonald's Beloved Purple Blob? Tabs, Wed., July 12, 2023
Red State Attorneys Genital Threaten Target, Demand It Stop Being So Obscenely Gay
MyPillow Guy Forced To Sell His Pillow-Making Implements From His Pillow-Making Workshoppe!
Here's How Much The Ron DeSantis Campaign Is Sucking Today
ARE YOU OK, MICHIGAN GOP? DO YOU NEED A POLICEMAN OR A GROWNUP?
Trump Would Like To Have Classified Docs Trial After Election Or Never, If That's More Convenient?
So, This Is What The End Of The World Looks Like, Right?
Michael Knowles: Condoms Definitely Unconstitutional, Probably Gay
Which Senator Is Complete Dumbass Who Can't Stop Defending White Nationalists? IT'S TUBS!
Ken And Barbie Were Originally Siblings And 40 Other Fun Barbie Facts. Tabs, Tues., July 11, 2023
Joe Rogan Cannot Figure Out Why YouTube Pulled Video Of Roseanne Saying Six Million Jews Should Die
PSA: It's Still Bad When Bad People Are Assaulted In Prison
Oklahoma Superintendent Can't Believe Media 'Twisted His Words' By Directly Quoting Him
Elon Musk Would Like To Measure Mark Zuckerberg's Penis, Literally
NYC Mayor Eric Adams Keeps Living Down To Our Expectations
Idaho To Ignore Maternal Mortality Rates Until They Go Away
Ron DeSantis Can’t Make Us Forget Catherine Burks-Brooks Or The Forces She Fought
Jonah Hill Really Weaponized Therapy Jargon Against Ex-Girlfriend
Why Is Joe Biden So Damn Lazy, Old, Possibly Deceased?
9 Garden Trends To Try In Your Back Yard This Year! Tabs, Mon., July 10, 2023
WonkTV: Goodbye Twitter, Hello Threads ... Or Really Anything Without The Scent Of Musk
Wonkette Movie Night: Bedazzled (1967)
QAnon Idiots Cry That Everyone Who Doesn't Like Their Favorite Movie Is A 'Pedo'
Fox Hosts Tell Us They've Never Worked Retail Without Telling Us They've Never Worked Retail
Hey Hey RFK, You're Hanging Out With Yet Another Hitler Apologist Today
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are The Devil, Probably
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Mumbai Fizz!
Happy 77th Anniversary, Jimmy And Rosalynn Carter
Did Hunter Biden's Laptop Snort Cocaine At The White House? James Comer Is Just Asking!
Here Goes JFK Jr. Faking His Death Again
Does Secretary Mayor Pete Dream Of Electric Ships?
The Time Mother Jones (The Woman) Sent Maimed Children To Shame Teddy Roosevelt
Joe Biden's Nightmare Economy Keeps Adding Jobs, But What About Inflation? Oh, It's Down Too.
Marjorie Taylor Greene Too F***-Headed For House Freedom Caucus, LOL LOL LOL
Oklahoma Schools Superintendent Wishes We Could Keep 'Race' Out Of Tulsa Race Massacre
Florida Schools Now Protecting Kids From Smut Like Sexy, Sexy 'Paradise Lost'
Elon Musk Gonna Sue Meta For Aggravated Stole His Idea For 'What About Words On Internet?'
14 People Having Sex With Celebs! Tabs, Fri., July 7, 2023
Wingnuts Plan Own Awards Show, Nominate Song Mocking Them
Ron DeSantis About To Lose The 'Ladies On Alimony' Vote
Vietnam Bans Barbie Movie, Because 'Map'
How Can Michigan Prosecutors Work If The Poor Are Adequately Defended?
Kari Lake Doesn't Have To Go Home, But She Can't Stay At Mar-a-Lago
Looks Like House GOP Dummies Gonna Censure Adam Schiff To The Senate!
A Wonkette Change ... Is Gonna Come
Daniel Cameron Wants To Beat Stuffing Out Of This Strawman Andy Beshear He Made!
Trump Pretty Sure White House Coke Is Joe And Hunter's Personal Stash, Also Jack Smith's Probably
Top 5 States To Be Transgender In 2023! Tabs, Thurs., July 6, 2023
Joe Biden Stands Up For Teachers, Says Book Banners Can Go Jump In Lake
It's Not That Donald Trump Jr. Did Crotchbangs In A Gay Club Bathroom, It's The Hypocrisy
RNC Flunks US Flag Recognition Test, So Let's Talk About Liberia!
LIVE: Press Sec Is Back At Work So Guess We All Gotta Watch It
Now Civil Rights Groups Are Suing Harvard About Its Dumb Idiot Mediocre White Legacies
Trump Judge Tells Government To Shut Its Mouth Or He'll Shut It For 'Em
Tim Scott Gonna Ban All The Abortions Once He's Never President
Weirdo Ken Cuccinelli Thinks DeSantis Anti-LGBTQ+ Gladiator Boner Ad Very Normal And Very Cool
Cocaine Found In West Wing, No, The Real One
55 Weird Gadgets That Help People Over 55 Years Old! Tabs, Wed., July 5, 2023
This July 4, The World Still Only Spins Forward
How 1980s Movies Might’ve Poisoned Americans On Affirmative Action
Secretary Mayor Pete Just Saying DeSantis's Anti-Trump Ad Kiiiiiiiind Of ... You Know.
GOP Celebrates ‘Freedom’ By Cheering Blowing Some Of It Up!
Trump Brings His Hot, Steaming BS To Pickens, SC
7 Pantry Mistakes You're Probably Making! Tabs, Mon., July 3, 2023
WonkTV: SCOTUS Hell Week Retrospective (And Pre-Independence Day Spectacular)
Those Cakes We Like … Have Georgia On Their Mind
Wonkette Movie Night: Big Trouble In Little China
Was Madonna's Bacterial Illness A Vax Side Effect Or Is it ... ADRENOCHROME?!?
Here's Joe Biden's Student Debt Forgiveness Backup Plan ... And His Other Debt Relief Plans, Too!
Ron DeSantis Is A Proud Cannibal /Lizard Person
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Will Steal Your Heart And Your Cat
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Sangria!
Joe Biden's Here With A Few Choice Words About The Supreme Court's Student Debt Decision
I, John Roberts, Swear To The American People That We Do Not Hate Them
Supreme Court Uses Imaginary Gay Guy To Legalize Anti-LGBTQ Discrimination
Supreme Court: You Owe Your Soul To The Student Debt Store
Hello! I, Vladimir Putin, Do Not Understand Your American 'Laws'
Parkland School Cop's Acquittal Reminds Us: Police Have No Actual Obligation To Protect You
That Time Ann Coulter's Dad Busted The Copper Miners' Union
The Ideas That Motivate Hate Crimes Are Just Normal Now
Ohio Speaker Larry Householder? With 20-Year Sentence For Bribery, More Like Larry BIG HOUSEholder
Joe Biden Left MSNBC Nicolle Wallace Interview When It Was Over, And Fox News Is ON IT
34 Pineapple Recipes For Your Summer Bucket List! Tabs, Fri., June 30, 2023
Trump Maybe About To Get 30 Or 45 Bonus Indictments For Being Suuuuuuuch A Good Criminal
Conservatives Thrilled By Prospect Of Fewer Black Kids Going To College
Supreme Court Strikes Down Affirmative Action For Everyone But Rich White People
Newsmax Idiot Says Trump Couldn't Have Done Crimes, He Was Drinking Diet Coke At The Time!
RFK Jr. Is Great At Making Conspiracy Sound Like Common Sense
Funny How Those Trans Bans Keep Getting Knocked Down In Federal Court
Is The Water Making Boys Cry And Turning Frogs Transgender? Fox News Discusses!
Oh FFS, That Idiot Was Still Demanding 'My Documents' Back LAST MONTH
32 Summer Makeup Looks To Wear All Season Long! Tabs, Thurs., June 29, 2023
Trump Wanted Him Executed. He's Going To New York City Council And Trump's Going To Jail.
Joe Biden In Chicago Like Common Obama To Brag On 'Bidenomics,' Damn Straight!
Trump Thiiiiis Close To Shrieking 'IT WAS A PERFECT TAPE!'
Ron DeSantis Says No To $5 Million To KILL YOUR GAS STOVE, Loses $346 Million More
Tyrant Joe Biden Being Loving Father In Public And New York Times Is ON IT
6 Cleaning Tips From Professional Hotel Cleaners! Tabs, Wed., June 28, 2023
Pizza Canceled, Has To Go To Rainbow Bridge With Gas Stoves And Farting Cows
Supreme Court Decides 'Democracy' Can Stay, For Now
Why Is Roseanne Trending Today?
There Is A Substitute Teacher For Today's White House Press Briefing
Another Judge, Another Drag Ban BOUNCED, You Unconstitutional Bastards!
Samuel Alito's Wife Not Exactly Above Suspicion In Oil Lease Deal
Jesse Watters Says Obama Too African To Understand Which Ocean Disasters Real Americans Care About
If Ron DeSantis Believes His Own Bullsh*t, He's Gonna Have To Self-Deport
Tapes! Tapes! Come Get Your Lordy There Are MFin' Trump Tapes!
Joanna Gaines Just Revealed The Cutest Home Makeover! Tabs, Tues., June 27, 2023
Greg Abbott Praises Good Texans Of 'Hambriston' For Teaching Woke Garth Brooks A Lesson
Charter School Fails To Convince SCOTUS That Girls Are 'Fragile Vessels' Who Must Wear Skirts
We've Got A Case Of The Monday White House Press Briefings!
Fox News Finds One Dude In Building Creepy Enough To Stick In Tucker's Slot
It's The 2024 Republican Primary, And Everyone's A Loser!
New York Is (Hopefully) About To Make It Easier To Get Innocent People Out Of Prison
Russia Totally Fine, Just Got Super F*cked Up Saturday Night And Needs Extra Day To Recover
Lance Armstrong Would Like To Have A Chat About Fairness In Sports
OK, Which One Of You Is Spying On Marjorie Taylor Greene Through Her TV?
31 Photos That Show How Old People Used To Look! Tabs, Mon., June 26, 2023
Wonk TV: A Very Different Kind Of Retail Therapy
Trump Promises To Protect His Followers From Foreign Commies Who Hate America
'Fashion Influencers' Go On SHEIN Sponsored Trip To Fake Factory, Report Everything Great
So It Seems Like There's A Coup Happening In Russia?
Wonkette Book Club Part 6: A Future Up In The Air
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Will Go On And On
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Summer Spritz!
Charges Hunter Biden Coddled By IRS Contradicted By All The Evidence. Darn!
Anti-Abortion Terrorist Thinks Dobbs Ruling Should Set Him Free
Elise Stefanik And Margie Greene Team Up To Unimpeach Trump, F*ck It, Why Not
Super Idiot Trump Lawyer John Eastman Gonna Get Disbarred For Sucking
How Is A Sub Imploding Joe Biden's Fault? Wingnuts Have Some Ideas!
Georgia Teacher Sh*tcanned For Reading Picture Book About Getting Along With Each Other
Michigan Dems Make It Easier For Hungry People To Get Food
Tennessee AG Just Needs Trans Kids' Medical Records To Fight, Umm, 'Billing Fraud,' Yeah That's It
PA Gov. Josh Shapiro Gonna Reopen I-95, With A Little Help From NASCAR Track
John Durham Gets Spanked By Adam Schiff And Matt Gaetz, If That's Your Kink
Elon Musk Desperately Wants Transphobia To Be 'Woke'
FBI Agent Sentenced To Prison For Hoarding Classified Documents Like A Common Donald Trump
The Trans Bans Keep Getting Sh*tcanned In Court!
Boebert And Greene Enter The Octagon, Yell At Each Other, Leave
Mike Lee, Gun Owners Of America Suddenly Care About Black Woman For Some Reason (Hunter Biden)
New York Post: Lost Titanic Submersible Too Woke To Float
A Psychic Gave Me Relationship Advice That My Friends Couldn't! Tabs, Thurs., June 22, 2023
Decent Hard-Working Perverts Sue To Block Dumb New Louisiana Anti-Porn Law
The Day They Killed The 'Thug' Molly Maguires
RFK Jr. To Speak At 'Moms For Liberty' Confab, So That's What RFK Jr. Is Up To (Jesus Christ)
Sam Alito Not Only Luxury Fishing Vacation Whore To Ever Serve On Supreme Court
Trump Explains How He Will Eliminate Crime Via Killing Spree
Donald Trump Support Slipping After Indictment, But MAGAs Still Love Their Saviour
Sam Alito Is Just Humble Fisherman Drinking $1,000 Bottles Of Wine Served By Billionaires
Montana Climate Trial (You Know, For Kids!) Wraps Up After State's 'Expert' Witnesses Evaporate
Sure, The Child-Marrying Was CREEPYWRONGBAD, But We Think 'Pro-Life' Did VA Dem Joe Morrissey In
House GOP Already Putting Banana In Debt Ceiling Deal Tailpipe
What The Instant Pot Bankruptcy Means For Superfans! Tabs, Wed., June 21, 2023
Trump Judge Tosses Indiana Anti- Trans Law Because STOP PICKING ON KIDS GODDAMMIT
WonkTV: Joe Biden Welcomes Our AI Overlords
WonkTV: Dr. Jill Biden Knows What SCOTUS Did Last Summer
Man Sues NC House Speaker For Grand Theft Sexy Times With His Wife
Donald Trump Charms And Delights America In Bret Baier Interview
Judge Cannon Sets Aug. 14 Trial Date For Trump, Cackles And Cracks Knuckles
Wannabe Dictator Joe Biden Sentences Own Son To Two Years Probation
DOJ Report Confirms Minneapolis PD Full Of Derek Chauvinists
Hey, Did Actual POTUS Barack Obama Hurt Wannabe Tim Scott's Feelings? Good!
Joe Rogan Challenges Actual Medical Expert To Crazy Talk Contest With Robert Kennedy Jr.
Here's What Older 'Ripped' Guys Are Doing! Tabs, Tues., June 20, 2023
Happy Juneteenth, Y’all! ‘Stop! Look! And Sing Songs of Revolutions!’
WonkTV: Jasmine Joshua Would Like, If They May, To Take You On A Theatrical Journey
WonkTV: Juneteenth Father’s Day Extravaganza!
Greg Abbott Pretty Sure Texas Construction Workers Can Go Without Water
College Board Refuses To Design AP Class Around Ron DeSantis' Wants And Needs
Pride Night At Dodgers' Stadium A Hit Despite Right Wing Lunacy Over Nice Queer Nuns
Florida Sheriff Tells Nazis To Get F*cked
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Here, Dammit.
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Tequila Sunrise!
Wonkette Book Club Part 5: The Everything Feeling And An Earthquake In The Head
UPS Workers Will Deliver A Strike Next Month If Company Won't Give Them A Good Deal
Republican Party Will Not Be Tricked Into 'Standards' By Some Dork Polling At One Percent, TYVM
Florida To Ban AP Psychology Classes Because They Teach About The Gays
Repro Rights Roundup: Magically Disappearing Abortions, Fake Clinics, And 'Free Speech'
For Some Reason, House Republicans Don't Want Kids To Have Free School Lunches
Don't Cry For Andrew Lloyd Webber, 'Wokeness' Is Not His Problem
Wow, Christian Hate Groups STILL Mad At Ted Cruz For Lightly Suggesting Uganda Shouldn't Murder Gays
Supreme Court Upholds Tribal Adoption Rights, What Horror Is This Leading Up To?
'Food For Everyone!' Says Indicted Deadbeat. DON'T CLICK IF DON'T WANT SPOILERS.
35 Chic Walk-In Closet Ideas! Tabs, Fri., June 16, 2023
2024 GOP Primary To Be Decided By Which Governor Sends Most Asylum-Seekers To Blue States
PSA: It Is In Fact Still Illegal To Firebomb Abortion Clinics, And You Will Go To Jail
Utah Republicans Indignant Bible Banned For Same Reasons They Want To Ban Other Books
New York Grand Jury Indicts Subway Strangler In Chokehold Killing Of Jordan Neely
We've Reached The 'Fox News Accuses White House Of Flying Pedophile Flag' Phase Of Trump News Cycle
Southern Baptists Solve Shrinking Membership By Reminding Girls They Aren't Allowed
Joe Biden Just Killing Inflation, Unemployment, Which Makes Republicans :(
House GOP Idiots Finally Back To Work And We're Really Just Thrilled
Miami Mayor You Just Heard Of Ducks Possible Indictment With Cool Presidential Run
Melania Not Necessarily 'Sad' Husband Maybe Going Away Forever Until He Dies
This Once Industrial Baltimore Loft Has Been Gloriously Transformed! Tabs, Thurs., June 15, 2023
Tyrant Joe Biden Demands Americans Bow Before Pagan Rural Broadband And Demon Heat Pumps
Texas AG Ken Paxton Having *Slightly* Better Week Than Trump
Big Hairy Tough Guy JD Vance Is The Man Who Will Fight For Trump's Honor
America's Crimiest Crime Lord Karine Jean-Pierre Does Press Briefing, Crimily!
5 Out Of 5 Dentists Agree Biden's Root Canal Better Than Being Arraigned On Espionage Charges
Jolly Old Trump Celebrates 77th Birthday At Bedminster. Will This Be His Last Free One?
Trump Guy Knows Who Real Ethics Criminal Is, It Is Karine Jean-Pierre!
Did You Know Hillary Clinton's Emails Weren't Even Illegal?
You Can't Lock Up Donald Trump, 'DICTATOR JOE,' He Is Not Hillary Clinton
Buncha Idiots Went To Miami To Wave Pig Heads On Sticks, And Wonkette Was There!
Joe Biden Forced Me Go To Target And I Think My Barbecue Sauce Is Transgender
Search For Accommodations In Tulum! Tabs, Wed., June 14, 2023
Trump Executed By Deep State, But Don't Worry He Got Better
Plucky Kids Sue Montana Over Climate Policies, THIS WHOLE COURT'S OUT OF ORDER!
Denée Benton Called Ron DeSantis A 'Grand Wizard' At The Tonys, Because Of How That's What He Is
Is Tommy Tuberville's Reaction To Trump Indictment The Stupidest One, Or Does He Have Competition?
What Is This 'Socks Case' The Wingers Keep Yelling About?
Last White House Briefing Before J'Accuse!
Will Trump's Arraignment In Miami 'Be Wild'?
Reckon These GOP Senators Wouldn't Hate It If Trump Went To Jail And Shutted Up His Mouth Forever
Is The Pride Flag Dividing The US Or Are Conservatives Just Awful, Hateful Human Beings?
Garth Brooks Being Woke, Stinky And Christlike, Says NO ASSHOLES ALLOWED
Benny Hill Star Boris Johnson Buggers Off Before Parliament Can Sack Him In The Fanny
At 'Mrs. Doubtfire' House, Police Doubt Fire Was Accidental. Tabs, Tues., June 13, 2023
Charlie Kirk Tells Fan Who Wants To Be Surgeon To Consider Getting Pregnant And Making Sammiches
I Don't Think Kevin McCarthy Knows How Bathroom Doors Work
Fox News Hereby Demands Tucker Quit Doing Hee-Haw She-Shed Twitter Show, So Them's Still A-Fightin'
LIVE: White House Puts Trump In Prison, Or Does Today's Press Briefing, One Of The Two
Marjorie Taylor Greene Knows Devil Just Jealous Of How Women Are Hot And Can Get Pregnant
Colorado Democrats Won't Ban Any Drag Shows But Will Expand Your Child Tax Credits
Is Gavin Newsom Going To Force Women To Have Babies For Gay Men? (Of F**king Course Not)
SCOTUS Upheld Voting Rights Act, Conveniently After Gift-Wrapping GOP Shiny New House Majority
'Woke Military' Won't Keep Ron DeSantis, Mike Pence From Loving On Racist Traitors, Living Or Dead
Is The Two-Kitchen Trend Two Too Many? Tabs, Mon., June 12, 2023
WonkTV: Donald Trump Indictment Special!
Of Course A Bunch Of Pro-DeSantis Neo-Nazis Are Protesting In Front Of Disney
Wonkette Movie Night: Caddyshack
Why Don't Brands Get That Straight White Cis Men Are The Center Of The Universe?
The Right Is Having A Real Normal One Over Trump's Unsealed Indictment
Wonkette Book Club Part 4: Climate Dreams And Flying Machines
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Raising The Deb
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Jet Pilot!
WHAR BOXES? On A Bed On The Floor On A Towel By The Door ...
Nutter Congressman Clay Higgins Calls For Armed Revolution, Shrimp Po' Boy, Tums
FOX's Jesse Watters Uncovers Evil Biden Plot To Turn Voters Democratic By Educating Them
Trump Confessing To MORE Crimes? It's Your Indictmentpallooza Roundup!
Oh My God, They've Killed Cracker Barrel!
Forced Birthers Just Want To Annoy You In Person, Is That So Wrong?
Time To Feed The Wonkette Baby
Florida Republicans Want To Have Their Anti-Immigrant Bill And Eat Their Oranges, Too
Gavin Newsom Gonna Constitution All The Guns Away
Would You Buy A $2500 Dog Bed? Tabs, Fri., June 9, 2023
Hush Hush, Keep It Down Now, Voices Carry MOTHERFUCKER GONNA GO TO JAIL Y'ALL
Fox News Not Amused By Tucker's 'Live From The Unabomber's She-Shed' Twitter Show
Fox News Says Four Out Of Five Doctors Prefer Mellow Taste Of Wildfire Smoke
Rightwing Supreme Court Crazies ... Uphold What's Left Of Voting Rights Act? Wait, Really?
LIVE: Biden And British PM Answer Questions Like Why Is Air Orange? And What Does God Smell Like?
'Shiny Happy People' Shows Who's Grooming Who
God Strikes Down Pat Robertson For What He Said About Gays, Hurricanes, 9/11, Haiti, Orphans ...
James Comer Weren't Never Gonna Hold Chris Wray In Contempt, Y'all, He Was Just Funnin'!
Matt Gaetz And Lauren Boebert Send Congress Home For Unscheduled Vacation
Marco Rubio Would Like To Remind You Of Time Chris Christie Curb-Stomped Him
Trump Indictment Threat Level At All-Time High, Everybody Grab Your Prayer Partner!
Drinking Coffee First Thing In The Morning Does This To Your Body! Tabs, Thurs., June 8, 2023
Chris Christie Lays Into Trump Like The Guy Gave Him COVID Or Something
California To Do Socialism On Electric Bills To Spur Clean Power Transition. 'Yes! YES!' Say Sickos.
CNN's Chris Licht Lights Himself On Fire
Would Mark Meadows Go To Prison For Trump Or LOL Probably Not? Your Jack Smith Investigation Update!
LIVE: Some Dumb Bullsh*t Border Hearing So Marge Taylor Greene Can Get Her Impeachment, For A Treat!
LIVE: Is This Tucker Carlson's Yak Herder? And Other Important Questions For The White House!
Not Sure Who's Worse, White Florida Murderess Or This Dipsh*t Sheriff
Rep. Becca Balint Models Best Practices For Talking To Fascist Anti-LGBTQ+ Scumbags
Kyrsten Sinema, Staunch Champion Of Abortion Rights, Except For All The Ways She's Not!
House Republican Debt-Ceiling Bill Revenge, A Dish Best Served Stupid
The Worst Tourist Traps In America, Ranked! Tabs, Wed., June 7, 2023
RFK Jr. And Elon Musk: Two Great Dicks That Taste Like Sh*t!
Live From The White House, It's Time For The Daily Briefing!
NH Gov Chris Sununu Will STOP TRUMP By Not Running Against Trump
Gavin Newsom, Not Recognizing Hilarious Trolling, Calls DeSantis Migrant Flights 'Kidnapping'
We Secretly Replaced This GOP Rep's Bible With 'X-Files' DVD Box Set! Here's What Happened.
Sorry, Officer, I Spilled 'Swimming Pool' On The Evidence
Please Explain The Scientific Nature Of The Whammy. Tabs, Tues., June 6, 2023
Nikki Haley Going To Hell. Hope Sixth Place In The Republican Primary Is Worth It.
Robert Kennedy Jr Keeps Dreaming Up New Ways To Disgrace Family Name
Crime Guy's Lawyers Go To Justice Department To Say Hey, Don't Charge Crime Guy With Crimes
Is The White House Press Briefing In This Post? It Is A Secret!
Houseboat Joe Wants To Be White House Joe
MIA Oregon Senate Republicans Won't Return To Work Even If It Costs Them Their Jobs
Rachel Campos-Duffy Thinks God Wants A Sacrifice, And It Is This Planet!
Hero Utah Parent Bans Bible. For The Children!
11-Year-Old Kid Still Traumatized Just Because Cop Shot Him In Chest
Who Kim's Mystery Man 'Fred' Could Turn Out To Be! Tabs, Mon., June 5, 2023
WonkTV: Democratic Debates And The Lord's Chicken!
Those Cakes We Like … Are Just Chilling Over Here
Wonkette Movie Night: Bend It Like Beckham
Letting People Starve Just The Christian Thing To Do
TPUSA Lady Heartbroken That 'The Lord's Chicken' Is Now 'Woke Chicken'
Kari Lake Takes Break From Losing AZ Election Over And Over To Record Crappy Protest Music
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are A Little Scandalous
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Gin-Gin Mule!
Wonkette Book Club Part 3: Hot And Cold Running Crises
How Is This Terrific May Jobs Report Bad News For Joe Biden?
Has The Texas GOP Finally Had Enough Of AG Ken Paxton's Criming?
Look At These Butt-Heads Voting To Roll Back Student Debt Relief! What A Bunch Of Butt-Heads!
Rage Against The Machine Loves Fascists, Says Guy Who Has Never Listened To Rage Against The Machine
What? Twitter Had A Head Of Trust And Safety?
Huzzay! Debt Ceiling Raised, Catastrophe Averted, Republicans And Joe Manchin :(
Mississippi MAGA Pastor Idiot Teaches Target Economic Bible Facts About The LBGTQSers!
Good Luck Running For President, Mike Pence! Go Eat A Bag Of F*cks, Mike Pence!
End Global Warming With This One Weird Trick! Tabs, Friday, June 2, 2023
No Need To Boycott Chick-Fil-A Unless They Start Selling 'Tuck Swimsuits,' Says Deranged Weirdo
We Can Now Refer To Danny Masterson As A Rapist In This Headline
Has James Comer Just Been Begging FBI To Let Him Sniff Rudy's Russian Spy Farts This Whole Time?
Tim Kaine Lookin' To Yank Joe Manchin's Frackin' Pipeline Right Out Of The Debt Ceiling Bill
Is The Texas GOP Finally Going To Take Out The Ken Paxton Trash?
Atlanta Police Now Arresting People For Paying Bail
LIVE: Joe Biden Tells Graduates The Seven Habits Of Highly Malarkey-Free People
Hey, Puerto Rico, Way To Go With All The Solar!
Is It Bad If Prosecutors Have Tape Of Trump Bragging About Classified Doc He Stole?
Voters Prefer House Democrats To Cackling Hyena Bandits Posing As Republicans
America's Long National Debt Ceiling Nightmare Finally Over
Inside The Barbie Dreamhouse, A Fuchsia Fantasy Inspired By Palm Springs! Tabs, Thurs., June 1, 2023
Oklahoma GOP Sen. Markwayne Mullin Is A Very Stupid Man
World Famous Actor 'Dawson Creek' Very Angry At DNC For Some Reason!
Trump-Backed Nevada Gov. Joe Lombardo Does Right Thing On Abortion Like Almost Normal Person
Tommy Tuberville Simply Can't Stop F*cking That Racism Chicken
You Have Won A Daily White House Press Briefing!
Like A Good Neighbor, State Farm Worries Your House In California Will Burn To Cinders
Trump Calling Kayleigh McEnany 'Milktoast' Because Sure, That's How That's Spelled
House Freedom Idiots Gon' Frag Speaker Kevin McCarthy? Maaaybe!
Nancy Mace So Mad Republicans Were Foiled Yet Again By Senile, Pantsless Joe Biden
How To Clean Your Emeralds! Tabs, Wed., May 31, 2023
What's This About Chick-Fil-A Boycotts And Jizz In The Frosted Lemonade Now?
AI CEOs Fret About Danger Of AI, Still Refuse To Open Pod Bay Doors
Greenville, South Carolina, Makes Juneteenth Safe For White People
Live From The White House, It's The Press Briefing!
Oh Fiddlesticks, Lindsey Graham Has Gone And Upset The Russians
Oh No, National Review Discovered Dems' Fiendish Plan To Keep Planet Habitable!
Knives Out In Trumpland As Lawyers Find Representing Serial Con Man Has Its Perils
Ted Cruz Says Uganda Shouldn't Kill Gays, And Christian Extremist MAGAs Are SO MAD (At Him)
Trump, DeSantis Commemorate Memorial Day With Fascist Vow To Exterminate Their Enemies
Kevin McCarthy Agrees To Lift Debt Ceiling In Exchange For Biden Letting Him Paint White House Fence
Jupiter’s Retinue Now 79 Moons, Including This Wrong-Way Oddball! Tabs, Tues., May 30, 2023
Memorial Day 2023: The Secret Ingredient Is Sun-Dried Tomatoes
WonkTV: Tina Turner Memorial Day Special!
Black Ariel Makes Box Office Splash In Disney’s Live-Action 'Little Mermaid’
Wonkette Movie Night: The Blues Brothers
Biden Vowed To Fight Anti-Semitism And Lauren Boebert Is Taking It Real Personal
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Simply The Best
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Original Mai Tai!
Wonkette Book Club Part 2: Hope To Do Some Good, No Matter How F*cked Up You Are
Candace Owens Confuses Kardashian Surrogacy With Plot Of 'The Omen'
You Plugged Your Ford Into My Tesla Charger! You Got A Tesla Plug In My Ford!
Texas Republicans Move To Impeach Corrupt Sumbitch Texas AG Ken Paxton If You Can Even Believe That!
Wouldn't It Be Nice For Republicans If We Shut Up About Abortion Already?
Louisiana Republican Considers Medical Evidence, Nixes Anti-Trans Bill. No, Really!
ChatGPT Writes Stunningly Awful Megan McArdle Column ... Wait, No, It's The Real Megan McArdle
Today In Labor History: Calvin Coolidge Screws Immigrants
GOP Rep. Glenn Grothman Knows Who Biden Oppressing, It Is White Man Judges Who Make Sex To Women
The 20 Most Useless Kitchen Appliances, Ranked In Order! Tabs, Fri., May 26, 2023
Oath Keeper Stewart Rhodes Will Have 18 Years To Contemplate Kafka
E. Jean Carroll About To Get Another Chance To Grab Trump By The ... Wallet
Welcome To The Fox News Sexual Charisma Hour, Starring Rob Meatball And Trey Gowdy
Give This Hero Target Employee A Whopping Raise And Reserved Parking Please
Here's That White House Presser You Asked For, Is This What You Wanted?
Should It Be *Legal* To Frame Someone For A Crime He Did Not Commit?
Oh No, '70s Feminism Is Back To Change Spelling Of 'Women' And Enforce Universal Pantsuit-Wearing
Nikki Haley Mean Girls That Nice Bud Light Trans Lady Dylan Mulvaney, For Votes
Ron DeSantis Put On A Sh*tshow, And Elon Musk Helped!
This Italian Royal Lives Inside The Ultimate Retro Fantasy! Tabs, Thurs., May 25, 2023
Two Horrible People To Do Twitter Thing Tonight So One Of Them Can Not Be President, Don't Miss THAT
Republicans Giddy And Full Of Glee About Their Debt Ceiling 'Hostage' (America)
Florida School District Will Protect Little Kids From Joe Biden's Socialist Inauguration Poem
LIVE: Here A Press Briefing, There A Press Briefing
Justice Clarence Thomas's Billionaire Benefactor Tells Congress To Eat Sh*t
And That's The Story Of How I Became The Mother Of Kaydon Boebert
South Carolina Men Who'll Never Become Pregnant Pass Six-Week Abortion Ban
Target Gives The Terrorists What They Want
'No Labels' Jerks Working Hard To Ratf**k 2024 Election
Ted Cruz Tells NAACP, Martin Luther King How To Civil Rights Good
This Is How Many 'Restaurant Impossible' Locations Shut Down! Tabs, Wed., May 24, 2023
Western States Save Colorado River For A Bit Longer!
LA Dodgers Tell Catholic Extremists To F*ck Off, Reinvite Fun Gay Nuns To Pride Night
Kari Lake: Still Lying, Still Not Governor.
Live: WHAR WHITE HOUSE BRIEFING?
Democrats Deliver Some HOLY SH*T Minnesota Nice Times For Ya!
Ohio Higher Ed Bill Requires Equal Time For Climate Change Deniers, Racists
Special Counsel Jack Smith's Investigation Giving Trump More To Cry About Every Day
South Carolina Gov Henry McMaster Gonna Hunt Down All The Democrats (Black People) With Dogs
Fox News Being Insufficiently Nazi To Trans Employees And Idiot Losers Are ON IT
DeSantis Chasing Away Everyone Decent From Florida
King Charles Recuperates From Grueling Coronation In Romanian Hideaway! Tabs, Tues., May 23, 2023
Putin Bans Everybody Who Ever Hurted Donald Trump's Feelings From Glorious Russia
Inquiry Finds That Bannon Ally Hired To Ratf*ck VOA Was Total Ratf*cking Hack
Republicans Are The Lannisters Of American Politics
Chicago Could Spend A Billion Fighting Wrongful Conviction Suits It Can't Win
Republicans Don't Want To Run On Same Ballot As World-Historical Loser Trump, Peeeeee-YEW
WonkTV: Why That Subway Vigilante Guy Is A Killer Not A Hero
Oregon Republicans Go Full Ferris Bueller To Block Democratic Bills
Sorry Cory Booker, But Tim Scott Isn't Any Better Than MAGA, Just Duller
Wingnuts Having A Good Old-Fashioned Satanic Panic About ... Target
Ron ‘Chuckles’ DeSantis Running For Silver Medal In Republican Presidential Primary
Are Fake Books A Home Decor Faux Pas? Tabs, Mon., May 22, 2023
WonkTV: Why Are Republicans Such Joyless Creeps?
What? Fox's 'Chicago' (Naperville) Diner Segment Was A Set Up?
Wonkette Movie Night: My Man Godfrey
Happy Cher's Birthday To All Who Celebrate!
A Conservative Walks Into A Food Pantry ... (That's It. That's The Joke.)
Nebraska Votes To Be Crap Place For Trans Kids And Anyone Who Can Get Pregnant To Live
GOP Still Won't Kick Out George Santos, What Does He Have To Do, Vote For The Debt Ceiling?
It's Curtains For Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week (Not Really)
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Blueberry Mint Julep!
Wonkette Book Club Part 1: A (Climate) Change Is Gonna Come
Of Course The 'Homeless Vets Displaced For Immigrants' Story Is A Hoax
Three Republicans To Announce Intention To Get Beaten Like Max Schmeling In GOP Primary
'Beaches,' But Make It A Crooked Cop And A Proud Boy
Louisiana Wingnut Rep. Clay Higgins Bulldozes Protester. WHAR ASSAULT CHARGES?
Disney Turns Its Billion Dollar Florida Investment Back Into This Pumpkin
Pro-Confederacy Florida Teacher Traumatized By People Thinking He's Racist
When The Matewan Miners, Mayor, And Police Chief Faced Off Against The Mines' Gun Thugs
Parents, Authors, Publisher Make Florida Book Censorship A Federal Case
Secretary Mayor Pete Loves God And Beer And His Electric Mustang And Fox News Is ... Mad About That?
Heart Surgeon Begs Americans 'Stop Putting Tomatoes In Your Coffee'! Tabs, Fri., May 19, 2023
Ted Cruz Investigating Bud Light For Felony Nice To Trans Lady
Republicans Can't Stop Divorcing Long Enough To Make No Fault Divorce Illegal Again
MTG: Calling Me 'White Supremacist' Is Just Like 'N'-Word. Also MTG: A BLACK MAN LOOKED AT ME!
Ron DeSantis Achieves New Dickishness Personal Worst
Let's All Enjoy Michael Knowles' Despair Over Martha Stewart's Sports Illustrated Cover
Election-Denying Republicans Will Keep Losing Elections While We Point And Laugh
Mississippi Voters Haaate Gov Tate Reeves But Too Afraid They'll Catch Democrat Cooties
LIVE: Jim Jordan's Whistlefluffers Stepping On Rakes
Jesse Watters And Nick Fuentes Have Dirty Old Perv Creeper Contest, Both Win!
Start Sleeping With Soap In Your Bed Tonight, Here's Why. Tabs, Thurs., May 18, 2023
Elon Musk's CNBC Interview Makes Marjorie Taylor Greene Sound Thoughtful
You Got Your Abortion Bill In My Trans Ban!
Brian Kilmeade Saw In Durham Report Where Hillary's Russia Hoaxes Started Ukraine War, And He Is MAD
Republicans Enter 5 Stages Of Durham Flop Grief. Stage 1: LIE. Stages 2 Through 5: LIE MORE.
Senate Not Doing Dianne Feinstein Or Democracy Any Favors Right Now
Oh No, Is The IRS Bullying One Of James Comer's Imaginary Whistlefriends?
Kayleigh McEnany Not Asshole About Martha Stewart Looking Fine As Hell On Softcore Mag Cover
Rural America Gonna Get Woke Clean Energy Dollars. Thanks A Lot, Joe Biden!
Oh Sh*t, Miller Lite Selling Beer To WOMEN, IS THAT EVEN LEGAL? (No)
The Top 5 Times Pedro Pascal Was So OMG It Was Like WHAT? Tabs, Wed., May 17, 2023
'Transformer' Robot Has No Gender, Is Robot, And Laura Ingraham Is PISSED!
Joe Biden Would Love To Negotiate With Republicans: Let's Close Some Tax Loopholes!
Big Pornstache John Durham Had One Job. He Failed Miserably.
LA Mayor Karen Bass Showing Other Mayors How To Not Be Asshole
Rudy Giuliani Sued For Being Exactly The Person We All Knew He Was
Elon Musk Has Some Thoughts About This One Jew
Wonkette, The World's Last Website!
Daniel Penny, Subway Marine Choke Hold Guy, Is A Disgrace To The Marine Corps, From A US Marine
Let's All Just Enjoy This Trump Lady Ranting About Technologically Advanced Mermaids
The Philadelphia Mayor's Race Is Today, If Only Philly Voters Knew About It
Why Cheap Sushi's Days Are Numbered. Tabs, Tues., May 16, 2023
Who Wants To Hear Ben Shapiro Say 'Beaver Nipples' HEY WAIT COME BACK!
Fascist Florida Investigates Teacher For Showing Disney Movie In Class
The Never-Ending Political Hypocrisy And Stupidity Loop
After $5 Million Verdict, Trump Still Trying To Slut Shame Carroll For Having A Cat Named 'Vagina'
GOP Rep. Paul Gosar Has Groyper Working In His Office, On Purpose
Damn Woke Oscars Won't Let Richard Dreyfuss Play Blackface Othello Or Even Shaft
Could Mark Robinson Become North Carolina's First Black Confederate Governor?
Nikki Haley Can't Quite Figure Out How To Talk About Trump's Sexual Assault Verdict
Hey, Look At Joe Biden Call White Supremacists Terrorists, Not 'Very Fine People'!
Stop And Eat The Roses! How To Select And Use Edible Roses! Tabs, Mon., May 15, 2023
WonkTV: Why CNN’s Trump Infomercial Sponge Bath Wasn’t ‘News’
Surprise! Montana Supreme Court Actually Expanded Abortion Rights
Florida Students Refuse To Let Skeevy MAGA Speaker Ruin Their Graduation Ceremony
Megyn Kelly Challenges Charlize Theron To Fisticuffs Over Drag Queens
Intellectual Dark Web Dorks Explore Deep Questions At Bari Weiss' University Of Martyrdom
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are A Happening
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The French 75!
Trump Can Appeal Any Damn Fool Thing He Likes. He's Still A Loser Sex Pest.
Wonkette Book Club: Chaos, Capitalism, And Saving Humanity From Itself
Nepo Baby Anderson Cooper Is A Better Friend To Trump Than He Was To Kathy Griffin
Hello! I, Vladimir Putin, Am Not Cowering Under Bed After Drone Attack Like American Weenie
George Santos Confesses To Check-Kiting Charges, Won't Be Sent To Brazil
10-Year-Old Rape Victims Having Babies? Louisiana Republicans ABSOLUTELY FINE With That!
Fox News Had A 'Great Replacement' White Supremacy Contest And Laura Ingraham Won!
Wise Sentient Spider Convinces Supreme Court To Uphold California Anti-Cruelty Law
Our 10 Favorite Kitchen Cabinet Trends For 2023! Tabs, Fri., May 12, 2023
EPA Gonna Punch That Climate Emergency Right In The Snoot!
Creepy School Choir Director Compares Girl's Bodies To Mining Operations
Even Fox News Seems Pretty Sure James Comer And Ron Johnson's Biden Investigations F*ckin' Dumb
Something Something BORDER AIYEEEEE! Today's White House Presser Featuring DHS Sec. Mayorkas!
Texas Is Imagineering Abortion 'Complications' To Back Up Its Lies About Abortion
George Santos Can't Believe The Nerve Of You People
Tommy Tuberville Was For White Nationalists In The Military Before He Oh Wait He Still Is!
Dianne Feinstein Deserves Better Than This
Missed The CNN Trump Town Hall? Well I Wouldn't Say We *Missed It*, Bob!
Where To Stay On The Best Islands In Thailand! Tabs, Thurs., May 11, 2023
The E. Jean Carroll Verdict Isn't Enough. But It's A Lot.
Texas Has Bullet-Proof School Shooting Plan: Replacing School Counselors With Jesus
New York Times And Kyrsten Sinema Team Up For Whatever This Foul Sh*t Is
LIVE: Biden Shakes Stick At Debt Ceiling
We Think Maybe Tim Scott Still Running For President?
Eric Trump Gonna Sue Rachel Maddow For Talking About His Nazi Pals, Quoting Them Verbatim
Dianne Feinstein, Welcome Back!
Nobel Prize Laureate, Purple Heart Recipient George Santos Indicted On Federal Charges
Tucker Would Like To Go Down On, We Mean With Elon's Sinking Ship
E. Jean Carroll Verdict Against Trump Finally Last Straw For Republicans, Right? Right?
Should You Add Parmesan To Your Espresso Martini? Tabs, Wed., May 10, 2023
'Moms For Liberty' Now Against Mother's Day
This Post Does Not Have The E. Jean Carroll Jury Verdict In It, Scratch That, Does Too
National Review Weirdo Gonna Teach Kids These Days About F*ckin'
Oklahoma Gov Murders Oklahoma PBS, For The Children
LIVE: Tuesday White House Press Briefing, You Betcha
Mitch McConnell Won't Save Nation From MAGA Default, Will Be Mitch McConnell Instead
Trump Hotel, Trump Kid Throwing Fun Weekend Bash With Actual Nazis, Is That Bad?
Woke Libs Saying Guy With Nazi Tattoos Who Murdered People May Be Nazi Mass Murderer
Texas, Meet Your Ted Cruz Senate Upgrade Colin Allred!
Fellas, Do Ice Skates Make You Gay?
Just To Be Super Clear, Most Mass Shootings Happen In The Bible Belt
Why You Can't Prove Daisy Buchanan Killed Myrtle Wilson. Tabs, Tues., May 9, 2023
Georgia Fake Trump Electors With Immunity Deals? Whatever Could THAT Mean!
Trump Lawyers Try To Limit Damages By Keeping Their Client Far Away From Carroll Jury
Monday, Monday. Your White House Press Briefing!
Our Prisons Are Scarring People For Life And Democratic Lawmakers Want To Know How To Help
A Former And Current Democrat Wrestle Against A Moral Universe
WonkTV: (Early) Cocktail Hour With Writer/Director David Avallone! Part Two
Here's The Latest 'Succession'-Style Gossip About Tucker's Big Nasty Fight With Fox News
Fox Guest Rudely Denied Stay At Hotel That's Been Closed Over Two Years
The Good, The Bad And The Tate Reeves, Who Isn't Very Good
Why Tucker Carlson Was The Tom Buchanan Of Fox News
Texas Man Kills Eight Immigrants With SUV, Will Probably Immediately Be Pardoned By Greg Abbott
6 Ways To Ensure The French Will Treat You Well! Tabs, Mon., May 8, 2023
WonkTV: People Are Annoying Sometimes. Is Homicide The Answer? Let's Discuss.
Second Amendment Racks Up More Victories Against Human Life In Allen, Texas
Those Cakes We Like ... Got Caught In The Rain
Wonkette Movie Night: Pee-wee's Big Adventure
Now People Are Getting Punched On Trains For Fixing Their Hair
Can We Talk About This 'Abortion Up Until The Moment Of Birth' Nonsense?
Indiana: Trans Kids Must Stay Closeted In School Or Get Outed To Bigot Parents
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are King Of The World
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Cantarito!
Kayleigh McEnany Says Racist Thing, Water Continues To Be Wet
Don't Strip-Search Eighth-Graders Over Nonexistent Vape Pens, Please
Lowest Unemployment Since 1969? Far Out, Man!
Bleeding Heart Lefties Right About Minimum Wage All Along, Says New Study
Leonard Leo's Secret Payments To Clarence Thomas's Wife, Ginni? Nothing To See Here!
Breastfeeding Moms Pretty PUMPed For New Workplace Protections
Snacks On The Go! 18 Tackle Box Charcuterie Ideas! Tabs, Fri., May 5, 2023
Proud Boys To Start Working On Applications To Join Aryan Brotherhood
Giggly Weirdo Tucker Dying To Know If Ladies Do Pillow Fights In The Potty, TEE HEE HEE!
Anti-Abortion States ALL IN On Forcing People To Carry Dying Fetuses To Term
Ron DeSantis Wants Very Own Chinese Exclusion Act
LIVE: BIDEN RESIGNS Just Kidding It's Just The White House Press Briefing
Clarence Thomas Forgets Gifts, Disclaims Child, Is Disgraceful
Please, Everyone, Calm Your Faces About Shoplifting
Don't Know What We Did To Deserve It, But Bush V. Gore Is Back
Donald Trump, Worst Person You Know, Still Favorite Candidate Of Worst People You Know
Elon Still Getting Pants-ed By NPR, Seems Mad About It
Rev Sen Warnock Has Had Just About Enough Of Well-Regulated American Gun Violence
Milan Tuscany And Rome From $899! Tabs, Thurs., May 4, 2023
Manly Army Guy Ben Shapiro Knows Why Recruitment Numbers Are Down, It's The Damned Drag Queens Again
Congratulations On Your CPAC Speaking Slot, Subway Vigilante Choke Hold Killer Guy
Your Mittwoch Press Briefing Is Right Hier!
Texas Lege Well Into Annual WTF Season
Could Alaska Rep. Mary Peltola Beat Sen. Dan Sullivan After Pantsing Sarah Palin Twice?
Jesse Watters Can Tell Who's 'Illegal' Just By Looking At Them, So He's Replacing Tucker, Right?
Oregon Secretary Of State's Political Career Goes Up In Smoke
Liz Truss And The Curious Case Of The Peignoirs In The Night!
If We Found Out For First Time That Tucker Was White Supremacist, We'd Freak Out Just Like Fox Did
VA School Board: Workers Comp Should Cover Teacher’s Shooting By Six-Year-Old Just Fine
This Island Is The Hawaii Of Europe! Tabs, Wed., May 3, 2023
Kimberly Guilfoyle Selling Sheets Now, For Sleeping With StinkHair McMoistBodies Like Don Jr.
DeSantis Stumbles Into The Ring For Another Round With The Mouse
Zooey Zephyr's Taking The Bastards To Court
No More TV Until Writers Paid Living Wage. PAAAAAY THEMMMMM Oh My God PAAAAAY THEMMMM.
Kevin McCarthy Suddenly Takes Bold Stand For Ukraine, Wonder What He's Not Scared Of Anymore
Debt Ceiling Update: Joe Biden Still Not Negotiating With MAGA Terrorists
Ron DeSantis: What If We Killed More People, Harder?
This Week's Tucker Timeslot Substitute Teacher Sucks, Let's All Laugh And Throw Things
Michigan Mayor Cancels Bangladeshi Festival For Being Too 'Ethnic'
Nikki Haley Just Sayin' Joe Biden Is Old, Getting Older, Probably Already Dead, Buried In Cellar
Secret Behind KFC Fried Chicken Revealed! Tabs, Tues., May 2, 2023
Happy May Day! Let's Talk About Some Awesome Ladies Of The Labor Movement
Sam Alito Is The Pettiest Bitch Alive
What Is Megyn Kelly Being Racist And/Or Transphobic And/Or Some Other Kind Of Asshole About Today?
The Flat Circle Of Republican Stupidity
May Day 2023: Unions And Fair Wages For Some ... Child Labor For Others?
WonkTV: Tucker Carlson Unemployment Celebration Special! Part Two
Junior Posting Memes About Putting Drag Queens In Woodchippers. Sorry, No Jokes In This Headline.
Kyrsten Sinema May Talk Like A Jerk, Act Like A Jerk But Don’t Be Fooled, She Really Is A Jerk
Could We Maybe Not Lock People Up For 10 Years Without A Trial?
NC Supreme Court Brings Back The Racist Gerrymandering Republicans Need To Win
TX Gunman Kills Five, Including Child, With America's Favorite Freedom Maker, The AR-15
17 Unique Summer Resorts And Hotels By The Water! Tabs, Mon., May 1, 2023
WonkTV: Tucker Carlson Unemployment Celebration Special Part 1
Comedic Duo of Roy Wood Jr And Dark Brandon Dazzle White House Correspondents Dinner
QAnon Momfluencer Convicted Of Falsely Claiming Craft Enthusiasts Tried To Kidnap Her Kids
Bill Maher And Elon Musk Terribly Oppressed By No One/Nothing In Particular
WonkTV: (Early) Cocktail Hour With Writer David Avallone!
Hey Sailor, Here Are Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Porn Star Martini!
Florida Censor Lady Should Know Better Than To Come At Betty White
Sham Investigation Of Brett Kavanaugh That Everyone Assumed Was Sham Was In Fact Sham
Trump Lawyer Channels Client In Gross Cross Examination Of E. Jean Carroll
Biden Refuses To Listen To Helpful New York Times, Keeps Kamala Harris On Ticket
Peggy Noonan Travels The Dusty Texas Plains, Where Deer And Third-Party Candidates Roam
Anti-Abortion Lawmakers Can't Even Pass Bans In Their Own Republican-Controlled Legislatures
Pentagon Leaker Idjit Was Caught Before He Could Do Any Mass Shootings
Steven Crowder Is An Abusive Piece Of Shit, Big Surprise.
Why Is Witchcraft On The Rise? Tabs, Fri., April 28, 2023
LIVE: Karine Jean-Pierre Gives The White House Briefing, Because She, Unlike Tucker, Still Has Job.
Who's Marjorie Taylor Greene Being Pointlessly Cruel To This Week? Lesbian Stepmoms!
A Love Note To Our Trans Friends And Babies, From Yr Wonkette
In Disney Lawsuit, Ron DeSantis Dick-Kicked *Himself*
Lordy, Abby Grossberg Has Tapes!
Montana House Republicans Officially Punish Zooey Zephyr For Legislating While Trans
Helpful Anti-Abortion Doctors Just Making Up Crazy Sh*t At Senate Abortion Pill Hearing
Nikki Haley: Hey, Disney, We've Just Met But Ron Sounds Crazy So Call South Carolina, Maybe?
Joe Biden Gonna Beat The Fascists With One Hand While Eating An Ice Cream Cone In The Other
30 Spring Mantel Decor Ideas To Brighten Your Mood! Tabs, Thurs., April 27, 2023
Ron Johnson: What If Global Warming Is Awesome Actually, HEY LIBS, Didja Think About THAT?
Trump Is On Trial For Sexual Assault Today, And We Just Feel Tired
It's Been A Big (And Bad) Month For Unsuccessful Neo-Nazi Terrorists
House Speaker McCarthy Ready To BURN IT ALL DOWN
Montana Republicans Want In On That 'Expel Democrats' Thing That Worked So Well For Tennessee
Woke Texas Letting Steven Crowder's Wife Divorce Him *Even Though* He Didn't Give Her Permission
Was Tucker Fired Because He Couldn't Stop Saying C-Word? (By Which We Mean 'Christ')
Known Lunatic RFK Jr. Knows Why Fox News Fired Tucker
Hillary Clinton Gave Nate Silver A 71.4% Chance He'd Keep His Job. Ouch!
What Do The British Royal Children Really Eat? Tabs, Wed., April 26, 2023
Harry Belafonte, (Jamaica) Farewell
Florida's Fake Surgeon General Faked COVID Vaccine 'Study' Results, Documents Show
White Fascists Wistfully Remembering Times Tucker Brushed Up Against Them And Gave Them Starbursts
Joe Biden Running For President ... Again
Wonkette Defeats Tucker Carlson, Buzzfeed News, Prob Some Others
Who's Buying Justice Neil Gorsuch's Real Estate? Nobody He'd Care To Tell You About!
Look Upon Tucker Carlson's Works, Ye Mighty, And Giggle: Reactions To A Small Man's Fall
Really, CNN, This Is Why You Fired Past-His-Prime Don Lemon?
What The Hell Is Happening Here, Tucker Carlson?
Maybe AZ AG Kris Mayes Didn't Cancel Tucker Carlson But She Did Save State's Water From Saudi Arabia
Tucker Just Saying Trans People Going To GET ALL THE GUNS AND MURDER YOU
Surprise, Tucker Using Colorado Springs Gay Club Massacre To Incite More Anti-LGBT Hatred
Tucker Reveals Ashli Babbitt Just Girl Scout Selling Thin Mints At Wrong House
Kentucky County Thrilled To Welcome Breonna Taylor's Killer As New Deputy Sheriff
Vile And Unrepentant Tucker Carlson Now Telling Your Nana COVID Vaccines Kill
BUH-BYE! Tucker Carlson *Strangely Insistent* All Fox Viewers Are Domestic Terrorists!
David Duke Thanks Tucker Carlson For Spreading 'Great Replacement' Lie
Oh Lordy They Have Tucker Carlson's Texts
Fulton County DA Fani Willis Announces F*ck 'Em Up Summer Indictment Concert Season Starts July 11!
Fox News Slightly Less Racist Now That Tucker Carlson's Gone. Tabs, Tues., April 25, 2023
Bro, You Got An Extra Sarah Huckabee Sanders Koozie In Your Truck? My Beer's Gettin' Woke.
Tucker Carlson Finally Managed To Do Something So Filthy It Squicked Out Rupert Murdoch
Can We Blame Stock Buybacks For Our Now Useless Pile Of Bed Bath & Beyond 20% Off Coupons?
Conservatives’ Contraceptive Chaos
Guess Tucker's Last Lie To His Viewers Was 'We'll Be Back On Monday'
Elon Blesses Fake Accounts With Fake Verifications, Definitely Knows What He's Doing Here
Lizzo Brought Drag Queens Onstage In Tennessee. Uh Oh, Is Daily Wire Creep Matt Walsh Mad Now?
Guns, Guns Everywhere But Never A Shooter Who Thinks
Oregon Governor Gonna Hoard All Of The Abortion Pills
Larry Elder, Fresh From CA Recall Ass Whooping, Ready To Lose Some More In GOP POTUS Primary
12 Creative Ways To Repurpose Food Scraps! Tabs, Mon., April 24, 2023
WonkTV: Elon Musk’s $44 Billion Blue Checkmark Flop
Magic Vacuum Vaginas: Right-Wing Grifters Repackage Incel 'Science' As Dating Advice
Wonkette Movie Night: Cheech & Chong's Up In Smoke
Justice Alito SO MAD YOU GUYS That Fellow Conservatives Won't Sell Their Whole Souls To Ban Abortion
Ohio Republican Demands Reparations For White People
On Climate, Joe Biden Gets The Whole GLOBAL Thing
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Not Invisible
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Black Shirley!
Elon Musk's Rocket Blowing Up Somehow Least Embarrassing Thing To Happen To Him This Week
Texas Senate Votes To Shove Ten Commandments Down Schoolkids' Throats
Despite Republican Freakouts, Michigan To Legalize LIVING TOGETHER, Even For Humans
Richard Glossip To Be Executed Despite Obvious Innocence, All Available Evidence
A-Hole Trump Coup Lawyer Sick Of Gross Youngs Voting, What If We Just Made That Totally Impossible?
MyPillow Guy Said Prove His Election BS Wrong, He'll Pay You $5 Million. Guess What Happened Next.
I Peed My Pants One Too Many Times Until This Happened! Tabs, Fri., April 21, 2023
When The Unions Kicked Out The Commies, Like A Bunch Of Dicks
House Republicans Finally Deliver Debt Ceiling Ransom Note
Another White House Briefing? But Wasn't There One Yesterday?
Mifepristone Decision Is Rightwing Supreme Court Solomon's Baby
Love To Watch RFK Jr. Tell Tucker Russian Propaganda Tucker Told RFK Jr. Literally Last Week
Following School Shooting, Tennessee Swiftly Protects Gun Businesses
We Really Shouldn't Enjoy Watching Kentucky Republicans Pummel Daniel Cameron, But It Is What It Is.
Tennessee Lege Passes 'Fink On Your Professor' Bill To Help Stomp Out 'Divisive' Ideas
Michigan Republican Party Now Dumpster Fire Wrapped In Drunken Bar Slap Fight
MTG Got In Big Trouble In Congress For Being Vile Classless Human Armpit Fart A-Hole
20 Thank You Note Examples You Need To Be Sending To Your Customers! Tabs, Thurs., April 20, 2023
Just A Couple Normal White Guys Talking About Boning And Breeding
LIVE: Great, Joe Biden Talks Every Day Now We Guess
Everyone Loves Ralph Yarl, Except For That One Asshole With A Gun
Iowa Passes Child Labor Bill In Predawn Darkness, Just Like A Teen Headed To A Roofing Job
Why Did Fox News Settle And Why Didn't They Do It Two Years Ago?
Wednesday White House Briefing, Watch Right Now!
FOX NEWS ALERT: A Thing Happened, Or Maybe Not, IDK, It's Probably Nothing
Climate Crisis Well Into 'Just Like Science Fiction' Territory
Well-Regulated POS Fatally Shoots 20-Year-Old Woman Who Pulled Into His Driveway
33 Beautiful Outdoor Kitchen Ideas! Tabs, Wed., April 19, 2023
Is This The Right Amount To Get Mad At Beer?
FDA Approves Second Bivalent Booster Shots For Some, Tiny American Flags For Others
LIVE: Un-American White House Briefing Probably Not Mad At Bud Light OR Mickey Mouse
Kansas City Confirms It Is Crime To Shoot Black Teenager Who Rings Your Doorbell
LIVE: Joe Biden Helping American Families RIGHT TO THEIR FACE
Jim Jordan Holds Very Serious New York Hearing On 'Crime' (He Means Black People And Jews)
Tyrant Joe Biden Mobilizes Entire US Government To Help Working Families Find Care
Florida Sends Blatantly Innocent Man Back To Prison
Meet The Republican Who DOESN'T Think Children Should Be Shot At School, Because Yes That Is News
MyPillow Guy Knows How Apocalypse Will Happen, It's The AI Voting Machine Roombas!
Dianne Feinstein's Republican Colleagues So Sorry She's On Fire But Have No Piss To Give
Help Me Understand What Makes A Man Hate Another Man ... Tabs, Tues., April 18, 2023
MTG Teaches Lindsey Graham Lesson By Posting Fake Transgender Bud Light Picture Of Him
Iowa Willing To Pay Anything For Privilege Of Starving People To Death
Justice Thomas Had Another Oopsies In His Financial Disclosures? SHOOK!
How Many Years In Prison Should A Barista Get For Screwing Up This Man's Order?
Best Brain Trump Has Legal Advice For Fox News: Lie More About Stolen Elections!
Wonk TV: Why Politicians (Or Anyone Really) Shouldn’t Work Until They Die
Bob Hope Just Too 'Woke,' We Guess, For Gun-Loving, Gay-Hating Ronald Reagan
Can Poor, Sucky Sinema Make Ends Meet With Spare Millions From GOP Donors/PACs?
Seems Like The Kennedys Would Support Zombie Little Edie For President Over RFK Jr.
White Guy Shoots Black Kid In The Head Because He Rang His Doorbell. This Is America.
Top Coastal Beauty Spots In Britain! Tabs, Mon., April 17, 2023
How Corrupt Is Clarence Thomas On A Scale Of Very To Hella?
QAnon Psychic Makes Case For Bland Food And Dirty Bums
Wonkette Movie Night: The Adventures Of Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert
Kristi Noem Touts One-Year-Old Gun Toting Granddaughter
Bigots Have Big Sad Over Bud Light Not 'Apologizing' To Them Enough
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are F-R-E-E That Spells Free
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour! This Week, We're Giving You A BAR MAKEOVER!
Tennessee Republicans Are Racist, Corrupt Dicks Both Publicly And Privately, How Shocking
Trump's Stupid Lawsuit Of The Week: Michael Cohen Stole My Hush Money!
Bad Abortion News In Florida, Good Abortion News In Arizona
Greg Abbott Might Wanna Rethink Pardoning Super Racist Murderer Of Black Lives Matter Protester
Missouri Attorney General Singlehandedly Bans Care For Trans Adults Too, No Law Required
I, Clarence Thomas Do Nazi Why My Friendship With A Billionaire Is Anyone's Business
Arizona House, In Weird Twist, Expels Member Who Deserved It
Nebraska Republican Very Sad About All Of The Aborted Potential White Employees
Tucker So Mad Nobody Talking About How Leaker Exposed Secret HOT WAR Between Russia And 14 US Troops
12 Easy No Cook Sides! Tabs, Fri., April 14, 2023
Charlie Kirk Something Something NO GAY POEMS ON BATTLESHIPS!
Everything You Need To Know About The Abortion Pill Ruling Is: PANIC.
Republicans Decide Banning Books Too Slow, Now Banning Libraries Instead
Florida Republicans Hope To Wrongfully Execute Even More People Now
Abortion Pill To Stay On Market (FOR NOW) With Entirely Nonsensical Restrictions
Federal Judge Takes Dump On Clean Water Act In 24 States
Say It Loud: Justin Pearson's Always Been Black And Proud
ARRRGHHHH New EPA Emissions Rules Will Speed Up EV Transition, Do Tyranny, ARGHHHH!
LOL! Tim Scott ... LOL! ... Running For POTUS ... LOL! No, Seriously!
Go Straight To Tennessee Legislature, Justin Pearson!
13 Vintage Kitchen Features That Should Never Have Gone Out Of Style! Tabs, Thurs., April 13, 2023
NPR Uses Calm, Soothing Public Radio-Type Voice To Tell Elon Musk To Suck It
Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg Sues Jim Jordan For Being A Dick. A Lawsplainer!
WonkTV: Fighting For Abortion Rights, Gun Safety With Florida State Rep. Rita Harris!
Jay Inslee: Send Me Your Trans Kids And Women Needing Abortions, But Not Your AR-15s
Florida Bigot Unclear On Concept: Are Trans People 'X-Men'? Because Those Guys Are Awesome!
It's Traitor Time TV Hour, With Trump And Tucker!
Ted Cruz's Re-Election Strategy: Hoping Everyone Forgets He's Ted Cruz
Imaginary AZ Gov Kari Lake Plotting Very Real, Very Horrible Senate Campaign
TN Gov. Bill Lee Asks For Stronger Gun Laws, Will Presumably Be Expelled From TN House
Fox News Idiot So Upset Nobody Factchecking These TikTok Influencers! That's It, That's The Joke.
Was Brad Pitt's Old Home Haunted? Tabs, Wed., April 12, 2023
Wisconsin Idiot Says Constituents Too Scared To Go To New York, Awww Bless Their MAGA Hearts
Ron DeSantis Desperate For Wingnut Students, Faculty To Come To Nice Little College He Wrecked
James Comer Knows What Laws Hunter Biden's Wangle Doodle Broke But SHHHH He Can't Tell You Yet
House Republicans Will Defend Trump By Showing Their Whole Asses In New York
Kellyanne Conway Worried TikTok Influencers Might Groom Kids To Do Dirty Stuff, Like Voting
Justin Jones Already Back In TN House. Your Turn, Memphis! Send Justin Pearson Back And Be Legends!
Tech Founder Maybe Up For Some Vigilante Justice, Public Hangings To Make San Francisco Great Again
The Christians Having A Satanic Panic Over Taylor Swift Will Be So Mad When She Is Mayor Of Tampa*
NY Gov Kathy Hochul Remembers She's Democrat, Nominates Bad-Ass Liberals To Court Of Appeals
Well-Regulated Bank Employee Kills Five, Injures Eight In Louisville, Kentucky
Poor Trump Still Searching For Roy Cohn, Who Remains In Hell
Candace Owens Will Decide Who Is And Is Not A Lesbian, Thank You Very Much
Lindsey Graham Has Idea To Make Voters Love Republicans Again, It Is Let's Ban Abortions!
LIVE: Will White House Answer Peter Doocy's Tough Questions About If Easter Bunny Is Real?
Voter Fraud Wackos Chase Out Virginia County's Entire Election Staff
The Abortion Wars Are Back On, Thanks To Hacks Parked On The Court By Trump And McConnell
The Devil's Advocates of Easter
Stop What You Are Doing And Watch Ousted Tennessee Rep. Justin Jones Duet With Joan Baez
Senate Republicans Begging Trump Please No Helping With Primaries This Time, Please Please Please
WonkTV: What's The Real Border Crisis?
Harlan Crow Collects Nazi Memorabilia, Hitler’s Crayon Drawings Because He Hates Nazis So Very Much
5 Ways To Set Up Your Home For Your Villain Era! Tabs, Mon., April 10, 2023
Wonkette Easter Abortion Spectacular!
Wonkette Movie Night: Monty Python's Life Of Brian
When Harry S Truman Gave 'Em Hell ... Them Being US Steel
Texas Trump Judge Bans Abortion Pill Nationwide For Entirely Nonsensical Reasons
Oh Sure Kamala And Old Joe LOOOOVE Insurrection When It's ... Nah We Can't Keep This Up
The Wonkette Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Unworthy Of Your Love
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Dark and Stormy!
Clarence Thomas Led Astray On Judicial Ethics By Everyone Else, Just Ask Him
North Dakota Senators Who Voted Down Free School Lunches Want More Free Lunch For Themselves
Forgive Them Lord They ... Oh Wait. They Do. Tennessee House Lets Its Racist Freak Flag Fly.
HUNTERS LAPTOP Committee Still Wanking Wanking Wanking Towards Freedom!
Charlie Kirk Happy To Water Tree Of Liberty With The Blood Of Children
Hi, I'm Matt Taibbi And I Did Not Get Smoked Like A Salmon By Mehdi Hasan, Shut Up.
Oklahoma AG Moves To Vacate Conviction Of Obviously Innocent Death Row Inmate Richard Glossip
There's A Pube On Clarence Thomas's Integrity (Again)
Is This The Garden Of The Future? Tabs, Fri., April 7, 2023
Marjorie Taylor Greene Didn't Like The Big City, It Was Stinky And It Scared Her
Republicans Once Again Discovering That People Like Abortions
Let's Watch Tennessee House Beclown Itself By Expelling Three Democrats For 'Insurrection'
LIVE: Thursday White House Briefing, Go Get 'Em, Tigers!
Wisconsin Supreme Court Impeachment Watch, Day Two
Both Mr. T And I Are Very Excited About Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson!
World's Best Interior Designer Tells Candace Owens And Garbage Husband To Eat Sh*t
Why Do These Rightwing States Keep Overruling Local Control? Could It Be The Fascism?
NC GOP Rep. Tricia Cotham's Position On Abortion As Unwavering As Her Party Allegiance ... Oh Crap.
'No Labels' Assholes: Criminal Lunatic Fascist Or Joe Biden, Are They The Same?
7 Frank Lloyd Wright-Designed Houses You Can Rent On AirBnB! Tabs, Thurs., April 6, 2023
Here's Your Bad-Ass MI Gov. Gretchen Whitmer Slaying Zombie Abortion Bans!
NC State Rep Switches Parties, Screws Democrats, Women, LGBTQ Community, Pretty Much Everyone
Good News! NJ Now Safe State For Trans Refugees! Bad News: Idaho Creating Many Trans Refugees
Every Month Confederate Heritage Month In Mississippi!
FL Dems Arrested For Late-Night (*Not Yet 8 P.M.) Protesting Of GOP's 6-Week Abortion Ban
Donald Trump Knew Exactly What The Hell He Was Doing.
Montana Anti-Drag Bill Sponsor VERY UNHAPPY All You Rabble Showed Up To Laugh At His Stupid Bill
Brandon Johnson Wins Chicago Mayor’s Race! Guess All Those Cops Will Quit Now. No Backsies.
Janet Protasiewicz Wins Wisconsin Supreme Court Race, Tilts Balance To 'Good'
6 Ways To Make Your Kitchen More Sustainable! Tabs, Wed., April 5, 2023
Marjorie Taylor Greene Tells Easter Classic 'The Passion Of The Trump'
Why They Can Never Kill The Fearless, Radical Dr. King Who Actually Lived
Donald Trump Gets His Ass Kicked In Court. No, A DIFFERENT Court.
Hey Wisconsin People! You're Voting Today, Right? RIGHT?
LIVE: White House Press Briefing, Because There ARE Other Things Going On!
TN House GOP To Expel Democrat Terrorists Who Called For Saving Kids' Lives Without Permission
Ron DeSantis Grrr Argh Gonna Lock Her Up Mickey Mouse Now!
BREAKING! Florida Sheriff *Arrests* Nazis Instead Of Giving Them Honorary Sheriff Badges
Ron DeSantis Had SO MUCH FUN Watching Prisoners Tortured On Guantanamo!
Donald Trump's Mug Shot Won't Come Near Jane Fonda's Bad-Ass One For The Ages
Happy Arraignment Day, America! Let's See How The Patient Is Doing.
Everybody Hates Marjorie Taylor Greene's Garbage '60 Minutes' Interview, Loves Indicting Trump
LIVE: President Biden Up There In Minnesota, Yappin' About The Economy
Did Trump Touch Classified Docs With His Stinky Little Paws To Try To Keep Them From The Feds?
Trump Responds To Indictment By Shrieking Dogwhistles About The Judge And Prosecutor
It's Your Pre-Trump Arraignment Sunday Show Rundown!
Marijuana Smell Not Reason Enough To Search Car, Votes IL Senate
What The Hell Was Gerald Ford Thinking When He Pardoned Nixon?
Elon Not Mad At New York Times YOU ARE MAD AT NEW YORK TIMES!
Kyrsten Sinema Loves Pyramid Schemes So Much She Might Even Hold A Town Hall For Them!
There Was Armed Staff At Nashville School But Gun Massacre Still Happened? That's Unpossible!
4 Easter Charcuterie Board Ideas to Elevate Your Holiday Spread! Tabs, Mon., April 3, 2023
Wonkette Weekend Chat: The Escalating Right-Wing Demonization Of Trans People
Those Cakes We Like: An Easter Simnel Cake!
Wonkette Movie Night: Shaun Of The Dead
What If You Had A Checkmarkpocalypse And No One Cared?
Texas Wingnut Says Dirty Book Ban Would Include 'Lonesome Dove.' Not A Good Move In Texas.
Neo-Nazi So Upset About Drag Queens He Firebombed A Church
The New York Times Dares To Ask: Should Criminal Presidents Be Charged With Crimes
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Could Drink A Case Of You
Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Hell To Pay!
North Carolina Republicans Hope To End Tyranny Of Participation Trophies
Badass Nebraska Filibuster Lady Joined By ANOTHER Badass Nebraska Filibuster Lady!
Trump Org CFO Allen Weisselberg Cooling It At Rikers While Trump Blarps Around His Trash Motel Lanai
QAnon People REJOICE Over Trump Indictment!
WonkTV: Seems Like A Good Time To Talk About Gun Control
Jim Jordan, Private Eye, And The Case Of The Clown Ex-President
But How Are The Wingnuts Reacting To Trump's INDICTMENT, They're Fine Right?
Judge Snot Boogie Steals Obamacare Preventive Medicine Rules, At Least For Now
Don't Worry, Junior. Daddy Can Still Not Love You From Prison.
8 Disco Drinks To Try Right Now! Tabs, Fri., March 31, 2023
WHAT IS THIS, A BANANA REPUBLIC WHERE FORMER PRESIDENTS AREN'T EVEN ABOVE THE LAW
Disney's Middle Finger To DeSantis Was A Love Note To Lawyers
Adult Kentucky Lawmakers Really Stick It To LGBTQ Kids
No, QAnon Shaman Not Released Early Because Tucker Carlson Exonerated Him, You F*cking Idiots
Here's Your White House Press Briefing, If You Can Even Handle It.
Idaho Ready To Ban Minors From Traveling To Free States For Abortions
Texas House Would Like To Stop Executing The Severely Mentally Ill. Yes, Texas.
Manly, War-Winning Non-Loser Vladimir Putin Kidnapping American Journalists Now
Can't Republicans Just Burn All The Library Books And Get It Over With Already
Lauren Boebert Needs To Ask Same Question About Pee 78 Times, Please Do Not Interrupt
Ron DeSantis Picks Fight With Mouse. Loses Again!
Wisconsin GOP Has One Supreme Court Election Playbook, And Guess What, It Is Very Racist!
The Top Five Tabs To Click On! Or Don't! Tabs, Thurs., March 30, 2023
Judge Orders Mike Pence To Testify To Grand Jury About Trump, But Not About Being A 'Senator'
Josh Hawley Finds A Hate Crime He Cares About
Chicago Police Union President: Vote For Cop-Endorsed Paul Vallas OR DIE!!!
White House Press Briefing? Sure Fine Why Not.
Stop Calling Glenn Youngkin 'Centrist,' 'Moderate,' Anything Other Than 'Radical Right-Wing Asshat'
Today In Labor History: Julius And Ethel Rosenberg Convicted In Cold War Show Trial
Ted Cruz Solves Border Problems With New Levels Of Table-Pounding
Who Gave Ginni Thomas $600K In Unmarked Culture War Dollars? LOL, We'll Never Know.
Without Charming Old-Time Racism, Agatha Christie Novels Now Just Wokedunnits
If You Thought Tucker Was Being A Vile Sicko BEFORE Nashville Mass Shooting, Look At Him Now
Will Gov. Kemp Sign Georgia GOP's 'Racist' Bill Targeting Local Prosecutors? Uh, Yeah, Probably.
25 Animals That Are Real And Dangerous! Tabs, Wed., March 29, 2023
Liz Cheney Correct About Thing
LIVE: Let's Hear From The President.
Trump Howls As Pecker Leaks All Over Grand Jury
We Watched Clips Of That Damn Trump/Hannity Interview So You Don't Have To
Tennessee Republicans Have Mass Shootings All Figured Out: More Guns, Everywhere, Always
Kansas City Cop Blows Whistle On Department's Jim Crow Policing
Only A Sick Culture Worships Guns
Elon Announces New Safe Space For Idiots Who Give Him Money, It Is The 'For You' Tab
After Nashville School Shooting, Republicans Are Ready To Regulate Trans People
A Famously Rude Australian Dining Experience Is Coming To Bellevue. Tabs, Tues., March 28, 2023
Sixty-Three Years Later, White Mom Finally Gets 'Ruby Bridges' Banned From Elementary School
Trump Goes To Waco, Tells 'Em About His Lord And Savior Vladimir Putin
Manhattan DA Bragg To Jim Jordan: Don't Start No Sh*t, Won't Be No Sh*t.
White House Press Briefing, Take Notes!
What's Going On With The Ricky Vaughn Trial?
No, Bears Aren't Attracted To Menstruating Campers. They Just Want Your Food.
Joe Tacopina: Trump's Newest Bad Lawyer
Would You Pay Seven Bucks Per Month For Nothing Of Value? What About Six? Five? Come On, Guys!
Fox News Creep Just Wondering If Nancy Pelosi Wanted Her Jan. 6 Close-Up
What If 'Lady Macbeth' Pulled A 'Paul Is Dead' With John Fetterman?
Famous Creationist Decries Kentucky Governor's 'Disregard' Of 'Science'
Why Trump Would Probably Blow Up The World Before Accepting Primary Loss To Gov. Pudding Fingers
The Symbol On The Left Is Not A Letter, Sir? Tabs, Mon., March 27, 2023
Wonkette Weekend Chat: Charter Schools, Free Of Pronouns And David's Junk
Wisconsin School Kids Can't Even Sing Songs About Freakin' Rainbows Anymore
How Will Bill Gates Track Missouri Residents Without Vaccine Microchips?
Idaho Republicans Take Brave Stand Against 'Woke' Tampons In Schools
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Got Some Positive Moves For You
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Blood Money!
Why, O Why, Won't Liberal Professors Please Save Republican Party From Itself?
Should A Blunt And A Minor Traffic Violation Cost You Your Kids?
Trump Privilege Claims Dropkicked In Every Court In DC, And Yet He Persisted
Lotta Pro-Death 'Pro-Life' Folks Out There
Nikki Haley Roams Post-Apocalypse Hellscape That Was Once An Unwoke Nation Called America
Guess We Won't Be Driving Around On ExxonMobil Algae Fuel, Then
Gun Control Laws Are So The Holocaust, Michigan GOP Chair Insists
Kyrsten Sinema Was Worried Some Democrats Didn't Hate Her Yet
French Bistro Shelves In The Kitchen! Tabs, Fri., March 24, 2023
Ron DeSantis Clarifies That Putin Is Bad, Please Put In The Newspaper That He Said Bad
Florida Bill Doing Best To Out-Worst All Other Bans On Gender-Affirming Care
We Think We Found The Guy Inciting The Violence, It's The Same Guy As Last Time
Tallahassee Principal Axed Over 'Pornographic' Statue Of David Shown In Art Class
Appeals Court Agrees That Trump Too Crimey-Fraudy To Assert Privilege Over Lawyer's Testimony
'Humiliated' Cops Sue Afroman Over Song About Them Raiding His Home For No Reason
LIVE: Let's Watch Republicans Yell 'Woke!' At Pentagon Officials And Call It Oversight
100 Year Old Lady At Florida School Board Better Patriot Than All Book Banners Put Together
Li'l Nebraska State Sen Lady Machaela Cavanaugh Sets Up Early Bid For BADASS OF THE YEAR!
Tucker Is SOOOOO SURE, You Guys, Like, UGH, WHATEVER!
6 Routine Cleaning Tasks That Could Prevent a Major Home Disaster! Tabs, Thurs., March 23, 2023
Republican Congressman Mad At Fraudulent Nut Milk
LIVE: What Fresh Tyrannies Shall The White House Announce Today?
Is Sh*t Hitting Fan In Trump Classified Docs Case Right Now Too?
NYC Mayor Eric Adams Gonna Defund Nerdy Libraries Only Loser Geeks Use Anyway
Supreme Court Unanimously Gets Thing ... Right?
Florida LGBTQ Hate Bills Want Some Bigot To Have 'Parental Rights' Over Everybody Else's Children
Woke Joe Biden's Woke Veto Saves Woke Capitalists! Let The Woke Investment Rumpus Begin!
Ron DeSantis Says Trump Can Call Him Names As Long As One Of Them Is 'Winner.' Tee Hee Hee!
F**k School Shootings. F**k Guns. F**k Rand Paul.
Give ALL The Special Ed Aides Eat: LA Teachers On Strike!
Charlie Kirk Says They Are Gonna Arrest Us So Hard If We Arrest Trump! Eventually!
Should Biden, FDA Just Ignore Upcoming Rightwing Hack Abortion-Pill-Banning Judge Ruling?
Freestanding Kitchens! 13 Unfitted Kitchen Ideas! Tabs, Wed., March 22, 2023
Trump's Current Elite Strike Force Of Lawyers Very Elite, Super Strikey
Planet Earth Is One Hot Mama, And That Just Might Save Us
White House Briefing Probably Just Journos Asking If Trump Arrested Yet
Fox Producer Sues For Allll The Discrimination
Dana Perino: 'Woke' Is A Sense, A Feeling, A Wreath Of Pretty Flowers Which Smell Bad
Sounds Like Somebody Should Investigate Congressional Hunter Biden Enthusiast GOP Rep. James Comer
New York Times, Fresh Out Of Mirrors, Tries To Solve Why US Invaded Iraq Whodunnit!
Virginia Deputies Charged With Murder After Smothering To Death Mentally Ill Black Man
Nikki Haley Pledges Allegiance To MAGA And The Desperation For Which She Stands
Noted Bible Explainer Alan Dershowitz Says Prosecuting Trump VERY VERY Un-Bible!
The Article That Can Make You Feel Happier Almost Instantly! Tabs, Tues., March 21, 2023
Ron DeSantis Troubled By TRUMP PEENER PORN STAR HUSH MONEY LOL Witch Hunt, So Very Troubled
LIVE: Peter Doocy's White House Questions Only Get Dumber From Here On Out
Who Is Posie Parker And Why Is She The Worst?
A Pence Worth Of Courage Isn't Much
Iran Hostage Figure Honors Carter By Reminding Us That Ronald Reagan Was Really, Really Bad
How We Can Replace Kyrsten Sinema ... With A Democrat!
Death Not Good Enough Reason To Get Paroled In Alabama
Let's All Smile And Nod At MAGA Threats That Prosecuting Trump Will Make Him Boss Of Us Forever
Ted Cruz Recalls Time Dr. Fauci Closed Gyms, Bars, Restaurants While Dancing On Puppy Graves
Charter Schools No Joke, Unless They’re The Villain On ABC’s 'Abbott Elementary'
Gee, Wonder Why This Idaho Hospital Had To Quit Delivering Babies!
Is Donald Trump Too Big To Indict?
How To Create A Dreamy English Cottage Garden! Tabs, Mon., March 20, 2023
Why The Right Can't Define 'Woke'
Almost 80% Of Americans Think Teachers Should Make At Least 60K A Year
Wonkette Movie Night: School Of Rock
Is Your Moisturizer Making Daily Wire Hosts Want To Kill People In Front Of You?
Surely Trump Wants His Followers To 'TAKE OUR NATION BACK' In A Peaceful, Zip-Tie-Free Way
9 South Carolina Republicans Graciously Turn Against Death Penalty For Abortion
Top Of The Wonkette Top Ten Stories Of The Week To You!
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Blood Orange Margaritas!
We Never Thought We'd Live To See Gavin Newsom Turning San Quentin Into Norwegian-Style Prison
Joe Biden Just Throwing Affordable Insulin At America Like Paper Towels After A Hurricane
Insane Weirdo Donald Trump Has New Video To Scare Your Grandchildren, Vote For Trump!
Month After MSU Campus Shootings, Michigan Dems Pass New Gun Control Bills
If Period Discussions In Health Class Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will ... What The HELL FLORIDA?
Conservatives Are Stuck In The Allegory Of The Woke Cave
Peggy Noonan And The Case Of Gutter Punk Ron DeSantis
Wowwww Everyone Saying Wokey McBankFace Gave Black Lives Matter $73M Is A Goddamn Liar
Mean Federal Court Still Won't Let Ron DeSantis Cast Woke Demons Out Of Colleges
Six Things Former Presidents Aren't Allowed To Do After Office! Tabs, Fri., March 17, 2023
What Can Gettr Do To Get You Into A Brand New Set Of Deluxe Unvaccinated Sperms Today?
LIVE: Your Daily Press Woking, At The Woke House!
Ron DeSantis, Pudding Fingerer
Why Must We Force Ben Shapiro To Explain To Us That Feeding Children Won't Help Child Hunger?
INTERNATIONAL BANKING PANIC EVERYBODY FLEEEEEE!
Trump Did THREE Perfect Calls To Overturn Georgia? Go To Three Prisons!
LIVE: Janet Yellen Explains How Woke Pronouns Took Down Entire Global Banking System. Or Not.
Biden's Woke Water Will Deny Americans 'Forever Chemicals' Their Bodies Crave
Florida Republicans Ban Icky, Divisive Pride Flag, OK With Loving, Inclusive Confederate Flag
Big Large Normal Height Guy Ben Shapiro Calling Little Girls Stupid Now
22 Powder Room Ideas That Pack Style Into A Small Space! Tabs, Thurs., March 16, 2023
If You're In Trouble Or Hurt Or Need, Go To Poor People.
Ron DeSantis Takes Break From Punching Queer Kids, Gives Immigrant Kids Their Turn
Trump Media Company Taking Money From Russian Cutouts? No, No, That Can't Be Right!
Ron DeSantis Takes Brave Stand Against Drag Queen Christmas Boobies At The Miami Hyatt
Minnesota Republican Unable To Stop Communist Governor From Giving Kids Food
Is Tucker Malfunctioning? Is It The Woke Banks' Fault? Can Somebody Restart Tucker?
Anti-Woke Book Author Bethany Mandel Blindsided By Liberal Trick Question, 'What Is Woke?'
None Of These Woke Appliances Can Handle My Ginormous MAGA Dumps!
Oklahoma Republicans: Won't Someone Think Of Spanking The Disabled Children?
Joe Biden Coming To Take Your Guns Away. Yes, *Again*.
George Santos Is (Maybe) Running For Re-Election. Please Give Him Money, If You Are Dumb!
LORD KNOWS WHAT KIND OF WOKE ROMPINGS WENT ON IN THAT BANK!
Easter Desserts That Will Complete Your Holiday Meal! Tabs, Wed., March 15, 2023
Will Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk Outlaw Medication Abortion Tomorrow? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Joe Biden: Ron DeSantis Going To Hell For Bullying Trans Kids (OK, It's *Implied*)
Ron DeSantis Can March His Little White Boots In Lockstep With Putin, Just Like Trump And Tucker!
Civil Rights Hero Nancy Mace Just Wants Jan. 6 Suspects Treated With A Little Compassion, You Know?
Elizabeth Warren Said This Bank F*ckbungle Would Happen, Maybe Let's Listen To Her This Time?
Do Banks Fail Because They're Too Nice To Gays? Is That How The Financial System Works?
Trump To Mike Pence: WHY ARE YOU MURDERING YOURSELF WHY ARE YOU MURDERING YOURSELF?
Ben Shapiro So Good At Knowing About Sex And Bodies And Stuff
If Everything Is Everywhere All At Once, Are You Even Here Right Now? Tabs, Tues., March 14, 2023
Fox News, Random Fools Upset Angela Bassett Didn't Smile More When Losing Oscar
New Mexico May End Life Without Parole Sentences For Children ... If They Can Find Them
'Fox & Friends' Idiot Ainsley Earhardt Just Saying Maybe It Is Time For BANK RUN!11!1!1!
Let's Talk About Michelle Yeoh And Merle Oberon
We Interrupt Your Regular Programing With GOP's Tech Clown Candidate
Mike Pence Plans To Win The White House With Hilarious Bigot Stand Up Routine
Right-Wing Cultural Shut-Ins Didn't Like The Oscars Very Much, Breaking News
Chris Rock Slaps Back At Jada Pinkett Smith, Who Never Actually Slapped Anyone
Jordan Peterson Thinks Fetish Porn Is Real Life
Tech Millionaire's Indecent Proposal To Woman On Plane: Remove Your Mask For $100,000!
Ben Shapiro's Tradwife Sister OBLITERATED Feminism And Now We Have To Go Back To The Kitchen
Why Even George Bailey Couldn't Save Silicon Valley Bank
How To Tell If Your Cat Loves You, According To Science! Tabs, Mon., March 13, 2023
Here, Have An Oscars Open Thread!
Child Labor, Child Brides, 36-Year-Old Grandmas: This Is The Future The Right Wants
Spring Forward To Liza Minnelli's Birthday!
What Caused The SVB Collapse? Could It Be ... WOKENESS?
Wonkette Movie Night: Cat Ballou
Male Instacart Shopper Conscientiously Objects To Buying Menstrual Products
Is Satan Making You Mock Jim Bakker's Food Buckets?
Florida To Make Rape Victims Show 'Proof' Before They Can Get An Abortion
Was George Santos The Dashing ATM Robber Gentleman Bandit?
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Basically The Pope Now
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Snowdrop!
Ohio's Got A Plan To Pay Neo-Nazi Homeschoolers $22K A Year
Source Of Fox Rigged Election Claim Your Typical Election Expert Who Says She's A Ghost
Minnesota Nice Time: Give Us Your Trans Refugees, America
Dems Call For Moratorium On Federal Agencies Spying On Your Face
What Is 'Right-To-Work'? Why Does It Suck? What Is Big Gretch Doing To Murderize It In Michigan?
Glenn Youngkin Cares About All The Children, So Long As They Are Straight And White And Not Icky
Joe Biden's 2024 Menu: The Rich.
30 Inspiring Butler's And Kitchen Pantries, Old And New! Tabs, Fri., March 10, 2023
Alex Jones Hiding Assets? UNPOSSIBLE!
West Virginia Republicans Will Not Be Denied Their Child Brides
LIVE: Look Who's Releasing His Budget Like Some Kind Of 'The President Of America'
With 300 Lawyers Watching Closely, Elon Musk Apologizes For Mocking Disabled Worker
Repro Rights Roundup: Things At Least Going Well In California, Michigan, And France!
LIVE: Jim Jordan's House Un-American Fap-Tivities Committee Tries Again
Markwayne Mullin, There's No Fighting In Here, This Is The War Room!
Inside DOJ's SHOCKING Discovery That Louisville Police Kinda Racist!
News Side Of Fox News Not Handling All This Icky News About Fox News Very Well
How Much Popular Grocery Store Items Cost The Year You Were Born! Tabs, Thurs., March 9, 2023
Three Stories About GOP Oversight Chair James Comer That Aren't Even About Hunter Biden's Penis
Oops, Small-Town Michigan Schools Forgot To Teach Deaf Kid For 12 Years, Now He Can't Communicate
AR Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders Psyched To Get The Government Out Of Child Labor Laws
Looks Like Pennsylvania's Not Finished Voting Against Doug Mastriano!
The Race To Fill Adam Schiff's House Seat Is On And Includes The Guy From 'Boy Meets World'
Maria Bartiromo Is Scared And Sad! And More LOL Highlights From Last Night's Fox News Document Dump!
But What Have We Done For You Lately?
Uh Oh, Idaho MAGA Found Some Woke, It Is In This 6000-Student Tech Training Community College
Biden Assembles Re-Election Dream Team Of Democratic All Stars ... And Eric Adams
Bless Nikki Haley's Heart, She Tried
Tucker Hates Trump 'Passionately.' Trump May Not Have Heard That News Yet.
Daily Wire Guy Saw Black People In Memphis And He Got Scared
Walmart Closes Stores In 'Woke' Portland And Republicans Have Very Serious, Made-Up Reasons Why
NYC Mayor Eric Adams: Some Dumb Bullsh*t About Face Masks And CRIME!
Everybody Hates Tucker's January 6 Sedition Porn Recruitment Video, Even Republican Senators
Step Right Up, It's Your Tuesday White House Press Briefing!
Joe Biden's Wild Idea To Save Medicare: Tax The Rich Instead Of Cutting Benefits
Today On Megyn Kelly's FEDERAL OFFENSE: 'Today' Show Lady Went Home Sick From Work
Gavin Newsom Dumping Walgreens And Any Other Cowards That Cave To Anti-Abortion Fascists
Forgotten '90s Fashion Trends We're Still Obsessing Over! Tabs, Tues., March 7, 2023
Golly, Donald Trump Sounds Very Upset With Rupert Murdoch
Kansas Bill Would Reward Businesses Paying Disabled People Less Than Minimum Wage
Elon Musk's Twitter An Awesome Dumpster Fire Of Suck
Another Week Of Educational White House Press Briefings Begins NOW!
Should Fox News Call Elections Based On Numbers Or Feelings? Journalism Is Tough!
Right-Wing Prudes Gonna Keep Pretending Drag Was Invented Like Eight Minutes Ago
Daily Wire Gonna Sue All Media For Libelslandering Their Hate Hustler With Direct Quotes
Hurricane Or Tornado? Trump Or DeSantis? These Are All Crappy Options.
Kari Lake Far Too Busy Governing Arizona To Be Trump's Running Mate
Joe Biden Marches For Truth In Selma
27 Fancy Appetizers That Are Secretly Really Easy To Make! Tabs, Mon., March 6, 2023
Updating The Classics: Censorship Or Capitalism?
Trump Offers To Be The Right's 'Retribution' Against Us In CPAC Speech
Wonkette Movie Night: Raising Arizona
Not Robert Kennedy Jr. Announcing He Might Run For President
Katie Hobbs Cancels Scheduled Execution Just Because Arizona Keeps Botching Them
In Which Tucker Carlson Weeps For Poor Andrew Tate
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week ... Wish You A Happy Benjamin Harrison Day?
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Tokyo Rose!
CPAC Guy Wants To Turn Our Children's Schools Into Sordid S&M Clubs
Nice Time: Immigrants Having Great Time On Martha's Vineyard, Thanks Ron DeSantis!
Here Is Our Registration To Blog In Florida, Mister Knucklef*ck Sh*thead State Senator, Sir
Guess We're Not Shopping At Walgreens Anymore
House Dems Pin Jim Jordan In 'Amateur Hour' House 'Weaponization' Subcommittee
Red States About Five Minutes Away From Legalized Lynching Of Trans People
Jan 6 Defendants Passing Time By Recording Crappy Duets With Donald Trump
Alex Murdaugh Found Guilty, Duh.
When Congress Almost Did Well By The Newly Freed Enslaved People!
Montana Weirdos Fail To Ban Vaccinated People From Donating Blood
Edible Landscaping Tips For Beginners! Tabs, Fri., March 3, 2023
Landlord Successfully Hunger Strikes For Landlord Rights, Can Now Throw Family Out On The Street
How'd You Like A Nice, Relaxing White House Press Briefing?
Tennessee Gov. Bill Lee Gonna Ban All The Drag, 'Cause That's The Kinda Ignorant Bigot He Is
It's Been A Good Week And A Bad Week For Organized Labor
Joe Biden Prepares His First Veto, And Joe Manchin And Jon Tester Helped!
Why Is Joe Biden Persecuting Catholics, And Who The Hell Is 'White Martyr' Mark Houck? An Explainer!
Paul Ryan Just Waiting Patiently For His Not-Trump Prince To Come Rescue GOP
Republicans Choo Choo Choose To Ignore Rail Safety
Dilbert Guy Could've Just Not Been Racist. Not Everyone Who Faced Cancellation Had It So Easy.
Still Some Trump Idiots Working At The FBI, Sounds Like
50 Amazing Outdoor Spaces You Will Never Want To Leave! Tabs, Thurs., March 2, 2023
This Year's CPAC Doesn't Sound Like Very Schlappin' Good Time To Us
Eli Lilly: GIVE EVERYBODY EAT! (And By 'Eat' We Mean $35 Insulin!)
Eric Adams Proves That Our Prayers For A Normal NYC Mayor Remain Unanswered
Oversight Chair James Comer Wonders When Prosecutors Will Lock Up ... Beau Biden???
Joe Biden Wants To Kick 13-Year-Old Slaughterhouse Cleaners Out Of Their Jobs
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot Loses Re-Election Bid, So Which Sucker Will Replace Her?
LIVE: Merrick Garland, You're The Next Contestant On 'What The Hell Is Going On Over There?'
Supreme Court 'Skeptical' Of Student Debt Relief, If You Can Believe That!
All Fun And Games Until Congressional Witnesses Start Pants-ing Matt Gaetz On C-SPAN
20 Outstanding Architectural Designs You Should See! Tabs, Wed., March 1, 2023
Florida State Senator Wants To 'Cancel' The Democratic Party, Like They Need His Help
PENNSYLVANIA HOUSE CLUSTERFU ... Wait, Actually, Power Transfer All Quite Civilized!
SC State Senator: ‘Damn Right I Ordered The Screw You Yankee Tax!’
Giant Flake Marianne Williamson Ain't No 'Major Democrat.' What's Wrong With You, AP?
Socialist Joe Biden Forces Tech Companies To Provide Daycare Options To Get CHIPS Act $$
James Comer Announces Plan To Turn Oversight Committee Into Benghazi-Dick Pic-Cancel Culture-Palooza
Marjorie Taylor Greene So Sad The People She Hates Don't Like Her Very Much
What Good Arguments Will Supreme Court Ignore In Student Debt Relief Case?
Michigan, Meet Your Next Democratic Senator Elissa Slotkin!
Having F*cked Around, Dildo Guy Scott Adams Finds Out. Hard.
Angela Davis Descended From Mayflower Colonizers Isn't 'Gotcha!' Some Idiots Seem To Think
No UFOs Or Movie Reviews Expected At Today's White House Press Briefing!
NY Times Exposé: Migrant Child Laborers Taking US Children's Dangerous Jobs
President Donald Trump Kept America Safe From Threat Of Jimmy Kimmel Laughing At Him
Krysten Sinema's $$$ Security Detail Just Tulsi Gabbard's Sister ... We're Sure That's Legit.
Jeb Bush Luvs Ron DeSantis, Kissyface Emoji, Exclamation Point
Republican 2024 Loyalty Pledge As Enforceable As All Trump's Other Contracts
Welcome To South Carolina! Now Pay Your Carpetbagging 'Yankee' Tax.
Could Two-Time Killer Kyle Rittenhouse Finally Receive Tiny Bit Of Justice He Deserves?
Kevin McCarthy Launches Totally Legit Bipartisan 'Kick Democrats Off Committees' Task Force!
It's Raining Men ... Hallelujah? Tabs, Mon., Feb. 27, 2023
Marjorie Taylor Greene's Secession Sequel
I've Got A Movie Idea For You, Woody Harrelson
Nebraska Dem Just Gonna Filibuster Eeeeeeeeverything
Dilbert Guy Explains He Is Just Doing The Mike Pence Rule, But With Black People
Florida Republicans Claim COVID-19 Vax Is A 'Bioweapon,' Demand DeSantis 'Ban The Jab'
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Are Your Long-Lost Children
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Piña Colada!
Ron DeSantis And Pals Have Flawless Bill To Turn Florida Universities Into Right-Wing Diploma Mills
QAnon Lady Begs Trump To Save Her Convicted Child Molester Son
Gosh, Wonder Why Arizona's Republican AG Sat On Report Showing No Vote Fraud?
Ron DeSantis Wants To Fight The Kids. Let's See How That One Works Out For Him.
Repro Roundup: Forced Birthers Not So 'Pro-Life' After All, Part 4,252,337
Hello! I, Vladimir Putin, Will Have Revenge On Joe Biden For Visiting Kyiv First!
Woke NTSB Says 'Overheated Wheel Bearing' Derailed Train, Doesn't Even Call Secretary Mayor Pete Gay
MyPillow Guy Says Kevin McCarthy Slipping Tucker J6 Tapes Is Coverup, Is Only Partially Bugf*ck
The One Million Moms Have A Not-So-Fresh Feeling About Menstruating Ladies
SCOTUS Commutes Death Row Inmate's Sentence Just Because Jury Was Lied To
Matt Gaetz Just Wants America To Stop Being Unfaithful To Him :(
Donald Trump Tosses Hamberders, Lies At East Palestine Residents' Heads, Crisis Over
Thursday White House Presser, You Better Watch!
Vanky And Jared Get Invitations To Spill The Beans To Jan. 6 Grand Jury
We Pledge Allegiance To the AR-15, With Misery And Carnage For All
Alaska GOP Lawmaker Censured For Seeing Sunny Side Of Dead Child Abuse Victims
Oh Fiddlesticks, Did Three Witches Give Charlie Kirk The Poops?
Here's Ben Stein's Moving Black History Month Tribute To Aunt Jemima. Yes, F*cking Aunt Jemima.
Old Photos That Would Never Happen Now! Tabs, Thursday Feb. 23, 2023
And Now Fox News Is Talking About Biden And (((Globalists))) Getting Rich Off Ukraine War. Subtle!
Tucker Carlson Backs Don Lemon Over 'White Liberal' Nikki Haley, So That's How Her Campaign's Going
Secretary Mayor Pete Not Having Any Of Marco Rubio's Sh*t
GA Grand Jury Foreperson Is Telling Us What We Want To Hear. She Should Stop That.
Bret Stephens: Masks Don't Work, Says Science* (*Science Does Not Say This)
Guess Hannity Thinks Marjorie Taylor Greene's 'National Divorce' Secession Sh*t Is Good For Ratings
OK, Wisconsin, Time To Send Judge Janet Protasiewicz To Your Supreme Court!
Daily Wire Dude Knows What's Slavery, It Is Gay Couples Using Egg Donors
Black History Scholar Ben Shapiro Lectures Ibram X. Kendi About Slavery
The Food Expiration Dates You Should Actually Follow! Tabs, Wed., Feb. 22, 2023
Why Is Joe Biden Doing WAR To Poor East Palestine, Ohio?
Hey, Wisconsin, Time To Start Flipping Your State Supreme Court!
Has Putin Been Reading Libs Of TikTok Or Do All Bigots Just Sound The Same?
Oh No! Roald Dahl's Publisher Made Some Really Dumb Edits And Now Free Speech Is Over
More Eggs-cruciating Details About The Nation's Egg Shortage
Let's Watch Biden's Historic Warsaw Address In Real Time!
Russian Media Having Wee Tiny Conniption Over Biden Ukraine Visit, Bless Their Hearts
College Board Made AP African American Studies Class Dumber, But Still Not Dumb Enough For Florida
Tucker-By-Numbers Reads His Russian Propaganda Mad Lib After Biden Ukraine Visit
Kathryn Hahn Steals The Show Again. Tabs, Tues., Feb. 21, 2023
James O'Keefe's Dildo Lube Boat Runs Aground Maybe For Last Time
Medical Debt Is Actually Bad. And Guess Who It's Hurting Most Of All?
Kevin McCarthy Gives Tucker Carlson J6 Tapes, Because Nothing Matters Anymore
Illinois Workers Getting Paid Leave, Just Like People In Every Other* Country On Earth
Tim Scott Prepares For 'Please Clap' Presidential Run
Let's Finally Stop Pretending Fox News Is A Real Media Outlet
Anti-Choice Leader/Aspiring Child Rapist Going To Prison For Next Five Years
Enjoy Your Rest, Mr. Carter. You’ve Earned It.
Ft. Myers Man Arrested After Disrespectfully Consuming Key Lime Pie! Tabs, Mon., Feb. 20, 2023
How J.K. Rowling Became Dolores Umbridge
Texas School Official Casually Left Gun In Third Grade Bathroom Stalls
Wonkette Movie Night: 'Barbershop'
Florida Considers 'Christian Alternative' To Heathen Liberal SATs
Let's Hope Marianne Williamson's Big News Is That She's Starting A Scented Candle MLM
Glenn Youngkin Tells Virginia Women All Your Menstruation Belong To Us
Nestlé Just Gonna Keep Jacking Prices Up Forever And Ever And Ever (At Least Until 2024)
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Put On A Really Big Show
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Rufty Tufty!
Texas AG Ken Paxton Sues Joe Biden For 'Signed Law Ken Paxton Doesn't Like'
Boy, Those Fox News Texts, I Don't Know
PSA: It Is Possible To Talk About Women You Don't Like Without Being Sexist About It
Just Because 'Communist Lunch' Isn't Real Doesn't Mean It's Not True!
Peggy Noonan Converses With Giant Talking Statue, And One Of Them Makes Sense
Gov. Josh Shapiro Wants To Kill The Death Penalty In Pennsylvania
John Fetterman Hospitalized For Depression, Everybody Awesome About It If You Ignore GOP
Celebs Who Got Addicted To Drugs As Child Actors! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 17, 2023
Formerly Incarcerated People Just Want To Be Able To Live And Work Somewhere
House Republicans Decide On 'Policy' To Support, Surprise, It Is F*ck The Poors
Nikki Haley Already Forgetting To Run Against Donald Trump, What A Goof!
Will White House Tell Us The Balloon Secrets In Today's Press Briefing?
Montana Republicans Will Not Let You Slander Christopher Columbus Just Because It's True!
Whom Are We Jailing For Doing Democracy Now?
Tucker's Favorite Russian Propaganda Dispenser Fluffing Putin For Charlie Kirk Now
Environmentalists At The Gates
Yeah, So Nikki Haley Has Pretty Much Always Sucked
GENTLE SUGGESTION: Maybe Judge Boxwine Not Very Good At Job
New York Times Contributors Politely Request Paper Unf**k Its Coverage Of Trans People
7 Gorgeous Feathered Hairstyles For Every Hair Length! Tabs, Thurs., Feb. 16, 2023
HAPPY SCHLAPP-ENTINES DAY, Y'ALL!
Trump's Lawyers Continue Pattern Of Bad Faith F*ckery In E. Jean Carroll Defamation Case
Gun-Happy Indiana Republicans All Set To Help Teachers Lock And Load In Class!
Dianne Feinstein Fought Like Hell To Get The Truth Out About CIA Torture
Trump's Killing Fantasies Escalating To Group Executions And Guillotines If He's President Again
Can Liberals Claim Wisconsin Supreme Court Majority? God, We Hope So!
Chelsea Handler Is Happy Without Kids And Mediocre White Sexist Conservative Dudes Cannot Deal
Perhaps We Could Improve Railroad Safety Somewhat?
Republicans Still Lying Like Liars About Democrats, Biden, School Closures
We Are Too Busy Laughing At Needy Loser Elon Musk To Write A Proper Headline Right Now
How Joe Biden Almost Had Cocktails With A Queen On Super Bowl Sunday
All The Heated Texts Released From The Royal Family Rift! Tabs, Wed., Feb. 15, 2023
‘America, It’s Bad. I’m Nikki Haley.’
Mike Pence Has Some Good F-ing Lawyers
School Shootings: Five Years Since Parkland, 19 And A Half Hours Since Michigan State
Mississippi Might Just Oust Gov. Tate Reeves For Elvis Presley* (Technically His Democratic Cousin)
Tuesday White House Briefing, LEARN THINGS!
Elon Restricting Ukrainian Military's Internet Because Of This Russian Propaganda He Swallowed
How Worried Should We Be About Ohio's MurderTrain Crash? For Starters, Don't Call It A MurderTrain
Megyn Kelly Likes Her National Anthems Like She Likes Her Santa And Her Jesus
Arkansas GOP Senator, Possibly World's Worst Person, Just Wondering If Trans Woman Doctor Has Penis
Ron DeSantis Just Might Cut Off The College Board To Spite Florida Students' Faces
School Children Taught 'Empathy,' What Godless Nonsense Is This?!
Charlie Kirk Pretty Sure Balloons Just Biden UFO False Flags To Scare Him Into Obeying
Why It's Such A Lovely Day To Have To Always Feel This Way. Tabs, Tues., Feb. 14, 2023
Did You Need More Proof Trump Knew There Was No Fraud? Okay, WaPo Brought You Some.
Romney Campaign Consultant Definitely Not Deluded About What The People Want
Happy Monday, Time To Get Briefed!
Sunday Shows: Post-State Of The Union Rundown
How Helpful Are The Police Really?
MAGA Republicans Being Weird And Racist About Super Bowl, Don't Faint
Gotta Love Joe Biden, Mitch McConnell's Tag-Team Bipartisan Rick Scott Pantsing
Wyoming Republicans Fight For Their 'Constitutional Right' To Marry Children
2024 Is Probably Biden-Trump Rematch. Deal.
College Board MAYBE Suggesting Ron DeSantis Lyin’ POS Who Hates Education, Black History
What Is Cluttercore? Find Out Now! Tabs, Mon., Feb. 13, 2023
Wonkette Weekend Chat: Why Marjorie Taylor Greene Is A Supervillain Not 'White Trash'
Everyone Super Excited For Our Yearly Satanic Illuminati Ritual?
'Why Hath Disney And Chick-fil-A Forsaken Us?' Fox Columnists Cry Desperately Into The Night
Dear Shitferbrains: How Can You Claim Racist Slurs Are Just As Bad As MURDERRRR?
Please Don't Call The Cops On Kids Smoking Pot In The Park, Okay?
Wonkette Culture Club With Your Favorite Gwyneth Paltrow Mocker, Lisa Timmons!
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Just Legendary
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Cocoa Negroni!
Montana Landord-Legislators Agree To Make Evictions Easier, For Good Of All (Landlords)
Minnesota, Connecticut Say All Kids Eat Free (At School, Anyway)
Mike Pence Gets Subpoenaed. Finally!
I'm Rick Scott And I Do Not Want To End Social Security And Medicare, Pinky Swear.
US Waives Sanctions To Speed Earthquake Aid To Syria
Trump Judges, Bad Abortion Laws, And 'Pro-Life' Spiderman
George Santos Accused Of Scamming Amish Out Of Puppies. Seriously.
Elon Fires Engineer For Saying PERHAPS People Not Liking His Tweets Because People Not Liking Him
Sounds like James O'Keefe's Dildo Lube Boat Up A Creek Without A Paddle
6 Pink Spirits To Try This Valentine's Day! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 10, 2023
If You Play This Harry Potter Game, Are You Hitler?
'Marjorie Taylor Greene Is White Trash' Is Bad And James Carville Should Feel Bad
CO Election Loon Tina Peters Accuses Prosecutors Of Double Murder, NBD
Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders Unveils Education Plan: Hike Teacher Pay, Wreck Public Schools
LIVE: House Un-American Activities Committee Holds First Hearing
Tucker's SOTU Commentary Mostly Just Nazi-Style Lies About Democrats Killing And Mutilating Children
Missouri Republicans Vote In Favor Of Gun-Toting Children
Montana Republican's Bill Banning 'Scientific Theories' In Schools Every Bit As Dumb As It Sounds
Trump Smacks Ron DeSantis With Some Groomer On Groomer Violence
Trump Tattling To Twitter Over Mean Chrissy Teigen Tweet Just Tip Of 'Pussy Ass Bitch' Iceberg
Woman Refuses To Take Bag Off Seat, Gets Taught Lesson! Tabs, Thurs., Feb. 9, 2023
James Comer Tells DOJ No Fair, He Saw Hunter Biden’s Dick First!
Censorship Is 'Vulgar.' Queer-Themed Plays In High Schools Are Not.
Mitt Romney: George Santos Should Sit Down, Shut Up, Leave Congress
Joe Biden's Top Five State Of The Union Recipes For Eating The Rich!
All Fun And Games Until Biden Pants-es Rick Scott And Mike Lee With America Watching
LIVE: Can We Keep This Hunter Biden's Penis Hearing About Hunter Biden's Penis?
Monster Memphis Cop Texted Trophy Photos Of Tyre Nichols's Battered Body
The Egg-onomic Truth About Joe Biden's Egg-Flation!
GREAT IDEA IOWA! Let Children Work Dangerous Jobs And Then Give Their Employers Civil Immunity!
Sarah Huckabee Sanders Delivers The Christian Fascist White Grievance Incel Shut-In SOTU Response
8 Secrets Of People Whose Houses Smell Amazing! Tabs, Wed., Feb. 8, 2023
The State Of Our Union Is ... BLOGGED!
Benny Johnson Says Biden Gonna Do Devil Stuff At SOTU Just Like Sam Smith Did Devil Stuff At Grammys
Ben Shapiro's Wet Ass Racist Trolley Problem
Is There Any Russian Propaganda Useful Imbecile Elon Musk Won't Fall For?
Republicans Gonna LOCK HER UP The FBI For Crime Of ... Not Letting Parents Threaten Teachers
You Lousy Ingrates Don't Deserve Joe Biden!
Cripple Creek, When The Governor Told The Bosses To F*ck All The Way Off!
Mike Pence Sews Up 2024 GOP Nomination With Hot New Idea: 'Privatize Social Security'
Tucker Has Idea For Biden Judicial Picks, It Is WHAT ABOUT SOME WHITE MEN?
Kevin McCarthy Crying Fat Hot Baby Tears Before Joe Biden's SO MEAN State Of The Union
'Pet Psychic' Has Incontrovertible Proof Dead Pets Are Watching You From Beyond The Grave
Atomwaffen Founder And Girlfriend Arrested In Plot To 'Destroy' Baltimore
Get Ready To Take Notes, It's Your Monday White House Press Briefing
Chinese Spy Balloons Are Bad. Republican Screeching Is Worse.
Marjorie Taylor Greene Hates Job, Wants More Money, Should Quit
Wonkette Bonus Chat: Why We Shouldn't Surrender Florida To Ron DeSantis
250 People Fight For Possibly Spoiled Dumpster Food During Power Outage In Greg Abbott's Texas
Usual Suspects So Mad Sam Smith And Kim Petras LITERALLY Summoned Satan During Grammys
'Principled' 9/11 Terrorists Make Great Role Models, Says 'Pro-Life' Activist
Reagan-Loving Republicans Can't Quite Put Finger On Why Their Party Went So Trumpy
George Santos Already Being Accused Of Sexual Harassment, If You Can Believe That
South Carolina, Get Ready For Your Democratic Primary Close-Up!
The True Story About The Man Behind Chef Boyardee! Tabs, Mon., Feb. 6, 2023
Wonkette Weekend Chat: Don't Impress Your Coworkers By Giving Them The Flu
Thank You, George Santos, For Reminding Me I Willingly Saw 'Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark'
Wonkette Movie Night: Groundhog Day
Oh Christ, Now Elon Musk Wants To Charge Businesses $1000 A Month For Fancy Gold Checkmarks
Ron DeSantis Takes War On Drag To The Orlando Philharmonic
Oil Giant BP: Don't Worry, Oil Totally Going Away!
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Out Of This World
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Bottom Dollar Sour!
Senate Dems' Crazy Idea: Maybe Gun Manufacturers Shouldn't Be Marketing To Kids?
Fifth Circuit Defends Sacred Right Of Wife Beaters To Carry Guns
Missing Monkeys Found, Are Back At Zoo Getting Snuggly
Look At All These F*cking Jerbs!
Hi, I'm The Chinese Spy Balloon! Please Continue Going About Your Day, Citizens!
Repro Rights Roundup: The Mifepristone Wars
Tennessee To Only Prevent/Treat HIV/AIDS In *Nice* People, Not Those Sinners
Oh No, Are The Drag Queens Going To Be Dictators?
Idaho GOPer Wants Kids To Work For Their Tater Tots
14 Culinary Ideas To Fall In Love With For Valentine's Day Dinner! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 3, 2023
Dear Shitferbrains: As Any Fool Knows, College Is Not For Encouraging Freethinking
Automakers All In On New EV Battery Factories. Thanks, Joe Biden! And Joe ... Manchin?
Hunter Biden's Laptop Bites Back
'The Dr. Phil Show' Ends Two-Decade Long Reign Of Daytime TV Terror
It's A White House Press Briefing! It's A Big F*ckin' Deal!
Kevin McCarthy Went To A Gay-Hatin' Trans-Hatin' Christian Fascist Hootenanny Yesterday!
It's Such A Perfect Day (For You To Start Supporting Your Beloved Wonkette!)
Happy Black History Month From The College Board!
Republicans Gonna DEFUND ‘WOKE’! (Plus Your Social Security And Medicare)
This Is Just Like What They Did To The Tutsis, Said Tucker About MSNBC Being Mean To White People
Oh No Serial Murderer Maxine Waters Has Serial Murdered Again!
96 Surprising Ways To Clean With Household Items! Tabs, Thurs., Feb. 2, 2023
Marjorie Taylor Greene On Congressional Committees Is Real And It Is Amaaaaaaazing
New York Times *Loves It* Some Goose-Stepping Dictator Ron DeSantis!
Kevin McCarthy Secures Republican Votes To Hurl A Bunch More Racism At Ilhan Omar
How Scary Is Trump Video About Trans People On Scale Of Yikes! To Hitler?
Ron DeSantis Gets To Work Dismantling 'College'
Nikki Haley Gonna Be President, Except For Part Where She Finishes Last In South Carolina Primary
First They Came For Newsmax. What Next? The Weather Channel And 'Ancient Aliens' And Jesus?
Memphis Cops Who Killed Tyre Nichols Lied Their Asses Off In Police Report
Ron DeSantis Has Questions About Your Daughter's Tampon
Pick Your Debt Ceiling Fighter: Joe Biden Or Kevin '15th Time's The Charm' McCarthy!
From Michelle Obama's Thighs To 'Where's George Floyd When You Need Him,' Tucker Is Losing HIS MIND
Ron DeSantis Book Censorship Empties School Libraries, Makes Little Kids Cry
10 Best Michigan Family Winter Vacations For 2023! Tabs, Wed., Feb. 1, 2023
Arizona State Senator Named WADSACK Will Ban All The Drag Queens, That's Right, WADSACK
White House Plans To End COVID Emergency In May, Good Luck!
George Santos Agrees To Take Paycheck For No Work
Hey Jim Jordan, We Got Your Weaponized FBI Right Here, His Name Is Bill Barr
Republicans Busy Doing Nothing Quickly About Their Trump 2024 Problem
In Need Of More Murders, Florida Shoots For No-Permit Gun Carry Bill
Jim Jordan: Ingrates Chased Away All Good Cops By Demanding They Not Kill Us
David DePape's 'Bizarre' Rant Largely Indistinguishable From Regular Conservative Rants
Unpacking Sienna Miller’s Eclectic 'Boardroom-Boho' Look. Tabs, Tues, Jan. 31, 2023
Time To Refresh Yourself On Trump, Stormy Daniels And The Case Of The Porn Peener Payoffs!
BREAKING: Kari Lake Still Not Governor
Weirdo President Biden Doing Infrastructure Speech About Actual Infrastructure
Minnesota Enshrines Reproductive Rights Into The Law
NEWS ALERT: Megyn Kelly Being Asshole Again
New Mexico Bill Would End Life Without Parole For Children, Which Is Somehow A Thing
WonkTV: In Which No One Freaks Out Over Right-Wing Freakouts
Trump Says Windmills Destroying Airplanes Now, So That's A Real Bummer
Are Cops Just Too Broke, Stressed Out To Avoid Killing Black People?
Let's Look At What Police Actually Do, By The Numbers
Sen. Kyrsten Sinema Always Looking Out For Struggling Constituents, Like Kyrsten Sinema
Police Diversity Won't Stop Police Brutality
Seniors Don't Cook Their Own Meals Anymore, They Do This Instead! Tabs, Mon., Jan. 30, 2023
Wonkette Weekend Chat: We Have To Talk About Tyre Nichols
Utah Gov. Bans Life-Saving Care For Trans Youth Upon Advice Of Non-Existent 'Experts'
Wonkette Movie Night: Bringing Up Baby
Demons Serenaded Me With Rihanna Jams During Brief Trip To Hell, Pastor Claims
The Problem With Police Reform Is That Police Already Know It's Bad To Beat People To Death
Loser Ronna Romney McDaniel Fends Off Bigger Losers, Wins
Republicans Bravely Stand By Homophobic Paul Pelosi Narrative, Video Footage Be Damned
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are The Real George Santos
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Sazerac!
Congressional Florida Man Gives Out Dummy Grenades To Fellow Republican Dummies
PSA: Tylenol Does Not Cause Autism (Or ADHD)
The Stupid, It Burns ... Books!
What Does 'Life Of The Mother' Mean? It Stumps Us All.
I'm George Santos, And How Lucky Are You To Meet Me
House GOP Would Like To Outlaw Lower Gas Prices When Joe Biden Is President, Please
Wingnuts Mad At Xbox Because Saving Energy Is 'Woke'
Deranged Fox News Hunter Biden Fantasies Gettin' Kinda Weird, Y'all. Yes, Just Now.
Movies That Audiences Walked Out Of! Tabs, Fri., Jan. 27, 2023
North Dakota Republican Declares LITTERBOX EMERGENCY. Don't Laugh At Her, She Is A Child Of God!
LIVE: Joe Biden Bragging About 'Economy' Like Common President Who Does Stuff
WHISTLEBLOW THIS: Adam Schiff Running For Senate!
What's It Like Living With Famous 'Vogue' Model George Santos? Former Roommate Tells All!
Ohio Republicans' SIXTY MILLION DOLLAR Bribery Trial Powered By Nuclear Energy
Sean Hannity Keens, Wails, Moans, Weeps About Tyranny Of Annual COVID Shot
11 Foods You're Not Cooking In Water But Should Be! Tabs, Thurs., Jan. 26, 2023
Adam Schiff Reminds That Twit Kevin McCarthy That He Got FBI's Eric Swalwell Briefing Too
Wage Gains Beat Inflation For Six Months Straight. Is That Good News For John McCain?
GOP Oversight Chair James Comer SO MAD White House Won't Let Him Bone Special Counsel Investigation
Ron DeSantis's Drunk Black History
Beware, Michigan, Gretchen Whitmer Coming To Preschool Your Four-Year-Olds!
Ohio Republicans Still In Disarray!
Senate Republicans Insist House GOP Take Lead On Debt Ceiling Talks. So We're All Doomed.
We Regret To Inform You Of Newest Biggest Problem In The World: Subway Turnstile Jumpers
Are You Dying From The COVID-19 Vaccine? Sure, We All Are.
Big Man Kevin McCarthy Kicks Schiff And Swalwell Off Intel Committee, BIG MAN!
The Baby Names Going Extinct In 2023! Tabs, Wed., Jan. 25, 2023
Trump Won An Entire Golf Tournament While He Was At Diamond's Funeral Whining. How? STAMINA!
Republicans Furious That AT&T Is Cancel Culturing Newsmax, A Vital And Profitable News Source
Booby Magazines Discovered In Mike Pence's Room, Haha JK It Was Classified Documents
Joe Manchin Weirdly Correct About A Thing
Karine Jean-Pierre Will Take Peter Doocy's Stupid Questions Now
Loyal Sinema Party Member Kyrsten Sinema's Never Gonna Be A Republican, OK?
Mike Pompeo Belittles Khashoggi Murder. Will Never Be President. Will Always Be Garbage.
Ruben Gallego Is Doing The Thing!
Florida Might Lock Up Teachers Who Expose Students To 'Unvetted' Books, With Woke Words In Them
George Santos Assassinated But Don't Worry He Got Better
Why A Hot Dog Is Really A Taco. Tabs, Tues., Jan. 24, 2023
George Santos Was Drag Queen One Time Or For Three Years, Whatever
Arizona To Pause Executions To Figure Out Why It Keeps Botching Them
Hello, Monday White House Presser!
Hakeem Jeffries To Kevin McCarthy: Wanna Fight About Adam Schiff And Eric Swalwell? Let's Go.
Joe Manchin: 'The Most Popular Republican In The Senate'
Responsible Gun Owners Responsible For Three Mass Shootings In Single Weekend
Trump Can't Wait To Snuggle With Twitter Again, Ignore Truth Social's Texts Forever
Life In Today’s MAGA World Is Rarely A Cabaret, Old Chum
Abortion Ban States Best At Killing Newborn Babies, Mothers
Florida Will Shrink Black History Until It's Small Enough To Drown In Ron DeSantis's Bathtub
Silk Suggests Physically Impossible 'Vaccine Shedding' To Blame For Diamond's Death
Kentucky GOP Club Interrupts People's Dinner For Dramatic Reenactment Of Breonna Taylor Shooting
If You Have Any Of These 20 Toys, Get Ready To Retire! Tabs, Mon., Jan. 23, 2023
Wonkette Weekend Chat: The Adventure of the Supreme Court Leaker!
VP Kamala Harris Takes Abortion Rights Battle To Florida
Wonkette Movie Night: It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
In Which The Dilbert Guy Gets Some Advice About Cars And Ladies
Let's Celebrate The 13th Anniversary Of Citizens United By Killing It Dead
Are Bill Maher's Imaginary Liberals To Blame For George Santos' Imaginary Life?
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Celebrating International Sweatpants Day
Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Lemmy!
North Dakota GOP To Jail Librarians For Disgusting Sex Books, Including Images Of 'Gender Identity'
Christian Nationalist Clown Wants To Send All The 'Devil Worshipers' To Jail
I Got My Student Loans Ready For Joe Biden's Big Income-Based Forgive-A-Thon And You Should Too
Republicans Propose Flurry Of Stupid Bigot Anti-Trans Laws, And When We Say Flurry We Mean 167.
Supreme Court Investigates 'Dobbs' Leak, Excludes Likeliest Suspects, Comes Up Empty ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Iowa GOP Will Stop Cadillac-Driving Young Bucks From Living It Up On Cooking Oil, Salt, Hobo Beans
Ben Shapiro Offered Steven Crowder $50 Million, And He Is ... Pissed?
George Santos Remembers Summers Playing Wiffleball With Anna Wintour On Long Island
The Debt Ceiling, AGAIN? The Deuce You Say!
How To Finish An Attic! Tabs, Fri., Jan. 20, 2023
Glenn Greenwald Having Real Stopped Leopard Twice A Face Moment About Matt Walsh
Ron DeSantis Cancels 'Un-American' African American Studies AP Classes, F*ck You Is Why
Looks Like E. Jean Carroll Is Trump's Type After All
LOL House Republicans' 'Fair Tax' LOLOLOL Rick Santorum Wanking Dot Gif
George Santos Denies Drag Queening And Robbing Dying Dog's GoFundMe. In That Order.
Texas Republican Thinks It's Legal To Eat Babies. Should We Be Concerned?
Tucker Has Thoughts On Resignation Of Chinese Dictator Jacinda Ardern
Do Students In Missouri Telescreen Classes Dream Of Electric Teachers?
Charlie Kirk Unveils New White Christian Martyr, It Is Hockey Player Who Wouldn't Wear Gay Jersey
NY Dem Gov Kathy Hochul Might Just SUE NY Dems Who Blocked Her Not-So-Great Judge Pick
40+ Pet Reactions To Kisses That Gave Us Cuteness Overload! Tabs, Thurs., Jan. 19, 2023
GOP ND State Senator Lady Not Trying To Be Hurtful, BUT CHILD FURRIES AREN'T REAL CATS, OK?
Trump Just Took Those Docs As, Umm, 'Cool Keepsakes.' We're Cool, Right?
Your White House Press Briefing Starts Now Or Somewhere Thereabouts!
Biden Does Immigrant Workers A Solid; Wingnuts Too Busy Freaking Out Over Gas Stoves To Notice
Hey, Here Are The Cool 'Moderate' Republicans Who'll Still Vote To Impeach Hunter Biden's Laptop
Biden Called Republicans Basket Full Of Fiscal Dementia, And Fox News Is MAD
How Are We Flaunting Our 'Qualified Immunity' Today?
NYC Mayor Eric Adams Channels Gloria Steinem From 1972: Vagina Vagina Vagina, Also Abortions!
Kyrsten Sinema Working Hard To Finish Fourth In Three-Way Senate Race
Republicans Launch Wingnut Trench War For Open Indiana Senate Seat
Kevin McCarthy Desperately Hopes You Believe Sh*t He's Making Up About Eric Swalwell
How The Kitchen Has Changed Over 100 Years! Tabs, Wed., Jan. 18, 2023
Harris Faulkner DISGUSTED By 'MILF' Show, Would Like To Talk About JESUS INSTEAD!
Megyn Kelly Can't Look At New MLK Sculpture Without Seeing Big Black Wanger
MORE House Republican Infighting? But We're Gonna Run Out Of Snacks!
It's Biden With The Basketball Guys! That's Always Fun!
Antivaxx Loons RFK Jr., Jim Hoft, Other Idiots Sue News Outlets For Booting Them Off Twitter
It's Your White House Press Briefing, Watch And Learn!
Oh Nothing, Just An Election-Losing MAGA Creep Shooting At New Mexico Dems' Houses
Lauren Boebert And Marjorie Taylor Greene Had A Fight In The Bathroom
Who Needs Social Security When Republicans Will Let You Work Until You Die, Possibly Longer?
Wyoming Republicans Will Ban Electric Cars, Just Kidding, They Are Only Teasing! Pranked You!
Best Spots To View Dead Sperm Whale That Washed Up On Oregon Coast. Tabs, Tues., Jan. 17, 2023
And Now For A Regular Normal Totally Not Weird Message From Marjorie Taylor Greene
DOJ Seizes $150K In Assets From Vet-Scamming Church
Watch A Real US President Discuss Racial Discrimination On MLK Day!
If You Weren't Opposed To Cash Bail And Solitary Confinement Before, You Will Be Now
Newly Empowered Republicans Focus On What's 'Important'
PSA: New GOP House Oversight Chair James Comer Is A F*cking Clown
Could Forever AZ Gov Candidate Kari Lake Unseat Indie Sen. Kyrsten Sinema?
Joe Biden Embraces Dr. King's Dream As A Call To Action
Is Asking Teachers Not To Bully Their Students Religious Discrimination?
Some Republicans Would Rather Work While White Than Enjoy MLK Day
61 Home Bar Design Ideas! Tabs, Mon., Jan. 16, 2023
Wonkette Weekend Chat: Who Is George Santos? Who Are You? Who Is Anyone Really?
Conservatives Threaten Brewery For Canceling MAGA Killer Kyle Rittenhouse Event
Wonkette Movie Night: Best In Show
George Santos/Anthony Devolder/ George Devolder/George Glass May Be Dirty Rotten Scarf Thief
Joe Biden Gonna Regulate Your AR-15 'Pistols' Like The Short-Barreled Rifles They Pretty Much Are
Right Wing Kooks Really All Over The Place With The Lisa Marie Conspiracies
Conservatives Having Jolly Old Time Making Fun Of, Threatening Officials' Families
Your Wonkette Top Ten Stories Of The Week Will Never Be A Teen Model
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Gaelic Old Fashioned!
Alan Dershowitz Can't Be Forced To Follow Normal Lawyer Rules. Do You Kids Even Know Who He Is?
Idaho Republican 'Deeply Sorry' For Comparing Human Women To Dairy Cows
Republicans Fixin' To Impeach DHS Secretary Mayorkas For Seizing Too Much Fentanyl ... Or Something?
Wisconsin GOP Guy Brags About How Well Suppressing Black Vote Worked In 2022
Missouri Republicans Strike Down Right To Bare Arms
I'm Marjorie Taylor Greene And I Would Like To Apologize To The Jews For That Space Laser Thing
Should We Perhaps Check Under The Floorboards Of 'Born Alive' Bill Supporters?
Los Angeles Cops Going For Some Kind Of People-Of-Color Killing Record We Guess
Idaho School Board Proposed Being Nice To Gay Kids. YOU'LL NEVER GUESS ... Oh, You Will.
Here Are The Rank Seditionists Who Get To Chair Committees In Kevin McCarthy's House
16 Ina Garten Recipes To Channel Your Inner Barefoot Contessa! Tabs, Fri., Jan. 13, 2023
Will Special Counsel LOCK HER UP Joe Biden For 'Aggravated Malarkey'? All Your Questions Answered!
You'll Have To Drag George Santos Out Of Congress Bracelets First
Feliz Jueves! Your White House Press Briefing Is Right Here!
Did Joe Biden Just Fix Student Loan Debt Going Forward? Mayyyyybe!
Jesse Watters So Mad Gay Secretary Mayor Pete Grounded All The Woke Transvestite Airplanes Yesterday
CNN Confirms More Details About What Allegedly Schlappened That Night
Democrats Turned Michigan Into Woke Socialist Hellhole On First Day Of Legislature, It Was Awesome
Bret Stephens And David Brooks Had A Pity Party, And Nobody Else Came
Larry Summers Not Afraid Of You Losing Your Job If That's What It Takes To Whip Inflation Now
33 DIY Home Renovations to Transform Your Space! Tabs, Thurs., Jan. 12, 2023
Sarah Huckabee Sanders Spends First Day As AR Governor Being Dishonest A-Hole. Surprise!
Bob Loblaw's Law Bot (Not) Coming To Supreme Court Near You!
Oh Sh*t, Ohio Student Noticed Top Secret Anti-Racist Message Of 'The Sneetches'
Fox News Exposes Chinese Plot To Weaken US With NO-BOYS-ALLOWED M&M's
SYLVIA BROWNE PREDICTION: Karine Jean-Pierre Gonna Have To Answer Some Real Dumbass Questions Today
If We Could Keep This Hunter Biden Investigation About Hunter Biden, That Would Be Great, Mmkay?
Give Us Gas Stoves Or Give Us Death! Maybe Even Both!
'Ending Native American Reservations' So Offensive Even Montana Republican Stands Down
Biden 'Surprised' Classified Docs Found At His Think Tank, But He WOULD Say That, Now Wouldn't He?
How Do GOP Leaders Solve A Problem Like George Santos?
Katie Porter And Her Whiteboard Are Running For Senate!
The 14 Mistakes I Regret When I Started The Mediterranean Diet! Tabs, Wed., Jan. 11, 2023
Hi, Allen Weisselberg! Have Fun Living At Rikers Because You Crimed For Trump, Allen Weisselberg!
House Republicans Passed A Rules Package! Here's How Much It Sucks.
Proud Boys Lose Lawyer, Fight For All White Jury, Manhood In Jan 6 Suit
Everybody Hates Matt Gaetz And His Stupid Great Big Face Now
Rudy Giuliani Subpoenaed About Ratf*cking Payouts From Trump PACs
Seditionist GOP Rep. Paul Gosar Exposes REAL Jan. 6 Coup, It Was Nancy Pelosi And Gen. Mark Milley!
House Republicans Defund Joe Biden's IRS Zombie Army
Marjorie Taylor Greene Loses Rap Battle With Dr. Dre
TRUMP AND JOE BIDEN BOTH STOLE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS AND TOOK THEM TO MAR-A-LAGO! (Except Joe Biden)
Come Watch More Flawless House Republican Victories!
Rudy Giuliani Talkin' Kangaroo Teats And Vaginas COME BACK HERE THIS IS IMPORTANT
GA Grand Jury Finishes 2020 Election Investigation. How You Livin', Trumpworld?
SCOTUS Won't Let Mormon Trumpet Band Overturn 2020 Election
Curious What Herschel Walker's Son Christian Thinks About This Matt Schlapp Business?
Ron DeSantis Appoints Chris Rufo Head Of Slaying Woke Heathens At Florida College
'15th Time's The Charm' Is Totally A Thing. Seriously! Stop Laughing!!
Trump Sec Def Recasts Jan 6 As War Of Congressional Aggression
Families Of Prisoners Will No Longer Be Charged Obscene Rates Just To Talk On The Phone
Marjorie Taylor Greene: HEY, Y'ALL, I'M NORMAL NOW!
Anti-Vaxxer Scared Vaccinated Pilots Will 'Die Suddenly' And Crash Plane
Kyle Rittenhouse Extremely 'Pro-Life' Except For How He Killed Two People
Brazilian Fascists So Derivative, Hold Own January 6 On January 8
Well-Regulated Six-Year-Old Shoots Virginia Schoolteacher
The 9 Best Bar Cabinets Of 2023! Tabs, Mon., Jan. 9, 2023
Wonkette Weekend Chat: House Speaker Smackdown Edition
Your Future House Speaker Hakeem Jeffries Schools Republicans With The ABCs Of Leadership
Wonkette Movie Night: 'Knives Out'
Scotland Is About To Have A Good Old Fashioned Witch Trial
The FTC Doesn't Want You To Have To Stay At Your Crap Job Forever
Oklahoma Pol Wants To Ban Gender-Affirming Care For People Under 26
LIVEBLOGGING KEVIN MCCARTHY'S ... Oh Shoot.
Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week Are Trouble
Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Adonis!
Here's Joe Biden To Honor Heroes Who Kept Democracy Safe For ... This Nonsense Going On Now
Oh No And Hooray, It's Another Strong Jobs Report! This Is Excellent Terrible News For Joe Biden!
Who Will Lose The House Speaker's Race Today? Day Four LIVEBLOG!
Kari Lake Calls Herself Governor, As Her Lawyer Alan Dershowitz Whines In Court. Reality Is Hard.
Matt Schlapp Accused Of Groping Male Campaign Staffer, Being A Prick In General
Joe Biden Ready To Cancel Supreme Court's College Loans Or Something
South Carolina Can't Have Its Nonsensical Anti-Abortion Law
Laura Ingraham Also Too Got Humiliated On Live TV This Week
Fox News Hosts Have Kink, It Is Secretary Mayor Pete Kicking Them In Dick
Ask The Gay Penguins How 'Limited' Florida's 'Don't Say Gay' Law Is. YOU CAN'T THEY'RE BANNED
This Is What Actually Makes Streaming So Dangerous! Tabs, Fri., Jan. 6, 2023
President Joe Biden Honors Heroes Of 1/6. Hint, Not The 'Tourists'
Sen. Debbie Stabenow Has HAD IT With You People, IS OUT OF HERE!
Florida's Witchfinder General Accuses GOP Rep.-Elect Of Casting Spells, Consorting With Demons
In Fun Trendlet, Ohio Dems Help Elect 'Moderate' Speaker To Republican Supermajority House
Kevin McCarthy Has Chosen To Stay And Fail: Day Three!
Abortion Pills For Everyone! (Almost!) Tiny American Flags For The Rest!
Former DC Cop Michael Fanone Stops By Capitol To Check In On Old 'Weasel Bitch' Kevin McCarthy
Henry Ford And His Magnificent $5 A Day Wage! (Meh.)
Dipsh*ts Charged In Christmas Attacks On Four Washington Substations
How Should Responsible Democrats Help Republicans Out Of Their Self-Inflicted House Speaker Debacle?
Fox News Interrupts Its Breaking Drag Queen Scandals To Inform You Kevin McCarthy’s Still Losing
PONZI'S DOWNFALL! Tabs, Thurs., Jan. 5, 2023
Pennsylvania Republican Dickishness Fails, In Surprisingly Decent Outcome
Kevin McCarthy Sh*tshow Day Two: THE ENSH*TTENING!
Montana Republican Not Sure Why Native Americans Even Allowed To Vote If Tribes Want 'Sovereignty'
Democrats Having Exact Right Amount Of Fun Watching Kevin McCarthy Fail
LA Mayor Karen Bass Moving Unhoused People 'Inside Safe,' For A Start
Poor Sad Stupid Marjorie Taylor Greene Lost All Her Fake Friends
Elise Stefanik’s Road To Nowhere
Your Kevin McCarthy Resignation/Humiliation/Defenestration/Flawless Victory Clock Starts NOW!
House Speaker Vote Chaos Is Boring The Media. Can Democrats Please Just Go Home?
25 Sneaky Car Dealership Tricks To Avoid at All Costs! Tabs, Wed., Jan. 4, 2023
Is Secretary Mayor Pete Buttigieg To Blame For How Much Southwest Airlines Sucks?
We've Got More Nifty Energy And Climate News If You Can Stand It, And We Bet You Can
Matt Gaetz Saying BENGHAZI LIBELS!11!!1 And Other Scenes From A Really Neat Day In Congress
Republicans Declare Number One Priority: Protecting Tax Cheats
Will McCarthy Get Enough Votes To Be House Speaker? Let's See!
House Republicans' First Order Of Business EVEN BEFORE KILLING IRS: Kill House 'Ethics' Office :)
Happy New Year To Everyone Except Scumbags Using Damar Hamlin As Prop For Sicko Anti-Vax Fantasies
Short, Rude Woman Pens Long, Rude Op-Ed On Why Tall People Shouldn't Exist
AZ Gov. Katie Hobbs Laughs During Swearing-In. That's An Impeachin'!
Can Donald Trump Jr. Read? Or Is He Just Lazy? Or A Liar? All These?
Why That Talking Tina Doll Wasn't The Best Christmas Gift. Tabs, Tues., Jan. 3, 2023
'Anti-Woke' Beauty Queen Teams Up With The Taliban To Defend Andrew Tate
Jan. 6 Insurrectionists Knew They Couldn't Fail With Roger Stone And Alex Jones On Their Side
Oh Hey, George Santos's Ex-Boyfriend! Sit By Us And Tell Us Everything!
Republicans In Flawless Disarray Over Tuesday's Speaker Vote
Trump Unsure Who Appointed All Those Anti-Choice Supreme Court Justices
Why Is Hope Hicks Trending? What Year Is This?
Illinois Temporarily Banned From Banning Cash Bail
Jan. 6 Report Describes Derelict In Chief Channel Surfing Through The Insurrection
Republicans Mocking Rep-elect Maxwell Frost Too Fancy To Know How Renting Apartments Work
SPOTTED! At Trump's Big Sexy Mar-a-Lago NYE Bash: Nobody.
37 Most Tragically Hilarious Renovation Failures We've Ever Seen! Tabs, Mon., Jan. 2, 2023
Hats Off To Wonkette's 2022 Legislative Badass, Nancy Pelosi!
Your 2022 Legislative Shitmuffin, By Default, Is Kyrsten Sinema (Hooray)
2022 In Energy And Climate: The Transition Is ON
The Year In Joe Biden Had A Pretty Good Year!
2022: The Year In Losing Senate Loons
2022: Don't Worry, They'll Never Outlaw Abortion, Wait What?